Lilmizz21: Introduction - Advice needed

[Lilmizz21]

@Greatful aw that sounds horrible!! Do you actually physically feel brain damaged as well honey can I ask? Like I physically feel it 🥺

 

I am staying with family at the moment but I could be losing my own home in another country where my little boy lives been fired from my job.

 

Hope your finding it ok on the liquid?

 

So may not be able to watch my little boy grow up. I will never forgive myself, one pill done this 😔

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21

Please be careful on  how you talk to yourself......You will heal from this and have many years with your son😊.......

I have something that will keep you busy......Get your mind off of WD and how to work on you.

We can all use help in dealing with our emotions and how we see things

This is put on by a therapist skills.  Check it out and see if anything would work for you. 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=therapy+in+a+nutshell

With WD all of our thoughts and emotions are morphed and put to the test.

I'm doing the whole series 1-30 sessions on "How to Process Your Emotions" 

 

I am glad that you have family to stay with.

 

My liquid turnover has been a bit rough but I am feeling a little bit better today..

 

 

[Lilmizz21]

@Farout @manymoretodays @Greatful

 

so sorry to tag a few of yous. I am just really at my worst point 😪

 

I'm 5 months in, never a window in sight or even a moment of peace. I just want to talk a little bit about what I'm going through if that's ok. 

 

From the minute I wake up I am tortured mind and body. It is constant every minute and it will go something like this. 

 

"Your brain has creepy crawlies in it"

"Your brain is gripping"

"Your brain is toxic"

"Your insides are burning"

"You wanna scratch your whole body"

"Your stinging all over your body"

"Your always going to think about what's happening inside your brain"

 

This continues on every minute changing but my brain makes me feel the sensations it is telling me. This is living torture 😪

 

Am I just losing it guys?  A lost cause? 

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21

do you have the sensations, I mean physically feel them?

Are you scratching?

I do think it is easy to get sucked into the ruminating thoughts and fears.........

Are you able to read, listen to music, puzzles art, go for walks, play on tablet/computer?  What coping skills have you found that work for you?

Believe me I know how tiring this is but what can we do to get by.......

How is the pain and prickling feeling in the body going?

I'm glad to see you can sleep.  Do you get a full nights sleep?

 

Hang in there L❤️  

[Lilmizz21]

@Greatful yeah lovely I physically feel what my brain says. It's just horrific its 24.7 i cant even concentrate to get out bed just tortured all the time

 

how is your brain sensations mdear? Mine are just in a cycle all day everyday....we shouldnt even be able to feel our brains. 😪

 

I cant do anything mdear cant process information on tv, can read small things but nothing too big. 

 

I just feel there is no way of normality 😪

[Lilmizz21]

Feel not strong enough for this

 

Everyday is ground hound day

[Lilmizz21]

Current list of symptoms

 

- anxiety
-Impending doom
-Panic attacks
-Burning inside organs
-Burning skin
-Cold feet
-Electrical feeling through body and brain
-Brain sensations, brains swelling, gripping, things crawling around it
-Stinging sensation all over body
-Tinnitus
-Nightmares
-Hypnogenic halliculations
-Sensitive to noises
-Sensitive to light
-Cant process information like t.v
-Loss of cognitive abilities
-Cant remember things (memory loss)
-No capacity to be able to think about personal problems as I am being tortured in my mind and body
-Severe inner restlessness
-Agrophobia
-Feeling a need to pace
-Muscle contractions
-inner tremors and shaking
-Numbness and tingling
-Feelings of bugs on skin
-Itchy skin
-Feel itchy insides my organs
-Blurred vision, everything is distorted
-Paranoia
-Intrusive thoughts
-Feeling in my chest of complete terror that I’m going to die or someone has died
-Gory images that pop in my head *
-Ocd and looping thoughts and songs
-Overwhelming feeling of having to die but petrified (suicidal urges), feel forced to do it
-Feeling drunk or intoxicated like I've had 7 litres of bleach
-Brain makes me concentrate on different parts of my body and creates agitation inside, have to try distract
-Derealization (hands dont feel like my own, everything is off)
-Cant communicate with people for long periods of time, over stimulation
-Feel like parts of my brain are numb and not working
-Feel like my brain makes my hands slow down, feels like arthritis
-Have two trains of thoughts running at the same time
-Racing thoughts to the point I feel I'm gonna pass out
-Have thoughts about my funeral, my death and past memories
-Pressure in my private parts
-Jerks and spasms especially at night in my legs
- joint pain
-Knowing theres only so long I can cope and that I might not make it scares me to talk to the people I'll leave behind
-Triggers when I see children or normal people, reminds me of who I used to be
-Crying contiously
-Emotionally numb at times
-Akathasia
-Cant enjoy the things I used to.
 

