Emma86: Trying to heal after heavy withdrawal Lorazepam

[Emma86]

Iv been on lorazepam from last nov til this March ..for sleep.. a private dr gave this! When he never should of..I did not know it should not be given, I reinstated it for a month as I came off it for a week and tapered off it for that one week, and experienced terrible withdrawals when I went back on it, I was taking 1mg to 2 mg…

 

I tried switching to diazepam for 5 weeks 10mg to 3.5mg became suicidal, I was put in a mental hospital for 3 days given quetiapine once and diazepam 5 mg once …I became totally unstable after this with rocking sensations and I could not sleep and my tinnitus got so bad ! I stopped putting anything in my body…. And became totally suicidal was eratic! pacing and having no sleep, I lost a lot of weight. And my anxiety became depersonalisation and I separated from my body! I ended up not being able to eat of drink and loosing control of my bowels, I was put into another mental hospital put on risperidone at 6mg I was in a constant physcosis in the mental hospital in so much pain, praying to god! 
I was in there on 2 weeks I was let out and stopped for 5 days, I started it again on 3mg and became very unwell for 10 days I started loosing control of my bowels and in a lot of pain, all over my body, feeling of burning, all over my body, I became eratic and went into another mental hospital and put on quetiapine at 400mg and mitazipine at 30mg for 2months I’m in a lot of pain and in hell !!! What do I do? I can’t feel anything ! 
 

thank you emma x 
 

 

[Go2zero]

Hi Emma86,

 

Welcome to this support site. Before we can answer your questions, please give us more information first. Good that you came to this website. There is a lot of knowledge to be found and shared here. Also the members can support each other here.

 

Can you please give us specific information about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18343-please-summarize-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

 

 

[Go2zero]

Hi Emma86,

 

Thanks for making your signature. Please give me the dates when you started the mirtezapine and the quetiapine. Also give the dosages you took during this period. 

 

For example:

 

September 5 :  10 mg mirtezapine and 50 mg quetiapine

September 12:  15 mg mirtezapine and 50 mg quetiapine

September 20:  30 mg mirtezapine and 200 mg quetiapine

September 30:  30 mg mirtezapine and 400 mg quetiapine

 

We need to know the dates and dosages when you started and up dosed. Please provide this info as soon as possible.

 

If I were you I would go down to 350 mg quetiapine and leave the mirtezapine on 30mg. 

 

I have asked the other moderators for extra advise how further with the current medication, and how to deal with the lorazepam WD symptoms.

[Emma86]

I’m afraid I dont know the exact dates … I’m sorry! I just can’t rember 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Emma86 Are you in a hospital now?

 

Where is the pain? What drugs are you taking now, at what dosages? You stopped the risperidone? How did this affect your symptoms?

 

What is the plan for your release from the hospital?

 

Please try to stay calm. You are taking drugs that may very well make you feel emotionally vacant.

[Emma86]

I am not in hospital now .. the risperidone stopping it made me feel horrific and I was very ill had awful symptoms! I am at home with my mum, my thoughts are all jumbled and not ok… the quetiapine makes me feel horrific like not myself at all … the pain I feel is everywhere at different points … pain all over my body, nerve pain and my hearing and sight is not good! 

[Emma86]

I’m taking quetiapine 400mg mitazipine 30mg 

[Emma86]

I have also been given 3 courses of antibiotics in the last 2 months, as well as codene for extreme pain! I was forced promethazine an antihistamine which made me feel

horrific! But the hospital forced me it! 
thank you 

emma 

[Altostrata]

@Emma86, what times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages? How do you feel before and after taking each dose?

 

You started taking 400mg quetiapine and 30mg mirtazipine on October 13? How have your symptoms changed over the last week? How are you sleeping?

 

Why did the doctors choose to give you 400mg quetiapine? Why 30mg mirtazapine? Why not lower dosages of each drug?

