Lilly998: withdrawal for 5 months

[Lilly998]

Hello everyone , I am talking to u now and I'm in my weakest moment in my life.

I have been on Escitalopram for about 1 year and clompiramine for 6 months, my Pshyc has tapered Escitalopram and doubled the dose of Clomp so I was taking 50mg clompiramine but at this time I have suffered from Brain fog which "thank God" was the first time to have and i talked to my doctor and told me that it isn't known that this drug cause this side effect, I wasn't convinced so I reduced the dose to 25 mg. And this problem has resolved 🙏🏻❤

And I was on this dose for about 3 months then this Brain fog has returned again !! And I was doing Exams. Bec I didn't know that there was something called Withdrawal I have decided to quit taking this medicine without talking my doctor Bec I have already lost my trust in since I wasn't informed abt the critical side effect of these Toxins.

 

 

The Journey of Hell has started from this time and the Brain fog l had has become so Intense and severe. I was forgetting nearly everything and my short term memory has been Zero in addition to slurred speech and lack of concentration. Even the little stuff requires Strong mental effort which I was empty of !!

 

But thank God a window of about 5 days have reminded me that I am Alive again. I was so Awake and Active but I have returned to withdrawal again.

 

I have been on this for 5 months till now and I only had one window for 5 days .. Sorry to say this but my patience and Hope are decreasing each day and i dont know what to do.

 

Does any one of U knows what has helped u to Recover ?! 

But plz don't suggest Excercis Bec I suffer from muscle aches 

And will my Recovery come so soon or the Journey is still long??

 

Pray for me plz ❤🤲🏻

[Shep]

Hi, Lilly.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

Please let us know more about how you are tapering Escitalopram. How fast are you tapering? 

 

As you tell us more about your recent changes, we can better guide you in setting up a taper.

 

Here is some information on tapering the drugs you're on:

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

Tips for tapering off escitalopram (Lexapro)

 

Tips for tapering off clomipramine (Anafranil)

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

More information (and an example of a signature) is here - How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Please continue to use this thread to document your taper and to ask questions. 

[Lilly998]

I have made the signature recently cuz my brain was so foggy before 

And I also have taken some supplements but not on a daily basis 

Omega 3 

Bit C 

2 IM inj of Vit B12

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Lilly998

 

What other symptoms do you have that you think might be withdrawal symptoms? How is your sleep?

 

12 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

2 IM inj of Vit B12

 

How often do you get this? How many milligrams of vitamin B12 are in the injections? Why are you getting these injections?

[Lilly998]

@Altostrata muscle aches, brain fog,very poor concentration and memory, speaking difficulty, no emotions to anything, my sleep is good but sometimes I suffer from insomnia, totally feeling abnormal 

 

I have vit b12 only once at the beginning of my withdrawal so that it may help in concentration I don't remember what was the dose exactly.

[Lilly998]

Withdrawal for 7 months with 2 short windows

 

Peace every one ❤

 

It's 7 months now in my WD and i am in my last year of college, I don't attend and I can't study or even read anything " no concentration or understanding or memorizing" 

 

I have stopped 2 meds Cipralex and Anafranil "Clompiramine " but the problem is that I stopped Anafranil too quickly I have gone from 25mg to 0 !! 

 

Is that the reason I am not having any WINDOWS except for 2 short Windows during this long time ?! 

 

I only had a window of five days then after 4 months I had a window of 3 days .. my doctor has suggested to reinstant Cipralex by small dose or to wait until healing occurs but my question is if I chose to wait until healing occurs will the WD last way longer or I am near !! 

 

I am worried that I am gonna not pass this year if am still in this situation and also worried to take those **** again and start from zero again ?!

 

Any Advice ! ❤

 

And also is it normal to feel like I am not here at all, also not having the desire to anything ?

