Needofwisdom: Cold turkey, escitalopram withdrawal

[Happy2Heal]

On 9/30/2021 at 1:31 AM, Needofwisdom said:

What in the heck is it going to take to get off this crap ?  I mean seriously is there a way off this drug when im at .32ml and cant get off ? How low am i supposed to go this is an absolute nightmare i cant get any proper sleep. 

Hi @Needofwisdom  I am so sorry your are going thru this, trying to get off this awful drug!!
I was on it for a long time, here is my history with this drug

(I'm using the brand name Lexapro, because I find it hard to spell the generic name, escit............blah blah blah LOL)

 

• started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
•  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
•  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
• Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well 

As you can see, I tried many times to get off of it, and I also went up and down in the dose many times. I would like to STRONGLY urge you to NOT do this.  More than likely it is not going to help you any and it will probably make your withdrawal last longer and maybe harder than I would have been if you had followed the very simple but incredibly WISE advice given here: to go SLOW and to stay STABLE and STEADY on the dose.

 

My drs changed my doses many times at first but then when I wanted to get off the drug, I was told to just stop, or to cut the dose in half for a few days and then in half again for a few days and that it every other day and then stop

BAD BAD BAD advice, the drs were very wrong!!  but I didn't know any better. I did not have the benefit of the wisdom here on this site.

 

THEN even when I found SA and got great advice, I didn't always listen. I made some stupid mistakes and I cost myself a lot of unnecessary suffering. I thought that the drs were right, that 2.5mgs was "nothing" and that nothing bad would happen if I just stopped.

THE drs were WRONG and SA and Alto and all the good folks here giving me advice were RIGHT

 

Not only that, lexapro is so strong, that I could literally feel the difference in a dose change of just 0.01 mgs!!!

 

I am not telling you this to scare you, I am telling this to let you know that what you think is true, may not be... you are going thru a tough time, by your own admission, you are sleep deprived. Your thinking may be fuzzy. You may feel desperate for relief.

Almost all of us have been thru this, have had the severe insomnia as well and believe me, we sympathize!
it sucks

 

but going up and down in your dose is NOT going to help you. 

 

BUT to answer your question, IF you want to, YES you can get off this drug. You can get off it much easier if you stay at a steady dose, no ups and downs! and go slow, and put all your energy into finding ways to accept and to deal with your current symptoms.

 

it is hard, we all know this. All of us have walked the same road as you are, or one very similar.

It's tough but you are tougher.

 

Rest when you can. do things that you enjoy when you can. try to focus on what you are able to do. find things to distract yourself when you are feeling awful.

 

Your brain wants to heal. Our entire body is a self healing "machine" so to speak. It will heal itself if we give it time.

 

I have been off lexapro now for four years and I am doing great!! I never thought this would be possible. I want thru hell for one very long year and had a few other years that were quite rough too. I would have saved myself some misery if I had GONE SLOWER and not gone up and down in the dose but even with making those mistakes

I still healed! and I am on the other side now and it's wonderful

 

you will heal too.

You can do this too, if you want to. 

 

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

On 9/30/2021 at 1:31 AM, Needofwisdom said:

Thank you for your input but i have a something to add, ok i understand how you could be doubtful of something i have personally experienced based on your own assesment but i have experienced the withdrawals and the side effects of starting in the past snd while they are similar they are also unique.  I have also been off the medication prior to reinstating for months just like when I weaned off in november 2019 and started again in april 2020 i was experiencing side effects of restarting the drug back in April. When you go off an ssri for a while then go back on it you are going to have to go through the side effects of restarting it again aren't you ?

I know you were addressing Alto but let me just chime in here with what I experienced, as someone who went on and off this drug way too many times.

Your nervous system becomes destabilized when you do this. After a certain period of time of doing these stops and starts and up and downs, there is NO MORE  pattern to anything. There is no "normal start up" or "normal withdrawal" symptoms.

It's a crap shoot what symptoms you are gong to get.

You can not count on this drug doing what it used to do, when you go up and down in your dose, or stop and start it.

 

You have thoroughly confused your poor brain. It wants to heal, it wants stability.

It wants that very badly.

 

be kind to your brain and realize that now, if you want to heal, it is going to take time. 

 

I didn't sleep more than an hour out of 24 for more than a year. I had constant severe anxiety and panic attacks. And more. 

 

That did NOT need to happen. I had successfully tapered down to 2.5mgs and IGNORED the advice I was given here, and I stopped CT and destabilized my nervous system so badly that even the tiny tiny reinstatement I tried, did not and could not stop the symptoms.

 

Please do not do this to yourself. Please take these drugs seriously, esp this one, the lexapro, it is super super strong.

