holli: messed up Zoloft tapering?

[holli]

1 minute ago, Altostrata said:

 

You've been taking 12.5mg sertraline since July 2021 and had these symptoms all that time?

 

more or less, yes sadly. in july and early august it was more dizziness and dp/dr centred, but september and october seem to be more tremors and nausea/vomiting centred. it’s also only just in the past couple of weeks that i’ve been getting really hot and much more fatigued. 

 

i think why i’ve been like this for so long was because i thought it was from skipping doses and lowering fast in july so i just presumed it was withdrawal and it would sort itself out. i never considered the adverse reaction until i posted more here. 

[holli]

also just to add to above, there was a period in august about a month after sticking to 12.5mg where i thought i was getting better. i was doing my makeup everyday, on call with my friends and boyfriend for hours, making my own lunch and dinner. i would also paint and crochet most of the day. it really looked like i was getting back to normal functioning for a while.

 

then early september, i seemed to go downhill and i stopped putting on makeup and dressing in nice clothes, stopped doing the things i loved and barely spoke to anyone. i had to ask my boyfriend for space because i couldn’t handle anything. this is when i posted here for the first time, before i used to lurk and see if anyone felt the same as me. when i posted here i felt more relief that i was heard and this was going to get better. i was told to hold on 12.5mg and stabilise for 6-12 months (which by the way, this decision makes sense for the information i gave at the time so i respect this decision, getofflex has been super with helping me). so i held with the hopes i’d get better but then i started to realise that i have a pattern. then i reflected and realised i’ve had this pattern the whole time.

 

i really hate that it took me so long to notice. days, weeks and months of suffering when i could’ve noticed it sooner and changes could’ve been made. it’s something i struggle not to beat myself up over. i sadly think i never noticed because from the start, i was told by my doctor that the nausea and dizziness was just the price i had to pay. whenever i told my doctor “but i’m still having panic attacks”, she would just tell me to do more therapy and then up my dose. i should’ve listened to myself and trusted myself, and that is something that i now know i should do. it’s just upsetting that it took this much damage to realise that.

[Altostrata]

We often cannot identify adverse effects until we see those daily notes, that's what they're for.

 

Very possible that skipping doses caused your nervous system to be sensitized and now a dosage you used to be able to take is too much.

 

Do you feel up to lowering the dose by 10%?

[holli]

that does make a lot of sense, i’m glad we know now and that i got the courage to speak up about it because for some reason i was always too nervous to post.

 

7 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Do you feel up to lowering the dose by 10%?

absolutely! i’m taking 11.25mg in liquid in the morning like you suggested previously. i’m a little anxious for it i won’t lie, but i know that staying at 12.5mg is only severely ruining my quality of life and no progress can be made. so i’ll take that lowered dose and update tomorrow once again with daily notes

[getofflex]

Based on your diaries I think you will feel better as you reduce your dose of the drug.  Please be precise to keep your daily dose the same and take it at the same time each day.  Try not to make any other changes in your food or drugs or supplements and treat yourself very gently.  You will come out of this with proper self care.   

[holli]

38 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Based on your diaries I think you will feel better as you reduce your dose of the drug.

i really hope so! i took the first reduced dose this morning so about 8 hours ago, so far it’s been about the same symptoms with a little more dizziness and feeling “off” but i’m guessing it takes a couple days for my system to adjust right? do you know how long it’ll take to feel any possible relief from the reduced dose?

 

i’ll post a full daily journal later

[getofflex]

It might take about 4 days for the reduced dose to reach steady state in your bloodstream, and perhaps a few more days for it to register in your brain.  I can’t say how long it will be for you to feel an improvement.  But sooner or later I believe you will.  These things take a lot of time and patience.  

[holli]

22 minutes ago, getofflex said:

It might take about 4 days for the reduced dose to reach steady state in your bloodstream, and perhaps a few more days for it to register in your brain.  I can’t say how long it will be for you to feel an improvement.  But sooner or later I believe you will.  These things take a lot of time and patience.  

okay that makes sense! hopefully it will be soon but i know these things take time, i just feel super guilty for having to rely quite heavily on my parents right now and i’m frustrated that symptoms really limit my day. but one day at a time!

