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  • Mentor

@Kate2301 Yup, ruminating thoughts are completely normal while going through wd. Those thoughts would occupy my mind for hours upon hours for probably a good year or more. The further and further I got along in the process, the less and less they happened. Eventually they would come and go occassionally. As you get to feeling better and better the thoughts start to go away and will stay gone. I used to call them my OCD thoughts lol. But like everything else, they eventually went away!! The best way I found to deal with them was to distract myself constantly. I was always keeping my mind and my hands occupied until it was time to go to bed. I tried to make sure I never sat around with nothing to do. What's the old expression idle hands are the devils playground? Just remember like everything else you are going through, it's all temporary!! One day you will be a better version of yourself than ever before and able to enjoy living again. Till then, just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself :) You are gonna be ok :)

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Ken…… what can I say apart from thank you, thank you and thank you again!

I took my 2 year old to a farm / playground today and felt great then started to feel strange again, no reason for it, just the usual weirdness that comes and goes but I kept thinking of the words you write above and it helped so much more then you will ever know, within an hour I was back running around with her. You honestly do have a great way with words and it’s given me so much more strength. I just wanted to ask, are you at a point now where you can relax again and sit and watch tv if you like? I am finding the distraction helps, I do anything and everything all day, if I’m not working on my laptop I’m doing housework or home improvements to gardening and walking, the only thing I can’t do comfortably yet is watch tv in the day and sit down and have a coffee or a cup of tea and just relax, I start to feel and think weirdly again and back up I am trying to think of something to do, I just wondered if that eventually goes too? I used to enjoy reading a book or watching my favourite programme while the baby sleeps in the afternoon, now I can’t wait for her to get up to keep me busy 🙄 but it’s exhausting! 
thank you again Ken and I hope your enjoying your weekend.

I think I’ve felt a further improvement this weekend which feels amazing, but you have definitely helped that I feel!

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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  • Mentor

@Kate2301You are most welcome my friend!!! Just remember that no matter what we are going through, it will always come to an end at some point. Every wave has an end to it and it makes the windows sooooo much sweeter!!! The way that healing works can be so crazy and unpredictable. I truly do remember getting symptoms that would come on for an hour or two, then fade away for a few hours, only to return later on. Just shows that our brains are constantly trying to get everything balanced out and while we are healing it truly can be a battle of the extremes!

I can actually sit and enjoy TV. In fact my wife and I will watch TV together every evening before bed, and I will also watch TV shows with my children as well. There was a period of time, that I had to constantly keep myself distracted and busy with different projects, but as more and more time went by, I was able to relax more and enjoy just being at peace. But yes, it all does go away. The ruminating thoughts, the anxiety, depression, all of it. Once your brain heals and has everything back in balance again, you will be able to enjoy all the things you used to do again. One of my favorite things to do is read, and I wasn't able to do that for almost a year and a half. But now I can sit down with a good book and read for an hour or more. Things will slowly get better and better. It doesn't happen at a pace that we want it to happen, but it does happen nonetheless. We just have to be patient and let the healing happen!!! Keep on going and going my friend!! And always remember that this is non-linear healing, so if you feel worse for a little while, just remember that it is healing. It's a good thing. Just means your brain will be even more healed the next window we get!!!

You are doing amazing!! Just keep going and going until you reach the finish line. As my boss used to always tell me, Just Keep Swimming Ken, Just Keep Swimming!!

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thank you again Ken. I hope you had someone helping you with words such as these when you were struggling.

I look back at how I was a year ago and I couldn’t even talk, I couldn’t go to a shop alone I thought I had lost my mind, I didn’t eat sleep or think straight at all so I know I’m heading in the right direction but because it feels like it’s been so long it’s so hard to stay focused.

I think my main worry is now that I don’t seem to be having any huge waves it’s more that each day I feel “strange” just weird thinking and repetitive thoughts about WD and my emotions are all over the place then one day comes when that all feels a lot worse and the anxiety ramps up then it goes again and I go back to feeling weird but not as bad. Does that make sense?? It’s started to make me feel is this it?? Maybe these aren’t windows and waves Maybe this is my brain now? As I don’t seem to be experiencing the definitive window and wave pattern I just feel weird for about 5 days (but can eat and sleep ok still) but still don’t feel like my brain is my own yet, then I have a day or two where I feel a lot worse and it goes?! I hear of people feeling “good and great” in a window and “normal” but I don’t feel that properly just better then I do in a wave? I hope this can still mean it’s WD and not as far as my brain can heal! 🙏

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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  • Mentor

Of course Kate! I was very fortunate to have met a former survivor who had made it through to complete healing after almost 4 years. She kinda took me under her wing and helped me through each and every day when I needed her. I still talk to her to this day, and I truly was blessed to have someone like that in my life. It's good that you can look back and see the progress you have made. A lot of people don't do that. They harp on how bad they are still feeling instead of seeing how far they have come. For me, I kept track of everything in a journal so I could go back and see the improvements I was making. I noticed it was a very very slow process, but overtime the symptoms diminished and the good got better and better. The healing is very non-linear so sometimes I would feel like I took a huge step backwards, but usually once I got through that, I felt even better the next time. Sounds to me you are in what I call the groundhog day phase. I went through that for a good 4 - 5 months. Felt like I wasn't really having any more bad days, but was still not feeling very good either. And it would drag on for days at a time. Then I would feel good for a day or 2, then back to the groundhog day. But it did eventually go away until the point where I was having good days almost every day. But it was a slow gradual process. It wasn't overnight or quick for sure!! Just have to keep giving it more and more time!!! You are gonna get there at some point!! 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thank you Ken, your words make so much sense and as I read them it’s like they fit into place with how I’ve been feeling, perfectly.

