ThatOneGirlStitch: trying to escape anhedonia

January 13, 2022

Hey Stitch,

I just wanted to update you. The update is rather a question.

The pssd theory dude told me that taking a stool test is the best because there you can look for every bacterial overgrowth. Only taking a sibo test isn't enough as it only covers methan and hydrogen producing bacteria.

So my question:

Are you making a stool test or a sibo test?

I wish you all the best,

Greetings

Kosta

January 13, 2022

The guy from Reddit:

"From what I've read it typically only takes a few months with a maximum of 14 months for 5HT receptors to return to normal counts. Back before I ever did any research I believed in desensitization theory also, it just seems like the most reasonable explanation. However there are countless holes in the theory such as the fact that some go 5+ years with no improvements (receptors should've upregulated by then), or that longterm 5HT antagonist use never cures anyone. Interestingly antibiotics are known for commonly causing akathisia and brain zaps, which suggests dysbiosis may be the root cause of those symptoms ad well. Studies also show dysbiosis is associated with anhedonia (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-021-01032-1#:~:text=Reduced%20gut%2Dmicrobial%20diversity%20(%E2%80%9C,clinical%20feature%20of%20chronic%20fatigue.) And if you google "depersonalization dysbiosis" you will see many people have cured their depersonalization by correcting the gut. Like I said in my post 95% of serotonin and 50% of dopamine are produced in the gut, so dysbiosis can result in pretty severe neurotransmitter imbalances which is why I believe this occurs. For your final question, I don't think anyone should take SIBO therapy at all until they've confirmed overgrowth of methane/hydrogen producers OR pathogenic LPS producing bacteria AND they've ruled out Candida overgrowth. This is why I use the term dysbiosis and not SIBO. Trying to treat yourself with a SIBO protocol when you have a different form of dysbiosis such as Candida could just make your symptoms worse. The assumption that everyone with PSSD has SIBO is totally wrong and it's a dangerous mindset to have. I do think it's safe to say everyone with PSSD has dysbiosis. I've already seen several cases of Candida overgrowth and overgrowth of pathogenic LPS producers. This is one of the reasons I now encourage people to get a stool microbiome test done first rather than a SIBO test. A SIBO test ONLY accounts for overgrowth of methane and hydrogen producers."

Edited January 13, 2022 by kostakonkordia

January 13, 2022

I don't feel like I have much strength. I can feel the skin over my bones. I feel my bones when I lie down. I feel them when people touch me. I drink two smoothies a day. It takes the majority of my effort. Eating, swallowing, digesting, pooping, it hurts. I lie there waiting for it to pass through, so I can eat again. It just keeps me from losing anymore weight. I wonder if I will starve before the other effects of WD get me. I don't look at myself, but there is no ignoring it now. Even though the scale says Im the same it hurts to feel my bones lying in bed. 5'5" 120 lbs

I need something to keep me going. I guess I'm looking for hope. I don't know.

January 13, 2022

5 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I don't feel like I have much strength. I can feel the skin over my bones. I feel my bones when I lie down. I feel them when people touch me. I drink two smoothies a day. It takes the majority of my effort. Eating, swallowing, digesting, pooping, it hurts. I lie there waiting for it to pass through, so I can eat again. It just keeps me from losing anymore weight. I wonder if I will starve before the other effects of WD get me. I don't look at myself, but there is no ignoring it now. Even though the scale says Im the same it hurts to feel my bones lying in bed. 5'5" 120 lbs

I need something to keep me going. I guess I'm looking for hope. I don't know.

Please stay strong…. I am 5”4” 102 lbs from 118 lbs despite eating quite a lot, this Akathisia doesn’t allow me to gain weight I guess. Today I was able to watch a bit TV for half an hour…. I was still and calm for half an hr…. What a gift …. It’s over now but it shows that healing can happen even in the worst cases …. I am praying for you …. Keep eating small meals till ur stomach slowly heals.

