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Wow @KenA, what a great success! Congratulations! 

 

I am really touched and impressed with your positive way of dealing with withdrawal. I guess we can all learn from that!

 

Acceptance, changing thoughts, distracting, etc. are all such good things to support our healing. I really hope the we will help others here. You would be a great help with your attitude!

 

And I can say from experience that helping others here can be a beautiful to do!

 

I put her a link to your introductions thread and will close that one.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/22768-☼-kena-8-months-in-withdrawal-after-ct/

 

 

1993    Anafranil (Clomipramine) for a few months. Later in 1993 Paxil for a few months 1993- 2006      No medication

2006   Effexor, Cymbalta, some Benzo’s. All for short periods. Later in 2006 Lexapro (escitalopram) 10 mg and shortly after Wellbutrin XR 150mg, against side effects Lexapro 

Since 2006 until end of 2015: Several times on and off Lexapro and Wellbutrin and several slight dosage changes. Mostly taken dosages: 5mg Lexapro and 150mg Wellbutrin

2016  Dosage change Lexapro from 5mg to 2,5 mg. Wellbutrin stayed om 150mg

November 2016 – April 2017 Down from 2,5mg to 0,6mg Lexapro (in steps) without much problems. Wellbutrin down from 150mg to 66mg. Also without much problems.

April 2017 – March 2019       Lexapro 0,6 mg        April 2017 - August 2018       Wellbutrin in small steps down from 66mg in to 37,5 mg . Quite heavy WD after each step.

March 2019 – May 2019 Lexapro down from 0,6 to 0,3mg then Prozac to 0,6 mg switch because severe discontinuation effects (may also have been from Wellbutrin..)    

Wellbutrin down from 37,5mg to 35,3mg 

October 2019        Seroquel 12,5 mg for 4 weeks because of extreme sleeping problems, then weaning off in 2 weeks       Prozac up dosage to 1,2 mg

March 2020     Wellbutrin in 2 steps down from 35,3mg to 33,3mg   Extreme withdrawal affects during 8 months. Stopped tapering Wellbutrin  until total off Prozac. February 2020 – November 2020   Prozac down in steps from 1,2mg to 0,57mg. 

Jan 2021 Prozac down to:  0,55> 0,53>0,51mg,   Feb 0,47mg ,  Mar 0,42mg,   Apr 0,37, longer hold because of WD symptoms July 0,36 and hold again

 

Supplements: Fish Oil (3000mg), Magnesium 100 mg, 2 drops of Lavender Oil when feeling anxiety. 50mg of L-Theanine when severe discontinuation effects caused by Wellbutrin

 

Please note this is NOT a medical advice. Discuss all your medical issues with a doctor who understands psychical drugs and really knows how to withdraw from them. I wish that you will find one.

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Phoenixmama

@KenA thank you 🙏🏼 🥳🥳🥳🥳 

 

 

started celexa 10mg feb 2nd 

feb 25th took my last 10g

feb 26th took 5mg

feb 27th took 5mg 

feb 28th cold turkey 

currently taking mag

 

 

 

 

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@KenAWhat a wonderful success story, I’m so happy for you!! 🎉

Been on medication since 1999. Previous medications include Remeron, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.

 

Since 3/20 CT’ed MMJ, fast tapered 10mg Lexapro and 2mg Abilify (was on each for about a month) and tapered off 50 mg Amitriptyline. 

 

Klonopin: doses varied since 2001; currently on .5 mg

 

Supplements: Magnesium citrate: 250 mg; Fish oil: 1200 mg

 

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”  - Albert Einstein 

 

 

 

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Ken..heart warming,hopeful and very appreciated.

Thanks for your success story and taking the time to fill us in.