I guess it’s just time time and more time! I do often look back at how I was to how I am and I guess when I used to have a wave I couldn’t even function, I wouldn’t be able to talk and everyone around me knew “something was wrong with me” now I can hide it, it’s awful but I carry on through it And it’s like nobody would know how I was feeling so I must be getting better to be able to do that, as much as I hate it!

 

I've worried recently that my extremely bad reaction to sertraline last year has permanently damaged me, I still can’t believe looking back that I continued to take it for 8 weeks! I rang the doctors EVERYDAY as I was in such a state, Covid had just started and we had just gone into lockdown so couldn’t see a doctor and everytime I rang even though I was saying “ I’m having suicidal thoughts taking these and can’t sleep can’t eat can’t talk properly” I was violently shaking on the bathroom floor, they said to continue to take it as it will get better, after 8 weeks another doctor said to abruptly stop! I worry that the trauma caused to my brain back then will be permanent I feel so sorry for my own body to have to go through that! Just after having a baby too!

I hope my brain is strong enough and resilient enough to reviver fully, I didn’t have a clue about any of this so after that I obviously went into WD which was ten times worse then what this is now so I thought I had lost my mind and let them put me on Mirtazapane, now I feel like this is round 2 so already feels like 2 years! 😢 and my baby is only 2! 
 

I thank you again Ken, your efforts in helping people like me are priceless and I can never thank you enough! 

 

Sertraline 100mg (1 day) then 50mg for 8 weeks March 2020 - May 2020 bad reaction, no medications until October 2020 mirtazapine October 2020 until 7th July 2021 didn’t realise I was in sertraline WD during this time also started natural progesterone January 2021 and started supplements to reduce cortisol and oestrogen April 2021 also Metformin as has insulation resistance not sure if to still take this currently on no medications  

 

 

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  • Mentor

That truly is the secret to this all my friend!! Time time and more time!! We just have to wait for our brains to heal. There is no magic solution or anything that is gonna make it happen quicker. There are things we can do to help make it a bit easier, like distraction and exercise!! Progress is very very slow for sure, but it's always happening! Each day that we make it through more healing has gotten done in our brains and it is neurons that are now fixed!! I truly do believe that everyone heals given enough time!! I read a survivor story once of someone who took an extremely long time to heal, but he did eventually heal!! Just have to take each day as best as you can, and accept as best as you possibly can!! Yes, the symptoms suck, but they are not gonna kill you. And that is all that matters!! Just keep hanging on until you get there!! That's the secret, just keep hanging on and never ever give up!! You can do this I know it!! You are doing amazing so far, just keep it up :)

 

 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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  • 2 months later...

Hey @KenA, I want to congratulate you on making it through to the other side and getting your life back!  Also, I want to thank you for staying with us and taking the time to respond to everyone with your amazing positivity and encouragement!

 

This is my 2nd time going through WD from the same drug (unknowingly), but this time I'm also going through benzo WD too and have completely different life situations, so although some things are similar, it doesn't feel like I really have my previous recovery as a solid base of reassurance to stand on.  I'm 8 months out from the CT Venlafaxine, only 3.5 months out from a 50% cut of my benzo, and I'm reading your threads on a daily basis now to help me get through the days!

 

Thanks again for being here and being so awesome!  I hope you're continuing to thrive and enjoying life in 2022!

2013 - Jan 4, 2021 - Sertraline 50mg 

Jan 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (1/4)

Feb 2021 Mar 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg

April 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg, Amitriptyline 2mg (4/20), Clonazepam 2mg

May 2021 - Venlafaxine 75mg (5/16 - 0mg), Amitriptyline (5/1 - 1mg, 5/16 - 0mg), Clonazepam 2mg

Aug 2021 - Sertraline 25mg (re 8/20), Clonazepam 2mg 

Sep 2021 - Sertraline 50mg (up 9/3), Clonazepam (9/29 - 1mg), Diazepam (9/29 - 2.5mg)

Oct 2021 - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (10/14 - 0.9mg, 10/24 - 1mg), Diazepam (10/6 - 1.25mg, 10/14 - 0mg), Trazodone (10/03 - 50mg, 10/17 - 25mg, 10/21 - 12.5mg), Mirtazapine (10/17 - 15mg)

Nov 2021 : Current - Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam (4/22 - 0.975mg, 5/22 - 0.9125mg, co 6/22 - 0.25mg, co 8/22 - 0.5mg, co 1/23 - 0.25mg),

Diazepam (co 6/22 - 12mg, 7/22 - 11mg, co 8/22 - 5mg, 9/22 - 4mg, 10/22 - 3mg, 11/22 - 2mg, 12/22 - 1mg, co 1/23 - 5mg), Trazodone 12.5mg, Mirtazapine 15mg

 

Supplements: 1/2 Multivitamin, Fish Oil 2000mgProbioticMagnesium Chelate 280mg, Vit C 500mg. Melatonin 5mg/3mgXR

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  • Mentor

@Knosretep Thank you so much! It truly has been quite the journey for over 2 years now, but wow, what a life changing experience it was. I'm just glad that I'm able to help others and remind everyone that staying positive truly does help in this process!!! It's so easy to get caught up in the negative of everything and how bad we can feel from this, but just knowing that there is an end to all of this!! That one day everyone will be healed!! That's what truly matters!!


