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Pollyjay: need support


Pollyjay

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On 2/13/2022 at 12:23 PM, Pollyjay said:

Also the doc had me start serequel a couple of night ago.

 

Please add the dose/s and date/s to your drug signature.  Thank you:

 

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  • 1 month later...

@ Altostrata 

 

I'm sorry. I haven't updated. I've been too sick to wrap my mind around posting. Everything is a bit of a fog but I've updated my signature as best I could. I'm in a bit of a pickle with multiple meds and the doctor wanting me to just jump off some of them. I've been too afraid to do that.

 

The doc has been swapping and changing ADs  to the point I said "no more". The side effects were just too much and preventing me from eating what little I could force down. He agreed to Propranolol to help the anxiety. It keeps my heart rate down but the anxiety is still there. He has since - reluctantly- added Ativan at the request of my new therapist. ( I finally have one!!) She couldn't believe they hadn't given me anything specifically for anxiety since it was just so severe.  

 

I cut the Seroquel as you suggested ( but went slower). Thank you.  I'm below a quarter pill. I've been there for about 15 days. Do you think I can jump off it soon? I started 25mg around Feb 19 but cut to 3/4 pill right away for about 3 days, then 1/2 for a week or so. 

 

The doctor started me on Lunesta 1mg for sleep. I took the  full dose for 14 days but awoke one morning with an ocular migraine ( squiggly lines, glistening colors and shapes and the inability to remember the names of our pets or family members, or where I lived. It was terrifying. He wanted me to jump off it right away but I was too scared. I cut down to a half pill for a week or so and now I'm at around a quarter. ( using a scale but not sure of the exact dose.)  

 

The Doctor wants me on just Propranolol and Ativan. He wants me to increase the Ativan to a whole .5 mg pill at bedtime and a half pill (.25mg) as needed during the day. It's just that I'm not sure how quickly I should stop the Lunesta and Seroquel - or if it's safe to increase the Ativan yet.  

 

The 2.5 Ativan twice a day was helping somewhat. I was making improvements. Had a little appetite ( I'm up to 99 lbs)  Getting outside and helping my husband a little with the farm chores/feeding. ( after 2 months in bed shaking all day) however I had a major set back this week when our only son was almost killed in a tornado. The house he was in was almost totally destroyed.  I can't stop crying and the anxiety is through the roof. The Ativan is barely helping. His leaving home to take a job hundreds of miles away  is one of the reasons I went into this decline in the first place. He has epilepsy and I worry about him so much. Of course it has had a huge impact on him too and he's all alone down there.  He's in temporary lodging right now but has managed to secure a new apartment and will move in next week. This has really set me back. I don't know what's me worrying, what's the meds or if some of it is withdrawal.  

 

I would appreciate any advice.

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

I was finally able to get a therapist (online) 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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Thought I'd start a diary as I'm no longer sure how much of my symptoms are med related or grief etc. I've been in almost constant anxiety/panic since the end of October. It usually gets worse in the late afternoon and eases up around 20:30, but the past few days I've been getting increased anxiety in the late morning also.

 

Last night I lowered the Lunesta from a scale weight of 0.039 to 0.037 

 

Sunday 27 March Sunny, windy and very cold day.

 

0830 Slept quite well. Up one time in night to use the bathroom.  Took Levothyroxine and Propranolol .5 mg

0930 Drank Boost. Went outside with husband to feed farm animals. 

1030 Feeling anxious, Abdominal pain, back to the bathroom three times. Loose stools. ( this has been going on since I started Seroquel in early February.

10:45 Took dogs for walks. 

11:30 Still very anxious, feeling terrible grief/ crying over Dad and missing our son who's far away. So many reminders of them both everywhere I look.

!2:00 Couldn't stop crying. Anxiety, tremors. Needing to talk to someone. Called Mother in Law.  She prayed for me and tried to calm me. Encouraged me to get something to eat as my appetite is still not good.

12:30 Ate egg and bacon 

13:00  Continued Anxiety/ tremors Took Ativan .25  Husband suggested we drive to town ( about 45 minutes away) to get my mind off things.  

