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d1m1: crisis, like everyone else I imagine


d1m1

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Hello,

 

I’m really really needing help/advice/encouragement as I’m in the darkest hardest place I’ve ever been. I’ve had severe withdrawal symptoms for almost 3 months and I am so afraid that everything is ending and that there’s no way out of this.
 

I have intense insomnia that has subsided a little, but i am still averaging like 4 hours a night. My days are spent in absolutely intense anxiety, to the point that I was walking about 15 miles a day at the beginning just to deal with it. Now I am so afraid all day, of everything and nothing, I am afraid to drive on so little sleep, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get groceries, I’m afraid I’ve permanently disabled myself and will lose everything. I didn’t have any knowledge about reinstatement until finding this site last week and am so afraid I’ve missed the window.

 

I can’t believe I’ve done this to myself, and I’m having so many strange health things happen. At first it was a bit of

tingling in my feet when this all started. Then my urine became cloudy, but so far nothing has come

up in urinalysis. I have a white film on my tongue sometimes. I was taking hydroxyzine to help with sleep, but I think I started to experience some of its side effects so have stopped taking it.

 

Then I’ve just had a night a few nights ago of very severe diarrhea that I thought might put me in the hospital if it kept going. Thankfully it stopped and I rehydrated. I’m scheduled to see a doc in a week, and am so afraid that I have some kind of horrible illness like hyperthyroid.
 

I absolutely can’t go on like this, and feel like the crisis has gotten to a point where I either need to risk reinstatement, which will involve finding a cheap psychiatrist in the bay area as I don’t trust myself, or somehow find the inner fortitude that others on here have found and bear the unbearable to heal.

 

I’m so afraid, and the only person I really can talk about it with is my long distance girlfriend, but that is so much to ask of her and she can’t save me. I thought I was ready to change my life, I thought I was careful. And now everything is *****, I don’t have a job, need to get one, but feel so totally crippled by this. I feel like i’m going to end up In some kind of hospital. And encouragement and advice or support would be a godsend.

2012 - Prescribed Lamictal for anxiety/ depression

2013 - switched to Zoloft, eventually reaching 100mg daily

Spring 2021 - Begin taper by cutting down 12.75mg every 10 days due to psychiatrists’s advice

Spring 2021 - Slow down to cutting and holding until things normalize

Summer/Fall 2021 - complete taper after approx. 5 months

End of October 2021 - Withdrawal symptoms begin and accelerate rapidly.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to d1m1: crisis, like everyone else I imagine
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  You have come to the right place.  It sounds like you got withdrawal symptoms from tapering off the Zoloft too quickly.  I blame your psychiatrist for this -  s/he did not taper you off correctly.  Very few of them know how to properly taper these drugs.  Please rest assured, this is temporary, and it will slowly improve.  

 

Thank you for giving us your drug history.  

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.   This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully. 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Also, as we are recovering, we suggest keeping things slow, simple, and stable. 

 

Keep it Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 


Magnesium

 

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I think you may benefit from reinstating a small dose of Zoloft.  I would suggest trying 5 mg.  Going back on a small dose of your drug is best done very carefully.  This is temporary, and after stabilizing you would then taper gradually off of this.  There is some risk involved, but starting at a very low dose helps to ameliorate that risk.  Here is some information about reinstatement.  The purpose of reinstatement is to reduce your withdrawal symptoms.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Please consider this, and let us know if you decide to reinstate or not.  If you do, the link below will show you how to measure the small dose. The liquid Zoloft would be the simplest and easiest way to taper.  

 

Tips for Tapering Zoloft

 

There is a lot to digest here.  Hang in there, and let us know how you are doing. 

Edited by getofflex

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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Thanks so much. I'm trying to contact a couple of psychiatrists from the list on this site to see about reinstating. I really want to get through this, but every day is so difficult and feels like I am just living in a groundhog's day scenario of suffering. I particularly need to find a job, but not being able to concentrate at all and being so incredibly restless while sleeping very little makes it seem impossible.

