gatos: mirtazapine withdrawals

[Knosretep]

15 hours ago, gatos said:

Hi @Knosretep . Thank for noticing and caring enough to ask.
Yes, I have found another job. I managed to delay starting it as much as possible. I start on 1st of May. It will be a remote only thing, so I will be working from home. 
 

 

 That's great, congrats!  It's good you're able to work from home since you might be experiencing some bumps as you go through tapering.  Hopefully you'll be completely stable by your start date. 🙂

 

[gatos]

Hi guys.

 

My progress so far. I have been consistent on ~13.2mg (137mg of a 310 mg pill) for over a month now. There are days that i sleep adequately and feell rested and relieved. But then there are days that the insomnia hits and then  **** hits the fan.

 

I have observed that the insomnia is caused mainly from bad thoughts during the day (rumination i guess) of what i have done to myself and how am i going to become normal again. I am afraid that i am deteriorating my health. These thoughs come at night and wake me up.

 

I have also observed that my sleep has greatly deteriorated since i started taking the pill consistently at 15mg (around at January Nd later reducing to 13.2) and of course it is when I found out about how bad that pill is. Before that i never had so bad sleep when not taking the pill for several days or even weeks. I was just waking up early (cortisol spikes?) In the morning.

 

Not sure what to do with that information. I guess my current dosage is either too little (should have started tapering at 30 maybe?) or too much (causes me over stimulating effect)?

 

I have booked appointments with an endocrinologist and a neurologist. I am thinking i might have mild serotonin syndrome (some of the symptoms are similar especially when the insomnia hits with elevated heart rate, perspiration and not being able to concentrate my thoughts on anything specific for more than a few seconds)

 

Any thoughts guys?

[Knosretep]

Hi @gatos

 

My thoughts:

 

It seems unlikely to be serotonin syndrome when you were taking 30-45mg everyday before (Nov2021 - Jan 2022) and didn't have this problem.  I guess the endocrinologist and neurologist can rule out it being serotonin syndrome, or confirm that's what is it.

 

My bet is that you're still not completely stable from the drop and the rumination is enough to tip you to insomnia, or like some days you are just down and that brings the rumination which coincides with insomnia.

 

Hope you find the answer and are able to recover your sleep!

[OldDodgy]

@gatos

 

True serotonin syndrome is pretty dire but there are some of us who are very sensitive to it.

I researched mirtazipine through a friend and it does have serotogenic properties- so as you are probably now sensitive to it that may explain some symptoms. 
For me the only way was to get off it and sleep improvement started at 7.5 and below. 
 

Wishing you l well

OD 

[gatos]

Hi @Knosretep and @OldDodgy

Thank you so much guys for replying. I really need some encouragement. Only just today I let someone else (apart from my girlfriend) know about my problem. I just told my sister about my problem but very briefly, she doesn't know any of the details. She helped me look up doctors.
I don't dare telling my parents, they are old, won't understand and probably get worried and sad.
 

I really need some help to get through this and you guys are like an oasis in an endless dessert. My girlfriend is trying her best but it is starting to affect her as she feels that she cannot help me.

I feel so bad not replying to your threads, I just find it overwhelming when I read what other people are going through and it terrifies me. I will try to catch up with you guys.
 

38 minutes ago, Knosretep said:

My bet is that you're still not completely stable from the drop and the rumination is enough to tip you to insomnia, or like some days you are just down and that brings the rumination which coincides with insomnia.

As I read this it makes sense.
I was feeling very well the last three days, well and optimistic that I started thinking perhaps I can go a bit lower. Then after a few google searches for mirtazapine withdrawals brought the bad thoughts back.

I looked up @OldDodgy's Ashton method and found this. I think the anxiety and insomnia paragraphs describe very well what I am dealing with.

[Knosretep]

44 minutes ago, gatos said:

Hi @Knosretep and @OldDodgy

Thank you so much guys for replying. I really need some encouragement. Only just today I let someone else (apart from my girlfriend) know about my problem. I just told my sister about my problem but very briefly, she doesn't know any of the details. She helped me look up doctors.
I don't dare telling my parents, they are old, won't understand and probably get worried and sad.
 

 

I can understand this.  It's tough to tell people, but it is really helpful to have support from people who know you and care about you.  Even if they end up not being as supportive as you'd like, at least they know there's a reason that you're maybe acting differently and will hopefully not hold that against you.

 

44 minutes ago, gatos said:

I really need some help to get through this and you guys are like an oasis in an endless dessert. My girlfriend is trying her best but it is starting to affect her as she feels that she cannot help me.

 

The hard truth is that no one can go through this for us, and no one can really make us better.  She can still help you by being supportive and understanding, but the healing is up to you.  Kinda like healing a broken bone, the most we can do is provide the body with adequate nutrition to heal, and prevent further injury to it while it heals.  It's the same for anyone supporting us.  As long as they are not causing us additional problems/stress and are doing anything to ease our symptoms or make our struggle more bearable then that's as much help as can be done.

 

44 minutes ago, gatos said:

I feel so bad not replying to your threads, I just find it overwhelming when I read what other people are going through and it terrifies me. I will try to catch up with you guys.
 

 

No worries.  It's overwhelming to think about what's going on with myself and terrifying too, so I try not to!  Can't blame you there!  😂

 

44 minutes ago, gatos said:

As I read this it makes sense.
I was feeling very well the last three days, well and optimistic that I started thinking perhaps I can go a bit lower. Then after a few google searches for mirtazapine withdrawals brought the bad thoughts back.

 

Hey, that's great news!  You felt well enough that you were thinking about cutting again! That's huge!  It hasn't been long at all (although it feels like ages) that you stepped down from 30-45mg and you're already having multi-day windows!  That's amazing really!

 

44 minutes ago, gatos said:

I looked up @OldDodgy's Ashton method and found this. I think the anxiety and insomnia paragraphs describe very well what I am dealing with.

 

I think you are gonna be just fine.  Give yourself some time to stabilise more and get back to that point you were at 3 days ago, but don't go reading up on Mirtazapine withdrawal this time.

[Bestill]

@gatos

 

One thing I stopped doing is reading other horror stories.  You have your own story so focus on that.  When I thought I wouldn’t get over the anxiety and just the general feeling like garbage 24/7 I went to these two YouTube videos.  I did them both daily.  Maybe it can help you You.

 

 

 

I will also say as I keep decreasing my Mirtazapine I am having more good days than bad and definitely feeling more tired at night.  If I do too much it will catch up to me.  
 

you will get there, trust yourself.