KenA: Finally Made It Through

[Ninabird]

11 minutes ago, Moonpie said:

Your positive attitude is amazing!

And so are you @Moonpie

[Ninabird]

1 hour ago, KenA said:

Wow!!! Wednesday was my 3 year mark and I didn't even realize it Things have continued to get better and better!! Some days WD seems it was all just a bad dream!! For those of you still going through it, keep hanging in there!! It does get better I promise!!! 2 years ago I thought I was going to be the one rare exception and never heal, but here I am today to tell you that we all heal!! Given enough time you will heal as well!! Never ever give up! No matter what WD has to throw your way, never ever give up!! It's worth it I promise!!!

 

Congratulations on your 3 year offdrugaversary! You really are a real positive individual. You are so appreciated and loved on this site.

[jonah2001]

@KenA Hey Ken, thank you so much for this wonderful message! 

It's so amazing, that you are 3 years free of that bullsh*t!!! 

[RemeronHell]

Do you have a timeline of your symptoms and how they evolved until you got better ? 

[KenA]

@RemeronHell 

I have it all in my journals, but mostly it was hell for the first 7-8 months then it slowly improved. Just took a long time. Here's the link to my intro topic.

 

 

 

Ken

[Chlo]

On 10/7/2022 at 3:03 PM, KenA said:

 

Wow!!! Wednesday was my 3 year mark and I didn't even realize it Things have continued to get better and better!! Some days WD seems it was all just a bad dream!! For those of you still going through it, keep hanging in there!! It does get better I promise!!! 2 years ago I thought I was going to be the one rare exception and never heal, but here I am today to tell you that we all heal!! Given enough time you will heal as well!! Never ever give up! No matter what WD has to throw your way, never ever give up!! It's worth it I promise!!!

 

Ken

@KenA

Gosh I need to hear this. I am 14 months in and today has been very hard. I wish I just had the wd to deal with only, but I have the grief of losing my husband in Feb as well. Trying every second of the day to hold on, giving it to God. Yes, I trust him completely, but it still doesn't take the pain away. I find myself on my knees more and more. The fear and panic consume me and I struggle to believe I will heal 100%. My mother and I seen Zach Williams in Shreveport, LA Saturday and my soul was on fire with the Lord's presence. The evenings seem so much easier that mid morning up until around 5pm, why is that? 

Congratulations on your healing journey and thank you for giving us hope 🙂

Chlo

[KenA]

On 10/10/2022 at 4:37 PM, Chlo said:

@KenA

Gosh I need to hear this. I am 14 months in and today has been very hard. I wish I just had the wd to deal with only, but I have the grief of losing my husband in Feb as well. Trying every second of the day to hold on, giving it to God. Yes, I trust him completely, but it still doesn't take the pain away. I find myself on my knees more and more. The fear and panic consume me and I struggle to believe I will heal 100%. My mother and I seen Zach Williams in Shreveport, LA Saturday and my soul was on fire with the Lord's presence. The evenings seem so much easier that mid morning up until around 5pm, why is that? 

Congratulations on your healing journey and thank you for giving us hope 🙂

Chlo

Hey There! Glad that you have reached out!! Wow 14 months!! That is awesome!!! 14 months of healing and you are only getting that much closer to your complete healing!!! I couldn't imagine loosing my wife. That would be soooooo hard to have to handle especially while going through WD. But, hold on you must!! That is so amazing that you mention giving it to God, because that truly is what we have to do! There were so many days I would get down on my knees and pray and beg him to please not give me more than I could handle. And He never did. i was able to handle each and every day thanks to His grace and mercy!!! Keep the prayers going! It truly does help I believe!!! 

Yep, I was the same way when i was going through windows and waves. The mornings were the hardest. The afternoons would let up some, and then I would usually have pretty good evenings. I think it has to do with our Cortisol levels through the healing. Cortisol naturally is highest in the mornings because it is what makes us alert. Mine would always start to rise around 2-3 in the morning and seem to spike out around 9-10am. Then as the day went on, I could feel myself start to come back down and be able to relax! It's crazy how our hormones and neuro transmitters are all off balance during this healing, but that's just what we have to go through to get healed. Have to let our brains get everything sorted back out  You are doing amazing at 14 months!! Keep on going and going!!

