julesb: I’m at a loss and I'm scared

[julesb]

i have been through so much in the past few months and it’s been scary. I was put back on lexapro after a while of not being on anything. I was on it for a few months and i decided that i did not want to take it anymore because i just did not feel like myself. After coming off it was the worst 3-4 weeks of my life super bad depression anxiety off the charts and just not good things were happening. My psychiatrist said i needed to go back on the lexapro plus a mood stabilizer because i’m apparently bi polar. After a few days back on the medication i was experiencing tingling in my arms and legs and it was major. I went to the hospital for them to not even do anything and told me it was just anxiety. I went to my doctor the next day who then told me to stop taking both the medications. Since then i was back to really bad depression and just an overall weird feeling . My memory has ben terrible my mind feels blank and it feels like i can’t think of anything. I can’t tell when i’m hungry or tired and i get floaters in my eyes. on top of that my body feels like it’s numb all over and i’m so scared and i don’t know what to do. On top of that i feel emotionally very numb to everything and very disconnected. If anyone has suggestions please help. I’m supposed to go get an mri very soon and an EEG. 

[Onmyway]

Dear Jules, 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. 

I am so sorry you have been suffering and I know how scary and confusing it feels. It seems like you had withdrawal symptoms from going off of the lexapro in 2020. Your nervous system was destabilized and when you reinstated lexapro at your previous high dosage it was too much for your system and hence the paresthesia. This was then compounded by cutting the medication cold turkey again by your doctor. This sounds horrible. The good news is that it will get better with time. The bad news is that we don't know how long that will take. 

 

There is one thing that you could try at this point that might make a difference and that is reinstatement at a very small dose of your last medicine. I would suggest going back to lexapro at 0.5 mg. This is not without its risks - a previous reinstatement has created physical symptoms but from my understanding (correct me if I am wrong) has helped with the emotional symptoms. It could be that a small dose will help with the emotional symptoms without adverse effects. We find that full dose reinstatements have adverse effects as the body has already made some adjustments but a tiny amount may help. The risk is that this could make things worse. We are trying to insure ourselves against that by going at a tiny dose. 

 

I see that you had a bad reaction to Wellbutrin but Wellbutrin tends to be activating and withdrawal is in general quite activating for most people (not all) - on edge feelings, muscle jerks, paresthesia, anxiety, insomnia and inability to relax. So Wellbutrin was a bad thing to prescribe. But most doctors don't understand (or believe in) withdrawal so I suppose that this one added it because it is an atypical antidepressant so if others are making things worse, why not throw this into the mix. So even though there is worry that a full dose lexapro reinstatement made things worse and Wellbutrin made things worse they may not mean that a small dose lexapro will do the same. However, it is quite far in time from when you came off of these drugs so it may not work but that is really our only tool and I am suggesting it because you seem to be suffering a lot.  

 

Here is more reading on reinstatement so you can make up your mind. 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Please take some time and consider what I wrote above and decide whether you want to reinstate a small amount. If you do, you will track your symptoms for about a week and see if they get better.

If you get an immediate worsening of the symptoms you can stop. If things don't get worse, a week's wait will help to decide if it is working. If it is but not enough, we can then try to increase the dose a tiny bit. If it is not working and not making things worse we can stop it. 

Recording drug schedule and symptoms to track patterns and progress - Tapering - Surviving Antidepressants 

 

In the meantime, here are a few more resources that can help you make sense of your situation

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

What is happening in your brain? - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

You can also support your healing by trying magnesium. Start small - half a pill first and see how it affects you. Most people find magnesium helps with anxiety and on edge feelings but a few have bad reactions to it during some part of their withdrawal (may be able to take some later). 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

 

We also recommend Omega - 3 supplements. Again, start low. Remember to add one drug at a time and track your symptoms so you know if they help or especially if they hurt. 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

You can also use non-drug techniques to help with some of the emotional symptoms 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Finally, if you haven't yet, check this thread out as well - it has very helpful information 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

From your description it seems like you may have derealization which scares people quite a lot. You describe feeling detached. See if this fits. It may help to know that others have been through it and gotten better. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18923-derealization-or-depersonalization-dr-and-dp/#comment-456

 

All of the symptoms you describe - the brain fog, the tingling, the feeling numb both physically and psychologically, feeling detached, the floaters and so on are known withdrawal effects. You can get an MRI and an EEG to feel reassured that nothing is wrong - some of our members do. They usually show no changes. But worth checking anyway. 

