rachie: trusting this anxiety will get better

[rachie]

For a few brief anquished moments i have considered going back on meds. And I am taking sparing occassion klonoin and propanolol just be able to show up to the more important things. Recently I took a product called seroplus recommended by the holistic psychiatrist because i thought if i'm going to consider A/D's then why don't I try this. For 5 days it was awful and then I started to feel better. I've been taking it for a couple of months (1/2 recommended dose) and really doing better. Now I'm in a bad wave and I keep wishing I had nothing in my system so it would take away the confusion of whether or not it is causing it. I don't have my answer on that yet. I aways hate the part of not knowing how to help myself. But to clearly answer your question I think more about quitiing work, quitting everything, planting a garden or walking in the woods for a year before i would consider the A/D again. I was very bad on them for 20 years. Akithisia, tremors, feeling like was being pushed all day every day, intense daily anxiety and a toxicity but could never get off of them. I've come this far. I have hope that my body may heal and I won't have to live like that again. I'm in the grey area of this is hopeless and maybe I am at the top of the hill so just keep moving forward. Regarding antidepressants. I was not depressed. I took them for anxiety after a stressful period. The most depressed I've been was while on them. 

 

[Pollyjay]

Oh I do understand. And I know many other people on this site are going through -or have gone through the same thing, Ten years ago, when I was tapering Paxil. I went through it also. I remember going out to feed our ducks. One of them had hatched about 10 fluffy little ducklings. I remember looking at them and feeling nothing! It was like looking at a cardboard box. I had no feeling of "oh they're SOOO cute" at all. It was so scary. But all my normal feeling did come back as the dose got smaller. I see mentions of it in my old diaries from that time. But what I have now seems to be worse. I really think that this time it's caused more by the anxiety.

 

Have you read this blog/website? I think I saw it in the self help section. It's called NOTHING WORKS,  A letter to myself. This guy suffered for extreme anxiety and panic and eventually found his way out of it and is living a normal life. He's also kind of funny.  One thing he wrote that struck me, he said, all these symptoms like not being able to feel love or pleasure -he went through them all too- shouldn't distress us. He says it's because our brain is so busy franticly trying to protect us from this perceived (But not real) threat that it just can't turn itself to register the normal emotions that we're used to.  And I must admit, in the short times that my anxiety has diminished I've felt a resurgence of the love and interest in things coming back. I could watch a you tube video or read a little from a book. Those things I'm having great difficulty with when the anxiety is so high. Things I used to love watching , like horse training videos just send my adrenaline sky high. It really makes no sense. You'd think watching something you're passionate about would bring some calmness and distraction from the symptoms. But instead it ramps them up.  It's like the anxiety has to drop to a particular level for those feelings to be able to well up again. The guy writing the "letter"  says the real you hasn't gone anywhere, your quite well and safe tucked away somewhere while your brain is doing the fight or flight thing. It gave me a lot of hope. I haven't finished reading the whole thing yet but here's a link to it and I hope his words  bring you some solace  as they did for me. I keep imagining the real me, safely protected deep inside some cozy part of my brain where no harm can come, while all heck is breaking loose on the outside.

 

http://nothingworks.weebly.com/

[Pollyjay]

Just checking in to see how you're doing, Rachie.

[rachie]

Reading nothing works!!! I've actually done so much work around that concept but no matter what I did for the 20 yrs I was on ad's the a/d kept me agitated and in high anxiety and it wasn't allowing me to heal. Now I feel like I'm at square one. Keenly aware of how bad my rutted thinking makes things. I'm so negative and I know the first place is to have some compassion for myself and how difficult and compromising the withdrawal process is instead of just freaking out about it internally (on a loop) I have a lot of sadness for the 20 yrs and multiple failed attempts to withdraw and how devastating it was to not know what was going on. Part of me knew it wasn't me but psych dr of course said it was my needing the meds. I'm digressing. Main thing is I need to change the way I talk to my self. I feel like someone who has been shocked with a prod 10,000 times and can't get out of the victim place. I can only pray for change from a source greater than myself. Wish I could commit to healing. I keep showing up but don't have a fighting spirit which would involve championing myself. I'm more in survival. I think I'm afraid to think it will be ok.  Reading nothing works has me thinking a lot about my personal responsibility. Thank you for sharing it. 

