Comfyquilt: Hello - issues with Benzos and new med

[Comfyquilt]

Hi,

 

thank you for having me. I began taking Ativan in 2018 for panic. I took it for 3 months PRN. Once I stopped the terror started. I wound up the in the ER where I was sent on my merry way with a bag full of Zopiclone and told that they would make me feel better. They did not. I got increasingly worse, over the Zopiclone period. I then saw a new doctor who diagnosed me with benzo withdrawal. He put me on 5mgs of Valium. I tapered this very slowly over the course of 10 months. It was a great success and I felt very good. I got down to 0.25mgs and stayed at that dose for 18 months as i was scared of the jump, and just needed to be able to take care of my kids. Nov 12 2021 I had a huge setback to my recovery and was basically thrown into acute. It was awful and so scary for me given I had done that before. I wasn’t sleeping or eating. I was becoming obsessed with my withdrawal. I had never up-dosed once in my taper and it was promise I made to myself when I started this journey. I did end up updosing a few times (this is in my signature). When I CT’d in 2018 my worst symptom was this horrible fear that I would hurt my family, I’ve never felt that before, I would never act on it but it was always there. I also did not feel like myself and spent days and weeks trying to find her. These feelings started in November again. Updosing made no difference and the terror continued for me. I am now trying to hold at 1mg of Valium to see if it helps at all (so far it feels like nothing).  My doctor has prescribed pregabalin to try to help me cope. I will say it did work at 300mgs but I felt totally drunk and sleepy. I took this dose twice - so total usage 600mgs. I don’t want to be on such high of a dose, but now because of the above experience I am terrified I will withdrawal if I don’t taper correctly, so I need to taper after 2 times? I haven’t decided yet if I am ready to commit to another drug, but I am scared. Thank you for reading 

[ChessieCat]

Hi ComfyQuilt and welcome to SA,

 

I'm just welcoming you and getting you started off and another mod will follow up soon.  They have more knowledge with benzos.

 

Please create your drug signature following these instructions:

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 

This is your own Introduction topic.  Each member has only ONE Introduction topic.  Your Introduction topic is the best place to ask questions and where you journal your progress.  This keeps your history in one place an means you don't have to repeat your story.

 

Please update your drug signature whenever you make a change.

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

As ChessieCat said welcome to SA, you've come to the right place for help.

 

I see that the dr has put you on Pregabalin, however, you've only taken it a very short time. I would say it is safe to stop taking it. 

 

As far as the Valium, you have gone up and down on the dose quite a bit and your body has become confused. Valium stays in your system up to 200 hours, which makes it very easy to build up in your system.

 

If you could, do you think you could try taking 1 mg Valium once a day, at the same time everyday and see how it affects you?

 

Can you also post 24 hour notes for a few days and we can see how you are doing? You can post it like this:

 

Keep notes on paper about your daily symptom pattern and drug dosing

 

Are your symptoms worse at any particular times of day? A symptom pattern that occurs regularly over several days could mean the symptoms are from withdrawal, other adverse effects of drugs, or something else you do on a daily schedule.

 

In the course of discussion in your Introductions forum topic, you may be asked to keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, including when you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms. We ask this because there may be something we can do to reduce the symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every single day over several days is what symptoms you get before and after you take your drugs. If you're not taking any drugs and have withdrawal symptoms, we still need to see your symptom pattern throughout the day:

 

The time of day, dosage, and severity of symptoms are essential information. Include

 

- Time and dosage for all drugs taken throughout the day, psychiatric and non-psychiatric.

- Following each dose, note any symptoms. If you are having a reaction to the drug, it may take hours for a symptom to show up -- that's why we ask you to keep notes all day long.

- If you're not taking any drugs, your symptoms throughout the day.

- Your sleep pattern. Since so many drugs disturb sleep, if you find you're waking in the middle of the night, it could be from a drug you took earlier in the evening. If you're not taking any drugs, there may be ways you can improve your sleep.

And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, looking something like this:
 

Example:

DATE:

 

6 a.m. Woke with anxiety
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Stomach is upset
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Feel a bit better
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Feeling dizzy
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke but got back to sleep

 

An appointments diary is perfect for this and can be bought at stationery stores. They have a page for each day with times for appointments which can be filled in with doses, symptoms etc as shown above. Or, you can copy and paste from a cell phone app -- but make sure the result is easily readable.

 

Please do not use spreadsheets, they are difficult to read online and some of us don't have Microsoft Excel to look at them. 

*If using a Google doc spreadsheet,  please copy over or transfer those daily notes, into a reply box in your Introduction topic.