 

Just remember that all of these will eventually get better but it takes a while. 

 

In the meantime, please eat well, get as much sleep as you can (it is not easy in WD) and be gentle on yourself. Avoid any psychoactive substances - coffee, alcohol, pot, street drugs as they tend to set people back in withdrawal. 

 

Here is a link to the success stories thread to reassure you that things will indeed get better. 

Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal - Surviving Antidepressants

 

I want to welcome you to SA once again. Please read through the various topics, check other members' threads and say hello. We are a friendly and supportive bunch here. 

 

Hope you feel some respite very soon, 

OMW

 

Edited November 21, 2021 by Onmyway

[julesb]

hello,

thank you so so so much for responding to me. I started and stopped the wellbutrin this month. i was on it for 2 days , but even those 2 days i felt different. I even noticed my genital area go more numb. Since then it’s still numb so now i’m scared i induced PSSD on top of all this on myself. I was prescribed a small amount of prozac but have not taken it yet because i’m so scared of medication at this point. @Onmyway

[Onmyway]

Hi @Julesb, 

You are welcome! I am glad that it helped. 

We do not recommend reinstating a new drug. We would advise to reinstate the original drug from which you came off last. These drugs may target slightly different things and as such may not resolve each other's withdrawal issues. If you have even one pill of lexapro left, you can dissolve it in water and take 1/20th (easiest way to be precise without a scale) if you decide to reinstate. Yes, this can be daunting, so no pressure from me on which way to choose. It is just the only thing we know can work but it doesn't work every time. 

 

Genital numbness is quite a common symptom. It can come and go. Right now the skin all over my body feels different and less sensitive and this is especially true on my face. It's quite freaky. With withdrawal, you learn to just wait things out. Also, even if you did get PSSD, it goes away like all of the other symptoms if you are patient so no need to worry about it and become preoccupied. 

 

I think the best course of action is to accept that for the forseeable future (months to a couple of years) you will have weird symptoms and they will come and go. Serotonin is all over your body and so the symptoms can be all over the body. Best thing is to observe them and even welcome them as a form of healing - this is evidence that your body is adapting and you are healing. Some people do get obsessed with a specific symptom because some of these are truly bizarre - at some point half of my body was tingling - the left half from head to toe and they can be very very distressing. And many are hard to ignore as they occupy such a large portion of your experience of the world and yourself during this time. But, the less you go there, the better it is in order to avoid additional stress. And sometimes when we get obsessed with a symptom it can become worse as our minds do have an effect on our body as well. 

 

Please be patient with yourself and the process. This will get better. And it may get worse for a bit, then better, then bad again, then better and so on - the windows and waves. Do read that link above on what is happening in your brain if you haven't yet. It will help you make sense of things. 

 

OMW

 

 

[julesb]

hello,

i’m not exactly sure what to do anymore . i don’t feel good and i don’t know how to go on feeling this way anymore. I think i have now gotten pssd…from which drug i don’t know. Everyone wants me to try another drug maybe the wellbutrin for longer this time but i don’t know if i can im too scared. I don’t know if the best thing right now is to wait it out or just try the wellbutrin 

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

Hey, fellow pssd, emotional numb, can’t tell if I’m hungry person. I was also scared. Terrified. Which is really something when you can’t feel.