[Pollyjay]

3 hours ago, rachie said:

Reading nothing works!!! I've actually done so much work around that concept but no matter what I did for the 20 yrs I was on ad's the a/d kept me agitated and in high anxiety and it wasn't allowing me to heal. Now I feel like I'm at square one. Keenly aware of how bad my rutted thinking makes things. I'm so negative and I know the first place is to have some compassion for myself and how difficult and compromising the withdrawal process is instead of just freaking out about it internally (on a loop) I have a lot of sadness for the 20 yrs and multiple failed attempts to withdraw and how devastating it was to not know what was going on. Part of me knew it wasn't me but psych dr of course said it was my needing the meds. I'm digressing. Main thing is I need to change the way I talk to my self. I feel like someone who has been shocked with a prod 10,000 times and can't get out of the victim place. I can only pray for change from a source greater than myself. Wish I could commit to healing. I keep showing up but don't have a fighting spirit which would involve championing myself. I'm more in survival. I think I'm afraid to think it will be ok.  Reading nothing works has me thinking a lot about my personal responsibility. Thank you for sharing it. 

 

You're welcome! I still haven't made it through the whole thing yet. For some reason every time I get to the part when he starts telling the story about the prison and Mr. Limbic. I find myself getting more anxious. I'm unable to read anything story-like. It's really strange. But the beginning I had no problem with. Factual stuff online I can read but I can't read a novel or listen to music.  I've seen other people say they had the same problem but it eventually came back.

 

Can you tell us more about your days. Are you bed ridden or are you able to get up and do a few things. Do you  have a husband or a friend you can lean on?  Is there any one thing that brings you pleasure? Or that used to bring you pleasure. Maybe we can find one tiny step you can take that might lead to bringing you to a better place.

 

I was pretty much in bed for three months so I know how hard it is to take that first step.

 

Actually,  when you think about it, you stretched yourself to read Nothing Works, you took the time to come here and type a post in answer to me.  And, since my world is so very small and narrow it sure made me feel better just to see that someone 'out there' had "spoken" to me. So you did all that and brightened someone else's day to boot! I've been laying on the bed most of the day trying to do breathing exercises to calm the tremors and anxiety. So thank you SO much!!!  You accomplished a lot, Rachie! 

[rachie]

I am out and about somewhat.  Not without difficulty. At first I was almost unable to leave the house. Shaking was so bad and terror and absolute dread was what I woke up to every day. Terrible suicidal ideation for a solid six months and crying all day long. Exercise sent me over the edge and I had so many physical malfunctions. Now it is there to a much lesser degree except the anxiety is so stubborn. I feel like the protracted withdrawal is the kindling and I am the fire with my thinking. But to champion myself I have been able to hang on to work with my husbands help. I am a pretty successful realtor. It has been really difficult. I won't drive my self to a lot of my showings depending on where they are. This is new since the w/d. I am having extreme difficulty with bridges and I live on a barrier island and they are a part of everyday life. I'm working with a really great therapist. Thinking back on this I do see progress. I lost 35 lbs. could hardly eat. I'm eating fine now. I'm going to restaurants some and I couldn't do that at first. I realized I don't have de-realization or De-personalization which I had with my other attempts. I have a super supportive husband who is being really patient with me. My current struggles are not feeling purpose, happy or motivated with non stop anxiety. I feel really lost in the world and stay looped in doomed thinking about ever being ok again even when I'm doing things despite the anxiety, I tend to think about how stuck I am. I keep thinking back to times when I genuinely felt happy, excited about my ideas and like I had so much to do. The contrast makes me realize I'm depressed and that wasn't why I got on the drugs. I wasn't this kind of depressed. BUT, let me say for sure healing is happening at a slow, non linear pace. I haven't thrown in the towel yet so I must believe I'm moving forward. I do a lot of praying, begging at times, and trying to surrender to where I am today. I go to yoga several days a week and walk in the woods or with friends. That was sooooo hard at first. It was a struggle just to stay in the room. It is getting easier too. I do believe distraction helps. I spend a lot of time on a lot we have pulling vines and clearing and planting. Physical labor grounds me. At first my muscles were so weak that was hard too. So, I am getting better and you will too! Time is the biggest healer of all. And more time. 💜

[Pollyjay]

Gosh, Rachie, you're doing far more than I am!!! You can be really proud of yourself for coming this far. I  admire you so muc!  There's no way I could hold down a job right now. So that's pretty incredible to me, considering how much anxiety you're dealing with.  Having a supportive husband is also huge! I thank God multiple times a day for mine. My heart goes out to those who are going through this completely alone. 