I'm sorry to hear that you are having to go through this again. I know how hard that has to be, but just know that you made it through the first time so you can do it again!! You have a strength within you that is only going to get stronger and make you so much more resilient than you even were before. That which does not kill us shall only make us stronger!! You are going to come through this with flying colors and have such a wonderful future ahead of you!!! 

 

Life only gets better and better my friend!! Each day that we are alive truly is a blessing and we just have to keep smiling through it all! No matter what life throws our way, just take it all in stride and keep pushing forward!!! 

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey @KenA,

 

I don't think I ever saw this. I'm really glad that you've made it. You're right about time, and acceptance; it's so hard to say that to people right at the start, and myself included found it hard to comprehend that there was nothing else/downplayed the importance of it, but it's all there is. I think time is needed in some cases, to be mindful of what brought you to this experience in the first place, and to work past it. Rooting for you, and looking forward to stopping by in either your thread, or seeing you in mine at some point in the future, and I'll be hoping and praying for continued healing.

 

You've been, and are a massive inspiration!
 

Icip.

 

Early September 2019 - One 25mg dose of Sertraline taken.

Early October 2019 - Five 25mg doses (pills) of Sertraline taken for five consecutive days.

Withdrawal/reaction happened on the 27th of October (2019) in the evening.

Symptoms that have gone: Joint and muscle pain/weakness in my legs, phantom senses, chemical dread, chemical fear, DP/DR has gotten a lot lot better than what it is now, it was one of my worst and all-encompassing symptoms when it started, awful aphasia, parkinsonism, head pressure, pressure in my frontal lobe when trying to think/work out something, inability to plan or execute anything//feelings of being literally scatterbrained, inability to think in my head other than slight acknowledgements - the voice in my head sounded weak and 'small' like it was restrained to a much smaller area of my brain, constant fatigue, emotional numbness, constant eyestrain, and changes in perception of colour/contrast in sight.

Main remaining symptoms: Visual Snow/HPPD, derealisation, tinnitus, and brain/cog fog.

Drug free.

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  • Mentor
On 1/25/2022 at 10:44 PM, Icip said:

Hey @KenA,

 

I don't think I ever saw this. I'm really glad that you've made it. You're right about time, and acceptance; it's so hard to say that to people right at the start, and myself included found it hard to comprehend that there was nothing else/downplayed the importance of it, but it's all there is. I think time is needed in some cases, to be mindful of what brought you to this experience in the first place, and to work past it. Rooting for you, and looking forward to stopping by in either your thread, or seeing you in mine at some point in the future, and I'll be hoping and praying for continued healing.

 

You've been, and are a massive inspiration!
 

Icip.

 

Hey @Icip

 

Great to hear from you my friend! It's been a while!!! I did check in on your thread and see that you have been doing better lately!! That is awesome my friend!! Just remember that you are gonna get there as well! I will be reading your success story and rooting for you as well!! Yep, it truly is just a time thing. Like all those who have healed before us have said, the secret to this truly is just time. At 28 months now and things only get better and better!!! I have learned that healing will always continue to happen!! As long as we are breathing we are always healing :) You have also been a great inspiration to me as well! You were one of the first people to reach out to me when I first joined the forums and I will always remember that!!

 

Wishing the best for you as well my friend!! Keep those prayers coming!! They always help!!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Ken, this topic is one that I find myself coming back to. I read this topic over and over before I made an account. It gives me hope in a time where it is hard to find. I am going through the worst hell imaginable, but this makes me believe there is another side. I cannot thank you enough for this. 

 

Jordan

Lexapro 5mg July 2nd 2021-November 26th 2021 (briefly went up to 10mg for two weeks in August but had a bad reaction)

Tapering schedule:

4mg 10 days

2.50mg 10 days

1.25 mg 10 days

0 mg as of December 27th, 2021

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  • Mentor

@jordan499 Glad that you reached out!! That is awesome that the experience I went through is helping you with yours. I know how hard it can be to be in the thick of it and going through the healing, but you are gonna make it for sure!!! Welcome to the forums! You have found a place here where those of us going through this are here for each other and can support one another!! Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or need support. 

 

I can promise you that yes, this "hell" will one day come to a finish. Everything that you are going through is temporary and will end one day!! There truly is another side for all of us and i can tell you it's well worth the journey!! Keep on pushing through and just remember that every day you get through is one less ahead of you!!! You are gonna find a strength in you that you never knew you had and you are gonna be so strong for it!!! Just keep on going and going!!

 

You've got this and you know it for sure!!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Hello @KenA,

 

I’m from Germany, so sorry for my bad English, I’m not a native speaker.

But anyways, thank you so much for sharing your story and your experience to others, it helps so much to know, that this is just I matter of time and that we all will heal.

 

The last 7 and a half months have been the worst of my life, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. But it's getting better. It's very slow and definitely not linear... but it's getting better. It’s sometimes really strange, the last couple of days my mind tells me: “Life is so good and makes fun.. all your symptoms will go away..”

Sometimes i have the feeling, that my mood changes the "light", how i see the world. When it's almost normal, the world is bright and wonderful. And when the waves kicks in, it's grey and dark.  But in the past, before i took those **** pills, the world was the most time bright and wonderful. 

It's kind of funny: I remember, when the depression kickt in ( 3 month after 0), I turned the light to full brightness, because i didn't had any idea how to deal with this.. or what this is. I just tought: WTF, life can't feel this way.

 

And then everything gets “flat” again.. And then again I’m am feeling better again. But this is how withdrawal works. Waves and windows, waves and windows.

