john856: I'm here to participate in recovery from my short stint with SSRIs

[john856]

Basically got here from intense google searching for support from SSRI withdrawals. I'm still searching for answers and thankfully have found success stories on here of people who have eventually recovered.

 

I was just wondering if there's anyone out there like me who have only used SSRIs, specifically Sertraline, for a short period of time and have had to stop due to bad side effects after a week.

 

I've since stopped using Sertraline as advised by my doctor, but I'm still struggling with concentrating and I don't feel like myself, with bouts of dissociation and losing my train of thought. (Even writing this intro is a bit of a challenge as I feel like my thoughts are fragmented lol)

 

That said, I look forward to learning from everyone here and I hope for a speedy recovery for myself and everyone on these forums!

[brassmonkey]

Hi John-- Welcome to SA. I'm so glad you found us, but so sorry you had to look. We have a good number of members who are in the same boat as you are. They took their drugs for a short period, didn't like them or reacted badly and stopped taking them. It is because of case like these that we find out just how powerful these drugs can be. Some people are lucky and their short exposure is a non event, while others end up going through ADWD for a while before getting better. I will start you off with a link to an article I wrote that discusses this situation:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/23081-are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take/?tab=comments#comment-492494

 

It's one chapter of a much longer article, when you get a chance you might want to skim the rest of the article for general information.

 

I know it won't be long but if you would please make a signature block it would be quite helpful.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24613-how-to-summarize-drug-history-in-signature/

 

Your first two posts are automatically hidden until approved by a moderator. I'll approve this one now and one of the other moderators will get your next one when you post it. This is to make sure that you are seen by the staff and don't fall through the racks. This thread is going to be your home base for asking questions, keeping records and making friends.

[Moonpie]

Welcome John.  You have come to the right place!  I found SA through Google too and am so thankful! You are no longer alone in your journey.

[john856]

Just wanted to submit a little update after about 3 weeks from my final dose on 9/7/2021

 

The Good news:

-I definitely feel more 'functional' most of the day during my windows. Focus, concentration, train of thought, and even libido seems to have improved.

-Emotions seemed to have improved, as opposed to feeling like I could care less about anything 3 weeks ago. Now I find myself missing my cat at least or looking forward to new movies and sports.

-Sleep has gotten better so far, knock on wood. Initially I was twitching and waking up several times when I stopped Sertraline. Now I can sleep mostly thru the night. I had to stop taking a multivitamin because I think it was giving me intense lucid dreams.

 

The Bad news:

-Bad waves. It feels like morning to around lunch is a window, where I'll feel almost 'normal' then I get hit with a wave of racing thoughts and depersonalization in the afternoon, then sometimes a small window before bed. Its been like this and its frustrating because its like I get a taste of improvement then get hit with a wave of reality checks

-Panic Attacks. I never had panic attacks pre-sertraline. Now I've had 3 major ones since. I think my triggers are hunger or ruminating on stressful events. Today I had a late lunch and had a panic attack so bad afterwards (hyper racing thoughts, head pressure, fast heart rate, depersonalization) Its exhausting and scary because I feel like I'm lost in my head when it happens.

-Depersonalization. I find that exercise helps 'wake me up' but it's only temporary. Not sure what I can do about this but it is uncomfortable feeling like I'm not really in my body, if that makes sense.

 

My health worries:

-I've been reading up on people's honeymoon periods on this site and it's been stressing me out. I really don't want any delayed adverse reactions to show up months later. Does anyone know how common delayed symptoms or reactions are? I know there's probably no answer to this because everyone is different. I guess it's just something that's really worrying me and I need to get off my chest.

 

Thanks and I'm wishing everyone all the best in recovery.