 

Does anyone know why I'm getting worse? 😣 coming up to 6 months off

 

 

Edited February 17, 2022 by ChessieCat
Resized font

[Mj58]

On 2/5/2022 at 12:47 PM, Lilmizz21 said:

@Greatful aw that sounds horrible!! Do you actually physically feel brain damaged as well honey can I ask? Like I physically feel it 🥺

 

I am staying with family at the moment but I could be losing my own home in another country where my little boy lives been fired from my job.

 

Hope your finding it ok on the liquid?

 

So may not be able to watch my little boy grow up. I will never forgive myself, one pill done this 😔

Hi ,

My heart is with you  . I  am going through the same symptoms . Forgiveness and compassion s something I had to learn , be patient with yourself.

I was wondering how you are handling Akathasia ?  

I'm here for you if you need to talk? and we are stronger together ❤️🙏🏻

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, Lilmizz21 said:

Current list of symptoms

 

- anxiety
-Impending doom
-Panic attacks
-Burning inside organs
-Burning skin
-Cold feet
-Electrical feeling through body and brain
-Brain sensations, brains swelling, gripping, things crawling around it
-Stinging sensation all over body
-Tinnitus
-Nightmares
-Hypnogenic halliculations
-Sensitive to noises
-Sensitive to light
-Cant process information like t.v
-Loss of cognitive abilities
-Cant remember things (memory loss)
-No capacity to be able to think about personal problems as I am being tortured in my mind and body
-Severe inner restlessness
-Agrophobia
-Feeling a need to pace
-Muscle contractions
-inner tremors and shaking
-Numbness and tingling
-Feelings of bugs on skin
-Itchy skin
-Feel itchy insides my organs
-Blurred vision, everything is distorted
-Paranoia
-Intrusive thoughts
-Feeling in my chest of complete terror that I’m going to die or someone has died
-Gory images that pop in my head *
-Ocd and looping thoughts and songs
-Overwhelming feeling of having to die but petrified (suicidal urges), feel forced to do it
-Feeling drunk or intoxicated like I've had 7 litres of bleach
-Brain makes me concentrate on different parts of my body and creates agitation inside, have to try distract
-Derealization (hands dont feel like my own, everything is off)
-Cant communicate with people for long periods of time, over stimulation
-Feel like parts of my brain are numb and not working
-Feel like my brain makes my hands slow down, feels like arthritis
-Have two trains of thoughts running at the same time
-Racing thoughts to the point I feel I'm gonna pass out
-Have thoughts about my funeral, my death and past memories
-Pressure in my private parts
-Jerks and spasms especially at night in my legs
- joint pain
-Knowing theres only so long I can cope and that I might not make it scares me to talk to the people I'll leave behind
-Triggers when I see children or normal people, reminds me of who I used to be
-Crying contiously
-Emotionally numb at times
-Akathasia
-Cant enjoy the things I used to.
 

 

Does anyone know why I'm getting worse? 😣 coming up to 6 months off

 

I am sorry for what you are still going through. I don’t have an answer for you but I was also getting worst towards months 6,7,8 and some minor improvements started at month 9, 10…… hang in there ….. I know it’s hard I am suffering with symptoms similar to yours but I pray for neuroplasticity to do its job….

[Lilmizz21]

@JesusSavemefromWD thank you so much for reaching out to me. 

 

I am in a desperate way, my brain is so mashed I dont even know if these things are happening but they are. Does that make sense to you?

 

I feel like a complete attack on brain and body and dont even know what's going on anymore.  Was you like that? Was you bad as me at 6 months? 🥺 so sorry in such a panic.

