DoneDanny: short period on sertraline / Zoloft and I lost myself

[DoneDanny]

3 hours ago, Altostrata said:

On 5/25/2022 at 1:30 PM, DoneDanny said:

I was happily off of both medications for well over 2-3 years with only minor issues, before getting covid and then being fatigued like crazy and in body pain afterwards. That's when I went to the Doctor's office and started taking what they recommended, which was sertraline.

 

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

It appears you had these symptoms from covid, and you may be confusing them with adverse effects of sertraline.

 

It is likely your pain symptoms are from long covid. I'm sorry, we don't have any solutions for long covid here. You do not appear to have sertraline withdrawal syndrome. We do not have any remedies for what you have.

The two medications in question were alprazolam and lamictal... someone asked me about prior medication use or something.

 

not sertraline...

 

I guess I need to explain my entire story again. 

 

Had fatigue and body pain(most likely from doing construction type work in 100+ degree weather in the sun). Went to np. NP said it was depression. Gave me sertraline.

 

After one pill my entire perception of reality was altered and not in a good way. Continued to take it for weeks believing it just needed time to acclimate. Intense dpdr which I had never experience in my entire life, didn't even know it was a thing. Hasn't gone away since. Intense fear of being a human hasn't gone away since. Eyes went extremely fuzzy. Intrusive thoughts that loop. Paranoia. Fear of seeing things with too much complexity. Basically I'm mentally wrecked. Lost every ounce of who I am.

 

None of that was present before I took sertraline. So whether you or anyone else believes me I do not care anymore. I'm tired of explaining my reality.

 

I searched the internet day and night for months and I began to think it was long covid because I had covid and recovered months prior. I didn't believe a drug that was handed out like candy could cause such destruction. I even thought it was cancer and my heart sunk when the cancer specialists didn't even want to see me because they said I was healthy. I even took a long covid blood test and had no raised inflammatory cytokines.

 

So to reiterate, I didn't have any eye issues, dpdr, suicidal ideation, chronic depression, loss of self, etc. Prior to taking sertraline. I believe the body pain I feel now is a manifestation of severe depression and wanting to cease existing.

[Altostrata]

20 hours ago, DoneDanny said:

After one pill my entire perception of reality was altered and not in a good way. Continued to take it for weeks believing it just needed time to acclimate.

 

This was October 20-November 19, 2021. When exactly did you have covid?

 

Here you say you got covid, with body pain from covid, THEN you took sertraline. This indicates your body pain is from covid, NOT sertraline:

 

On 5/25/2022 at 11:30 AM, DoneDanny said:

I didn't add lamictal or alprazolam to my signature because I was happily off of both medications for well over 2-3 years with only minor issues, before getting covid and then being fatigued like crazy and in body pain afterwards. That's when I went to the Doctor's office and started taking what they recommended, which was sertraline.

....

 

As you have not reported withdrawal symptoms after you went off alprazolam or lamictal, it is unlikely your current symptoms -- which sound very much like long covid -- are withdrawal symptoms from alprazolam or lamictal.

 

It is unlikely you have withdrawal symptoms from taking sertraline for about 3 weeks. You might have had an adverse reaction to sertraline WITH covid or post-covid symptoms, but we don't have any answers to either condition.

 

If you had an adverse reaction to sertaline, we would not advise taking an antidepressant again for your current symptoms. We cannot advise you on long covid treatment.

 

It sounds like you cannot believe you have long covid. We cannot help you with long covid, sorry.

[DoneDanny]

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

On 6/30/2022 at 9:05 PM, DoneDanny said:

After one pill my entire perception of reality was altered and not in a good way. Continued to take it for weeks believing it just needed time to acclimate.

 

This was October 20-November 19, 2021. When exactly did you have covid?

 

Here you say you got covid, with body pain from covid, THEN you took sertraline. This indicates your body pain is from covid, NOT sertraline:

 

On 5/25/2022 at 1:30 PM, DoneDanny said:

I didn't add lamictal or alprazolam to my signature because I was happily off of both medications for well over 2-3 years with only minor issues, before getting covid and then being fatigued like crazy and in body pain afterwards. That's when I went to the Doctor's office and started taking what they recommended, which was sertraline.

....