[getofflex]

It sounds like you are improving very well.   Thank God you only took this for less than week.  I'm assuming your read the link that Brass Monkey gave you.  It says unfortunately, it can take a long time to recover from an adverse reaction, even though you only took it for a few days.  It's an unfair situation, I know.  I want to urge you to do your best not to worry about these symptoms, because that will just compound the situation and make it worse.  I want to assure you that you have every chance of a complete recovery from this.  We have many people here who have been put on many psych meds for many years, and they recover, although it takes a very long time.  

 

I don't know how common delayed reactions are.  But I suspect that this is more common in people who have been on these drugs for long periods of time.  

 

These drugs are very powerful, and they make changes to the nervous system.  These links apply mostly to people who have been on the drugs longer than you have, but it shows how these drugs operate, and may give you an idea of why it takes time to recover from your adverse reaction.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

Please keep us posted, and let us know how you are doing.  

[john856]

small update: I'm gonna go see an ophthalmologist in a few days to rule out any eye damage. I know recovery can take awhile but I figured Id rather be safe and make sure I'm not causing further eye damage by waiting out my recovery.

 

I forgot to mention in previous posts that my eyes were very red and painful with 8/10 blurry vision after the first few days quitting Sertraline. Doing some research I found out that Sertraline can cause something called an "Acute Angle Attack" which can damage the optic nerve.

 

Basically I'm worried that I did some damage   seeing as how most of my other symptoms seem to be improving in windows and waves EXCEPT my vision. I feel like my vision is stuck at like a 4/10 but not improving. In fact, some days I experience worse vision, focus, concentration, eye pressure, headaches etc. so I finally made an appointment.

 

If anyone has any experiences seeing an eye doctor in the context of withdrawal/adverse reactions or any general advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. In the meantime, I've been reading thru past posts here, which have been very helpful.

 

Good vibes and healing to everyone.

[john856]

Good news: Doctor said I have zero eye damage and I'm not in danger of an acute angle attack with my eyes. I mentioned my brief zoloft usage and he said it might be awhile until my eyesight is normal again.

 

Bad news: I'm back in a pretty bad wave, with racing thoughts, constant weird random thoughts, dizziness, derealization, terrible concentration and confusion, appetite loss, irregular bowel movements etc. I want this HELL and suffering to end! I think hunger was a trigger to a panic attack and then subsequent wave, but I'm not sure.

 

I'm trying to stay strong and relax and I'm trying to read up on CBT techniques which help to some degree. Also taking fish oil, as advised, seems to help suppress some anxiety. Magnesium citrate 25mg makes me feel jittery and energized, so I switch to a magnesium body wash for now. No other supplements, except chamomile tea at night.

 

Side note: I feel like my adverse reaction had a side effect of ripping off the covers of issues in my social life and relationships that I was not ready to deal with. Over the years, my intense anxiety has ruined many relationships in my life, to the point where I have very little support structure left, but I learned to 'cope' with very thick skin. In desperation, I turned to pills instead of therapeutic techniques and am still dealing with the aftermath.

 

Those pills basically ripped away what little ability I had to cope before I was ready to deal with these personal issues. Now I'm feeling a lot of dread, some panic and doom, especially in the mornings and evenings.

 

I'm trying to remind myself that I can make future positive changes and either repair relationships or make new ones. But right now I'm struggling with the effects those pills had of putting this issue front and center.

 

As always, I'm so thankful for the input and support on this site. I know I'm not alone in this battle. *hugs to all

[getofflex]

17 hours ago, john856 said:

Good news: Doctor said I have zero eye damage and I'm not in danger of an acute angle attack with my eyes. I mentioned my brief zoloft usage and he said it might be awhile until my eyesight is normal again.

I'm glad to hear that you don't have any eye damage.  I think the doctor may be correct, in that it may take time for your eyes to return to normal.  These psych meds affect everything in our body, since the nervous system is connected to every other system.  

 

17 hours ago, john856 said:

Those pills basically ripped away what little ability I had to cope before I was ready to deal with these personal issues. Now I'm feeling a lot of dread, some panic and doom, especially in the mornings and evenings.

