MarkDavid: Anti-Psychotic Withdrawal

[MarkDavid]

I was put on Latuda because I told the psychiatrists at the mental hospital that I was depressed after a season of drinking that brought me to the hospital for detox.  They insisted on focusing on my depression instead of my drinking withdrawl.  So they put me on my first anti-psychotic.  I wasn't clinically depressed and it didn't have anything to do with my bi-polar but my drinking.  When they released me from the hospital Latuda was so expensive that my insurance had a hard time approving it and I ran out of my perscription from the mental hospital.  So I felt totally uneasy and unsafe.  I called the police on myself.  And I felt so unsafe that I thought I might take the gun away from the police officer.  I have never felt so out of control from a drug withdrawl in all my life.  I didn't even know I was in anti-psychotic withdrawl.  But from only taking the drug for one week I was permenately altered in my brain chemistry.  I have been on ant-psychotics ever sense.  I had to go to another mental hospital right away because I told the staff at the medical hospital that I was so unstable in so many words.  So I went to another mental hospital and they put me on Risperidal.  Taking risperidone quickly took away my homicidal and suicidal feelings.  Feelings I had never had up until the Latuda incident.   So  I took 1 mg of Risperidal for years then switched to 40 mgs of Geodon for 1 year and now I am titrating down on my own initiative to .375 mg of Riseridal every day.  I hope to get to .300mgs at the end of December but it is so hard to cut the pills right to know how many miligrams you are taking.  My withdrawl is significant but because it is a low dose reduction it isn't severe.  I was angry a lot on Geodon but because Risperidal is a heavier sedative I can take less than I did before durring this switch from a more stimulating and anger inducing antispsychotic which is Ziprasidone (Geodone) for me.  Thanks for listening.  Have a great day.  If you have any questions let me know.

[Kiasofia]

Welcome @MarkDavid

I'm so sorry for all you have gone through due to these horrible drugs, but relieved you have found us. This forum is run by others like you who have been through and survived, or are surviving, the negative effects of psychiatric drugs. I read your other post, and it is great that you understand the importance of a slow taper and have learned about making a liquid to taper. Perhaps you have seen this?

Tips for tapering off risperidone (Risperdal)

How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Is Risperdal the only drug you are taking now?

 

So it’s easy for anyone reading your posts to get a quick overview of your situation we ask members to summarize their medication history in a signature following these instructions:

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

I found this post helpful to understand how these drugs actually work, why a slow taper is important and why healing can take time:

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

Pay close attention to withdrawal symptoms while tapering. And stop tapering and allow symptoms to settle before continuing.

What is withdrawal syndrome?

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

About tapering:

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

NEVER SKIP DOSES TO TAPER

 

The lower doses are harder to taper than higher doses. This explains why: 

Why taper? Importance of gradual change in plasma concentration

 

Aside from a high quality fish oil and magnesium, be careful with supplements. Your central nervous system (CNS) has become sensitized from psychiatric drug use and can react unpredictably. Alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and other mind altering substances can make the condition worse.

Important topics about tests, supplements, treatments, diet

 

Here is our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover. 

Symptoms and self care topics

 

This is your Introductory topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  If you need any advice specific to you and your situation, please ask it here. Otherwise, feel free to join discussions on other threads. To make sure I or someone sees your question, tag them by writing @ and then start typing their username. A drop down menu will appear. Click on their username and it will turn blue.

 

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Kiasofia

[MarkDavid]

@Kiasofia Thank you so much for all of these tips on a gradual drug withdrawl.  And your encouragements are so kind.  I appreciate you and also appreciate how you understand what I am going through.  I also take Lamictal 100mgs x 2day.  Gabapentin 800mgs X 3day and Vistaril50mgs at night as well as a beta-blocker Metoprolo X 2 day.  These other psych meds I am sure are helping with my Risperidal (Risperidone) withdrawl.  I am doing so amazing well with this withdrawl so far.  But I am going to read everything you have linked for me because I want to know what I am up against.  I do belive it will be much harder to titrate down at the lower doses. Part of the reason for this is because I am so dependent on the medication now that my brain has changed.  I am so use to the amount of sleep I get.  But I have been getting great sleep for the past 12 days even going down 25%.  But I am not expecting it to be so easy at the lower doses.  I don't think it is time to go down any more for awhile.  I'm so thankful that the adjustment has been realativly easy compared to how hard it was before.  I think it was because I was taking an inferior drug, Geodon, and that Risperidal is much more powerful and has longer half lifes.  Anyway thanks again Kiasofia and I am going right now to all your links.  I'm grateful for you.  Please feel free to comment at any time. it's so nice to have support.