 

here’s my daily symptoms for today:

 

19th october:

1am - cant sleep because im too hot but im noticing a real lack of symptoms. it’s annoying because it makes me want to stay up and enjoy this but i need sleep

2:30am - finally feeling cooler 

3am - fell asleep

11:00am - woke up anxious and slightly nauseous, slight tremors

11:30am - took 11.2mg of zoloft liquid. tremors are starting to get more intense

12pm - anxiety has calmed down a bit, probably because i was anxious about lowering and now that’s done. slight tremors not too intense

12:30pm - tremors are starting to get more intense, head feels “off”, had a snack but nausea starting to get intense so it was hard 

1pm - tremors are intense, getting a bit of vertigo, dp/dr starting, anxiety and nausea is intense, also really hot

1:30pm - lunch, really hard to keep down because of nausea, still all of the above. about ten mins into eating i had to run to the bathroom to throw up but i splashed cold water on my face and that eased it so thankfully i didn’t throw up today

2pm - nausea has eased a little, dp/dr still, really hot mostly on arms and head, tremors not as intense but still bad

2:30pm - tremors have eased a little, head feels heavy and tired, not as hot as before 

3pm - took birth control, anxiety is getting a little bad and tremors have turned into internal vibrations all over quite intense, nausea is also increasing, have moments where my anxiety increases and it makes me dizzy for a moment (have had this before)

3:30pm - anxiety and internal vibrations have eased a little, nausea still pretty bad, head is also very heavy/drowsy feeling

4pm - still getting those moments of dizziness, it’s like someone squishes my brain for a moment and it makes my head spin. almost like a brain zap i guess? i had zaps in the past when lowering but they were much more intense and painful but these are more just uncomfortable. also feel generally rough

4:30pm - at the moment it’s just mostly dp/dr and feeling generally rough. i’m also quite clammy but not too hot

5pm - had a snack, internal vibrations mostly gone though it’s still kinda present in my arms, still a little bit of vertigo but i’m trying to stay comfy and still, nausea has eased, still feel rough 

5:30pm - the same as above

6pm - internal vibrations are now more just in my upper body, vertigo still but nausea is gone and i don’t feel as rough as earlier

6:30pm - anxiety has come back a bit in surges, thoughts obsessing over symptoms but i’m trying to distract

7pm - dinner but vertigo and nausea came back so it’s hard, getting a little restless and hot

8:00pm - have a slight headache but it didn’t last long, not restless anymore or nauseous but i still have slight vertigo

9pm - had a snack, still have vertigo and my anxiety keeps spiking, also really hot

9:30pm - internal vibrations are back but not too bad, just listening to the rain by my window trying to cool down but i’m just looking forward to sleeping so i can put today behind me

10:30pm - a little more relaxed, sipping tea by the window. still having a bit of vertigo but when i last reduced my dose, vertigo was the main overwhelming symptoms and this is nowhere near as bad

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[holli]

i have a question, cold turkey isn’t an option is it? i know tapering slow is the best way to go in a lot of cases, but i feel like my body is literally rejecting the sertraline at this point. i threw up again today an hour after i took the dose and i find that whenever i throw up, my nausea either goes is or barely existent the rest of the day. if i don’t throw up, i have the nausea quite intense all day.

 

i’m just worried, i really don’t want to keep throwing up so often and i don’t want it to turn into an everyday thing. i feel like i’m poisoning myself and every night i go to bed afraid that i’m damaging myself by taking this drug.

 

so is it possible that in my case of an adverse reaction, that it’s possible to feel better by just stopping? or will i just mess up my nervous system even more. i’m so frustrated i let this suffering go on for so long.

[getofflex]

2 hours ago, holli said:

i have a question, cold turkey isn’t an option is it?

We do not suggest cold turkey except in very extreme cases of adverse reaction, such as organ damage, or severe allergic reactions, where the risk of the adverse reaction is greater than the risk of withdrawal.  Please click on this link, and carefully read the paragraph that starts in bold red "EXCEPTION: IF YOU ARE HAVING A SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION TO A DRUG, YOU MAY WANT TO GO OFF FASTER'.  

 

Why Taper by 10%

 

When you have an adverse reaction to a psychiatric drug that you have been on for longer than a month, you are between a rock and hard place.  One, your brain and nervous system have adjusted to the presence of the drug, and it takes a long time for them to readjust to their predrug state, which is why we do the gradual taper.  But on the other hand, the drug itself it causing symptoms because of the adverse reaction.  The trick is to choose the lesser of 2 evils.  Please read this link:  How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

In your case, if you cold turkey off your Zoloft, you run a significant risk of going from the frying pan into the fire.  In other words, there is a risk that you could end up with much worse symptoms, that could take many months to even years to recover from.  Many people who do cold turkey end up unable to sleep, unable to hardly eat, unable to barely function, with horrific anxiety and depression, not to mention all the physical symptoms, and this can go on for a very long time.  

2 hours ago, holli said:

or will i just mess up my nervous system even more.

Yes, unfortunately, this is a major risk.  

 

Please read:  Cold Turkey and Too Fast Tapers   

 

When is Stopping Cold Turkey the Safest Option

 

2 hours ago, holli said:

’m so frustrated i let this suffering go on for so long.

Yes, most of us here are highly frustrated with how long it takes to deal with the effects of these drugs.  I know what you are talking about.  Before I found this forum, I was in a hurry to get off of them, and I tapered way too fast, and I paid the price.  This process requires supreme patience.  Please hang in there, eventually it will get better, but it takes a whole lot of time. 

