Lilly998: withdrawal for 5 months

[Lilly998]

 A REMINDER FOR ME ❤️ 

 

MY pattern of symptoms IMPROVING 

(APPROXIMATELY)

 

1 month to 3 months off : Crying spells for no reason, High sensitivity to light and sound, Extreme Sensitivity to any Physical touch , Excessive Sweating , Persistent Brain fog that i cant understand normal talks and cant participate in it , Slurred speech, No concentration, Memory problems , No emotions/anhedonia *cant even SMILE*, No appetite , Physical pain throughout my WHOLE body/ itching or burning sensation.

 

3 months to 13 months off : No crying spells for no reason 💹

My sensitivity to light and sound has greatly decreased      💹

My sensitivity to physical touch has greatly decreased        💹

No excessive sweating and No slurred speech                      💹

Brain fog improved by 5%-10% i think                                     💹

( that i can understand normal talks)

Thank God i can smile again and laugh little                           💹

still cant function , cant proceed in my uni , Persistent Brain fog, No concentration, Memory problems , No emotions/anhedonia , No appetite , the physical pain comes and goes but even when it goes i still dont have my strength back and still dont have the ability to do any physical work/effort.

 

 

I PRAY THAT I RETURN THE GIRL I KNOW .. I PRAY I BECOME NORMAL AGAIN .. I PRAY THAT I RETURN TO MY UNI AND ENJOY MY LIFE

I PRAY I CAN ENJOY DELICIOUS FOOD AND SHOPPING .. I PRAY THAT I CAN ENJOY GATHERING WIZ MY FAMILY .. I PRAY I CAN REMEBER THE BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES I HAD BEFORE STOOPING AD .. I PRAY MY EMOTIONS COME BACK TO ME .. I PRAY THAT I RETURN THE KIND HEARTED GIRLS I WAS BEFORE

 

 

[Lilly998]

I wonder if anyone can tell me is there scientific papers/articles/ statistics about no of patients suffering from Protracted Withdrawal syndrome 

as i have seen a comment from @Altostrata saying that most of people recovers within months and only little who requires more bec they have greater sensitivity towards AD , does that mean that my dr was right when she told me that she never heard of someone having WD for 6 months ( at that time when i lastly visited her) 

and if PAWS are related to fast tapering why the dr told me my case was uncommon though i was just following her method of tapering ?

 

i just wanna know if we( the people suffering from PAWS for a year or more ) are such a minority or what ????

[Lilly998]

is it normal after taking Magnesium to feel that there is sth going on my brain , i feel sth like moving in my brain and then my head pressure increases .. is it a part of its effect or what 

i was taking 500mg magnesium oxide and then noticed that moderators suggest starting by smaller doses but since in my country there are no smaller doses i have grinded it and taking about 40-50 mg

after i take it i feel my head pressure ( that i already have due to WD) inc but other than that no change in other symptoms

@Shep @Kiasofia

[ChessieCat]

43 minutes ago, Lilly998 said:

scientific papers/articles/ statistics about no of patients suffering from Protracted Withdrawal syndrome 

 

hengartner-2020-protracted-withdrawal-syndrome-after-stopping-antidepressants-a-descriptive-quantitative-analysis-of-consumer-narratives-from-a-large-internet-forum

 

Search results for PAWS  in the Success Stories forum:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/search/?q=PAWS

[Altostrata]

If you don't feel well after taking a small amount of magnesium, don't take it.

[Lilly998]

@Altostrata isn't that a part of its effect as it crosses BBB ? 

And does grinding it make it loses its efficacy ?

 

[Altostrata]

Grinding magnesium doesn't cause it to lose efficacy. It can be better to take in small amounts in water, as a drink thoughout the day. If you don't like its effect, don't take it.

[Lilly998]

today i woke up with strange sensation in my right arm .. i am feeling some degree of disability in my right arm and also my right leg i can not move them Normally 

i surely know it is from Protracted withdrawal but i dont know what exactly causes it as i am now 14 months off and i havent felt this before from the beginning of withdrawal .. it is not pins and needles sensation it is some degree of disability 

 

any info ?

