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Punarbhava

Rise Together

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Punarbhava

Rise Together


It's a beautiful time to be alive.
And the long walk home is peopled....
We, are everywhere.

Yet the struggle to surrender is where we walk alone.
So the next time you fall....
LOOK
to either side where you lie
and take the hand
of your dear Sister or Brother
whose own face is muddied.

We can rise together,
even if we fall alone......
for it's a beautiful time to be alive
even
on this walk home.



Em Claire 2007


To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

 

Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still.

(Chinese Proverb)

 

I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?"

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Brandy

Beautiful!

 

Thank you for posting that!


I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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summer

Beautiful, Pun!


 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Brandon

Simply Beautiful.

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Healing

Loved it! And I had a synchro -- my best friend fell down today while jogging (she's fine!) and we were saying exactly this about how to look at the fall!


1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

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Neuroplastic
:) :) :) Thank you so much for this, Pun - my mind has gone into "That-is-awesome" meltobraino.

2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression

2008 - Paxil c/t

Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving

 

 

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once”

Albert Einstein

 

"Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!"

Surviving Antidepressants ;)

 

And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking.

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stan

since these hell years, i feel guilty to enjoy happiness and i fear

 

i see i am still not recovered but it is beautiful


for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

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Healing

Great insight, Stan! I feel this way, too. Guilt about happiness is so, so common.


1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

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summer

Guilt about happiness is so, so common.

Sad but so true. It stems from something that went on (wrong) when we were growing up. It's almost like we knew happiness wasn't for us... it was for those other people. In my case, my mom was a very unhappy person -- I learned early on that's how one was "supposed" to live.


 

 

Charter Member 2011

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stan

Sad but so true. It stems from something that went on (wrong) when we were growing up. It's almost like we knew happiness wasn't for us... it was for those other people. In my case, my mom was a very unhappy person -- I learned early on that's how one was "supposed" to live.

 

do not make me cry, my summer !

for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

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summer

 

Sad but so true. It stems from something that went on (wrong) when we were growing up. It's almost like we knew happiness wasn't for us... it was for those other people. In my case, my mom was a very unhappy person -- I learned early on that's how one was "supposed" to live.

 

do not make me cry, my summer !

 

I didn't mean to, Stan. We will rise together! xo


 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Healing

Sad but so true. It stems from something that went on (wrong) when we were growing up. It's almost like we knew happiness wasn't for us... it was for those other people. In my case, my mom was a very unhappy person -- I learned early on that's how one was "supposed" to live.

 

We will rise together! xo

 

Well, summer, 9/10ths of the battle is recognizing the problem and how it came to be, which you have already done.

 

Now, for the rising together part. We will all help each other to permit ourselves to be happy now. ^_^


1996-97 - Paxil x 9 months, tapered, suffered 8 months withdrawal but didn't know it was withdrawal, so...

1998-2001 - Zoloft, tapered, again unwittingly went into withdrawal, so...

2002-03 - Paxil x 20 months, developed severe headaches, so...

Sep 03 - May 05 - Paxil taper took 20 months, severe physical, moderate psychological symptoms

Sep 03 - Jun 05 - took Prozac to help with Paxil taper - not recommended

Jul 05 to date - post-taper, severe psychological, moderate physical symptoms, improving very slowly

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Punarbhava

:) :) :) Thank you so much for this, Pun - my mind has gone into "That-is-awesome" meltobraino.

 

 

LOL!! re: the "meltobraino" term.

 

 

I went into meltohearto and meltospirito when I read the poem and then my eyes went into meltotearo as I thought of all of us struggling and reaching out to lift each other up.

 

 

Thanks NEURO and EVERYONE for your wonderful reactions. It warms my heart to know that this poem moved you as much as it has moved me.

 

 

Your comments have given me a rise today so I THANK YOU!!!

 

 

Punar


To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

 

Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still.

(Chinese Proverb)

 

I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?"

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summer

 

Sad but so true. It stems from something that went on (wrong) when we were growing up. It's almost like we knew happiness wasn't for us... it was for those other people. In my case, my mom was a very unhappy person -- I learned early on that's how one was "supposed" to live.

 

We will rise together! xo

 

 

Now, for the rising together part. We will all help each other to permit ourselves to be happy now. ^_^

 

Sounds wonderful to me! :D


 

 

Charter Member 2011

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summer

Hey Punar... off topic a bit, but I was thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling? xo


 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Punarbhava

Hey Punar... off topic a bit, but I was thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling? xo

 

 

Summer.........

