YachtRock: My Introduction and Journal

[YachtRock]

3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

You should have an otolaryngologist look at it, in case it's an infection.

 

Not sure if I can get into an ENT this week before our insurance rolls over to the new provider Feb 1st, but I will start with Kaiser Urgent Care. The ear issues have been MUCH better the past few days, but not ruling out it could be a bigger issue and require antibiotics or drops. From what other members have said, it sounds like Bactrim or a Z-Pak would be the ones to request, if I had to. I wonder if a homeopathic solution like Hylands Earache Drops would help? My wife has had MANY ear infections and says I don't have the classic symptoms.

 

Friday, January 21st (Day 36 of reinstatement, no Ativan for 2 weeks)

 

7:00am Awake, roughly 8 hours but lots of disruptions, vivid dreams and a moderate bout of anxiety and brief panic around midnight (not sure why).
8:30am 1000iu/D3. Ate almond cereal with banana. Working/laptop.
10:00am 8mg Propranolol, 630mg Omega-3. Feeling a little shaky for some reason.
11:30am Light head pressure and general uneasiness but no significant symptoms at the moment
12:00pm 25mg Mag Glycinate (test)
12:45pm Feeling light brain waves as I rest on the couch. Uncomfortable sensation.
2:00pm Light internal trembling (I believe from stress/anxiety) so doing breathwork. Trying to stop catastrophizing.
3:00pm 0.5mg Trintellix
4:00pm Feeling OK, minor anx and unease
5:00pm Leftover chicken and green beans
5:30pm 25mg Mag and 630mg Omega-3
6:30pm light internal trembling again (chest)
7:00pm 8mg Propranolol
7:30pm Another snack attack, Pretzel Crisps, which turn out to have MSG
8:30pm Feeling buzzy like a slight adrenaline surge.
9:30pm BP 113/65 is the lowest I ever remember. Too low? HR 70
10:00pm Light TV in bed
11:30pm Asleep

[Altostrata]

In terms of withdrawal syndrome, I would describe your symptom pattern as mild. It appears that you are stabilizing and that small amount of Trintellix may be sufficient.

 

It is very possible that you are still taking too much propranolol. Unless you have underlying hypertension, you risk driving your blood pressure too low.

[YachtRock]

55 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

In terms of withdrawal syndrome, I would describe your symptom pattern as mild. It appears that you are stabilizing and that small amount of Trintellix may be sufficient.

 

The past few days have been mild symptom wise. Wednesday was an exception, and the most difficult day all month. It might be a window or stabilization? I am still having the broader macro effects I described a few weeks ago. But happy for the acute symptoms to calm down a bit.

 

57 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

It is very possible that you are still taking too much propranolol. Unless you have underlying hypertension, you risk driving your blood pressure too low.

 

I still plan on reducing or eliminating the beta blocker altogether, as it was only prescribed for anxiety. Would like to get to 5mg doses then wait until I can get a doctor's opinion. But having had some stage 1 and stage 2 readings this month still worries me.

 

Thanks Alto.

[Altostrata]

Just now, YachtRock said:

some stage 1 and stage 2 readings this month

 

What does this mean??

[YachtRock]

19 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What does this mean??

 

What the Healthmate app connected to my BP monitor defines as stage 1 and stage 2 hypertension. I get these higher readings during obvious times of anxiety, then get normal readings at other times, particularly when Propranolol is active.

 

Saturday, January 22nd

 

7:00am Awake, 7.5 hours. Left ear/jaw still sore and aching but no pain. Feels like it is going away.
9:30am 25mg Mag and 1kD3
10:00am 8mg Propranolol
10:15am Feeling chest pressure and heartburn, as well as some mounting head pressure
10:45am Ate tuna and crackers. Sx subsided. 630mg O3
12:00pm Out shopping, feeling mild to med anx and chest fluttering while walking around
1:00pm Resting in the car reading, wrestling anxiety and trying to float.
2:30pm returning home with Mexican food, head suddenly feeling full/pressure. Not much appetite but sampled a few things (not super healthy but delicious). Chest is currently fine, ears are low to no issues. Slight body tingling.
3:30pm 0.5mg Trintellix. Feeling slightly better, relaxing.
4:30pm Slight headache and "stuffy" head (clear sinuses) with small waves of pressure.
5:00pm BP 131/84 HR 80. Anxiety increasing steadily.
6:00pm 1000mg Tylenol for the headache
6:30pm 25mg Magnesium
7:00pm BP 144/83 HR 86. 8mg Propranolol. Anx still increasing.
7:30pm Acceptance videos
8:00pm Ate Mexican food,  630mg O3. Symptoms better, feeling a bit more relaxed.
9:00pm Anxiety came back again while watching more ACT videos. Not sure why it keeps coming and going so quickly...
10:30pm Bedtime