 

[Shep]

3 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

today i woke up with strange sensation in my right arm .. i am feeling some degree of disability in my right arm and also my right leg i can not move them

 

Did you do anything yesterday that might have caused sore or cramped muscles? If you don't feel it's related to withdrawal and it's not from overdoing it, you may want to get checked out by a doctor if you're not able to move them.

[Lilly998]

On 5/30/2022 at 9:18 PM, Shep said:

 

Did you do anything yesterday that might have caused sore or cramped muscles? If you don't feel it's related to withdrawal and it's not from overdoing it, you may want to get checked out by a doctor if you're not able to move them.

Yes I took 100mg dose of magnesium oxide .. it is not my 1st time to take Mag but it is my 1st to take this dose.. whenever I take Mag I feel there is sth happening in my brain no worsening in my condition but I just feel like some movement in my brain ..

 

Allhamdullah my right side returned normal but I don't what does Mag caused to make my right side feels like this ?

[Lilly998]

Even though the right side of my body returned normal but now I have so weeeak muscles in all my body even a cup of water feels heavy to my arm !! 

 

This wasn't my case for 2-3 months I was having no strength but not that much of body weakness I thought that my physical symptoms has improved .. why it became like this ??

 

Also is it normal that I haven't experienced Windows since 8 months straight ?

What I know is that the longer u are off meds the more frequent u gonna have Windows .. why it is the opposite happening for me .. I have experienced a window 1 month off that stayed for 5 days 

And another one at 5 months off that stayed for 3 days 

 

Note : at the beginning of my WD I was taking vit b12 injections .. 2 doses of selenium I think.. few doses of vit C 

Are they were helping me to have Windows?? 

 

[Shep]

On 6/3/2022 at 2:12 PM, Lilly998 said:

Yes I took 100mg dose of magnesium oxide .. it is not my 1st time to take Mag but it is my 1st to take this dose.. whenever I take Mag I feel there is sth happening in my brain no worsening in my condition but I just feel like some movement in my brain ..

 

 

You may want to avoid magnesium for now. You can google and find foods that are high in magnesium. Eating foods high in a vitamin can be a safer way of getting that nutrient than in a supplement, which tend to be more potent. 

 

On 6/3/2022 at 2:23 PM, Lilly998 said:

Also is it normal that I haven't experienced Windows since 8 months straight ?

What I know is that the longer u are off meds the more frequent u gonna have Windows .. why it is the opposite happening for me .. I have experienced a window 1 month off that stayed for 5 days 

And another one at 5 months off that stayed for 3 days 

 

Unfortunately, the windows and waves pattern is very unpredictable. But the fact that you've had a couple of windows is a good sign. Try not to worry about not having any for a long time - recovery is a very lengthy process for many of us. 

 

On 6/3/2022 at 2:23 PM, Lilly998 said:

Note : at the beginning of my WD I was taking vit b12 injections .. 2 doses of selenium I think.. few doses of vit C 

Are they were helping me to have Windows?? 

 

Many people find the B vitamins to be too stimulating to take during withdrawal, but others have reported it helped. You'll have to track when you were taking them and see if it lines up with your windows. It's possible you were able to tolerate them more at the beginning of withdrawal than now due to the way withdrawal makes us hypersensitive. This is something Altostrata, the founder of this site, wrote:

 

On 5/24/2011 at 10:59 PM, Altostrata said:

My guess is: The first phase of withdrawal, the acute phase, is the initial shock of withdrawal at the target receptors, with the most defined symptoms, such as brain zaps and nausea and possibly waves of unusually intense "depression" and "anxiety" -- actually, emotions generated by the neurological upset. Later, hyper-reactivity and autonomic instability take over. Often the autonomic instability causes wide hypersensitivity to drugs, supplements, and even foods.

 

So it makes sense that symptoms change over time and new sensitivities can emerge.

 

So if you do wish to add back in B12 (or any other supplement), please do so at a very low dose to see how your body reacts to it. You may be more sensitive to it now than you were before.

[Lilly998]

Thanks a lot Shep 🤗

 

[Shep]

You're welcome, Lilly.

[Lilly998]

can anyone assure me for this plz 

 

*i have came by a paper talking about AD effects on the ASTROCYTES and that it causes a dysfunction in it in addition to mitochondrial damage and decrease in the cell viability 

 

is this (damage) happening to anyone who takes hellish AD ?

is that what is happening to us considering our mental symptoms ?

is this damage reversible can astrocytes regenerate again or can mitochondrial damage resolve ????

