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Nikki

Daughter Problems

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Nikki

I'd like to vent please....My daughter and I had an argument about a week ago. Since then, she has been staying at her boyfriend's home and does not speak to me. This morning she was here and I asked her if she would ever speak to me and she told me to F off and gave me two middle fingers. She said she is moving as soon as possible.

 

She has anger issues. I have co-dependency issues. This hurt very much as we have always been very close.

 

She has been difficult to live with. And God knows I have had my share of issues in the last few years.

 

I know that it is time for her to move on and it's time for me to learn how to live alone.

She is very disrespectful and I never spoke to my mother like she speaks to me.

 

It's things like this that make me feel relieved that I am not tapering. Panic starts to set in, sadness and feelings of loneliness creep up. Although I need to respect these feelings, I must remember how crude and disrespectful she can be.

 

Hugs

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angie007

Awww Nikki,

 

I really feel for you hun, having had 3 girls myself, i know how spiteful and disrespectful they can be, your right, we were never allowed to speak to our mothers in that way!!!

Just shows how society has changed the way kids behave today, and we as parents pay the price for that mistake too.

 

Dont beat yourself up Nik, its nothing you have done wrong, just the way kids seem to be today.

She will be back when the going gets tough and it will, trust me, the grass is NOT greener on the other side, you will be close again !! (( hugs))

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Nikki

Thanks Angie....

 

Angie you took 56 months to taper? Was is an easy taper due to the length of time it took?

 

A close friend reminded me that this happens with my daughter. She blows up, is very mean and then it blows over. Hurts anyway. She behaves alot like her father, rageful.

 

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I never took a firm stand on unacceptable behavior and should have done that years ago. Hindsight. Have always felt bad about her father being mean to her and never wanted her to experience the kind of pain he doles out, soooo I did not discipline.

 

I walked on eggshells with him and I am doing the same thing with her. Walking on eggshells is anxiety producing

 

My friend suggested (from experience) to let it go. Leave her alone, don't ask questions, and hopefully things will turn around.

 

She was 12 when we separated and 3 when we divorced. Not such a good age. We've been like sisters and her relationship with her dad has been strained over the last 10 years.

 

When things aren't right with my daughter I feel lousy :(

 

Any advise welcome.

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angie007

Aww Nikki,

 

Im so sorry to hear this, i know how kids are as i told you earlier.

They break our arms when they're small and our hearts when they're grown- tis a true saying, i know from experience.

Of course you feel lousy when things arent right with your daughter, confrontation from anyone will do that to you in wd, let alone someone you love and care for, thats as close as your own daughter. Kids think " we as parents " are old, we dont know anything about anything- especially teen things lol.

 

If its any consolation to you at all, we have all had difficult stuff happen with our children, that has broken our hearts more times than i care to admit, i know i have, it happens hun, they maybe our kids, but we cant always see eye to eye, they have a right to think how they choose, unfortunately they dont always make right decisions or choices, and they fire off at us, if and when we disagree, without even thinking.... hang on, mum has my best interests at heart here.

 

I know it feels like the end of your world now, but honestly, let things calm down, give her some space, she will contact you - things said in a row are very often NOT meant,

she will probably apologise when she has had chance to dampen the fire down ------her gob lol.

She may have inherited traits from her father that you see, that your not too keen on either, it happens, but dont beat yourself up about discipline, as parents we can only do, THE VERY BEST JOB WE CAN DO for our kids, and that is to show them the right path in life, WE CAN DO NO MORE.

They then choose which way to go, we cannot do that for them, and hey, this is how kids learn, by making mistakes.

Sit tight and do nothing, she will be back------ promise, much as she has upset you, she still needs her mum, and i know -you will be there for here.

 

As regards wd==== yes i slow tapered for 56 months, i was on paxil for over 14yrs, it wasnt an easy taper no!!! but it compares vastly to cold turkey, which i unknowingly did ill informed in 05, it was my docs method to get me off after displaying symptoms of tolerance at 30mg dose, fool of a man, i learned the hard way, slow is best, your doing fine by the way .

(((hugs)))

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Nikki

Angie...

 

I tried tapering from Celexa twice, very recently. On both occasions I stopped and went back to my original dose of 40mgs. I have shared in other posts, that the emotional aspect of WD and how distorted by thinking becomes is what made me stop the taper.

 

I too took Paxil. Could not get off of it so I switched to Lexapro which I did taper from over 2 years. No easy task. During those 56 months were you in a chronic state of WD or did you have good windows and the not so good windows?

 

And most important ~ how do you feel now that you are paxil free. On Seroxatmad, I had a friend who took a few years to get off paxil by doing it in miniscule drops in dose and she feels alot better than she ever did while on it.