 

I know you think you've hit the worst it can get, but if you don't keep steady on your dose, if you don't stop adding other drugs to try to deal with symptoms, things could actually get worse.

 

 

I know you're not feeling great now but if you stay put and ride this out, you are going to start to feel better.

 

 

[Needofwisdom]

On 10/4/2021 at 3:18 PM, Happy2Heal said:

I know you were addressing Alto but let me just chime in here with what I experienced, as someone who went on and off this drug way too many times.

Your nervous system becomes destabilized when you do this. After a certain period of time of doing these stops and starts and up and downs, there is NO MORE  pattern to anything. There is no "normal start up" or "normal withdrawal" symptoms.

It's a crap shoot what symptoms you are gong to get.

You can not count on this drug doing what it used to do, when you go up and down in your dose, or stop and start it.

 

You have thoroughly confused your poor brain. It wants to heal, it wants stability.

It wants that very badly.

 

be kind to your brain and realize that now, if you want to heal, it is going to take time. 

 

I didn't sleep more than an hour out of 24 for more than a year. I had constant severe anxiety and panic attacks. And more. 

 

That did NOT need to happen. I had successfully tapered down to 2.5mgs and IGNORED the advice I was given here, and I stopped CT and destabilized my nervous system so badly that even the tiny tiny reinstatement I tried, did not and could not stop the symptoms.

 

Please do not do this to yourself. Please take these drugs seriously, esp this one, the lexapro, it is super super strong.

 

I know you think you've hit the worst it can get, but if you don't keep steady on your dose, if you don't stop adding other drugs to try to deal with symptoms, things could actually get worse.

 

 

I know you're not feeling great now but if you stay put and ride this out, you are going to start to feel better.

 

 

 

Thank you for all the advice i just dont think i can handle this anymore.. i hadnt checked SA since sunday and on monday i stopped taking .32ml so what am I supposed to do start up again today ? Its been a couple of days i definitely felt the drop on the first day and i feel like my mind is clearer now that im off and of course i can just get worst later... but what am i supposed to do just keep staying on it while its zombying me out and burning my head making my body shake in the middle of the night. You said it yourself once you go back on it after you stopped you cant predict what it will do next..  i mean eventually im gonna have to stop it right .. like is there no way off this drug ? I cant stabilize on it if im just going to continue being zombied out, not sleeping..

 

So what do you recommend because every bone in my body is telling me to stay off this stuff .. 

[Needofwisdom]

On 10/3/2021 at 1:05 PM, Altostrata said:

 

How much drug in milligrams, not milliliters, are you taking? Do you feel better or worse after the increase?

 

We don't treat "depression" here. What we want to do is help people manage withdrawal symptoms. If you want treatment for "depression", you'll have to talk to a doctor.

 

Please note: Your prior experience of "depression" may have arisen from your habit of taking your drug inconsistently.

 

Altostrata i know what ai did was probably really foolish but i stopped taking the dose a couple days ago i probably messed up by doing that but im actually feeling more clear ever since i did. I wanted to stop to see how it would affect me.. its been 2 days now and at the moment im just feeling a bit better so maybe the dose i was on was too high or maybe this is just a trick before i begin to feel worst again all i know is that when i was on it it was giving me a slew of more symptoms and now i feel a bit more like myself... i dont know about reinstating 2 days out and I know you are probably thinking what a fool but im just at a loss for what my next step should be. Should i try a smaller dose should i go back on the original dose i jumped off at ? 

[Altostrata]

At this point, you know what the score is. Please make your own decisions. I don't think there's anything else I can add.

[Happy2Heal]

4 hours ago, Needofwisdom said:

So what do you recommend because every bone in my body is telling me to stay off this stuff .. 

I replied to your private message and I will post my response here:
 

Hi 

how much lexapro were you taking? about a third of a mg? 

some ppl "jump off" at 1mg, so if you were under 1mg you will likely be fine.

 

you should expect that things will be rocky for awhile- or not!! it's impossible to predict how things are going to go, when you've gone on and off a drug several times in a short period of time as you have

 

but whatever you decide to do, you NEED TO STICK WITH IT!

you need to understand, getting off these meds takes time and patience.

you need to learn ways to handle the symptoms and really, you need to learn non drug ways for handling life

 

if you are not ready to do that, no one is going to be able to help you

 

if you want ideas to cope with the symptoms, we are here for you

 

if you want to vent about how awful it is, we are here for you

 

but when you stop and start or go up and down in dose, as Alto might say, you are causing your own problems and frankly no one has time for that.

 

You should expect that things may be rough for a while. Plan for it, figure out how you will cope.