 

You said:

On 5/9/2022 at 9:23 AM, rachie said:

My current struggles are not feeling purpose, happy or motivated with non stop anxiety. I feel really lost in the world and stay looped in doomed thinking about ever being ok again even when I'm doing things despite the anxiety, I tend to think about how stuck I am. I keep thinking back to times when I genuinely felt happy, excited about my ideas and like I had so much to do.

 I know exactly how that feels.  I've never experienced this, as you say, "lost in the world" feeling before. So I know how frightening it is and  that's a huge source of my anxiety. Flopping around trying to figure out how to accept this new reality of our son having left home and my parent's being gone. 

 

Like you, I also do a lot of praying. Asking God to give me a passion and a purpose in life. When I'm writing in my journal I find myself writing out long prayers. It helps seeing them on paper. And writing them down has a calming effect. Someday when I'm better, I'll look back on them and be able to see how much God was looking after me and listening.  I'm praying for you too!!! I'm thinking of writing them in calligraphy with pen and nice ink. That would add another level of "distraction" if that's the right word. Maybe not distraction, but it would cause me to be more mindful and use a particular part of my brain. It may also prove to be more stimulating and not such a good idea, but I'll just have to try and see how it goes. 

 

I must say, I had a good day yesterday. The anxiety was much reduced from what I've come to expect every day. I was surprised how some of my old interests suddenly sparked up again! I wonder if you've noticed that on you're better days? I had the urge to design a greeting card in my computer art program.  I design and sell greeting cards online but haven't been able to even begin to turn my mind to anything like that while going through all this anxiety. The urge just popped up out of the blue. So that was a pleasant surprise!  Today it was gone, but just knowing it can still happen gives me hope.  We will recover, Rachie, in a zig zag, ducking and diving sort of pattern

 

As for the bridges. I think that's probably something you can address once you have some relief from the anxiety. And just tackle the shortest one first.  As long as you can manage with someone else driving you for now - if that's what you're doing. There's only so much we can subject ourselves to.

 

I'm glad that you are able to see how much progress you've made I know it's slow going. I hope you know that I and other people here care about you very much and are always ready to hear from you and read your posts. So please keep talking to us and brag about your accomplishments no matter how small they may seem to you. You really are making headway! 

 

 

[rachie]

Thank you PollyJay. I am praying for you too. It has been a long road and as Elbee helped me understand, we just need keep stretching. Not pushing but stretching. 💜💜💜

[rachie]

Anxiety is the beast for me. Still very debilitating and confusing. I still want to blame myself saying I'm creating this but I have definite physical waves so the truth is it is both. So trying to just let it be. I made a list of a whole bunch of symptoms and things I have trouble doing and described how I was 2 years ago and how I am today and despite still struggling daily there is definitely progress. My waves have shifted. Now I am having intense anxiety/heat/muscle tightness waves for days but that cycle up and down throughout the day. I have a moment where I think I'm through it and wham, here we go again. Before the waves would last for about 10 days solid and not let up at all. I guess I could see this as progress as well. Just wondering if anyone experienced this along the path of healing. I have less crying for sure and a little less depression. Still just so much intense fear, anxiety and feeling like I will never be ok. I know I really need to up my positive dialogue with myself. I am going to try to listen to a couple of inspiring things a day just to fill my mind with something besides my fearful runaway train wreck thoughts. This has been so flipping hard!!!! I'm in a bit of disbelief that it has been over 2 years of getting through the day but I soldier on. Also, watched a great documentary last night called Heal for anyone who is interested. And would love some inspiration from anyone who still had a ton of anxiety after two years but eventually came out of it. Hugs to all of you brave people. In ACA we are called fellow travelers and that seems to be true here too, fellow travelers on this brave journey of healing on all levels. 

[Greatful]

@rachie You are an inspiration to me. You have come a long way.  Somehow we march on even with the with the negative narrative in our brains, I am stuck like this, and all the usual things we say to ourselves.

