Fabio: Paroxetine withdrawal after 18 years

[Fabio]

Diagnosis: generalized anxiety disorder and treatment-resistant depression. (Possibly, according to the therapist's latest amnanesis, post-traumatic stress disorder due to a family conflict in early childhood and adolescence.) I'm undergoing psychotherapeutic and psychiatric treatment.

 

Hi everyone,

 

I took paroxetine 20 mg for more than 18 years from 2002 to September 2020. The reason for the onset of depressive anxiety disorder at age 18 was, on the one hand, tinnitus (which first appeared on my 18th birthday probably as a result of a high dose of ecstasy and persists to this day) and, on the other hand, probably mainly due to severe family conflicts and violence in my childhood and adolescence. For me it's important to say that I used ecstasy occasionally at the age of 16-18, but have not used ecstasy or any other drug since, with the exception of cannabis for sleep disorders (unfortunately also street and non-pure cannabis).

 

The psychiatrist at the time assured me that I could take paroxetine for the rest of my life. Last year, however, I decided that I no longer wanted to be dependent on the drug and its side effects, and following positive professional experiences, I gradually stopped taking it under medical supervision from February until September 2020. Unfortunately, however, stopping the medication began a nightmare that continues to this day, completely limiting my life....

 

About 2 months after stopping paroxetine completely, the anxiety and depression returned with greater intensity. My psychiatrist at the time recommended that I should start therapy with a new SSRI, which I started in February 2021.  First sertraline, which my body completely rejected making me feeling bad, and then citalopram in combination with lorazepam to be taken three times a day. But instead of an improvement in my condition, I only suffered from worse and worse side effects. The depression and anxiety continued unabated not being able to sleep for about 2 weeks, it was as if my body could no longer tolerate the SSRIs and SNRIs and the benzodiazepines did little to nothing.

After about four months of citalopram therapy, I slowly stopped taking the antidepressant again. Although there was a brief improvement in my condition, by the end of August (when I had completely stopped the citalopram but not the lorazepam) I was so sick again that the therapist recommended that I switch to trazodone in combination with alprazolam. However, the therapy did not work completely, except for an improvement in appetite, otherwise I was feeling terrible and did not sleep completely for about 2 months. In those days I began to suffer from severe joint pain (especially in the knees), I could hardly walk, visual disturbances, paresthesias, confusion, fatigue, severe general malaise, things I had never experienced before. 

 

Since October 18, 2021, again under medical advice I switched to mirtazapine 30 mg (in combination with clonazepam 10 drops twice a day). After two months of minimal improvement (mainly an improvement in sleep disturbances), my new psychiatrist recommended that I return to paroxetine 10 mg, initially combined with mirtazapine reduced to 15 mg. But again, my body heavily rejected this combination and my overall condition degenerated again. So after 20 days he stopped taking paroxetine again and I started to feel a little "better" and went back to taking 30 mg of mirtazapine and 10 drops of clonazepam (5 in the morning, 5 in the evening). Since about 2 weeks, under the advice of a new psychiatrist (since the previous one didn't believe that SSRIs made me feel worse) I changed therapy and I take amisulpride 25 mg in the morning, mirtazapine 15 mg in the evening and clonazepam 5 drops three times a day. Sometimes in the evening I smoke a little pure cannabis without tobacco and I feel much better, most of the symptoms ease up a lot but I don't know if it's the right way.

 

Even if my condition has improved a little, the depression and the strong anxiety continue, I can't handle even the slightest bit of stress of any kind and immediately my condition and symptoms get much worse. All this makes my life invalidating, I can not feel good alone or in social situations and of course I can not work at all for 2 years.

 

The main symptoms are:

 

- Persistent physical and mental exhaustion and fatigue.

 

- Burning sensation and heaviness in the head and eyes (especially the left eye)

 

- Blurred vision (excluding organic causes, diagnosed by an ophthalmologist)

 

- Recurrent joint pain (especially in the knees)

 

- Recurrent limb tremors

 

- Paresthesias

 

- Dizziness

 

- Hypersalivation

 

- Tachycardia

 

Obviously the more I stress and get tired the more the symptoms get worse.

 

I would like to know if anyone has had a similar situation to mine and if anyone can tell me what is happening and what I can do to improve my condition and get my life back in hand.

 

Thanks in advance to everyone

 

Fabio

 

Edited February 2, 2022 by ChessieCat
added spacing

[Santino]

Hi Fabio

Welcome to the group.

Please update also the signature in your profile showing the history and doses of each drug that you have taken so moderators and others will know better the levels of the drugs you were in. 

The only recommended tapering method that we advice in this group is the reduction of at most 10% of the current drugs level every month. You have undergone different changes of drugs during your time being so it is important to be at a stable level before you decide to taper. 

Anyway i hope other moderators will hope in with good advices on how you can proceed with your process.
 

All the best

Santino

[Fabio]

Thanks Santino, is that okay?

 

Edited February 2, 2022 by ChessieCat
Resized font

[ChessieCat]

Thank you for creating your drug signature.

 

As Santino wrote you have made a lot of changes during both 2020 (fast, not a slow, taper off paroxetine) and 2021 (many drug changes).

 

Q:  Do you want to taper any of your drugs?

 

Q:  If yes, do you have a plan of what you want to do and how you want to do this?

 

When there have been a lot of changes then it is generally a good idea not to change anything and give your brain time to regain homeostasis (which it is always trying to do).  

 

Please see the following which might help you to understand what is happening:

Brain Remodelling

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

What is Happening in Your Brain

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Stability

 

SA strongly encourages members to learn and use non drug coping skills:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

[ChessieCat]

On 2/2/2022 at 6:57 AM, Fabio said:

The main symptoms

 

There are many existing topics on SA.  Many of the ones you listed have a topic.  To find them you can use the site search function or use an internet search engine and add site:survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.