  •  1995 -1998 prozac 20 mg; unsuccessful C.T.
  • 1998-2004 paxil 10 mg ; unsuccessful C.T. 
  •  2004-current  lexapro 10 mg
  •  2009 added drug Wellbutrin 150mg, 2016  bupropian300 mg XL
  • 2019  start taper June-;alternated between 300 mg and 150 mg XL (as per PCP guidelines) until  reached daily bupropian 150 mg XL in December 2019
  • 2020 January-March skipping 1 -4 days in between 150 mg XL then crashed mid month March
  • 2020 March-April resumed skipping every 3 days
  • 2020 April 28 began splitting bupropion 75 mg HCL and taking 37.5 mg am &  pm
  • 2020 April discovered SA and the brassmonkey slide taper; making own pills now
  • 2020 June 10-71.3 mg bupropion HCL (2 pills daily -divided);July 10 -67.7 mg;August 9 -64.3;August 31-61.1;September 21-58.0; October 12-55.1; November 2-52.4 mg bupropion HCL;December 3-8 -49.8; reinstated December 9 -52.4mg,ALL ARE GENERIC
  • 2021 January 7 liquid taper of Wellbutrin done by compound pharmacist .
  • Same amount as before. Staying at 52.4 mg. HOLD.
  • 2021 January 29 liquid lexapro done by compound pharmacist.
  • 2021 February 4 began  taper at 10% 9.0mg. Held for a while.
  • 2021 June 14 resumed taper, 2.5% reduction, 8.8 mg.
  • 2021 June 28 2.5% reduction 8.6mg.
  • 2021 September 13 2.5% reduction 8.4 mg.
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Greatful

@KenA Congratulations ken, you are an inspiration to us all.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin 2016  ended back on 2016  Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  through 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  Trazadone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/16 ct

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   Magnesium glycinate 200mg. Omega 3 , Melatonin L Theanine 

Lexapro 2021/01/09 4.90mg  05/09  4.75mg   19/10  4.69mg

 

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Rejoicing with you!  You are such an inspiration!  Thank you for caring about others and wanting to help!

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

 

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jutland86

@KenA Congratulations! What a wonderful success story. I'm really happy for you. Hope that you will stick around

2010/2011-?: Citaloprapm 40mg, 30 and 20 mg

For the last couple of years: Citalopram 10 mg

Beginning may 2021: After advice from GP skipped doses (10 mg)

Mid may 2021: Went to 10 mg on one day and 5 the other day due to withdrawal

End may 2021: ~7,5 mg (Started cutting 10 mg in quarters to keep track of when to take what)

Beginning of june 2021: 7,5 mg (started on homemade liquid)

2021: Jul 7,5 mg, Aug 7,5

 

Suppl AM: Fish oil, NAC, Vit B Complex, multivitamin, vit D, ashwagandha

Suppl PM: Magnesium 200 mg, L-theanine 400 mg

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24975-jutland86-advice-for-a-guy-from-denmark-wanting-to-taper/

 

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Fromthenetherlands

Hi @KenA,

 

Congrats! Did you have cognitive issues and how did the improvement go? 

Citalopram augustus 2020 - 20 mg untill 14 february 2021 quit cold turkey. No alcohol use or other medicine. No surgery.  Only adviced supplements and little bit of vitamine D because of defficieny. 

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  • Go2zero changed the title to KenA: Finally Made It Through
woody1981

Congrats Ken,

So happy you are recovered and enjoying life again. Thanks also for the support mate, your a bloody legend. 🤙🏼

2009 - commenced Paxil 20mg for GAD, OCD. 2010 - switched to lexapro 10mg. 

2017 - straight swap to Prozac, day 4 developed tinnitus, insomnia, OCD, GAD symptoms, Reinstated 10mg lexapro, symptoms improve. 
Jan 2019 - Attempted “slower” taper for 3 months,  med free for 11 weeks and felt ok.

June 2019 - WD symptoms struck. 
July 2019-July 2020 multiple meds from psychiatrist inc:

lexapro up to 40mg for 12 weeks (tinnitus starts) 

Effexor up to 150mg for 7-8 weeks

Zoloft up to 100mg for 12 weeks 

Remeron 6 weeks 

Paxil to 20mg for 12 weeks 

Quick taper CT Paxil in 4 weeks and drug free since July 19, 2020. 

