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eileen1111: sertraline cold turkey recovery


eileen1111

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Thank you so much everyone for the amazing replies !! I'm drawing strength from them ❤️ 

 

@Ninabird I do need to let go of time frames. I think this is a key thing to accepting the situation. As long as we try and guess how long we will be 'in' this for, we are probably adding to the fight-or-flight response surrounding how traumatic withdrawal/long term illness can be. But at the same time it feels like the instinctive thing is to try and put down milestones to limp towards... 

In some ways things get tougher the further along you get, because our ableist society does not have the patience required for the kind of complex healing this recovery involves. Patience is key 🔑 

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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@Erimus I was 22 when this started, 23 now, and I sometimes worry that I'll be 25 before this is over and will have spent my early twenties in drug withdrawal... !! but so be it. You're right, we can always go back to education. recovery is worth waiting for. 

 

Something I try to think about and draw comfort from is the fact that if this didn't happen to me now, it would have done eventually - maybe 5 or 10 years down the line when I had even more responsibilities, more to lose. As soon as I was prescribed SSRIs, this withdrawal became something inevitable on my horizon.... 💔

 

I'm really glad to hear you're doing better than 5/6 months ago. If I think back to the first month, I realise that I'm a lot better than that as well. 

 

Btw, if you're in the UK, we have a really good support group which meets every week online, with people at various stages of tapering / WD, it's a great gang !! I'd be able to send you the link.

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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  • Mentor

I have the same thoughts as you many days @eileen1111. I think to myself how old am I going to be when I’m drug free and/or feeling good. I’m 22 next month and I’ve been in this strange SSRI-world for 20 months now. 
 

That’s such a good point you make about this happening eventually. There’s no point in punishing ourselves for taking the medication. At least once we have overcome this we don’t have to go through it again. I feel the same way, if not October 2020 I would’ve ended up on them further down the road.

 

I’d love to join the UK group. The worst thing about this illness is the fact that it’s invisible and people don’t see/feel or understand how bad it is, doctors included. I find myself reading your posts and agreeing with everything you say, you’re much better at conveying how it feels in words than I am haha!

Nothing I say or do is based on medical advice. I make my own choices based on intuition gained through individual research, and a lot of suffering. My intro
CURRENT MEDICATION:

1. Sertraline: 50mg October 2020; 100mg December 2020; 50mg April 2021; 75mg May 2021; 50mg 18 September 2021; big crash 6 December 2021; holding

Current dose: 50mg (Sep 2022)

2. Mirtazapine: 15mg November 2020;

Current dose: 15mg (Sep 2022)

 

PAST MEDICATION

1. Amitriptyline: 20mg Dec 2016 for epigastric pain; 10mg Dec 2017; 0mg Oct 2018 - no withdrawal symp.

 

SUPPLEMENTS: Magnesium Citrate;

LIFESTYLE: No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine

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3 hours ago, eileen1111 said:

I was 22 when this started, 23 now, and I sometimes worry that I'll be 25 before this is over and will have spent my early twenties in drug withdrawal... !! but so be it. You're right, we can always go back to education. recovery is worth waiting for. 

 

Something I try to think about and draw comfort from is the fact that if this didn't happen to me now, it would have done eventually - maybe 5 or 10 years down the line when I had even more responsibilities, more to lose. As soon as I was prescribed SSRIs, this withdrawal became something inevitable on my horizon.... 💔

 

4 minutes ago, Erimus said:

I think to myself how old am I going to be when I’m drug free and/or feeling good. I’m 22 next month and I’ve been in this strange SSRI-world for 20 months now. 
 

That’s such a good point you make about this happening eventually. There’s no point in punishing ourselves for taking the medication. At least once we have overcome this we don’t have to go through it again. I feel the same way, if not October 2020 I would’ve ended up on them further down the road.

 

@eileen1111 @Erimus

 

From the perspective of someone soon to turn 43, it's awesome that you're getting this bit out of the way at your tender age. Your bodies and brains are young, you will heal very well and come out of this stronger, wiser, and with your lives ahead of you. Moreover, you will have learned so many useful transferrable skills that you can apply to every area of your lives moving forward, you will probably have a significant life experience and maturity advantage over your peers. Obviously I wish that none of us ever had to go through this in the first place, but if one must, given the choice of when I'd much rather have gotten it over with in my early 20s than later in mid-life. 