 

* also regarding this line how is the odd ratio of cognitive impairment is higher for people less than 65 year shouldn't it be the opposite ?

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5777788/#:~:text=

A meta-analysis conducted by Moraros et al. revealed that antidepressant usage was associated with an increased odds of some types of cognitive impairment or dementia%2C and consistent results were revealed among two populations who were aged ≥65 (odds ratio (OR)%3D1.65) or <65 years (OR%3D3.25) [25

[Lilly998]

also i had a test that shows low ferritin level .. should i take ferritin supplements or i should avoid supplements during my WD ?

also there is no single ingredient supplement in my country if i decide to take iron supplements it will include vit C and cyanocobalamine together wiz ferrious fumarate !

 

[ChessieCat]

ferritin-too-low-iron-supplements-anemia

 

vitamin-b12-aka-cobalamin-essential-for-mood-nervous-system

 

vitamin-c-ascorbic-acid-or-ascorbate

 

what-helps-what-doesnt-supplements-herbs-vitamins-amino-acids-etc

 

When trying anything new SA suggests only trying a small amount and only making one change at a time; so you wouldn't make an AD reduction and try a new supplement at the same time.

 

You could ask your doctor what foods you could eat to increase your iron intake.

 

I suggest that you do your research to see if you can get a single iron supplement; ask the staff in the chemist/pharmacy. If you cannot get a single supplement and you need to take it, then you will need to make the decision about whether you do need to take it; ask your doctor.  Low iron can cause tiredness.  Do some research on symptoms of iron deficiency.

 

Another option you have is to try B12 (some members find B vitamins activating) and Vitamin C separately if you can get them, and then if you know that you can take them with no issues then you could buy the complex. 

 

Remember to get a follow up test to see if whether you eat/take is helping.  You might then be able to reduce the dose.  I was low in Vit D so doctor prescribed a high dose but did not tell me to follow up and I was taking a high dose for a long time until I did my own research.

 

the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable

 

 

Edited June 23, 2022 by ChessieCat

[Lilly998]

@ChessieCat thanks 🤗

[Lilly998]

I dont know if i can tolerate this longer than i had endured .. God i want ur help i have endured so much i just cant imagine waiting for a miracle for longer than this.. i became a totally different person than i was i now hate life i hate to the level that pray/wish i die every day .. i just cant believe that the dr who prescribed me this **** is enjoying her life and her life is normal while i am burning in hell for 15 months now.. i just can't take it anymore wallahi 

The fact that i wake up everyday repeating my sufferings , acting like a robot or zombie laying down the bed scrolling on my phone till night comes so that i can sleep to wake up the next day has extremely destroyed me enough.. no need to mention that i am now a burden to my family that i thank god for them i even cant make my own food .. also the fact that my faith is decreasing every day i am in this torture is really heavy on me .. every day i wake up trying to search for a solution a remedy a cure that could help me and restore my normal/old self i came back with more desperation than i had it even gives me massive horror when i research and find what this ad will cause to someones brain,nerve endings,desensitization of serotonin receptors that in some cases may be permanent,causes ahedonia and pssd that may take years to resolve or even permanent, makes u more vulnerable to depression, inc suicidality, cognitive difficulties for long term 

 

I really don't know a poision that i knew about in my toxicology course tha could cause all of this whithout causing ur death it will prison u in all of these sufferings for unknown duration (u even don't know if u are there yet) without causing ur death to end ur sufferings 

 

 

 

 

[Lilly998]

There is no need to wars .. just have this pills for 6 months or more (and in rare cases for 1 day) and u gonna destroy  at least half of the population 

 

Regarding this till now i dont know why there are 50% who dont experience any form of WD even acute according to dr mark horowitz papers ??

 

Also why some people experiencing acute WD dor only 1/2 months while others experience it for many months or even years ??

 I heard it is related to the duration u were on drugs/ the doses u were taking/ how u tapered but this can't be the only factors bec i know many people who take the approximately the same doses for a year or longer like my situation and were not knowing anything of 10% taper and they have done it well .. some of them were having WD for a month or so ad then recovered .. is it a genetic/epigenetic related? 