Edited October 20, 2021 by getofflex

[holli]

26 minutes ago, getofflex said:

We do not suggest cold turkey except in very extreme cases of adverse reaction, such as organ damage, or severe allergic reactions, where the risk of the adverse reaction is greater than the risk of withdrawal.

how do i know if im experiencing this? im guessing an allergic reaction would be a persistent rash and/or swelling/struggling to breathe. i only feel itchy and it makes my skin a little red but it disappears in an hour. as for organ damage, i had a period where the whites of my eyes were yellowing a month ago, but it left a month ago or so and hasn’t come back since. i also had a blood test in 2017 where my bilirubin levels came back high but nothing was investigated so i presume that was fine and i was fine so i never pushed investigation. i’m not sure any of that is relevant but these drugs have just made me so afraid, i wish i knew when i started them how powerful they are.

 

28 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Many people who do cold turkey end up unable to sleep, unable to hardly eat, unable to barely function, with horrific anxiety and depression, not to mention all the physical symptoms, and this can go on for a very long time.

i guess it’s extremely good that i’m still able to sleep (i hope i don’t curse that). but i have to force myself to eat and i’m barely getting enough in a day and im losing weight, which is terrifying because i was petite and borderline underweight to begin with. it’s scary to think that all this could get worse because right now, this seems intensely bad to me. im not functioning at all, im pretty much bedridden because standing or walking for longer than a couple minutes makes all my symptoms heighten and my legs are jelly. i stay in my bedroom all day purely to stay by the window by my bed to try get relief from feeling so hot. 

 

i think i’m just terrified that the longer i stay on it, the worse i will get. sometimes i don’t know whether i should seek medical help, but the two things that hold me back are 1) they will probably cold turkey me anyway and 2) i don’t think i can physically bring myself to the doctors or anything, plus the strength to go through loads of testing. it all makes me super stressed out. plus my agoraphobia that i originally went on these meds for anyway makes it a million times harder.

 

god this is so rough. im in awe of everyone on this site, we’re all so strong for enduring this. im just really sad and angry that we have to in the first place.

[getofflex]

From what you’ve said in your posts I doubt that you are having a severe adverse reaction that would warrant you going cold turkey. I would suggest that you search the site yourself for adverse reaction information. Please go to google and do a search on www.survivingantidepressants.org adverse”

 

 it’s very common for many of us to catastrophize in our thinking. During withdrawal our brains are already very anxious. When I was in the worst of my withdrawal I would do a very simple tasks that would help take my mind off of my symptoms and how badly I felt.   Examples would be knitting, sewing, crafts, basic house work, light gardening etc. Just realize that hundreds and hundreds of people in here have been in the position that you are in and many in worse positions. Try reading some of the success stories to get your mind into a more positive way of thinking about this.

Edited October 20, 2021 by getofflex

[holli]

you’re right, i think i’m just having a particularly bad day emotionally, probably because i’m tired of throwing up so often at the same time of day. it’s weird, i actually had emetophobia before this started happening so i guess that’s one positive thing, i beat my phobia? lol

 

i currently just watch lots of light-hearted comedic videos throughout the day, play some easy/fun games and do my uni work when i have the brain to do it. i’m gonna try and get back into doing more crochet and art hopefully when physically symptoms lift a little. it’s so hard to try do those two hobbies right now because i just go blank, i cant think of how to crochet or how to draw/paint. 

 

i also read the success stories quite often, i sometimes go back before i go to sleep and then fall off to sleep thinking about writing my own success story one day. they’ve been extremely helpful so far but i know that sometimes, reading about the pain they went through can be triggering so i’ve got to try balance that. 

 

thanks for your help as always, getofflex. i hope you’re having a wonderful day!

[Altostrata]

Well done on the daily notes. From your symptom pattern, it appears the nausea is caused by the Effexor dose, and possibly other symptoms as well. Since you reduced to 11.2mg only yesterday, it will take a few days to see the full effect of the reduction. Please continue to post those daily notes.

 

 

[holli]

19 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Well done on the daily notes. From your symptom pattern, it appears the nausea is caused by the Effexor dose, and possibly other symptoms as well.

i’m guessing you mean zoloft not effexor!  but yeah, it’s always about an hour after i take the dose that it appears and usually means i suddenly throw up, usually with not much warning which is why it feels like my body just goes “nope! don’t want that!” but i’m really hoping it eases soon. like you said, it takes time and i’ll keep posting my daily notes. 

 

also, when you say “possibly other symptoms as well”, does that mean some symptoms are from the adverse effect but then the other symptoms i get most of the day might just be general withdrawal? or just like a result of my nervous system being in so much distress that they never ease?