 

Ken

[Chlo]

17 hours ago, KenA said:

Hey There! Glad that you have reached out!! Wow 14 months!! That is awesome!!! 14 months of healing and you are only getting that much closer to your complete healing!!! I couldn't imagine loosing my wife. That would be soooooo hard to have to handle especially while going through WD. But, hold on you must!! That is so amazing that you mention giving it to God, because that truly is what we have to do! There were so many days I would get down on my knees and pray and beg him to please not give me more than I could handle. And He never did. i was able to handle each and every day thanks to His grace and mercy!!! Keep the prayers going! It truly does help I believe!!! 

Yep, I was the same way when i was going through windows and waves. The mornings were the hardest. The afternoons would let up some, and then I would usually have pretty good evenings. I think it has to do with our Cortisol levels through the healing. Cortisol naturally is highest in the mornings because it is what makes us alert. Mine would always start to rise around 2-3 in the morning and seem to spike out around 9-10am. Then as the day went on, I could feel myself start to come back down and be able to relax! It's crazy how our hormones and neuro transmitters are all off balance during this healing, but that's just what we have to go through to get healed. Have to let our brains get everything sorted back out  You are doing amazing at 14 months!! Keep on going and going!!

 

Ken

Thank you! @KenA i could sure use some prayers.

 

[KenA]

6 minutes ago, Chlo said:

Thank you! @KenA i could sure use some prayers.

 

I will most definitely keep you in my prayers!

[Parisien]

Hello @KenA I admire your healing, I had a question for you.  I myself am 9 months out of withdrawal after taking an antidepressant for two years.  I stopped the treatment abruptly overnight.  I had lots of symptoms that went away even though I still have brain fog.  Insomnia is getting better and better this is what took the longest to get back to normal at the very beginning I had dizziness nausea intense migraine loss of balance poor sensitivity to noise and light etc and  I'm going on but my question is the following because I hear that you have to do a gradual weaning to find the person you were before.  According to you, in relation to your withdrawal experience in my case, is it too late?  The doctors tell me that 9 months later is too late to reintegrate and do a progressive weaning again.  But I don't listen to doctors anymore since they poisoned me, I don't trust them anymore.  I don't think I'm healed mentally, except sexually or there is no, or very little improvement

[Parisien]

Sorry for the translation I said that sexually it is not improving contrary to my mental health even my memory has returned

[KenA]

On 10/12/2022 at 9:20 PM, Parisien said:

Hello @KenA I admire your healing, I had a question for you.  I myself am 9 months out of withdrawal after taking an antidepressant for two years.  I stopped the treatment abruptly overnight.  I had lots of symptoms that went away even though I still have brain fog.  Insomnia is getting better and better this is what took the longest to get back to normal at the very beginning I had dizziness nausea intense migraine loss of balance poor sensitivity to noise and light etc and  I'm going on but my question is the following because I hear that you have to do a gradual weaning to find the person you were before.  According to you, in relation to your withdrawal experience in my case, is it too late?  The doctors tell me that 9 months later is too late to reintegrate and do a progressive weaning again.  But I don't listen to doctors anymore since they poisoned me, I don't trust them anymore.  I don't think I'm healed mentally, except sexually or there is no, or very little improvement

@Parisien Thanks for reaching out!! It was a long journey for sure, but well worth it to say the least! I had all of those symptoms that you had as well. Probably some other ones as well. But all of those symptoms are resolved now and I am back to living a wonderful life once again. I sleep amazing now almost every night, my digestive system is all back to normal again. The brain fog and all of the other symptoms are gone and have not returned I was one of those that CT quit everything as well because I couldn't stand the thought of taking any more pills. Was it the right choice? Couldn't tell you that, but it was the right choice for me. Everyone has a personal journey for healing and you have to do what feels right for you. Your body is an amazing thing and it will let you know exactly how it is doing. At 9 months, I'm not sure that reinstatement would work. That is more of a question for one of the mods. But I can tell you that I stuck it out and 3 years later, I feel amazing. It was worth it for me. Yes, it was a long hard journey, I'm not going to lie, and there were many days I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I held on. I read other survivor stories that told me I was going to heal, and you know what? They were right! I healed. I do 100 percent believe that everyone heals given enough time. 9 months truly is amazing!! That is 9 months that you never have to go through again. Each one of us is different, so there is no way to tell how long it might take, but just keep hanging in there!! No matter how long it takes, you are going to heal. I know it's hard when you don't see improvement right away, but just remember this is non-linear healing. You just gotta keep giving it as much time as it takes!!! You are doing amazing my friend!! Just keep taking it one day at a time, and when the symptoms get hard, just remember "This too shall pass". No matter how hard the wave, they always pass at some point!! You've got this and you know it!! Please reach out if you need to chat!