 

it may be an off topic you may not wish to get into (LOL). Consequently, I will briefly state that I'm trying to wiggle my way out of an intense wave and feel that my wiggling has produced a slight bit of relief (so it seems ATM).

 

 

So, my plan is to continue to wiggle myself silly for the remainder of the week and pray that I will lose a least ONE pound of weight in the process (LOL).

 

 

Oh how I truly wish I could wiggle effortlessly (lol) without feeling physically over-taxed. (lol) Anyway, I can mentally visualize can't I?

 

 

Anyway, thank you so much for asking. It was wonderfully sweet of you to inquire and I truly appreciate your spirit!!

 

 

BTW, I quickly read on another post that your taper is going okay so far. This is fabulous news! Just go slow.......do not rush the process and you will do fine.

 

 

I know the tapering road can seem so darn long but it won't feel as long IF you can maintain a large degree of quality living in the process. So, go slow and you'll feel well enough to wiggle vigoursly along the way. (LOL)

 

Okay, I'm getting too insane. Time to get off-line. (lol)

 

 

Much Wiggling to You!

 

Punar


To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

 

Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still.

(Chinese Proverb)

 

I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?"

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Rhiannon

Punar, thank you for this poem, and thanks for sharing with us--you know, it's okay to share even when you're not feeling so great. You lift us up, and we also want to lift you up; our hands are there for you too when you need it.

 

Thank you for starting my day with thoughts of love and hope.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Punarbhava

Punar, thank you for this poem, and thanks for sharing with us--you know, it's okay to share even when you're not feeling so great. You lift us up, and we also want to lift you up; our hands are there for you too when you need it.

 

Thank you for starting my day with thoughts of love and hope.

 

Hi Phi......

 

 

So glad to hear that the poem moved your spirit!

 

 

I wish there was a teary/sobbing emoticon I could utilize to show how deeply your post affected me. Thank you so very much for the kind and caring words and offer!!

 

 

I tried several times to compose a post but couldn't do it without becoming lost for words and all choked up with emotion. (lol) I laugh but serioulsy true!

 

 

The combination of Summer's post and yours pushed me over the emotional and spiritual edge of feeling overwhelmed by loving kindness. Thank you both once again!

 

 

I try not to talk, in depth too often, about my WD journeys since, it can flip me into trauma too easily which only makes things worse. I can't even write my introduction yet due to this fact. (lol) I just don't have enough distance from the long years of repeated WD experiences since, I'm still in the FINAL recovery phases from ditching the LAST drug.

 

 

I do have some days where I can share some details but most days I try to focus on managing my emotional reactions rather than reacting to my reactions (lol). I'm trying to ride things out and will continue to do so, no matter how long it may take.

 

 

I do however, use narcissist self-inflating terminology in my humour as a means to sound ultimately empowered and indestructible. (lol) As I've mentioned to a friend: the more I can "act out" via humour the saner I can feel. :D

 

 

Anyway, I better post this before I go into one of those extravaganzas. :D

 

 

Again, thank you both for such caring thoughts and for extending a spiritual hand of support!! I may even take you up on the offer sometime soon. :)

 

 

 

Punar


To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

 

Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still.

(Chinese Proverb)

 

I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?"

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summer

"Again, thank you both for such caring thoughts and for extending a spiritual hand of support!! I may even take you up on the offer sometime soon." (by Punar)

 

 

 

Waiting! :)


 

 

Charter Member 2011

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Punarbhava

"Again, thank you both for such caring thoughts and for extending a spiritual hand of support!! I may even take you up on the offer sometime soon." (by Punar)

 

 

 

Waiting! :)

 

 

Where are those "sobbing: emoticons when I need them?? (lol)

 

 

Honestly, we need to "rise together" to solve this emoticon deprivation crisis. :D

 

 

On a serious note: Thanks Summer!

 

 

Pun


To Face My Trials with "The Grace of a Woman Rather Than the Grief of a Child". (quote section by Veronica A. Shoffstall)

 

Be Not Afraid of Growing Slowly. Be Afraid of Only Standing Still.

(Chinese Proverb)

 

I Create and Build Empowerment Within Each Time I Choose to Face A Fear, Sit with it and Ask Myself, "What Do I Need to Learn?"

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Neuroplastic

emoticon deprivation crisis.

I'd need to (I guess) re-read the whole thread to found out what this is, but it sounds meltobraino.


2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression

2008 - Paxil c/t

Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving

 

 

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once”

Albert Einstein

 

"Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!"

Surviving Antidepressants ;)

 

And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking.

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