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spence: 3.5 years of withdrawal hell. Does it get better? Need help


spence

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Hey all, first post here. I am so glad to have discovered this site. For 3.5 years I’m sitting here wondering what’s wrong with me and why doctors keep telling me it’s all in my head (I KNOW I’m not fabricating this stuff) only to discover my symptoms are legitimate, validated and real. And shared by many other fellow survivors. I spent many years feeling alone and hopeless. Not anymore. 

 

So yeah, I was on very high doses of a hormone that has anti-depressant effects for 6-7 years. After coming off 3.5 years ago, my cognition/ concentration/ brain function and memory were destroyed. No energy, have severe insomnia, tinnitus, anxiety. Live in constant brain fog, derealization/depersonalization, had to quit school, work, lost friends and relationships… basically stopped living. Don’t recognize myself or my life anymore, let alone friends and family. My naturally outgoing, extrovert, colorful and comedic personality became dry, flat, apathetic, anhedonic, agoraphobic, introverted, recluse. I feel brain dead. And dead, in general. 

 

Also noticed extreme sensitivities to foods (usually high histamine/fermented/high fodmap) which could send my brain on a trip equivalent to LSD. I have tried everything but nothing really works. What worked last month doesn’t this month. There’s 0 stability. I find I’m sensitive to most supplements. Currently on a decent regime- including fish oil and magnesium.

 

I went to so many doctors (to no avail). They put me on various ADs (which I think made everything worse.) Couldn’t stay on more than a few months. But I find myself torn. Seems that when I’m on them, I want to be off. And when I’m not on them, I want to be on. It’s like I have 0 capacity for decision making and executing functioning. I’m currently tapering off Zoloft. I don’t know what else to do anymore…

 

So 3+ years like this with very little improvement. I need help. I don’t know what to do, where to go, where to turn. I feel completely lost. I had goals for my life and now I consider it a success if I get out of bed and make food. Tell me. Does it ever get any better? Or is this just my life now? Is there hope for me? Should I go back on ADs or try and heal without them? Please help me. I need to hear a success story. Thanks for reading and for your advice. I value it so much. Blessings.

 

 

 

Edited by Kiasofia
Reduced font

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to spence: 3.5 years of withdrawal hell. Does it get better? Need help
  • Moderator

Welcome @spence

I am sorry you are going through this and are suffering, but relieved you have found us. It is hard to know if what you are suffering now is withdrawal or side effects of Zoloft or both. What was the name of the hormone you quit 3.5 years ago? How have you been tapering Zoloft? Have you been feeling any better or worse since starting the taper?

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

About tapering:

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

NEVER SKIP DOSES TO TAPER

Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft)

 

Are you taking any other medications or supplements?

 

To help us better advise you, can you please create a signature with all of the drugs that you are taking and have been taking in the last couple of years following these instructions:

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Becoming sensitive to foods and supplements after starting and stopping psychiatric drugs is common. Aside from a high quality fish oil and magnesium, we advise being careful with supplements. Your central nervous system (CNS) has become sensitized and can react unpredictably. Alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and other mind altering substances can make the condition worse.

Important topics about tests, supplements, treatments, diet

 

Here is our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms. 

Symptoms and self care topics

 

This is your Introductory topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here.

Edited by Kiasofia

These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I have learned, not medical advice.

 

Drug history

2002-2019 Citalopram/Escitalopram, Lamictal
2019 April Escitalopram, quit at 10mg (withdrawal), Oct Escitalopram 10mg reinstated, quit after a few days (adverse reaction)

2019 Oct Lamictal cut from 200mg to 100mg
2019 Dec Lithium 83x2 mg

2020 Aug-Nov Lamictal tapered to 50 mg

2020 Nov 24 Lithium taper started, 30 Jan off Lithium

2021 15. March-31. May Lamictal tapered to 32.5 mg (holding)

2022 10. Jan started taking 25mg+5mg+2mg+0.5 liquid, 22. Jan went back to taking 25mg+5mg+half 5mg

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Hi Kiasofia thank you for your response and resources. The name of the hormone was Cytomel. I have been off since June 2018. The doctor I was working with told me I did not need to taper and that I could just hop right off. Boy was he wrong. 6 years of use at high doses, I should’ve absolutely taken a good year or two to come off. Anyway, since coming off abruptly I have been experiencing these symptoms. Doctors tried me on Zoloft to rectify them, to no avail. I was only on zoloft for about 6 months in 2020 and 3 months in 2021 (currently tapering down). The reason i went back on was to give it a shot at a more therapeutic dose as my first go around I only tried 25mg. This time I went up to 75 and stayed there for a while, and cognition and depression was much worse. I came back down to 25, where I am now, and have been doing way better, but still the symptoms persist. I know they aren’t caused by zoloft, but can be made worse. I don’t know what it will be like coming off, if I will get better or worse. Thank you so much for reading and for your help. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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  • Moderator

Why did you stop taking Cytomel? Why was it not reinstated when you got worse? How long have you been on 25mg Zoloft? If Zoloft didn't help, and even made you worse, than trying other ADs is of little point. Starting and stopping psychiatric drugs is bad for the central nervous system (CNS). Each time we start and stop it becomes more and more sensitized. The risk of a bad reaction to restarting the drug or starting other drugs or supplements increases.