 

Ken

[Parisien]

6 hours ago, KenA said:

@Parisien Thanks for reaching out!! It was a long journey for sure, but well worth it to say the least! I had all of those symptoms that you had as well. Probably some other ones as well. But all of those symptoms are resolved now and I am back to living a wonderful life once again. I sleep amazing now almost every night, my digestive system is all back to normal again. The brain fog and all of the other symptoms are gone and have not returned I was one of those that CT quit everything as well because I couldn't stand the thought of taking any more pills. Was it the right choice? Couldn't tell you that, but it was the right choice for me. Everyone has a personal journey for healing and you have to do what feels right for you. Your body is an amazing thing and it will let you know exactly how it is doing. At 9 months, I'm not sure that reinstatement would work. That is more of a question for one of the mods. But I can tell you that I stuck it out and 3 years later, I feel amazing. It was worth it for me. Yes, it was a long hard journey, I'm not going to lie, and there were many days I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I held on. I read other survivor stories that told me I was going to heal, and you know what? They were right! I healed. I do 100 percent believe that everyone heals given enough time. 9 months truly is amazing!! That is 9 months that you never have to go through again. Each one of us is different, so there is no way to tell how long it might take, but just keep hanging in there!! No matter how long it takes, you are going to heal. I know it's hard when you don't see improvement right away, but just remember this is non-linear healing. You just gotta keep giving it as much time as it takes!!! You are doing amazing my friend!! Just keep taking it one day at a time, and when the symptoms get hard, just remember "This too shall pass". No matter how hard the wave, they always pass at some point!! You've got this and you know it!! Please reach out if you need to chat!

 

Ken

@KenAIt's nice I thank you for your kindness it's important to support this in this difficult moment because some may be tempted to take the medicine (me too).  But you don't have to hang on.  What surprised me the most was the return of my memory because during the treatment my short-term memory was very bad.  And for 2 months after weaning I was lucky not to work but anyway I couldn't have.  Now I work full time, it's hard but I know that every day is better.  Sleep is also very very important to not have a bad day.  I'm going to go back to sport hoping that it helps my brain, I have to find the motivation and the energy before or after work.  Without being indiscreet, did you have sexually pssd or sexual dysfunction syndrome in withdrawal?  I have nothing going at this level, nothing has returned to the way it was before the treatment or I had no problem at this level.  And that's what depresses me a lot.  I'm very afraid that it will never come back.  If that's the case after several years of withdrawal I wouldn't have much alternative, I don't know what I would do.  But I'm going to fight to get better the lifestyle the sport is super important.  Are there things that help you like sport?  Or talk about your withdrawal to a close and understanding friend?  I don't take any supplements because I'm afraid it will affect me.  As you say the past 9 months are behind me now it's still hard but compare to the first month where I couldn't think clearly or I couldn't even work so much the headaches were intense.  I think that mentally with time I can be close to me before at least I hope so.  But sexually I'm skeptical I have big doubts

[KenA]

@Parisien Hey there. I actually didnt' have problems with PSSD, but in a way it's because I just didn't think about it. Honestly I felt so bad when I was going through WD for a good 9-10 months that sex was the last thing that I had on my mind. Having the strong anxiety, and then depression on top of all the physical symptoms. The insomnia, digestive issues, and more, I never was in the mood to be intimate in the bedroom. And you know as a guy, we can't fake it. If we aren't in the mood, then things are not gonna work no matter what we try. Plus I'm in my 40's now. I started WD at 39 years old. I'm no longer in my "prime" if you will, so being intimate is not the end all be all for me. My wife and I would rather cuddle and watch a good movie than "go at it". But, I do know from speaking with others that have had PSSD as a symptom, that it is just a temporary symptom. They have all healed from it and are not having any problems with it now. Just like every other symptom, it just takes time to heal. This truly is a game of waiting and we can't rush the process. Just have to stay as positive as you can and just keep hanging in there. This too shall pass!