 

Your perseverance and drive to get through another day is something I can relate to and will try to hold on to. If I remember right LOL, (my memory is so short), earlier I was reading  through some of Elbee thread and saw you were dealing with trauma also. This whole experience is bring up past trauma that my drugs dulled.  I can so relate to wondering what is trauma and what is Withdrawal.  Do you get flashbacks?  

I am also trying to taper off of Lamictal.  What dosage where you taking?  

 

Congratulations on being able to keep working.  That is a huge accomplishment when you are going through WD not to mention agoraphobia. 

 

You are doing this one day at a time.🤗  

[rachie]

Hi Greatful, thanks for checking in. First, I'm no longer taking the Lamictal. I tried microdosing about2.5mg but after a few months didn't notice a big change so I weaned off of it. I use Propanalol and Klonopin on occasion when I'm feeling pretty desperate. I work on my judgement of myself for taking them and there is a ton of that. I'm trying to see the end goal. I think my body gets stress overloaded and that sends me into a bad wave so if that is part of the calming down a few times a month I'm trying not to berate myself. I have such a need for surrender because I really don't know what helps and what doesn't at this point and even the information on this site is easy to use in negative self talk. 
    I'm doing the ACA work that Elbee speaks of. I've been in trauma therapy for a while and I think if I can do this work in the middle of this other w/d mess there is hope that it will all come together one day. I keep picking myself up. I just read through my whole thread from the beginning and it's been slow but I am making progress. I'm not crying much which is a change. I was always a runner. I can't run now. Every time I try even a light run I immediately afterwards hit a big wave both physically and emotionally. It is wild to watch it. Same thing every time, heat in my torso, swollen glands, hot nerve endings in hands and feet, shaky and so much more, AND every time I also start crying desperately, hating myself, feeling hopeless and wanting to die. It happens within hours sometimes and at least by the end of the day. I just don't think the average person could ever believe this is true and possible and I have trouble believing it is still a problem. My husband believes me because he witnesses it. 
    I'm not having picture flashbacks from the trauma but during this 2 years of withdrawal I have near nonstop de ja but feelings like the essence of another place is in my awareness and that is a version of flashback. One was the outlet mall. Always creeping around me. I don't even like the outlet mall but my therapist told me to just go there. I have this other random rest stop in Georgia, and of course my childhood home where the alcoholism and abuse happened is often creeping around me. I feel like these drugs and the trauma together sectioned off parts of my brain and stuck parts are trying to emerge. It's a lot. We are warriors for doing this. I know that was a lot of rambling but I hope it helps. I'm having a hard wave day today and I hate it but I still feel like I am getting better so that is evidence that I am. I will pray for your healing and wellness in my own spiritual way. In solidarity on this journey, love to you. 

[rachie]

My journey has been over twenty years on this AD drug roller coaster and it has been rough. I didn't get on them until almost 40 after a stress induced meltdown's . I tried about 5 or six times to withdraw from antidepressants starting first with Paxil with no knowledge of how to do it. I think it really messed me up. It was horrendously awful to put it mildly. Then the shuffle of antidepressants to deal with all of the misguided withdrawal attempts, Lamictal (for my chemical imbalance  ) and the occasional benzo to get through something. I believe I had Akithisia all along. I never felt good on the AD. Tons of anxiety like someone was about to push me out of a plane just trying to pay for something at a check out line and a constant internal tremor. After a slower 1 year taper I had my last dose two years ago. I'm still hanging in here but having so much anxiety still and am in the middle of a really bad wave. Shakiness, pounding of heart, etc. panic!!! I sometimes think about getting back on something. If I knew I would heal I would hang in here. I just don't know how long I can continue to barely function. I still feel no happiness and I am afraid to drive places beyond a small radius I have set for myself. I still cry, and have low level death wish and the myriad of physical symptoms. But not as bad as that first year which was daily sheer terror. I have a super supportive husband but I hate having him live with this way I am. I have a history of anxiety and childhood trauma issues that I am working on but I have to admit that now I don't know what is what. Sometimes I wonder if it is all in my head except for the heat, stabbing leg pain, itching, flu like and the rest that intensifies with the waves. I feel so isolated because I AM isolating and non of my friends and family are living in this fear. I think I'm feeling a bit defeated. Apparently I never wrote my introduction topic so here it is. I'm probably looking for some encouragement that continuing is worth it. And I am at the point where I want to take something to ease the pain but what is least harmful. But I always get here in a wave and then eventually it passes. Prayers for all of us dealing with this. 