January 13, 2022

36 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Please stay strong…. I am 5”4” 102 lbs from 118 lbs despite eating quite a lot, this Akathisia doesn’t allow me to gain weight I guess. Today I was able to watch a bit TV for half an hour…. I was still and calm for half an hr…. What a gift …. It’s over now but it shows that healing can happen even in the worst cases …. I am praying for you …. Keep eating small meals till ur stomach slowly heals.

Your words give me strength. Knowing that someone understands is invaluable to my soul. I am sorry you are also suffering with weight loss. I wish I could think clearly to type more. Calm for a half hour shows good things can happen. I pray many more of those are coming your way. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.

January 13, 2022

15 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Your words give me strength. Knowing that someone understands is invaluable to my soul. I am sorry you are also suffering with weight loss. I wish I could think clearly to type more. Calm for a half hour shows good things can happen. I pray many more of those are coming your way. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.

How are u feeling today? I find hard to accept what these drugs have done to absolutely physically and mentally healthy people …. Keep praying our brains bounce back soon …

January 14, 2022

How are you doing Stitch?

January 14, 2022

3 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

How are u feeling today? I find hard to accept what these drugs have done to absolutely physically and mentally healthy people …. Keep praying our brains bounce back soon …

Thank you for checking on me. Last night was difficult. I'm still kind of in it. Your post got me through the night and this morning. I was grateful to see it. Right now I'm not gripping my sheets in desperation. Thank you. My brain is working slower than usual. Only simple thoughts. I can't believe doctors gave out these pills for stupid things. Such stupid things.

Hopefully this passes soon. Prayers for you as well.

January 14, 2022

40 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Thank you for checking on me. Last night was difficult. I'm still kind of in it. Your post got me through the night and this morning. I was grateful to see it. Right now I'm not gripping my sheets in desperation. Thank you. My brain is working slower than usual. Only simple thoughts. I can't believe doctors gave out these pills for stupid things. Such stupid things.

Hopefully this passes soon. Prayers for you as well.

I know the mental torture very well…. I try to think of people who have recovered and pray and hope will join them one day …. If I could only change one thing in my life it would be taking this poison… my current doctor says she has never seen anyone being so severely damaged by these drugs…. Right …. BS …

January 15, 2022

@ThatOneGirlStitchI'm sorry that you are in it. It's so painful in ways that are hard to describe. Praying for relief and recovery for you.

January 18, 2022

Looking at screens seems to be triggering aka. So I won't be posting for a while. If anybody has any information on this, I would be absolutely happy to hear about it, as my laptop is my only connection to the outside world and the forum's my distraction. Did anyone have this? Did it go away? I wish the best to you all. Hope to talk to you soon.

January 18, 2022

You might find wearing blue light/gaming glasses might help. Quite often you can change the setting on the computer too.

light-sensitive-try-blocking-out-blue-light

January 19, 2022

On 1/18/2022 at 12:20 AM, ChessieCat said:

You might find wearing blue light/gaming glasses might help. Quite often you can change the setting on the computer too.

light-sensitive-try-blocking-out-blue-light

Thank you ChessieCat. I think I found what you mean. It’s the night mode, right? It seems I’m still only able to look at my computer in spurts right now, but maybe a combination of night mode and glasses may help. When my partner has time, maybe she can research what is happening. As soon as I get those glasses ordered and they come in, I’ll let you know. Thank you for checking in on me.

January 21, 2022

Hey there, @ThatOneGirlStitch, I'm so sorry for the ordeal you're going through, I can relate!! I read your postings on the 'anhedonia...' thread - you are always so positive and trying to give everyone hope, thanks for that!! 💜

January 21, 2022

14 hours ago, Manati said:

Hey there, @ThatOneGirlStitch, I'm so sorry for the ordeal you're going through, I can relate!! I read your postings on the 'anhedonia...' thread - you are always so positive and trying to give everyone hope, thanks for that!! 💜

Hey manati

Thanks for stopping by on my intro.