 

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Hernamoeg

 

Congratulations, Ken, and thank you very much for sharing your success story. It is such an inspirational one! I am so happy for you, you must be very proud of your achievement. I have taken notes of your advice so that I can read them whenever I need it -most of the time now as I am so scary and just starting this long way home-.

You are so generous wanting to help and offering to be there for other people like you, like us who are struggling or, in my case, who is lost and on my very first steps, trying to learn it all, reading, looking for information, browsing through the topics, getting used to the site, devoting all the time (the few moments) I get left to this urgent, most important task.

If only I could follow your path and example! Every word that speaks of hope and encouragement comes as a blessing, I find myself craving for them as nobody round me believes in my recovery. They take me for a lost case as I have been suffering for so long (since I was twelve, 55 now!!!).

Without the support you and others provide I think I would not even try. Convincing myself of the possibility of change, of getting better after all these years of suffering and medication is not that easy when everything and everyone seem to be playing against you!

 

I will read your introduction and follow your posts as long as you continue writing. Thank you again, thank you so much, your generosity speak wonders of you, I am sure life will reward you for it and your effort. My best wishes and congratulations again!😇😘

1979- ?: Tricyclic antidepressants and diazepam (can't remember which, quantity and the years  I was on them. Too young). Major - severe- "endogenous" depression.

1995-2021: Fluoxetine (80 mg first after many years experiencing bulimia  following anorexia nervosa; 60 mg daily now when the first subsided -since 2000-). Added venlaxafine and took it along with the fluoxetine for many years, too.  Sorry I can't be more precise. During a shorter period of time added also trazodone.

1995-2021: On and off various other drugs: Hypnotics (Rohipnol) and benzos: triazolam, diazepam, lorazepam,  bromazepam, clonazepam, alprazolam.

2010-2021: Alprazolam (starting off with 0.25 mg daily; now 3 mg daily). The most effective one.

2017-2021: Added Clonazepam (now 6 mg daily).

July 2021: Added Mirtazapine ( now 15 mg daily).

 

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JohnKross

Wow amazing Post !! Thanks for sharing Ken. All the best for you

2015-2017 Zoloft (gradually increased the dosage, don't remember the dosage though)

2017-2019 Effexor+Wellbutrin (125 mg Effexore + 150 mg Wellbutrin)

2019 Stopped all the medications and had PSSD (everything else is fine)

Currently taking only Fish Oil

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MaryMoo429

@KenA Congratulations and thanks for sharing your success story it was great to read. 

Prozac: 20-40mg from 2006-2019. Zoloft: 2003-2005 off and on. Adderall XR: 20-50mg (abused so took more than prescribed often) 2006-2016. Amphetamine Salts 2006-2016 10-20mg (abused). Ativan: 2009-2010 1mg. Suboxone 16mg sublingual strips 2013-2016. Vyvanse: mg? (abused) 2014-2015. Alprazolam: December 2018- June 2019 1-2mg (abused). Diazepam: June 2019-November 2019 mg? (used to taper me off of Xanax). Lexapro: 2018-2020 10-20mg. Mitrazapine 30mg: Nov 2019-May 2020 (tapered off over 3 months) Trintillex: May 2019-December 2019 (mg?). Hormonal birth control 2003-2019.

 

supplements (current):

Morning: 400mg L-Theanine, 375mg magnesium.

Night:  450mg Valerian Root, 2.5mg Melatonin 

 

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  • Mentor
On 8/27/2021 at 4:24 AM, Fromthenetherlands said:

Hi @KenA,

 

Congrats! Did you have cognitive issues and how did the improvement go? 