But I see that the waves are getting better very slowly and the windows are getting longer and better!

 

 

 

Have you ever been scared that strange new symptoms will come out of nowhere?

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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  • Mentor

@jonah2001 Hey there! Your english is great my friend! Not a problem at all! Very glad to hear that my story is helping you and keeping you motivated and moving forward!!! It truly is just a matter of time for sure!! That is the one major secret I learned from all of this. Time heals all wounds!! This is just a temporary moment of your life that one day will be behind you and you will be able to see how you made it through! I honestly had so many strange symptoms come and go that I eventually just got used to what ever would come my way. When something new would come along I would just shrug my shoulders and move on because 99 percent of the time it was just another WD symptom. If it makes you feel better then def have a dr check you out, but all the times I would go to my dr, they could never find anything wrong. It was always just WD symptoms and they always went away on their own!!

 

7 months truly is early in the process, but wow, that is an amazing accomplishment!! 7 months that is now behind you and you won't have to do again. 7 months of healing!! There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel, we just have to keep navigating it until we see the light. The non-linear healing aspect of this truly does throw us for a loop, because we are so used to normal healing where we slowly but surely get better. But with this, it's better, worse, better, terrible, amazing, bad and so on and so on. The good news is that you are slowly but surely getting better each and every single day. The thoughts that you are having are completely normal my friend! I had terrible intrustive thoughts throughout this process, but I can assure you that they will go away and not come back. What you are describing is exactly how the windows and waves work for sure. As more and more time goes by, you will get more windows of feeling good and less waves of feeling bad. You just have to keep pushing through the waves until they pass because I can promise you that they always pass!! The rain comes to an end and the sun shines again!! 

 

Keep on riding those waves my friend!! I used to always say that I would pull out my surf board and ride those waves until I reached the shore!! As more and more time goes by you will get better and better. Don't fear the waves my friend!! That is when we are getting the healing done!! Welcome those waves and let the healing happen!! You are doing amazing, just keep on going and going for as long as it takes!!

 

You've for sure got this and you know it!! 

 

Ken

 

 

Edited by KenA
spelling

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thank you so much for your answer @KenA.

Yeah, i also believe that every day goes by, it's one day more of heeling! 

But thank you so much for your posts!! It helps so much and is kind of a reinsurance that I will get better.

That last 8 days where the best I had since 0!. It was so wonderful, everything felt so good and boom the wave hits again! But this is sadly how withdrawal works. But compared to a few months ago 8 days where a very long time. Few months ago, maximum where a few hours or minutes.   

But this process is how it is: A piece of ****. But the real enemy is not my brain. It’s this poison called Duloxetine. My brain is only doing it’s best to recover from those.  

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@KenA 

 

I have to write again: 

 

The last weeks it's sometimes really strange my symptoms come and go in a frequency of 30 minutes. So it's like 30 minutes energy than fatigue again. 30 minutes my mind is positive and than says withdrawal will never end. dizziness for 15 minutes and than feeling normal again.. 

Did you experienced something similar? 

 

Jonah 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@KenA 

Also I have an other question. 

You said that you experienced fatigue. 

How long it lasts and when it got better?

 

For me it is: I wake up and then I get so fatigue all I want is to lay down again.. this is really annoying. 

 

Thank you so much for answering all our questions, it helps so much hearing of somebody who has gone through all of this!! 

 

It's helps so much in the hardest time of our lives!

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@jonah2001

Hey there. Yep, those waves and windows can come and go at such random times. The ups and downs can last for minutes, or they can last for hours. When our brains are working on fixing things, sometimes it can be very quickly or it can take a very long time. I would have symptoms that would come and go just as quickly as you are describing. Usually for me it was physical symptoms that would do that, but occasionally mental ones would do the same. As far as fatigue, yep, I had that for quite a long time. Probably a good 9-10 months or so. It was such a slow improvement that I really couldn't say when it went away except that I would notice that I could do more and more physical activities and I wouldn't get as tired out as I would before. For me it was yardwork that made me notice. The first summer during WD I would struggle to mow my yard and have to take many many breaks. But the second summer during WD I would notice that I could mow the yard and maybe only needed one or two breaks. I had more stamina and energy to do things. So I really can't say when it got better, it was just one of those things that ever so slowly got better over time!! 

 

On the days where the fatigue takes you, it's ok to just take it easy. Do what you can on the good days, and on the hard days, just rest and take it easy. It's ok to take it slow during this time of healing. One day you will be healed and able to do anything you want, but until then, don't be hard on yourself if you can't do everything you want. Just remember that all of this is temporary and one day it will be gone and we will be 100 percent healed :) Till then, just take it one day at a time and just do the best you can. My mom always told me "Do your best and forget the rest" Sometimes the best we can do is lay in bed and just breathe. Some days we survive and somedays we thrive!! But they are all good days!! On the hard ones is where we are getting the most healing done :) You've got this!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Hey Ken, 

first of all, thank you so much for your answer.

It helps so much, hearing from somebody who has gone through this hell! 

Sometimes i wish there was a time Machine, to skip this ****. Or at least, a a look into the future.. how it will be in 8 month or so.. 

 

How did your symptoms get better over time? Was it more like the waves got better until you didn't noticed the wave anymore?

 

Or was it more like: You got the good times more and more and the bad times where getting less and less, but you also had bad phases in the time when you got way more good times, than bad times? 

23 hours ago, KenA said:

Some days we survive and somedays we thrive

 

i have many good days at 7 month out.. But sadly also enough ones.. where it's mostly surviving..

