success ☼ MrAnxious: 3 months off Effexor XR (6 years on)

[MrAnxious]

Anybody wants help or a friend for support email me your contact and Facebook info to my inbox on here and I will add you. I use this for more journalling. But you can ask me questions on here. I just like chatting that is runs on.

[MrAnxious]

Wow I have started 14 day anti biotic cipro and I feel terrible anxiety 10 days in. I have a hot face..eczema and I am eating a lot and insomnia at night. Its like my withdrawal is back heightened. I've read anti biotics can do this. 4 more days to go. Hanging in there.

[Petunia]

I don't know much about antibiotics, but from what I've read here, that one - cipro, is the worst kind to take when you have withdrawal.  I've read about others who have reacted badly to it.  I hope you feel better soon.  Are you taking a probiotic?  If you're not, you might want to take some to reinstate the good bacteria.  Perhaps others with more experience will be able to tell you how long the reaction might last.

[MrAnxious]

Thanks Petu! Your awesome.

[Lexy]

How are you doing?

[MrAnxious]

Hey lexy! I am doing good thanks. I have had a week where I am really doing things and getting out. I am almost forgetting what use to be. This withdrawal has really come along and I am seeing great improvements in many areas. Anxiety has even decreased. My one main issue is that I still feel like I am living in a dream/like some things people events and things seem like a movie. I forgot what that is called akanathsia? Or depersonalization? I just wish I could help more people get through withdrawal. I went down on buspar again, never really felt a wave from that decrease but I held for 5 weeks instead of 4. How are you doing??

[Jemima]

Glad to hear you're doing well, Mr. Anxious.  The terms you're groping for are depersonalization and derealization. Akathisia is a state of being extremely agitated.

[MrAnxious]

Thanks Jemima, but I am struggling with the fact where I still don't feel grounded. I feel like I am in a movie playing a role that isn't me? Does that make sense, like I catch myself laughing etc but a lot of times my mood is flat...like I am in a dreamy state. What does this sound like and will it ever go away? Also I find myself indulging in the green stuff because it seems to take me out of that state but I am doing it more regularly...anyone know why I have to get high? Is this just a phase because I had quit for 6 months... Its been since Nov 2012 since I took any last lick of antidepressant so 19 months. Still on 10mg/day buspar and reducing monthly. Any help would be great to those questions

 

Bless all your journies and health

[Nikki]

Mr. Anxious hi.  Sent you a PM on FB.  I think with smoking 'the green stuff' does it make you feel happy or even silly?  A sense of euphoria?

 

I am discovering that if I take anything like naproxin (Alleve), anything at all I feel lousy the next day.  Pot can actually become a depressant.

 

It's amazing that you have been off Effexor for 19 months. Congratulations. I had heard that there isn't a problem getting off Buspar which is a welcome change from all these other drugs.

 

Hugs.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

 

anyone know why I have to get high?

 

My guess is it is not because you are thc deficient    I would suspect you aren't able to deal with the mental/emotional states of wd in any other way (this is not meant as a criticism). I sure wouldn't keep using it, tho. Psychoactive substances can turn and bite you in the butt big time in wd. I don't think it will help with getting you to feel more grounded. Substances like that (including etoh, and the various other pills we have been prescribed) take you away from yourself and others.

 

The only way out is through. Getting to the other side without chemical manipulation other than a controlled taper.

[Petunia]

I feel like I am in a movie playing a role that isn't me? Does that make sense, like I catch myself laughing etc but a lot of times my mood is flat...like I am in a dreamy state. What does this sound like and will it ever go away?

 

It sounds like something which is often referred to as depersonalization.  Its a common symptom of withdrawal, and can last a long time.  I still get it, even though I've been off all drugs and psychoactive substances for over a year now.  I'm not sure if its getting less, or if I'm just getting used to the feeling.  I think its getting less.  It seems to be related to the hyper-awareness part of the fight/flight response.  When the nervous system settles down, heals fully and becomes balanced again, then this symptom will go away too.

 

There may actually be some truth to the idea that we are all playing roles in life, and who or what we really are, is something completely different, but that's a different subject.