 

As you have not reported withdrawal symptoms after you went off alprazolam or lamictal, it is unlikely your current symptoms -- which sound very much like long covid -- are withdrawal symptoms from alprazolam or lamictal.

 

It is unlikely you have withdrawal symptoms from taking sertraline for about 3 weeks. You might have had an adverse reaction to sertraline WITH covid or post-covid symptoms, but we don't have any answers to either condition.

 

If you had an adverse reaction to sertaline, we would not advise taking an antidepressant again for your current symptoms. We cannot advise you on long covid treatment.

 

It sounds like you cannot believe you have long covid. We cannot help you with long covid, sorry.

I had covid in like June of 2021.

Sure the body pain is long covid thanks. Didn't have much body pain until about 2 weeks before I took the sertraline. Which was when I was working on a doc out in the sun each day. Sorry what I said previously wasn't in depth or was inaccurate. When you can't barely read or think clearly, it's pretty easy to write the wrong info out of pain.

 

I'll update my footer to include every detail tomorrow.

 

But;

 

I DID NOT HAVE DPDR. I TOOK SERTRALINE AND NOW I HAVE DPDR. IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO THINK THEY'RE RELATED? 

 

Thanks for all of the help.

 

I haven't recovered and probably never will.

 

Arguing about my suffering surely helps no one.

 

Goodbye 👋 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

As explained before, the DP/DR could be long covid, or it could be related to sertraline -- but we don't have any quick fixes to either. If it's related to sertaline, it should very gradually fade over time.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[DoneDanny]

Almost another month and I can't believe how horrible the dpdr is. Stepped outside a moment ago and the way the world looked made me instantly hate myself for what I've done to my brain. How is this real. When will the hell end.

 

I curl up into a ball on the ground bawling my eyes out daily because there is no way this is my life. There is no way I am forced to see things this way. How hasn't anything gotten fixed yet? 

 

I can't keep doing this.

[Roserdl]

Very sorry you aren't seeing improvements yet

 

Hope you see progress soon

[Altostrata]

We cannot address symptoms from long covid.

 

As withdrawal symptoms go, derealization or depersonalization or emotional anesthesia are not the most severe of symptoms. They slowly fade over time.

 

You need to figure out which are your symptoms and which are your emotional reactions to feeling poorly. You have control over the latter.

 

If you have long covid, you are experiencing the problems in having a chronic condition. You may find you get more from a Facebook group for those who have long covid.

[Vonnegutjunky]

For me my dpdr and the anxiety loop I get in drags me down into a depression - but I’ve read a lot of people recovering from this in spite of medication- 

 

I personally think/hope if we practice while in the worst of wd, on learning new coping skills and practicing them without expectations that they will really do much at that time- we can create healthy habits for later, for when they would benefit us- 

 

my biggest regret is not practicing acceptance when I was at my worst and just going right back to old ways after my major stmptoms lifted - my emotional symptoms caused me pain, literal psychic pain - it was awful - now my anxiety is causing my severe backaches, becuase of the constant tension - 

 

but I keep going, keep practicing, becuase dpdr will absolutely not go away by waiting it out - it’s an anxiety disorder 100% - no matter what caused it or how you were before - it will not lift without working on it - and even if it does, it will come back. The only way out is to go through. It’s hard as hell. 

[DoneDanny]

4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

If you have long covid, you are experiencing the problems in having a chronic condition. You may find you get more from a Facebook group for those who have long covid.

Took tests, spent hundreds, from the tests its unlikely. I have no inflammatory markers at all to indicate long covid. But thank you.

 

 

6 hours ago, Roserdl said:

Very sorry you aren't seeing improvements yet

 

Hope you see progress soon

@Roserdl You too. I hope we both see the light soon enough.

 

2 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

becuase dpdr will absolutely not go away by waiting it out - it’s an anxiety disorder 100%

2 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

For me my dpdr and the anxiety loop I get in drags me down into a depression - but I’ve read a lot of people recovering from this in spite of medication- 

 

 

It just doesn't feel like its 100% anxiety. It feels so physiological. No matter how calm my mood is or how much I work on not freaking out about the dpdr, it doesn't seem to ever change even in the slightest. It's been full blown from pill one til now. In the beginning when I was taking the sertraline, I couldn't even sleep because the anxiety of breathing made me feel like I couldn't breathe now at least I can sleep. I sleep almost too much though. 