 

 

 

Let me know if you have any questions. 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

Edited December 17, 2021 by Frogie

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethank you very much I was nervous about WD from pregabalin so I took 200mgs over the course of the day yesterday as I wasn’t sure if I needed to trirate off. I do not like how it makes me feel so it’s ok stop? I will keep a log today. Thank you 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

Yes it is ok to quit taking the pregabalin as you have only taken it a couple of days so you are not dependent on it yet. 

 

Thanks for keeping the notes for a few days and reporting back. 

 

Then we can get you on track for healing. Hang in there.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethank you. I was worried as my CNS is pretty fragile at this point. I am hoping to stabilize at 1mg of Valium but at this point it doesn’t feel like it’s doing much. It’s just such a bummer as I had such a great taper  I guess I will wait a few weeks to see if I stabalize and go from there. Thank you 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

Please keep the notes for a few days and we can assess your Valium dosage then. Hopefully taking it steady you will stabilize and start feeling better.

 

We will get it figured out soon enough.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

I was just checking on you?

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethank you. I seem to have stabilized on a low dose of Lyrica (not thrilled to add a new med but I was not ok) and the 1mg of Valium. I will be tapering the 1mg slowly and then will taper the Lyrica slowly when the time comes, 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

That's great. Just hold for a while and when the time is right, I'll be happy to help you taper.

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogieyes I had such a nasty reaction to my second Covid vaccine. It was terrifying. I needed help to be able to care for my kids etc. I am sad to start a new medication as I worked so so hard to taper my Valium to 0.25mgs. But I was not ok. I am reading that many who have long haul Covid and long haul issues from the vaccine have symptoms that mimic benzo or AD withdrawal. I am on a low dose of Lyrica and will taper when the time comes I need to stabilize and then will begin. I plan to taper my Valium down to 0.75 on Dec 28 as that will be 10 days on that dose. Thank you 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

Here on SA, we don't  advise anyone to taper more than 10% of their medication every 4-6 weeks. Going to .75 mg of Valium is a 25% decrease which is too quickly.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1024-why-taper-by-10-of-my-dosage/

 

Here is a link on why you should taper only 10% of your dosage.

 

You should probably hold for a month or so since you just reached stability.

 

Can you please add the Lyrica to your drug signature.

 

 

Edited December 20, 2021 by Frogie

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogie thank you so much! I will wait one month then do 10%  

[Frogie]

I would wait at least a month to make sure you are stable.

 

I'm glad you're doing better.

[Comfyquilt]

Hi @Frogie

 

i continued the Lyrica for a week and couldn’t handle it (it made my teeth feel so awful) so I stopped. Totally usage was 7 days. It was very bad the first week after stopping, I could feel no emotions and was waking up drenched in sweat. I have now been off the Lyrica for two weeks and seem to be slowly improving. I know it’s not a good idea to CT but I couldn’t handle it and at only 7 days I figured it was ok. I am still holding at 1mg Valium and will continue for the next month. My sleep is bad so I take some melatonin and sometimes a Unisom

or gravol. Everything get BAD for me without sleep so that is my main focus now. My doctor has prescribed 3.75 mgs of Remeron to help to sleep. I have not taken it as I am worried about my poor old CNS. My mental health is better than the last time I posted and I am seeing a therapist to get out all the feelings. I am supposed to go back to work tomorrow but I think I will wait until I am feeling stronger. Thank you 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

Please don't just stop the Valium. After taking it as long as you have (it only takes 2 weeks) your body has become dependent on it. You will need to taper off of it. But we can certainly help you with that.

 

That was a good choice not to start the Remeron. It would just be another one that you would have to taper off of.

 

Please keep us updated.

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogieoh no I won’t! Sorry I meant I will hold the 1mg for another month so that I am not shocking my CNS. Hopefully my sleep will return normally but for now I will use the OTC stuff as minimally as possible. Thank you 

[Frogie]

Oh good, got nervous for a minute. Glad you were thinking.

 

Very smart idea to only use the OTC sparingly. 

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogie yes - it’s been a bit too much lately but I am struggling so terrribly with sleep which makes all other symptoms unbearable. I see my doctor tomorrow and will ask about what else I can be doing, thank you 

[Frogie]

Your dr will probably want to put you on something else for sleep. Have you tried melatonin? It does help some members here. But take a small amount. Try meditation, turning off your computer/tv an hour or two before bed. A nice hot bath/Epson Salt bath helps also.

 

Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

Melatonin

 

Just be mindful when talking with the dr about this 🙂

 

 

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethabk you - ever since stopping the Lyrica (7 days use total) I seem to have lost my emotions, I feel like the joy has been sucked from my life. What a strange thing. It will be 3 weeks of no Lyrica on Tuesday. I hope this resolves as it’s uncomfortable to feel like this and I don’t know if reinstatement would work? Thank you 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

If you feel you need to reinstate, I would reinstate at a very small dose.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Losing emotions is very common in wd. Here is a link that explains it.

