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Bernard: Has anyone recovered from antipsychotics?


Bernard

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Hi everyone, not even sure this forum is still active, but I want to give it a try, because I really want to share my experience here.
I've been put on Amisulpride (solian)  in 2018. I was on it for 10 months at 600 mg. After having discontinued it, i've experience massive side effects. to this day, I live with a foggy brain on a daily basis, I'm just hopeless, I sleep all day, hoping that the next day would be different, and that I can experience good days, as I could before being on meds. I can barely read or watch a movie, I graduated from university, but I had to give up all the projects I had, because I'm not up to it at the moment, it's simply impossible for me to commit to something I know I won't be up to the task.
Anyways, I dread the day I was introduced to psychiatry, like many of you I suppose, and I don't know if I'm ever going to recover I mean, is it just a waste of time. My brain feels so heavy, I can feel it struggling, it is so painful to watch. I used to be a very creative person, who was always keen on learning, and I could rely on my brain every time I needed it. Now, my brain fails me, when I need it, it just doesn't respond, it's a very painful experience to witness my brain in such a dire condition. It just doesn't work anymore, I can't make connection between things, can't listen to podcasts, because it's as though words don't go through my ears anymore. I basically feel dumb all the time and out of touch. Before being on meds, granted I had paranoia and things along those lines that needed to be taken care of, but now, as well as still experiencing disturbing thoughts, I also have to deal with this withdrawal. Can't seem to see the end of it, I'm as impaired as I was 3 years ago, and I have no idea how long I'll be able to hold like this. Just want to give up, or go back on amisulpride so as to do a proper tapper, as I have basically discontinued it cold turkey. Any suggestions on what do to? would it be a mistake to be put back on drugs, knowing that I'm utterly traumatized by the mere idea, of taking psychiatric drugs again. Please help me.
Best regards

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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3 years now that I'm off-meds. But my brain is stil so impaired. I have memory problem, I can't concentrate for long, have a hard time following a conversation withought losing the thread. I seriously feel I have a brain domage and I won't never recover. I feel like I can't be understand in this process, I just feel so alone. It's a big step for me to publish here, i honestly don't know where I've found the strength to do so, but here I am. I'd like to hear people that have recovered from antipsychotics at a high dose. Mine was amisulpride 600. please give me accounts that give me hope.

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Bernard: Has anyone recovered from antipsychotics?
  • Administrator

Welcome, @Bernard

 

You went off amulsipride in 2018? How did you go off? How did you feel after you stopped? How's your sleep? Are you taking any other drugs?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi, sorry when it comes to date it’s a bit fuzzy. I struggle to provide accurate time reference, but still I can try. 
okay so as I said I was put on 600 mg, for roughly 8-10 months. At this stage I was already a zombie, that is, I was pale I had lost weight, I was starting to nice that I struggled to watch a movie without losing the plot. 
noticing that I wanted to cone off of them, which I did. Within one month It was done. I know now that it’s too short, and that may be why I’m having now adverse side effects.

so once I was finally off of them, that’s when everything fell apart. I really felt something was wrong. I couldn’t sleep before 3am, I had nausea every time I was in a car, I couldn’t read anymore, waking up before 11 was a no-go, and I am beyond tired when I get off the bed. I forgot the name of my previous adresses, the names of my old friends, my brain is just messy, and I live in a massive brain for on a daily basis. Also I have developed sleep apnea. Even though my sleep is getting somewhat better now, that is to say, I sleep a bit earlier and I don’t wake up as much during the night. 
but yeah the impact these drugs has had on me is beyond comprehensible, it has brought me down to my knees, literally. Had to drop out of school, I feel so useless, I don’t listen to music anymore cause it doesn’t affect me anymore, I just don’t feel a human being with day to day problems. I’m experiencing something else that is not part of the nature. I feel so alone in this process. I don’t want to see my friends cause they can’t understand the trauma I’m going through, they can’t grasp the things I’ve lost to psychiatry, it’s like my soul has been sucked out of me really. I call myself a ghost, a saoul that wanders the street so lost, looking for a purpose again, but I can’t cause everything is shattered and I can’t rely on my brain anymore. Sometimes I’m watching the young students, and in my head I’m like I used to be like you, young and innocent, please enjoy life it’s so precious, and whatever your pain is don’t go to psychiatry, they’re going to make you less than a human they’re going to destroy you.