[getofflex]

Previous post moved to your intro topic to keep your history all in one place.  Please post questions and discussion about your situation in this one thread, to avoid confusion and duplication of efforts.  Thank you.  

[Happy2Heal]

On 7/24/2022 at 9:48 PM, rachie said:

Just wondering if anyone experienced this along the path of healing. I have less crying for sure and a little less depression. Still just so much intense fear, anxiety and feeling like I will never be ok.

hi Rachie

I also have a trauma history and was misdiagnosed with all kinds of other things, and on psych meds for over 40 years (since age 18) all kinds of psych drugs as you can see in my signature

 

To answer your questions,  does it get better YES IT DOES!

and ALSO is it PTSD or is it Withdrawal=

It's hard to tell, but that fear and anxiety that you are talking about, that DOES go away.  YOU WILL HEAL 

in fact you are ALREADY healing. You can see that things have improved.

but sadly it *does* take a long time.

 

the good news is, you are now much closer to being at the point of full healing, and  may (in fact, from what I've read and seen over the 7 yrs I've been on this forum) you will likely see rapid improvements in how you are feeling.

You may still have waves, but they should also be less intense and probably shorter.

 

You are very close to the finish line.

 

and speaking as someone who FINALLY made it: It is WORTH IT!!  My life now is full and fun.  I have a feeling of wholeness and calmness that I don't recall ever having in my life before, now that I am off the psych drugs and learning to adjust to a drug free life.

I would guess that much of your current anxiety is neuro emotions from WD recovery. I couldn't say for sure, not being inside your mind or body.

In my experience of WD recovery, when the anxiety was part of WD, it didn't really respond much to things like meditation or deep breathing or yoga. Those things helped but they were more of a distraction really. A way to pass the time til the feeling went away or lessened. and it always at least lessened and eventually went away.

 

 

 

how has your sleep been?

 

 

I am wondering, and I think maybe a mod might be helpful in weighing in on this, but I am wondering if you might be having issues with the klonopin?

 

in your signature it says: Klonipin as needed throughout the process. .25 mostly, some .5, some .125,  2 to 12 times per mo.

do you still take klonopin?

 

or are you totally off it?

I have heard (but don't know myself, it's way beyond my scope of knowledge) but I've heard that even small doses of benzos can be addicting and may need to be tapered off,

and I don't know, but everything I learned about WD was to keep things steady,

so could taking a benzo, even infrequently, be messing up your WD recovery in some way?

I don't want to add to your anxiety by bringing this up and I am hopeful you've been able to do without the benzo

BUT if it is something that might possibly delay your recovery,

 

I hope that someone who knows about benzos,  can weigh in on this for you and reassure you- or at least let you know, one way or the other.

 

You're going great for hanging in all this time. I know, we all know, it's rough but you are DOING IT!!

You have a LOT to be proud about!!

 

 

PS about running- I was never a runner LOL but I always walked a lot partly because I don't drive.

 

during WD and for several years after being off all meds, I was VERY sensitive regarding exercise (just walking mostly, and not even that fast)

I couldn't walk after early afternoon or I would be awake ALL that night

I had to be careful not to over do it.

I am just now, in the past year or so, able to walk later in the day and not have it keep me awake all night.

So yes, it's def possible to have some issues several years out.

That said, OVERALL you WILL feel a LOT better and that will continue, you will continue to see more and more positive signs of healing

Please watch for them, and kind of hold on to them in a very intentional way, as it will help you heal more (I believe that, but I don't know that it's been scientifically proven lol at the very worst, what is it going to hurt for you to be looking for GOOD things instead of bad, RIGHT?!?  )

 

and when it comes to beliefs, I keep this simple sentence on my fridge  as it's so true

 

WE ARE WHAT WE THINK.

 

you are good to working on self talk, and the way you think about yourself.

 

Think about what you have endured so far!!
 

most people can not even imagine what WD recovery is like. it's HARD but you are DOING IT!!

 

you are going to be ok. ❤️

 

 

 

and I believe some day soonish, you will have NO problems running or doing anything else that you want to do!