 

Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness

 

Let me know how if I can answer any other questions you may have.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethank you for the kind words. At this far out I have decided not to go back. I will heal as I have before and will choose the path of nourishing my body and CNS in other ways. If it went this badly after one week, I guess I consider myself lucky for not digging a deeper hole. I know that I can heal as I did with my benzo taper and this alone gives me enough hope to push forward. All in time, as they say. Thank you 

[Frogie]

I wish you tons of luck and good wishes.

 

Please keep me posted.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx 

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiehello again - I have some updates and need some help. I think I have recovered from the Lyrica CT. Emotions are back a little and feeling more stable. My doctor has increased my Valium to 3.5 mgs a day - I didn’t want to have to do this but was not ok and it was the right choice for me. I know I can taper it and be ok. He also added Mirtazapine as I hadn’t slept in over 3 weeks. I have now taken the Mirtazapine for 9 nights (7.5 mgs 2 nights and the rest at 3.75 mgs). I would like to stop the Mirtazapine as I think I’m ok without it. Do I just stop? Or is a short taper recommended? Thank you 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

Since you've take the mirtazapine for 9 nights, you are probably ok to just stop it because it is a pretty small dose. If you don't feel comfortable just stopping, you could cut it in 1/2 for a week, then cut that dosage in 1/2 for a week then you should be able to stop it without too many problems.

 

Are you taking the Valium all as 1 dose, or splitting it morning/night?

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogie thank you!!! I just know my poor old CNS is pretty sensitive at this point so I’ll do a short taper. I am taking 2.5 mgs of Valium in the am and 1mg in the PM. I could possibly switch this to get some decent sleep? Thanks again friend 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

I think a short taper would be the way to go. Then you know you won't have as many symptoms, hopefully.

 

I would switch the dosage of Valium, taking more in the evening to sleep better. Valium as you know, is sedating. 

 

How long have you been taking this much and at this time? Just trying to figure out if you need to move the dosage by an hour each day until you get it where you want it, or if you've only taken it a few days, you could just move it to night.

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethank you! I upped the dosage from 1mg to 3.5 on Tuesday, so not long ago. It has allowed me to relax and get some emotions back after the Lyrica. I am functioning which is a welcome relief. I never had tolerance issues with Valium and it always seemed to work well with my body even at a low dose (my p doc said to up it to 20mgs YIKES, and no thanks). The highest I am ever willing to go is 5mgs as I know my body can handle that amount (but hoping not to have to do that!!) 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

I was on 40 mg Valium and up to 4 mg Xanax a day! Crazy, I know.

 

Since you've only been on that dose since Tuesday, I'd go ahead and move to 1 mg in the morning and 2.5 mg an hour or so before bed and see how you do.

 

I'm glad you are feeling better. You sound much better. Great sign🙂

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiewow! I’m so glad you were able to taper that!! Gives me much much hope. I am not in a pit of despair and thinking my life is over so that’s good!! I am up and able to get to appointments etc and feel my baseline anxiety is back (in my case this is a good thing as I was feeling just blank) I am also finally able to feel some happiness and emotions other than nothing so I’ll take it!! I will try switching them around and go from there and get off the mirt!! Sounds like a good plan to me. Thanks again 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

You'll do fine.

 

You have a great attitude and feeling emotions are a wonderful sign!

 

Keep me posted and let me know how you are doing.

[Comfyquilt]

Hi @Frogie well things went a little sideways and my doctor has upped my Valium. It is now 7.5 mgs a day, the relief was immediate. I was able to go about my day normally. I am medium sad about having to taper again, but I needed the mental support at this time as I was going to a dark dark place. I am happy my body still responds to Valium in such a good way and that it worked on the first day. I am taking 2.5 mgs in the am and 5 mgs in the PM. I told him I wouldn’t go above 10mgs - I guess he considers this a “low dose” but I know with benzos there’s really no such thing (learned that the HARD way lol). I guess I should hold this dose for a little while before tapering. I am also glad that during my last taper my GABA receptors did seem to heal to a point where taking benzos again did work and did not become paradoxical - so my theory that healing occurs during tapering does stand true. I am working at getting rid of the Mirtazapine. Taking 3.75 mgs for a few days then will half that for a few days then half again and be done. I do know my CNS is fragile and I can’t do things suddenly or it revolts. Hope you are well too. 

[Frogie]

@Comfyquilt

 

It is a very low dose of Valium. But so sorry you had to up your dose.

 

Once you stabilize, I'mm be happy to help you taper.

[Comfyquilt]

@Frogiethnak you! 

[Frogie]

You are very welcome!