 

I realize it may not feel like this right now, but you're both doing great work, and you will reap the rewards of your efforts. You will get through this and things will be better than you can currently imagine. You will go on to build beautiful, full, vibrant lives for yourselves. 

 

Love,

A.  

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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@Ariel Thank you dear Ariel !!! When I see you active on the forum I always think of Ariel from 'The Tempest' flying to the rescue with your special powers hahaha

 

On 6/7/2022 at 2:50 PM, Ariel said:

You are allowed to not put on a brave face. You are allowed to not keep it together.

 

I am wary of 'burning out' my support system or inducing compassion fatigue in my family. But at the same time, I NEED them so much right now, and if the roles were reversed, I would want them to be completely honest with me so that I knew how to be there for them... 

I also have a tendency to 'people-please', especially when feeling vulnerable, and there's this fear that unless I am being 'easy' and nice they'll all abandon me 😅 Definitely some underlying attachment issues which are being exacerbated by WD

 

I get what you're saying about the 'free pass' thing - there's a kind of all-bets-are-off mindset, in that, things couldn't really get much worse so I might as well try anything and do whatever it takes 

 

On 6/7/2022 at 3:37 PM, Ariel said:

And it's always tricky when it feels like the burden of explanation is on the ill person.

 

It seems in this world that it is always the people to whom misfortune has fallen who end up having to do the emotional labour of explaining and teaching as well as suffering through the original misfortune..... (*sighs*)

 

Thank you for your enduring optimism and insight xx

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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  • Mentor

@eileen1111 Reaching out to see how you are doing?  

I know the days can get long- so a friendly hi❤️ and a hug🤗 hang in there.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/24894-greatful-is-this-withdrawal-or-to-many-med-changes-at-once/

1995? Prozac,  tried several Paxil, Serzone, St John's Wart back to Prozac and Trazodone ct:d Traz

 Lexapro. Tried to stop Crash in 2015  Kindled   Hospitalized, Vybrid, Seroquel, Effexor, Abilify  Pristiq, Wellbutrin-- 2016  ended back on   Prozac and Lamictal 200mg

5/2020  thru 12/2020 taper from 20mg  Prozac  down to 3mg.  Crashed  12/13/2020 Zoloft 50mg 1/29ct  1/29/2021 Seroquel 50mg ct  2/12/2021 Wellbutrin 75mg.  Became hypo manic 2/1  6ct Trazodone 50mg 4/25  25mg 2/5/ 2021 Lamictal 150mg.  2/24  100mg   4/9  75mg   4/21 37.5 

2/16/2021 Seroquel 50xr  3/3 100mg  3/17  150mg  side effects ct   4/3 2021 Lexapro 5mg  4/14  7.5mg  4/30 10mg  5/10  7.5mg 

2021/ 5/16  5mg Lexapro   37.5 Lamictal   25mg trazadone,   xanax  .0625mg  3x a day   

Xanax 0.625 3x a day   Trazodone 25mg  Holding these

Lexapro   Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg   3/21 3.4mg>  5/2 3mg > 6/1  decreasing by 0.02ml  daily  to 2.7mg>  7/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to  2.5 mg>  8/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to 2.26mg

Lamictal  7/17/2022  25mg  9/9/2022 20mg

Supplements  Magnesium 300mg-400mg

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@Greatful hi ! thank you for your message and support. I just hit 5 months post zero. things are still really bad, but yes, occasional moments of relief. struggling onwards. I'm thinking of maybe trying a GABA supplement (even though there's debate about whether they cross the blood brain barrier). Hope you're having an okay day xx

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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A POSITIVE UPDATE

healing IS happening

yesterday I had a good day even by pre-withdrawal standards ! I spent time with my brother, his girlfriend, and some other extended family. we were playing cards and ordered takeaway. I felt engaged and connected and present, almost like my old self. all symptoms felt lessened in intensity. :) 

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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@eileen1111

Beautiful update, thank you for sharing!