 

DOes quitting CT cause a damage/loss of nerve endings/receptors 

 

[Ariel]

@Lilly998

 

I'm so sorry you're suffering. 

Healing can take a long time, but the damage is not permanent, and you will heal. 

 

I know that can be hard to believe when we are going through such difficulty. 

We just have to keep telling ourselves and each other that healing is possible, and healing is happening. 

 

That is why we practice acceptance and patience and try to use the non-drug coping techniques as well as we can.

It doesn't take away all the pain, we still have to live through it, but it makes things easier when we practice constructive ways to manage this challenging experience. 

 

 

8 hours ago, Lilly998 said:

every day i wake up trying to search for a solution a remedy a cure that could help me and restore my normal/old self i came back with more desperation than i had it even gives me massive horror when i research and find what this ad will cause to someones brain,nerve endings,desensitization of serotonin receptors that in some cases may be permanent,causes ahedonia and pssd that may take years to resolve or even permanent, makes u more vulnerable to depression, inc suicidality, cognitive difficulties for long term 

 

I suggest you take a break from searching and scrolling. As you have noticed: "i came back with more desperation than i had it even gives me massive horror when i research"

You are making things harder on yourself by engaging in this behavior. It's increasing your anxiety and causing unnecessary stress.

 

Instead, try to focus on ways to help yourself by practicing self-care, doing calming activities (this doesn't necessarily mean you will feel calm, but subconsciously it will be soothing to your brain and nervous system), resting, experimenting with wholesome, positive ways to distract from symptoms. It's in your power to avoid making things worse.

 

See also: Techniques for Managing Cold Turkey Withdrawal

 

I'm sorry it's so hard right now, Lilly. 

Please help yourself by being your own best friend and taking gentle care.

Practice non-drug ways to soothe, distract, get through the day. Avoid doing things that make you feel worse and create undue stress. 

Remember that the pain is temporary and it will pass. It gets better.

Healing is happening all the time, even when we don't consciously feel it. 

 

In solidarity and support,

A.

 

 

 

[Lilly998]

@Ariel Thanks Ariel 

[Ariel]

Thinking of you @Lilly998

Sending you a hug <3

[Lilly998]

22 hours ago, Ariel said:

Thinking of you @Lilly998

Sending you a hug ❤️

Thanks alot @Ariel u are such kind person 

[Ariel]

@Lilly998

Thinking of you <3

[Lilly998]

If any one can help plz I am suffering from a feeling of lump in my throat that caused me dysphagia ( difficulty in swallowing ) I was eating since a week only juices, I went to a doctor he said that i am having contrations in neck muscles that caused me dysphagia 

He prescribed me Cyclobenzaprine to relax the muscles and Meloxicam to reduce inflammation 

I only took a single dose of each and suffered since yesterday of severe muscle weakness than I already have due to Withdrawal I read the pamphlet of cyclobenzaprine and knew that it is from its side effects and it also can cause psychological symptoms,  and may decrease mental acuity which already has been destroyed due to WD .. I don't know what to do to feel relief I don't want to take this drug and also want to find solution for what I suffer from in my throat ??

 

Has anyone suffered from what I said ??

Is it a wd related symptom ?? 

How can I treat it naturally ??

[Ariel]

Hi @Lilly998

I'm sorry you're suffering. 

 

21 minutes ago, Lilly998 said:

I am suffering from a feeling of lump in my throat that caused me dysphagia ( difficulty in swallowing )

 

This could very well be a WD symptom. 

Dysphagia is not uncommon in WD. 

I had it for a while. It has since resolved. 

 

It's good that you went to the doctor to rule out any other possible causes. 

Since the doctor didn't find any sign of infection or disease, I would think it's probably a WD symptom. 

 

WD symptoms are temporary. They do pass. 

 

Personally I would not take cyclobenzaprine. It acts on the central nervous system (CNS). To help healing in WD I would want to avoid any drugs that act on the CNS. 

I'm not an expert, nor a mod, nor a doctor. Based on what I've read, cyclobenzaprine is only for short-term use.

It seems it can cause physiological adaptation/dependence and you might need to taper carefully off of it. 

If it were me I would stay away. 

 

31 minutes ago, Lilly998 said:

I don't know what to do to feel relief I don't want to take this drug and also want to find solution for what I suffer from in my throat ??