I'm going through something similar.  Now that I'm over 99% off my Lexapro, I'm having to deal with issues head on, that in the past were covered up by the pills.  And yes, sometimes this does create anxiety in me.  However, I can honestly say that as time goes on, this is slowly becoming easier, as I'm leaning more on non drug coping techniques, and less on the drugs.  It is a huge transition to go away from depending on a pill to dull my emotional pain, and learn to deal with emotional pain in a natural way, the way God intended us to.  

[john856]

Feeling pretty crappy at the moment. Still cant focus or concentrate that well.

 

New symptoms with sleep are getting worse, as well as constipation and irregularity.

 

Did I do the right thing quitting CT after 5 days of zoloft use? Would tapering have been better?

 

Last night I suffered pretty bad trying to get some sleep, I actually debated taking zoloft again. But then I remembered how bad it affected me.

 

I just feel so desperate for relief and a sense of normalcy

[getofflex]

19 hours ago, john856 said:

Did I do the right thing quitting CT after 5 days of zoloft use? Would tapering have been better?

Yes, I believe you did the right thing quitting cold turkey after only 5 days of use.  Your brain does not become dependent on it after 5 days.  I know this is very unfair, but unfortunately, adverse reactions can take a long time to recover from.  Please read: 

 

Adverse Reactions

 

19 hours ago, john856 said:

Last night I suffered pretty bad trying to get some sleep, I actually debated taking zoloft again. But then I remembered how bad it affected me.

I'm glad you remembered this, and refrained.  Going back on psych meds is not a solution for problems caused by psych meds.  There is no quick fix for problems caused by psych meds.  Time, patience, and self care are your best bet.  We have a plethora of information on non drug ways to deal with sleep issues: 

 

Withdrawal Insomnia

 

We live in a world of instant gratification, and often get the message that there is an easy solution for any problem, but this isn't so.  Please read this excellent post by Brass Monkey, one of our staff who has recovered from Paxil, a very difficult drug to get off.  

 

Let Go

 

19 hours ago, john856 said:

I just feel so desperate for relief and a sense of normalcy

My heart goes out to you.  I understand - I've felt this way myself on some of my bad days.  I'm praying for you.  Someday, this will come to an end.  

Edited October 21, 2021 by getofflex

[deg1979]

@john856, what’s going on with your sleep? 
 

I am struggling with sleep as well. Sometimes I think if only I could just get a good eight hours of normal sleep at night, all of my symptoms would be easier to bear (or minimized). 
 

Even when I do sleep, I’m pretty sure it isn’t normal as far as sleep cycles and quality. Last night I kept jolting awake with a pounding heart. I’ve gotten kind of used to it, so I just try to deep breathe and go back to sleep so I can jolt awake again later! 
 

This can feel so hard, and so bizarre, but it encourages me to see people have gone through this and come out on the other side. And to know that there are others going through it at the same time. 

[john856]

-Short update: 1/15/2022

 

Summary: I have finally turned a corner. My symptoms have improved and windows are mostly steady. 😔 I'd say I'm at ~85% back to my pre-zoloft self.

 

*Windows and Waves

My windows are definitely longer (For example, in a 10 hour day I'd have roughly 1 hour's worth of a waves).

 

*What has helped me personally / What I've learned so far

-Sleep is incredibly important. Anytime I've managed to get a fair amount of sleep, I noticed my symptoms improved just a little more weekly and remained steady. Lack of sleep guarantees I'll have DPDR the following day with significant cognitive impairment.

-Journal. Not only to track of my symptoms but also to highlight my improvements. Reading my progress notes has helped me during waves, especially during extreme DPDR where I lost myself in my own body. My journal kept me grounded to my sense of self and reminded me of the 'big picture' of improving.

-Nutrition. No alcohol. No caffeine until I could sleep regularly again. Eat balanced meals, and on time. No late meals because hunger triggers waves for me.