 

Please take the time to learn about a slow taper so you do not add Zoloft withdrawal to your symptoms.

 

I found this post helpful to understand why a slow taper is important and why healing takes time:

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

When we recover, there are times of feeling OK mixed in with times of feeling bad.  This is called windows and waves.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

The search function on this site doesn't work very well.  The best way to search this site for specific information is to use your favorite search engine. Type in survivingantidepressants.org then the symptom, treatment, supplement or information you wish to search for. You can perhaps find others with cytomel experience. We also have a success stories section.

 

So it’s easy for anyone reading your posts to get a quick overview of your situation we ask members to summarize their medication history in a signature following these instructions:

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

If you need any advice specific to you and your situation, please ask it here in your introductory topic. Otherwise, feel free to join discussions on other threads. To make sure I or someone sees your question, tag them by writing @ and then start typing their username. A drop down menu will appear. Click on their username and it will turn blue.

 

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Edited by Kiasofia

These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I have learned, not medical advice.

 

Drug history

2002-2019 Citalopram/Escitalopram, Lamictal
2019 April Escitalopram, quit at 10mg (withdrawal), Oct Escitalopram 10mg reinstated, quit after a few days (adverse reaction)

2019 Oct Lamictal cut from 200mg to 100mg
2019 Dec Lithium 83x2 mg

2020 Aug-Nov Lamictal tapered to 50 mg

2020 Nov 24 Lithium taper started, 30 Jan off Lithium

2021 15. March-31. May Lamictal tapered to 32.5 mg (holding)

2022 10. Jan started taking 25mg+5mg+2mg+0.5 liquid, 22. Jan went back to taking 25mg+5mg+half 5mg

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi @spence there's a section of sucess stories only .. did u see it?

off all medications

>    OLANZAPINE (ZYPREXA)

07/21 10mg      08/21 20mg       09/21 15 mg        10/21 10mg then 5mg

11/01/21 off Olanzapine

>    SERTRALINE (ZOLOFT)

08/21 100mg        09/21 supposedly 150mg as prescribed, 200mg as a mistake for a while

10/21 100mg        11/21 50mg
12/11/21 off Sertraline

>    LITHIUM
07/21 300mg (1 pill)        08/21 600mg        09/21 900mg (stabilized in blood tests)

10/21, 11/21, 12/21, 01/22 tapered off in the course of 2 weeks

02/22 off Lithium

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Yes thank you I found it. @BelaLugosi

@KiasofiaI stopped the cytomel because I was taking it for bodybuilding purposes and I wanted to come off it and away from that life and lead a drug free, natural life. 

Thank you for the links 😊

 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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  • 2 months later...
Posted (edited)

Insomnia woes, immune to sleep aids, please help

 

 

I’m sitting here awake at 3am with the dreaded withdrawal insomnia. I’ve been off zoloft for about 2 months now and the sleep has steadily declined and taken my cognition and memory and appetite and functionality with it. All sane, rational thought is out the window. I feel psychotic. Irritable. Delusional. Highly paranoid. I accused someone of awful things because in my delusion and paranoia, he did them. I can’t work, cant have much of a social life, cant go to school, or do much because of the crushing fatigue yet inability to get any restful sleep. I’m not sure the point of living when I already feel dead. 😔 It’s difficult to sleep because for one, listening to the sound of my own tinnitus has been nothing short of torment. I must be very sound sensitive because wakes me up at night and it’s all I hear. I spend at least a few hours every night fiddling with my white noise to make it mask the ringing, which it isn’t doing very effectively. Because even frequencies in the white noise machine, irritate me. I also wonder if I’m having auditory hallucinations and hearing phantom noises. I don’t know. I also can’t sleep with people in the house. (Thank God I pretty much live alone). It’s like my body knows someone is in the other room, and the resulting anxiety keeps me awake and on edge. So, lots of things contributing to the insomnia. 
 

Anyway thanks for letting me share my current 3-4am woes. :) My actual question is this. Ive heard it said we are more sensitive in withdrawal. I’m not sure if this is the case with me because supplements don’t actually do anything for me. Nothing works. How come supplements don’t work on me? Tried melatonin and all the go-to recommended sleep methods. I’ve exhausted myself of supplements and no one really knows what to do with me anymore. It’s as if my body is resistant to help and immune to healing. I take fish oil and magnesium and all the recommended things. I’ve tried everything from Valerian root to glycine to delta 8 and not one of them can resolve my insomnia. All the things people recommended that were “miracles” for them do nothing for me. It’s either supplements don’t work, or they send me into some manic drug-like “trip”/brain fog. Most of the time they don’t work though. I’m starting to feel hopeless. 


So what are my options? Every day it gets harder and harder to go on. Yet I don’t see the purpose of reinstating when the point is weaning and withdrawal. I’m lost and could use guidance. Thank you for reading and letting me share. And for your input. Also, I hope this is coherent—my brain on no sleep. 🤪
 

Edited by Shep
added title after moving from 2nd Intro thread and merging here

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to spence: Insomnia woes, immune to sleep aids, please help
  • Administrator

@spencePlease note I moved your last post and merged it here with your original introduction topic.

 

Please continue posting here in this thread so all of your information is in one place.