 

if your only idea is to ingest something to make the bad feelings stop, then you are probably not ready to be off of these meds. I don't know

 

It takes some time to adjust to a different way of thinking.

it is a new concept for most of us, we are constantly being pushed to take drugs of all kinds via TV commercials, doctors, friends, pharmacies, it's everywhere

 

so we truly do understand

 

but you have to come to a place where you ready to knuckle down and do what needs to be done to get thru this

 

we all thought the same thing. HOW am I going to manage with so little sleep!!! how can anyone get thru this????

but we all DID make it thru it!!
yes it was tough but it's definitely do-able

 

you are stronger than you think.

you have to start realizing that.

you need to start telling yourself, I can do this!!
I'm a strong and courageous person!

Others have made it thru this, they will help me along the way

 

until you are ready to do that, no one is going to be able to help you

 

good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I will add, that while it's good to plan for the worst, you MAY very well do just fine!! if so, be pleasantly surprised and go on about your life!!

 

but if you plan for things to be rough, at least you will be prepared. Get your mind set for being super kind to yourself, paying attention to what your body needs and wants, reading the non drug coping skills sections here, and when things seem rough, read the Success Stories. You will see that people have gone thru what you are going thru and are just fine now. Yes it was rough, no one will tell you otherwise

but we are all just ordinary folks and we figured out a way to get thru the tough stuff

 

you will too. You really will.

Vent about how awful it if, if it makes you feel better,

but also try to find one good thing every day to be grateful for

Look for positive changes.

Your body wants to heal and it will if you let it.

 

ok? 

 

[Needofwisdom]

Happy2Heal i sent you my reply to your post in pm thank you for that

 

Update

 

Reinstatement for that long was a bad idea should have gone off sooner now have terrible insomnia went from 5 to 7 hours of sleep to barely sleeping 2 hours again..yet somehow still wired up .. off the drug mind feels more clear but with the terrible insomnia its taking a huge toll on everything.

 

So now im screwed because nothing seems to help me fall asleep and stay asleep.. every night its constant waking up in 2 hours wide eyed with these burning nerve tinling nerve sensations on the scalp area arms legs chest.. 

[Needofwisdom]

Update had a sleep study conducted blood work done results were low testosterone both free and total testosterone were low... prolactin levels were low. Fsh and lg on the low end. I believe the burning sensations and the insomnia i experienced were not from withdrawals but rather from the side effects of restarting lexapro and inaccurately dosing it with the scale which like go2zero stated was basically impossible to do accurately. Withdrawals and side effects are very similar.. the bottom line is that like I was told reinstatement was not an exact science. From this experience going back on relieved some symptoms while exacerbating others.

 

I know that I made many errors during reinstatement but i was literally under so much pressure and still am.. since i reinstated my sleep is now my biggest issue i am wakimg up every hour or 2 often with burning stinging pain on my scalp my legs my shoulders etc. I believe that was from lexapro hotting me with adrenaline over and over in the mornings causing some sort of nerve damage parasthesia. The insomnia is the worst at least before reinstating i could sleep thrpugh the night now i cant sleep many nights and if i do i cant sleep through the night. I recently had a sleep study conducted and duromg the sleep study conducted and i stupidly took melatonin magnesium and chamomille before which affected the way i should have had shown the sleep study done.

 

If i were to this all over again i would start with the liquid dose and accurately measure each dose. I would also take a benzo as a sleep aid symptom reliever throughout the initial first few weeks. I would eliminate most supplements. 

 

Happy2heal thank you for thpse posts they really mean a lot to me. I had a really rough time the first few weeks after i stopped. Im still having a rough time but im trying to stick through it. 

 

I have been avoiding taking many medications they tried to get me on after i stopped the lexapro reinstatement. This includes ambien, elavil,remeron,gabapentin. I dont take anything except melatonin and magnesium with chamomille tea and honey. 

 

Basically every other night or 2 nights in a row i get zero sleep. When i do get sleep its around 2 to 4.5 hours a night. 

[Needofwisdom]

Can anyone help me understand why im experiencing this burning throughout my entire body and head when sleeping/waking up ? I wake up in 2 hours with my skin on my entire body feeling like it is on fire. Is this from withdrawals now ? Why did my sleep get so messed up from reinstatement ? This is such torture

[Happy2Heal]

I am sorry you are still going thru a rough time

as far as I know, a burning sensation is a common WD symptom. I know I had it from time to time but I had so many other symptoms it didn't register high on my list of things that gave me grief.

the sleep issues are sadly often the most persistent.

 

I wish I could tell you when they will get better or end, but no one know that.

I can only tell you that afaik everyone does heal eventually and these long sleepless nights will end eventually

 

 

what do you do when you can't sleep?

 

sometimes just laying there and reading or listening to relaxation tapes or even just thinking about things you enjoy doing can help you get thru a long sleepless night

 

I found that resting was almost as good as sleep

 

for the burning sensation, I wonder if using an ice pack might help?

or talking a cool shower or bath?