I did have some cognitive issues early on, but they had pretty much all resolved by the 1 year mark. It just took time for them to all resolve, but I'm happy to say they are all gone at this point :)

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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  • Mentor
On 8/29/2021 at 1:40 AM, Hernamoeg said:

 

Congratulations, Ken, and thank you very much for sharing your success story. It is such an inspirational one! I am so happy for you, you must be very proud of your achievement. I have taken notes of your advice so that I can read them whenever I need it -most of the time now as I am so scary and just starting this long way home-.

You are so generous wanting to help and offering to be there for other people like you, like us who are struggling or, in my case, who is lost and on my very first steps, trying to learn it all, reading, looking for information, browsing through the topics, getting used to the site, devoting all the time (the few moments) I get left to this urgent, most important task.

If only I could follow your path and example! Every word that speaks of hope and encouragement comes as a blessing, I find myself craving for them as nobody round me believes in my recovery. They take me for a lost case as I have been suffering for so long (since I was twelve, 55 now!!!).

Without the support you and others provide I think I would not even try. Convincing myself of the possibility of change, of getting better after all these years of suffering and medication is not that easy when everything and everyone seem to be playing against you!

 

I will read your introduction and follow your posts as long as you continue writing. Thank you again, thank you so much, your generosity speak wonders of you, I am sure life will reward you for it and your effort. My best wishes and congratulations again!😇😘

@Hernamoeg Thank you much! It was quite the long journey but it was well worth it!! I know that you are just getting started in your journey, but it's never too late. My best advice to you is to take it slow and be gentle with yourself. This is a very trying process, but I truly do believe that everyone is capable of doing this and making it through!! 55 is never to late! Just try to stay as positive as you possibly can. I promise it helps! Try and keep living your life as best you can! I know it can be hard, but I personally kept working and doing things with my family no matter what. I refused to give up living. I did have to take it a bit easier, but that was ok. I don't know alot about tapering as I CT quit everything, but if you need any general advise or encouragement don't hesitate to reach out!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Nugget97

Hey @KenA your story really inspires me. I constantly read it when I’m in a wave. Thank you for sharing it and wishing you the best. Just a quick question. I saw that you mentioned that all your mental symptoms eventually completely went, did you have withdrawal OCD? I started to develop this around month 4 when the dark intrusive thoughts started popped in and I’m just worried about it, I’m OCD about every thought I have now and my thoughts don’t seem like my own at all they can be very distressing. 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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  • Mentor

@Nugget97 Glad to hear that my story is helping to keep you inspired and going on :) As for your question, I had a bit of what you might call OCD, but it really wasn't that major for me. Mostly just worrying about a symptom here or there until I learned acceptance. I def can relate to those dark intrusive thoughts. I remember how horrible they were, but you have to remember that they are just thoughts. You do not have to act on them at all. If you just let them come and go, then they will lose the power over you that they have. They truly can be frightening when you have them, but just reassure yourself that they are not thoughts you would have if you were healthy, so chalk them up to just another wd symptom and know that they will all go away one day! This all is just temporary my friend and we just have to keep on going until the day we are healed!! You are doing amazing, so keep it up!! You are going to be ok!! Just keep going and going until you are healed!! You can do this and you know it! 

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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On 8/31/2021 at 10:34 PM, KenA said:

@Nugget97 Glad to hear that my story is helping to keep you inspired and going on :) As for your question, I had a bit of what you might call OCD, but it really wasn't that major for me. Mostly just worrying about a symptom here or there until I learned acceptance. I def can relate to those dark intrusive thoughts. I remember how horrible they were, but you have to remember that they are just thoughts. You do not have to act on them at all. If you just let them come and go, then they will lose the power over you that they have. They truly can be frightening when you have them, but just reassure yourself that they are not thoughts you would have if you were healthy, so chalk them up to just another wd symptom and know that they will all go away one day! This all is just temporary my friend and we just have to keep on going until the day we are healed!! You are doing amazing, so keep it up!! You are going to be ok!! Just keep going and going until you are healed!! You can do this and you know it! 