 

[Vonnegutjunky]

6 hours ago, DoneDanny said:

 

 

 

It just doesn't feel like its 100% anxiety. It feels so physiological. No matter how calm my mood is or how much I work on not freaking out about the dpdr, it doesn't seem to ever change even in the slightest. It's been full blown from pill one til now. In the beginning when I was taking the sertraline, I couldn't even sleep because the anxiety of breathing made me feel like I couldn't breathe now at least I can sleep. I sleep almost too much though. 

 

I’m the same. I developed an obsession that I was losing my mind, to the point I was questioning everything thing I saw and thought and every behavior I made, I convinced myself I was delusional from it. It’s all anxiety. Even if you don’t freak out about it, it doesn’t matter, you have to befriend it, that’s the only way, ERP is the only hope we have. I’ve been doing it and I hate hate hate doing it, but all of the research shows, it’s the only real way. 
I sleep too much too because it’s an escape. I would rather sleep than face feeling like this, but I get up and push and force myself. The sensations are so disgusting, I hate how I feel, but I want to bulldoze through. I meditate a lot, because that’s when I face all of my fears and allow them to happen. Your brave enough to confront your mind. 
 

if you want, one of the best books that helped me is overcoming unwanted and intrusive thoughts. You may not have intrusive thoughts, but you can just replace that for fear, or anxiety, or dpdr and apply the techniques exactly the same. 

[Altostrata]

There is no particular test for long covid.

[DoneDanny]

On 8/1/2022 at 3:53 AM, Vonnegutjunky said:

Even if you don’t freak out about it, it doesn’t matter, you have to befriend it, that’s the only way, ERP is the only hope we have.

I left the house everyday and would do things for months. It didn't make any difference to how fake everything is or how hard it is for me to see/ feel normal. Nothing helps. The damage has been done and it hasn't shown even in the slightest that it will ever get better. ERP may help with anxiety towards things but it doesn't help the brain damage.

[DoneDanny]

No improvements. Feels like I'm getting worse. I left my home weeks ago to live with my dad in another state. It isn't helping but I was out of options.

[Vonnegutjunky]

I’m sorry you feel so awful  I know how it is. I don’t know if it will help you - but the book the waiting room by dr Jennifer swantkowski is really good - it’s about benzo wd - I’ve never taken a benzo but it’s helping me becuase it’s about cns damage more than anything - she also has a YouTube channel that I think is super helpful - she goes by jenniferswanphd on there - she talks a lot about the limbic system and the fear centers of our brains - hang in there - your not alone 

[Altostrata]

We still can't help you with either your post-drug emotional anesthesia or long covid, whichever it is (or both).

 

As explained before, if your condition is from an adverse reaction to sertraline, we would not advise taking an antidepressant again, but to allow the symptoms to resolve naturally. The reinstatement we might suggest for true withdrawal syndrome is not appropriate for you. 

 

Many people with withdrawal syndrome find at least a half-hour each day of gentle exercise, such as walking, helpful, as well as eating fresh food with minimal artificial additives. You might want to try fish oil and magnesium supplements, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

If your condition is post-drug emotional anesthesia, we expect it to very gradually fade over many months. We cannot advise on recovery from long covid, but it's probably the same.

 

We simply have no answers for you here. Sorry.

[CallOfTheWild2]

@Vonnegutjunky  Thanks for sharing the info regarding jenniferswanphd.  I've been watching her YouTube videos, and they are indeed very informative.  Everything she has/is experiencing sounds so familiar to me, sadly.

 

@DoneDanny  Has anything improved lately?  I'm curious, as your story sounds pretty similar to mine (short time on medication, things didn't go well, now stuck in some sort of nightmare).  I feel like I've been living like a nun in an attempt to get rid of this - no alcohol, no caffeine, I go to bed early, exercise, eat healthy, I get outdoors often, I attempt to socialize (I haven't been very successful with this), I try to stay up with my hobbies (even though I feel no joy from them anymore).  And still no improvement in my symptoms.  I too wonder at times if this is just the way I am now.  But I have to trust the other people on this site - the people who have experienced this same thing, and got better.  It's pretty much the only thing that gives me a tiny bit of hope.  Hopefully you can find a sliver of hope in that as well.