 

2 hours ago, spence said:

Tried melatonin and all the go-to recommended sleep methods. I’ve exhausted myself of supplements and no one really knows what to do with me anymore. It’s as if my body is resistant to help and immune to healing. I take fish oil and magnesium and all the recommended things. I’ve tried everything from Valerian root to glycine to delta 8 and not one of them can resolve my insomnia.

 

The only supplements we recommend are magnesium and fish oil. Valerian root can be problematic because you can develop a similar dependency as with benzos (sleeping pills). Delta 8 and other marijuana products can be unpredictable for people going through withdrawal. Some find it helpful, others find it harmful. Here are other members' experiences:

 

 Cannabis, marijuana, hashish, THC, & CBD (cannabidiol) or Hemp oil

 

Melatonin should be taken in very small amounts. You may be experiencing paradoxical reactions by taking too much. Start with 0.25mg-0.50mg melatonin for 3-4 days and see how you do. The first post in this thread explains the best way to take it:

 

Melatonin for sleep

 

The problem with trying to fix the insomnia with too many supplements or a single supplement at too high a dose is it can cause a paradoxical reaction, meaning instead of getting sleepy, you feel anxious and wired. The more you dampen down the nervous system, the more it fights to stay alert. This is the paradoxical reaction. 

 

 

3 hours ago, spence said:

I’ve been off zoloft for about 2 months now and the sleep has steadily declined and taken my cognition and memory and appetite and functionality with it.

 

It's possible you'll benefit from a small reinstatement. Please read at least the first posts of both of these threads so you'll be familiar with the reinstatement process. 

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms


Tips for tapering off sertraline (Zoloft)

 

Before giving targeted advice, we really need to know your complete drug history. Please set up a drug signature. Here is how: 

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Account - Settings - Create or Update Your Signature

 

Once we know your complete history, we can help you decide if a reinstatement is right and how to do a slow and careful taper. It's possible reinstating a tiny amount of the drug will resolve some of the symptoms and help you get some much needed sleep. 

 

 

 

 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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  • 2 months later...
Posted (edited)

Prescription Vitamin D (for deficiency) making me worse

 

Hey guys,

Thank you for reading and for your insights and help. Couple months ago, my blood panel showed a Vitamin D deficiency at level 18 I believe (memory is so bad right now). I was prescribed 50,000 iu weekly, and I've been on that regime for about 2 months now. However in this time, I've gotten significantly worse. Brain fog, derealization/depersonalization, dissociation, etc. is at an all time high. Memory is the worst it's ever been. Apathy, anhedonia, etc. I am feeling more cognitively useless than ever. Finding it hard to even type this out, so bear with me if my sentences don't make sense. I also noticed when I take the pill, like clockwork, I have a meltdown right after. Moods, depression, anxiety, it all just comes flooding in and cripples me on the day I take the pill. This happens like clockwork. I first noticed this around week 2. Before vitamin D treatment, my moods were stabilizing remarkably well. The reason I hung on for this long is because I thought maybe it needed some time to adjust and that it would get better with time. It didn't. I am not sure what to do. Technically, the deficiency should be corrected. But the treatment is killing me. I just can't continue. My Dr. also wants me to stop. Thoughts? Has anyone experienced this? Thank you. 

Edited by Shep
added title of post after merging from second intro thread.

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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  • Administrator

@spenceI moved your post and placed it here in your intro thread. Please continue to post here so all of your information is in one place.

 

Yes, vitamin D can cause problems for some people going through withdrawal, especially at that high a dose.

 

Vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol or calcitriol)

 

It's still not to late to reinstate.

 

On 3/1/2022 at 4:08 AM, spence said:

Yet I don’t see the purpose of reinstating when the point is weaning and withdrawal.

 

The point is to be as functional as possible. This post may help:

 

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain

 

The goal of reinstating is to soften withdrawal symptoms by adding in a tiny amount of the drug (much less than the amount you were on in January).

 

You may want to re-read your thread for the information on reinstating and the reasons. If you decide not to reinstate, I wouldn't add in more supplements. Going from supplement to supplement doesn't seem to be working for you and may be making your recovery a lot longer and harder than necessary.

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Thank you Shep for your reply. I stopped the meds as I didn't feel I was receiving any real benefits. Or if I was, they were outweighed by the sides and it wasn't worth it. It was hard to tell, but I almost feel no different being off them, maybe a bit better in some regards. Some of these supplements I'm on now, are helping me function. Rhodiola, Ginkgo, ALCAR, some others. I tried coming off, and I'd say it was surprisingly worse than coming off the SSRIs in terms of memory loss and brain fog! (SSRIs never did much for my brain fog or memory, I don't recall really). It's relieving to know the Vitamin D is known to cause issues, and I'm not an isolated case here. I will stop it and hopefully return to the more functioning state that I was at before them. Thank you. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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Posted (edited)

When they say “talk to your Dr”….

 

Forgive me, I don’t know where this post belongs or how to make it show up in my own threads but I think the mods will be able to move it. 

I don’t like it when people say “well have you talked to your doctor about it?” Yes, and I got gaslighted. I got belittled. I got told it’s all in my head. I got shoved more medications. Referred to others. Shuffled around the medical block like a pawn. Talking to doctors is how I got here in the first place!