[holli]

here’s my daily notes for today!

 

20th october:

3am - finally got to sleep after feeling anxious and a bit nauseous

11am - woke up not too anxious or nauseous, body feels heavy though

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid sertraline

11:45am - minor tremors

12pm - still only minor tremors, neck aches a bit but i could’ve just slept weird

12:30pm - had a snack, tremors are picking up a bit, head feels hot and “off”

12:45pm - arms are burning hot and anxiety is getting intense. about 5 minutes later i threw up even though nausea hasn’t been too bad this morning, the cold water on face method didn’t work. tremors are now really intense and my legs were shaking really bad when i stood

1pm - tremors are intense in whole of body, still nauseous, arms still burning and head feels heavy/tense

1:30pm - small lunch, nausea has eased so it’s not too bad, still really hot and head still heavy, tremors have eased

2pm - tremors have gone? still really hot 

2:30pm - tremors have come back but not as intense, head feels “off”, very heavy and sleepy/drowsy

3pm - tremors are intense, anxiety is really bad and head feels so heavy and forehead feels tight, still really hot 

3:30pm - dp/dr kicking in, super restless, i don’t know what to do with myself i just really want this to pass, nausea is also back 

4pm - took birth control, above symptoms have eased, i feel cooler now but i’m getting vertigo and my head & body feels very heavy

4:30pm - had a moment of tingling in my head, almost like chills making my head shiver. my whole torso also aches but i might’ve just been sat weirdly as i was trying to stay still with vertigo

5pm - had a snack, body feels really heavy and achey, tremors are now internal vibrations 

6pm - still the same as above but i’ve cooled down a little

6:30pm - dinner, internal vibrations have lessened, body is less achey, my head feels a little electrical and i’m getting hot again

8pm - symptoms since have eased, i just feel tired and still a little achey & hot, head feels a bit “off” still 

9pm - same as above, had a snack

9:30pm - really hot again but i’m realising me being hot at night could be due to the fact i’m by the radiator, sadly that’s also where the window is 

10pm - feeling a bit uncomfortable, vertigo

10:30pm - sipping tea, still quite hot and have vertigo but uncomfortable feeling is gone

 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[getofflex]

You have done a lot of changes to your drugs and dosages over the past, so I wouldn't doubt that many of your symptoms are from withdrawal, in addition to the adverse reaction to your drug.  This is why in an earlier post, I said you were between a rock and a hard place.  The more we change drugs and dosages, the more it tends to disrupt our very complex and delicate nervous system, and cause destabilization and symptoms that take a long time to resolve.  The good news is, this is not permanent.  I thank God that I have a temporary health issue, unlike people who are paralyzed for life or have terminal cancer.  

[holli]

you’re absolutely right, getofflex. i don’t know why, but sometimes i cant wrap my head around the power of these drugs. but earlier i actually wrote out my medication dosage history in list form. by doing that, i can see that i was moved around in dosage 10 times in the past 2 years by my doctor… no wonder i feel incredibly rough. it helps me realise that this is very much real and these medications are given to people way too easy. 

 

but the fact that this is temporary is absolutely what gets me through. you’re very right when you say to be thankful that we don’t have anything terminal or are paralysed, i’m extremely thankful too. 

[holli]

also just to add to above, i’ve only just remembered that back in january 2020 when my doctor raised me to 100mg, i’m pretty sure i alternated doses back then too. i cant remember if it was alternating to increase to 100mg or if it was alternating to go back down to 50mg when i complained that i didn’t like the way i felt… my doctor was really a fan of the alternating doses method, huh. i didn’t even realise until i came here that you’re really not supposed to do that… so angry.

[holli]

here’s todays daily notes:

 

21st october:

12:15am - suddenly quite restless, could be because i’m really hot and desperately trying to cool down

12:30am - finally cooled down, head pressure

3am - finally slept

11am - woke up with anxiety and nausea, plus internal vibrations in arms, whole body feels heavy

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid zoloft, head pressure and minor tremors

12pm - still the same as above though i’m noticing i’m not hot

12:30pm - ate a snack, tremors getting more intense and i’m getting hot

1pm - tremors still intense, still hot, head is heavy and neck is tense, anxiety is getting a little bad, dp/dr starting

1:30pm - lunch, still the same as above

2pm - a little bit of nausea (nowhere near as bad as previous days!), still above symptoms 

2:30pm - tremors are less intense, still a little bit of nausea which gets worse when i move. still have dp/dr, heavy head, tense neck and feeling hot but anxiety has eased a little

3pm - tremors are now internal vibrations, still the same symptoms as above with a little vertigo

3:30pm - nausea is starting to increase, internal vibrations still, dp/dr has eased and so has anxiety, still have head pressure and tense neck

4pm - nausea is stronger, internal vibrations are low but everything else has eased a little. i just feel super uncomfortable, body feels heavy

4:30pm - nausea has eased, vertigo is a little intense 

5pm - took birth control. vertigo is still bothering me, it makes me feel so uncomfortable

6:30pm - dinner, getting very restless/agitated, still have vertigo 

7:30pm - seems everything has eased a little, feel calmer 

8pm - vertigo is back, anxiety in surges, little bit of internal vibrations 

8:30pm - really hot, still same as above

9pm - feel really uncomfortable, vertigo still but i’m cooling down

10:30pm - not so uncomfortable, still have vertigo but i’m feeling calm and cool

 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

 

so happy that i was able to eat lunch without any nausea today! a small win!!

