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jonah2001: last dose duloxetine 6 1/2 month ago


jonah2001

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@ Yes, I am okay.. sorry guys that I am saying something like that.

 

A very very hard wave nocked me on my but out of nowhere.. it's very frustrating to say at least.. when you felt okay (not good) for almost 2 1/2 week's.. and then something nocks you on your but that you can't even talk ūüėÖūüėÖ

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Thank you guys for your answers.. 

 

I don't know what is happen to me in those waves.. it's like the devil is back in my mind, and trys to convince me that it will stay like that for every.. 

 

I still feel terrible.. but still better than yesterday I would say..  those waves come out of nowhere.. it's so hard after having such an awesome window.. where I started to live a small little bit.. 

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@KenA

@Armorall

 

Did you guys sometimes had very strong waves, even when you felt good? Especially mental waves? 

 

So I felt definitely okay for 2 week's. 

 

And than out of nowhere a wave came.. that made me completely not functional.. so incredible strange.. 

 

I sometimes have the feeling, of extrem mental tension.. like I am bursting in flames in the next couple of seconds.. 

I mean yes, I had that a couple of times. In my waves.. 

 

It's incredible anyoing and hard to deal with.. it's like every minute feels like a whole day ūüėÖūüėÖ

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@jonah2001 So happy to know you are okay!  Relieved!  Yes your mind can go wacko in a wave.   What you are experiencing is completely normal.  They can come out of no where and are shocking if you have had a good window.  But they will pass.  It training our brains to remember that this will pass it isn't forever.  When you are in a wave you will feel like it will never end and it has always been that way.  A lie of course.  Glad you are doing better.  Also learning that this is backwards healing, not like healing with other injuries or sickness.  When we are in a wave and feeling our worst we are healing.  Your body is working hard to adjust.  Non-linear healing means it doesn't follow a straight path. It will go back and forth as you progress. You will heal.  Thank you for letting us know you are okay. Hang in there.   I have been praying for you.  HUGS!

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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Good to hear things have improved slightly Jonah. Don’t scare us with messages like that and disappear! 

Nothing I say or do is based on medical advice. I make my own choices based on intuition gained through individual research, and a lot of suffering.
 

‚ÄúThe good thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way out is up.‚ÄĚ
 

Sertraline (Lustral): 50mg October 2020; 100mg December 2020; 50mg April 2021; 75mg May 2021; 50mg 18 September 2021; big crash 6 December 2021

Current dose: 50mg (August 2022)

Mirtazapine (Generic): 15mg November 2020

Current dose: 15mg (August 2022)

Amitriptyline (Generic): 20mg Dec 2016 for epigastric pain; 10mg Dec 2017; 10mg every third day Sep 2018; 0mg Oct 2018

 

Supplements: Ashwagandha; Magnesium Citrate

Lifestyle: No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine

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@jonah2001

Jonah,

So glad to see you are doing better. Don't scare us like that again! I know things can feel pretty scary at times but reach out to us for support. We can't help you if you are feeling suicidal, we aren't equipped to deal w that. We ARE here for you to lend support and to assure you that you are not alone in your pain. Stay strong. Reach out anytime. 

ūüė™Zoloft 20mg 2/21, BuSpar ( bad reaction)¬†

Klonopin 1mg 2/21 CT Zoloft in hospital put on Remeron, clonodine and Trazadone 75mg 3/21 Taken off Remeron & Clonodine 3/21 put on Prozac 20mg.

Klonopin .50mg take .25mg twice daily 

8/21 crosstapered to Lexapro (highest dose 25mg) Tapered Trazadone 7/21

1/22 tapered down from 25mg to  10mg Lexapro in 3 weeks. (still holding at 10mg)

started Effexor 37.5. ( on Effexor total 5 weeks)

2/22 told to stop Effexor and go directly to 20mg Cymbalta for two weeks. 3/5/22 30mg Cymbalta.
Estradiol .5mg 2016

Started liquid Lexapro 5/10/22

Back to pull form Lexapro 5/22/22 (couldn’t tolerate liquid) 

*Resumed Lexapro 10mg BMS Taper on 6/27/22 2.5% =126mgpw July 9 -2.5%= 123mppw 9.50mg

7/29/2022 increased Klonopin to .75mg 8/1/22 back to .50mg Klonopin (body didn't like the increase)

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Hey guy's, I am so sorry that I scared you with my messages. Those waves are very, very terrible and they come out of nowhere. 