My mental cognitive function has gotten better and now I can feel tired or at least my body can. Symptoms will improve. I cannot tell you which symptom will first improve for you. And I can’t tell you whether or not to take Wellbutrin. (Really want to get off of it myself)  It can be terrifying not knowing what move to make next. It’s paralyzing. I don’t even want to take a tylenol. Right now Im waiting to see what happens to me next. Sometimes waiting and seeing how your body is feeling is the best way to go. If you think reinstatement of Wellbutrin might help you I would ask a mod about the risk. Reinstatement shouldn’t be taken lightly. But try to avoid any new medication. I was pressured myself and now my body is rejecting food. Listen to your body. I know it is hard with the pressure from people, especially when we are so vulnerable and confused.

Ask a mod if you think you would benefit from reinstatement. 
Right now I’m not afraid all the time. Sometimes am, sometimes not. When I first got here I was lost. I was looking for answers and reassurance.
 

You won’t find all the answers here. But you will find some. You will learn from others experiences. And you will find support. Take it at your pace if you can. You just started on this journey.

 

I’m not an expert or a mod. But I hope you can find something from this. Even if it’s temporary.

[Onmyway]

On 11/23/2021 at 10:50 PM, julesb said:

hello,

i’m not exactly sure what to do anymore . i don’t feel good and i don’t know how to go on feeling this way anymore. I think i have now gotten pssd…from which drug i don’t know. Everyone wants me to try another drug maybe the wellbutrin for longer this time but i don’t know if i can im too scared. I don’t know if the best thing right now is to wait it out or just try the wellbutrin 

Hi @Jules,

 

I am so sorry that you are going through this and it feels despairing. Fear not, it will get better. 

 

I would not go to a new drug at this point. It will likely throw your system into more chaos. You can try the very small dose reinstatement as suggested above.  

 

It is hard to think about how to go forward when one is feeling so bad or not feeling anything. But the one thing you need to remember is that you don't have to fix this, it will fix itself. You just have to bear it for a while, accept it and learn to live with it. One day at a time, 1 hr at a time. It is incredibly hard but you will have better days. Have you had a look at the non-drug techniques to manage emotional symptoms that I linked above? 

 

What things that you have done have made you feel better so far? What helps? What times of the day do you feel better? Are there any activities that you enjoy - walking, listening to music, watching TV, playing games? I know it is hard but try to think of some. For me being with people and playing boardgames was one activity that really helped me in the beginning. It would be enough distraction that I would not be preoccupied with my symptoms - you could do that on the web these days - boardgamearena.com. Walking is something that generally calms me down. Sitting in the sun can be good as well. If none of these give you pleasure, do things that used to give you pleasure. And slowly you will start enjoying them again. 

 

Hope you feel some respite soon, 

OMW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[julesb]

hi ,

can you please tell me more about how exactly i i reinstate the drug? you said to dissolve it in water but i’m not exactly sure how to do that …how i possible cut the pill? Also does it matter how long i was off of it for? @Onmyway

[Altostrata]

Hello, @julesb

 

It sounds like you have fairly typical withdrawal symptoms and a bad reaction when you tried the drug again. What we often see here is when people go on and off psychiatric drugs such as antidepressants, their nervous systems can become sensitized and they will react badly to normal dosages of the drugs, even if they tolerated them before.

 

Withdrawal effects are not the same as a psychiatric disorder, or a neurological disorder that can be seen with an EEG or MRI. An emotional anesthesia that people often call "depression" is a consequence of taking the drugs and going off them. We have seen this very gradually goes away over many months, with other withdrawal symptoms.

 

As @Onmyway explained, a tiny reinstatement of the original drug may help. A very low dose probably will not trigger the adverse effects caused by a higher dose. We've often seen this work. You'd stabilize for a while, then taper by tiny amounts later.

 

In your case, the original drug that caused withdrawal may be Zoloft or Lexapro. Both come in prescription liquids so you can take a very small amount. What happened when you went off Zoloft in 2020? Did you immediately go on Lexapro? How was the switch made? When did odd symptoms show up when you were on Lexapro?

 

Please add approximate dates (month and year) to your signature.