[Altostrata]

The adverse effects from Zoloft appear to be diminishing. Please be patient, let's see what happens over a week before planning the next move.

[holli]

just checking in with my daily notes! i’ve been quite emotional today. usually i just go on with my day and just have a “get it over with” attitude but today it’s been weighing on me a little more. not sure if that’s the dose reduction or just a case of me thinking more than usual. oh well, tomorrows a new day!

 

22nd october:

12:30am - noticing that i actually feel a little cold for once, shut my window for the first time in days 

2:30am - have a pretty painful headache on the right side of my head. got hot again so window is back open 

3am - fell asleep

11am - woke up anxious and a little nauseous. body feels heavy

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid sertraline. tremors starting

12pm - anxious, nausea, tremors and dp/dr starting

12:30pm - had a snack, tremors intense, feeling very nauseous

1pm - nausea eased, tremors still intense, still have dp/dr, noticing that i keep getting that headache i had in the night for about 30 seconds then it goes? it’s always on the right side

1:30pm - lunch, tremors & dp/dr have eased a little, nausea still there but not too bad

2pm - nausea is increasing a little

2:30pm - nausea still there, slight tremors in surges, heavy head

3pm - still the same as above

4pm - nausea and tremors have eased a little, still really hot and my mood is quite low

5pm - snack, still have minor tremors, not as hot but quite sweaty, some vertigo, head pressure

5:30pm - uncomfortable feeling, head feels “off”

6pm - anxiety is getting bad in surges, head still feels off and still getting tremors in surges 

6:30pm - dinner, nausea came back a little so it was hard, head feels flu-like, tremors are gone

7:30pm - nausea has eased, still have flu like head

8pm - had a snack, everything has eased except the flu like head 

9pm - still about the same but i’m drawing and i haven’t drawn in weeks!!

9:30pm - internal vibrations, anxiety spiking a little

10pm - starting thinking about my situation and got myself really anxious. this bought on symptoms like tremors, nausea, head feeling “off”. just want to go to sleep and wake up better but i know i won’t

10:30pm - still a bit of the same above, started crying thinking about everything 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[getofflex]

Hi Holli, this is a very difficult situation we find ourselves in, and it takes a long time to resolve it.  So it's no wonder that you feel emotional and are crying about it.  I've done this too.  I'm glad to hear you are drawing!  I also paint, and sometimes draw too.  It's a wonderful outlet.  I believe anything creative is very therapeutic and healing, especially at a time like this.  Thanks for posting your journal.  As you very slowly taper off the medication, you should very slowly start to feel better.  It's frustrating, because it takes so long, and is very slow.  But you crashed hard in July, and these crashes take many months to recover from.  Take care, and keep up the good work!  There is a light at the end of this tunnel.  

[holli]

thank you as always getofflex, i always seem to see your posts right when i need them and as always your words are extremely helpful  

 

a fellow painter yay! it was really lovely to draw yesterday, i really missed it. i miss painting too, hopefully i’ll get back to that when i feel better. but for now i’ve just been sketching using my ipad and digital pen and it’s been really fun, it truly helps distract me for a while. 

 

and you’re right, i don’t think i truly realise the impact of the july crash sometimes and how much that destabilised me. i’m definitely going to try remember this and be more gentle on myself, because i do have a bad habit of being hard on myself for getting myself into this situation. but that’s the past, i cant change that. all i can do is continue to look forward and get through each day the best i can. 

 

hope you’re doing well, have a lovely day getofflex

[holli]

posting my notes for today! today was… a little scary not going to lie. my usual tremors i get an hour or so after taking my zoloft dose were much more intense today. my whole body was moving involuntarily and it hurt so bad, i was in complete distress just wanting it to stop because it was scary and painful. i’m not sure i’ve ever had it that bad? not quite sure why it was worse today. 

 

i also nearly threw up 3 times today but i managed to not actually throw up for once so at least that’s something!