Delighted for you <3

 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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6 hours ago, eileen1111 said:

A POSITIVE UPDATE

healing IS happening

yesterday I had a good day even by pre-withdrawal standards ! I spent time with my brother, his girlfriend, and some other extended family. we were playing cards and ordered takeaway. I felt engaged and connected and present, almost like my old self. all symptoms felt lessened in intensity. :) 

That's inspiring!   You earned it!

Zoloft on an off since 30s with no issues. On and off for years  long periods 25 to 150 mg.  75 average dose.  (Current age 50).

Risperdal 1 month. 2018.  Various trials of other drugs but Never for more than couple of weeks due to poor tolerance and all over 12 years ago.  Script for seldom used klonopin.  Would take 1 month at most.  Off for years

January 2021 went off Zoloft 25 mg and supplemented with Fish Oil/L Theanine/L Tryptophan to keep up Serotonin level

zoloft taper 100 t0 25mg over one year. concerns of vision heart side effects jumped at 25

went off in january 

Off for three weeks, went back on at 25 mg after depression symptoms came back

February 12 2022- either med reaction/serotonin toxicity with Zoloft mix other serotonin natural supplements

February 16 - 21 2022 (two doses of Zoloft on advice to restart, one 25mg, one 12.5mg - nausea

Supplements. Fish oil magnesium mct oil cytokine suppress multi vitamin nac modified keto and daily walks

Over next 2 months re instated  Zoloft to 65mg with significant partial improvements steady sleep. 

June 7 Resume taper 62.5 on  6/21 60mg 7/9 57.5mg 7/24 54 mg

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  • Mentor

@eileen1111 I very pleased to read that you are healing. It sounds like you had a great time with your brother and others. I hope each day continues to get better and better for you.

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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@Roserdl 

@RachelSusan

Thank you both ❤️ As fellow zoloft/sertraline sufferers.... we WILL win this battle !!

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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Hey! How are you feeling? I’m my 20’s as well.. mid 20’s & I relate to everything you said in this post & have pretty much all the same symptoms. My situation is a little different however I had an reaction to just one pill & it’s been 2 months so far. This is very hard. I too had to stop working & stop going to school as well. My life was just coming together then quarantine happened & now this. I’m so tired of always being in the house lol It feels like quarantine all over again but even worse since I’m the only one going through it. I miss my friends so much but I just don’t always have the energy to see them especially when my symptoms are unpredictable so it’s hard to make plans which you just don’t know if it’ll be a good day or a bad one. Doctors really have no knowledge of what’s going on, they are clueless when it comes to the nervous system/drug withdrawal/side effects. It’s 2022 not 1985 you think they would be more knowledgeable, I mean I taught MYSELF what’s going on from YouTube, google & talking to others it’s not that hard to learn smh. If it wasn’t for the forums & YouTube I’d probably believe i was going crazy. I will be following your journey & here whenever you wanna talk 🙂 

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

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@eileen1111

Thinking of you <3

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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On 6/29/2022 at 10:30 PM, peaceandlove said:

It’s 2022 not 1985 you think they would be more knowledgeable, I mean I taught MYSELF what’s going on

 

THIS!!! I don't feel qualified enough to be what is essentially my own specialist at this point. But if I can grasp what's happening, as someone who has barely any scientific knowledge apart from a biology A level, why is it so hard for healthcare professionals to understand ?? 

 

 

 

 

 

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/2/2022 at 7:06 AM, eileen1111 said:

 

THIS!!! I don't feel qualified enough to be what is essentially my own specialist at this point. But if I can grasp what's happening, as someone who has barely any scientific knowledge apart from a biology A level, why is it so hard for healthcare professionals to understand ?? 

 

 

 

 

 


yup exactly. & I don’t really like to talk about it much to anyone because no one understands. Only people who can relate is other people going / went through withdrawal. Hope your doing good 💕

April 2022- Only 1 celxa pill 10mg

had an adverse reaction & never took anymore again 

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On 6/7/2022 at 4:31 PM, eileen1111 said:

Btw, if you're in the UK, we have a really good support group which meets every week online, with people at various stages of tapering / WD, it's a great gang !! I'd be able to send you the link.