[ChessieCat]

  

27 minutes ago, MarkDavid said:

I am tapering off Risperidone from .5mgs to .325mgs as of yesterday.

I was taking .375mgs for 12 days prior.  If you guys know anyone who,

like this man here, has gotten off Risperidone please give me a link.

Appreciate you all.

 

List of links for a searches for risperidone and Risperdal in the Success Stories forum:

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/search/?q=Risperidone &quick=1&type=forums_topic&nodes=28

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/search/?q=Risperdal &quick=1&type=forums_topic&nodes=28

[Kiasofia]

I hope the links are helpful. A common statement is "if I had only known...." So learning as much as possible is key. You will find info about tapering the other drugs and also alternative methods of tapering (like micro tapering and the brassmonkey slide method) in our tapering topic.

 

Make sure to create a drug signature for further guidance. Especially showing what drugs you currently take and when you have reduced  Risperidone.

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

It's so good that you have joined this forum!

[ChessieCat]

  MarkDavid posted in the Why Taper? topic:

 

5 hours ago, MarkDavid said:

I just wanted to add that I wonder if going on Seroquel at a very low dose is easier to detox from than risperidone.  Does anyone know which anti-psychotic is easiest to withdrawal from?

 

[Kiasofia]

It is highly individual, and different factors can play in. Switching drugs is risky. It can trigger withdrawal from the one drug and add side effects of the new one. The brain also gets sensitized from stopping and starting drugs and this can cause an adverse reaction. So switching to a different drug for an easier taper should only be done as a last resort.

 

As this post explains, it's not a matter of detoxing.

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

[MarkDavid]

HOLDING STEADY AT AROUND .3 MGS OF RISPERDAL

 

Lamictal 100 x 2 day

Gabapentin 800 x 2 day

Risperdal .299mgs 

Hydroxazine (Vistiril) 50mgs 

Metoprolol 50mgs (Very helpful for heart issues during anti-psychotic withdrawal.

 

So I have been trying to take .25 mgs of Risperdal, which is half my usual anti-psychotic dose.

It has been a bit over three weeks and In the first two weeks I was stabalizing at .375 mgs

But now at night I try to take only .25 and I have a feeling of intensity, like while in bed I want

to jump up and run a marathon.  It feels like there is all this excessive energy in my body being

chemically held back by my dose.  So I get out of bed and shave about .05 mgs off of a pill

and then I am able to sleep.  My tongue has been going crazy in my mouth rubbing up against my

teeth in a repeditive chronic manner.  But that calms down when about an hour after taking my nightime

dose of Risperidone.  I pace a lot and constantly want to move around but it is subdued by the crucifying

power of the cross of Christ.  I am in the Holy Spirit alot because I preach the gospel to myself.  And there is

power in the blood of Christ so that I my withdrawal affects are minimal.  I can sleep, I am not totally depressed,

I feel 95% non anxious, I don't have any feelings of vomiting.  But my vision is blurred.   And at some moments

I feel unstable.  Like I am capable of anything.  And that can be more than unsettling.  I have experienced homicidal

thoughts for the first time while on and comming off the half lifes of the anti-psychotics.  I use to be able to take zyprexa 

or Seroquel for a few days and then come off no problem.  But this is different.  I have been on anti-psychotics for half

a decade now.  I feel like so much power is comming back into my body and that the lights are slowly and dimly getting a 

bit brighter.  It gives me hope.  I have a good father who takes care of me.  By faith in the God man Jesus Christ and in

his death burial and resurrection for ALL my sins there is power to do all things.  I have the same power that raised Christ

from the dead in this mortal fleshly body.  And it is strengthened and protected from withdrawal.

[Kiasofia]

Hi @MarkDavid

When did you reduce Gabapentin from 800mgs X 3 to Gabapentin 800mgs X 2? When did you start taking Metoprolol?

 

It sounds like the last reduction has been too big. For how long did you take .333 risperdal? How did you feel at that dose compared to now? How long have you been taking .25?

 

Are you using a scale to get the right dose? It is very important with consistent doses at this point.

Tips for tapering off risperidone (Risperdal)

 

Please update your signature with this information.