 

I think I used some cucumber lotion at one point. I honestly don't recall what the results were.

 

even if these things don't work or only help a little bit, they can serve as distractions

 

for much of WD recovery, I relied on distractions. They really did help

 

it's going to get better.

try not to go over in your mind what you did or didnt' do in the past, you can't change it. we all have regrets

You need to get past them and just realize you did the best you could under the circumstances, that's all anyone can do

 

sometimes WD symptoms can feel like a punishment, like we must have done something really wrong or bad to deserve feeling this awful but the symptoms are really just from your brain working hard to heal

 

it's a big job for your brain to do.

oftentimes a period of intense symptoms is followed by a great big huge wonderful window of feeling GOOD

 

I am hoping that's what is on it's way for you

 

 

 

 

[Needofwisdom]

2 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I am sorry you are still going thru a rough time

as far as I know, a burning sensation is a common WD symptom. I know I had it from time to time but I had so many other symptoms it didn't register high on my list of things that gave me grief.

the sleep issues are sadly often the most persistent.

 

I wish I could tell you when they will get better or end, but no one know that.

I can only tell you that afaik everyone does heal eventually and these long sleepless nights will end eventually

 

 

what do you do when you can't sleep?

 

sometimes just laying there and reading or listening to relaxation tapes or even just thinking about things you enjoy doing can help you get thru a long sleepless night

 

I found that resting was almost as good as sleep

 

for the burning sensation, I wonder if using an ice pack might help?

or talking a cool shower or bath?

 

I think I used some cucumber lotion at one point. I honestly don't recall what the results were.

 

even if these things don't work or only help a little bit, they can serve as distractions

 

for much of WD recovery, I relied on distractions. They really did help

 

it's going to get better.

try not to go over in your mind what you did or didnt' do in the past, you can't change it. we all have regrets

You need to get past them and just realize you did the best you could under the circumstances, that's all anyone can do

 

sometimes WD symptoms can feel like a punishment, like we must have done something really wrong or bad to deserve feeling this awful but the symptoms are really just from your brain working hard to heal

 

it's a big job for your brain to do.

oftentimes a period of intense symptoms is followed by a great big huge wonderful window of feeling GOOD

 

I am hoping that's what is on it's way for you

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you happy2heal. It has been so so difficult for me never in a million years could i have imagined this happening to me because of this drug that i fiolishly took so lightly. i am feeling weaker and weaker each day from the lack of sleep it has taken such a toll on my body and mind.The burning sensation is just downright terrifying its like my whole body is on fire.  I wasnt even on the drug for a long time i dont understand why i cant get back to normal.  When i cant sleep i just get up and pace around feeling like im about to lose my mind.

 

I know you have probably heard it all before but I really am losing everything and everyone around me to this poison and my own family doesnt believe me and thinks its "psychological". I dont understand how i can get through this when my own family only cares about money and thinks im making this up. 

 

If you were in my shoes what would you do?  Im getting really desperate here and feel like im really close to my breaking point but i am trying hard to maintain what sanity i have left. 

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

I'm sorry for all you're going thru.

 

I TOTALLY understand feeling like you're close to your breaking point, believe me I do!! I was there many times during WD

 

I hate to say this because I know just how difficult this is, but accepting what you are going thru will help you a lot.

 

how?

it is taking up valuable energy to stay upset about things you can't change

you can't change how long this process will take, so don't spend any time or energy fretting about that. just accept that it will end eventually.

 

You can't change that your friends and family don't understand, so just let that go

 

for the vast majority of us, there was no one else who understood or believed up except for the folks here on this forum

It's tough but that's how it is. at least we have each other, right?  

 

we ALL pretty much took these medications lightly and that is NOT OUR FAULT. this crap is pushed so heavily by the drug companies and taken by around 25% of the population, so why would we not think it was safe and not a big deal?  we were lied to. we can't go back and change that so we just accept that this is where we are, and we now know what to do (or not do, as the case may be) I have a hard time taking an aspirin for a headache now.  but that's ok. lesson learned.

 

instead of pacing, do you like to read? or listen to music? can you watch tv to distract yourself?

does pacing make you feel any better?

if not, don't do it!

 

try very hard to focus on those things that DO make you feel a bit better, and it will probably only be a wee bit better, but that will be enough to get you from one moment to the next

 

all we ever really have to do is get thru the "RIGHT now" and the very next moment that comes. You are doing it now, you can do it for the next moment

 

don't think back and fret over how long you've felt this way, don't look ahead and worry or wonder how long it will last, JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT

 

I know this sounds too simple and doesn't seem like it would help much but this is EXACTLY how I got thru those periods of quiet desperation that you're in now

 

it's hard. it's ok to feel sorry for yourself, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling.

you have a right to be angry and disappointed and scared and all of that.

these are feelings, though, they are not facts

 

the anxiety that comes with WD will try to convince you that there is something awful happening or about to happen. Don't listen to it

the anxiety is coming from the work your brain is doing to heal.

the only thing it means is that you are HEALING

 

it feels bad and it seems absurd to think of this as a good thing, because healing is a good thing. this is not going to last forever.

it will end.