 

And another thing is: My muscles are sometimes so stiff, it's hard to walk. Did you experienced similar ?This is one of my most handicapping symptoms i have, it's terrible. 

I can't eat sometimes because, i can't move my arms.. this is terrible. View weeks ago i couldn't sometimes type on my pc, because my fingers where so stiff.

 

And also when a wave comes, all symptoms are getting worse together. Was this the same for your symptoms? 

So it's like i'm noticing that my arms getting stiff, 10 minutes later i'm getting dizzy again and than my mood is getting worse, my vision is getting blurry, i get fatique and after that sometimes i have a break only for 15 minutes, sometimes for a view days.

 

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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I have found all of your points to be true and am learning these for myself along the way. Acceptance was the hardest for me. 
congratulations! 


*effexor since 2013- 75 mg (256 beads average)

*march -December 2020 decrease 5% by counting beads and  holding 4 weeks in between. *December 2020 decreased to 145 beads  from 140 beads. & experienced severe symptoms (nausea, akathia, depression, anxiety, crying spells, unable to eat, suicidal) *3 days of symptoms I increased  5 beads - some relief*2 days later I increased 5 more beads  some more relief

*Held here for 5 months. (150 beads) December 2020-april2021 

April 2021 1 bead drop to 149

May 2021 1 bead drop to 148

June 2021 1 bead drop to 147

July 2021 1 bead drop to 146

March 19 2022 1 bead drop

March 31 2022 1 bead drop

taking omega 3 1000 mg, tumeric, magnesium gyltrate 200mg, tried CBD for anxiety in Nov 2020.
*Stopped birth control pill august 2020. Stopped rupall 10mg September 2021

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On 2/10/2022 at 1:34 PM, jonah2001 said:

Hey Ken, 

first of all, thank you so much for your answer.

It helps so much, hearing from somebody who has gone through this hell! 

Sometimes i wish there was a time Machine, to skip this ****. Or at least, a a look into the future.. how it will be in 8 month or so.. 

 

How did your symptoms get better over time? Was it more like the waves got better until you didn't noticed the wave anymore?

 

Or was it more like: You got the good times more and more and the bad times where getting less and less, but you also had bad phases in the time when you got way more good times, than bad times? 

 

i have many good days at 7 month out.. But sadly also enough ones.. where it's mostly surviving..

 

And another thing is: My muscles are sometimes so stiff, it's hard to walk. Did you experienced similar ?This is one of my most handicapping symptoms i have, it's terrible. 

I can't eat sometimes because, i can't move my arms.. this is terrible. View weeks ago i couldn't sometimes type on my pc, because my fingers where so stiff.

 

And also when a wave comes, all symptoms are getting worse together. Was this the same for your symptoms? 

So it's like i'm noticing that my arms getting stiff, 10 minutes later i'm getting dizzy again and than my mood is getting worse, my vision is getting blurry, i get fatique and after that sometimes i have a break only for 15 minutes, sometimes for a view days.

 

 

 

Hey Jonah,

For me honestly it was the typical windows and waves pattern of healing. It took a long time, but it was where the waves slowly got less and less intense and happened less often. I would have more days where I didn't feel as bad. Now, when I did get the waves, sometimes they would be stronger than before, but that's just because this is non-linear healing. Sometimes symptoms will come back that we thought we have healed from. It doesn't mean we didn't heal from them the first time, it just means our brains are working on something and a fix it already did may have to be temporarily  undone for a bit. But it will fix itself in due time and everything will be healed. So I guess the second one would be more accurate. Where I got the good times more and more and the bad times less and less, but had the bad phases as well. It truly is a unique pattern of healing for everyone and we all heal differently. My mentor would describe the patterns as slow cycling and then fast cycling. Sometimes the symptoms would cycle slowly through and hang on for days, and other times they would come and go within hours. When I started it was slow cycling, but as more time went on, it became fast cycling. 

 

Keep focusing on the good days for sure!! That is the norm. The bad days are just the days of healing where you have to have them to get better. The good days are when your brain is working smooth. That is your future!! That is what lies ahead for you!! Just remember if you can feel good for a day, then eventually it will be 2 days, then 3, and more and more!

 

I honestly had so many symptoms when I was healing, that I got to the point where I just stopped keeping track of them. I did for the longest time, but it was getting to the point where I would anticipate having them, and that would cause me to have anxiety over the thought that I might get them. So i just stopped and let it be. I figured I was gonna get them no matter what, so why worry about it. I can tell you that almost everything that you experience is 99 percent probably just a symptom of WD. When we are healing our nerves on getting fixed so if it's attached to a nerve, then that's more than likely the answer. By all means please get it checked by a doctor to make sure and for your peace of mind, but don't be suprised if they can't find anything wrong. My doctor tried so many tests on me and nothing was ever found. It was always WD related in my case! The secret is to just let the symptoms happen. No matter what you are experiencing, just know that it will pass at some point. We don't know when and it's usually when we least expect it, but I found that they always passed given enough time!! 

 

You are gonna get through this I promise! I know it's still early in the process, but give it as much time as it takes!! You can do this, I know you can!!

 

Ken

 

 

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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On 2/10/2022 at 6:07 PM, JessB said:

I have found all of your points to be true and am learning these for myself along the way. Acceptance was the hardest for me. 
congratulations! 

@JessB I agree. It took me a long time to have acceptance of all of this, but that one truly was the game changer. Once you learn how to accept what is happening, it kinda makes everything easier. Not better, but easier! Hope you are doing ok and coming along in your healing process as well! Just remember one day at a time. And if not one day, then one hour or even one minute. No matter what it takes :)

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Hey Ken,

thank you so much for your answer.