 

Sending you hugs lovely

[JesusSavemefromWD]

3 minutes ago, Lilmizz21 said:

@JesusSavemefromWD thank you so much for reaching out to me. 

 

I am in a desperate way, my brain is so mashed I dont even know if these things are happening but they are. Does that make sense to you?

 

I feel like a complete attack on brain and body and dont even know what's going on anymore.  Was you like that? Was you bad as me at 6 months? 🥺 so sorry in such a panic.

 

Sending you hugs lovely

Yes I was as bad as you if not worst…. I didn’t recognize my own kids, couldn’t even talk it was hurting my brain. I had all the symptoms you describe but mostly severe depersonalization. I am still very sick but at least I don’t keep getting worst like I was till  month 9 or so 

[eileen1111]

@Lilmizz21 you've been so strong to get through 6 months of this nightmare

I relate so much to feeling triggered or jealous of 'normal' people just going about the world....ignorance is bliss. but we will be one of those people again. stronger for it because of what we've survived. 

[labrat15]

Just imagine how good it is going to feel when you eventually start feeling better. Everything I’ve have read suggests that people eventually get better, it just depends on how long. During the worst times of my withdrawal I thought there was no way I could recover but I held in there and I’m so glad I did. Hang in there it’s worth it!

[Lilmizz21]

I would like to thank yous @labrat15 @eileen1111 @JesusSavemefromWD for reaching out to me, honestly this is my rock bottom and your words mean everything thank you 💞

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I pray we all join the success stories one day …..

[Greatful]

OH @Lilmizz21

My heart goes out to you my dear.........this is so scary at times.. Our brains are a mess. You can recover........Some say the hard waves have brought them good windows....  Fear/paranioa  is a horrible thing.....So hard to not sink to believing the thoughts.........You must know that your brain is trying to find it's self.  I know we don't like not knowing how long this will take but we have to believe it is just around the corner.....

 

[eileen1111]

how are you today @Lilmizz21 ? 🥺

[Lilmizz21]

@eileen1111 hi lovely, another day of it unfortunately. I feel physically so brain damaged, brain swelling.

 

How are you mdear?

[Mj58]

Hi, hanging in there . How are you doing? 

[Lilmizz21]

Hi everyone

 

Unfortunately I am declining more and more. I have all above symptoms and now what seems to be pgad and like a force holding me down  I also cant see out of left eye covered in floaties. And when I do see my brain tells me "its gonna shut down" and almost makes it where I know what I can see in front of me but it's not there. Almost like my brain makes it feel like I've shut down its weird

 

i have no idea why but I am just getting more and more unbareable with no relief

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21

I am sorry you are going through this.....This is the most inhuman thing these drug can do to us.

 Is there anything that can help get you through the days, on day at a time.  Can you listen to books on tape?   You can heal Lil........

My heart goes out to you and I am sending you a big HUG  🤗

[TL1802]

@Lilmizz21

 

I can’t say this strongly enough. You need to go to a small fiber neuropathy specialist and have them do skin biopsies and all the blood work for autoimmune conditions. There is a very specific set of bloodwork that needs to be done. You can find information at neuropathycommons.org

 

There is a very strong likelihood that many who think they are just going through withdrawal are going through autoimmunity due to the removal of the immune suppression of SSRIs. Usually you can catch it within the first 1-2 months of the onset of symptoms.

[Lilmizz21]

Hi @TL1802

 

My story is a little different from withdrawl. I had a severe adverse reaction to one pill that caused me drug induced akathasia

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21

How are you doing?

[Lilmizz21]

@Greatful in the most severe way. Feel like im slipping away. How are you? X

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21  I really feel your pain my friend.......You will turn the corner one day.♥️

You are doing the best you can.....Sadly we all have to wait our turn to feel better.......

 

Me, I am doing about the same...Struggling more with the low mood right now.. Trying to stay positive is all on it's own.....Really there is nothing we can do but take one minute, hour and day at a time..........We will get there as long as we let time drag us forward into the future.♥️

 

 

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21  Hang in there L....

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21  How are you doing?

[Greatful]

@Lilmizz21  How are you doing?