 

I thought today that the wave is over.. but I was very wrong. Had a good 6 hours where I didn't felt terrible, only to feel bad now again.. but that is mostly how my waves end.. I feel good and optimistic for an couple of hours.. and than boom. 

 

So out of my experience tomorrow will be very uneasy.. until the evening. Thank it will get better.. until I feel good.. and that's mostly the beginning of a window.. 

 

I let's watch If I know WD well!! 

 

But it's good to be prepared for a strong hit again!! 

 

I have the "feeling" that the hard part of my waves get's shorter in Duration.. so that could be wishfully dreaming or reality.. let's see.. 

I know that those waves aren't clock work ūüėÖūüėÖ

 

But in my last wave ( Probably a good 7-8 day's), the hard part was 5 day's.. 

 

And now I guess it's shorter.. let's see.. 

 

2 month ago the waves where a good 2 week's. And very strong 2 week's!!

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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The unpredictability of all this is the norm.  That's why it makes it harder on us when we try to figure it out or make a pattern.  Just try to learn some of the coping skills to get through the moment.  That has helped me.  You are doing great! 

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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@Moonpie

Yes, but on the other hand it helps to see thing's like the waves are getting better and the hard Part get's in average shorter.. 

 

So I hope that I am next year at that time, a normal functioning human.

 

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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The only pattern, I can find I this WD process is: The hard times are happening less often, until they vanish.. than the okay/manageable times start to experience the same pattern... 

 

And at that point, where the bullsh*t is mor or less calibrated.. the rest of the system Will be also able to adapt to the "normal" function's . 

 

So that's why I shouldn't be sad when old symptoms like dizziness or so come Back.. it's just my brain/body recalibrating to a new fix it has made. 

 

As more and more times goes by, the ups and downs will level out.. and the whole system will be able to calibrate correctly..

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Hey guy's, I am so incredible fatigue from this process.. 

I was improving over the last 8 week's. 

 

And now since 10 day's it's like gone.. 

I have no energy anymore to do through that nightmare hour by hour by hour by hour.. 

 

I need a break. A relief. I am doing this now 12 1/2 month and slowly I loose a little bit of hope. 

 

Because I am million years away of feeling good in any way.. I don't have the energy to get a new emotion/feeling every 10 minutes..

 

Can somebody please tell me, that it will stop at some point.. 

 

I am so exhausted. So incredible exhausted.. 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@Moonpie

@Erimus

@KenA

@Armorall

 

Guy's, I can't do it anymore.. 

All me improvements I made over the last 8 week's are gone.. I have that wave now for 10 day's and I loose hope.. Because I didn't had such a strong wave for a long time.. 

 

Did anyone of you, who recovered... had such a Setback out of nowhere?!

 

I am so hoples! 

 

I am at the one year mark:

And to be honest, on a day like today,

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Hi jonah2001, I feel how you're feeling. Don't make any decisions when you're in this low state. I know it's just ****. But it will pass. Find things to comfort yourself if you can. 

Aug.22.2019 20mg | July.4.2019 20.5mg | May.16.2019 22mg | Mar.28.2019 23.5mg | Feb.7.2019 25mg | Dec.20.2018 26.5mg | Nov.1.2018 28.5mg | Sept.13.2018 30.5mg | July.26.2018 32mg | June.7.2018 33.5mg | Apr.19.2018 35.14mg | Mar.1.2018 37mg | Jan.11.2018 39mg | Nov.2.2017 41mg. | Sept.21.2017 stepping down to 43mg. Aug.10.17 45mg. | June 1.17 47mg.| Apr.20.17 50mg | Feb.12.17 53mg  | Jan.1.17 56mg | Nov.9.16 59mg | Sept.1.16 62mg | June 16 .16 65mg.  May 21 2016 Stepped down to Venlafaxine 70mg. 