[jonah2001]

@Parisien Hey there. I am 15 month past zero and i can totally relate to that what Ken is saying. The only difference is that i am 21 years old. I was suffering so hard.. never had a single tought about it. But as time goes on it comes back. First of all you it will start slowly. From time to time i started to think about it more often. So just wait. You will get there!!

[Jilla]

On 8/26/2021 at 3:46 PM, KenA said:

Hey everyone,

I said that once I was healed and felt back to normal again I would write a success story and I do believe that today is finally the day for it! It was a very long journey for me personally, but I know that others have been going through it for even longer. So for those of you that are still in the thick of it, I will tell you this! Keep on going and going and going!! Never ever give up! I truly do believe that everyone heals no matter how long it takes!! For some it is shorter than others, but it's coming for all of us!

 

You can read my intro topic and see that I really didn't find this site until I was almost 8 months in deep. I was one of those who CT quit everything because nothing was working for me and I got tired of trying different things to feel better. I was extremely fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who had survived the process and she reached out to me. She was able to encourage me daily to keep going and helped me to get through the very worst of days! I was so lucky because most people do not have that support system, but it was a life saver. 

 

Some things that I learned while going through this process:

1. Stay as positive as you possibly can! I know it's hard, believe me. There were so many days I just wanted to get in a funk and stay there, but I knew how dangerous that was. If you let yourself always see the bad in things, then eventually that is all you will see! Take what is happening to you and turn it around. Find something positive in your day. When I was having the worst of symptoms, instead of feeling bad about it and moping about it, I would turn it around and tell myself that I was having a good strong day of healing! The harder the symptoms, the more healing that was taking place. I made it a positive thing!!

 

2. Acceptance!!! I know this one is hard!! It was for me and took me a very very long time to learn it, but once I did it made a world of difference for me. The symptoms no longer had the power over me that they once had. Yeah they were still there, but I would just acknowledge them and then move on. There was nothing I could do about them, so I just let them happen. Besides it just meant that I was doing some more healing. The sooner you can learn how to accept the process the easier the process becomes.

 

3. Time!!! Unfortunately in my experience I found that there are no shortcuts in this process. There is no magic pill or drug that I could take that was gonna heal me any faster. I had to be patient and wait for my brain and CNS to heal! There was no way to speed up the process or make it any easier. I just had to get through it! That was it. Time time and more time!! Each day you go through is one day closer to your ultimate healing so don't give up!! 

 

4. Distract!!! Find something anything that you can use to distract yourself and make the time go by. For me it was long walks, paint by numbers, etchings, diamond dots, models, board games with my children!! Just anything to pass the time! The more I was able to distract myself, the more healing that was taking place without me worrying about it! When you sit around all day and don't engage your mind, it has nothing to do but ruminate on what you are thinking or experiencing. Distract!! 

 

5. Keep track of the good days! I experienced the normal waves and windows pattern that is normal for a lot of people. I would keep a journal daily where I would write down what I was thinking, how things were going. And for me most importantly, when I was feeling good in a window, I would write about it in the journal. I would write notes to myself reminding myself that I could feel good again and that I would feel good again. That way on the hard days I could go back and see what I had written to myself to know that I was gonna be ok.

 

And that's honestly about it! That's what worked for me! Just remember that what you are going through is temporary!! This is not the rest of your life. One day you will be healed and able to move forward with life and enjoy the days. This whole process has made me such a strong and more resilient person. Little things in life no longer really bother me and I have found I have so much more patience and understanding than I ever did before. As much as this whole thing sucked, it has made me a better person!! 