[julesb]

I started it again on july 8th

stopped september 18tg

reinstated october 16

since then i have not been on lexapro but tried wellbutrin for 2 days. @Altostrata

 

do you think i can possibly reinstate the lexapro?

[Onmyway]

Hi @julesb, 

I was suggesting dissolving because it is the easiest way to do it just for the trial as people often have tablets lying around. But a liquid formulation from the pharmacy is generally better if you can get a prescription for that. In this forum you can see specific topics on Lexapro and Zoloft  Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ - Tapering - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Can you please amend your signature so that it is easier to read. This will help us advise you more quickly and accurately. 

It should read something like this (note I don't have your correct dates)

 

2012 - Month XYZ, 2020 - zoloft 50mg

July 18, 2021 - Spetember, DATE, 2020 - lexapro 10mg, (how did you stop - cold turkey, quick taper etc.) 

 

Hope you are feeling better, 

OMW

 

 

 

[julesb]

is it even possible for emotional anesthesia to go away when reinstating the drug? or is this a separate thing?@Onmyway

[Onmyway]

Hi @julesb

Yes, it is possible but it's not a guarantee. 

 

OMW

[julesb]

Reinstatement

 

I have reinstated an ssri. It is fluoxetine, i read on the reinstatement page i can reinstate it with fluoxetine. I will let you know my results 

 

Edited December 1, 2021 by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

[ChessieCat]

Please update your drug signature with doses and dates of doses changes.  Thank you.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

[julesb]

If i just reinstated a drug, how long do i stay and how do i go about tapering , i am very confused 

[manymoretodays]

On 12/1/2021 at 11:49 AM, julesb said:

I have reinstated an ssri. It is fluoxetine, i read on the reinstatement page i can reinstate it with fluoxetine. I will let you know my results 

 

1 hour ago, julesb said:

If i just reinstated a drug, how long do i stay and how do i go about tapering , i am very confused 

 

Hi there julesb, @julesb

So you have tried a reinstatement of fluoxetine(Prozac).

What dose?

I'd encourage you start very low with your reinstatement, like 1 mg of fluoxetine.  As this will help guide you and us to see if it is going to be helpful in reducing any WD symptoms.  If need be, it can be slowly increased after a period of time, at least a week.

Don't worry about tapering it now.

We are about harm reduction......and so, do want you to go cautiously with reinstatement.

 

What symptoms are you having now?  What were your days like?

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom list

Why did you choose to reinstate fluoxetine instead of Zoloft or Lexapro?

What time do you take your fluoxetine?  How many days have you been taking it.  Please answer with the drug name, dose, and time in o'clock.  This helps avoid confusion.

 

And I am sorry about your own confusion too.  That can often occur in WD.  Hold tight.

 

I did move your post from the Tapering forum on back here to your Introduction too.  This is the best place for you to post your specifics, then everything about you and your case is all in one place, and that does make it so much easier to follow.  You can see what advice and suggests have already been given as well.  It's all above this post.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

Here is the topic on reinstatement again ^

 

To update/edit your signature, you just go to AccountSettings/signature

If you would note the dates, with month and day too, that would be helpful.  Especially for changes, or additions made recently.

This is a little confusing to me:

Reinstated zoloft 50mg for 2 months 2021 and switched back to Lexapro 10mg What months?

Reinstated 10mg 2021 later that year and stopped a after 3 months  Months, rather than later that year. 

Reinstated after 4 week withdrawal for 4 days plus lamictal 5mg  When? And it sounds like you reinstated 2 drugs?  What else besides Lamictal?

Wellbutrin 100mg for 2 days November 2021  Which days?