2012 - Prescribed Lamictal for anxiety/ depression

2013 - switched to Zoloft, eventually reaching 100mg daily

Spring 2021 - Begin taper by cutting down 12.75mg every 10 days due to psychiatrists’s advice

Spring 2021 - Slow down to cutting and holding until things normalize

Summer/Fall 2021 - complete taper after approx. 5 months

End of October 2021 - Withdrawal symptoms begin and accelerate rapidly.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry that you are suffering like this.  My heart goes out to you.  I understand, because I've been through it, too.  

 

You may be able to get an Rx from your primary care physician for the drug, and reinstate from that. Keep us posted, and let us know what yo decide, and how you are doing.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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Thanks, I actually have a fair amount of the Zoloft left, I just don't trust myself enough to reinstate alone.

2012 - Prescribed Lamictal for anxiety/ depression

2013 - switched to Zoloft, eventually reaching 100mg daily

Spring 2021 - Begin taper by cutting down 12.75mg every 10 days due to psychiatrists’s advice

Spring 2021 - Slow down to cutting and holding until things normalize

Summer/Fall 2021 - complete taper after approx. 5 months

End of October 2021 - Withdrawal symptoms begin and accelerate rapidly.

Link to comment

How have you been feeling lately?  Did you get to the doctor yet?  Why don’t you trust yourself alone to reinstate?

2010 - 2018 Zoloft 75 mg 2019 Zoloft 50mg 2019 Zoloft 25 mg

2020 Zoloft 12.5mg

2020 Switched July 6, 2020 to Lexapro 10 mg  Nov 10, 2020 5 mg 

2021 Feb 2, 2021 2.5 mg until July 24, 2021 (Date quit)

2021 Lexapro .5 mg Reinstatement Aug 18, 2021 

2021 Lexapro .42 mg Nov 16, 2021

2021 Lexapro .35 mg Dec 1, 2021

2021 Lexapro .5 mg updose Dec 11, 2021

2022 Lexapro 1.0 mg updose March 15, 2022

2022 Quit Lexapro March 19, 2022

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Not great, having so much anxiety and cognitive fog I'm assuming from lack of sleep. Finding it so hard to do anything to cope. I have called a couple psychiatrists and am hoping to hear back.

 

In this whole taper process I've come to realize that I really don't know how to take care of myself. I thought I was an adult, making adult decisions, but really I have no idea what I'm doing. And now it's at the point where, like, I don't know how much to eat, when I'm full or hungry, if I have ever felt real feelings before, blegh. So I don't think I trust myself trying to reinstate and having something go wrong, like what would I even do? Not to mention now someone close to me has tested positive for Covid, which I'm sure would not be a great experience in WD. And was supposed to have a general dr. appt today, but then found out about the Covid, so had to cancel. Really feeling at an all time low in my life, and seeing all the ways in which I have just floated through life in an unthinking, unfeeling way. Feel like I have been some weird form of brain damaged or something or like there is something else wrong with me as weird health things pile up. 

 

I find myself looking at the success stories for comfort, and then I think to myself "I can do this", but end up having no idea how. TLDR: a baby went off an SSRI thinking he was a man, and now it's all falling apart. Really hoping that I can pick up the pieces in a good way, but so hard to concentrate. Obviously others have been through this, and I'm sure had it even rougher than me, so welcome to my pity party 😛 <-using humor to try and deflect

2012 - Prescribed Lamictal for anxiety/ depression

2013 - switched to Zoloft, eventually reaching 100mg daily

Spring 2021 - Begin taper by cutting down 12.75mg every 10 days due to psychiatrists’s advice

Spring 2021 - Slow down to cutting and holding until things normalize

Summer/Fall 2021 - complete taper after approx. 5 months

End of October 2021 - Withdrawal symptoms begin and accelerate rapidly.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
21 hours ago, d1m1 said:

I just don't trust myself enough to reinstate alone.