April 22 2016 switched from Venlafaxine XR 75mg to: different brand, Venlafaxine non-extended release 75mg. Been taking Effexor XR 75mg. many years. Tried reducing last year, began having bad side effects. 

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Jonah, your body is healing all the time. It is healing on better days and it is healing on terrible days. None of us know how long it will take but we do know that very slowly things will improve with time. The windows will get better and longer and the waves shorter.

 

It’s torture but there really is no other option. We have to trust our mind and body as it works this problem out.

Nothing I say or do is based on medical advice. I make my own choices based on intuition gained through individual research, and a lot of suffering.
 

‚ÄúThe good thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way out is up.‚ÄĚ
 

Sertraline (Lustral): 50mg October 2020; 100mg December 2020; 50mg April 2021; 75mg May 2021; 50mg 18 September 2021; big crash 6 December 2021

Current dose: 50mg (August 2022)

Mirtazapine (Generic): 15mg November 2020

Current dose: 15mg (August 2022)

Amitriptyline (Generic): 20mg Dec 2016 for epigastric pain; 10mg Dec 2017; 10mg every third day Sep 2018; 0mg Oct 2018

 

Supplements: Ashwagandha; Magnesium Citrate

Lifestyle: No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine

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Hi Jonah  I am sorry you are having such a difficult time . I know it is hard to go into a wave after having a good window.. You are very blessed to be having these windows. Nothing is wrong and you haven't lost progress. Your body is still balancing and healing.  Whatever progress your body made it is still there whether you are feeling it or not. The waves are part of it. Yes I had been through it many times. And I'm even facing some of it right now. You will heal. Try not to look at  your waves as something that you have gone backwards are lost progress. That is not true it means you are making progress.. Please don't give up. Hang in there.  

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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@Erimus 

I exactly had that pattern.. My waves fo shorter and shorter.. 

The last one was only 5-6 day's.. 

 

And now I am having this monster since 11 day's. And it didn't changes..

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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A 5 or 6 day wave is an amazing blessing!  

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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I think in 5-6 months if you look back on how you feel now you will notice big improvements. It’s a game of patience, it tests to see how long you can cope. Hopefully it isn’t too hot in Germany Jonah! 

Nothing I say or do is based on medical advice. I make my own choices based on intuition gained through individual research, and a lot of suffering.
 

‚ÄúThe good thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way out is up.‚ÄĚ
 

Sertraline (Lustral): 50mg October 2020; 100mg December 2020; 50mg April 2021; 75mg May 2021; 50mg 18 September 2021; big crash 6 December 2021

Current dose: 50mg (August 2022)

Mirtazapine (Generic): 15mg November 2020

Current dose: 15mg (August 2022)

Amitriptyline (Generic): 20mg Dec 2016 for epigastric pain; 10mg Dec 2017; 10mg every third day Sep 2018; 0mg Oct 2018

 

Supplements: Ashwagandha; Magnesium Citrate

Lifestyle: No alcohol, nicotine or caffeine

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  • Mentor

@jonah2001 Sent you a message. Keep hanging in there. This too shall pass!

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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  • Mentor

@jonah2001I had a 17 day wave one time. I made it through that one. Many many people here have had waves that last even longer and they are still hanging in there! You can do this!!

2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage

2011 - CT Quit Tramadol

2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years

August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP)

September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit

September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit

Drug Free Since October 5th 2019

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I can't go anymore.. I am dieng. I can't go anymore. it doesn't stops.. I am dieng.. it's so terrible I can't talk.. 

 

Those feelings are out of this world. No one could ever live like this for more than an hour.. it's impossible.. I am dieng.. 

 

Please God, help me.. please!

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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3 minutes ago, jonah2001 said:

I can't go anymore.. I am dieng. I can't go anymore. it doesn't stops.. I am dieng.. it's so terrible I can't talk.. 

 

Those feelings are out of this world. No one could ever live like this for more than an hour.. it's impossible.. I am dieng.. 

 

Please God, help me.. please!

 

What's going on, Jonah? Just remember that you have gotten through this so far. And you will get through it. I know it sucks now, but remember that you have had these thoughts before and yet here you are. Hang in there!