[Emma86]

thank you for replying, so I was put up on these drugs due to eratic behaviour and I was screaming constantly, I was forced to go into hospital by my mum as she couldn’t deal with the behaviour, but it was not my fault as from sleep deprivation and awful drug effects I had become totally unstable and really in a lot of pain, I am not sleeping well .. my symptoms stay the same and are relentless! Thank you again 

emma 
 

 

 

I have also been given 3 courses of antibiotics in the last 2 months, as well as codene for extreme pain! I was forced promethazine an antihistamine which made me feel

horrific! But the hospital forced me it! 
thank you 

emma 

[Altostrata]

Why did you take antibiotics? What was the codeine for? How long did you take it? Where was the pain? Did the pain change in the last week or two?

 

I need to know what times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages? How do you feel before and after taking each dose?

 

Are you taking quetiapine in more than one tablet? How many tablets?

 

We know the drug effects and withdrawal effects can be terrible, but you will need to remain as calm as possible throughout this process, or you'll end up in the hospital again, probably on more drugs.

 

[Emma86]

Hi thank you so they affect me in a way that is unimaginable, my sight and my hearing are both really bad, I feel my whole body moving the whole time, weird movements with balance, my thoughts are scrambeled and I don’t connect to myself very well, I have very negative thoughts, I don’t feel human, I went into a drug induced physcosis where everything is awful’ and against me, I can’t feel love or anything good, I can’t connect to the world around me, I am in constant fear and I have pain all over my body from heat and cold and I don’t feel like I am in my body, very blurry vision! The feeling of constant phycosis and fear ! It’s hard to remain stable, as I became to eratic. And could not function from no sleep.. ! I ended up in hospital due to my eratic behaviour but it’s something I cannot change? It’s just awful! Iv tried everything . Thank you 

[Emma86]

I take them in the evening at 400mg and 39mg mitazipine. I feel horrific after taking them my eyesight feels blurry and cross eyed I feel like I can’t breath or stand up! 

[Emma86]

Before I taken them I feel horrific I as well! 

[Emma86]

Sorry for my messaging my brain isn’t working as well as it should! So sorry hope that’s clear 

[Emma86]

30mg mitazipine sorry for the typo

[Emma86]

I feel confused before the pills and mind all over the place feel sick and not present, then afterwards I feel really sick hypotension and dizzy was I can’t breath afterwards, and my sight goes crosse eyes. 

[Altostrata]

 

@Emma86 Why are you taking mirtazapine and quetiapine at the same time?

 

Are you taking quetiapine in more than one tablet? How many tablets?

 

I need to know this, my guess is you're taking way too much quetiapine. Your symptoms are that of too much quetiapine.

[Emma86]

Taking it in one tablet of 400 quetiapine and 30mg of mitazipine all together at the same time

 

i feel that I’m already dead but still alive I can’t feel love in anything I do? 
 

thank you 

[Emma86]

Iv gone down on the quetiapine to 300mg sleep has become less and more bitty my symptoms are all still here, pacing and looping thoughts terror for everything and pain all over my body shorting nerve pain in my teeth head and chest … burning sensations all over my body can’t get back to reality feeling in a constant physcosis 

thank you

emma  

[Go2zero]

On 10/23/2021 at 8:54 PM, Altostrata said:

@Emma86 Why are you taking mirtazapine and quetiapine at the same time?

 

Hi Emma, please answer the above question. 

 

Do you notice any changes (even the smallest) after going down to 300mg mirtazapine? Please describe.

 

 

 

 

Edited October 27, 2021 by Go2zero

[Emma86]

I notice I can’t sleep as well my other symptoms are still the same very distressing all the time panicking and crying , I still feel totally detached from my body and really not myself I can’t stop pacing and I have severe restlessness all over my body I still am having hallucinating.. I’m struggling with people to believe me with withdrawals as it’s honestly so bad, severe sensitive to light heat and cold I don’t have control over my thoughts or behaviours my thoughts are against Myself I can’t rest at all having severe tinnitus as well 

 

thank you 

 

emma 

[Go2zero]

On 10/23/2021 at 8:54 PM, Altostrata said:

 

@Emma86 Why are you taking mirtazapine and quetiapine at the same time?