 

It always surprises me when I read posts from people who are struggling with withdrawal symptoms, trying to recover, and then they mention drinking coffee or alcohol or like in your case, the green stuff.  I can't mix half a teaspoon of chocolate power into my milk without noticing it the next day.

 

I agree with what CW wrote, psychoactive substances might relieve a symptom temporarily, but in the long run, I believe you are slowing your recovery. Just because something is 'natural' doesn't mean its completely harmless.  Rainwater is natural, but we are not supposed to breathe it.

 

There is a forum specifically for DP/DR  http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/

 

Many members there claim that their DP was triggered by weed.

[MrAnxious]

Mr. Anxious hi. Sent you a PM on FB. I think with smoking 'the green stuff' does it make you feel happy or even silly? A sense of euphoria?

 

I am discovering that if I take anything like naproxin (Alleve), anything at all I feel lousy the next day. Pot can actually become a depressant.

 

It's amazing that you have been off Effexor for 19 months. Congratulations. I had heard that there isn't a problem getting off Buspar which is a welcome change from all these other drugs.

 

Hugs.

Yah that makes sense. You must have a very sensitive nervous system wow. Looking back the 19 months went by very quick. In November it will be two years sans effexor. I really think buspar was a awesome option to hide some of effexors side effects. As I reduce buspar I believe effexor w/d is coming out what is left of it. Its been a easier transition with buspar though. I know everyone is different but I would recommend trying it in place of a AD when somebody goes off abruptly.

 

I hope you are doing better Nikki how long off have you been off ur AD? Or are you reducing ?

[MrAnxious]

 

 

anyone know why I have to get high?

My guess is it is not because you are thc deficient I would suspect you aren't able to deal with the mental/emotional states of wd in any other way (this is not meant as a criticism). I sure wouldn't keep using it, tho. Psychoactive substances can turn and bite you in the butt big time in wd. I don't think it will help with getting you to feel more grounded. Substances like that (including etoh, and the various other pills we have been prescribed) take you away from yourself and others.

 

The only way out is through. Getting to the other side without chemical manipulation other than a controlled taper.

Thanks, I took your advice and quit. It seems in withdrawal we will try anything that makes us feel better. At first it did and I became enlightened and learned a few things but then it bit me in the butt like everything else. Clean is the only way to go but I don't know life seems kinda dull without being high but that could be because of withdrawal. I don't think my happy chemicals are firing totally. How are you doing? Reducing or totally off? And how long?

[MrAnxious]

 

 

I feel like I am in a movie playing a role that isn't me? Does that make sense, like I catch myself laughing etc but a lot of times my mood is flat...like I am in a dreamy state. What does this sound like and will it ever go away?

It sounds like something which is often referred to as depersonalization. Its a common symptom of withdrawal, and can last a long time. I still get it, even though I've been off all drugs and psychoactive substances for over a year now. I'm not sure if its getting less, or if I'm just getting used to the feeling. I think its getting less. It seems to be related to the hyper-awareness part of the fight/flight response. When the nervous system settles down, heals fully and becomes balanced again, then this symptom will go away too.

 

There may actually be some truth to the idea that we are all playing roles in life, and who or what we really are, is something completely different, but that's a different subject.

 

It always surprises me when I read posts from people who are struggling with withdrawal symptoms, trying to recover, and then they mention drinking coffee or alcohol or like in your case, the green stuff. I can't mix half a teaspoon of chocolate power into my milk without noticing it the next day.

 

I agree with what CW wrote, psychoactive substances might relieve a symptom temporarily, but in the long run, I believe you are slowing your recovery. Just because something is 'natural' doesn't mean its completely harmless. Rainwater is natural, but we are not supposed to breathe it.

 

There is a forum specifically for DP/DR http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/

 

Many members there claim that their DP was triggered by weed.