Edited January 23, 2022 by YachtRock
Typo

[Altostrata]

Blood pressure naturally varies up and down. Occasional increases do not mean you need blood pressure drugs. Please check all your assumptions.

[YachtRock]

In terms of "withdrawal" I continue to see improvement across the board. I need to remain focused on the root issues of managing anxiety and stress. Still chatting with possible therapists who can help with ACT therapy. Still have not confirmed a new psychiatrist either. But I continue to read, listen and learn everything I can in anticipation of a more structured focus on healing. I have managed to lower my nicotine intake by approximately 30% in two weeks.

 

Sunday, January 23rd

7:00am Awake, another 8ish hours (thanks Bob Ross)
9:00am Ate almond cereal with dried bananas. Took 630mg O3 and 1kD3.
10:00am Major anxiety and worry over health and finances, BP 142/82 HR 94. Breathing exercises.
10:15am 7.5mg Propranolol and 25mg Mag. 20 minute relaxation video.
11:00am Anx reduced but still annoyingly persistent. No other symptoms that aren't anx related (chest pain).
12:00pm Ate PB&J
1:00pm Went for a 90 minute boat ride, pretty foggy. Mild anxiety and medium chest thumps/palpitations from nerves.
3:00pm 0.5mg Trintellix and 25mg Mag Glycinate
3:30pm Leftover chicken, veggies and stuffed mushrooms
5:00pm Only issue is smelling and tasting the Trintellix (or that is what I think it is) along with the mushrooms which had gone bad. I'm certain it is some type of sensory side effect of anxiety, which is currently low to none. Listening to more Claire Weekes audio.
7:00pm 7.5mg Propranolol, 630mg O3 with some TJ snacks.
8:00pm Feeling head pressure/symptoms increase (Sunday night?) and mild to moderate anxiety.
9:30pm In bed, feeling a little more relaxed. Watched some light TV
11:30pm Asleep

Est. nicotine in take 1.29mg/hour

[YachtRock]

So far the addition of Vitamin D3, Omega 3 and Magnesium seem to be OK. I am increasing the Magnesium to 100mg/day but keeping the D3 at 1,000 for now. Also need to double the Omega 3 dose if I want to get up to 2500 combined EPA/DHA. 

 

Monday, January 24th

6:30am Awake. High anxiety morning.
9:00am 25mg Mag, 630mg O3 and 1000iuD3. Ate cereal.
10:30am 7mg Propranolol. Still managing physical effects of anxiety (chest pains and tension)
1:00pm Ate chicken and veggie quesadilla. Noticing light chest thumps and head issues.
3:00pm Nerves still at medium tension. 50mg Mag and 0.5mg Trintellix
4:00pm Went for a one mile walk in the neighborhood
6:00pm Reading/laptop, symptoms low to mild (head, chest, body)
6:30pm Cauliflower Rice Bowl, 630mg Omega 3
7:00pm 6mg Propranolol. Brief panic attack over a family issue in Florida.
8:00pm Watching "Unsinkable" video then reading/talking. 20 min meditation and journaling.
10:30pm Bedtime - Sharp rise in discomfort, trembling, uneasiness. Tossed and turned for about an hour.

[Altostrata]

Have you always had problems with panic attacks? Have you had therapy or coaching to manage this?