-Supplements: Lower fish oil intake to 3x a week. Taking fish oil everyday stimulated my brain and lead to strong waves. I had to lower my intake. Magnesium bodywash every evening or as needed. Melatonin quick dissolve tablet 5mg split in half (so 2.5mg). Previously I had also used Chamomile tea before bed but I no longer need it.

-CBT techniques: 'Play the script to the end' and 'Cognitive Restructuring' to help with anxiety and possibly DPDR.

-Relaxed 30min walk before bed to help me fall asleep.

 

*Lingering symptoms

-Cognitive impairment: If I'm in a wave, I still have issues reading and thinking. Also forgetfulness is an issue. I'm fine during windows otherwise.

-DPDR: but it's not as intense and I think I can manage it. Sleep, Hunger, and Stress seem to trigger episodes but it's not as constant. Also CBT techniques and trying not to ruminate has helped me tremendously. During my best windows, I even forget my DPDR is there.

 

I think the worst is over but some things remain. I believe healthy habits provides my brain and body a foundation to heal and I have anecdotal evidence of this in my journal (Slow but steady progress, setbacks when I neglect myself). It's been a bit of trial and error but I've narrowed down what I need to do hopefully fully recover.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

14 minutes ago, john856 said:

-Short update: 1/15/2022

 

Summary: I have finally turned a corner. My symptoms have improved and windows are mostly steady. 😔 I'd say I'm at ~85% back to my pre-zoloft self.

 

*Windows and Waves

My windows are definitely longer (For example, in a 10 hour day I'd have roughly 1 hour's worth of a waves).

 

*What has helped me personally / What I've learned so far

-Sleep is incredibly important. Anytime I've managed to get a fair amount of sleep, I noticed my symptoms improved just a little more weekly and remained steady. Lack of sleep guarantees I'll have DPDR the following day with significant cognitive impairment.

-Journal. Not only to track of my symptoms but also to highlight my improvements. Reading my progress notes has helped me during waves, especially during extreme DPDR where I lost myself in my own body. My journal kept me grounded to my sense of self and reminded me of the 'big picture' of improving.

-Nutrition. No alcohol. No caffeine until I could sleep regularly again. Eat balanced meals, and on time. No late meals because hunger triggers waves for me.

-Supplements: Lower fish oil intake to 3x a week. Taking fish oil everyday stimulated my brain and lead to strong waves. I had to lower my intake. Magnesium bodywash every evening or as needed. Melatonin quick dissolve tablet 5mg split in half (so 2.5mg). Previously I had also used Chamomile tea before bed but I no longer need it.

-CBT techniques: 'Play the script to the end' and 'Cognitive Restructuring' to help with anxiety and possibly DPDR.

-Relaxed 30min walk before bed to help me fall asleep.

 

*Lingering symptoms

-Cognitive impairment: If I'm in a wave, I still have issues reading and thinking. Also forgetfulness is an issue. I'm fine during windows otherwise.

-DPDR: but it's not as intense and I think I can manage it. Sleep, Hunger, and Stress seem to trigger episodes but it's not as constant. Also CBT techniques and trying not to ruminate has helped me tremendously. During my best windows, I even forget my DPDR is there.

 

I think the worst is over but some things remain. I believe healthy habits provides my brain and body a foundation to heal and I have anecdotal evidence of this in my journal (Slow but steady progress, setbacks when I neglect myself). It's been a bit of trial and error but I've narrowed down what I need to do hopefully fully recover.

Great to hear this…. I hope one day I turn the corner as well … Zoloft is pure poison 

[john856]

I believe in you. You are so strong to deal with severe DPDR. I pray for your healing that's going on behind the scenes, even though the DPDR may sometimes mask it. Step by step I know you will beat this. I pray you start to see little improvements soon that become steady and turn into big improvements.