 

Ken

Hi @KenA thank you so much for your reply and your reassurance. I really appreciate it. The thoughts and the OCD surrounding these thoughts is hard to deal with but I’m surviving. Did yours pop up from the beginning or did you develop them a couple of months into withdrawal? I never had mine from the beginning it was around month 5 just as I was getting better and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel that they started to creep in slowly. Now it’s like they have nearly taken over me. If I didn’t have them I know I’d be 90% healed because the thoughts cause me to have physical anxiety and crying spells which is the worst. It’s all just mental for me now. 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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  • Mentor

@Nugget97Of course my friend! I know how hard those runaway mental thoughts can be. They can get to be overwhelming at times for sure. For me, they really didn't develop until later on. The first 6 months or so were mostly a lot of physical problems with just it being hard to concentrate and some memory issues. The emotional and other mental stuff didn't start for me till probably around 6-7 months. That's when the really hard stuff started. The anxiety and depression and the dark thoughts really hit me hard at that time and lasted a good 6-7 more months before those really started to fade away. Just remember this is all temporary my friend. It will come and go, but eventually it will go away for good. Till then just take it one day at a time and remember that you are healing!! These symptoms are a side effect of our healing brains! You've got this!

 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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2 hours ago, KenA said:

@Nugget97Of course my friend! I know how hard those runaway mental thoughts can be. They can get to be overwhelming at times for sure. For me, they really didn't develop until later on. The first 6 months or so were mostly a lot of physical problems with just it being hard to concentrate and some memory issues. The emotional and other mental stuff didn't start for me till probably around 6-7 months. That's when the really hard stuff started. The anxiety and depression and the dark thoughts really hit me hard at that time and lasted a good 6-7 more months before those really started to fade away. Just remember this is all temporary my friend. It will come and go, but eventually it will go away for good. Till then just take it one day at a time and remember that you are healing!! These symptoms are a side effect of our healing brains! You've got this!

 

You have no idea how reassuring this is to hear!! I was always an overthinker so I’m constantly like maybe my overthinking has just developed into this and this is just me, not withdrawal. It is sometimes so hard to not think about the fact that this is just me now but you have given me so much hope! And of course it is withdrawal I was never even remotely like this before! I even find myself avoiding certain movies or things to avoid being triggered and my mind to start going crazy! Like you it was mostly physical stuff at the beginning as well as crying spells. But since month 6/7 the mental symptoms have completely taken over. It’s now been 2 and a half months of this. Your success story is one of my favourites and I keep reading it over and over again. I can’t wait to get back to my old self. Thank you so much again! 

October 26th Escitalopram/lexapro 10mg (2 days)

October 28th Escitalopram/lexapro 5mg 

December 4th Escitalopram/lexapro 2.5mg 

December 21st Escitalopram/lexapro 0mg 

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Congrats!!! and Thank you. My prayer is soon to be added my success story.💙

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  • Mentor

Screenshot_20210912-210934~2.png

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Love it!!

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

 

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2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Lol so true!

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

 

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Kate2301

Ken, thank you for taking the time to come back and help us all but posting your positive words! 
I read your story over and over again, I have it saved in my phone and when I hit a wave (like now) I go to it, it’s almost like a comfort blanket!

I’m 3 months off and was gradually doing better and better with a strange feeling in the afternoons, hard to explain but just felt weird yesterday however I woke at 4am with a racing mind and heart pumping so fast, felt like it all day yesterday and didn’t sleep again last night because of it, I wondered if you ever had a set back like this that you got over and felt better? I’ve read that the bad waves can be the majority of healing but would love to hear if you had this and if you felt more healed afterwards? I’m struggling today it’s knocked me back after slowly feeling like I was improving 😢

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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9 hours ago, Kate2301 said:

Ken, thank you for taking the time to come back and help us all but posting your positive words! 
I read your story over and over again, I have it saved in my phone and when I hit a wave (like now) I go to it, it’s almost like a comfort blanket!