[YachtRock]

I have always had a problem with anxiety, at least since the late 90s. Full panic attacks were fewer and far between, thankfully, but the ability to slip into them is so much greater now in withdrawal. I have seen a few therapists over the years and learned a few techniques, but don't feel like they ever helped me deal with the root causes. We were always bouncing around a number of topics and I don't think I was in the right headspace to do the "hard work". I am seeking a provider now to help me work on ATC therapy as I feel this will be the most successful long term. I am also watching a lot of videos by Joe Dispenza around Think > Act > Feel and of course Claire Weekes. My next step is to try and compile all the things I have been reading and watching into a "playbook" of sorts, then build on this as I begin working with the right therapist. It has been a challenge to find the right person! 

[Altostrata]

Yes, you need to get full into learning ways to manage your anxiety. This may be intensified in withdrawal --  or anxiety over symptoms can make withdrawal a lot worse.

[YachtRock]

 

Thanks @Altostrata I am working on it. My uptick in anxiety this past week has not been as much about symptoms but lots of other "stuff" happening in life and in my world. But your point is well taken!

[YachtRock]

The last few days saw a marked increase in head and brain related symptoms. Pressure, discomfort, wave sensations, light nausea at times. Still no caffeine or lorazepam, and I ate generally healthyish. I have added D3 back into my morning routine, Magnesium and Omega 3 in small amounts, and just tested 6 hour 300mcg Melatonin last night. I had what I believe was an anxiety-related adverse response initially to the Melatonin, as we had watched two episodes of a stressful show that likely drove up my baseline anxiety and triggering bad thoughts about the dose. Sleep was about average around 6 hours the past few nights with very little "deep" sleep according to my watch (45 mins one night, zero the other). Nicotine intake is still lower at ~1.4mg/hour, but slightly higher than I had achieved late last week during what appeared to be a window.

 

Tuesday, January 25th

12:30am Awake w/moderate internal trembling, mind racing and confused, GI/bowel issues, unable to settle or sleep. It felt like a distinct change from the late evenings of the past week, and not a good one. But perhaps expected after such a stressful and anxiety filled day?
6:00am awake again. No idea how much actual sleep I got. Disturbing dreams and a restless night. Estimating 5.5 hours.
8:00am Medium anxiety continues again.
9:30am 1000iu D3, 630mg O3, 50mg Magnesium
10:30am 6mg Propranolol. Took a 45 minute nap.
11:30am Anx low to none. Intense head pressure and sensations. Not headache, not stuffy feeling as before. Light nausea. Trying to relax and stay still. Part of a new wave?
12:30pm Working/laptop
2:00pm Head issues still present and very disruptive. Flu-like in some ways. Ate keto chicken enchiladas.
2:30pm Soaked up some chilly sunshine then went for a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood
3:00pm 0.5mg Trintellix
3-6pm Reading/working. Head symptoms slightly improved
6:00pm Call with close friend. Ate hummus and chips, cheese and crackers (not the healthiest choice). 
7:00pm 6mg Propranolol, 630mg Omega 3 and 50mg Magnesium. Reading, watching, journaling, playbook making.
9pm In bed trying to wind down further.

11:30pm Asleep

 

Wednesday, January 26th

7:00am Awake, 6.5 hours sleep. On and off again. Lots of tension, some unpleasant dreams. Intense head sensations (repair and recovery?)
8:00am Attempted 50 minute Joe Dispenza meditation. Had some light nausea and disoriented feelings near the end and afterwards. Noticing dizzy like feelings again but no full on dizziness.
9:00am 2000iu D3, yogurt and granola
10:15am 5mg Propranolol. Showered. Noticing elevated HR and some shakiness/unease, head pressure, muscle fatigue. BP 137/79 HR 103 and lowering.
12:30pm chicken veggie rice bowl, 50mg Magnesium, 630mg Omega 3. Feeling a little better, HR normal.
2:00pm 1000mg Tylenol (headache)
3:00pm 0.5mg Trintellix
4:30pm Head still achey, ear ringing and soreness in waves. Light dizzy-like feelings again. BP 127/81 HR 71. Ate some trail mix.
6:30pm Ate leftover bowl and burrito from lunch. 630mg O3 and 50mg Magnesium
7:00pm 5mg Propranolol
8:00pm Watching Ozark
10:00pm 300mcg 6hr Melatonin
11:30pm After a 20 min relaxation and meditation, awoke with light nausea, moderate internal trembling, normal HR and same, steady head symptoms. Felt like a strange reaction to melatonin but probably just anxiety?

