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MikeM: Seeing a psychiatrist to start antidepressants. Is it worth it?


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Lived with terrible anxiety/depression my whole life.  Learned about CBT recently and that has helped, but now going through anticipatory grief and the terror has increased 10/fold at least.  Slept maybe 3 hours last night.  Is it worth trying AD's?  Terrified about withdrawal and side-effects, and even more afraid that it might stop working just as the anticipatory grief is turning to actual grief.


Been using 2mg benzos a week/max for 20 years due to being extremely careful about not overusing.  But I don't see how that is going to be enough to get me through this period.  I feel like I need it constantly (though have been refraining and instead taking 1/8mg twice/day), which helps reduce about 10% of the fear.


I need something, I just have no idea what.

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  • Moderator

Hi Mike, 

we are a site for going off of antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs by tapering. We support each other through the horror of withdrawal. We can't advise you on whether you should or should not go on antidepressants. I personally would not take antidepressants ever again (or benzos for that matter) but it is your decision what to do. 


I am wondering if some of your anxiety is already inter-dose withdrawal from benzos. What that means is that your brain has adapted to them and when you don't take them you get rebound anxiety. Can you track your anxiety over a 24 hour cycle and see how it relates to your dose timing? You might have to take them more regularly before you decide to taper (if you do). 


I'd advise you to go around the site and learn more about withdrawal and antidepressants (they are not much better than placebos - Antidepressants and the Placebo Effect (nih.gov))


I am sorry you are going through a tough time. Have you considered talking to someone about it - like a grief counselor? Or joining a grief support group with people who are going through anticipatory grief. I am sure there are some online and offline. 


Sending you warm thoughts and wishing you peace, 






Edited by Onmyway

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 


I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 


In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 


Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg


Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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Hello Mike,


Unfortunately, I can't help you with what you should or need to do, you've probably already tried a lot.  

But - don't do it !!  No antidepressants!  It's hell.


I wish you can find something for yourself.  Maybe you should consider going through a benzodiazepine withdrawal ward? I could very well imagine that your fears and depression are caused by the long-term use of benzodiazepines?!


Warm greetings and good luck!!



3 Jan 2021 5 mg escitalopram 

Beginning of March dose increase to 40mg, additionally venlafaxine 50 mg, every 5 days increase to max 150 mg (this dose ca 4 weeks)


Venlafaxine: 15.Apr. 112 mg, 22.4. 100 mg, 6.5. 87,5 mg, 20.5. 70 mg, 4.Jun. 62,5 mg,20.6. 50 mg, 21.10. 46.37 22.10. 37 mg

Escitalopram: 30.Apr. 35 mg, 23. May 30 mg, 29.Jun. 25 mg, 28.Jul. 27,5 mg, 2.8. 25 mg, 20. Sep. 25.3 mg, 30.Sep. 25.5 mg 15.Okt. 25.35 mg 16.10. 25.25 mg 18.10 25mg

24.10.21 serotonin syndrome, medication discontinued (0 mg Venlafaxin, 0 mg Escitalopram)

magnesium, omega3  

Metoprolol 23 mg 2x/d

while in hospital (till 23 of Nov: 3x Lorazepam 0.25 mg, 40 hours apart)

Diazepam: 26.11. 0.5 mg , 29.11. 0.25 mg


Olanzapin: 22.11: 0.9 mg, 23.11 1.25 mg 24.11. 1.25 mg 25.11 1.25 mg 26.11. 1 mg 27.+28.11 none, 29.11. 0.25 mg 30.11 and 1.12. 0.5 mg ongoing

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  • Shep changed the title to MikeM: Seeing a psychiatrist to start antidepressants. Is it worth it?

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