I’m 3 months off and was gradually doing better and better with a strange feeling in the afternoons, hard to explain but just felt weird yesterday however I woke at 4am with a racing mind and heart pumping so fast, felt like it all day yesterday and didn’t sleep again last night because of it, I wondered if you ever had a set back like this that you got over and felt better? I’ve read that the bad waves can be the majority of healing but would love to hear if you had this and if you felt more healed afterwards? I’m struggling today it’s knocked me back after slowly feeling like I was improving 😢

Hey there,

Im so glad that im able to help you out and my story gives you strength!! 

Sadly yes, there were soooooo many times that i would have long extended windows and truly would feel like I had made it. I thought this must be the end, only to get hit by a massive wave that knocked me on my butt. It would take my breath away at how strong they would be. I would think to myself wow, I thought I was almost done. But yes, once they passed I felt even better afterwards. Its like in the beginning our brains are doing lots of smaller fixes to try and stabilize us, but then it has to get to the harder fixes that can feel like we havent healed at all. But just remember we are always healing. Sadly non-linear healing is completely unpredictable and we just have to ride it out!! Just keep taking it one day at a time. When that next window comes it is gonna be sweet relief!! Youve got this for sure!! 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Happy2Heal

Congratulations Ken!!
 

what a fantastic success story and what awesome advice, so clearly written and 100% based on my experience, anyway

 

So glad you made it, and so glad you wrote about it!! 

 

If I ever have a bad day, even though I've made it to the other side myself, I will come back and read your post here.

 

A lot of it can apply to just about any rough time in life, really.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
  • Aug 2021, loving life ❤️ 
 
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Kate2301

Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and reply to me. I often think to myself when I’m through all this will i mentally be able to come back and help others or will I be too weak to be able to talk about it, I guess you are proof that it’s possible! I really want to be able to help other people when I can!

im still in the wave, woke again this morning and as soon as my eyes opened the thoughts transfixed on my situation and my mind started to go crazy, didn’t have this for 2 weeks and remember blissfully laying in bed relaxed and taking in the sounds of the birds outside my window! Can’t wait for this to go but I guess I have to view it as healing time, my body is working hard to recover right 🤔

thank you again, words like yours catapult me forward and it’s what I try harder to think about when I do wake, it sure helps! 😊

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

Congratulations Ken!!
 

what a fantastic success story and what awesome advice, so clearly written and 100% based on my experience, anyway

 

So glad you made it, and so glad you wrote about it!! 

 

If I ever have a bad day, even though I've made it to the other side myself, I will come back and read your post here.

 

A lot of it can apply to just about any rough time in life, really.

 

Thank you so much my friend!! I have found that this whole experience really did change my outlook on life!! Just staying positive and accepting everything that life throws our way can truly help us through any hard times we face!!

Edited by KenA

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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14 hours ago, Kate2301 said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and reply to me. I often think to myself when I’m through all this will i mentally be able to come back and help others or will I be too weak to be able to talk about it, I guess you are proof that it’s possible! I really want to be able to help other people when I can!

im still in the wave, woke again this morning and as soon as my eyes opened the thoughts transfixed on my situation and my mind started to go crazy, didn’t have this for 2 weeks and remember blissfully laying in bed relaxed and taking in the sounds of the birds outside my window! Can’t wait for this to go but I guess I have to view it as healing time, my body is working hard to recover right 🤔

thank you again, words like yours catapult me forward and it’s what I try harder to think about when I do wake, it sure helps! 😊

Of course!! That's exactly what a wave is my friend! A period of healing time!! And healing time is good!! No matter how hard it seems to be, it's a good thing. Shows we are always getting better and better and your brain and CNS are doing what they need to do to get you healed!!! You are gonna be just fine for sure!!! I truly do believe that everyone heals, it just takes us different amounts of time, but you are gonna be ok for sure!! Keep riding that wave until you reach the shore, and look through that beautiful window!! 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Fightinghard

@KenAHello My Friend!  It’s great to see this! I’m happy for you!  I’ve been away from this forum for awhile trying to get myself back on track after my major set back with melatonin.  I’m still struggling but slowly improving. It’s been a battle. This site became very triggering to me but now it’s better.  Not sure why what was triggering. Anyway, I’m very happy for you.  I’m hoping and praying  that I’ll be on my way soon not too far behind!    