I dread the day I went to psychiatry, if I had the chance I would have gone to prison instead. Cause I feel as though I have a life sentence now. Erasing somebody’s memory, taste for life, excitement, fear, sadness, is inhuman. They should be held accountable god damn it. 

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hear you Bernard. I did cold turkey from amisulpride on 2018 too! I was also on 600mg and even more.

In 2019 I got back on amisulpride (Solian). And today Im currently on 250mg and planning to make a gradual withdrawal, 10% reduction per month.

 

I feel you with all my heart but don't recommend you to go on these meds again.

It has been three years in your recovery, don't throw it off just yet.

 

I believe you can do hard things.

 

Try:

supplements: Magnesium, D3, B12.

 

Therapy: CBT therapy, MBCT therapy and EMDR, choose one to start with.

 

Daily exercise:  Walking 30minutes a day, stretching and Yoga practice and Meditation

 

Diet: eliminate foods like sugar, carbs, vegetable oils, wheat and caffeine. 

 

You can do a bunch of stuff to ease the suffering and pain.I sure hope for you to feel better once again. 

Feel free to write me back and hoping to hear an update from you very soon!

 

moderates- what are your thoughts?

 

Good luck in your journey Bernard and welcome to SA(SurvivingAntidepressants) forums!

Joseph.

 

 

Current med: Pride100 ( Generic Amisulpride / Solian ) 

2016 - September- Started taking Amisulpride,  2017 - Jan-1000mg, Feb-800mg, Apr-600mg.  2018 - Mar-400mg, May-200mg, 

CT Jul2018 - Feb2019. Reinstated in the hospital .

2019 - Feb-800mg, Mar-1200mg, Apr-1000mg, May-800mg, Aug-600mg2020 - Jul-400mg.

2021 - Apr-350mg, May-300mg, Jun-250mg. Nov-225mg, Dec-200mg. 2022- Jan-180mg

Daily Supplements: D3 (1000 UI)x1 per day, Omega3 Fish Oil (600mg active ingredient) x3 per day

💬My withdrawal thread 🎯-I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 1 month later...

How are you Bernard?

Current med: Pride100 ( Generic Amisulpride / Solian ) 

2016 - September- Started taking Amisulpride,  2017 - Jan-1000mg, Feb-800mg, Apr-600mg.  2018 - Mar-400mg, May-200mg, 

CT Jul2018 - Feb2019. Reinstated in the hospital .

2019 - Feb-800mg, Mar-1200mg, Apr-1000mg, May-800mg, Aug-600mg2020 - Jul-400mg.

2021 - Apr-350mg, May-300mg, Jun-250mg. Nov-225mg, Dec-200mg. 2022- Jan-180mg

Daily Supplements: D3 (1000 UI)x1 per day, Omega3 Fish Oil (600mg active ingredient) x3 per day

💬My withdrawal thread 🎯-I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Hey man, huh let’s say I’m okay. I really struggle with my sleep. As I said it you want to Skype sometime we could exchange every now and then. Cause there is so much to talk about, although speaking here is fine too!

but yeah I still haven’t recovered, I just don’t possess my brain and that freaks the hell out of me. It’s such a eerie experience to live. Not knowing yourself anymore, start from scratch.

I’d sometimes dive into the things I used to like, and I’d remember the feelings I’d have while doing it. And now the feelings are gone but I still have the memory of it if that makes sense. So it’s frighting I’m just watching my old sert through experiencing things I used to do, but by doing so, The harsh reality comes out: I’m bot the same and I miss my old self so much.

Im about to start a PhD but I don’t feel confident enough I feel like an alien really. So I’m bot sure I belong here anymore. I feel like I am a robot and I don’t fit in and belongs in society, I view myself as an emotionless ghost.it’s tough. 3 years I’m in this state and it might well last several years again. Maybe I’ll never recover.

What about you ?

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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Stay positive, and I have to say that It sounds like you have Dp/Dr..

 

Current med: Pride100 ( Generic Amisulpride / Solian ) 

2016 - September- Started taking Amisulpride,  2017 - Jan-1000mg, Feb-800mg, Apr-600mg.  2018 - Mar-400mg, May-200mg, 

CT Jul2018 - Feb2019. Reinstated in the hospital .