I'd be interested in this @eileen1111!

Sertraline (Lustral):  2014. Sept 50mg. Oct 100mg. Dec 150mg. 2015-2019. 150mg. 2019  Apr-May 0mg. Beg May 150mg. End May 100mg. Late June 125mg. Late Aug 100mg. 2020 Jan 75mg. April 50mg.

2022  50mg. 1Jan 45mg. 1Feb 40.5mg. Water T24Feb 39.5mg. 3Mar 38.5mg. 18Mar 38mg. 25Mar 37.5mg. 22Apr 37mg. 5May 36.5mg. 18May 36mg. 1Jun 35.3mg. 15Jun 34.5mg.  30Jun 34mg. 15Jul 33.5mg. 22Jul 33mg. 5Aug 32.5mg. 19Aug 32mg. 1Sept 31.5mg.

Promethazine:  2016 25mg. 2022  25mg. 26Jan 22.5mg. 3Apr 20mg.  17Jun 18mg. 20Jun 16.25mg

Desogestrel:  2014 -  present:  75mcg

Supplements: Introduced gradually between April and June 2022.  Magnesium. 400mcg  Folic acid.  400mcg. Vitamin D. 10mcg.  Multivit/min. 1 tab

 

 Omeprazole.:  2016 20mg. 2022  20mg.  15Jan 15mg. 9Feb 10mg. 25Feb 6.5mg. 15Mar 3mg. 3Apr 1.5mg.  15Apr 0mg 🎉

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@Blossom71 absolutely, I'll message you ! :) 

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

Link to comment

6 months post zero 

 

So I've made it to 6 months free from SSRIs.... It has been GRUELLING. I'm still struggling a lot with my neuro-sensitised system, in particular with the head and vision symptoms: chronic daily headache and frequent migraine, head pressure, visual snow, light sensitivity, some derealisation. I also have numbness in my face and a crawling feeling in my face most days. I also have twitches, random sharp stabs of pin-prick like pain (nerves???), and frequent 'clicks' in my brain that feel like a 'tut'? I think these are brain zaps because I never had them before WD

 

Something I have definitely noticed now is that the intensity of symptoms is HUGELY dependent on my hormones, and when progesterone is dropping in the week before my period I get thrown into a wave which will last for about 2-3 weeks, before I get maybe a week of feeling a bit better as my progesterone levels rise, before it all starting again. There is more of a pattern now than in the first 4/5 months post zero. I looked into it more, because this seems to be a common occurrence for people in psych med withdrawal - that symptoms get affected by menstrual cycle. I never realised that progesterone is actually neuroprotective as a neurosteroid, and it helps to regulate neurotransmission - by alleviating excitotoxicity, blocking voltage-gated calcium channels and upregulating the GABA-A receptor (thanks Wikipedia and the benzo WD community for this info). Anyway I'm really interested in this, if anyone knows more please comment. It seems like progesterone actually acts similarly to anticonvulsant drugs. Kind of fascinating, I just wish I didn't get plunged into a PMS from HELL once the progesterone starts dropping, I get so depressed it feels like a weight is crushing me. I've never previously struggled much with PMS symptoms/bad periods but because of my sensitisation I guess the hormone changes just affect me 10000% more now. 

 

Anyway, my days are a bit easier than the first 5 months, probably because the weather is better as well. But I really cannot cope with much at all. I got so upset and anxious the other day when my mum's priest asked me how I was, that i couldn't stop myself from crying in public, and couldn't speak, honestly I just went non-verbal from distress. And I used to work 10 hour shifts in a busy London pub!!!! 