@JesusSavemefromWD

[JesusSavemefromWD]

11 minutes ago, john856 said:

I believe in you. You are so strong to deal with severe DPDR. I pray for your healing that's going on behind the scenes, even though the DPDR may sometimes mask it. Step by step I know you will beat this. I pray you start to see little improvements soon that become steady and turn into big improvements.

@JesusSavemefromWD

Thank you …. 🥺

[john856]

Personal progress update: I can laugh and feel it.

 

Last night, I was watching a movie called Black Sheep, starring Chris Farley & David Spade. Afterwards it dawned on me how much I laughed and felt the emotions. Up until this point, happiness felt very muted or zombie-like.

[ChessieCat]

That's really good news.

 

Q:  Is your drug signature up to date?  If not please do that.  Thanks.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

[john856]

March update (~6months post adverse event):

 

1.) DPDR almost gone, but still can be triggered by hunger/stress.

2.) Cognitive function improved but still not 100%

 

New symptoms:

1.) Weird nerve pain comes and goes in my neck, which makes it difficult to eat and swallow. Nerve pain in my upper back. Like pins and needle shocks.

2.) Brain feels like it's moving/electrical shocks.

3.) Vision floaters

 

Overall nothing debilitating, just uncomfortable. I'll chalk it up to my body trying to heal my nervous system.

[Blossom71]

Just wanted to drop by and say Hi @john856

Sorry to hear you have some new symptoms, WD is just the gift that keep on giving isn't it!

[john856]

Hey @Blossom71 it sure does keep giving. *sigh lol I'll probably have to get blood work done to make sure these new symptoms aren't deficiency related.

 

I briefly read thru your profile and I'm happy to see you can take some folic acid now! Does it help with the fatigue symptoms?

 

Thank you for dropping by, it's much appreciated 🙏

[Blossom71]

Hi @john856

I’ve only been taking it for a few days but it is making a difference already. I haven’t managed a full dose yet but am working up to it. My sore tongue and ulcers have mostly gone and the heavy fatigue is starting to lift.  I’ve felt pretty rubbish today but I’ve just realised I totally forget to take my sertraline last night so that explains how I’ve been feeling today!

 

When I’ve got my energy back I’ll probably try and get some bloods done. But to be honest, every time I’ve felt rubbish in the past it’s always the same things I’m low in - vitamin D and folate (B9).  Probably doesn’t help that I stopped the supplements when I started tapering. The sun is starting to shine now so I should be able to get my vit D back up soon too!

[john856]

April 2022 update:

 

-Had blood work done, I'm deficient in Vitamin D levels. Everything else is about normal. I'm curious if low Vit. D could be the reason I have lingering DPDR. (example: Low Vit. D -> Anxiety -> DPDR)

-Neck tightness and nerve pain in neck/back has subsided.

-Brain movement feeling has subsided.

-Memory and concentration is holding steady at mostly recovered. This might be my new normal.

[ChessieCat]

A few suggestions:

 

Vitamin D is a daytime vitamin and is best taken in the morning.  You will need to observe how it affects your sleep, even if taken first thing in the day.

 

Only make one change at a time.

 

It is better to start with a low dose and gradually build up to the dose your doctor has suggested.

 

Get regular blood tests to see if your Vit D level has improved.  Once it gets to the desired level, you may be able to reduce the amount you take.  My doctor never told me to have follow ups and I was taking a high dose of Vitamin D for many years before I did my own research about it.

 

As for whether it will have an effect on your DP/DR, only time will tell.  But I did find the following:

 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17138809/

 

Title:  Vitamin D deficiency is associated with low mood and worse cognitive performance in older adults

[john856]

January 2023 Update:

 

Feel like I'm breaking thru my DPDR with small moments of clarity and 'having my identity back' if that makes sense.

I started to experience this clarity around last October but I waited awhile to post this update just to be sure I actually improved.

Otherwise, my DPDR and dizziness still lingers and dominates most of my day but I'll take this small step forward. I'm trying not to be frustrated at the very slow pace of progress.