 

Your journey off risperdal needs to happen very slowly. Going off antipsychotics can trigger psychotic symptoms, if done too quickly. I'm glad to hear you are able to sleep.

Edited December 19, 2021 by Kiasofia
Added question

[MarkDavid]

@Kiasofia

Hi there. Thanks for the questions.  I will have to add metoprolol to my signature.

But I have been taking it since 2016  for a heart repair surgury.

But it also helps with mental health stuff as it reduces anxiety.

I know a psychiatrist who is perscribing propanalol for anxiety disorders.

I guess beta-blockers are good for anxiety for some people.

I still take Gabapentin 800mgs x 3 a day I must have made a mistake.

My brain is healing.  And I really would like a scale for Christmas if anyone is

willing to buy me one.  Otherwise I will have to wait until I get a job to order one

on Amazon.  I know the lower doses of anti-psychotic I take that the slower I need to go.

So I will stay at .25 when I get there for a long while at least 2-3 months and then begin at

some point to taper again.  However it is a very impercise thing to try and cut this uncuttable

pill to get an exact amount.  I am glad I see my psychiatrist on the 27th of December.  I am not

telling him what I am doing because I don't want him to make any sudden moves.  You know how

volitile and jumppy these medical people can be.  But I am going to be deceptive with him and tell

me to give me, please, .25mgs x 2 a day.  So that I can hang out at .25 for a long while.  But I will need

to shave a little off of the other .25 to sleep.  I am trying for .25 and I know that seems too fast to you.

And it is for me too because I can't sleep.  So I go back every night and shave a little bit off the other splitted

half and quarters of pills to get to sleep.  But like I said it is hard to measure and I don't have a scale.

[Kiasofia]

18 hours ago, MarkDavid said:

I am trying for .25 and I know that seems too fast to you.

And it is for me too because I can't sleep. 

The most important is to listen to your body and monitor for withdrawal symptoms. Maintaining sleep is very important, so if you find that a slightly higher dose is needed to be able to sleep, then it might be better to raise the dose to that level for now.

 

Risperdal comes in a liquid, form which is easier for making small cuts.

 

 

19 hours ago, MarkDavid said:

So I will stay at .25 when I get there

So what dose are you on now? .315?

[MarkDavid]

@Kiasofia

I took about .315mgs last night.

It is so hard to get the dosing right.

So I am going to call the pharmacy and see

if my insurance will pay for the Risperdal in

liquid form.  Give me a few minutes ...

 

My pharmacy said I can call my insurance provider to see

if they will cover the Risperidone in liquid form

But they don't have it in stock.  They will have to order it.

 

I am mostly peaceful in the day.

But I am having a hard time dealing with any amount of distress

I don't feel motivated to do much but I have felt that way for 5 years now.

Sleeping is still excellent.  So I am not going down to fast.  However sometimes

I have had to go back to the split pill and split some more off to get to sleep a few nights.

I'm comfortable between .275 - .325 right now.  It's taken me more than 3 1/2 weeks to 

feel comfortable down from .5  But I know I will have chronic, unrelenting insomnia if I try

to push it eve .075 mgs any lower right now.  My brain has to adjust and regrow its neural chemisty

at this level before I can cut any more off. 

The 3 1/2 weeks of acute withdrawal I sometimes felt unstable but they were fleeting moments.

The truth is the drug has done so much damage to my brain that I can't remember most of the last

3 1/2 weeks but I know there was pain and anxiety.  I just can't remember it very well.

My memory is so bad that I will grab the phone to go charge it but once I get in the other room

and grab my phone I just stick it in my pocket.  I forget why I walked in the other room to obtain 

my phone.  My whole day is like that.  It takes a force of my will to do organizing tasks that catagorically 

I don't have the motivation to do.  In other words.  I don't have the desire to organize or plan things out.

My attention span is that of a gnat.  But I am comfortable with all that and know that God is taking care of

me and reducing my withdrawal symptoms by about 90 - 92%.  

It's as if the power of the resurrection of Christ from the dead is taking away the power of the withdrawal.  

I don't understand exactly what is happening.  But I feel empowered and helped. Ephesians 1: 19-20

"And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working

of his mighty power, Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at 

his own right hand in the heavenly places, ..."

 

Now let me call my insurance and see if they will pay for the liquid Risperdal 

       ...

They do cover liquid Risperdal 1mg.

Can you guys tell me how to cut it???? PLease....