 

It’s crazy how those symptoms change over time. At the beginning I was agitated all the time. I had anxiety, DP/DR and many more. I couldn’t sit down and just relax. Now it’s the exact opposite.

I’m all the time lazy, fatigue and heavy. It feels like I have a constant flu. When there won’t be symptoms like dizziness, mental symptoms etc. I would just think I’m ill (It feels like a real influenza).

 

Did you also go through a time in withdrawal, where you just felt ill? (headaches, aches..)

 

And the wave and windows pattern are crazy. It changes for me multiple times a week.

Sometimes, like today, I feel unwell for hours. But than there are days where those symptoms are cycling in a really high frequency. So it’s like: I’m fatigue for 20 minutes, than everything is getting better for 30 minutes, than worse again for 20 -40 minutes and so on.

And then there are times where I feel good for hours or even days.

 

But it’s crazy, the windows are so much better than the waves. When I’m in a window, I can really imagine how it must feel to be normal. There isn’t so much missing.

In the last 5 month I’m writing down my symptoms in a diary and also in an excel sheet.

 

On 2/14/2022 at 11:41 PM, KenA said:

Where I got the good times more and more and the bad times less and less, but had the bad phases as well.

 

This is probably the way it works. I analysed my excel sheet and found out:

 

4 months ago: 75% of the time, I felt mentally like crap. And in the better times it was also not good.

2 months ago: 50% of the time, I felt mentally like crap.

Last 2 weeks: 35% of the time, I felt mentally like crap.

 

So I hope, and I think that over time those bad times get rare and rare until they will never come again. But that means, I can feel exactly the same bad, as I felt two months before.

And that’s why withdrawal is such a confusing thing. Because sometimes you have the feeling, that you don’t get better. But, in average you get more often better. And the windows are getting better over time.

Ken, do you think this is how withdrawal worked for you? Because knowing, it will work like this, helps in the bad waves. I can just say to myself: “Ohh, you are feeling bad again. But this will happen less often in the coming month.

 

It's  crazy. My fatigue was really getting better over the last weeks. And since 7 days it's very bad again.. But i'm pretty sure, after that it will be even better! 

 

But i will say it again: Thank you @KenA for answering every question! It helps so much. Have a great day!

 

Greetings from Germany, 

Jonah 

                       

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Great read Ken! Great positive attitude you have. I am glad you have found healing. I agree 100% with you on the things that used to be "inconveniences" for me now are nothing after what I went through in wd! It definitely does make you stronger! All the best to you :)

I follow The Plant Paradox lifestyle by Dr.Gundry. This lifestyle has given me my life back and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. It has enabled me to finally get off of this medication and truly live my life. Nutrition is the key to health!!!!! 

2008 to 2019  - 20 mg Paroxetine

Attempted 2 CT's around the 5-6 year mark. Were absolutely terrible and reinstated. Was never explained by the doctor the seriousness of the short half life of this drug. 

2017 - Attempted a tapered discontinuation of this drug and reinstated after being unsuccessful.

2019 - Feb. 12 - After a three month taper I am off of paroxetine. The 3 months were terrible, awful withdrawal feelings. I followed the doctors guidelines for the reduction of this drug and now know it was way too fast. 
2019 - Oct. 12 - 8 months off paroxetine. 75% improvement since coming off the drug. Definitely have had tons of challenges along the way. Let’s go!!!! 

2021 - Feb. 12 - 24 months off paroxetine. I have minor challenges now. Tinnitus/Headaches are still around but are reduced by a massive amount. 

 

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On 8/26/2021 at 11:46 PM, KenA said:

Hey everyone,

I said that once I was healed and felt back to normal again I would write a success story and I do believe that today is finally the day for it! It was a very long journey for me personally, but I know that others have been going through it for even longer. So for those of you that are still in the thick of it, I will tell you this! Keep on going and going and going!! Never ever give up! I truly do believe that everyone heals no matter how long it takes!! For some it is shorter than others, but it's coming for all of us!

 

You can read my intro topic and see that I really didn't find this site until I was almost 8 months in deep. I was one of those who CT quit everything because nothing was working for me and I got tired of trying different things to feel better. I was extremely fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who had survived the process and she reached out to me. She was able to encourage me daily to keep going and helped me to get through the very worst of days! I was so lucky because most people do not have that support system, but it was a life saver. 

 

Some things that I learned while going through this process:

1. Stay as positive as you possibly can! I know it's hard, believe me. There were so many days I just wanted to get in a funk and stay there, but I knew how dangerous that was. If you let yourself always see the bad in things, then eventually that is all you will see! Take what is happening to you and turn it around. Find something positive in your day. When I was having the worst of symptoms, instead of feeling bad about it and moping about it, I would turn it around and tell myself that I was having a good strong day of healing! The harder the symptoms, the more healing that was taking place. I made it a positive thing!!

 

2. Acceptance!!! I know this one is hard!! It was for me and took me a very very long time to learn it, but once I did it made a world of difference for me. The symptoms no longer had the power over me that they once had. Yeah they were still there, but I would just acknowledge them and then move on. There was nothing I could do about them, so I just let them happen. Besides it just meant that I was doing some more healing. The sooner you can learn how to accept the process the easier the process becomes.