 

Edited November 7, 2021 by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with intro topic and spacing

[ChessieCat]

5 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

I only had a window of five days then after 4 months I had a window of 3 days

 

What a lot of members do not realise is that a window can be any period of time.  So if you have a short period of time during the day, even as short as 15 minutes, where you notice that you feel improvement, that is still a window.

 

Please check out the links in Post #1 of this topic:

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

[ChessieCat]

Also have a look at these.  The video gives a really good representation of what our brain might be doing:

 

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

What is Happening in Your Brain

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

One Theory of Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome

What is Withdrawal Syndrome?



[Lilly998]

@Kiasofiahello,  I'd like to ask if u still have WD from Escitalopram esp u have tapered other drugs , and what kind of adverse reaction occurs when u reinstated Escitalopram as in WD we are already in Hell so how can I differentiate btw WD symptoms and adverse reaction plz 🌸

[ChessieCat]

@Lilly998

 

On 11/24/2021 at 5:46 PM, Lilly998 said:

@Cage190congratulations !! This gives me so much hope I needed it a lot 🌸

But I wanna ask u from 2017 till 2021 was u experiencing WD non stop along this period ? I ask Bec I am having WD since 8 months and I only had meds for a year and half and I wondered if I it would be a good idea to reinstate again as I am losing patience .. so is reinstating is the Only way ?? 

Can u give advice to me plz 

 

If you wish to try reinstatement, please do NOT follow the suggested dose made by Cage190 here without seeking the suggestion of the staff.  I will let the staff know that you need assistance:

 

Cage190-my-cold-turkey-history

[Lilly998]

@ChessieCat Thanks a lot 💛 , I wasn't planning to go on the same dose but I wanted to know If reinstating makes things better or it would make the situation more difficult?

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 minutes ago, Lilly998 said:

@ChessieCat Thanks a lot 💛 , I wasn't planning to go on the same dose but I wanted to know If reinstating makes things better or it would make the situation more difficult?

Unfortunately, there is no way to predict that, it is a very individual thing. It looks like the sooner u reinstate the better, but some people reinstate after just weeks off and get a bad reaction and others reinstate a year after and find relief within days. So reinstating can help, make u worst or not help at all and then u have to taper again. To my opinion it is a Russian roulette and should be considered if ur symptoms are unbearable. I do ruminate about reinstating every day cause my symptoms are unbearable , but i don’t dare to do so after 13 months off this poisons. 

[Lilly998]

@JesusSavemefromWD Thanks alot, it seems so and I totally understand ur fear of even trying to touch those deadly poisons i have the same feeling but I wondered cuz I am literally stuck to my bed/couch I can't even walk I also am in my last year of college and now I am missing my exams and I can't even read a slide even if I read I can't understand and it is hurting me so much. I am missing my Family though we are living wiz each other but I no longer can stay wiz someone in the same room I can't communicate .. even the normal talks are so loud and irritating me 

 

Sorry for my negative reply but I needed to talk to someone 💔

 

May God heal us all.. He is the only HEALER ❤

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, Lilly998 said:

@JesusSavemefromWD Thanks alot, it seems so and I totally understand ur fear of even trying to touch those deadly poisons i have the same feeling but I wondered cuz I am literally stuck to my bed/couch I can't even walk I also am in my last year of college and now I am missing my exams and I can't even read a slide even if I read I can't understand and it is hurting me so much. I am missing my Family though we are living wiz each other but I no longer can stay wiz someone in the same room I can't communicate .. even the normal talks are so loud and irritating me 

 

Sorry for my negative reply but I needed to talk to someone 💔

 

May God heal us all.. He is the only HEALER ❤

I understand all ur thoughts and I feel ur suffering. I am completely bedridden/housebound myself and  I do wish I had reinstated within the first few weeks of quitting, but I thought I’d be ok if I endured this given that I was on this poison for only 3.5 weeks. Turns out I was in for a long long suffering. It might be that reinstating would help and as I said I consider it every day due to the severity of my case. May God help us all …. I am sorry u suffer so much , this is unbelievable….. Let me know if u do reinstate. 