 

It blows my mind that when I present my symptoms to doctors, and ask if these are possible withdrawals from the SSRIs (knowing full well they are), they respond with the above. It blows my mind that they dispense these meds without fully realizing the side effects/withdrawals and the way they can ruin lives. Even denying it! Do they realize there’s an entire community of us struggling together and fighting through the hell they dispensed to us in pill form? I’m not saying doctors are evil. Please don’t misread me. I just think they only know what they’ve studied in text books and we are not text book cases. Far from it. Naturally, they won’t know what to do. We’re not a page in a textbook, pieces of paper, or lab work ups. We’re human beings. If only they could see us that way. 
 

But I don’t fault doctors. I think I just fault the system for politicizing something so precious as our health and well-being. I grew up believing the chemical imbalance thing only to learn recently it’s more myth than fact. I’ve also learned recently how psychiatry and the pharmaceutical industry (not isolated to psych meds) is less about health and more about power and control. It disturbs me and angers me to think that precious human beings become test subjects and experiments for elitest power. (Doctors can be victims of the system too.) If you want to talk about societal injustice, let’s start there. 
 

So no… as Ive learned, I will not be asking my doctor anymore. The one who assisted in getting me into this mess and denies the consequences? No thanks.

 

“First, do no harm.” 


Thanks for reading, family. :) 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, spence said:

I don’t like it when people say “well have you talked to your doctor about it?”

 

I would like to clarify something here because members might have seen a staff member post stating that SA is not able to continue assisting a particular member.  The SA staff do, at times, say this to a member, or tell a member that they will need to work with their doctor.  This is because the staff are unpaid peers who want to help people but we have limited resources; including time and energy.   BUT please note that the above statements are only made if the member has been getting information from SA and their doctor and choose to follow their doctor's advice which sometimes makes them worse but they keep following it anyway.  The SA staff is only small and the site is very busy with a large number of members wanting/needing assistance.  If a member continues to keep following their doctor's advice then the staff need to tell that member that we are no longer able to provide them with our assistance, because we cannot continue to keep digging them out of a hole that they have partially allowed themselves to get into in the first place.  Please note that this is only done as an absolute last resort and we don't like having to do it, but we also have to look after ourselves and give our assistance to the members who want our help; it is NOT "do it SA's way or else", it is simply being practical and using the staff's time and energy in a wise manner.  The staff only do this after trying our best and with "round table" discussion about that particular situation.

 

1 hour ago, spence said:

I just think they only know what they’ve studied in text books

 

I don't think they have learned about the drugs from text books but from pharmaceutical companies and if it is from text books then it is possibly (I think most probably) information from the drug companies.  Gwen Olsen was a pharma rep for 15 years and has written a book about her experiences in that job and also her personal experience and a relative's experience (niece I think) with psychiatric drugs.  There are 3 video which are worth watching linked below.  What I have learned from this, SA and other things on the internet have made me very cautious about what non-psychiatric drugs a doctor suggests I take.  There have been about 5 drugs that I have refused to take after researching them and thankfully before taking them.

 

Interview:  Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher (51 minutes Gwen Olsen - ex pharmaceutical representative)
 
 
1 hour ago, spence said:

Naturally, they won’t know what to do. We’re not a page in a textbook, pieces of paper, or lab work ups. We’re human beings.

 

Exactly and each person's situation is unique.  Altostrata uses the term "we are all an experiment where N=1".

 

1 hour ago, spence said:

I grew up believing the chemical imbalance thing only to learn recently it’s more myth than fact.

 

The chemical imbalance "thing" was a theory.  It was debunked several decades ago but there are many medical professionals who still hold to it, including the psychologist (non prescriber - had to give her letter to a doctor to get the drug) who told me back in 2012, so only 10 years ago, that I needed to be on an AD for life like a diabetic needs insulin.  Utter rubbish.  After 25+ years of being on an AD, I did a 6 year taper following SA's guidelines and have successfully been off for 6 months.

 

1 hour ago, spence said:

I’ve also learned recently how psychiatry and the pharmaceutical industry (not isolated to psych meds) is less about health and more about power and control.

 

Pharmaceutical companies are massive enterprises with a huge number of shareholders.  They need to make a large profit to keep the shareholders happy.  I don't think that (just like politicians) they want to help people altruistically but to line their own pockets.  And that goes for many/majority of doctors, who get benefits from pharmaceutical companies for the prescriptions that they write for drugs that that company manufactures.

 

But for some people power and control might be the or one of the benefit/s that they gain from it.

 

 

Q:  Have you seen these topics?

 

The WORST of doctors thread...statements that defy belief

 

Lalochezia! The cursing thread

 

Edited by ChessieCat

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I've just been listening to a Dr Ken Berry video on cholesterol and heard this.  It will start at the point where I think you might be interested to learn about why doctors prescribe:

 

https://youtu.be/0ThdGEAnCS8

 

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Posted (edited)

Am I getting better or is it all in my head?

 

Another post I’m not sure where it belongs. So I can’t really tell if I’m getting better or if it’s all in my head. It’s really hard, as so many of you know, to distinguish what is real and what is delusion in this brain fogged/derealized/depersonalized state. 

1) SUPPLEMENTS. A couple years ago, I couldn’t tolerate certain herbs and supplements. They wouldn’t just increase brain fog/DP/DR, they’d send me into this wild LSD-trip-like state and I was basically out of commission for the day until it wore off. Well I’m able to tolerate a ton more supplements. Not all, but a significant amount more. 
 