 

just find ways to keep putting one foot in front of the other

 

remind yourself of how strong you truly are, that you have gotten this far!! 

you are doing great, you need to know that.

 

 

[Needofwisdom]

I am losing my mind going psychotic now from lack of sleep and stupidly reinstating the lexapro with 20mg then 2.5 then .5 without knowing what i was getting myself into.. i am now noticing synchronicities around me going paranoid about things having intrusive thoughts .my legs and feet burn my head burns my thoughts are all numb and empty. I am getting increased suicidal thoughts. The worst thing is that the .5 reinstatement made my sleep worst when i improved it to 5 to 7 hours it went back to 2 hour cycles or less.

[Needofwisdom]

I am also realizing how many mistakes i made during the reinstatement by taking too many supplements that masked symptoms from the escitalopram during the reinstatement. Like l theanine which did a good job masking the burning and anxiety i was experiencing from the escitalopram. 

[Needofwisdom]

On 11/10/2021 at 8:10 AM, Happy2Heal said:

I'm sorry for all you're going thru.

 

I TOTALLY understand feeling like you're close to your breaking point, believe me I do!! I was there many times during WD

 

I hate to say this because I know just how difficult this is, but accepting what you are going thru will help you a lot.

 

how?

it is taking up valuable energy to stay upset about things you can't change

you can't change how long this process will take, so don't spend any time or energy fretting about that. just accept that it will end eventually.

 

You can't change that your friends and family don't understand, so just let that go

 

for the vast majority of us, there was no one else who understood or believed up except for the folks here on this forum

It's tough but that's how it is. at least we have each other, right?  

 

we ALL pretty much took these medications lightly and that is NOT OUR FAULT. this crap is pushed so heavily by the drug companies and taken by around 25% of the population, so why would we not think it was safe and not a big deal?  we were lied to. we can't go back and change that so we just accept that this is where we are, and we now know what to do (or not do, as the case may be) I have a hard time taking an aspirin for a headache now.  but that's ok. lesson learned.

 

instead of pacing, do you like to read? or listen to music? can you watch tv to distract yourself?

does pacing make you feel any better?

if not, don't do it!

 

try very hard to focus on those things that DO make you feel a bit better, and it will probably only be a wee bit better, but that will be enough to get you from one moment to the next

 

all we ever really have to do is get thru the "RIGHT now" and the very next moment that comes. You are doing it now, you can do it for the next moment

 

don't think back and fret over how long you've felt this way, don't look ahead and worry or wonder how long it will last, JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT

 

I know this sounds too simple and doesn't seem like it would help much but this is EXACTLY how I got thru those periods of quiet desperation that you're in now

 

it's hard. it's ok to feel sorry for yourself, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling.

you have a right to be angry and disappointed and scared and all of that.

these are feelings, though, they are not facts

 

the anxiety that comes with WD will try to convince you that there is something awful happening or about to happen. Don't listen to it

the anxiety is coming from the work your brain is doing to heal.

the only thing it means is that you are HEALING

 

it feels bad and it seems absurd to think of this as a good thing, because healing is a good thing. this is not going to last forever.

it will end.

 

just find ways to keep putting one foot in front of the other

 

remind yourself of how strong you truly are, that you have gotten this far!! 

you are doing great, you need to know that.

 

 

 

 

Happy2heal can you please help me i really need your help. I cant take this anymore my sleep isnt improoving and im feeling very discouraged and unstable. Can you tell me some of the things you recommend to get better is it possible to reinstate at this point ? Im losing everything from this i cannot function i can barely do anything for myself im not eating im not sleeping im waking in 2 hpurs and i cant stay asleep. Everyday im losing my mind even more im really scared,please happy2heal please someone i dunno what to do.. will i heal or will it be like this all the time please let me know 

[Happy2Heal]

you *are* going to heal, as far as I know that's pretty much the rule here.

it takes time and I know that sucks but you'll get there,  you will. 

 

 

 

try not to let your mind hold onto these negative thoughts, they are JUST THOUGHTS. they are not the truth.  You are not losing your mind, you are just in withdrawal and it feels bad but that's all. It will end. Nothing stays the same, things are always changing.

 

the truth is that so far you have survived this, it has not been pleasant, we all know that, but you ARE making it thru. it's tough but you  are TOUGHER!

give yourself a pat on the back and a big hug  for doing so well all this time.