 

She really hasn't had Protracted WD.

 

Thanks again.

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angie007

Hi NIkki,

 

The emotional part and distorted thinking is part of the wd, and yes its not nice, i experienced that too -something i never ever had prior to paxil.

It certainly is not an easy drug to get rid of, but i dont think any of this class of drug is.

During my 56 month taper yes i experienced chronic wd, i found each drop was different in some way, there were drops where the symptoms werent so bad, and others where they were just horrific,

can i say this to you ----------- MY experience most likely WILL NOT BE YOURS, please dont think that some others have terrible times, that you will too.

It may not be easy, but it may not necessarily be horrific either, if you go nice and slow and listen to your body im certain you will be just fine.

 

If you read my story here, and i was down to 2mg when this site opened ( prior to that i was at paxil progress) you will note that i had some better windows and many waves also.

 

I have now been paxil free for over 14 months, the first 3 months werent great, 3/6 was slightly better in some respects, 6/9 produced various horrible symptoms with many waves,

9/12 started to see more windows. Since the 12mth mark, things have gotten considerably better - NOT GOOD, just better with many many good days, but due to marital problems and now a recent split -it has ramped up some stuff for me that i havent had in good while, so my emotions are naturally all over the place , die to the situation, so i cant blame paxil entirely, although sometimes i question wether it plays some part. And no!!! we didnt split over wd issues.

So yes iv had a lot to deal with since i became paxil free, i had 2 grandbabies last year, 2 of my daughters got married - which i freaked over, thinking i just would never be able to do it.

I did it all , it was not symptom free, but i managed somehow lol.

This year I have 2 more grandbabies due, one in a months time, did a 2 week holiday to jamaica with no problems, had issues with my husband with situational depression and anxiety and now this recent split, ( its not over -we are just taking some time out) although its very stressful and im managing to deal with the fall out from that too, plus run a home, pay bills, cook, clean, launder, gardening.

All this, from someone who one year ago was unable to leave her house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a year ago, i never believed it was possible to ever be able to do any of these things again,

im here to tell you ------------IT IS, it takes determination, the will power to survive and more TIME than you ever thought possible.

But you will and can do it, trust in yourself and your bodies ability to heal ----------because it can and it will.

 

Hope your daughter has contacted you, or at least your feeling some way better? would be nice to live a stress free life wouldnt it?? especially as wd is stressful enough, but these things are sent to try us lol.

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Barbarannamated

Nikki,

 

Im so sorry you're having problems with your daughter. I dont have kids and have had this odd feeling that I still think a bit like a kid and some like an adult. Stuck between the worlds.

 

I think that when we know we need to make a break from someone but are having a hard time, we create a reason, an argument, an impasse. It may be real or imagined, have a grain of truth that's exaggerated to facilitate or force the difficult break.

 

Just a gut feeling, Nikki.

 

{{{HUGS}}}

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Nikki

angie what was your name on the other website? I was there back in 2007 - 2006. I think :huh:

 

Thanks for sharing your story with me. Someone once told me that a separation is a good time to open windows and let the stale air out and let the new air in. A separation/split or time apart to sort things thru is gut-wrenching and I feel for you. Been there. At the time it happened to me I was on Paxil.

 

Your plate is full and was full during your taper. As I read your story I thought, OMG this woman is amazing. How the heck did she do it? I could not go on as you did. I freak out too much over the anxiety/depression this stuff or lack thereof, brings on.

 

Pray for the best possible outcome for you and your husband. I am here any time if you need.

My email is celestial919@bellsouth.net and you can private message me too.

 

Barb....so glad you are home. How are you feeling? Yes you are right about causing an argument to be able to leave. I am really worried. My daughter is not herself. She is full of anger towards me. She just isn't my Nicole.

 

She has lots on her plate and has for the last several years. She has an autoimmune illness

Interstitial Cystitis. She became addicted to pain medication and then weaned off. There are other issues too which she brought into her life. Like poor choices of boyfriends.

 

Her father is a another problem due to his anger, and verbal abuse.

 

I think the only thing we want is for our kids to be happy, secure and free from all the 'stuff' that we had. I tell myself if I didn't marry her Dad she wouldn't be here. It's the only way I can get over the guilt of how lousy he can be.

 

She takes Imipramine and said that it isn't helping anymore with anxiety. She has used benzos in the past and I don't like this whole pill thing.

She has experienced WD from Imipramine when she forgot to take it.

 

A few weeks back when she took a nose dive, she said she was tapering and cut it by 50mgs.

Maybe this is why her behavior changed so drastically. She seems better now.

 

I just never know.........

 

Nikki

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