2019 - Feb-800mg, Mar-1200mg, Apr-1000mg, May-800mg, Aug-600mg2020 - Jul-400mg.

2021 - Apr-350mg, May-300mg, Jun-250mg. Nov-225mg, Dec-200mg. 2022- Jan-180mg

Daily Supplements: D3 (1000 UI)x1 per day, Omega3 Fish Oil (600mg active ingredient) x3 per day

💬My withdrawal thread 🎯-I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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How come? 😀

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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You’re interest to talk on Skype? Sorry I don’t mean to be pushy but yeah I’d like to talk with people that have shared my experience. And you can’t find that everywhere, to say the least. 
 

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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It's highly important to talk it through.. you can share here weekly, even daily- it will be vital. 

talk about your symptoms and your everyday life situations and thinking patterns, that's one way we can get to the root problems.

.

There's a big team here that has helped tons of people, I believe that if you'll share more- moderators and other users, like me, will start to notice more and more, and eventually join in for consultation and help you in your journey to get through the other side.

 

Skype might be a good idea, but for now I prefer we talk here in this platform (inbox is also an option)

Current med: Pride100 ( Generic Amisulpride / Solian ) 

2016 - September- Started taking Amisulpride,  2017 - Jan-1000mg, Feb-800mg, Apr-600mg.  2018 - Mar-400mg, May-200mg, 

CT Jul2018 - Feb2019. Reinstated in the hospital .

2019 - Feb-800mg, Mar-1200mg, Apr-1000mg, May-800mg, Aug-600mg2020 - Jul-400mg.

2021 - Apr-350mg, May-300mg, Jun-250mg. Nov-225mg, Dec-200mg. 2022- Jan-180mg

Daily Supplements: D3 (1000 UI)x1 per day, Omega3 Fish Oil (600mg active ingredient) x3 per day

💬My withdrawal thread 🎯-I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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I wonder if you did a slow taper you still had the same symptoms.

 

Problems of sleep. Does your sleep apnea got any better? Dont be sleeping on your back it triggers it.

 

When you're having the memories of your old self, then thoughts you're an emotionless robot.. How do you cope when the fear comes? What brings you down to earth?  Is your fear is anxiety related?

Current med: Pride100 ( Generic Amisulpride / Solian ) 

2016 - September- Started taking Amisulpride,  2017 - Jan-1000mg, Feb-800mg, Apr-600mg.  2018 - Mar-400mg, May-200mg, 

CT Jul2018 - Feb2019. Reinstated in the hospital .

2019 - Feb-800mg, Mar-1200mg, Apr-1000mg, May-800mg, Aug-600mg2020 - Jul-400mg.

2021 - Apr-350mg, May-300mg, Jun-250mg. Nov-225mg, Dec-200mg. 2022- Jan-180mg

Daily Supplements: D3 (1000 UI)x1 per day, Omega3 Fish Oil (600mg active ingredient) x3 per day

💬My withdrawal thread 🎯-I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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No worries I totally get your point.

I agree with you on the fact that I should put more content about my personal journey. Sharing might be a big help indeed, although wallowing in sadness every day may well be quite detrimental actually. At some point you need to take the bull by the horns and get on with your life.

 

Now, to answer your questions, there is a few things I’d like to share with you.

First off, as far as the taper goes, I can confidently say that If I had done a proper one, today I would be way better off, no question about that. I mean you know how solian is such a powerful drug. And going from 600 to 0 was a very poor judgment on my part. Funny thing is, I went off of it while being at the hospital. You’d think a psychiatrist would have told me that I should tapper off slowly so as to avoid withdrawal symptoms. No, instead I’ve been told to just stop taking it, no further questions asked.
 

As for my sleep, yeah as I have mentioned it earlier, it’s quite bad. I’d wake up 4 times during the night and in the morning I’m just exhausted, no matter how long I would have slept. In fact the more I sleep the more fatigued I am.
 