 

Also I almost drank yesterday praise God.

I'm an alcoholic and I am early in recovery, about 82 days.

And I felt very self-consious at the store and distracted.

I know it is from comming down .20 mgs from about a month

ago.  So I really do need to stay where I am and let my brain heal.

The best thing I can do is try to split the pill in half right now and 

take the bigger half.  So I am at about .3 and holding.

We will see. God is in control and I a look away to the crucified Christ.

 

 

[Kiasofia]

1 hour ago, MarkDavid said:

They do cover liquid Risperdal 1mg

That is great!  I haven't gotten liquid from a pharmacy myself, but I think it comes with a syringe. If not ask for a syringe that lets you measure the needed dose.

 

1 hour ago, MarkDavid said:

So I really do need to stay where I am and let my brain heal.

Yes, please do. Slow and steady wins this race.

[MarkDavid]

I'm so glad I decided to stay around .300 a few days ago because I am finding it hard to concentrate, and feel motivated and to follow through on anything organizational.

However I feel totally comfortable in my own skin apart from an occassional bout with heart arrhythmias that I picked up durring my Geodon days, which were just a few

short weeks ago.  So I am currently at .300 down from Geodon 40 mgs and Risperdal .5mgs or more 40 to .375.  So this is going to be a record of what happened to me 

if I want to go back and look.  I know my mom from being on Seroquel for years has a very hard time thinking of more than one thing and one task at a time.  So I wonder if

this is going to be permanent.  But I am willing to wait it out and see all the way through for the next 5 years.  Which they say it takes 5 to get back to 90% of who you once were.

But I feel very comfortable now at .300 bodily but my mind is over the moon right now.  Thank you @Kiasofia and Astarala  for all your support and you too @ChessieCat

[Kiasofia]

1 hour ago, MarkDavid said:

But I feel very comfortable now at .300 bodily

That is good to hear.

 

1 hour ago, MarkDavid said:

but my mind is over the moon right now. 

What do you mean by this?

 

Since you stopped Geodon 40mgs in November 2021 it is probably best to keep holding at your current Risperdal dose for a few months. So your body and brain gets used to the switch to Risperdal. (If I understood correctly? For some reason I thought the switch from Geodon to Risperdal was further back in time.)

[MarkDavid]

Thanks for the advice about the Geodon to Risperdal switch and holding for a few months.  

I have an appointment the day after tomorrow and I am dreading it.  Because I have to be dishonest

with my psychiatrist or I am guessing he may give me the wrong prescription.  Before I continue I want

to address your question @Kiasofia   I think I was exagerrating a bit about my mind being over the moon.

It was not too much different than it always is, spacey (but I've gotten use to it.) and distractable.  I was just

noticing it more.  I am not in any kind of psychotic delusion.  When I talk about Jesus Christ I am talking about

someone whom I have believed in for over 35 years.  It's not a new delusion of gradure or anything.  It is just

the faith of the son of God.  

Ok so I don't want to go to my psychiatrist because I have to ask for .25 mgs x 2 a day in order to get the dosing

more precise on my titrations.   And he may resist and give me only a one .5 mg Risperdal.  And that will be harder 

for me to cut I think.  He has been cooperative before in giving me a .5 and a .25 at the same time, so .75 mgs a day

dosage.  However  if he catches wind of what I am doing, I think he may try to stop me in my tracks.

I don't know and I don't feel I can risk it.  But maybe I am wrong.  I just don't trust these doctors anymore.  If they are willing

to put me on a brain damaging drug rather than give me a simple benzodiazepine then the trust is over. PERIOD.

They especially have to know what they are doing because they watch it happen every day.  So they are of all men the most 

contemptable; even though some of them are trying their best.  And people do need psych meds.  I did.  But this is barbaric,

this class of drug.  It damages a person for a life time.  And, well, it is no fun to get exercise and diet advice every time I am

on the phone with the psychiatrist.  Because I know how to exercise and I know how to eat right.  I learned that in 3rd grade.

I think that trying to take Risperidone and not eat is like trying to take a laxative and not **** (poo). It's just going to happen.  So then

we get blamed for our fatness because we don't know how to exercise.  I actually feel like someone strapped a 45 lb weight 

to my back and then gave me three sleeping pills and go asked me to take a walk an hour and a half latter.  You are just not

going to want to walk for very long with 50lbs on your back and feeling tired all the time.  So between the out of control hunger

and the lethargy, you gain a bit of weight.  And I mean like 20% of your body mass.  No big deal! Right?  Because at least you have

a reminder every appointment by your psychiatrist on how to eat and exercise.  And that should take care of it.  That will do the trick.