[Kiasofia]

12 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

I'd like to ask if u still have WD from Escitalopram esp u have tapered other drugs , and what kind of adverse reaction occurs when u reinstated Escitalopram as in WD we are already in Hell so how can I differentiate btw WD symptoms and adverse reaction plz 🌸

Hi @Lilly998

You posted this in someone else's thread, so I moved it here to your own thread. You can read my story here. I was told by a psychiatrist to reinstate 10mg lexapro (my full dose after being 6 month off). This is very dangerous. I was actually feeling ok, compared to how horrific I felt after reinstatement. So for me it was easy to tell. This forum advises 0.5mg escitalopram for reinstatement or 1mg of the half as strong citalopram to start with.

 

 

[Kiasofia]

16 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

I wasn't planning to go on the same dose but I wanted to know If reinstating makes things better or it would make the situation more difficult?

I see your trying to decide on reinstatement. Have you read this:

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

You have been off the drugs longer than what is ideal for reinstatement. If you do try then it should be a very very small dose. It is also hard to say if it is escitalopram or clomipramine or both that are causing withdrawal and which should be reinstated.

 

How were you feeling when reducing escitalopram?

How were you feeling at 5mg escitalopram?

Why did you start taking clomipramine?

How were you feeling when you had stopped escitalopram but were still taking clomipramine?

[Lilly998]

@JesusSavemefromWD Thanks for ur kind reply ❤

[Lilly998]

@Kiasofia Thanks so much 

I stopped Escitalopram gradually but was faster than recommend here, so I began experiencing WD which I didn't know sth abt it , so I also stopped Clompiramine CT thinking that the symptoms I had are from it.

I think WD may be more related to Clompiramine as it is an old TCA and I knew it is from the most difficult to stop in addition to I stopped it CT from 25 to 0 !!

[Kiasofia]

@Lilly998 You were taking a very high dose of escitalopram (40mg). Normal dose is 10mg and maximum dose is 20mg. It is a very strong antidepressant and many struggle to quit it and suffer withdrawal symptoms. 5mg is a high dose to quit at. So it cannot be ruled out as the cause of your withdrawal symptoms. But you can also be suffering withdrawal from stopping clomipramine 25mg CT, in addition. Or instead. I cannot be sure either way.

 

Have you read the information about reinstatement? Is it something you want to try? If yes, tag me and I will ask for input from more moderators about what to reinstate and what dose.

[Lilly998]

@Kiasofia Yes I will give it a try hoping things get better !

But I wasn't on 40mg for so long it was only for 1 month or 2 " and my silly Dr has told me that 40mg isn't the highest dose " how ridiculous I was?

 

Anyways thanks for ur Help 💛

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, Lilly998 said:

@Kiasofia Yes I will give it a try hoping things get better !

But I wasn't on 40mg for so long it was only for 1 month or 2 " and my silly Dr has told me that 40mg isn't the highest dose " how ridiculous I was?

 

Anyways thanks for ur Help 💛

You are not ridiculous, your doctor is like mine was and every doctor prescribing ADs for non serious reasons….. I  am praying for u and all victims of ADs …. Please hang in there 

[Kiasofia]

11 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

Yes I will give it a try hoping things get better !

Ok, I will discuss your case with other moderators and then you will get advice.

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Lilly998

 

Why did you switch from escitalopram to clomipramine?

 

On 11/25/2021 at 7:50 PM, Lilly998 said:

@Kiasofia Thanks so much 

I stopped Escitalopram gradually but was faster than recommend here, so I began experiencing WD which I didn't know sth abt it , so I also stopped Clompiramine CT thinking that the symptoms I had are from it.

I think WD may be more related to Clompiramine as it is an old TCA and I knew it is from the most difficult to stop in addition to I stopped it CT from 25 to 0 !!