2) FOODS. I used to get severe brain fog after eating ANYTHING. Now, I can eat and not go into a fog. My tolerance seems to have increased. I remember I couldn’t eat oatmeal at all. Now, I eat it every morning. Things like pickles, I can eat a bit of. Some cheeses. Whole grains. Veggies. I have not yet tried very fermented foods because in the past they (foods, drinks, probiotics, etc) would send me into outer space. 🤣( I seem okay with Greek yogurt. Not perfect). 
 

3) SATIETY. Another thing I noticed is that I can feel satiety now whereas before, I could eat and never get full. 
 

4) MOODS. My moods used to be extremely dysfunctional. I had severe depression, crying spells, rage, emotional outbursts, extreme irritability, etc. All of it was worsened by lack of sleep. Now, I seem way more even tempered and controlled. Even on days I don’t sleep well (frequent) I am still able to be emotionally functional (not to be mistaken with cognitively functional). I am still irritable at times, and still get crying spells at times, but it doesn’t dominate my life and control me in the way it used to. I took a very important meeting the other day on 3 hours of sleep and I was very proud of myself! 
 

5) LIBIDO. Before, I had no sex drive and no ability to even climax/orgasm. Now I have noticed more interest in sex and my sex drive wanting to show up. I am also able to have a full orgasm. My drive is not as strong as it was before ADs, but it’s not as broken and damaged and dull as it was in early recovery. Not sure if this is because I have lowered my carbs and increased my fat intake. But I’m super happy my drive is showing up again! 
 

6) EXERCISE. In the past, exercise used to increase brain fog. I can’t really say if much has changed but I am able to do 10 minutes of cardio without losing my cognition. Also, weight lifting seems to increase my mood and clarity. (Can’t say it had this effect on me before.) 

 

7) SLEEP. Unfortunately, sleep is still disturbed. Which is the remarkable thing about all of this. The amount of healing I’ve been able to achieve with such poor sleep gives me a positive perspective about my recovery. 
 

8 ) TINNITUS/NOISE SENSITIVITY. Not much improvement here. Maybe a bit with the sensitivity, but I think certain herbs/supps are helping with that. 
 

9) BRAIN FOG/DP/DR. No improvement, but gotten worse. I was seeing improvements until I took high dose vitamin D as prescribed for my deficiency. Ever since that, my cognition/memory has been in the toilet (more than before.) 
 

What are your thoughts? I see improvements in some areas, but I’m wondering when this nasty brain fog/DP/DR will lift. It’s crippling me. A friend recommended Biofeedback and said it changed his life. He was on Trazadone for 5 years and has been off a couple years. He noted more mental clarity after Biofeedback. Is it something that could benefit me? I know everyone is different. But I’m desperate to be well again. Thanks for your thoughts. 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment

Hi @spence

This is such great news! Thank you for sharing your update and listing your many improvements. It really lifts my spirits and gives me hope! I'm happy for you. 

 

9 hours ago, spence said:

What are your thoughts? I see improvements in some areas, but I’m wondering when this nasty brain fog/DP/DR will lift. It’s crippling me.

 

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It's a major challenge for me, too. 

 

I'd suggest being very careful with negative self-talk such as "It's crippling me." These sorts of statements can have a powerful effect on us and, at worst, reinforce detrimental reaction patterns.

An alternative to this could be telling yourself, "I am healing with every breath," or "It is getting better all the time," or some other positive, true, affirmation.

It can also help to practice Acknowledge - Accept - Float 

 

You have the right idea when you write:

9 hours ago, spence said:

I am still irritable at times, and still get crying spells at times, but it doesn’t dominate my life and control me in the way it used to. I took a very important meeting the other day on 3 hours of sleep and I was very proud of myself! 

9 hours ago, spence said:

The amount of healing I’ve been able to achieve with such poor sleep gives me a positive perspective about my recovery. 

 

YES!! Now that's the way to talk to yourself. 

 

Back to the DP/DR and brain fog issue.

Even though your tolerance for supplements, etc. has generally improved, you might consider giving your body a rest for a while (although pay close attention to any supplements that may need to be tapered gradually). Same goes for other possible stressors. Just because you can handle more now (which you rightfully celebrate as markers of healing), doesn't mean you should. There is the option to take the win and (continue to) lay low.

It sounds like it might be beneficial to take steps to facilitate stabilizing. Be mindful about anything and everything that might rock the boat. 

You are living with a sensitized, destabilized nervous system (and possibly autonomic dysregulation?), and it takes time to heal. Your brain, body, all systems are working very hard at healing and keeping you alive at the same time -- they need time and good conditions to do their job.  

 

Another thing -- TIME. That is to say: PATIENCE. 

You wrote in your intro that you'd been dealing with this for 3.5 years. That was in December, so I guess now it's 4 years that you've been experiencing withdrawal. At the same time, based on your drug signature, you've only been entirely free of meds since January 2022, so about 5-6 months. In the scheme of things that's not a long time when it comes to recovery from withdrawal syndrome. 

 

I know that it can feel so, so long. Especially when we're struggling or in a wave it can feel impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

But you are LIVING PROOF that it does get better! You have just written out a long list where 6 out of 9 points describe significant improvements! That's fabulous! 