 

Thanks for the reply petu, ur truly awesome. Your are 110% correct in everything you wrote. And thank you for the link. I want to know more about the roles in life etc. Anyway I can reach you so we can talk more. I am not really a email person so this takes a lot because I am on my phone. I hope you are doing awesome and being off over a year is truly amazing. Peace love and happiness my friend. Maybe one day we can meet and laugh about all this

[MrAnxious]

Update : okay I became pretty depressed yesterday and I know its because of the weed I have been smoking over the past 3 weeks. I believe it has become a addiction because my thoughts are like why can't I not smoke it, will life not be grand without it? Its just hard to quit it. It gives me a feeling like wow my mind is open and I can think about things that I can't when I am not high : I know this is all bad and I am fixing it. I quit today..I have come to far to risk anymore feelings because I was feeling decent before this escapade of the green stuff. I know when I was on effexor I smoked like 4-5 large joints a day. This all ties into it somehow and maybe someone can explain. I have gained 8lbs since I started puffing and that has made my sleep apnea come back hence not sleeping good. Its a downward perfect storm. So I am done but where can I find support to quit? I feel so alone on this journey kinda except for some amazing people in here.

 

I hopehope everyone is doing well. If anybody new or old needs help with anything please don't hesitate to talk to me peace love and happiness goes a long way.

[Nikki]

Mr. A....

 

Cipro - Levaquin - Bactrim are very potent antibiotics.  The actually do cause anxiety/low moods/severe dreams/lethargy, etc.

 

When I have taken them and was not in a WD phase I was okay.  During a Lexapro taper my bf pointed out to me that Cipro would level me emotionally.  And as soon as I finished the Cipro I was okay.

 

It really does affect our nervous systems.  It's not imaginary.  Levaquin is particularly bad.

 

I love your pics of the outdoors on FB.

 

When you are ready you will stop with 'green stuff' and you really will feel much better.  You are spiritual, pray to be released from the compulsion:)

 

When you get a chance go over to FB.....would like to hear more about Buspar.  Doctors seem reluctant to prescribe it saying it does nothing.  That's what I've heard.

 

Hugs

[MrAnxious]

Update : started juicing with the juicer I bought , its going to be a vital part in recovery. I urge anyone in withdrawal to start pumping vegetables in your system by juicing. If serotonin 80% is produced in the gut , well it makes sense to feed your body full of vitamins and minerals and nutrients via blood stream.

 

I am on day 3 and already feel more energy. Will keep you updated. Feel free to msg me!

[MrAnxious]

Alright the juicing is going fine. I haven't started feeling any benefits yet but its more a journey than instant results. I am looking to clean and power wash my gut and GI tract so that I will absorb maximum nutrients.

 

On another note I just broke the w/d rule and went down two letters instead of one every month. I am feeling it, my head is off into space..lots of anxiety. So I am gonna hold for two months now. Its amazing to see that buspar is covering up effexor w/d. I never slept a penny last night and I am getting the heartbeats all through my body, mental fog is there. Its like going back in time and feeling the mental torture all over again but not in a super strong way.

 

I just want to be off this stuff. Maybe I will go back to one letter down but I do want off.

[Petunia]

Just a thought Mr. A, you may be detoxifying from all that juicing, that also could be adding to your increased symptoms.... remember, make changes gradually, including dietary changes.

[MrAnxious]

Just a thought Mr. A, you may be detoxifying from all that juicing, that also could be adding to your increased symptoms.... remember, make changes gradually, including dietary changes.

Yah for sure. I was doing too much juice. Now I have switched to organic and that seems to helped..less chemicals.

[MrAnxious]

Okay update: I tried to go down two letters on my buspar meaning I always cut off one letter a month. I tried two thinking, okay maybe I can cheat because its taking forever. Wow , headaches are constant, felt my heart beating out of my chest, mental fog, huge irratability . I realize how much it still has a hold on me. I don't have much buspar left at all but this decrease double as small as it is, really hit me hard. I am eating tons..got a terrible cold(2 and half weeks so far) fatigued and not exercising! I was doing so well too. So long story short yesterday after 5 days of doubling down and torturing myself I went back to only one letter down. I don't want to hold conversation, short with people. Would prefer being alone at the moment and that wasn't me before the decrease! So back to normal decrease. Anyone care to chat about this ? I need some words of support please..

 

 

Mr. A

[Lexy]

I am sorry to hear that.  Go slowly don't make the mistake I made.  

[Petunia]

I've taken buspar in the past, every time, I just stopped CT, not having any knowledge of withdrawal or tapering.  The more I'm learning here, the more I'm understanding why I'm in such a mess now.

 

I'm sorry you are suffering from cutting your dose and a cold, probably not the best time to cut, but it looks like you figured that out.  If withdrawal is teaching us anything, its patience. 