How do I cope when the fear comes, well in the first place I’m a determined person and I don’t usually back down that easily when facing adversity. So I’d just keep going. To put things into perspective, if I’m playing the guitar or watching the movie, I’d just don’t want to give up, even though I feel as though it’s pointless. I’d finish the film and finish. What I had intended to learn in the first place. Putting a timer is a good plan on this front I must say, as It forces me to not quit before the time is up.
I think as you said it’s also due to the anxiety. It’s playing a role as well. But in majority, the blame lies with the drug.

As for the things that would bring me back to earth, I’d say, most important one is to basically switch off my brain and do something physical instead. So I’d go for a walk, do the washing up, go shopping or clean up the house. It’s really important for me to get those things done, as it provides me a feeling of accomplishment afterwards. I also feel it wasn’t a day wasted cause I’ve got actual proofs, that I can get things done. So it’s quite uplifting. 
Now, I wish I could listen to music again when I feel a bit down, so as to cheat me up, but it doesn’t work anymore. I’m not as moved by it, so I’d end up more depressed because it precisely reminds me how messed up I am in the first place.

if you want my advice, I think it is vital to always have a few things that you can rely on, so as to help you ease your pain and bounce back when you’re going through a rough day. I also feel routine helps me a lot in that sense. Trivial things at first glance such as making the bed as soon as I wake up, putting on some nice clothes after a shower. All of that is like a beacon for me, because I just don’t ask myself any questions while doing it. That is in my view how powerful habits and daily routine can be.

 

That was a long one, I guess I was inspired this morning. Let me know how you feel by now, and if you’re off the meds completely nowadays?

Also what are your coping mechanisms that help you go through a rough day? 

look forward to hearing your story.

 

Best regards Josef.
 

 

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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On 11/19/2021 at 9:23 PM, Bernard said:

How come? 😀

Hey Bernard, good to hear from you!

As we talked previously you said you had "zoned out" from feelings and having a "foggy" brain so I thought it might has something to do with dp/dr. Hmm maybe it's something else?

 

A routine is good, and surely helps. I'm playing the guitar too btw! :)

 

Do you rent?

Do you have a job nowdays?..

 

Im still on Amisulpride sadly, I reinstated in early 2019 after 6/7 months of cold turkey.

My current dose is 225mg and my taper rate is 10% per month.

It will take 3 years or so to finish the taper.

 

As for coping- there's a lot of stuff, I would suggest:

Mindfulness

Deep,slow diaphragmtic breathing

Meditation

Walk bare foot (on the grass if optional)

Cold showers to wash off anxiety/fear/cortisol spikes (start with warm, and then blasting cold water for 7-10 seconds and change back to warm. You can do it as many times as you wish.

Yoga

Being in nature

Exercise is also key:

40-50min walk

stretching and light exercises at home.

You might benefit a good night sleep from it

 

And last but not least- Therapy!

If friends/family cannot grasp what happened.

You don't need to to go through it alone!

 

You will recover.

I'm sending you prayers from Israel

 

 

Some links:

 


 

Oh! And don't forget to update your signature with your drug history in a linear timeline.  (abilify, risperdone, zyprexa, amisulpride and effexor)

Altostrata wrote it to you in the first comments.

 

have a great week my friend and keep in touch.

Current med: Pride100 ( Generic Amisulpride / Solian ) 

2016 - September- Started taking Amisulpride,  2017 - Jan-1000mg, Feb-800mg, Apr-600mg.  2018 - Mar-400mg, May-200mg, 

CT Jul2018 - Feb2019. Reinstated in the hospital .

2019 - Feb-800mg, Mar-1200mg, Apr-1000mg, May-800mg, Aug-600mg2020 - Jul-400mg.

2021 - Apr-350mg, May-300mg, Jun-250mg. Nov-225mg, Dec-200mg. 2022- Jan-180mg

Daily Supplements: D3 (1000 UI)x1 per day, Omega3 Fish Oil (600mg active ingredient) x3 per day

💬My withdrawal thread 🎯-I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 1 month later...

Just uptaded the signature.

2015-2016 : seroplex. 15 then stopped and went on effexor.
2016-2017 : effexor 75

2017-2018 : Abilify 5 for a couple months. And then Amisulpride gradually increased to 600 within two months.

2019: went off Amisulpride 600 after having been on it for 10 months. The tapper was very fast: 3 weeks. The same year I went off effexor (the tapper was much better, in that it lasted 10 months)

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