You have already come so far, and you are noticing great results. Healing is happening all the time, even when we do not consciously feel it. 

 

Last but not least, I'm curious which non-drug coping techniques you find helpful. Do you have any favorites? 

I love this thread about acceptance and often revisit it. 

 

Thanks again for sharing your update, spence. It is so encouraging and brings me joy. You've helped me today!

Best of luck to you on your healing journey,

A. 

 

 

 

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

Link to comment

@spence

 

P.S.

What is the difference between biofeedback and neurofeedback?

Have you tried searching the site for other members' experiences?

Have you seen these?

 

 

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...

Update & Neurofeedback

 

I haven’t posted here in a while but wanted to give an update. A few months ago I started neurofeedback after it was recommended to me by a close friend. I did the Qeeg which showed my brain to be a mess. The treatment plan seemed clear and we had a direction. After 30 sessions and over $3k, I can say I’ve only seen a noticeable difference in mood, concentration and brain fog. So it DID work. But ever so slightly. I took a break and the results didn’t really stick well. But they said I’d need upwards of 60 sessions. I was hoping it would assist with sleep but it actually did the opposite. It has completely obliterated my sleep and worsened my problems tenfold, and I was already having issues to begin with. 

 

So I did something drastic- I’ve been fasting the last couple days which enabled me 8-9 hours of sleep, straight. I haven’t had this in years. It was great. But then a session of NFB disrupted that the next day. Fasting also seems to have exacerbated my DPDR. Hopefully that’ll change. It truly seems like there is no help or hope for me. I seem resistant to any treatment whatsoever. 
 

i also wanted to caution anyone using supplements. I think our bodies are too sensitive right now. Your supplements may be causing some of your symptoms that you mistake for withdrawal symptoms. So you add more supplements. But They can cause insomnia and brain fog. I’m now all natural except for 2 herbs, basic vitamin, fish oil, melatonin and magnesium. My sleep is deeper and longer at times but it’s hard to say really since NFB keeps screwing with it. 
 

Back to NFB. The benefits I’ve seen (and I have HAVE seen them!) I’m not sure outweigh the negatives (poor sleep). I’m tired of tweaking the protocol and being promised “results in 5 more sessions”. I was hoping it would touch my dpdr but if it can’t even help my sleep and do what it was promised it’d do, I’m starting to lose hope for the dpdr altogether. It truly is the most disturbing symptom of all. I was only on meds for 1.5 years straight in total. But I’ve been this way for 4 years now going on 5. How sad. Well, I’ll figure out what to do, whether I stop NFB or continue and tweak. It’s just a lot of money, and it’s discouraging. But I’ll figure it out. Just wanted to update. Hope everyone is good. Keep going. Hopefully one of us will have success soon. 


NFB pros: 

-better control of moods, thoughts, concepts, words

-no more crying spells or anger fits 

-better concentration 

-allowed me to come off of all supplements 

 

cons:

-much worsened sleep 

 

current brain post 30 sessions of NFB: 

-still unable to feel and connect to self, others and world around me (dpdr) 

-apathy and anhedonia persist (can’t cry, and even when I do cry, it feels robotic and I feel like I should be crying way more) 

-still poor retention (I ask questions but almost never remember people’s answers) 

-hard to track conversations since I can’t remember the previous 

-hard to build relationships since I can’t track the development of a friendship (best friends feel like strangers I’m meeting for the first time or like characters in an dream) 

 

that’s all for now. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment
  • spence changed the title to Update & Neurofeedback
  • Moderator Emeritus

Please post of your experience here:

 

neurofeedback-brain-mapping-and-neurostimulation

 

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

I did thank you Chessie. 
 

im at a loss and I’m hoping someone can read this and chime in because I feel really hopeless. I don’t think my posts get seen at all. Which makes me feel more isolated. 
 

im sad that I’m not responding to any kind of treatment and I’m not sure what to do from here. It truly feels hopeless. The things that people swear helps and heals, for me it does just the opposite. It harms and hurts and makes me worse. My dpdr and cognitive issues and memory problems makes me angry, frustrated, self loathing, ashamed and really sad. I’ve tried counseling and therapy with numerous different people but no one seems to understand. I end up having to do more explaining and defending than just sharing, because they have no clue what I’m talking about or how to help me. I got invited to go to Europe for the trip of a lifetime which I had to turn down because I’m not sleeping. I’m missing out on life and living and that depressed me severely. I can’t feel, I can’t experience, I live in this prison where I’m trapped in myself and every day it grows dimmer and dimmer, sadder and sadder, angrier and angrier. I have moments where my hope Is renewed. When the shutters of my prison open and the light comes through. Then they close again and I’m back to the anger and depression and darkness. 
 

im tired of being this way. I’m also tired of trying to fight. Live. Survive. Go on. It’s too disturbing where I live. Going back on meds is not an option for me because they never helped Me only made me worse. Like I said nothing absolutely nothing helps. Tried different diets. Tried fasting. Tried neurofeedback. Tried supplements. Nothing. It’s like I’m resistant to healing. 
 

what do I do? Where do I go from here because at this point I need convincing to stay alive. Somebody please respond. Anybody. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment

Can anyone please answer and help me. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment

Hey @spencei know you’re hurting buddy.  I’m right there with you. Not a mod, but I believe that the only option for you at this point is to stop trying things and just let the body do its thing.  Sounds you’ve tried a lot and nothing has helped anyway, so why keep making things worse. Now, this is funny coming from me as this morning I felt HORRIBLE with intense intrusive thoughts among other things, and was thinking what can I do, what can I take, what should I do, what should I do, what can I do, and on and on.  According to IFS, this is the protector part of us trying to fix things, which makes perfect sense.
 