 

3. Time!!! Unfortunately in my experience I found that there are no shortcuts in this process. There is no magic pill or drug that I could take that was gonna heal me any faster. I had to be patient and wait for my brain and CNS to heal! There was no way to speed up the process or make it any easier. I just had to get through it! That was it. Time time and more time!! Each day you go through is one day closer to your ultimate healing so don't give up!! 

 

4. Distract!!! Find something anything that you can use to distract yourself and make the time go by. For me it was long walks, paint by numbers, etchings, diamond dots, models, board games with my children!! Just anything to pass the time! The more I was able to distract myself, the more healing that was taking place without me worrying about it! When you sit around all day and don't engage your mind, it has nothing to do but ruminate on what you are thinking or experiencing. Distract!! 

 

5. Keep track of the good days! I experienced the normal waves and windows pattern that is normal for a lot of people. I would keep a journal daily where I would write down what I was thinking, how things were going. And for me most importantly, when I was feeling good in a window, I would write about it in the journal. I would write notes to myself reminding myself that I could feel good again and that I would feel good again. That way on the hard days I could go back and see what I had written to myself to know that I was gonna be ok.

 

And that's honestly about it! That's what worked for me! Just remember that what you are going through is temporary!! This is not the rest of your life. One day you will be healed and able to move forward with life and enjoy the days. This whole process has made me such a strong and more resilient person. Little things in life no longer really bother me and I have found I have so much more patience and understanding than I ever did before. As much as this whole thing sucked, it has made me a better person!! 

 

Just remember to keep going and going for as long as this takes!! You've got this and you know it! I will be sticking around the forums to help others. I always told myself once I made it through this I was gonna pay it forward and help others as well. Don't hesitate to reach out if needed!

 

Ken

 

 

 

Hello Ken! I read your posts and find it wery interesting that you got similar withdrawal issues as for us who take an ssri when you took a plant.  Are you sure this was the cause for your withdrawal issues and not the citalopram you took for 2 weeks?

Fluoxetine 2017 sept- 2019 January CT

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On 4/1/2022 at 12:38 PM, Jakob66 said:

 

 

 

Hello Ken! I read your posts and find it wery interesting that you got similar withdrawal issues as for us who take an ssri when you took a plant.  Are you sure this was the cause for your withdrawal issues and not the citalopram you took for 2 weeks?

Hey Jakob,

I'm really not sure to be honest with you. It's very possible it could have been either the citalopram or the klonozapam as well. Not sure to be honest which caused it, but I do know the St Johns def had an effect on my mental state. I would always take it to "numb" my emotions away. I could be mad or angry about something and within an hour of taking it I would have a numb feeling come over me where all was right with the world and I didn't care about anything at all. Towards the end where I was taking more and more, I started to have a lot of symptoms of seratonin shock, but not sure 100 percent to be honest. All I know is it was hell for the first year or so being pill free and not taking any mind altering substances. But, the good news is I feel better now and back to my normal old self again except I no longer take a pill to numb life away. I take the good along with the bad and enjoy each and every day that is a blessing!!

 

All the best,

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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On 2/16/2022 at 6:37 PM, Cocopuffz17 said:

Great read Ken! Great positive attitude you have. I am glad you have found healing. I agree 100% with you on the things that used to be "inconveniences" for me now are nothing after what I went through in wd! It definitely does make you stronger! All the best to you :)

Thank you my friend! I truly have found a positive attitude makes all the difference in the world!!! I wake up each morning and for at least 5 minutes I positive reaffirm to myself that I'm going to have a great day no matter how I feel or what I'm experiencing!! It truly does make a difference I feel!!! 

 

I have a tattoo on my back that says "That which does not kill me shall only make me stronger" Such a true thing of life!!

 

Hope all is well for you also

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Hey @KenA!  It’s been awhile since I’ve reached out. Probably almost a year?   I’ve made progress since my set back last May.   It wasn’t long ago a simple trip to the grocery  store or to get pizza was hard and nearly impossible.  Now I do those things daily and most of the time Without thought.  Many things are becoming automatic again.  Insomnia seemed to be going in the right direction where friday might I slept 9 hours and several times this past month I’ve slept similar.  Last night- 2 hours. The surges were back.  I’ve had them but so much less intense and last night they return. It’s very weird because I feel I can do so much more. Tv is easier. Reading at times is better. Saturday I had a great day. Very busy. I think in overdid by mowing my lawn but I felt ok doing it.  So this gets to my questions for you;  did you have insomnia waves even when you improved?   Also, did you just live life the best you could?  Meaning you did things as you could, no holding back? Like a mentioned a few months ago driving was really hard. Now, not so much. I’m in a wave today but I decided to go to my daughters cheer practice.  I prefer to stay active most days even if it’s light things to do. What did you do?  Thanks!

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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On 5/15/2022 at 5:28 PM, Fightinghard said:

Hey @KenA!  It’s been awhile since I’ve reached out. Probably almost a year?   I’ve made progress since my set back last May.   It wasn’t long ago a simple trip to the grocery  store or to get pizza was hard and nearly impossible.  Now I do those things daily and most of the time Without thought.  Many things are becoming automatic again.  Insomnia seemed to be going in the right direction where friday might I slept 9 hours and several times this past month I’ve slept similar.  Last night- 2 hours. The surges were back.  I’ve had them but so much less intense and last night they return. It’s very weird because I feel I can do so much more. Tv is easier. Reading at times is better. Saturday I had a great day. Very busy. I think in overdid by mowing my lawn but I felt ok doing it.  So this gets to my questions for you;  did you have insomnia waves even when you improved?   Also, did you just live life the best you could?  Meaning you did things as you could, no holding back? Like a mentioned a few months ago driving was really hard. Now, not so much. I’m in a wave today but I decided to go to my daughters cheer practice.  I prefer to stay active most days even if it’s light things to do. What did you do?  Thanks!