 

Has anyone suffered from what I said ??

Is it a wd related symptom ?? 

How can I treat it naturally ??

 

I had dysphagia for a while. It went away on its own. 

While I had it I tried to relax as much as possible. 

You can try muscle relaxation techniques (there are lots of free videos on youtube). 

I also experimented with vocal warm-up exercises that singers use, because this can also help relax throat muscles (free videos on youtube). 

Gargling with salt water (can help ease irritation and inflammation, as well as relaxing muscles and stimulating the vagus nerve. 

 

About food, try to eat puréed food, smoothies, soups, broth. 

You can also try taking very small bits of food, chewing it very well, and swallowing -- eating a little at a time. 

Stay hydrated by drinking clean, purified water. 

 

The important thing is to try not to worry about it. 

Anxiety and worry can make symptoms worse. 

Try to distract yourself as much as you can, do other things, focus on something else. 

 

Remember this is temporary. It will pass. 

It gets better. 

 

Hang in there, Lilly. You can do this! 

[Ariel]

Hello again @Lilly998

 

Here is a comment from member Junglechicken, who suffered from dysphagia for a while. 

It seems they have recovered from this symptom. 

 

On 1/14/2020 at 6:57 PM, Junglechicken said:

 

Yes, I had difficulty eating with the dysphagia.  My throat felt narrower and tight.  At the end of the day, it's inflamed (swollen) and needs protecting from further acid damage coming from the stomach.

 

I think the thing is to avoid rich food (cause reflux), food that is difficult to swallow, and just have soothing food like smoothies, oatmeal, yoghurt, soups....that kind of thing?  It would also be worth finding what food(s) would coat the throat in a protective layer to allow healing to take place.

 

This is the self-care approach.

 

 

 

Here is an excellent comment by member NobodySpecial, who suffered from dysphagia and recovered:

 

 

 

[Lilly998]

@Ariel thanks ariel .. how long did it stay for u plz ? 

I am having problems in even swallowing water 

[Ariel]

Hi @Lilly998

 

On 8/15/2022 at 12:02 AM, Lilly998 said:

how long did it stay for u plz ? 

I am having problems in even swallowing water 

 

I'm sorry it feels difficult to swallow water. 

I can certainly relate to how distressing the experience can be. 

Try to accept it as much as you can. I know that can be hard, but it helps to stay calm and accept and not fight against it. 

Struggling and worrying will only make it worse. 

I don't remember how long the symptom lasted for me. It has resolved completely.

Remember this is temporary, it will pass. 

Do your best to acknowledge - accept - float above the physical discomfort and do take care of yourself by drinking water and eating however you can. 

Hang in there, Lilly. It gets better <3

[Lilly998]

@Arieli have seen this video https://youtu.be/YQm5RCz9Pxc

it explains how swallowing occurs and i think the problem lies in the nerves (cranial nerves) controlling the normal throat/oesphagus muscle contractions/relaxations 

But i dont know if a doctor/medication can solve this problem for me 

eating/drinking is the most essential thing for living i can't wait till it is solved spontaneously

today i woke up with severe hypotension and went to emergency it was 90/60 and thank God i survived but i dont know how many times God can rescue me !!

[Ariel]

Hello dear @Lilly998

I'm so sorry you had this experience, it sounds like it was very frightening for you. 

Only you are in your body having your experience. I don't know what it's like to be you. 

Please take good care of yourself. I trust you are doing what you need to do to get through. 

You are in my thoughts. 

Sending healing vibes <3

 

[Lilly998]

@Shep is swallowing difficulty persists for long time? 

Is it nerve related problem 

If it is is there a treatment for it 

I am feeling I lost my oesphageal motility like the food/drink doesn't go the proper way has any one in the forum had this problem and how they recovered 

[Lilly998]

@Altostrata

 

 is swallowing difficulty persists for long time? 

Is it nerve related problem 

If it is is there a treatment for it 

I am feeling I lost my oesphageal motility like the food/drink doesn't go the proper way has any one in the forum had this problem and how they recovered 

[Lilly998]

@ChessieCat @Frogie @manymoretodays @brassmonkey

 

Help plz dysphagia is not a topic that is much talken about here in sa can any body help me plz 

[ChessieCat]

swallowing-and-throat-problems