 

23rd october:

1am - really hot, head feels “off”

3am - keep going cold and getting back under the covers then really hot very fast… annoying because i’m tired and just want to sleep. but i eventually slept around this time

11am - woke up anxious 

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid sertraline

12pm - tremors starting, feel a little nauseous, head feels “off”

12:30pm - ate a snack, dp/dr is intense, feels like my brain has turned off, nausea and tremors are a little more intense

1pm - still the same as above, tremors more intense and anxiety increasing

1:30pm - lunch, struggled to keep it down, tremors are really intense, getting hot and increased nausea 

2pm - tremors have eased a little but because they were so intense all over today my whole body hurts, nausea has also eased

2:30pm - tremors got more intense again, surge of panic when i had to talk to my mum which made my head really hot and i thought i was gonna pass out, thought i was going to throw up again too, head feels awful and tense

3pm - tremors have eased a little, nausea still bad and i have a lot of head/neck pressure

3:30pm - tremors still in surges, whole body aches from earlier, feel tired from it

4:00pm - calmed down, i feel rough and still quite hot

4:30pm - internal vibrations starting, feeling hot is morphing into burning sensation on arms and neck, nausea back again 

5pm - had a snack, nausea has eased, so had burning sensation but i’m still hot and still having internal vibrations

6pm - head pressure starting, neck tense 

6:30pm - dinner, a little agitated/restless, head is heavy, neck still tense, internal vibrations quite intense

7:30pm - restlessness is gone, internal vibrations have eased, head is still heavy

8pm - still heavy head, think i’m just super tired from the really intense tremors that lasted well over an hour earlier

8:30pm - getting really hot

10pm - have cooled down a little, noticing anxiety in my chest (feels heavy, jumpy)

10:30pm - anxiety is getting a little bad, head is heavy

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[getofflex]

7 minutes ago, holli said:

today was… a little scary not going to lie. my usual tremors i get an hour or so after taking my zoloft dose were much more intense today

I'm sorry to hear this.  I can understand why this would be scary.  I believe that as you recover from the crash, and get lower on your Zoloft this will eventually decrease and go away.  

 

That is great that drawing and painting distracts you!  I used distraction a lot when I was in early withdrawal.  It keeps us from thinking about the symptoms, and going into a downward spiral.  

 

I applaud you for being so patient and having the endurance and perseverance to keep on going.  I know this is very difficult, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  

[holli]

11 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I believe that as you recover from the crash, and get lower on your Zoloft this will eventually decrease and go away.

i really hope so! it was crazy how awful it was today, my nervous system just felt like it was in complete meltdown mode… i really hope it’s not that bad tomorrow!

 

11 minutes ago, getofflex said:

applaud you for being so patient and having the endurance and perseverance to keep on going.  I know this is very difficult, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

i honestly have the patience and endurance because i’m determined to make up for life and time that this drug has robbed me of for the past nearly two years. i really look forward to the day i can look back at this as a distant, bad memory. i’m not going to take anything for granted. this experience has been and is extremely difficult but i know it will only make me stronger.

[holli]

checking in with my notes! thankfully today the tremors were nowhere near as bad… however, i threw up instead  also i should add, another symptom i get that seems to come on and off throughout the day with no pattern is a feeling that i’m sinking through the floor? like my body is moving when it’s not? it’s so strange. i looked on the “inner compass” site on their a-z withdrawal symptoms and this sensation lines up with something called ataxia… it’s an odd moment where you have a symptom that you can’t describe and then you see it and you’re like “oh! i’m not crazy!”. still quite an uncomfortable symptom though. 

 

 

24th october: 

12:30am - head feels sensitive 

2:30am - fell asleep

11am - woke up anxious

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid sertraline

12pm - my brain feels like it’s been turned off, dp/dr, slight tremors

12:30pm - had a snack, tremors increasing a little, nausea

1pm - tremors are intense now, nausea is increasing, head feels “off”

1:30pm - lunch, really hard to keep down because of nausea, tremors still intense, neck is tense

1:45pm - threw up, felt really overwhelmed 

2pm - tremors are easing, my head feels heavy and “off”, quite hot

3pm - i feel calmer in my mind but my body can’t relax, it’s uncomfortable, i feel it in my nerves. still have nausea and head still feels “off”

3:30pm - about the same as above but slight tremors, body feels heavy, anxiety keeps surging 

4pm - can still feel the nerve pain, head is tingling

5pm - had a snack, brain feels turned off and my head is heavy/neck tense. took birth control (i realise i forgot to take it for 2 days… i hope this doesn’t affect anything?)

6:30pm - dinner, head still feels heavy, body achey/heavy, a bit of internal vibrations in arms

7pm - legs really ache where i usually get tremors even though tremors weren’t as bad as yesterday 

8pm - had a snack, aches have eased, keep getting surges of anxiety, really hot

9pm - weird head sensations, almost like a weak brain zap

9:30pm - drawing but having anxious thoughts and it’s making it difficult 

10pm - still a bit anxious, very hot too

10:30pm - the same as above. crazy that on a cold october night i have my window open and i’m still sweating 

 

 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[getofflex]

1 minute ago, holli said:

thankfully today the tremors were nowhere near as bad

Thank God for that.  I'm sorry you threw up today.  The symptoms do tend to morph from time to time in this process.  Hang in there, and thanks for keeping us up to date each day!  