 

Head symptoms have existed ALL day, and since Monday evening. The intensity goes up and down throughout the day, resembles a partial headache but with different, more disturbing and distracting characteristics. Pain tends to flow down the left side of my head, including part of the ear and jaw causing lots of tension. Sinuses are almost always completely clear, with enhanced olfactory senses. Often accompanied by tingling and chills.

 

[Altostrata]

5 hours ago, YachtRock said:

11:30am Anx low to none. Intense head pressure and sensations. Not headache, not stuffy feeling as before. Light nausea.

 

Is this from propranolol?

[YachtRock]

48 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Is this from propranolol?

 

No I don't believe so. This head issue persisted for two days and finally stopped this morning, started late Monday night. Also I am now down to only 5mg doses. I think it is another wave of sorts, more brain renovation going on, standard withdrawal?

[Altostrata]

Or related to nicotine. I have to admit, I perceive you as being in a mild withdrawal state. You might be better off if you did not pay such minute attention to your symptoms. 

[YachtRock]

50 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

I have to admit, I perceive you as being in a mild withdrawal state. You might be better off if you did not pay such minute attention to your symptoms. 

 

You have said that a few times, which I appreciate, although it doesn't feel that way to me. I am trying to keep my journaling and comments objective and fully thought out, and avoid being dramatic. I certainly want to do everything I can to remain in a "mild withdrawal state" and only improve from here. I think I am going to take a few days off from journaling or tracking completely and see how I feel? Hopefully this last round of symptoms (or whatever it was) has passed. 

[Altostrata]

You might simply say "that's a bump" when you have a mild symptom. Surfing bumps is an important life skill.

[YachtRock]

A week ago Thursday I started to shift my outlook and try a new direction. I stopped journaling and symptom tracking as frequently and extensively. I tried to focus on gratitude and positivity, overall improvement, and just roll with the punches. This worked well for 4-5 days and I enjoyed a window as best as I can tell. I had gone 22 days since taking any Ativan, was generally getting between 6 and 7.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, still feeling lethargic at takes and lots of malaise, but it felt like I was on the right track. I had successfully added back Omega 3 and D3 into my routine, although Magnesium and Melatonin are back on hold temporarily.

 

Unfortunately this past Monday evening, a new wave started (much like the week prior) and I have been struggling quite a bit with moderate or greater symptoms, now lasting most of the day with few if any bits of relief:

• Head/brain pressure and waves
• Ringing ears and ear pain
• Nausea and fatigue
• Worsening insomnia (sleeping in short bursts, frequently waking throughout each night)
• Internal trembling/rumbling, primarily at night but also now showing up daytime after lack of sleep
• Chest pain
• Big increase in dizziness when moving from sitting/lying down to standing

I met with my new PCP Tuesday morning, and have referrals out to both ENT and Cardiology to follow-up on the various issues I am still experiencing. The new doc seems to embrace the issues as AD withdrawal, and I have secured a new psychiatrist/therapist for two weeks out. I stopped taking Propranolol yesterday but no changes (or relief) to symptoms. Last night was probably my worst night of sleep yet, and I ended up taking 0.5mg of Ativan Monday so I could eventually fall asleep before 2am.

 

I will try adding back Magnesium even though I didn't feel like I didn't see any benefit at 100mg/day. I had been hesitant to keep adding more. I tried the 6 hour extended 300mcg Melatonin one evening, but had an awful experience for the two hours after taking it, which certainly could have been anxiety. But it felt like an adverse reaction at the time.

 

I am still trying to capture a brief summary of each day (food, doses, etc) but just hoping all of this cools down soon and the fog lifts a bit.

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Did anything happen over the weekend that might have brought on this wave?

[YachtRock]

8 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Did anything happen over the weekend that might have brought on this wave?

 

No nothing at all. It was a low key, low stress weekend. I did a little work in the yard Saturday and lots of cooking. That was it.