I’ve tried a few supplements myself with horrible results, Ashwaganda and Concentrace, namely.  So ya, no more supplements for me. 


I hope it gets better for you soon!

1997-2006 - Prozac 20mg

2006-2015 - Lexapro 15mg, Klonopin .5mg PRN

2015 - Paxil | 2016 - Remeron 30mg | Mar 2017 - Lexapro 7.5mg, Kpin .5mg |July 2017 - Pristiq 50mg, Kpin 1mg

Oct 2017 - Celexa 20mg, Kpin .5mg | Feb 2018 - celexa 20mg, Kpin to Valium 7.5mg 

April 2018 - rapid taper of Celexa and Valium leading to crash

May 2018 -  Aug  2019 - Fluoxetine 15 mg, Valium 3.5mg

Aug 2019 -April 2020 - Micro liquid taper off 3.5mg valium end April 6 2020. Liquid Fluoxetine 12mg per day

May 2020 - Nov 2021 -   liquid fluoxetine 12mg per day.

Dec 2021 10mg Prozac Capsule | May 24 2022 - 9.5mg | July 1 9.2mg | Aug 14 9.0mg | Aug 30 8.9mg

*Zero alcohol since July 2020. 

Link to comment

PS - it sounds like you are having windows and waves which is a promising thing.  
 

pps - taking walks seem to help me.  Meditation daily seems to make some difference.  Maybe fish oil helps me, not sure, I still take it daily.  Magnesium may or may not help, I can’t say as I don’t take it consistently but when I do it doesn’t make a difference. You won’t hear any other suggestions here for supps.  There are tons of links to non drug coping techniques which I’ve also had mixed results with.  The worse the symptom the less they help me personally but I keep trying.  

1997-2006 - Prozac 20mg

2006-2015 - Lexapro 15mg, Klonopin .5mg PRN

2015 - Paxil | 2016 - Remeron 30mg | Mar 2017 - Lexapro 7.5mg, Kpin .5mg |July 2017 - Pristiq 50mg, Kpin 1mg

Oct 2017 - Celexa 20mg, Kpin .5mg | Feb 2018 - celexa 20mg, Kpin to Valium 7.5mg 

April 2018 - rapid taper of Celexa and Valium leading to crash

May 2018 -  Aug  2019 - Fluoxetine 15 mg, Valium 3.5mg

Aug 2019 -April 2020 - Micro liquid taper off 3.5mg valium end April 6 2020. Liquid Fluoxetine 12mg per day

May 2020 - Nov 2021 -   liquid fluoxetine 12mg per day.

Dec 2021 10mg Prozac Capsule | May 24 2022 - 9.5mg | July 1 9.2mg | Aug 14 9.0mg | Aug 30 8.9mg

*Zero alcohol since July 2020. 

Link to comment

Thanks @methuselah. Your response might've just saved me. I just needed to know there's someone out there. The pain is severe today. Thats why. So thanks. You're right about the part of us that wants to fix. It's hard to sit back and just accept the pain. You're also right that it seems the worse the symptoms the more resistant to supplements and help and I wonder if thats because our bodies are just so dysregulated that they dont even have the tools right now to handle supplements and put them to good use. Maybe thats why it just makes us feel worse? Did you have dpdr? Will that go away on its own? Will my cognition and memory get better? Its so terrible living like this.

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment

@methuselahI even tried fasting because people suggested it to "reset" my body and it made the DPDR 10x worse and I have yet to pull myself out of it and restore to the lesser DPDR. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment

I have Mostly DR, not so much DP.  I have a lot of symptoms and I don’t want to go thru the lot of them with you bc I don’t want to trigger you.  I’m not off meds yet but everyone here says these things, including DR and poor memory, go away so we have to take their word for it and keep pushing thru.

 

listen to some mooji and Alan watts on YouTube.  That can also help some.  Just keep trying things like that and see if any help, even a little….no more drugs and no more supplements I’d say, at least for me.

 

i fast every day from about 8pm to noon next day.  I don’t think it’s doing anything, also, my appetite is bad so I’m not eating much anyway.  It just sorta works out that way. 

1997-2006 - Prozac 20mg

2006-2015 - Lexapro 15mg, Klonopin .5mg PRN

2015 - Paxil | 2016 - Remeron 30mg | Mar 2017 - Lexapro 7.5mg, Kpin .5mg |July 2017 - Pristiq 50mg, Kpin 1mg

Oct 2017 - Celexa 20mg, Kpin .5mg | Feb 2018 - celexa 20mg, Kpin to Valium 7.5mg 

April 2018 - rapid taper of Celexa and Valium leading to crash

May 2018 -  Aug  2019 - Fluoxetine 15 mg, Valium 3.5mg

Aug 2019 -April 2020 - Micro liquid taper off 3.5mg valium end April 6 2020. Liquid Fluoxetine 12mg per day

May 2020 - Nov 2021 -   liquid fluoxetine 12mg per day.