 

Are you taking quetiapine in more than one tablet? How many tablets?

 

I need to know this, my guess is you're taking way too much quetiapine. Your symptoms are that of too much quetiapine.

 

I Emma86, you still did not answer these questions yet. Please do so, so that we can help you further!

[Emma86]

I have been told to take it at the smame

time by the drs. Taking it by one tablet with quetiapine 2 tablets mirtazpine 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Emma You have been taking 400mg quetiapine and 30mg mirtazapine since mid-October, is that correct?

 

Can you cut the quetiapine tablet in half?

 

When was the last time you talked to the doctor? Did you tell the doctor that you are feeling overdrugged?

[Emma86]

Hi sorry I did not see this thank you. So I have told the dr I feel over drugged! I am currently taking 300 mg quetiapine and 30mg mitazipine they make me sleep. But other than that im not ok. Horrid thoughts. 
 

The original problem came from a too faster a taper from lorazepam and the withdrawals sent me into over drive.. there is the mention of a possible reinstatement of lorazepam at a low dose to see if that dose anything? Would you agree.. as I 0.5 of lorazepam as I was just up for trying anything and I feel normal ! More normal than Iv felt in months. I’m not sure if it’s wise.. but at present I am totally non functional, I can only function on lorazepam.. I could do a super clean diet loads of water and a low dose to see if it works? If you think reinstating could work how long for and also then to taper over a few months.. it feels like my body can’t not be on it. Thank you

Emma 

[Emma86]

Down to 300mg quetiapine 

[Emma86]

Hi I have since reinstated on 0.5 lorazepam I stabilised, I carried on on the 300mg for 2 more weeks and then dropped to 150mg quetiapine for 3 and a half weeks I had no problems and actually felt much better! When I was taking the 300 I was getting the most horrifying feelings all over my body, I got in touch with a phyc as I needed someone to prescribe me the meds, he said stay on 0.5 lorazepam and the 30mg mirtazipine and we start with the quetiapine by going down every 2 weeks.. I have been on it for 2/3months to I thought ok… however when I dropped to 100mg a week later I started to feel very jittery! And manic, horrid sensations in the body, system not happy! I have now learnt that was far to fast what the phyc said and with my history from hell! I really need to go so slow smaller changes! So I last night took 112.5.. quartered a pill I do actually feel a little better still not right. Thinking to go up to 125 and hold there for a while. For me the lorazepam holds it all together as it was this drug that created huge dependency for me, my body can’t function without it. So I’m thinking to taper it last? Due to the history of already being so dependent and even reaching physcosis without it.. as the quetiapine and mirtazipine help me sleep which is crucial! Any advice welcomed! I can’t seem to change in my profile the history as I wrote it when I couldn’t really write, could make it clearer. ❤️🙏🏻

[Emma86]

Poly drugged on severe benzo withdrawal

 