[MrAnxious]

Thanks lexy and petu. its a learning process and I am back in the midst of withdrawal feeling all the ssymptoms its so frustrating and deceiving. When will this hell stop having a total effect on our life's ! I have Canada day weekend at girlfriends and relatives , how do I explain how I am feeling when people see I am not myself. Its her family and friends I haven't met all of them !

[MrAnxious]

Weird : update.

 

Since upping back dose, I feel a lot more stabile, but I did stop juicing for a day, so that may have helped. Also I quit a week ago smoking the green stuff. It wasn't helping me.

 

Let's hope I get my energy back now !

[MrAnxious]

I have a question if somebody could answer it.

 

How long does it take until serotonin and dopamine receptors start producing these chemicals. I feel myself that I don't have that happy feeling or excitement, more like a numb blandness and I am 19months off effexor, I never had that feeling on effexor I was just numbed out. So its been over 7 years that I haven't been motivated or felt great. That's a long time. I seek pleasure from betting and smoking Mary Jane. I am wondering if I will ever start feeling good good where you know I want to go out and enjoy things instead of just going with the flow and pushing myself to try to enjoy something. I guess what I am saying is I am not full out depressed but I don't really have that feel good feeling yet and I am scared that it will never come back. Is there any articles or anything that states people really started feeling good 2-3 years out of protracted withdrawal? Do I have to be off buspar as well so they can start producing again, is there anything I can do to ramp up production?

[alex]

Mr.A: I am 2 years off Effexor, and after a horrendous experience that almost killed me, I am starting to enjoy life again.

I mean, I am not a bundle of joy, but yes, starting to feel that life is worth living.Just a few months ago, I just wanted to die.

I think that makes a BIG difference.

The only thing that has worked for me is time, a lot of b****s, patience, and staying away from psy meds.

"Good" or much better days are the rule now, and bad days the exception.

For what I've learned here, there is nothing that can speed up the process;on the contrary, drugs or supplements can make things worse.

 

Hang in there.

[Narcissus]

Hi, Mr. A.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent setback.  I've had one too, it's been very hard to deal with.  

 

 

 

Is there any articles or anything that states people really started feeling good 2-3 years out of protracted withdrawal? 

 

Recovery stories seem to suggest this (you might try reading some), but remember that what we're getting back is our health, our capacity to feel good.  We still have to figure out how to be motivated/engaged/happy like everyone else.  

 

 

 

 I don't really have that feel good feeling yet and I am scared that it will never come back.

 

It will!  

 

Hang in there, things will calm down again soon.

[MrAnxious]

Mr.A: I am 2 years off Effexor, and after a horrendous experience that almost killed me, I am starting to enjoy life again.

I mean, I am not a bundle of joy, but yes, starting to feel that life is worth living.Just a few months ago, I just wanted to die.

I think that makes a BIG difference.

The only thing that has worked for me is time, a lot of b****s, patience, and staying away from psy meds.

"Good" or much better days are the rule now, and bad days the exception.

For what I've learned here, there is nothing that can speed up the process;on the contrary, drugs or supplements can make things worse.

 

Hang in there.

 

Thanks Alex for your response. I am glad you have gotten through the rough spots and are enjoying life. You are totally right about the good days and the bad days. I have a much bigger appreciation for life after all this and maybe that is what scares me(like all that I missed out out on while being drugged. Flip side is I appreciate it that much more now. I just want to be off my buspar and am almost there. I can truly heal once I am med free release these chains. Talk to me anytime !!

[MrAnxious]

Hi, Mr. A.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent setback. I've had one too, it's been very hard to deal with.

 

 

Is there any articles or anything that states people really started feeling good 2-3 years out of protracted withdrawal?

Recovery stories seem to suggest this (you might try reading some), but remember that what we're getting back is our health, our capacity to feel good. We still have to figure out how to be motivated/engaged/happy like everyone else.

I don't really have that feel good feeling yet and I am scared that it will never come back.

It will!

 

Hang in there, things will calm down again soon.