@Fightinghard Hey! It's great to hear from you!! Wow! A year already!! It's crazy how fast time truly does fly by when we stop worrying about it so much lol :) Glad to hear that you are making progress. Even if it's just baby steps, it's still progress!!! Just more good healing!! Just remember, that at any time, symptoms can come back that we thought were healed and we can experience them again. Def why they call it non-linear healing. But it just means that your brain has more work to do and you are gonna be even better and more resiliant for the next time. My mentor always liked to remind me that anytime we have symptoms again, it just means that we weren't through yet. We still had more healing to do. But it truly is a good thing!!

 

Always look for the positive in everything life throws your way!! I've overdone it before on yard work as well before! I would overdo it all the time lol, but I sure did always like to push myself. I tried to never let the symptoms keep me from doing the things I wanted to do. It did slow me down for sure, but never truly stopped me. Like going to Monster Truck shows, or the fair, or the store, or dates with my wife. I would make myself go and just get through it as best as I could. I would have waves for a few days afterwards, but it was worth it to me. I've always been a go getter, so I kept at it for sure.

 

I did have insomnia that would come back occasionally even months after it had gone away, but it never lasted for more than a couple of weeks on and off. I was fortunate that when I would have a bad night, the next night I was super exhausted so I would crash out and sleep good. Never really had 2-3 days of insomnia after I got out of the acute phase. Now in the very beginning I would have days in a row of it, but after the first 6 months or so it became a minor symptom. If I have any insomnia now, I just make a movie night of it. Just means your brain is busy fixing something and isn't ready to shut itself off just yet. 

 

Hope that you continue to get better and better my friend! Just remember, that everything we go through is temporary!! You've got this!!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Thanks Ken!  Recently I’ve really been going after doing this and you know what?  Things seem to be getting easier.  Didn’t get me wrong the waves knock me back but in general I’ve improved as I’ve done things. I just got back from my daughters cheer practice.  Overall I’m ok.  I was looking up what time a basketball game started.  Little things I’m seeing and doing that show I’m healing.  Thanks again Ken for the support!  Hopefully my next message I’m almost healed!  

2003-2006-  Zoloft then Wellbutrin, Ritalin, concerta , Adderall.  Don’t remember dosage, tapers or timeframes. ADD treatment. I think I had some WD?  Definitely PSSD which resolved over time. 

Zoloft  100 MG April18-april 22, 2020

Buspirone 20 mg from April 18-May 18

10 mg from May 18 - May 27 2020

Lexapro 5 mg from April 22 through May 1st

10 mg from May 1 through June 1

5 mg from June 1 though june 18

2.5 mg from June 18 through June 25

1.25 mg from June 25 through July 4 2020

Ambien -  2.5 mg  April 21 and 26 2020

Trazodone 50 mg-  3 times late April and 4 days the first week in June 2020

Supplements:  Melatonin .23 mg

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Mentor

@Fightinghard Great to hear that things are getting easier! Baby steps for sure my friend! Looking forward to reading your success story one day!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Hey @KenA, I am here! I am recovering.. but this process isn't linear as you said! 

I am very confused about the waves hitting me. Some symptoms are completely gone (or only a little bit) in a window! And those windows are lasting for a good 8-12 day's!! And than out of nowhere a wave comes like a monster! 

 

And those waves could be very strong.. 

so I am asking my self, how long will those waves hit me? 

 

I saw that you experienced similar?

 

You had those extended windows for a good 4-6 month? 

 

And how did those waves changed over time? It's hard to live with them.. because I never know when and how they will come..

 

I mean you are fully recovered.. that means your waves where gone.. or only a little bit..

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@jonah2001Hey there.

Yep, it truly is an extremely non-linear process my friend! The only thing you can be sure of is to expect the unexpected. That way you are never disappointed. Waves honestly my friend can keep hitting you until the healing is done. And there is no telling how long that it will take. But you just have to keep focusing on the good days and accept the bad ones. When you have the waves, that is just your brain doing some more healing! As long as there is healing that still needs to be done, then the waves will come. But welcome them in my friend! It's a good thing! You are healing more and more each and every time!! I honestly had waves for a really really long time. I don't know honestly how long they happend, but it was at least a year and a half or even more. I just got to the point where I didn't let the waves bother me any more. I turned them from negative to positive! I would welcome them because it meant I was gonna be even better after they would be done! I'll be honest with you, even today at almost 3 years I can still feel a bit off here and there. Nothing that I would even consider a wave any more, but maybe just a ripple or so. Just more adjustments and balances that are getting made. My mentor taught me that this process can take years, but it's ok. The further and further along we get the better and better we will be. So now when I feel a bit off like some anxiety or maybe a ringing in my ears, I just acknowledge it and move on. It always stops at some point. It's all good healing my friend!! It's all good healing!! Hang in there!! You've got this!! Just keep giving it more and more time and accept the process!!

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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Hello you are very positive & upbeat I can feel your good energy through the screen. Thank you for sticking around & congrats on recovering. My question is did you deal with any digestive issues? Like ibs, stomach aches or acid reflex?

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

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1 hour ago, peaceandlove said:

Hello you are very positive & upbeat I can feel your good energy through the screen. Thank you for sticking around & congrats on recovering. My question is did you deal with any digestive issues? Like ibs, stomach aches or acid reflex?

 

Or nausea?

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

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