I took lorazepam for 5months. 1mg at night I took 2mg as after a month of using it my anxiety was so bad I was given lexapro which made my anxiety worse and numbed me out to death! Took for 6 weeks stopped after then and took 3 weeks coming off. In that time that’s when my lorazepam may of been max 2mg a day to try stop the horrific side effects! After the 5 months I tapered in a month doing it bit but bit.. this was from advice from drs, a month! I was off it for a week drank some wine had a brownie and felt my anxiety shoot up into a very unhappy nervous system, I could not calm it, I reinstated a small amount but this did not work for me and I ended up not sleeping in tolerance and withdrawal I was told to start from 2mg tapering over 6 months, I was so unstable not sleeping that I tried switching to diazepam as it was a longer half life and I was increasingly non funtional on the lorazepam.. this obviously made things worse and I was sleeping 1 hour a night this was through the pandemic I had no friends to call upon I was alone with it, the depression and anxiety created suicidal ideation and from the pills! I was so bad from not sleeping, I thought of death everyday untill my dad put me in a mental hospital for 3 days they gave me olanzepine I had a reaction hypotension.. then quetiapine.. at this point I was having the most horrific sensations through my body, couldn’t walk still suffering fast thoughts, and pacing, it got bad, rocking sensations through my body and a host of weird affects, I got home to my mums and was off all meds I just got worse and worse not sleeping not eating or drinking for 10 days my mum had to take me to hospital I was in a drug induced phycosis. Everything looked like the devil I couldn’t function I felt I was burning alive, with the most intense feelings throughout my body, I was put on 6mg of risperidone within a week this calmed things it seemed and mirtazipine.. I left the hospital after being on it for 2 weeks.. I felt so strange still not ok I thought I was being poisoned stopped the meds, this gave me a 10 day window where I felt okish. But then I started to decline .. the most horrific sensations, sinking into the bed all sorts, I was gone.. I tried reinstating at a low dose but did nothing I was then put into another hospital given 400mg quetiapine within a week it did nothing but just give me horrifying side effects. I was given lorazepam on a few occasions and felt normal atleast for a bit then, but it wore off, after 6 weeks I went home I was not ok non functional my mind all over the place. I decided to reinstate lorazepam on 0.5 and have stabilised since now working on tapering others.. but this needs to be slow… has anyone been pollydrugged and totally lost themselves in hell… but after a very slow a gradual taper done the right way… healed? My system is so messed up! That I want to heal so bad but also like? After all that can I ? I will heal is my mantra. Maybe it means being on meds for quite some time.. tapering tiny amounts..to try get the brain working ok. The only thing that stabilised me was the lorazepam like a miracle.. I feel il have to use it to remain stable whilst other drug tapers commence.. and try go down 0.4 on the loraz and do it by 0.1 increments. Again trial and error.. wondered if anyone had experienced pollydrugged because of benzo withdrawals. Peace and love to all xxx

 

Edited January 15, 2022 by ChessieCat
added benzo topic title before merging with intro

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

I don't feel feel like I'm qualified to answer this, but here we go:

If I have learned anything from withdrawal it's that anything is possible. Anything. This sounds like a cop out but I've read stories of people not being able to get out of bed and being in a state of complete confusion to being able to heal. This does not happen over night. If you stick around here you'll pick up on that. I have heard of people being polydrugged and tapering. If you look at shep's success story you will see it is possible for polydrugged people to heal. Tapering while already in withdrawal I have less information on. Someone who's been here longer may be able to give you more insight or that will have to be another question you make. But know you are not alone. Take it very slow. I'm sure you learned quality of life is more important than getting off these drugs fast. Polydrugging because of benzos? I was on 8 medications at once. and have been given 3 different benzos (fun!) After trying to get off medications I was put on more for the WD symptoms. (you can see in my sig) I do not feel qualified to answer because I am not healed. I'm one year in from WD and 3-4 months in from kindling. So I'm early in the process. Avoid alcohol, pot, drugs, antibiotics (unless your life is in real danger) These can set you back. Avoid doom scrolling (reading horror stories) Can you eat? Sleep? Walk? Are you currently able to support a hobby or distraction of any kind? 

So yes it has happened, here are a few stories:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/22891-sheps-success-leaving-platos-cave/

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=95076.msg1216141#msg1216141

Post someone made:

Here are so many buddies who withdraw from different psycho meds. I am one of them.
I tapered over 10 meds in about 5 years.
I did not reinstate.
I did not taper properly cause I found BenzoBuddies and the ashton manual too late.
I am now 3 years off, never touched any kind of chemical med again.
I tapered z-drugs, benzos, ADs, anti-psychotics - I was polydrugged.
Since I am med free, no more depression, panic attacks and my true self is back. I will never give this up again.
Was worth it to stop this nonsense.

 

 

[Emma86]

Thank you! Really appreciate this so much 🙏🏻 There’s hope! 🙏🏻 ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Hibari]

I too was poly-drugged and on benzos twice.   I am now 11 months off of Clonzapam and medication free.

 

It took me 6 years, including the time on the meds, but that does not have to be your journey.  I got on benzos a second time for about 4 months but then did a 22 month taper off of them to remain functional.   That added to the length of time.