 

I'm looking into maybe hyperbaric oxygen therapy for my chronic headaches, and getting light sensitivity glasses instead of just the 'fashion' sunglasses I wear all the time. I'm also starting some CBT therapy but I honestly don't know how helpful it will be while I still feel so debilitated most of the time. Maybe it will help with acceptance etc

 

My GP wants me to reduce my amitriptyline down to 10mg over the next 6 weeks and then introduce a low dose of topiramate/topamax but I'm not sure about this, because it's not just a headache condition that I have...... but it's all so complicated I'm getting too confused about what's what 

 

 

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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hello E 💕
 

So wonderful  to hear your update.
Have you ever looked into getting progesterone cream ? It’s essentially derived from  a yam ( potato ) and available on amazon . If you keep track of your cycle you can help it by rubbing progesterone on wrists or belly everyday for a kick before your moon time. 
I agree with your excitement in learning about hormones and how our bodies work. Knowledge is power ! 
 

also CBT was helping for me to not go into the deep end when anxiety was present and learn coping mechanisms . But this was years ago way before anything WD RELATED . on Monday I’m going to try hypnotherapy. I’ve heard it can be helpful during withdrawals . Anything is worth a try really ! 

Sertraline Dec 2018 - 50mg 

Sert 09/2021 - 50mg jump to 25mg ( no WD symp) 

Sert 04/2022- jump to 12.5mg 

May 1 to June 3rd 22 reduce to 0 

JULY 6th 22 - re-instatement SERTRALINE  2.5 mg 

AUG 6th 22 - increase to 4mg  SEP 4th - 5mg

SEP 7-8 -down to 4mg after increased anx + cramps

supplements omega 3  1x daily / magnesium 

symptoms at zero  - dizzy-eye twitching-irritable bowels -vertigo-nausea -confusion - head pressure- zaps 

Symtoms since re-in statement

Took two months or so to stabilize ( current dateSep27th ) 

no windows or waves . 75% me . 

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@eileen1111 great 6 months update. I am glad you can see progress ... I am based in the UK and will be keen to join the group to share experiences!

2011 - 2012 Venlafaxine 75 mg (14 months)

2013-2014 Cipralex 20 mg (11 months)

2014-2017 Venlafaxine 75 mg (30 months with 2 failed attempts to stop with fast taper)

July 2017 - Nov 2018 Zoloft 50 mg (stopped after a 5 week taper and all hell broke loose, severe WD for 4 months)

April 2019 - Zoloft 50 mg (reinstated Zoloft and stabilised after an adverse reaction on reinstatement)

 

Moved to liquid solution as of Jan 2022 (currently dissolving Zoloft 50 mg tablets in 50 ml water)

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

@eileen1111

Thinking of you and sending healing vibes <3

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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hi everyone! thought I'd update at 7 months post zero, but in september it'll be a year since this all 'started'. 

 

things are actually so, so much better. not 'great' by any stretch of the imagination - my nervous system is still trying to recover from the shock these neurotoxic drugs gave it, I'm pretty isolated sad and tired. but in the past couple of weeks I have felt a significant improvement in my functioning. I've been to the beach with a friend and been swimming 5 days in a row. When I was lying on the beach letting the sun completely relax me I realised that in that moment I felt glad, even happy. I went to a cafe with my dog and sat outside chatting to a couple of people and didn't feel like I was going to have a panic attack. In the mornings I no longer have the deep dread of the day in front of me. I eat well and healthily but also have ice cream etc. I sit outside and read books or the paper. I've been going to a support group at a local wellbeing centre and the woman who runs it is very nourishing and inspiring to be around. I have a little daily routine of making sure I look after myself, get dressed, put the radio on, wash up, walk the dog, stretch on my yoga mat. I am learning to repeat the message that THIS IS NOT MY FAULT !! I have had an accident, and I'm recovering, and it is going to take time.

 

I think it will take me 18 months + to recover completely, and I don't think I'll be the same person on the other side, but that's okay. I feel I'm reaching a level of 'bearable' where I can tentatively have a bit of a life again and that is amazing. In January of this year I truly thought it was the end for me. There were days that i couldn't stop pacing because of the chemical anxiety and burning feelings. I've still not had any points of being completely symptom free, but compared to where i was i now feel like every good moment is a gift. 

