Nadia Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia Posted February 25, 2012 Author Share Posted February 25, 2012 Make sure you listen to the part about repressed anger and desire to please! '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InNeedOfHope Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 This makes so much sense. I suppose the problem is once we are in this cycle of pain and disease, it is so hard to 'feel' good and change patterns of thinking. Sept 2010 - Citalopram 1 day Sept 2010 - Zopliclone for ten weeks (paranoia ended a couple of months after coming off this and sleep settled down again until the last couple of months) Ocober 2010 - Cymbalta 30mg November 2010 - Cymbalta 60mg February 2011 - 60mg to 30 mg (lasted 10 days)reinstated 60mg March 2011 - Took 2 60mg tablets on one evening in error - paralysis of face, back of head, shoulder, stabbing in right kidney, lost 30% of hearing) March - June 2011 went down quickly 1mg a day until I got stuck at 25mg, went up to 27mg, because couldn't breath. 26th June - 26mg 3rd July - 25mg 17th July - 24mg 24th July - 23mg 7th Aug - began reducing by a bead every couple of days or so went well at first then hit a wall 24th October - now on 18.5mg. Since the kidney infection at start of September, have been in constant pain and anxiety, no let up. Given Ciprofloxacin. 8th Jan 2012 17.8mg (currently reducing 0.2mg a week) 8th Jan 2012 17.6mg last reduction was 6 days ago. 15th Jan 17.4mg 21st Jan 17.2mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarannamated Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Argh! Don't have plug-in(?) on my tablet- can't get to video, but can relate to your comments. You find much good info, Nadia. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarannamated Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 WOW!! Just now got to watch this. This is ME. I suspect it is many of us. Take home message: GET ANGRY!! Don't repress or suppress negative emotions! Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarannamated Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 The Healing Force Within Gabor Mate, MD http://drgabormate.com/the-healing-force-within/ " How does emotional repression predispose to illness? Since there is only one system, not four separate ones, whatever happens in any one part of it will affect the other parts. The repression of anger leads to the chronic secretion of stress hormones, such as cortisol, that suppress the immune system. The body’s defenses are disarmed against infection from the outside or malignant changes from within. When anger turns against the self, as it does in people unable to express it in a healthy way, hormonal imbalances can induce the immune system to mutiny against the body. Inflammatory autoimmune diseases of the joints, blood vessels and internal organs may follow, and even conditions like diabetes and Alzheimer’s. It would be rare to find an individual with any of these diagnoses whose lifelong emotional coping patterns are not stamped by difficulty with anger." Link to video with Dr. Gabor Mate http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1821-understanding-the-stress-disease-connection/page__pid__26103#entry26103 Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meistersinger Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 <br />WOW!! Just now got to watch this. This is ME. <img src='http://survivingantidepressants.org/public/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' /> <br /><br />I suspect it is many of us. <br /><br />Take home message: GET ANGRY!! Don't repress or suppress negative emotions!<br /> <br /><br /><br /> Every Osteopathic Doctor I have ever seen has told me this. I'd really like to kick my brother's arses right now for all the bull**** they put me through, but I'd end up dead, literally. History: 1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP 1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP 1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP 2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd. Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexjuice Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 I wonder of this a lot. I tend to suppress or minimize rather than confront. While I recognized this tendency as unhealthy and was working months ago on specific CBT hierarchies to successfully face fears or express emotion... I put that on hold when I deteriorated. I thought taxing myself in a highly stressful, which expressing emotion is for me, way may do more harm than good. Like, in my case, last year I stopped taking walks outside when I entered a tough window and bright light caused a cascade of problems. Of course walking on a nice sunny day is a healthy thing to do, generally. Right now there are things I'm avoiding, certain family relations are strained in a way that needs resolution or evolution at leat... But I am afraid to do harm trying to do well... It's a struggle bc my therapist wants me to engage some of these matters and I just can't afford a setback right now. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarannamated Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Interesting comment, Alex. I felt that CBT tried to minimize my emotional reactions which I already did on my own. Usually, by the time I DID get angry, it appeared to be out of proportion to the crime. I had a very loooong fuse. Since DCing Pristiq, all my fuses are blown. My emotions go from 0 to 60 in a split second but im not around people so I dont know how I handle it. I have no doubt I would be labeled bipolar if some doc didn't understand the emotional liability that withdrawal creates. It would be difficult to work on getting in touch with anger in therapy, I agree. Once the anger churning starts, it continues for awhile, so I understand your hesitation. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted July 7, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 7, 2012 Good perspective.. and reason for us to identify lifestyle choices and personality patterns that contribute to our anger. ~S As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarannamated Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Is it possible to combine the 2 threads on this topic? Imho, it is very ON topic. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1821-understanding-the-stress-disease-connection/page__pid__26128#entry26128 Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarannamated Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 Bump Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted February 27, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 27, 2014 I know this is old, but then don't we run the risk of self blame? I repress, therefore I'm sick? It's one of the problems I've had with Louise Hay. Yes, I get that it is connected, but my knees are broken because I choose to be inflexible? Isn't there a more compassionate solution to joining body and mind? One which is less "it's your own fault you are sick" ? ? "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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