 

I am doing pretty well.  I work, laugh, have no more depression or despair.   I know there is till more healing in front of me and that is okay.

 

I have read many stories of healing on this site and on Benzo Buddies.  Hundreds of people have healed after getting off of medication and as mentioned above, from extreme states to then living life. 

 

This will end and you will have your life back.

[Emma86]

Thank you really appreciate this! ❤️🙏🏻✨ great to hear your journey 

[ChessieCat]

I have moved the new topic you created and merged it with an existing topic.

 

Please carefully read Post #1 of the following:

 

tips-for-tapering-off-seroquel-quetiapine

 

[Emma86]

  

On 1/8/2022 at 3:52 AM, Bluewisp said:

I've read somewhere in this thread that it can be a big hit to go from XR to standard. And I tested it myself. After the minimal XR pill, I switched to standard and got sudden muscle fatigue and pain in all articulations, so much that nothing could explain this otherwise. I was even not able to carry a backpack above 10min when normally, I was doing it often during all summer and for hours. It happened during the first week, and it was brutal. So tapering from XR itself is a kind of parallel taper it seems.

 

Thank you so much for this! ReAly appreciate it, I’m feeling the best thing to do is 50mg XR then the rest instant untill I get to the smaller bits? 
what did you do once you went lower than the 50 XR did you use 25mg instant pills and cut them? 
Im also defintly stabilising where I am

For a good 3/4 weeks untill I drop again.. in regards to the lorazepam and mirtazipine there is a difficult choice as to when to taper the benzo. Do I get off the quetiapine first then do the benzo. With my history it was the benzo withdrawal that caused such a mess and then more drugs given. So I want to give my brain the chance to be ok without all this, however is it wise to stabilise where I am then taper by water the lorazepam so that I’m functioning on a smaller dose then carry on the quetiapine taper? Hard to know the right order.. it was the benzo that stabilised me after being non functional. Is it best to keep on it through the quetiapine withdrawal .. thank you again for your advice. 
emma x 

 

Edited January 15, 2022 by ChessieCat
added quote before moving to member's intro

[Bluewisp]

I've read somewhere on the forums the order to choose but I don't remember. It was years ago. I would start with what may harm more with time, i.e.: antipsychotics (seroquel), then antidepressants, then benzos. The second reason I would put benzo at the end, is that it may be long to achieve in comparison to others. In the first page of this thread, Altostrata advise to choose seroquel instead of valium which is a benzo, so I guess my suggested order is good, but for the antidepressant I don't know. But I keep my idea: antidepressant are less hazardous than antipsychotics in my opinion so I would keep this order. Also, keeping the benzos may avoid you to have chronic insomnia from stopping seroquel. I was off benzos since 9 years when I've stopped seroquel and taking clonazepam again was the only thing that gave my sleep back, at 70-80% depending on the day (for 0.5mg) and another small increase (0.75mg) got to 90-100% but it's been also a year meanwhile that I stopped seroquel so it also count. But benzos are not recommended to help tapering in general, because you will have to taper the benzo also later. I've done it because I never had issues stopping clonazepam in the past (but I never got above 0.5mg). In general, people seems to struggle so maybe I was lucky. But you are already taking a benzo, so it doesn't make a difference if your case, that's why I would not stop the benzo first, as it may help with seroquel. All this is purely based on my personal experience. I'm not advising based on all the cases here so take it with for what it is.

 

I've read in this thread I think, that you should taper XR while transfering to standard but I don't remember exactly how to proceed. XR will lose its power of gradual release if you cut it, so it's probably not a good idea to cut a XR pill even if it could work, as mentionned in page 1. I don't know if 2x25mg of standard can be the next step after 50mg XR, because XR is not like one shot immediately. It's released with time. 2x25 will be instant and may hit you too hard. By instinct I would prefer to try 25mg than 2x25 after 50XR. It sounds a big step but I think 50mg non-xr would be heavier. In any case, my own experience has shown that XR and standard got different effects like 2 different meds even if it keeps some similarities.