[holli]

hello, here with more notes! today is day 7 of lowering and moving to liquid, i don’t know if i really feel any different yet, it’s hard to say. but i know it takes time! 

 

unfortunately i did throw up again today though… i seem to just get really overwhelmed about 2 hours after the dose. it starts with feeling restless, then getting super hot, then tremors, then my stomach starts churning and then i suddenly throw up with not much warning. it’s very distressing not going to lie! i go from waking up with bearable anxiety but i sip tea and wake up gently, to just complete distress and feeling awful in a matter of an hour. it’s so weird. i honestly think that i only wake up with anxiety because i’m nervous for the day, it never seems overwhelming when i wake up, it’s more like “sigh, here we go again”.

 

i also had a horrible moment last night as you can see in the notes, i’m guessing this might be the withdrawal hitting because it’s 12 hours after the dose. i just dealt with it by going to sleep which thankfully worked because i was tired enough lol

 

25th october:

12am - hot flushes, head tingling, both making me anxious, just want to sleep really bad. slight tremors, trying to calm down 

12:30am - calmed and cooled down a bit, still getting rushes of anxiety/panic and the occasional hot flush

1:30am - got up and went to the bathroom and my whole body was tense, made it really hard to walk, vertigo when stood up was making me panic, whole body aches

2am - fell asleep, had a really good sleep

9am - i remember waking up and seeing the time and going back to sleep really happy and relaxed

11am - woke up a little anxious, heavy body

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid zoloft, slight tremors

12pm - doing okay, just minor tremors, a little hot and head feels a little “off”

12:15pm - nausea starting, getting restless

12:30pm - had a snack, tremors getting intense, sweating and really hot, nausea increasing

1pm - tremors eased a little, still really hot and sweating, head heavy/neck tense 

1:30pm - lunch, threw up, still super hot

2pm - slight tremors, cooled down a tiny bit, heavy head/tense neck 

2:30pm - same as above but i feel tired from it all

3pm - tremors increasing a little, electrical head feeling, not hot anymore but i’m having to keep my window open

3:30pm - heavy body, tremors gone, internal vibrations, heavy head, still kinda electrical

4pm - feel incredibly uncomfortable in all my muscles/nerves, heavy head/tense neck, tremors back a little but still have internal vibrations too, nausea also back

4:30pm - still the same as above

5pm - took birth control, above symptoms have eased, had a snack

6:30pm - dinner, heavy limbs and head

7pm - still heavy and a bit achey, little bit of nausea

8pm - had a snack, internal vibrations

9pm - getting hot, feel a little anxious

10pm - doing okay, just tired and a little “off”, ears felt blocked for a while

10:30pm - dp/dr, feeling a little restless

 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[Altostrata]

@Holly, the nausea would be your reaction to Zoloft, still. Please give it another couple of days, the dosage reduction is just now starting to fully take effect.

[holli]

hope everyone’s having a good day! i didn’t throw up today!! however it’s been really hard not to, nausea has been pretty awful all day, even as i type now. i’ve also just had a different kind of rough day in general, my body and head feels like it’s full of lead today, from the moment i woke up to now. i’m guessing this could be my body adjusting to the dose? i hope it passes, it’s extremely uncomfortable. 

 

im also hoping this feeling hot passes soon too, i want so badly to just cosy up in blankets to get through the symptoms but instead i’m too warm to have anything on me. it’s annoying to say the least.

 

26th october:

1:00am - got up to use the bathroom and body feels tense again like last night, no bad vertigo this time

2am - fell asleep

11am - woke up, whole body aches and feels really heavy, feels like i’ve been run over by a truck, little bit of nausea

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid zoloft, feel “off”

12pm - feel uncomfortable all over, anxiety in my chest

12:30pm - had a snack, slight tremors, nausea, dp/dr, getting hot

1pm - tremors more intense, nausea increasing

1:30pm - lunch, head feels heavy, tremors not too bad

2pm - head is really heavy, feels like it’s going to explode from pressure, barely any tremors and nausea is bearable

3pm - same as above, feel really uncomfortable and achey

3:30pm - body is really stiff, getting a bit of vertigo 

4pm - head still feels very heavy, slight tremors & internal vibrations, dp/dr

5pm - snack, aches eased, slight tremors in my back making me feel like i’m constantly moving, feels weird and uncomfortable. whenever i move my head it feels like a bowling ball is moving in it

5:30pm - ataxia sensation really strong now, dp/dr

6pm - took birth control, the tension in my back and neck is making me sway when i sit up straight