Yes it’s awful what we are going through. But I am glad I am not going through it alone. It feels like we are walking this road together.

Anhedonia is so difficult, isn’t it? It’s rather inconvenient that it is one of the sticky symptoms. I haven’t been able to post much due to not being able to look at a screen. But I was kindled as well. It is disheartening but not impossible. I’m glad you are on this forum with us.

January 23, 2022

Thanks for your kind words, and for the hope you spread. Have you heard/read of anyone recovering after being severely kindled? I'm so discouraged, and so sorry that you have to go through this, too!! I'm sending you my healing wishes!! 💜

On 1/21/2022 at 9:28 PM, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Hey manati

Thanks for stopping by on my intro.

Yes it’s awful what we are going through. But I am glad I am not going through it alone. It feels like we are walking this road together.

Anhedonia is so difficult, isn’t it? It’s rather inconvenient that it is one of the sticky symptoms. I haven’t been able to post much due to not being able to look at a screen. But I was kindled as well. It is disheartening but not impossible. I’m glad you are on this forum with us.

January 23, 2022

4 hours ago, Manati said:

Thanks for your kind words, and for the hope you spread. Have you heard/read of anyone recovering after being severely kindled? I'm so discouraged, and so sorry that you have to go through this, too!! I'm sending you my healing wishes!! 💜

I wish I could give you a more direct answer, but I think it is better to tell you what I've seen.

Heard of people recovering from being severely kindled? Yes. I've seen it talked about in passing. Read about them myself, well that's harder to answer. People define severely kindled differently making it hard to determine how well they recovered. The fact that all they mostly say is "I have been severely kindled" gives me no insight into their symptoms.

For example you can go from having depression, anxiety, and palpitations to also not being able to eat and become housebound.

Or you could go from housebound and panic attacks to bedbound, not being able to fed yourself and not knowing your name or where you are.

Both could be severe kindling because of the big jump that was made. People could define it as severe because there was a big jump in their symptoms or they could call it severe because they can not function.

Bottom line is, yes. I have both heard of people discussing other people being recovered as well as people saying they recovered from severe kindling. But trying to follow their symptoms is difficult.

I hope this insight gives you hope, even though we can not see the details of these people's recovery.

January 23, 2022

Thank you very much for your answer, @ThatOneGirlStitch! Yes, 'severely kindled' is of course a subjective description in every case, under which every affected person understands something different. I also meant specifically related to the symtpom of anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, i.e. when triggered by kindling or an aversive reaction. I have generally made the observation that actually all discontinuation symptoms including kindling symptoms subside with time, with the exception of PSSD and anhedonia/emotional anesthesia (and sometimes tinnitus, but you can learn to live with that). So have you also heard/read of cases where someone's anhedonia went away again when triggered by an aversive reaction or kindling?

12 hours ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I wish I could give you a more direct answer, but I think it is better to tell you what I've seen.

Heard of people recovering from being severely kindled? Yes. I've seen it talked about in passing. Read about them myself, well that's harder to answer. People define severely kindled differently making it hard to determine how well they recovered. The fact that all they mostly say is "I have been severely kindled" gives me no insight into their symptoms.

For example you can go from having depression, anxiety, and palpitations to also not being able to eat and become housebound.

Or you could go from housebound and panic attacks to bedbound, not being able to fed yourself and not knowing your name or where you are.

Both could be severe kindling because of the big jump that was made. People could define it as severe because there was a big jump in their symptoms or they could call it severe because they can not function.

Bottom line is, yes. I have both heard of people discussing other people being recovered as well as people saying they recovered from severe kindling. But trying to follow their symptoms is difficult.

I hope this insight gives you hope, even though we can not see the details of these people's recovery.