 

Just remember to keep going and going for as long as this takes!! You've got this and you know it! I will be sticking around the forums to help others. I always told myself once I made it through this I was gonna pay it forward and help others as well. Don't hesitate to reach out if needed!

 

Ken

 

[Jilla]

Thanks for sharing. I have been in ct withdrawals since March. Since August I have been going back and forth from good weeks to not so good weeks. The past couple of weeks have been not so good weeks. It’s always encouraging to hear success stories.  Keeps all of us going👍

[KenA]

On 12/26/2022 at 3:33 PM, Jilla said:

Thanks for sharing. I have been in ct withdrawals since March. Since August I have been going back and forth from good weeks to not so good weeks. The past couple of weeks have been not so good weeks. It’s always encouraging to hear success stories.  Keeps all of us going👍

@JillaYou are most welcome!! Going CT sure is the hard way isn't it I did it myself and survived the process. It was extremely hard to say the least, but looking back on it, I'm glad I did it the way that I did. I do believe it helped me to get through it quicker where at 3 years now I'm pretty much back to normal. But that was just my personal choice  Keep on hanging in there through the rough ones!! The harder the wave, the sweeter the next window You've got this!!

 

Ken

[Terry4949]

Your story is keeping me going I am a long term withdrawal suffer it’s coming up to 6 years off all meds unfortunately most c/t and I’m still really struggling so many symptoms but the worst is crippling depression I havnt had any windows which is probably why my recovery is so slow it’s good to read you story as like other recovery stories it gives us that think we will never heal a glimmer of hope thank you for sharing and giving hope to people like me 

[KenA]

On 1/4/2023 at 12:33 PM, Terry4949 said:

Your story is keeping me going I am a long term withdrawal suffer it’s coming up to 6 years off all meds unfortunately most c/t and I’m still really struggling so many symptoms but the worst is crippling depression I havnt had any windows which is probably why my recovery is so slow it’s good to read you story as like other recovery stories it gives us that think we will never heal a glimmer of hope thank you for sharing and giving hope to people like me 

@Terry4949 Glad to hear that my story is helping you to continue to find the strength and willpower to keep on pushing through. I know it's a hard journey for sure!!! 6 years is truly a long time, but you have to look at how far you have come!! That is an amazing amount of healing that you have accomplished and it could be the light at the end of the tunnel for you. And if not, that's ok! You are going to heal one day I truly do believe!! I know that depression is scary, but remember that it isn't you. It's just a chemical imbalance you are experiencing while healing. I can promise you there were times that I thought that maybe I wasn't going to heal as well. But I refused to ever give up because I knew that it was just the waves talking. The waves lie to us. I truly hope that one day soon you will be able to get a small window, just a glimmer of hope that will show you how amazing the future will be!!! You are going to make it my friend I know it!! Just keep taking it one day at a time and keep doing what you are doing!! You've got this!!

 

Ken

[KenA]

Hey everyone! Just wanted to check in with a 4 year update!! Everything is going better and better than ever before. Back to a completely normal life with no major issues except life's normal little ups and downs. Just wanted to let you all know that you are going to make it too!! Just keep on giving it as much time as you need to and push through each and every day!! Life is great!! Make the most of each and every day you have and KNOW that you are going to heal!!

 

Ken

[Jilla]

Thanks for the encouragement Ken!

[peaceandlove]

Hey, how are you?  I read somewhere Recently that you had alcohol & it caused symptoms? I’m just curious what symptoms & would you consider it a wave

[KenA]

@peaceandlove Hey there! Doing very well thank you!! The first time I drank alcohol was about the 18 month or so. I had been having long extended windows for a few months so I wanted to give it a try. I did end up causing me to have some anxiety, but nothing that I would really call a wave. I was able to drink socially with no major issues. Then I got hit with Covid! That was probably around month 20-21, and that kicked my butt. Covid threw me back into withdrawals all over again. That lasted another 6-7 months before settling back down. After I started feeling better again I waited until I got to my 3rd year. Then I tried drinking again and once again it caused me no issues. So now at 4 years, I'm able to drink socially, take medicine if needed and live a normal life. We all heal at some point and get back to normal. I was blessed to be healed within 3 years so that was a plus!