 

 

Thanks nar ! I will have to keep researching, the answers seem to be tucked away but I realize its different for everyone. How are you doing after the setback? Are you med free now? What have you learned from this experience? I find time goes by so much faster now as I enjoy life so much more day by day..its the bad waves that challenge us and set us back. I hope to hear more from you my friend, keep in touch

[MrAnxious]

I am getting back on track since the doubling down of my dose, never again! I am almost stabile. Trying to lose weight has seemed to be a huge problem for me. I need some help with it, because if I gain weight then my sleep apnea comes back and prevents me from breathing at night, and mimics all withdrawal symptoms...it's all a crap shoot.

 

Just wanted to say hi and I am still fighting

[MrAnxious]

Hey everyone,

 

Question : I really want to try and open up my serotonin receptors or add more serotonin to my depleted brain. I've been looking into 5 htp.. I am on such a low dose of buspar and its not a SSRI. So I was wondering if it would be okay to try? It may help my anxiety and depression and get me out of this withdrawal induced trance that I have become ccomfortable with. Its worth a shot, has anyone ever tried it? And would anything bad happen if I did?

[Petunia]

Hi Mr. A.

 

I'm sorry you are still dealing with symptoms, I know how you feel, this takes such a long time.

 

But withdrawal is more complicated than your brain not having enough serotonin.  Who told you your brain is depleted of serotonin? Believing that our problems are caused by a lack of one individual brain chemical is what got us into trouble in the first place. Your whole nervous system is working to re-balance and that involves more than just serotonin receptors.

 

Here is a thread with a long discussion about 5-HTP.  Read through it all because some people in withdrawal have had bad experiences with trying it, some found it helped:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/656-5-htp-5-hydroxytryptophan-and-tryptophan/

 

If you do decide to try, please start with a very small dose, a nervous system sensitized by withdrawal reacts differently than a healthy one.

 

Petu.

[MrAnxious]

Hi Mr. A.

 

I'm sorry you are still dealing with symptoms, I know how you feel, this takes such a long time.

 

But withdrawal is more complicated than your brain not having enough serotonin. Who told you your brain is depleted of serotonin? Believing that our problems are caused by a lack of one individual brain chemical is what got us into trouble in the first place. Your whole nervous system is working to re-balance and that involves more than just serotonin receptors.

 

Here is a thread with a long discussion about 5-HTP. Read through it all because some people in withdrawal have had bad experiences with trying it, some found it helped:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/656-5-htp-5-hydroxytryptophan-and-tryptophan/

 

If you do decide to try, please start with a very small dose, a nervous system sensitized by withdrawal reacts differently than a healthy one.

 

Petu.

I thought maybe it would help with anxiety because my anxiety is still pretty intense more than before I went on effexor. I hear you about the serotonin thing, I am just trying to find a way to feel better and have motivation etc..my motivation and social skills are severely lacking. Maybe its depression I don't know or a wave. Just I want off the buspar..so sick of meds..thanks for the reply

[Petunia]

I understand, I'm not saying don't try it, just be careful.  I wish there was an easy way to fix this, but it really just comes down to letting time pass and taking care of ourselves the best we can.  A lot of people seem to be experiencing bad waves and an increase in symptoms lately, I see it here and other places, you are not alone in struggling with this.

 

If you decide to try it, perhaps you could add your experiences to the thread.

[MrAnxious]

I understand, I'm not saying don't try it, just be careful. I wish there was an easy way to fix this, but it really just comes down to letting time pass and taking care of ourselves the best we can. A lot of people seem to be experiencing bad waves and an increase in symptoms lately, I see it here and other places, you are not alone in struggling with this.

 

If you decide to try it, perhaps you could add your experiences to the thread.

Well I am thinking, could it set me back? Like if I took 50mg you know and it does help my anxiety, then what? Do I have to take it for life or for a bit of time until more length of time of withdrawal has passed. I am hesitant to try it petu but what of it does take away the anxiety. Like I am 24 months off my full dose of effexor and I am 20months of taking a weekend trial of wellbutrin and then just stopping abruptly...trying Zoloft and lorazepam during these months. Still on buspar but will be done in 6-8 months. When could I count the healing..how do I know when the healing is complete and what I am left with..so many questions. Like don't get me wrong I feel 80% recovered ...its the 20% left aka heavy anxiety and lack of happy emotion that I want !

 

Thanks petu ur amazing for your help