-Since 2017-ish I've been on Cymbalta & Mirtazapine. At max dose it was 120mg cymbalta and 45mg mirtazapine. This combo was meant to deal with a depressive episode and it worked. Over the next few years I tapered down from those high doses. I had tried to get off the cymbalta twice and had to reinstate twice. I don't remember when. Maybe 2018? 2019? 

-Since 2020 I've been stable 20mg cymbalta and 7.5mg mirtazapine (this is mainly for sleep now). I have come off of the mirtazapine before without trouble, but still take it occasionally for sleep. 

-August 2nd began taking 10mg prozac as a bridge to attempt to get off cymbalta. Took 10mg for about a week then 20mg for a few days. Stopped taking the cymbalta and was doing okay for a bit, but things didn't seem to get better and maybe have been getting worse. 

-8/25/2021 - 20mg cymbalta and struggling. Stopped the prozac. I'm struggling, but I can probably ride this out if I had to. My concern is that things will continue to get worse, as they seem to be doing. 

-8/29/2021 - things started to get worse. Probably prozac withdrawal. Reinstated 20mg prozac. 

-9/2/2021 - 20mg cymbalta, 5mg prozac, 7.5 mg mirtazapine --> 9/24/2021 - 20mg cymbalta, 5mg prozac, 3.75 mg mirtazapine --> 11/7/2021 - 20mg cymbalta, 3.75mg prozac, 3.75 mg mirtazapine --> 4/24/2022 - 20mg cymbalta, 3.75mg prozac   --> 6/5/2022 - 20mg cymbalta, 3.33mg prozac

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to jonah2001: last dose duloxetine 6 1/2 month ago
  • Moderator Emeritus

What some other members say about waves is that after they have had a lovely window the next wave feels worse than previous waves, and that this is probably because of the contrast of feeling good (and of course hoping that it would stay that way) and then feeling bad (which of course causes a lot of disappointment, frustration and possibly anger - these all add more stress which slows recovery).

 

When we feel worse it always feels like it will never end.

 

When we feel better we always wish it would last forever.

 

If you have posted previously about your windows then I suggest that you got back to the beginning of your Intro topic and read through it.  This might help you to see that even though things feel bad now, that it happened before and it got better.

 

And it is more helpful to compare how you feel now to how you felt at your worst, not how you felt at your best or how you want to feel.

 

SA strongly encourages members to use non drug coping skills to get through the difficult times. 

 

Q:  What non drug coping techniques are you trying?

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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That was the live of a 21 year old guy. Killed by psychiatry!

 

A man who had dreams ūüė≠

 

 

**** you psychiatry! I am done with you mother****ers! 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Ohh man, I don't know what I am writing for a bullsh*t in a wave.. 

 

15 day's now in this wave.. what a beast.. I hope it will end soon. I hate it. What a bullsh*t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wave is gone. 

Sun shines again. 

 

WD is a human made hell! 

 

I am seeing improvements. 

 

Felt complete normal for the first time, for a day. 

 

Next year at that time I will be over it! 

 

It's incredible, what a hell this is! 

 

But nothing can beat me! I am strong. After that, I can survive everything.. 

 

 

I recognized, I can even stand under completely cold shower and can completely ignore it... I get so ******* strong through this bullsh*t. 

 

I could burn my feet when I want and don't move. Because WD felt for many month like I am burning! No joke!

 

I am stronger than strong. 

 

I am a strong mother****ers after that. 

 

It's like getting super power, because you survive hell. 

 

Hell, is not even the right word. 

 

It's like sitting in a fire, while somebody is killing your whole family. You lose everything.. 

 

That's how WD feels like! 

 

And when you are able to survive that.. you are a ******* strong mother****er ūü§£

 

 

But I am ******* happy when the suffering is over in 12 month! 

 

Nothing can stop me!

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@jonah2001

I honestly have tears in my eyes from reading this. I think I may print it out and put it on my wall to see.

 

This IS the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

 

I am so glad you are feeling better and to get a whole day of feeling normal? I wish I could hug you! 