6:30pm - dinner, really hard to keep down because nausea is suddenly bad

7:30pm - head feels electrical, getting hot

9pm - snack, cooling down a bit, heavy and tired head

10pm - i can feel that it’s cold in my room, but i’m hot myself and my arms feel like they’re burning? getting low because i’m tired of being too warm, slight nausea 

10:30pm - internal vibrations in arms

 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[holli]

checking in with todays notes! symptoms still changing, todays most prominent one was the heavy head. i’m associating it with the dose drop? it basically feels like my head has been filled with sand and when i move my head, it slowly moves? it varies in intensity throughout the day, it’s at its worst at around 3/4pm and eases at 9/10pm. a lot of my symptoms seem to have set times that they pop up, getting hot/feeling like my arms and head are burning is 1/2pm and then it comes back at 9/10pm, sometimes later. it’s weird, but this whole thing is.

 

27th october:

12:30am - uncomfortable hot flush

1:00am - cooled down that i’m actually cold for once

2am - fell asleep

11am - woke up anxious and achey, little bit of nausea

11:30am - took 11.2mg liquid zoloft. feeling uncomfortable and head feels “off”

12pm - slight tremors, tension in neck

12:30pm - snack, neck is uncomfortably stiff, whole body is tense

1pm - tremors increasing, vertigo, getting hot, head pressure 

1:30pm - lunch, struggled to keep it down. same as above

2pm - tremors easing a bit, have the bowling ball head sensation again

2:30pm - nausea increasing a bit with same as above

3:30pm - still the same, head is really heavy

4:30pm - snack, mostly eased but head is still heavy and nausea is still bad 

5:30pm - nausea has eased but head is still heavy and neck is tense

6pm - dinner

7pm - took birth control, feel spaced out and heavy

8pm - snack, same as above still, getting hot

9pm - really hot, mostly in arms, neck and head. a little bit of nausea 

10pm - cooled down but head feels electrical, nerve rushes in my arms 

10:30pm - just generally feel “off” and uncomfortable 

11pm - getting hot again and it’s making me anxious, slight tremors

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot

[Altostrata]

I am concerned that you are still experiencing adverse effects from Zoloft. Would you consider reducing to 11mg? Please continue daily notes.

[holli]

14 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

I am concerned that you are still experiencing adverse effects from Zoloft. Would you consider reducing to 11mg? Please continue daily notes.

 

sure! i can do that tomorrow morning!

 

i can tell it’s still adverse because i tend to actually forget to make much notes in the evening and night because of how it lessens, whereas in the peak at 12-4pm i’m constantly updating notes with stuff changing and being intense. that part of my day is really tiring, i just constantly remind myself “in a couple of hours, it’ll ease” and of course i don’t believe that in the moment because of how much distress i’m in but it always lessens regardless. 

 

i do get an uptick in symptoms in the late evening for some reason though but that’s only since the reduction i believe so i’m guessing that’s just the effect of it.

 

but i’ll drop to 11mg in the morning and i’ll keep going with the notes! thank you for your help and input as always

[holli]

hi, here with notes! i will say, trying to get 11mg which is 5.5ml is really hard. the lines on my 10ml syringe i use only goes up in .2, .4, .6 and .8, and trying to get it in between 4 and 6 this morning was really difficult and i don’t even know if i got it right. 

 

so with that in mind, would it be okay if i went to 5.4ml instead? that would be 10.8mg but i don’t know if that’s considered too much of a drop?

 

28th october:

3am - fell asleep, took a while because i kept going hot and cold and couldn’t get comfortable 

11am - woke up, a bit achey

11:30am - took 11mg liquid zoloft

12pm - starting to feel a bit “off” and uncomfortable, little bit of nausea

12:30pm - snack, nausea is bad, tremors increasing 

12:45pm - threw up, tremors intense, arms really hot

1pm - head pressure, tremors lessened a bit, still have nausea 

1:30pm - lunch, nausea but not too bad, heavy head 

2pm - tremors eased, head getting really heavy, head pressure

3pm - tremors in surges, head is still super heavy and body feels really uncomfortable , neck and jaw tense

3:30pm - tremors gone, body still really uncomfortable feeling, head still very heavy, nausea increasing

4pm - everything easing a tiny bit

4:30pm - snack, head feels electrical, internal vibrations

5:30pm - dp/dr

6:30pm - dinner, heavy head & dp/dr

8pm - took birth control, up until now it’s just been heavy head/body, getting a little hot now with vertigo

8:30pm - hot flush in arms, back and head

9pm - still have burning sensation in those places but less intense, head pressure

10:30pm - still the same 

 

24/7 symptoms are: no appetite, jelly legs, increased heartbeat, not being able to stand/walk long, feeling very hot