 

EDIT: Now that I think back on Monday, it was a bit of a changeup for me. I was working at my desk most of the day, took on more projects (and stress) than I have in a few months as I was covering for someone. I guess if anything, that would be the root cause.

[getofflex]

6 minutes ago, YachtRock said:

I was working at my desk most of the day, took on more projects (and stress) than I have in a few months as I was covering for someone. I guess if anything, that would be the root cause.

Extra stress can most certainly bring on a wave of symptoms.  Hopefully you are back to your normal workload now, and don't still have this extra work.  

[YachtRock]

8 hours ago, getofflex said:

Extra stress can most certainly bring on a wave of symptoms.  Hopefully you are back to your normal workload now, and don't still have this extra work.  

 

Thanks @getofflex. It was only the one day thankfully, although that was my "normal" workload prior to being in WD. I am now back to about 50% which gives me lots of flexibility to manage my stress level, not that I am very good at that yet. Unfortunately the symptoms I have had this week are unrelenting, around the clock. I want to take an Ativan just to get better sleep but benzos apparently suppress "deep" sleep, which is what I need the most and not currently getting. Going to try more meditation and relaxation. Nice to see you back! Glad you are doing better.

[getofflex]

I'm glad it was only one day.    

9 hours ago, YachtRock said:

Unfortunately the symptoms I have had this week are unrelenting, around the clock. I want to take an Ativan just to get better sleep but benzos apparently suppress "deep" sleep, which is what I need the most and not currently getting. Going to try more meditation and relaxation.

I understand.  WD can and often is brutal.  It sounds like you are doing well with non drug coping techniques, and learning to deal without drugs - this is very good!  It will pay off richly in the end.  Learning to tough it out (up to a point) is a very good life skill to have.  Keep up the good work!  I'm praying for you. For insomnia, have you tried listening to very relaxing music at a low volume at night?  This helps me a lot to settle my nervous system.  Even if I can't sleep, I can rest and relax, rather than lying in bed feeling ramped up. 

[YachtRock]

2 hours ago, getofflex said:

For insomnia, have you tried listening to very relaxing music at a low volume at night?  This helps me a lot to settle my nervous system.  Even if I can't sleep, I can rest and relax, rather than lying in bed feeling ramped up. 

We have alternated between mostly ocean/wave sounds and meditation music overnight. My YouTube feed has changed dramatically the past few months, from all my old hobbies and interests to self help, therapy videos, meditations and sleep lol. I managed to get almost 7 hours last night and 28 minutes of deep sleep. Dreams were vivid and at times disturbing. I've been reading Unwinding Anxiety to try and define my habit loops relating to anxiety and worry. Baby steps. Thanks for the support and prayers!

[getofflex]

Sounds like you've been doing a lot of great work on your recovery!  I use a very healing and soothing harp playlist on Spotify.  It is called "Harp Music" by Karen Kaur, and is 16 hours long, so can be played all night without interruption.  I find this very helpful.  

[YachtRock]

This past weekend was fairly good. Still having occasional head/ear/jaw symptoms and discomfort. I am also getting some seasonal pet allergies which are frustrating, but conveniently I was recently prescribed Hydroxyzine which appears to help with allergies, anxiety and maybe even insomnia. Hopefully the antihistamine won't be triggering or activating for me. I have read it can help with sleep but also become paradoxical 😒

 

@Altostrata I finally made it to Urgent Care today to have my ears examined and they found no signs of infection. She did say I have TMJ as I have been clicking at times. I still think the ear pain and TMJ issues are both related to a WD symptom coming from the left side of my head/brain, although still concerning that it has lasted over 6 weeks. Both the medical assistant and PA highly recommended the Hydroxyzine for anxiety for what it's worth. I had not heard of it prior to last week. But I really struggled to fall asleep last night given how congested I was, and was too scared to take it. She also recommended Flonase which might reduce swelling in ears as well as sinuses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

3 hours ago, YachtRock said:

She also recommended Flonase which might reduce swelling in ears as well as sinuses.

 

  Flonase is a corticosteroid.  There is/are alternative/s.