Dec 2021 10mg Prozac Capsule | May 24 2022 - 9.5mg | July 1 9.2mg | Aug 14 9.0mg | Aug 30 8.9mg

*Zero alcohol since July 2020. 

Link to comment

Last thing . You tried a bunch of these drugs in a short period and came off the last, Zoloft on Dec 2021, while it seems like a lifetime, it hasn’t been that long since then.  Keep fighting!

1997-2006 - Prozac 20mg

2006-2015 - Lexapro 15mg, Klonopin .5mg PRN

2015 - Paxil | 2016 - Remeron 30mg | Mar 2017 - Lexapro 7.5mg, Kpin .5mg |July 2017 - Pristiq 50mg, Kpin 1mg

Oct 2017 - Celexa 20mg, Kpin .5mg | Feb 2018 - celexa 20mg, Kpin to Valium 7.5mg 

April 2018 - rapid taper of Celexa and Valium leading to crash

May 2018 -  Aug  2019 - Fluoxetine 15 mg, Valium 3.5mg

Aug 2019 -April 2020 - Micro liquid taper off 3.5mg valium end April 6 2020. Liquid Fluoxetine 12mg per day

May 2020 - Nov 2021 -   liquid fluoxetine 12mg per day.

Dec 2021 10mg Prozac Capsule | May 24 2022 - 9.5mg | July 1 9.2mg | Aug 14 9.0mg | Aug 30 8.9mg

*Zero alcohol since July 2020. 

Link to comment

@methuselahthank you so much I will look those channels up. yes, no more supplements for me too. I was on so many and decided to come off all of them and see where my body is at and let it heal naturally. my fast was 58 hours I was shooting for 72 but the dpdr got so bad. how can you tell the difference between dp and dr? like how do you know you have one or the other? I feel so lost in my head that I cant discern anything. my timeline is a weird, because I've had this symptoms for 4 years and went back on meds to try to fix it but they only made it worse. I didn't know at the time that the meds had caused it. so while its only been 9 months off meds in total, I've been struggling with the symptoms for 4 years. your right it feels like I lifetime. but ill keep fighting and hope for my healing. do you ever feel shame because of the dpdr, or severely insecure especially around people. the insecurity is crippling and crushing around people I used to be extrovert now I am so insecure, that ill say something wrong, or that I won't track the conversation, or that they'll figure out that my brain is messed up, or that ill come off socially awkward. I have lots of fear and shame from the dpdr. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment

The DR isn’t that bad for me, inhabe other things that are more bothersome to me person.  I hope it gets better for you. 

1997-2006 - Prozac 20mg

2006-2015 - Lexapro 15mg, Klonopin .5mg PRN

2015 - Paxil | 2016 - Remeron 30mg | Mar 2017 - Lexapro 7.5mg, Kpin .5mg |July 2017 - Pristiq 50mg, Kpin 1mg

Oct 2017 - Celexa 20mg, Kpin .5mg | Feb 2018 - celexa 20mg, Kpin to Valium 7.5mg 

April 2018 - rapid taper of Celexa and Valium leading to crash

May 2018 -  Aug  2019 - Fluoxetine 15 mg, Valium 3.5mg

Aug 2019 -April 2020 - Micro liquid taper off 3.5mg valium end April 6 2020. Liquid Fluoxetine 12mg per day

May 2020 - Nov 2021 -   liquid fluoxetine 12mg per day.

Dec 2021 10mg Prozac Capsule | May 24 2022 - 9.5mg | July 1 9.2mg | Aug 14 9.0mg | Aug 30 8.9mg

*Zero alcohol since July 2020. 

Link to comment

I know that no one is going to read this, but I just need to vent. I'm at a cross roads and I don't know what to do (aside from stopping supplements which I already have). It's about neurofeedback. I'm living with such regret having just wasted thousands of dollars trying to fix myself with something that now I'm realizing made me worse. It absolutely annihilated my sleep. Which has further ruined my cognition. It also improves my cognition, but the alertness it brings further degrades my sleep. I live in a horrible vicious cycle and obviously I'm realizing today that I just can't continue neurofeedback anymore unless this new sleep protocol works. But why would it? The other protocols that were supposed to help with sleep, paradoxically made it worse. I have absolutely no memory anymore. I thought it was bad prior to NFB, wow. Now it's totally non existence. I don't feel alive anymore. Now I live with this horrible regret. On top of the regret of taking antidepressants. I dont know how much longer I can do this. 

January 2020 - August 2020... Zoloft 25 mg

May 2020 - August 2020... Wellbutrin 200 mg

June 2021 - July 2021... Tried Lamotrigine, Vyvanse, Straterra (not all together)

July 2021 - September 2021... Trintellix 

September 2021 - December 2021... Zoloft (25, 50, tapered down)

January 2022... free of all meds 

 

Poor memory, trying my best with the dates. 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Unfortunately, time is what brings healing. And it can take a long time. Activities such as gentle walks in the sun, stretching or yoga, mindfulness, exploring art and music, and eating healthy with plenty of protein and little sugar and eliminating caffeine and alcohol can all help. But it still takes a long time.

 

For most people, the less you try to fix withdrawal, the more you give your nervous system time to recover without bombarding it with things that tend to make it worse. For ideas that many of us have found helpful, see:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Tips to help sleep: so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

 

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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