@d1m1You are not alone in this.  We are here to help you with a reinstatement, if your so choose. Please be really careful with doctors, often they will put people on a full reinstatement, and then this worsens the patient's situation.  We can walk you through a reinstatement step by step.  Of course, I realize that only so much can be done through an online forum.  Please let us know what you decide to do.  You may decide not to reinstate, and just tough it out.  That is an option too.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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Thanks so much, I am still feeling very stuck and alone. Sleep seemed to be stabilizing around 5-6 hours a night, but has gotten wonky again. The psychs I reached out to were suggested by altostrata, but I doubt I can afford them. I am trying to feel like a strong person, but now I seem to have some kind of fungal toenail infection, and covid is obviously around, and still afraid that I have something like diabetes or hyperthryoidism so everything still feels like it's crashing. Recovery and even reinstatement with a psych feels a bit like a pipedream at the moment, all this brain fog and cognitive impairment, though I'm not sure that I was really all that much better before WD. It also doesn't seem like my therapist really believes that I'm having WD from Zoloft, or at least he wants to talk about other things.

 

I feel like I am going to end up in some kind of inpatient program or something as I keep having a harder and harder time taking care of myself. Wish there was something like a Soteria house for WD. I am just blabbing at this point, but I have really no one else to talk to like this.

2012 - Prescribed Lamictal for anxiety/ depression

2013 - switched to Zoloft, eventually reaching 100mg daily

Spring 2021 - Begin taper by cutting down 12.75mg every 10 days due to psychiatrists’s advice

Spring 2021 - Slow down to cutting and holding until things normalize

Summer/Fall 2021 - complete taper after approx. 5 months

End of October 2021 - Withdrawal symptoms begin and accelerate rapidly.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
12 hours ago, d1m1 said:

I feel like I am going to end up in some kind of inpatient program or something as I keep having a harder and harder time taking care of myself

If you do, just be aware that they are likely to pump you up full of drugs again, which, I believe would worsen your situation.   

 

I got rid of my toenail fungal infection by applying tea tree oil twice a day.  It took about 8 months, but is altogether gone now. 

 

13 hours ago, d1m1 said:

It also doesn't seem like my therapist really believes that I'm having WD from Zoloft, or at least he wants to talk about other things.

This is very typical.  Most of these people have been bamboozled by the drug manufacturers.  

 

You will have to find the strength within yourself to take care of yourself.  You can do this!  You are not completely alone - you have us. I know it's only an internet forum, but we have been through what you are doing through.  Please don't give up. Go to my initial post, and check out some of the non drug coping techniques.  

 

 

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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Thank you,

 

I am still pretty freaked out and feel like I am just one bad day away from losing everything. I haven't done a good job of trying to implement coping techniques, beyond when I was walking like 15 miles a day at the beginning of big WD symptoms. That plus not taking care of my diet really ever or my feet definitely have contributed to some of the health things that I have going on right now. I just feel so much that if I could calm down, if I could sleep properly, I could make it to the other side of this, but I know there is no magic to that. I'm wondering what of the coping strategies worked for you? Right now I am trying to meditate twice a day, though that is slow coming, and doing some yoga before bed. Also taking some Magnesium and a GABA supplement before bed as well. I feel like I need something much stronger though to get to a place where, in the next little bit, I can actually function enough to properly take care of myself. Also so confused how people have managed to have jobs while going through this.

2012 - Prescribed Lamictal for anxiety/ depression

2013 - switched to Zoloft, eventually reaching 100mg daily

Spring 2021 - Begin taper by cutting down 12.75mg every 10 days due to psychiatrists’s advice

Spring 2021 - Slow down to cutting and holding until things normalize

Summer/Fall 2021 - complete taper after approx. 5 months

End of October 2021 - Withdrawal symptoms begin and accelerate rapidly.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Here are some techniques and links to help.  The one thing you want to try and do, is to not freak out.  I know, easier said than done.  

 

Claire Weekes can help with the anxiety and fear - that's the third link.  

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 
 
Getting outside for a gentle walk for about 30 minutes each day can help calm you down a lot.  It does me.  
Listen to very relaxing music at night when you can't sleep.  It will help you relax, and may even lull you to sleep.  
Eliminate negative people who bring stress into your life if you can.
Eat healthy stuff, avoid junk food and too much sugar and processed food.  
Stay on a routine of regular meals, and sleep times.  
Do most of your activity early in the day, gradually slow down as the day goes into evening.  
Develop a spiritual life.  Pray, meditate, read the Bible, read articles and stories about God, etc.  Finding Meaning
Do creative things with your hands, like sewing, cooking, coloring, painting, drawing, building something, wood working, etc.  
 
Have you tried taking omega-3?  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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