I am 6'1" and I was 175lbs in high school and even until I was in my late 20's  And because of psych meds (and alcoholism) I am now 265.  But I must

have forgotten how to eat and exercise.  Oops.  Well thank God for the psychiatrist, because really it must be me. And ok maybe the psych meds

do cause memory problems.  Maybe I do need a lesson in nutrition every 2 months.  I can see now the error of my ways.  I was expecting to 

have a long term memory.  So now I see how vital these nutrition lessons are.  I was ignorant but now I see the light. Thank you Mr. Psychiatrist.

I'm afraid if I don't listen to the nutrition and exercise indoctrinations then I might not get my prescriptions just right.  And who wants the authorities

to take away your drug supply when you are so dependent.  It's scary to want to piss anybody off in authority.  And maybe my psychiatrist could have worked on that issue with me instead of brain damaging me every 2 months.  But that is the way we do it in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave.

 

PS  I am not going to ask for the liquid yet.  I wont to that until I have got about a 2 month supply of extra .25mg pills in my stockpile.  That way I will know it is time to titrate again and if anything goes wrong I can get a new psychiatrist and will be able to live off my .25mg pill supply until I get another appointment.  I don't trust this liquid medicine yet because I have never had dealings with it before and I don't want to get stuck naked out in the wind. 

[Kiasofia]

"Over the moon" can mean very happy, but I didn't get the impression that is what you meant. It is good you have something that gives you strength through this difficult process.

 

I understand your nervous about your appointment. Many find they cannot be honest with their doctor/psychiatrist, unfortunately. Sometimes it is possible to say that you would like to taper to a lower dose (not quit),because you are feeling well and lower doses have less side effects (like weight gain and low energy) . We have this thread about it:

 

How to talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal? What to expect?

 

I also understand your frustration. It is very cruel to give people a drug that makes them have little energy and put on a lot of weight and then lecture them on nutrition and exercise! I hope your appointment goes as well as it can. Stay calm, is the most important thing.

[ladgma]

Hello:

I have read your thread and what you said "There is power in the blood of Christ" really struck me. I think our beliefs or faith or thoughts on this will see us through this. I am tapering off Geodon now for just three months. 

I was wondering how your doctor appt went. 

[MarkDavid]

@ladgma

 

Thank you for asking about my appointment.  It went well. I just accepted that my psychiatrist has certain beliefs based on assumptions and that he can not truly know how difficult it is to exercise on Risperdal. However at the lower doses I am taking now my pace is picking up and I think my posture is improving.  I said a little prayer for help.  And I turned out to be very honest.  Although not all together forthcomming.

I told him I take no more than .5mgs of Risperdal a day.  And the truth is I was down to around .25 a day.  So he did what I wanted him to and gave me .25 x 2 a day.  But now I only take one.  I will see how tonight goes.  If I can't sleep then I will shave off a piece of the other .25 I was taking .310 -.325 for about 10 or 15 days.  But I just took .25 last night and slept well.  However because of how the blood serum concentrations are the half life from yesterday may make me sleepless because of the deficit in change.   

 

Yes I really do feel the presence of the Lord.  I preach the gospel to myself every day, because it is a pleasure and it keeps me safe.  I remind myself of who I am in Christ and that nothing I do can interfere with his love for me.  There is no ammount of sin or any kind of sin or how long I sin that will keep him aloof from me.  He loves me dearly and radically and the more I preach these truths to myself the freer I get and I truely feel the power of the Holy Spirit helping me along here, there and everywhere.  The power is in the good news.  If I could lose my salvation then it isn't good news.  The battle is for  the mind because the spirit has been one.  I am a captive to the Lord and one spirit with him according to the scriptures.  Now my whole life revolves arround remembering who I am in him so the devil can't steal my joy and nobody can steal my crown through vain philosophy of mankind and darkened understanding.  I have the truth and it is by Jesus Christ in the holy ghost.  And it is a big threat to the devil.  Just look at how I am sharing the solid rock and soul anchoring truths with you.  I bet is bringing you joy to know that nobody can steal your salvation from you but they can take our joy sometimes.  But be of good comfort he has overcome the world and you have been transfered out of the kingdom of darkness and into his marvelous light.  This is the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ that gives life from the spirit and strength to the mortal flesh.  Have a great night. 