January 23, 2022

14 minutes ago, Manati said:

Thank you very much for your answer, @ThatOneGirlStitch! Yes, 'severely kindled' is of course a subjective description in every case, under which every affected person understands something different. I also meant specifically related to the symtpom of anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, i.e. when triggered by kindling or an aversive reaction. I have generally made the observation that actually all discontinuation symptoms including kindling symptoms subside with time, with the exception of PSSD and anhedonia/emotional anesthesia (and sometimes tinnitus, but you can learn to live with that). So have you also heard/read of cases where someone's anhedonia went away again when triggered by an aversive reaction or kindling?

I never looked for something that specific in regards to anhedonia. The more specific you get the harder it is to find because most people are not specific in their post.

I do remember one person that while in withdrawal was kindled by alcohol and developed anhedonia from that. He went on to heal.

I have read plenty of people who said the were kindled and had anhedonia but never said if they had the anhedonia from kindling. They complained about being kindled and having anhedonia and a few other symptoms in their post.

For example it might sound something like this:

I'm worried. I've been badly kindled and don't know what to do. The symptoms I have are crazy. How long is this going to last? I'm dealing with anhedonia, eye problems, and anxiety and it is very hard.

They are mentioned in the same post but that doesn't tell me what they got from kindling. One man said he was kindled may times and had anhedonia. He went on to heal. But I still don't know how bad he was kindled and if he got anhedonia from it.

January 24, 2022

Thank you for your reply, yes I know what you mean - it's just very hard to find even one other person with comparable starting conditions. And everyone has a different healing process. I'll let you know if I find someone whose anhedonia went away after adverse reaction or Kindling. Hugs to Missouri 💜

1 hour ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I never looked for something that specific in regards to anhedonia. The more specific you get the harder it is to find because most people are not specific in their post.

I do remember one person that while in withdrawal was kindled by alcohol and developed anhedonia from that. He went on to heal.

I have read plenty of people who said the were kindled and had anhedonia but never said if they had the anhedonia from kindling. They complained about being kindled and having anhedonia and a few other symptoms in their post.

For example it might sound something like this:

I'm worried. I've been badly kindled and don't know what to do. The symptoms I have are crazy. How long is this going to last? I'm dealing with anhedonia, eye problems, and anxiety and it is very hard.

They are mentioned in the same post but that doesn't tell me what they got from kindling. One man said he was kindled may times and had anhedonia. He went on to heal. But I still don't know how bad he was kindled and if he got anhedonia from it.

January 24, 2022

6 hours ago, Manati said:

Thank you for your reply, yes I know what you mean - it's just very hard to find even one other person with comparable starting conditions. And everyone has a different healing process. I'll let you know if I find someone whose anhedonia went away after adverse reaction or Kindling. Hugs to Missouri 💜

I would appreciate that. If I find someone I will do the same. Hugs to you back.💚

January 24, 2022

Feeling tired. The anhedonia is really wearing me down. I wish there was a guarantee I could heal from it, or learn to have a somewhat fulfilling life with it. Everyday is the same. I have no effort to move. I could use some kind words.

January 24, 2022

I am praying for you. I know how hard it is …. Almost impossible to bear but Remember (and I need to remember it as well) many have healed and gotten out of this.

January 25, 2022

58 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

I am praying for you. I know how hard it is …. Almost impossible to bear but Remember (and I need to remember it as well) many have healed and gotten out of this.

Thank you. I feel like giving up tonight. I'll make it to tomorrow but as you say it is hard.

On a less positive note.

I feel awful doing this to my family. I search and search but I find no answers. I swear I looked at every corner of the internet. If I could just get rid of this one symptom. If it could go away for a bit. If I knew it wasn't going to last forever. That's all I need in life right now. I know you understand and I shouldn't be saying this to you because I know you are struggling too. I have to believe. For my family, I have to believe.

Thank you for being there. Honestly.

January 25, 2022

11 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Thank you. I feel like giving up tonight. I'll make it to tomorrow but as you say it is hard.

On a less positive note.

I feel awful doing this to my family. I search and search but I find no answers. I swear I looked at every corner of the internet. If I could just get rid of this one symptom. If it could go away for a bit. If I knew it wasn't going to last forever. That's all I need in life right now. I know you understand and I shouldn't be saying this to you because I know you are struggling too. I have to believe. For my family, I have to believe.