 

On 2/2/2014 at 6:14 AM, Altostrata said:

I have allergies which have been bothering me a lot -- sneezing, itchy nose and throat, nasal congestion, coughing, etc.

 

Being hypersensitive, I can't take antihistamines. My ophthalmologist told me to minimize steroids (Pataday eye drops, Flonase nasal spray, etc.) because they increase risk of glaucoma. Plus, recently, I've become hypersensitive to steroid eye drops.  UPDATE: Since 2012, I've changed to ketotifen eye drops and azelastine nasal spray -- they are non-steroidal. Steroidal drops and sprays can advance cataracts or glaucoma.

 

So I finally tried nasal rinsing with a squeeze bottle and pre-mixed saline packets. To my amazement, it worked! Cleared up the congestion and itching right away. This lasted for several days.

 

It was easy, safe, and inexpensive. Just make sure to use distilled or boiled water that's cooled down to lukewarm in case of micro-organisms in tap water. (There have been a few reports of serious infections from nasal rinsing using plain tap water.)

 

[Altostrata]

3 hours ago, YachtRock said:

I still think the ear pain and TMJ issues are both related to a WD symptom coming from the left side of my head/brain

 

Good to hear you're working on managing your symptoms. You may be clenching your teeth, that is common in withdrawal. Recommend a night guard from your dentist or a cheap one from the Web.

[YachtRock]

10 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Flonase is a corticosteroid.  There is/are alternative/s.

 

Thanks Chessie. I had seen those suggestions. I've done the NeilMed rinse the past two nights which helped. My chest congestion (allergies) were so bad that I tried a non steroidal inhaler (Ventolin HFA) which really helped a lot. I was breathing easier within minutes I still haven't tried hydroxyzine/antihistamine yet. Will try to find a non steroidal nose spray as well. Can't find Azelastine online.

[YachtRock]

It has been a little over a month since my last update. Thought I would share the next phase of my journey. The past month showed additional improvements across the board. There were times that I thought I was completely past all physiological issues and only left with the anxiety, depression, constant worry (all of which can be overwhelming at times, particularly with regards to geopolitical/economical issues). The ear pain, ringing, buzzing in my head, nasal/sinus weirdness has persisted, even some asthmatic type symptoms emerged and even worsened.

 

Turns out we DO have a rather big mold issue in our house. We found a tiny black speck above a closet door, then found black mold in our attic, and now may need to replace half of our roof due to water issues getting into the attic. This of course opens a whole world of toxic mold exposure symptoms which all seemed to start in December. Even my wife has been suffering with sinus problems and digestive issues that could be mold related, and now both of us are struggling with sleep issues. I have read through a few other posts by members with mold issues and Icebat's intro thread was very insightful. Looking back, it would be difficult to tell what was truly AD withdrawal vs mold exposure, or a strange combination of the two. 

 

While we wait for mold remediation and roofers to give us estimates, I plan on adding back Turmeric and Mag Glycinate to my O3/D3 regimen. Also I still have not yet lowered my reinstatement dosage of 0.5mg Trintellix. I am still sleeping 6 hours per night, and hoping DST change this weekend may allow me to sleep until 7am!

 

Lastly I have been working with a new combo psychiatrist/therapist that I like the past 3 weeks. He is strongly encouraging exercise to combat depressive symptoms. And not just walking or cycling but real strength training, core stuff. At this point I am starting to think every hour outside of the house might be beneficial. Too bad it will rain non-stop for the next two weeks (more leak, more mold, less outside time).

 

Hard to know what the next few months may bring, but I am encouraged that I am tackling the right issues. And we may finally have an answer to my ENT issues which is encouraging.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

That mold may be causing a lot of your symptoms. Please do fix it, take care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing. Might be best not to make changes in Trintellix until the mold is resolved. 

[getofflex]

On 3/9/2022 at 11:04 PM, YachtRock said:

It has been a little over a month since my last update. Thought I would share the next phase of my journey. The past month showed additional improvements across the board.

Fantastic!  It sounds as though overall you are doing well in terms of your psych med withdrawal.  