[peaceandlove]

3 hours ago, KenA said:

@peaceandlove Hey there! Doing very well thank you!! The first time I drank alcohol was about the 18 month or so. I had been having long extended windows for a few months so I wanted to give it a try. I did end up causing me to have some anxiety, but nothing that I would really call a wave. I was able to drink socially with no major issues. Then I got hit with Covid! That was probably around month 20-21, and that kicked my butt. Covid threw me back into withdrawals all over again. That lasted another 6-7 months before settling back down. After I started feeling better again I waited until I got to my 3rd year. Then I tried drinking again and once again it caused me no issues. So now at 4 years, I'm able to drink socially, take medicine if needed and live a normal life. We all heal at some point and get back to normal. I was blessed to be healed within 3 years so that was a plus!

Oh wow I can’t believe covid set you back that far! I took antibiotics 2 months ago & it definitely has set me back. Ramping up symptoms. I am 20 months out. Thank you so much for the detailed response. That’s so good now you can drink & live normally!! So happy for you 😁

[getofflex]

Ken your story is very inspirational!  You used some excellent coping skills - a lot of the same ones I've used, and still use - acceptance, distraction, time, etc.  Thanks for all you do for the site, and keeping it running!  

[KenA]

@getofflex Most welcome my friend! Positivity truly is everything. Even in our normal daily lives. What's the expression. Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it! WD truly did teach me some amazing life skills that I still use even today! 

[peaceandlove]

Would you consider what you had akathisia? (Extreme anxiety, constant mental symptoms, fear, panic) 

[KenA]

Based upon the definition of akathisia which is an inability to remain still, then no, I never really had that except maybe 2-3 times and it didn't last long at all any time. The anxiety and mental symptoms, yes, had those quite often. But I never really had the urge to get up and run around. I usually was huddled up on my side of the bed wrapped up in my weighted blanket, or sitting on my sons bed rocking while he held my hand.

[Giuly88]

On 8/26/2021 at 10:46 PM, KenA said:

Hey everyone,

I said that once I was healed and felt back to normal again I would write a success story and I do believe that today is finally the day for it! It was a very long journey for me personally, but I know that others have been going through it for even longer. So for those of you that are still in the thick of it, I will tell you this! Keep on going and going and going!! Never ever give up! I truly do believe that everyone heals no matter how long it takes!! For some it is shorter than others, but it's coming for all of us!

 

You can read my intro topic and see that I really didn't find this site until I was almost 8 months in deep. I was one of those who CT quit everything because nothing was working for me and I got tired of trying different things to feel better. I was extremely fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who had survived the process and she reached out to me. She was able to encourage me daily to keep going and helped me to get through the very worst of days! I was so lucky because most people do not have that support system, but it was a life saver. 

 

Some things that I learned while going through this process:

1. Stay as positive as you possibly can! I know it's hard, believe me. There were so many days I just wanted to get in a funk and stay there, but I knew how dangerous that was. If you let yourself always see the bad in things, then eventually that is all you will see! Take what is happening to you and turn it around. Find something positive in your day. When I was having the worst of symptoms, instead of feeling bad about it and moping about it, I would turn it around and tell myself that I was having a good strong day of healing! The harder the symptoms, the more healing that was taking place. I made it a positive thing!!

 

2. Acceptance!!! I know this one is hard!! It was for me and took me a very very long time to learn it, but once I did it made a world of difference for me. The symptoms no longer had the power over me that they once had. Yeah they were still there, but I would just acknowledge them and then move on. There was nothing I could do about them, so I just let them happen. Besides it just meant that I was doing some more healing. The sooner you can learn how to accept the process the easier the process becomes.

 

3. Time!!! Unfortunately in my experience I found that there are no shortcuts in this process. There is no magic pill or drug that I could take that was gonna heal me any faster. I had to be patient and wait for my brain and CNS to heal! There was no way to speed up the process or make it any easier. I just had to get through it! That was it. Time time and more time!! Each day you go through is one day closer to your ultimate healing so don't give up!! 

