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sophiaaa2

Hi everyone!

 

I feel now is the time for me to log out and move on. It’s been 16 months since my cold turkey, I’m no longer in dying hell with 100 or more symptoms or completely frightened on getting through the day, but there is still a little more healing to be done, both withdrawal & personal. I was so thankful that the nightmare (acute) period ended, it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced..

 

I feel more frustrated now rather than sick because once you feel more and more yourself and have done the bulk of the healing, but yet aren’t fully there, with a handful of things in the way. you can see and get glimpses of your life again in the short distance but can’t yet reach out to grab it. It’s tough, I’m hoping that with all that has changed up until now I’ll reach that destination very soon. (The pandemic plays a huge part here) Keep going! You’ll not even know how you’ve survived when things slowly start to lift. You’ll be proud of your strength and ability.

 

This needed to happen for me and shockingly I’m thankful for it, and I have learned so much about myself through it, I’m becoming the absolute best version of myself and can’t wait to have my life back, a step at a time. Now I just have the pain of grieving for all of the lost time, and some of the traumatic moments of this visit to hell.. I wish you all the best, have faith..

 

if I have any advice.. please if you’ve found this website before discontinuing, take on all of the great help and advice on tapering. I know I so wish I had that and this site before then. I’m going to leave now, thank you for giving me and so many others this space, it’s life saving.

 

this for me is already a success, I’m so much better and it’s time for me to close the chapter♥️

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

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  • sophiaaa2 changed the title to To hell and back (almost home…)
  • Go2zero changed the title to sophiaaa2: To hell and back (almost home…)
  • Moderator

Hi sophiaaa2,

 

So good to read your success story! Congratiolations. 

 

When I read your introduction thread and your success story it is clear that your positivism and your faith have brought you very much in the healing process. Great to read that this website has helped you also a lot. Personally I have the same experience. Without this website I was probably still struggling with too high reinstatements and changing meds...

 

I will lock your introductory thread for new posts. It will stay visible however.

 

Wish you all the best! 🙏

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

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MaryMoo429

@sophiaaa2 So happy to hear you have made it through to the other side. It definitely gives me hope and inspiration to keep moving forward. I wish you continued healing, love, light and laughter. 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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sophiaaa2

@MaryMoo429@Go2zero thank you so much.. keep going all of you. I have a few lingering things, that I know will fade out with more passing time. I do have one tip for everyone that reads this! As you go through this healing, reassess what you think the ending looks like. At first you’ll expect perfection and complete stability, but for me I only became more realistic with myself as it continued, that the end wouldn’t look completely perfect. That is when the real work starts, the personal stuff, inner healing and the growth after withdrawal. The rebuilding of your life. I’m about to turn 23, and I will make sure that I get these past few years of my life back.

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

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Nugget97

Hey @sophiaaa2 so happy to hear you have recovered or are nearly there. I’m nearly 8 months off lexapro and I saw in your intro you mentioned that you had intrusive thoughts? Please tell me they went! I’m dealing with bad intrusive thoughts and OCD the past couple of Months and they are so distressing. It doesn’t feel like me at all and these thoughts are just madness and so scary. I’m literally constantly questioning my sanity and scared I have some undiagnosed mental illness now because of withdrawal, it’s so frightening :( 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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MaryMoo429

@Nugget97 I know the feeling. It’s absolutely terrifying. Lexapro was my last psych med to come off of as well. 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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Nugget97

@MaryMoo429 I’m sorry you are also going through this. It’s so horrible I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Are you fully off it? If so how long? 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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MaryMoo429

@Nugget97 yes I am fully off. It will be a year in just a couple of weeks on September 14th. 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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Nugget97

@MaryMoo429 and what have your symptoms been like? Windows and waves? Worst ones?

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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MaryMoo429

@Nugget97 Check out my thread, I post pretty frequently about my symptoms. I’m still experiencing all of the ones I’ve listed there aside from the energy rushes in my chest when falling asleep. Those has pretty much subsided entirely and only happen once in a while (very, rarely now). 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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Nugget97

@MaryMoo429 just read your thread there. Glad to hear the energy rushes are gone. I have the exact same thing except they still are lingering. I only find they get worse when I’m sleeping alone. They are horrible. 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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  • 2 weeks later...
MaryMoo429

@Nugget97For me the better able I was to try and not let them frighten me, the less they affected me. It’s so hard to do though. Have they gotten any better?

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi @MaryMoo429 sorry I didn’t see this till now. There has been some days they have gotten better and some days they got worse again without me doing much either time. It shows I suppose that my brain is trying to get its act together. 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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Hi Sophia! How are you feeling now? I’m nearly 3 months off and feeling so much better then I was hit feel strange everyday day in the afternoon until evening, mornings are now fine! I feel emotionally weak and mentally vulnerable but in the mornings I feel like myself strong and normal? Is this anything like you felt at any stage in your journey? X

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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On 8/28/2021 at 11:03 PM, Nugget97 said:

Hey @sophiaaa2 so happy to hear you have recovered or are nearly there. I’m nearly 8 months off lexapro and I saw in your intro you mentioned that you had intrusive thoughts? Please tell me they went! I’m dealing with bad intrusive thoughts and OCD the past couple of Months and they are so distressing. It doesn’t feel like me at all and these thoughts are just madness and so scary. I’m literally constantly questioning my sanity and scared I have some undiagnosed mental illness now because of withdrawal, it’s so frightening :( 

They will come and go! But will fade out eventually, i found the more you get used to them the more control you have over them. Yes some of the content can be distressing but it helps to remember, you are not your thoughts, Especially right now! I also had spent months during this time telling myself, I had every mental illness possible, just try and keep your googling to a minimum. It’s maybe your brains way of trying to get answers to what is wrong with you and it’s somehow easier to blame this on undiagnosed mental illness than a drug withdrawal. I’m sure outside this experience your mental health will be ok. Just hang on

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

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On 9/27/2021 at 9:29 PM, Kate2301 said:

Hi Sophia! How are you feeling now? I’m nearly 3 months off and feeling so much better then I was hit feel strange everyday day in the afternoon until evening, mornings are now fine! I feel emotionally weak and mentally vulnerable but in the mornings I feel like myself strong and normal? Is this anything like you felt at any stage in your journey? X

Hi girl, I’m okay. For me, Stress can definitely give me some setbacks but after each time, I’m miles ahead again. I will be honest, it’s odd but there is a period that you feel quite good, before things do get even harder. the comparison from morning to nights is very real so just go easy on yourself. You got this!

6.5 Years on Antidepressants

 

50mg Sertraline (Zoloft) | November 2013 -  March 2019

20mg Fluoxetine (Prozac) | March 2019 - April 2020

 

Fast Taper, skipping days | over 3-4 weeks, Final Dose April 14th

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username001

Hi @sophiaaa2 did you have hearing difficulties during withdrawal? Struggling to understand what people say, hard to locate noises? 

 

2019-2020 Zoloft 200mg and Wellbutrin 150mg fast tapered off. 
2020  20mg Lexapro for 8 months, tapered to 15mg then 10mg then 5mg then 2.5 and then every other day. Fast tapered off of Lexapro.

-poor cognition-uneasy feeling -burning brain -people startle me -can’t read facial expressions-Brain fog-can’t detect emotion -can’t hear voice intonations -so many more

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