 

Edited September 12, 2022 by Happy2Heal

[rachie]

Thank you so much for all of your encouragement. I am having some sleep issues this past week. For whatever reason i am having a pretty long, pretty intense wave. To respond to the Klonopin suggestions, I am freaky about taking it, and I actually take it in mostly small bits and act like I'm going to be addicted. I realize that I probably take 1 to 2 .5 pills a month for a total of 1 mg per month. When I'm really desperate I will take 1/4 or 1/2 a pill. So far I have spent 100 times more in worry about it than what I am actually doing. My bigger trigger is overdoing it when i feel the slightest bit better. For some reason I will dig a trench, chop down a tree, walk 4 miles in the blazing heat if I feel the slightest bit better and then I will have a pretty bad wave. The other day I went to yoga and it was hot yoga. I may have already mentioned this. I should have left but I didn't. I just can't tolerate the heat and i paid for it. I live in Florida and have always loved the heat but my body says no. My negative thinking and my pushing harder than I should are areas I need to improve. If I could start all over again i would take the 4 years I tried to get the courage to try to discontinue again and instead would have done a super, super, super slow taper instead but i just didn't have the info. By the time I got here I was 2/3 of the way through. I will hold on to your encouragement. Plus, I am in thereapy with a great therapist for the other stuff and do some 12 step work. blessings.   

 

 

P.S. I love this part of your history...

• Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
• Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
• Aug  2022 ❤️ loving life ❤️ 

[Happy2Heal]

1 hour ago, rachie said:

If I could start all over again i would take the 4 years I tried to get the courage to try to discontinue again and instead would have done a super, super, super slow taper instead but i just didn't have the info. By the time I got here I was 2/3 of the way through

oh so many of us feel the same way!! I didn't have the info either, and to be honest, even when I was told that WD was real, I had been so brainwashed by psychiatry for so many decades and had come to believe all their lies or misrepresentations, that I still had a hard time believing in WD.

and I, too, would be in a nice window and think, oh  it's all over, I can just resume life as usual, but then NOPE a wave would hit. So I totally get just wanting to live your life as normal when you finally feel good enough, and it sucks that in WD recovery, that might mean paying for it later. 

but at some point you *are* going to be able to go back to life as it was before this happened, so it's good you are holding on to the things you enjoyed doing in the past. 

 

WD recovery is so outside of most "normal" experiences that it's  hard to believe that it can be as tough as it is.  It's hard to believe that these drugs are as powerful as they are, they are passed out like candy so much of the time.

 

You're doing fantastic for where you are. You have been very careful now that you understand how difficult this process can be and that is great.

 

you just focus on taking good care of yourself and being super kind to yourself.

Think of your loved ones and how you would want to treat them and comfort them if they were going thru this kind of a rough patch, and be that kind and caring to yourself!!

 

 

yes life can be good again, in fact, for me, it's never been better.  There is a great feeling of peace and even pride, I guess, in realizing that I can handle whatever comes my way. I have the tools to get thru a rough time and I know when to ask for help and I have built a good support system as well.

 

I can see you are doing a lot of that work yourself and should feel proud of how hard you have worked.

 

Hot yoga eh? I just learned about this, and as I strongly dislike the heat, I was not interested.... but I do enjoy hatha yoga.

It feel helps to ground me.

anyway it sounds like overall you've got a pretty healthy lifestyle and you're keeping a positive attitude, those are things that you've got in your favor

 

 

 

 

 

[Vasherr]

Hi, @rachie,

 

I can't seem to find if You are still taking low dose lamotrigine, in lamotrigine topic I have found Your post about starting it, but no info if You have discontinued or still taking, if it wouldn't be a problem please let me know how this experiment went

 

I surely get the part with overexerting Yourself and getting hit with a wave, I think I have done the same a week ago, as I was feeling meh, but not really bad for months now and started going climbing and playing volleyball, and I think that my body is saying to me "chill out dude", so I think that I will chill out for quite some time to really stabilise, and maybe even to the end of my future taper. It hurts because I was a rather active person, but we do what we must.

 

Wishing You a lifelong window!

V.

[rachie]

I ended up discontinuing the Lamictal. It was not noticeable in helping and I just didn't want to add another pharmaceutical if it wasn't helping. I see runners and I think I want to be a happy runner again one day!!!! For now it's light yoga and walking and sometimes walking is too much if really hot. Blessings to you.