 

 

 

can you tell me, what kind of self care are you using?

which tools have you tried from the self help sections on this site?

 

Even in the very worst of acute withdrawal I was able to find at least one think to be thankful for each day, one thing that was good or at least OK, one thing to focus on to lighten the mood

 

write those things down, because when you are in a wave, you will believe that things have always been totally awful and that is not true.

If you look for it, you WILL find one small thing that is not as bad as it was before, one small symptom that is gone (yes, maybe you have some new ones but for right now, ONLY think about what is going right, what is getting better)

 

it sounds hokey and kinda pollyanna- ish but believe me, doing this DOES help

 

so tell me what good thing have you noticed today?

[Needofwisdom]

3 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

you *are* going to heal, as far as I know that's pretty much the rule here.

it takes time and I know that sucks but you'll get there,  you will. 

 

 

 

try not to let your mind hold onto these negative thoughts, they are JUST THOUGHTS. they are not the truth.  You are not losing your mind, you are just in withdrawal and it feels bad but that's all. It will end. Nothing stays the same, things are always changing.

 

the truth is that so far you have survived this, it has not been pleasant, we all know that, but you ARE making it thru. it's tough but you  are TOUGHER!

give yourself a pat on the back and a big hug  for doing so well all this time.

 

 

 

can you tell me, what kind of self care are you using?

which tools have you tried from the self help sections on this site?

 

Even in the very worst of acute withdrawal I was able to find at least one think to be thankful for each day, one thing that was good or at least OK, one thing to focus on to lighten the mood

 

write those things down, because when you are in a wave, you will believe that things have always been totally awful and that is not true.

If you look for it, you WILL find one small thing that is not as bad as it was before, one small symptom that is gone (yes, maybe you have some new ones but for right now, ONLY think about what is going right, what is getting better)

 

it sounds hokey and kinda pollyanna- ish but believe me, doing this DOES help

 

so tell me what good thing have you noticed today?

 

Ok happy2heal this is the third time i my reply accidentally erased i would like to say the one good thing i noticed today is that you replied to my post i am glad thank you. I have had such a stressful frustrating few days im losing my grip i tried visiting my family by driving and only madr it a quarter of the way there and parked for 9 hours   I keep trying but im realky losing my grip on this Its been 8 months now of these withdrawal symptoms. The last 3 months are brutal insomnia waking up in 2 hours. I cant keep going through this im reaching my limit im waking up in 2 hours head burning feet burning body burning.

 

My body and mind just wont recover with such little sleep. I cant believe the trap ive been led to. I know you said to stick with it but i just dont see the improvement if i cant get proper sleep. What can i possibly do at this point ive lost so much time and energy on this i cannot believe it. I dont want to make any further mistakes but at this point i just dont know what else to do is it possible to reinstate at this point ? 

 

I mean im just at a loss as to what to do from here i feel trapped by this poison literally trapped in like the worst rat maze. I feel like im cursed by this and i just want to get better im sorry please help me figure this out maybe. . 

 

 

[Happy2Heal]

oh how frustrating when you type up a reply and you lose it! happens to me all the time

Ugh!

 

I understand you feel trapped. And in a way, you are.... that's the hard honest truth. You are in withdrawal and it is going to take as long as it does, and during that time you are going to feel like crap some days and better other days.

 

One thing that will help is to just ACCEPT that this is how it is.

You don't have to like it but if you keep fighting against it, it will only exhaust you further

 

what to do you do when you can't sleep?

are you awake feeling anxious?

do you get up and try reading or watching tv or listening to soothing music?

 

you never said what you were doing for self care.

 

I know it's very hard, I went thru this too, so did almost everyone here on this forum. I am not an extraordinary person, so if I can get thru it I know you can too. 

 

you need to stop telling yourself things like "I can't keep going..."  or that you wont' recover with so little sleep- YOU WILL!

eventually and probably gradually, you will be able to sleep more and more.

 

I understand you feel like you're at your breaking point. I honestly can't tell you what to do, I'm just a fellow traveler on this journey and looking back from the other side, I just know that it's hard but it can be done.

 

you keep trying different things to get you thru each day.

 

have you tried warm epsom salt baths?

have you tried a gentle walk, esp early in the day?

have you tried maybe cutting back on sugary and refined foods and eating more vegetables?

 

 

when my insomnia was really bad, I started googling to find out what might happen to me if it continued. Like you, I was convinced I couldn't heal if I didn't sleep.

and this is what I found out:
SLEEP IS A PRIMARY NEED.

As I understood that, our body shuts down and does sleep when it needs to.

it just does.

maybe not 100% of it but enough to keep us going. 