 

 

ūüė™Zoloft 20mg 2/21, BuSpar ( bad reaction)¬†

Klonopin 1mg 2/21 CT Zoloft in hospital put on Remeron, clonodine and Trazadone 75mg 3/21 Taken off Remeron & Clonodine 3/21 put on Prozac 20mg.

Klonopin .50mg take .25mg twice daily 

8/21 crosstapered to Lexapro (highest dose 25mg) Tapered Trazadone 7/21

1/22 tapered down from 25mg to  10mg Lexapro in 3 weeks. (still holding at 10mg)

started Effexor 37.5. ( on Effexor total 5 weeks)

2/22 told to stop Effexor and go directly to 20mg Cymbalta for two weeks. 3/5/22 30mg Cymbalta.
Estradiol .5mg 2016

Started liquid Lexapro 5/10/22

Back to pull form Lexapro 5/22/22 (couldn’t tolerate liquid) 

*Resumed Lexapro 10mg BMS Taper on 6/27/22 2.5% =126mgpw July 9 -2.5%= 123mppw 9.50mg

7/29/2022 increased Klonopin to .75mg 8/1/22 back to .50mg Klonopin (body didn't like the increase)

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@Ninabird

Thank you ūüíst

We all will heal. 

It's just takes a long long time. 

It's an every day fight. 

But it get's better. 

 

The old me is still inside me. 

 

And I think when I can feel good one day, I can feel good two day's and so on. 

 

So I have to be patient, go through this day by day. 

 

I know that 2022 is just a year to get through! 

 

I still have most of the day symptoms. 

But they are getting better in average. The only thing what is hard.. are the waves. And they can come all the time.

 

So, I wish I could skip the next 8 month!

 

But that's not possible. 

 

 

But I start to have back dreams and visions!

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Thank you for the update!  So happy to hear you are doing well!  

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

Link to comment
On 8/5/2022 at 2:13 PM, jonah2001 said:

@Ninabird

Thank you ūüíst

We all will heal. 

It's just takes a long long time. 

It's an every day fight. 

But it get's better. 

 

The old me is still inside me. 

 

And I think when I can feel good one day, I can feel good two day's and so on. 

 

So I have to be patient, go through this day by day. 

 

I know that 2022 is just a year to get through! 

 

I still have most of the day symptoms. 

But they are getting better in average. The only thing what is hard.. are the waves. And they can come all the time.

 

So, I wish I could skip the next 8 month!

 

But that's not possible. 

 

 

But I start to have back dreams and visions!

Hang in there sweetheart, we are all in the same boat. Keep paddling, stay afloat, and let the Lord be your life preserver ‚̧ԳŹ

Chlo‚̧

‚ÄĘCelexa 40mg 1999-2021‚ÄĘCOVID August 2021‚ÄĘCelexa stopped working‚ÄĘZoloft 100mg Sept21'-Oct21'‚ÄĘZoloft did not work ‚ÄĘLexapro10mg Oct21'-Nov21'

‚ÄĘLexapro did not work

‚ÄĘLexapro 5mg Nov21'-1/17/22 switched to Lexapro liquid form 5mg-1/18/22‚ÄĘ4.75mg 1/19 ‚ÄĘ4.5mg 1/25‚ÄĘ4.25mg 2/1‚ÄĘ4.0mg 2/8

‚ÄĘ3.75mg 3/28‚ÄĘ3.5mg 5/23

‚ÄĘ3.25mg 5/30‚ÄĘ3.0mg 6/19

‚ÄĘ2.75mg 6/26‚ÄĘ2.5mg 7/10‚ÄĘ2.45mg 7/18‚ÄĘ2.40mg 7/25‚ÄĘ 2.35mg 8/1-current

‚ÄĘMirtazapine 15mg @ night Nov 2021-current‚ÄĘOmeprazol 40mg am 2017-2/6/22‚ÄĘOmeprazol 30mg am 2/13‚ÄĘ20mg am 2/14/22-current ‚ÄĘAtorvastatin 20mg pm

‚ÄĘMagnesium Glycinate 400mg

‚ÄĘC‚ÄĘOmega3‚ÄĘD3‚ÄĘProbiotic¬†

‚ÄĘTreatment resistant for Anxiety, Panic disorder, & Depression.