 

Did you develop withdrawal symptoms while you were going off escitalopram? When did these symptoms appear? 

 

Did they go away when you were on clomipramine for about a month?

[Lilly998]

@Altostrata

I didn't switch to Clompiramine , it was already prescribed for the original problem "OCD" together wiz Escitalopram.

 

Yes I developed WD during reducing the dose of Escitalopram after 1 month from reducing it and WD resolved within 1 month Bec I was still taking both Escitalopram and Clompiramine.

 

As there was no space btw being completely off Escitalopram and CT of Clompiramine,  I can't tell WD is Bec any of them 

[Altostrata]

12 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

Yes I developed WD during reducing the dose of Escitalopram after 1 month from reducing it and WD resolved within 1 month Bec I was still taking both Escitalopram and Clompiramine.

 

Do you mean your withdrawal symptoms started in May 2020? They went away in a month? You had no withdrawal symptoms after that? Or did you get more withdrawal symptoms every time you reduced escitalopram?

 

Did you have withdrawal symptoms after you went off escitalopram in February 2021?

[Lilly998]

@Altostrata the dates I put in Signature aren't accurate but the dose that was effective for me was 20 mg Escitalopram and 25 mg Clompiramine "this is the dose that I stayed on for the longest time " but before that the Dr was just trying to find the dose that will work for me and I didn't experience WD until Jan 2021 this was the 1st time I experience WD that stayed for a month and then resolved but after I have totally been off Escitalopram and also Clompiramine The WD has returned again and this was since 8 months

[Altostrata]

1 hour ago, Lilly998 said:

I didn't experience WD until Jan 2021 this was the 1st time I experience WD that stayed for a month and then resolved but after I have totally been off Escitalopram and also Clompiramine The WD has returned again and this was since 8 months

 

Withdrawal symptoms from escitalopram stayed for a month (February-March 2021) but went away completely? Was this before or after you took 50mg clomipramine for a few days?

[Lilly998]

19 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

Withdrawal symptoms from escitalopram stayed for a month (February-March 2021) but went away completely? Was this before or after you took 50mg clomipramine for a few days?

It was before taking 50mg 

[Altostrata]

How have your symptoms changed since April 2021, when you were off both escitalopram and clomipramine?

[Lilly998]

@Altostrata

It has improved a very little .. my brain fog was so severe at Beginning of April "that I can't understand the normal talks "

I was also finding so much difficulty in speaking, I experienced crying spells with no reason, I was having so severe muscle aches.

Now I understand when someone talks to me but absolutely can't understand the stuff that requires thinking,memorizing anything that is scientific.

The Derealization is still the same.

Apathy and Anhedonia are the same.

Brain fog still exists.

Physical pain still exists.

 

Is reinstating recommended in my case ?

[Altostrata]

You might try 1mg clomipramine and see what that does. The prescription liquid may be available in your country, or you might need to get a pharmacy to compound a liquid form so you can take 1mg with an oral syringe.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[Lilly998]

On 12/12/2021 at 10:49 PM, Altostrata said:

You might try 1mg clomipramine and see what that does. The prescription liquid may be available in your country, or you might need to get a pharmacy to compound a liquid form so you can take 1mg with an oral syringe.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

Hi alto , I didn't want to try reinstating as I got a panick from this drugs .. I hoped it will get better through days and patience but it is 13 months off now and nothing changed .. I am taking omega3 , vit D, magnesium but it seems they don't help in any way .. it is Ramadan now and I am fasting too but nothing seems to be working with Protracted Withdrawal 

 

Is there any advice u can give me !

Is there any brain scan to diagnose my issue or to predict when I am gonna heal ?

Is there any herbs that can make me better I have heard of ashwaganda, st John does any one tried it and got better ?

[Shep]

19 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

Is there any brain scan to diagnose my issue or to predict when I am gonna heal ?