 

4. Distract!!! Find something anything that you can use to distract yourself and make the time go by. For me it was long walks, paint by numbers, etchings, diamond dots, models, board games with my children!! Just anything to pass the time! The more I was able to distract myself, the more healing that was taking place without me worrying about it! When you sit around all day and don't engage your mind, it has nothing to do but ruminate on what you are thinking or experiencing. Distract!! 

 

5. Keep track of the good days! I experienced the normal waves and windows pattern that is normal for a lot of people. I would keep a journal daily where I would write down what I was thinking, how things were going. And for me most importantly, when I was feeling good in a window, I would write about it in the journal. I would write notes to myself reminding myself that I could feel good again and that I would feel good again. That way on the hard days I could go back and see what I had written to myself to know that I was gonna be ok.

 

And that's honestly about it! That's what worked for me! Just remember that what you are going through is temporary!! This is not the rest of your life. One day you will be healed and able to move forward with life and enjoy the days. This whole process has made me such a strong and more resilient person. Little things in life no longer really bother me and I have found I have so much more patience and understanding than I ever did before. As much as this whole thing sucked, it has made me a better person!! 

 

Just remember to keep going and going for as long as this takes!! You've got this and you know it! I will be sticking around the forums to help others. I always told myself once I made it through this I was gonna pay it forward and help others as well. Don't hesitate to reach out if needed!

 

Ken

On 8/26/2021 at 10:46 PM, KenA said:

Hey everyone,

I said that once I was healed and felt back to normal again I would write a success story and I do believe that today is finally the day for it! It was a very long journey for me personally, but I know that others have been going through it for even longer. So for those of you that are still in the thick of it, I will tell you this! Keep on going and going and going!! Never ever give up! I truly do believe that everyone heals no matter how long it takes!! For some it is shorter than others, but it's coming for all of us!

 

You can read my intro topic and see that I really didn't find this site until I was almost 8 months in deep. I was one of those who CT quit everything because nothing was working for me and I got tired of trying different things to feel better. I was extremely fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who had survived the process and she reached out to me. She was able to encourage me daily to keep going and helped me to get through the very worst of days! I was so lucky because most people do not have that support system, but it was a life saver. 

 

Some things that I learned while going through this process:

1. Stay as positive as you possibly can! I know it's hard, believe me. There were so many days I just wanted to get in a funk and stay there, but I knew how dangerous that was. If you let yourself always see the bad in things, then eventually that is all you will see! Take what is happening to you and turn it around. Find something positive in your day. When I was having the worst of symptoms, instead of feeling bad about it and moping about it, I would turn it around and tell myself that I was having a good strong day of healing! The harder the symptoms, the more healing that was taking place. I made it a positive thing!!

 

2. Acceptance!!! I know this one is hard!! It was for me and took me a very very long time to learn it, but once I did it made a world of difference for me. The symptoms no longer had the power over me that they once had. Yeah they were still there, but I would just acknowledge them and then move on. There was nothing I could do about them, so I just let them happen. Besides it just meant that I was doing some more healing. The sooner you can learn how to accept the process the easier the process becomes.

 

3. Time!!! Unfortunately in my experience I found that there are no shortcuts in this process. There is no magic pill or drug that I could take that was gonna heal me any faster. I had to be patient and wait for my brain and CNS to heal! There was no way to speed up the process or make it any easier. I just had to get through it! That was it. Time time and more time!! Each day you go through is one day closer to your ultimate healing so don't give up!! 

 

4. Distract!!! Find something anything that you can use to distract yourself and make the time go by. For me it was long walks, paint by numbers, etchings, diamond dots, models, board games with my children!! Just anything to pass the time! The more I was able to distract myself, the more healing that was taking place without me worrying about it! When you sit around all day and don't engage your mind, it has nothing to do but ruminate on what you are thinking or experiencing. Distract!! 

 

5. Keep track of the good days! I experienced the normal waves and windows pattern that is normal for a lot of people. I would keep a journal daily where I would write down what I was thinking, how things were going. And for me most importantly, when I was feeling good in a window, I would write about it in the journal. I would write notes to myself reminding myself that I could feel good again and that I would feel good again. That way on the hard days I could go back and see what I had written to myself to know that I was gonna be ok.