 

I was on 40mgs Geodon for a year.  I've been on anti-psychotics every day since 2017.

 

Edited December 30, 2021 by ChessieCat
reformatted and added spacing

[ladgma]

I am glad the appt went ok.

Yeah I don't tell my doc the truth about the taper as he said I could get off it in one week by doing one every other day for a week which I had initially tried but that led to bad insomnia. I am just trying to maintain a civil relationship with him until I get enough of my meds to complete the taper. 

Are you saying the taper has had an effect on your exercise? 

I am doing some low impact aerobics and weights that is not to taxing. 

We can never lose our salvation. 

Take care. 

[MarkDavid]

@ladgma

Hi, yes the withdrawal does affect the amount of energy I have to exercise and also the motivation to exercise.

It's like walking through mud sometimes.  Although there are windows where I have a lot of energy to do stuff

around the house and even dance.  But those windows come and go and I can't predict them.  I do get up and

pace normally but some days I couldn't even find the motivation to do that.  So my leg is restless and shakes 

under the desk while I sit at the computer screen.  I am holding steady at .25 for the last three nights and I am

so thankful that God has allowed me to reduce at this time.  I also am in post acute withdrawal from active alcoholism.

By the grace of God and by the word of God I am 91 days sober today.  And I am so thankful for the body of Christ 

continually pointing Jesus to me as my source.  Living waters flow from my belly as I remember who I am in Jesus Christ

and all the benefits I have because of his everlasting unfailing love for me.  I am part of the household of God and Jesus

isn't ashamed to call me brother.  All this unmerited favor is so good.  And it will never change. OSAS

[MarkDavid]

UPDATE

So I relapsed on Alcohol on New Years Eve.  

I had 91 days of sobriety.

Drank for 24 hours straight 

Now I have about 6 days.

I am still taking only .25mgs of Risperdal

a night however I can feel my energy steadily rise

and I am feeling more and more of my emotions.

Stress, anxiety, depression, sadness, excitement, energy.

It increases weekly significantly.  That is another indication to

me that you have to let your body catch up by tapering very slowly.

So now I have to deal with my post acute withdrawal from my kindling

of alcoholism.  I have quit so many times that I practically almost die to

get sober again. LITTERALY but thank God it was only one 24 hour period.

Anyway hope you are all doing well.  Wanted to keep you updated.  Maybe

if I hadn't have withdrawn by half my does in 5 weeks I wouldn't have drank again.

But what do I know.  By the way...Christian's arn't behaviorally perfect we are just forgiven.  Ball's in your court.  Consider this a page for liars....because we love you too.

 

[MarkDavid]

I have been at .25mgs for about 3 weeks.  And I am surprised that sometimes I can't sleep my normal cycle, but I forget that I drank

and that is a result of kindling.  Alcoholic kindling is no joke.  But by the grace of God I was only drinking for 24 hours and not for days.

So whatever I write from here until I get 30 days could be a result of drinking withdrawal or Risperdal withdrawal.

But the truth is, is that I get 8 hours a night minimum.  That is the one, and probably only one, thing positive about anti-psychotics

is that you get to sleep more on some of them.  I guess also it helped me to drink less and less often.  That might be another positive.

Well I don't want brain damage and diabetes.  And that is something that seems unavoidable at some point.  So if you are a prescriber.

Please I beg you to tell your patient to go out and get heroin rather than put them on a drug like this.  It is so dehumanizing.

So I have akathesia, but very mild compared to what I've seen on the internet.

 

Something important to note is that there is a widow of about 19 hours after I take my last dose that I start to feel more wild and unstable.

Like I'm more capable of impulsive or violent behavior between 20 - 24 hours after my last dose.  You know all of this is fun and games and 

theoretical until someone gets hurt.  Then they will take us more seriously.. . Ooops I was wrong again!  They will always blame a mental 

illness or behavior problem not the drug that caused the problem.  I forgot they are higher and better than us and know more than us because

they have a degree.  Well thermometers have degrees and I know where I'd like to stick one of them.  Anyway I digress.  So I never use to have

violent thoughts like this until after I started taking anti-psychotics.  The most seductive and perilous thing about it is, is that you don't know just

how unstable and violent you can be, (for me in my mind mostly so far) until you start to withdrawal from these brain damaging drugs.