 

We don't know of any type of brain scan or other procedure, but this thread may help with the uncertain timeline:

 

Are We There Yet? How Long Is Withdrawal Going To Take?

 

19 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

Is there any herbs that can make me better I have heard of ashwaganda, st John does any one tried it and got better ?

 

Please research these by using the search feature or googling "surviving antidepressants" + [name of supplement]

 

We only recommend fish oil and magnesium. Supplements such as St. John's Wort are definitely not recommended due to the affect on serotonin. 

 

You may find some help here:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Try to pick techniques to target your symptoms and make them a daily part of your life. 

 

19 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

it is Ramadan now and I am fasting too but nothing seems to be working with Protracted Withdrawal 

 

While it's good to observe important holidays, please be careful that you're able to safely fast without feeling worse due to drops in blood sugar. Do as much self care as you can. 

[Lilly998]

@Shepthanks alot 

Ur efforts are really appreciated

 

But I'd like to ask if there is any success stories of ones who totally recovered after 1 year from CT at a 25 mg dose , is that a thing that I can hope ? 

 

I hear many success stories but I see that ppl not totally recovered , I see them after 3 years they still suffer from symptoms tinnitus for example ?

 

And is 10% taper method preventive from WD symptoms as I have seen ppl tapering by 10% and also suffered from WD 

 

 

[Ariel]

Hello @Lilly998

I'm sorry you are suffering from withdrawal syndrome. Glad you have found SA. 

 

Here's a link to the success stories topic: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/

 

There's no way to know or predict when we will recover. The not-knowing is part of the challenge. We must learn to live with the uncertainty. 

Shep has shared some important links with you (see post above). Both of those help topics are excellent resources to support us in learning how to navigate this difficult iatrogenic illness. 

 

I suggest you do not compare yourself too closely with other cases. Perhaps you've noticed the variability of peoples drug histories. There are no two stories that are exactly the same, each of us presents a singular instance with highly specific timelines, circumstances, and past experiences. Even if you were to find another member who went off the same drug at the same dose in the same way at the same time, it really doesn't tell you anything about their potential outcomes or yours. There are endless individual factors that set each one of us apart. Your physiology and life experience and trajectory are unique to you; and the beautiful, mysterious workings of the body and how it heals are so vastly complex that it is beyond any currently existing scientific models. 

 

I think you are looking for reassurance, and hope. The success stories are wonderful in their demonstration and illustration of recovery. Allow what other members share to inspire you without losing yourself in 1:1 comparisons. Many, many people who have been ill before you have healed. There is no reason to think that you won't, too. It just takes the time it takes. In the meantime, you have come to the right place. I encourage you to explore Shep's links and the numerous other wonderful resources available across the site. SA is a treasure trove of wisdom and coping strategies. There are skills to learn and tools to practice using on your journey. We cannot change the fact of withdrawal, but there's a lot we can do to help make our experience more manageable and reduce suffering. 

 

Here's a link to one of my favorite help topics about acceptance: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/3533-acceptance-and-hope/#comment-40019

Acceptance is one of the most impactful techniques we can practice. 

 

All the best to you, 

A. 

 

 

 

 

[Lilly998]

@Ariel Thanks alot ariel , I already have seen many of this links and what I have said in the previous comment is from what I have seen in this links .. i have seen many ppl who just decided to adapt to the new me they became.. and it is also common to see ppl after 2 or 3 years to be just improved by 50-60% .. and it is also repeated in many success stories that they still have some symptoms but of course not in the same intensity they had before 

 

I am not being anti-optimistic I am just trying to be realistic in order not to freak out when encountering what ppl have encountered

 

It is just unbearable test that I am passing through .. I swear that I have been accepting all what is happening in the past 12 months but I just can't take it anymore !! I just can't it is beyond my capabilities and I think it is logical to have difficulty in accepting WD symptoms to last for years and to steal ur life just by f****n prescription paper ..

It is not a suffering for days or weaks to easily accept it .. I hope u understand