 

On 3/9/2022 at 11:04 PM, YachtRock said:

constant worry (all of which can be overwhelming at times, particularly with regards to geopolitical/economical issues).

I can relate to this!  I find I have to limit watching the news, as it can be quite anxiety provoking.  

 

I agree with Altostrata about getting the mold issue resolved.  

 

On 3/9/2022 at 11:04 PM, YachtRock said:

Lastly I have been working with a new combo psychiatrist/therapist that I like the past 3 weeks. He is strongly encouraging exercise to combat depressive symptoms. And not just walking or cycling but real strength training, core stuff.

This sounds good.  However, realize that intense exercise can over activate a nervous system in withdrawal, and cause symptoms such as agitation, anxiety, insomnia, restlessness, etc.  That's because it causes your body to produce adrenaline.  Most therapists and psychiatrists are not knowledgeable about withdrawal from psych meds.  

 

It sounds like you are on the right track!  Keep up the good work!  

[YachtRock]

Thank you both for your responses. Two mold remediators have told us that the problem is not as bad as we thought it was (great news). But on the flipside, the quotes to "fix" the roof are WAY more expensive than I was estimating 😵.

[methuselah]

@YachtRock hey man, thanks for chiming in on my thread.  It sounds like you are doing better, not great obv, but better than you were.  December and January were hellish months that’s for sure. 

 

I have to admit I’m jealous as you are on a pretty low dose per your reinstatement.  It won’t be too long after stabilization that you can taper off and be done with all this. Looks like u dropped the benzo too, nice work!  U do NOT want that monkey on your back too.

 

take care of the mold and hopefully that fixes your physical issues. Take care man, good luck.  

[YachtRock]

Hi everyone. The past 5 weeks have seen continued improvement in a few areas, but also a continuation of the same bland, boring, demotivating depression. I have yet to engage in any meaningful exercise regiment, which my current psychiatrist/therapist thinks would be the biggest key to improvement in this area (resistance/weight training specifically). I blame the crappy weather but in reality, it is just an excuse.

 

We still have no path forward on resolving our mold or leaky roof issues. We are still struggling to determine exactly how bad it is and which item to address first, and the overall enormous cost of it all. The various contractors have been horrible about following up. The gotmold.com tests showed no black mold actually, but a huge amount of aspergillus in our attic and some in our basement. Strangely none at all in our bedroom. We may opt to run three more tests. We have had rain for weeks now and don't actually think we are having more rain come into the attic.

 

I did decide to stop vaping 3 weeks ago, and have been on nicotine patches around the clock. I think my estimates of daily nicotine consumption (via Vape) were accurate as I really seemed to feel the "drop" to 21mg/day (the largest size patch you can get). I just dropped to the second step 14mg patch yesterday and so far so good. I read about warnings of putting yourself into further withdrawal while still in AD withdrawal, but as my symptoms appear to be very mild these days, I wanted to test the waters. I am chewing on pens and sharpies to get through the cravings (fierce at times).

 

I no longer think in terms of waves and windows, nor am I journaling or tracking anything at all. I am not battling the severe anxiety and panic I had November to February, and that continues to be a huge win. I have not taken Ativan in 69 days. I was able to happily attend a crowded Easter gathering on Sunday with both friends and strangers, tons of food, beer and wine. I really had no issues the entire weekend and spent most of it outside of the house. We planned a summer trip in July that I am actually looking forward to!

 

So all in all, I believe I am mostly past the acute withdrawal phase and only battling a few remaining physiological symptoms which may or may not even be related. The rest of my "issues" are likely coming from other sources but I can't pinpoint them exactly. Regular garden variety depression, mold exposure, low testosterone, upper cervical alignment (my wife started NUCCA treatments and I might try it as well), diet and lack of proper exercise? It could be a little of everything!

 

A little early to label this as a success story, but I am thankful for the improvements I continue to see and certainly for all the wisdom I have gleaned through this community. I still need to taper off the 0.5mg RI dose of Trintellix, but will deal with that once I can get the nicotine out of my bloodstream. I am still telling myself that the RI dose (1/40th of this time last year) is having no actual effect and that tapering off of it will present no further issues. 🤞