 

 

symptoms remaining: visual snow and light sensitivity (slightly reduced), derealisation (hugely reduced), numbness and crawling feelings in face, twitches in eyes and face (less frequent), brain 'clicks'/zaps, fatigue, depression/anxiety (reducing the more I am able to do things), sometimes neuropathic tingling pains, head pressure/headaches are still quite prevalent, some OCD thinking e.g. spelling words over and over, ear worms etc, low stress tolerance and low confidence

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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  • Mentor

Keep up the good work @eileen1111. You’ll get there in the end, I’m sure of it. It’s just a game of patience to outlast the withdrawal symptoms. The more you’re able to do the less you think about it; recovery is like an exponential curve once you start feeling a bit better.

Nothing I say or do is based on medical advice. I make my own choices based on intuition gained through individual research, and a lot of suffering. My intro
CURRENT MEDICATION:

1. Sertraline: 50mg October 2020; 100mg December 2020; 50mg April 2021; 75mg May 2021; 50mg 18 September 2021; big crash 6 December 2021; holding

Current dose: 50mg (Sep 2022)

2. Mirtazapine: 15mg November 2020;

Current dose: 15mg (Sep 2022)

 

PAST MEDICATION

1. Amitriptyline: 20mg Dec 2016 for epigastric pain; 10mg Dec 2017; 0mg Oct 2018 - no withdrawal symp.

 

SUPPLEMENTS: Magnesium Citrate;

LIFESTYLE: No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine

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  • Mentor

@eileen1111 Thank you for the update.  You are on the road to recovery. The hardest part is behind you. I'm sorry you still have some symptoms but with time they should all go away.

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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@Erimus @RachelSusan thanks both! It’s just a waiting game really, and doing the best we can within the limitations. I realised that I deserve the time it takes to recover, no matter how long. Onwards & upwards....😅

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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Hi @eileen1111. Great update. Sorry to hear you're still having symptoms but you can see how much you've improved. It will just take time. 

 

On 8/13/2022 at 10:57 AM, eileen1111 said:

There were days that i couldn't stop pacing

 

Oh yes, been there. I still have some pacing times when I'm anxious but the difference between the first few months and now is vast.

 

Time is a healer. 😊

 

25 mg Sertraline mid Dec 2020 to end of year

50 mg Sertraline Jan 2021 - March 2021

25 mg Sertraline April 2021 - June 2021

12.5 mg Sertraline July 2021

6 mg Sertraline Aug 2021

0 mg Aug 21 2021

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@BigDave hey, thanks for dropping by! you're right, things are much better than the first few months. looking back to those months now is humbling for sure.

I'm glad things are continuing to look up for you, slowly but surely :)

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

Link to comment

@Sophdamom I just realised I never replied to your lovely post on here! Thank you so much for the encouragement. I hope your hypnotherapy went well? I'd be interested to know more about your experience of this kind of therapy, I've always been curious about it

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

Link to comment

HELLO WAVE :( 

uptick in all the head symptoms, the pins and needle prickles, morning anxiety etc - nervous system just feels crackly/sparkly/very unhappy 

 

But at least I did have around a 10 day window. I've been reading @KenA's success story about how more sustained windows started appearing after 10 months. I think that's a realistic thing to hope for, and that at least by 1 year I'll be having clearer window and wave patterns.... they are a bit blurred together right now

 

It is so hard accepting that this is how I experience life now, through this dysregulated mess of a nervous system. But we just have to endure 💔 And not give up the faith in healing. 

 

A side note: I really want to apply for a part time job that has opened up and which I think I would JUST about be capable of. In my windows I think I could handle it, in my waves - like now - I get filled with anxiety thinking about it. It will take a huge amount of effort and grim determination to go for it, knowing that every shift would be a real challenge, but if I could keep it going I think that future me maybe a year from now would thank me for it so much. I also think that it would help with my depression, give me more structure and purpose. And some money (much needed....)!

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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  • Mentor

@eileen1111 I wanted to wish you good luck should you decide to apply for the job. It's very hard to do something that causes us anxiety, but if you can see a way to work with your anxiety and still go for it I think it would it's a great idea.