Thank you for being there. Honestly.

Feel free to express ur suffering….. i feel the same and can’t get over the fact a prescribed drug did this to me. I am hopeless myself but then read stories like traumatized80, her immense suffering followed by her miraculous recovery. I was told once the first signs of recovery started, she was basically back to normal within weeks ….

January 25, 2022

7 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Feel free to express ur suffering….. i feel the same and can’t get over the fact a prescribed drug did this to me. I am hopeless myself but then read stories like traumatized80, her immense suffering followed by her miraculous recovery. I was told once the first signs of recovery started, she was basically back to normal within weeks ….

Thank you, JesusSave.

As long as there is hope. Hope is the greatest thing we have.

January 25, 2022

14 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Thank you, JesusSave.

As long as there is hope. Hope is the greatest thing we have.

I believe there is hope…. It’s not like a part of our brain was cut out … our whole brain is still there and just needs to recalibrate … I just don’t know why it’s taking so long …. Too long….

January 25, 2022

34 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

I believe there is hope…. It’s not like a part of our brain was cut out … our whole brain is still there and just needs to recalibrate … I just don’t know why it’s taking so long …. Too long….

I wish we could see some positive changes or have one of those windows. But I guess maybe we are the people that recover very slowly with no ups and downs.

January 25, 2022

8 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I wish we could see some positive changes or have one of those windows. But I guess maybe we are the people that recover very slowly with no ups and downs.

Like you I don’t have windows of feeling kind of normal and that’s what makes this suffering hopeless and unbearable. But I think in our case if we start seeing improvements recovery will be faster than people who are in the window waves pattern

January 25, 2022

8 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Like you I don’t have windows of feeling kind of normal and that’s what makes this suffering hopeless and unbearable. But I think in our case if we start seeing improvements recovery will be faster than people who are in the window waves pattern

I look forward to that day.

January 25, 2022

2 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

I look forward to that day.

Oh yea…. It’s going to be like a rebirth …..

January 25, 2022

6 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Oh yea…. It’s going to be like a rebirth …..

No ist going to be like an enlightment. Maybe thats not really comparable but when I first came of my meds, I had a few months where I felt like a bit myself again. At that time I was alone in my small apartment in the outher district of Vienna not seeing anybody for weeks because of the pandemic. I was listening to Senecas on the shortness of life and I was so alone yet so full. And there where moments where I really felt enlightened, I felt light in myself, complete inner peace about everything. Like the sun shined threw my soul. I cant really describe it, those were just a few moments but still. Of course I crashed violently 2 months after that.

This is not comparable to you're situation but I just wanted to let you know what may await you at the end of this torture. I wish you the best

January 25, 2022

47 minutes ago, kostakonkordia said:

No ist going to be like an enlightment. Maybe thats not really comparable but when I first came of my meds, I had a few months where I felt like a bit myself again. At that time I was alone in my small apartment in the outher district of Vienna not seeing anybody for weeks because of the pandemic. I was listening to Senecas on the shortness of life and I was so alone yet so full. And there where moments where I really felt enlightened, I felt light in myself, complete inner peace about everything. Like the sun shined threw my soul. I cant really describe it, those were just a few moments but still. Of course I crashed violently 2 months after that.

This is not comparable to you're situation but I just wanted to let you know what may await you at the end of this torture. I wish you the best

🙏

January 25, 2022

@kostakonkordia @JesusSavemefromWD

Thank you both for coming in my time of need.

January 26, 2022

Attention everyone!!

Last night at 3:00 in the morning, I ate solid food.

Thank you, that is all!

January 26, 2022

5 minutes ago, ThatOneGirlStitch said:

Attention everyone!!

Last night at 3:00 in the morning, I ate solid food.

Thank you, that is all!

!!!! 🙏

ThatOneGirlStitch: trying to escape anhedonia

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