 

And that's honestly about it! That's what worked for me! Just remember that what you are going through is temporary!! This is not the rest of your life. One day you will be healed and able to move forward with life and enjoy the days. This whole process has made me such a strong and more resilient person. Little things in life no longer really bother me and I have found I have so much more patience and understanding than I ever did before. As much as this whole thing sucked, it has made me a better person!! 

 

Just remember to keep going and going for as long as this takes!! You've got this and you know it! I will be sticking around the forums to help others. I always told myself once I made it through this I was gonna pay it forward and help others as well. Don't hesitate to reach out if needed!

 

Ken

Hi KenA,

 

I have just come across your success story and just wanted to congratulate with you on your extraordinary journey back to health and recovery.

 

May I ask if you had muscle tightening, spasms, tremors and jerks?

These are the symptoms that I have 1 year offer discontinuation of escitalopram.

 

Thank you ❤️

 

[KenA]

@Giuly88 Thank you much my friend. It was a hard journey, but one that was well worth it! I did have muscle spasm, tremors and jerks also. Mine were completely random and would come and go at will. I always use to just think of it as a misfiring nerve that was doing some healing. There was nothing I could do to stop it, so I just let it happen and trusted that it would stop eventually. And it always did! 1 year is awesome my friend! That is 1 year that you never have to go through again. 1 year closer to being completely healed! You will get there I promise! Just hang in there and push through till you get there!

 

Ken

[Giuly88]

8 minutes ago, KenA said:

@Giuly88 Thank you much my friend. It was a hard journey, but one that was well worth it! I did have muscle spasm, tremors and jerks also. Mine were completely random and would come and go at will. I always use to just think of it as a misfiring nerve that was doing some healing. There was nothing I could do to stop it, so I just let it happen and trusted that it would stop eventually. And it always did! 1 year is awesome my friend! That is 1 year that you never have to go through again. 1 year closer to being completely healed! You will get there I promise! Just hang in there and push through till you get there!

 

Ken

Thank you @KenA

 

Could you describe where about did you have these tight muscles please and how long it took to go away?

 

I’m having a very difficult day today I did nothing to cause this uptick of symptoms. I have tight back when I stand and a squeezing abdomen when I sit down. It all comes with pain 😔. (Apologies for all my questions 🤦🏽‍♀️)

 

Thank you for any hope KenA 💕

[KenA]

It was completely random. Arms, legs, chest, abs, there was no rhyme or reason to it. The key to WD is to always expect the unexpected. Nothing about WD makes any sense. It's just nerves randomly misfiring all over your body as you heal. Anything in your body that is connected to a nerve can misfire and cause a symptom. Once you accept that everything you are going through is just part of the healing process, it will stop freaking you out so much and you will learn how to relax and just go with the flow. This too shall pass, remember that!

[Giuly88]

2 hours ago, KenA said:

It was completely random. Arms, legs, chest, abs, there was no rhyme or reason to it. The key to WD is to always expect the unexpected. Nothing about WD makes any sense. It's just nerves randomly misfiring all over your body as you heal. Anything in your body that is connected to a nerve can misfire and cause a symptom. Once you accept that everything you are going through is just part of the healing process, it will stop freaking you out so much and you will learn how to relax and just go with the flow. This too shall pass, remember that!

@KenA

 

Thank you so much KenA for replying back to me. I’m so appreciative of you giving me hope. I made terrible mistakes with the lexapro not knowing about withdrawal and the need to slowly reduce. I kindled myself, had an adverse reaction on reinstatement and entered the worst hell on earth. I have to keep up hope that these awful symptoms and pain will go the sooner the better. 
 

I wish you the best that life has to offer for you 😊❤️

[Kaylaq]

@KenA did you taper the SJW? I think that is what is causing my skin sensitivity but I’m afraid to taper cause it’s also what’s holding my brain together so I don’t go over the deep end. 🤪🤪  can’t go to that “suicidal place” s as anymore, just can’t….

 

thank you in advance 🙏😊

[KenA]

@KaylaqNot knowing any better, I CT quit everything including the St. Johns. I had taken it for over 8 years and didn't know that it needed to be tapered like everything else.