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Feeling of smallness, being unsafe in the world


Escitalopram21

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I am a few weeks after reinstating a small dose of Escitalopram and most days I am feeling ok. 
 

One of my most disturbing symptoms right now is feeling small, like a little girl. I feel like the world is a dangerous place. It starts with thoughts about a situation (can’t revan which one, its more like a myriad of events) when I felt unsafe and escalates when i start questioning myself like:

 

-would i be able to go grocery shopping with this feeling

-would i be able to .... 
 

i did not experience this while on my drugs so its very unplesant and disturbing in everyday life. 
 

Anyone can relate?

2009 Escitalopram 10mg

April 2013 got off August 2013 reinstated 

July 2015 Ketipinor 50mg (Quetiapin)

April 2021 got off Quetiapin 4w taper

May 2021 tapered off Escitalopram 

9 August 2021 back on Escitalopram 2,5mg. Down to 2 mg. Updosed to 2,2mg August 24 Down to 2mg September 2

Updosed to 3mg Sept 28 

December Still holding ❤️

June 9 2022 2,9 mg

June 19 2022 2,85 mg

December 2022 switched syringes and realized i am actually taking 3,4 mg

Supplements vitamin E 400 magnesium malate a fraction of 400, Rosita Cod liver oil

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Sounds like anxiety i can relate.

 

2013 Citalopram 50mg  2014 February Sertraline 50mg 2014 September Fluoxitine 20mg 2015 May Fluoxitine 20mg (Liquid to reduce off)

2015 Septmber Lofepramine 70mg 2016 May Lofepramine 70mg (Liquid to reduce off) 2016 Dec Zopiclone (to aid short term insomnia)

2017 August Amitriptyline 10mg 2016 October Venlafaxine 37.5  rising to 225mg January 2018  2018 January Sertraline 50mg rising to 150mg

2021 January Sertraline 125mg/150mg alternate days (GP advise ... Started micro taper and found this website....2021 May 100mg daily  2021 September 95mg daily December 2021 85mg daily. Vitamins; Selenium / Vitamin D high strength / Evening primrose oil  1000mg High Strength / Omega 3 High Strength / Folic Acid.

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@dA2021 hmm. I think you are right. I havent thought of anxiety in that way. Men haven been thinking of anxiety mostly as a physical feeling. 
 

The worst about this is that it holds me back from just relaxing at home since it keeps nagging me until i get up and go and do something to prove to myself that i am able to do normal, everyday things. 
 

do you have a good way to manage this?

2009 Escitalopram 10mg

April 2013 got off August 2013 reinstated 

July 2015 Ketipinor 50mg (Quetiapin)

April 2021 got off Quetiapin 4w taper

May 2021 tapered off Escitalopram 

9 August 2021 back on Escitalopram 2,5mg. Down to 2 mg. Updosed to 2,2mg August 24 Down to 2mg September 2

Updosed to 3mg Sept 28 

December Still holding ❤️

June 9 2022 2,9 mg

June 19 2022 2,85 mg

December 2022 switched syringes and realized i am actually taking 3,4 mg

Supplements vitamin E 400 magnesium malate a fraction of 400, Rosita Cod liver oil

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When I was a teenager with anxiety, the feeling is totally different than now. Venlafaxine and withdrawal got me into mind thinking and over analysis. I spent my years from 2009 living alone, with the venlafaxine and withdrawal, it's like now I'm trying to get back to the teenager thinking. Does anyone know if living on own with the bad years gets u upto where u seek to get back to the family years a teenager. I'm 38 now, and I can't live on my own. My ocd is bad in my space. I developed the germ contamination while on venlafaxine

Social Anxiety diagnosis at root.

 

Born. 1983.

 

2001 - 2003  olanzapine and risperidone. 

 

2003 - 2007 Seroxat and prophanol. Cold turkey. Went on venlafaxine straight after.

 

2008- 2014. Venlafaxine. 6 month taper, crushing tablets powder form.

 

end 2014 - present. No meds.

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I am not sure what has helped with anxiety - propanadol  does.....

 

writing down positives around me

 

my job

 

 

speaking to colleagues around negative thoughts

 

 

Admitting when struggling

 

 

Being creative

 

 

Venlafaxine and Stertaline have both been very difficult medications to tolerate. I notice I am more anxious or get stimulus overwhelm if I have more than 2 meetings in one day. I do a lot of my job on a laptop and plan things so I do find it difficult cognitively to function without needing to sleep or rest my mind.

 

I have now started planning some support groups on Zoom I feel that passionate about how its affected me. Peer support has helped me to keep pushing through and conitue withdrawal, I started my reduction to 95ml each day now. Its took a good year to get down from 150mg just about functioning.

 

I keep going for my son and husband and parents

 

 

2013 Citalopram 50mg  2014 February Sertraline 50mg 2014 September Fluoxitine 20mg 2015 May Fluoxitine 20mg (Liquid to reduce off)

2015 Septmber Lofepramine 70mg 2016 May Lofepramine 70mg (Liquid to reduce off) 2016 Dec Zopiclone (to aid short term insomnia)

2017 August Amitriptyline 10mg 2016 October Venlafaxine 37.5  rising to 225mg January 2018  2018 January Sertraline 50mg rising to 150mg

2021 January Sertraline 125mg/150mg alternate days (GP advise ... Started micro taper and found this website....2021 May 100mg daily  2021 September 95mg daily December 2021 85mg daily. Vitamins; Selenium / Vitamin D high strength / Evening primrose oil  1000mg High Strength / Omega 3 High Strength / Folic Acid.

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  • 6 months later...

Yes I feel so much like you... Like I need emotions and someone be beside me but even if someone did that.. I cannot feel anything yes.. I know this fear and this feeling

15 June ,buspar 5mg 9pm

16 June, cipralex 10mg , buspar 5mg

17 June, cipralex 10mg, buspar 5mg

18 June, cipralex 10mg, buspar 5mg

19 June zero dose

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@arielS

 

Same here. Emotions would definitely help. I had someone by me and it did not make me feel emotionally better. They could have wrapped me up in a blanket and held me, surrounded by calming music and stuffed animals and I would have felt no different. Maybe I felt logically better. I thought, if I had emotions I would be able to calm myself or find comfort. The fear is lessened now that I can go to other rooms of my house, but still scared of outside. I am told this feeling definitely gets better.

 

 

Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg

History:

July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg

November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey

February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg

2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg

April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg

May 2021: stopped ReviaProtonixLexaproincreased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg

August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg

September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg

October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 daysLithium 300mg for 4 daysstopped LithiumLatuda

     increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Feeling of smallness, being unsafe in the world

Yes of course... How are you now and for how long are you off? 

15 June ,buspar 5mg 9pm

16 June, cipralex 10mg , buspar 5mg

17 June, cipralex 10mg, buspar 5mg

18 June, cipralex 10mg, buspar 5mg

19 June zero dose

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