Currently on nothing  

 

And best, welcome aboard.  If you could, try to answer my questions at the start first.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays(mmt)

 

Edited December 3, 2021 by manymoretodays

[julesb]

hi, 

its very hard to remember all the dates of  things my memory is not great right now as i believe i have depersonalization from all of this. i reinstated the prozac because i read that if the lexapro was too much i could use an alternative. i’ve reinstated for 2 days now in the morning at 5mg but i feel my genital area is even more numb. i don’t know what to do anymore if i should just stop all together or go lower 

[julesb]

I updated as much as i could 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @julesb

 

If I were you, I would get a prescription for the liquid form of fluoxetine and reduce immediately to 1mg. If you continue to take 5mg, the numb effects are likely to get more intense over the next week or so.

 

As we explained to you above, taking an antidepressant again may not be the answer to your problems, as they cause emotional numbness and sexual dysfunction. The disorientation, emotional anesthesia, and sexual dysfunction you have found to be so distressing are probably a result of having been on Zoloft for 8 years, and then withdrawal syndrome. Your nervous system needs to recover from the drug effects.

 

Your type of symptoms -- disorientation, emotional anesthesia, and sexual dysfunction -- are not the kind for which we usually suggest reinstatement. When we talked about reinstatement, it was in the range of 0.5mg-1mg, to test the effect. Please let us know how you're doing.

[julesb]

Hello,

if i don’t have liquid form. is there a way i can dissolve 5mg into water ? 

[Altostrata]

Read Tips for tapering off fluoxetine (Prozac

[julesb]

so for 1mg i put a 10mg tablet into 10ml of water and let it dissolve and just pick up 1ml with my syringe?

[julesb]

does anyone know of this is correct i’m trying to do this tonight 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

4 minutes ago, julesb said:

does anyone know of this is correct i’m trying to do this tonight 

Yes it’s correct: 

10mg Prozac into 10 ml water it’s 10:10= 1 mg/ml which means 1mg of Prozac in each 1 ml of homemade liquid. So if u take 1ml  is  1mg of drug, if you take 2 mls is 2 mg of drug and so on. Make sure u stir to dissolve the 10mg well. What size of syringe are u using?

[julesb]

i don’t believe i have the correct syringe , i believe it’s too big , it goes up to 10ml 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 minute ago, julesb said:

i don’t believe i have the correct syringe , i believe it’s too big , it goes up to 10ml 

It’s ok but if I were u I would try to dissolve in more water so don’t have to “work” with low volumes which can be a bit less accurate. So u could do

10mg Prozac into 20 ml water, that would be 10:20= 0.5 mg drug/ ml. In other words every 1 ml would now contain 0.5 mg of drug and u would need to take 2ml from ur solution in order to get the 1mg Prozac. If this option is confusing to you, then just stick with the previous calculations and it ll still be ok. 

[julesb]

okay my syringe starts at 0.625 and goes up to 1.875 ….i know this is strange but will 1.25 work?

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 minute ago, julesb said:

okay my syringe starts at 0.625 and goes up to 1.875 ….i know this is strange but will 1.25 work?

 

Doesn’t have a 2ml indication? If it does then the second set of calculations would be fine (dilute 10mg into 20 ml water, stir to mix well, take 2ml with the syringe which will be 1mg of Prozac)

[julesb]

wow thank you so much , i’m so terrible with math and numbers. It has 2.5 i don’t know where this syringe is from it’s horrible…..i’m not sure if that works… Do i do this just tonight since i took 5mg for 2 days 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

2 minutes ago, julesb said:

wow thank you so much , i’m so terrible with math and numbers . Do i do this just tonight since i took 5mg for 2 days 

That I don’t know . I am not a moderator, you need to ask a moderator for that.  I am just good in math and wanted to help you accurately take 1mg Prozac from ur homemade liquid. 

[julesb]

okay also my syringe has 2.5 not 2 ….this syringe is terrible haha 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

3 minutes ago, julesb said:

okay also my syringe has 2.5 not 2 ….this syringe is terrible haha 

Does it have a 3? 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Just now, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Does it have a 3? 

Better just go get another syringe 🙄

[julesb]

haha oh my goodness yes it has 3

[julesb]

if this won’t work i’ll just do this taper tomorrow with a different syringe