 

this was a tremendous relief to  me!
I had a feeling that I must be sleeping more than I thought, but was for some reason unable to be aware of it, and that's probably true.

 

I'm not saying that your insomnia isn't bad, I'm sure it is. I'm just saying that it's not likely to harm you the way you might be thinking.

 

so. lets focus on what you are doing while you are awake.

do you like to read?

go out with friends and play cards?

are you currently working?

 

Sorry I don't have time right now to go back thru your thread, maybe it already has the answers to these questions

 

please tell me what you are doing to help soothe yourself, ok

 

this whole situation does suck, but it's NOT YOUR FAULT and it WILL end, you WILL get better and you WILL be able to sleep more and more as time goes on.

you will be healed.

 

you are well on your way ok?

 

I hope this helps a little bit. I wish I could send a sleep fairy to you and all of us who have or had trouble sleeping, Maybe a sandman to put sleepy sand in your eyes

 

 

rest when you can. it does help!! 

and hang in there ok

 

 

[Needofwisdom]

 

On 11/27/2021 at 1:38 PM, Happy2Heal said:

oh how frustrating when you type up a reply and you lose it! happens to me all the time

Ugh!

 

I understand you feel trapped. And in a way, you are.... that's the hard honest truth. You are in withdrawal and it is going to take as long as it does, and during that time you are going to feel like crap some days and better other days.

 

One thing that will help is to just ACCEPT that this is how it is.

You don't have to like it but if you keep fighting against it, it will only exhaust you further

 

what to do you do when you can't sleep?

are you awake feeling anxious?

do you get up and try reading or watching tv or listening to soothing music?

 

you never said what you were doing for self care.

 

I know it's very hard, I went thru this too, so did almost everyone here on this forum. I am not an extraordinary person, so if I can get thru it I know you can too. 

 

you need to stop telling yourself things like "I can't keep going..."  or that you wont' recover with so little sleep- YOU WILL!

eventually and probably gradually, you will be able to sleep more and more.

 

I understand you feel like you're at your breaking point. I honestly can't tell you what to do, I'm just a fellow traveler on this journey and looking back from the other side, I just know that it's hard but it can be done.

 

you keep trying different things to get you thru each day.

 

have you tried warm epsom salt baths?

have you tried a gentle walk, esp early in the day?

have you tried maybe cutting back on sugary and refined foods and eating more vegetables?

 

 

when my insomnia was really bad, I started googling to find out what might happen to me if it continued. Like you, I was convinced I couldn't heal if I didn't sleep.

and this is what I found out:
SLEEP IS A PRIMARY NEED.

As I understood that, our body shuts down and does sleep when it needs to.

it just does.

maybe not 100% of it but enough to keep us going. 

 

this was a tremendous relief to  me!
I had a feeling that I must be sleeping more than I thought, but was for some reason unable to be aware of it, and that's probably true.

 

I'm not saying that your insomnia isn't bad, I'm sure it is. I'm just saying that it's not likely to harm you the way you might be thinking.

 

so. lets focus on what you are doing while you are awake.

do you like to read?

go out with friends and play cards?

are you currently working?

 

Sorry I don't have time right now to go back thru your thread, maybe it already has the answers to these questions

 

please tell me what you are doing to help soothe yourself, ok

 

this whole situation does suck, but it's NOT YOUR FAULT and it WILL end, you WILL get better and you WILL be able to sleep more and more as time goes on.

you will be healed.

 

you are well on your way ok?

 

I hope this helps a little bit. I wish I could send a sleep fairy to you and all of us who have or had trouble sleeping, Maybe a sandman to put sleepy sand in your eyes

 

 

rest when you can. it does help!! 

and hang in there ok

 

 

i apologize i didnt reply sooner happy2heal. I have so many things going on right now and still very sleep deprived.. very confused and have poor decision making im waking up in an hour or so with pain.. i have a question about dexamethesone hoping someone can help is it safe to tske during withdrawal they want to do a cortisol test on me as well as a full hormone panel.. 

 

I am bombarded with so much right now its so overwhelming.

[Needofwisdom]

On 11/27/2021 at 1:38 PM, Happy2Heal said:

oh how frustrating when you type up a reply and you lose it! happens to me all the time

Ugh!

 

I understand you feel trapped. And in a way, you are.... that's the hard honest truth. You are in withdrawal and it is going to take as long as it does, and during that time you are going to feel like crap some days and better other days.

 

One thing that will help is to just ACCEPT that this is how it is.

You don't have to like it but if you keep fighting against it, it will only exhaust you further

 

what to do you do when you can't sleep?

are you awake feeling anxious?

do you get up and try reading or watching tv or listening to soothing music?

 

you never said what you were doing for self care.

 

I know it's very hard, I went thru this too, so did almost everyone here on this forum. I am not an extraordinary person, so if I can get thru it I know you can too. 