 

I don't have a mind like other people's any more.  I can't think from one moment to the next what I have done and with what was it I was doing it

with.  That is very abnormal.  My short term is shot.  I hope that one day my brain will heal from that.  The best thing I can do is to look away to Christ.

And sure, it's important to have compassion on the medical profession, they are special kind of victims also.  Poor people.  Imagine the psychic debt they

have to live with every day or try to suppress.  So I don't want to bag on them too badly.  But it is also important for us to have a place to vent and sound

like little girl dogs in heat.  We need an outlet and a place for victims.  You know I was a part of a cult that said  "There are no victims, only volunteers."  What a crock of butter.

I wish they would let us cuss here.  We already are being raped of our voices with these drugs.  Why take away the words we can remember and we all understand.

Anyway I'm on a jag and a terror right now.  Sorry moderators.  You are greatly appreciated. (because you help a lot of people.) And thank you psychiatrist for the many good years on benzos before

you brain damaged us.  

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I ve read ur thread. I am sorry for everything you are going through from these damn drugs. I am suffering beyond words can describe but ur post made me laugh … thank you , I haven’t laughed for over 14 months…. Since my last dose of Zoloft …. My doctor suggested an antipsychotic to help me deal with the damage Zoloft did to my brain …. Only few weeks and still suffering. She thinks antipsychotics can help … reading ur post makes me think this twice. I used to pray to Jesus a lot since I was a little girl. Kind of loosing my faith during this torture but then it’s all I have left … faith and hope…. If I do completely loose faith and hope I am left with nothing …. I hope He will listen one day to our prayers…. We were hurt beyond words can explain from a drug our doctors prescribed…. It is only fair that He listens and helps us…. Wondering why he is taking so long 

[MarkDavid]

@JesusSavemefromWD

You are suffering so much more than me at this time and I care about you and I will pray for you.

I am so glad that I made you laugh.  Laughter is good medicine and a good sign.  I hope you will

turn a corner soon and get a real positive widow.  People don't realize how harsh and powerful

these drugs are on our brains.  If you want more funny stuff I have a link to a dear brother in

Christ who is hilarious.  I hope you find him funny too, but if not that's ok too. The link is on YouTube

so it is totally safe.  

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

7 minutes ago, MarkDavid said:

@JesusSavemefromWD

You are suffering so much more than me at this time and I care about you and I will pray for you.

I am so glad that I made you laugh.  Laughter is good medicine and a good sign.  I hope you will

turn a corner soon and get a real positive widow.  People don't realize how harsh and powerful

these drugs are on our brains.  If you want more funny stuff I have a link to a dear brother in

Christ who is hilarious.  I hope you find him funny too, but if not that's ok too. The link is on YouTube

so it is totally safe.  

 

Thanks …. It is just hard for me to accept so much suffering for so long after such a short exposure…. Stay strong, ur faith will save u …. Thanks again 

[MarkDavid]

Hi everyone.  After my detox down to .25mgs from .5 in only one or two months I had a horrible

relapse in my alcoholism.  And I drank on and off for about a month.

I am happy to say I have 10 days of sobriety today.  I also used meth.  But my mind is still healing

from the anti-psychotic in spite of all the extra chemicals I put in the way.  I am amazed that my thinking

is getting more complex and I think I am becoming a little more interested in reading again.  I know on 

Zyprexa I couldn't even read a couple of paragraphs.  But on Risperdal I could read.  But I am wanting

to read more and enjoying what I read and comprehending it better I do believe.  And believe me my

alcoholism is hell.  So to be improving mentally even through other chemical abuse, shows me how 

powerful these anti-psychotics are to reduce and shrink the brain.  My mom's brain has shrunk and I 

can't help but believe that it was partly caused by the Abilify, Seroquel, and Risperidone that she took

during her lifetime. She can't think of more than one thing at a time.  And she has little motivation to

pay bills and organize her affairs, which I totally understand.  Doing complex tasks seems impossible to

me still.  Like I want to get my real I.D. in my country but all the steps still baffle me and I don't know where

to start or how to continue.  I hope your all doing well.  Maybe I should have tapered more slowly and I wouldn't

have relapsed on street drugs and alcohol.  But I am happy that my bodily functions are returning to normal.  For 

example and I don't want to gross you out, but this is science.  My bodily fluids look like they use to.  The drop in

prolactin has helped my testosterone to return.