I don't know much, but 3 things I do. There is a God. His word is true. Stay close to Him and He will bring you through. AmenūüôŹ

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I had the best window ever! 

 

Felt almost normal! 

 

Have a muscle wave again.. but it's definitely not that strong. So just have to go through that..

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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Keep going, Jonah. We all know withdrawal is terrible and so unfair, but it is the way things will be for a while, but ONLY for a while. Our lives will be different one day. We will feel well one day. You are young, and your entire life is in front of you waiting for you to pursue all your hopes and dreams. This withdrawal process, as awful as it feels, is just a very small part of your life's story. When you think you can't go on even one more day, remember than in time, all of your suffering will be just a distant memory. Love to you.

Prozac 10mg 1990-1999

Effexor XR 75 mg capsules 1999-present

Began slow taper removing beads - 

6/7 - 6/10 Effexor 73.2mg           6/11-6/14  Effexor 72.9mg   had nightmares, tinnitus, anxiety;

6/15- Effexor XR 72.6mg             6/16 - 6/20 Effexor XR 72.8  had nausea, heart palpitations, anxiety, tinnitus

6/22-7/4 hold Effexor XR 72.9-73.1          7/5-7-11  Effexor XR 72.62

7/11-present After experiencing symptoms, I am holding at 72.9-73.0 but still have symptoms

 

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Thank you @rmce72a! 

 

It's a terrible journey. 

and I know, that it will take a good 18-24 month. 

but now I see I am improving. 

 

had a very good window for almost a week. Where I had many hours (20), where I felt close to my normal Jonah. 

 

This window, I am not sure, but it feels little bit less intense in average. Like the feelings aren't so intense and driving me crazy.. I am not sure if that's wishfull thinking of reality.. Hope the second one..

 

I just want to make that motorcycle trip so bad!

 

Next march I will be at that point! 

 

it's so crazy: when you are in a window, everything feels so easy.. and I think I am almost there. And than the wave comes and you think: Wow, Stil ways to go. 

 

This sound's probability wired: but the WD Intrusive thoughts are getting a little bit less intense. So I don't freak out and just cope..

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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@jonah2001 I am so proud of you! You are doing great. You have come so far so quickly in coping and having a right mindset.

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

Link to comment

It's definitely easier to cope.. when you don't have the feeling to die ūü§£ūü§£¬†

 

But today I am in a wave. Like the last 4 day's.. but I have the feeling, that the waves are getting lighter.. it's hard to describe.. but I don't get crazy in a wave.. it's like: 

 

Uhh, this is aweful.. but I can deal with it in some way.. even able to enjoy the day with the family.. still suffering.. but not that bad..

 

I hope, that's the beginning of the end of this WD bullsh*t journey.. 

 

Symptoms I still have: 

Mental stuff/ derealization.

W/ Intrusive thoughts (product from those bullsh*t feelings) 

 

Fatigue/vegetative Problems.. 

 

And some other mini stuff.. 

 

The last window I had, lasted 7 day's. 

 

Now I am in a milder wave for the last 4 day's. 

23.11.2020 - 06.07.2021 Duloxetin

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According to all I have read from Alto, ChessieCat, Brassmonkey and many others, this sounds like you are doing what they call healing. I am still early in my journey, but I am also having better windows and the waves don't seem so intense. Don't misunderstand. The waves are still terrible, but I seem to be tolerating them better. Maybe I have just learned to accept what is happening. Part of it, I'm sure, is that I have been holding for 6 weeks. Never underestimate the value of the holds!  Take care and be strong. I have to better days are ahead.

Prozac 10mg 1990-1999

Effexor XR 75 mg capsules 1999-present

Began slow taper removing beads - 

6/7 - 6/10 Effexor 73.2mg           6/11-6/14  Effexor 72.9mg   had nightmares, tinnitus, anxiety;

6/15- Effexor XR 72.6mg             6/16 - 6/20 Effexor XR 72.8  had nausea, heart palpitations, anxiety, tinnitus

6/22-7/4 hold Effexor XR 72.9-73.1          7/5-7-11  Effexor XR 72.62

7/11-present After experiencing symptoms, I am holding at 72.9-73.0 but still have symptoms

 

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