 

you need to stop telling yourself things like "I can't keep going..."  or that you wont' recover with so little sleep- YOU WILL!

eventually and probably gradually, you will be able to sleep more and more.

 

I understand you feel like you're at your breaking point. I honestly can't tell you what to do, I'm just a fellow traveler on this journey and looking back from the other side, I just know that it's hard but it can be done.

 

you keep trying different things to get you thru each day.

 

have you tried warm epsom salt baths?

have you tried a gentle walk, esp early in the day?

have you tried maybe cutting back on sugary and refined foods and eating more vegetables?

 

 

when my insomnia was really bad, I started googling to find out what might happen to me if it continued. Like you, I was convinced I couldn't heal if I didn't sleep.

and this is what I found out:
SLEEP IS A PRIMARY NEED.

As I understood that, our body shuts down and does sleep when it needs to.

it just does.

maybe not 100% of it but enough to keep us going. 

 

this was a tremendous relief to  me!
I had a feeling that I must be sleeping more than I thought, but was for some reason unable to be aware of it, and that's probably true.

 

I'm not saying that your insomnia isn't bad, I'm sure it is. I'm just saying that it's not likely to harm you the way you might be thinking.

 

so. lets focus on what you are doing while you are awake.

do you like to read?

go out with friends and play cards?

are you currently working?

 

Sorry I don't have time right now to go back thru your thread, maybe it already has the answers to these questions

 

please tell me what you are doing to help soothe yourself, ok

 

this whole situation does suck, but it's NOT YOUR FAULT and it WILL end, you WILL get better and you WILL be able to sleep more and more as time goes on.

you will be healed.

 

you are well on your way ok?

 

I hope this helps a little bit. I wish I could send a sleep fairy to you and all of us who have or had trouble sleeping, Maybe a sandman to put sleepy sand in your eyes

 

 

rest when you can. it does help!! 

and hang in there ok

 

 

 

Please happy2heal am i going to make it im so close to losing it. Did you have your mind going in circles over and over again and loding touch with reality ? Im like this im completely forgetting who i was and my mind keeps playing tricks on me and the depression is so bad its inhumane just complete torture... please tell me im not doing something wrong im taking 25mg of trazadone witg tylenol pm still waking up in a couple hours

 

25mg trazadone during withdrawal is that bad please help

[tryingtosurvive330]

Needofwisdom I’m so sorry you’re going through this, sleep deprivation was the worst for me and it really makes every other problem worse. Can you listen to some meditations or a yoga video? I would sometimes put on a yoga by adriene video on YouTube and just watch or listen. She has one for ptsd which made me feel heard. For months I also didn’t get any sleep or I would wake up in about 2 hours and it was agonizing. Realize that even if you are not sleeping, you can still rest. There were times I wanted to scream and smash things but even if I could I was too exhausted. So lay back and focus your ears or eyes on something. It’s not fun but you have to ride the wave. 

[Needofwisdom]

13 hours ago, tryingtosurvive330 said:

Needofwisdom I’m so sorry you’re going through this, sleep deprivation was the worst for me and it really makes every other problem worse. Can you listen to some meditations or a yoga video? I would sometimes put on a yoga by adriene video on YouTube and just watch or listen. She has one for ptsd which made me feel heard. For months I also didn’t get any sleep or I would wake up in about 2 hours and it was agonizing. Realize that even if you are not sleeping, you can still rest. There were times I wanted to scream and smash things but even if I could I was too exhausted. So lay back and focus your ears or eyes on something. It’s not fun but you have to ride the wave. 

 

Hi Tryingtosurvive I am currently almost 3 months off of the lexapro now and im still getting these wake ups in an hour or 2 it has taken a heavy toll on my body and mind. I do rest a lot most of the day because im not able to handle much.. this is such a grueling experience feeling so helpless it was this time last year i was feeling great now im just trying to make it..

 

How is your sleep doing now are you still waking up every few hours or has it stabilized? 

 

 

[tryingtosurvive330]

my sleeping has stabilized for me. I am a light sleeper in general so I still wake up, but it's not as anxiety inducing as it was and I'm able to fall back asleep. It took a couple months after quitting Lexapro for all the symptoms to hit and if you read some of my thread, you'll see that I reinstated and am tapering down again. It takes a long time and I've learned there are no shortcuts. My issues started late last year/January and I only started to sleep about 7 or 8 months in. Now, I still have trouble but it's like fatigue and not debilitating like it was. I was very diligent about sleep meditations and stuff like that.

[Needofwisdom]

God controls everything

 

The one you cannot see but sees everything

[modelarz71]

Hello, I'm also trying to get back on escitalopram and buy all those low dose bottles and syringes and I've read this whole story. kind regards