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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@RachelSusan Thank you so much ❤️ It's the kind of job which wouldn't have caused me anxiety if it wasn't for the withdrawal symptoms. But I think even the fact that I'm going to try and go for it is a positive sign that I'm accepting my situation and deciding not to let the symptoms overtake everything and just keep me stagnant in life. Even if it is extremely hard, I feel like ultimately having a part time job would help me in the long term, to distract me from symptoms, give me a sense of achievement when I limp through the shifts, and then on days off give me completely guilt-free bed days....!!

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

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  • Mentor

@eileen1111 I applaud you. I know this is very hard.  I am impressed.

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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  • Mentor

You’ll know when you’re ready to jump back into life a little bit @eileen1111. I think there comes a point in withdrawal where sitting around actually starts to become detrimental to healing. It’s a fine margin but sometimes I think to myself, I’m going to feel terrible regardless of what I’m doing.

 

I find withdrawal is much easier to tolerate in summer.

Nothing I say or do is based on medical advice. I make my own choices based on intuition gained through individual research, and a lot of suffering. My intro
CURRENT MEDICATION:

1. Sertraline: 50mg October 2020; 100mg December 2020; 50mg April 2021; 75mg May 2021; 50mg 18 September 2021; big crash 6 December 2021; holding

Current dose: 50mg (Sep 2022)

2. Mirtazapine: 15mg November 2020;

Current dose: 15mg (Sep 2022)

 

PAST MEDICATION

1. Amitriptyline: 20mg Dec 2016 for epigastric pain; 10mg Dec 2017; 0mg Oct 2018 - no withdrawal symp.

 

SUPPLEMENTS: Magnesium Citrate;

LIFESTYLE: No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine

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@Erimus spot on with this - i can either feel terrible just trying to fill the endless days and worrying about my life and health going down the drain, ruminating, very isolated from the world etc... or i can feel terrible while at work shifts but at least i’m doing something and am distracted.

 

it’s completely individual of course and depends on type, pattern and severity of symptoms , as well as life circumstances ! no withdrawal experience is the same !

 

 

How are you doing? How are you feeling after getting covid?

Sept 2021 - CT sertraline 25mg. told it was a 'placebo dose'; thought withdrawals would pass in a few weeks as medical guidelines say. 

Nov 2021 - Jan 2022 - failed reinstatement attempt which exacerbated symptoms as it gave me severe serotonin syndrome, unrecognised by doctors who told me to double my dose (!!!!). this was a very awful period, was still trying to work and go to uni, eventually had to quit everything & move back in with family. horrific 'altered reality' symptoms of dissociation, hallucinations, insomnia, chemical dread, racing heart, agitation, nausea, burning & more 

Jan 14th 2022: 0mg SSRI

Currently, Sept 2022: 10mg amitriptyline, magnesium glycinate, omega 3s, vitamins C, D, B12, occasional melatonin + L-theanine

Link to comment
  • Mentor
On 8/19/2022 at 9:20 AM, eileen1111 said:

HELLO WAVE :( 

uptick in all the head symptoms, the pins and needle prickles, morning anxiety etc - nervous system just feels crackly/sparkly/very unhappy 

 

But at least I did have around a 10 day window. I've been reading @KenA's success story about how more sustained windows started appearing after 10 months. I think that's a realistic thing to hope for, and that at least by 1 year I'll be having clearer window and wave patterns.... they are a bit blurred together right now

 

It is so hard accepting that this is how I experience life now, through this dysregulated mess of a nervous system. But we just have to endure 💔 And not give up the faith in healing. 

 

A side note: I really want to apply for a part time job that has opened up and which I think I would JUST about be capable of. In my windows I think I could handle it, in my waves - like now - I get filled with anxiety thinking about it. It will take a huge amount of effort and grim determination to go for it, knowing that every shift would be a real challenge, but if I could keep it going I think that future me maybe a year from now would thank me for it so much. I also think that it would help with my depression, give me more structure and purpose. And some money (much needed....)!

@eileen1111 Glad to hear that my success story has helped you to find some peace and reassure that you are going to get better!! No matter how long it takes, just keep reminding yourself that you are healing each and every day!! Just keep on going and going until you reach the finish line!! You've got this!! 

 

Ken

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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