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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@Fightinghard Glad to hear that you are starting to see some improvement my friend! I know it's been a long hard journey, but you are doing amazing!! Just keep taking it one day at a time until you get there my friend!! You will get there I know it!!

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thank you so much KenA, your words are currently getting me through the days! I hope one day I can come back here and help people as you are!

I’m now experiencing hours of good and hours where my mind suddenly goes more panicky and anxious and a few hours later I feel more relaxed again and happier, I’m finding I sleep lovely at the moment I wake feeling good and about 2 hours later I start to feel weird and panicked and overwhelmed and that lasts about 5 hours and later in the day I start to feel a bit better and can eat and relax again, would you say this is a wave and my mind healing? I always read about people having windows that last days and waves that last days or weeks but mine seems to change daily so it worries me that this is me and now WD? However I never felt anything like this before AD?! I thank you again for supporting me and all these people, I read over your words whenever I am feeling bad again! 😊

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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On 10/12/2021 at 5:36 AM, Kate2301 said:

Thank you so much KenA, your words are currently getting me through the days! I hope one day I can come back here and help people as you are!

I’m now experiencing hours of good and hours where my mind suddenly goes more panicky and anxious and a few hours later I feel more relaxed again and happier, I’m finding I sleep lovely at the moment I wake feeling good and about 2 hours later I start to feel weird and panicked and overwhelmed and that lasts about 5 hours and later in the day I start to feel a bit better and can eat and relax again, would you say this is a wave and my mind healing? I always read about people having windows that last days and waves that last days or weeks but mine seems to change daily so it worries me that this is me and now WD? However I never felt anything like this before AD?! I thank you again for supporting me and all these people, I read over your words whenever I am feeling bad again! 😊

@Kate2301What you are describing sounds like the typical waves and windows pattern. Feeling good, then bam, the wave hits, then it passes and you feel good again. That is a good sign. Just means that your brain is working on what needs to get fixed. Eventually the pattern will settle down, where the waves and windows last longer, but the intensity levels out. In the beginning my waves and window pattern was very similar to yours, but then mine would settle down into the long windows (5-10 days), then longer waves (2-3 days) but the waves were way less intense and more annoying than anything. Just remember that none of this is really predictable. Everyone has to go through WD the way that their brain and CNS determine. Sadly there is no magic recipe or standard we can count on. I learned to honestly expect the unexpected. That way I was never disappointed when it didn't go my way. Because I would honestly think to myself sometimes "oh boy I'm gonna get a window soon" and it wouldn't happen when I wanted. I would get upset because of that, so I eventually learned to just ride it out. Once I truly started to accept things, it got a lot easier. You are gonna be ok I promise!! This process does have an end to it!! One day you will be healed and able to move through life with a confidence that you've never known!! Stay strong and take it day by day!! You've got this and you know it!!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thank you so much Ken, i had a bad 2 hours yesterday evening but woke feeling ok again and I’ve been out and about all day, I’m finding when I’m properly distracted I feel a lot more like myself and when I try to sit down and relax by myself it gets a hold of me. My main symptoms when in a wave is ruminating thoughts about WD? Did you have this at all? And if so did it go? It’s my worst symptom I think just worrying and thinking about WD and if il be free one day so it makes my brain feel unclear and stressed if that makes sense. I find it hard to relax and just chill out and watch tv, is that normal? 

I thank you again, you definitely have amazing way with words and making me and probably many others feel better 😊

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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