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

Please stop changing your drugs. Every time you change a drug, that can cause chaos in your symptom pattern for weeks.

 

I need to see how you feel before and after taking each drug, with your symptom pattern all day long. Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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@Altostrata

I made some typos yesterday. The Propranolol is 5 mg. The Ativan is 0.25 mg

 

Please note. For the past 5 months since our son left and my Dad died ( and before any meds) I have been unable to cry. Just constant panic/anxiety and like everything was locked up inside. It's only since our son was almost killed by the tornado on 18 February that I have started crying and the last two days have been the worst. 

 

This is the full 24 hour symptom diary for yesterday.

 

Sunday 27 March Sunny, windy and very cold day.

 

0830 - Slept quite well. Up one time in night to use the bathroom.  Took Levothyroxine and Propranolol 5 mg

0930 - Drank BOOST protein drink. Went outside with husband to feed farm animals. 

1030 - Feeling anxious, Abdominal pain, back to the bathroom three times. Loose stools. ( this has been going on since I started Seroquel in early February.

10:45 - Took dogs for walks. 

11:30 - Still very anxious, feeling terrible grief/ crying over Dad and missing our son who's far away. So many reminders of them both everywhere I look.

!2:00 - Couldn't stop crying. Anxiety, tremors. Needing to talk to someone. Called Mother in Law.  She prayed for me and tried to calm me. Encouraged me to get something to eat as my appetite is still not good.

12:30 - Ate egg and bacon 

13:00  - Continued Anxiety/ tremors Took Ativan 0.25  Husband suggested we drive to town ( about 45 minutes away) to get my mind off things.

13:30 - 16:00 Out in town. Much calmer. 

14:30 - Drank BOOST protein drink

1600- Ate dinner ( Fish and Chips) Was able to eat most of it.

16:30 Started to feel internal tremors creeping in. 

17:00 Internal tremors, anxiety and shaking. Started crying in the grocery store, had to leave and we drove home.

18:00 - 19:30  Tremors, anxiety and crying while feeding farm animals and walking dogs.

20:00 - Propranolol 5mg Continued tremors, anxiety and fits of crying.

21:00 - Ativan 0.25

22:00 - Still very anxious with tremors and shaking and crying

22:30 - Seroquel (0.013 scale weight, Less than 1/4 of 25mg pill ) Lunesta (0.037 scale weight, less than 1/2 of 1mg pill)

23;00 - Calmed. Was able to fall asleep

0630 - 08:00 In bed. Calm.

08:00 - Levothyroxin 75mcg

08:30 - Tremors, Jittery. Took Propranolol 5mg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

When did you start Boost protein drink? It appears you might be reacting badly to something in it.

 

At what times o'clock do you usually take Ativan, and dosages? How long have you been taking Ativan on this schedule?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 3/28/2022 at 8:31 PM, Altostrata said:

When did you start Boost protein drink? It appears you might be reacting badly to something in it.

 

At what times o'clock do you usually take Ativan, and dosages? How long have you been taking Ativan on this schedule?

I started drinking BOOST in early November, When I was hit with the severe panic and anxiety my appetite vanished completely. It only recently came back. I was 117 lbs  and went down to 92lbs. It's been such a struggle to eat and gain weight. The Ativan seems to have helped. But now I'm suffering from acid reflux with pain radiating into my back. It's making eating difficult again I'm sure it's from the increased anxiety I've been having this last week due to life events.  :(

 

I've been taking the Ativan on this schedule since I started it on 11 March.

 

I haven't updated my symptom diary yet. The pain in my back and the anxiety make it difficult to concentrate. Our son is in for more tornadoes tonight and I'm just a wreck.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

It appears you may be reacting to something in the Boost supplement. If you stop it, some symptoms might go away. You may be able to substitute something that doesn't have as many additives, such as whey protein.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

It appears you may be reacting to something in the Boost supplement. If you stop it, some symptoms might go away. You may be able to substitute something that doesn't have as many additives, such as whey protein.

I hadn't thought about the BOOST. Do you mean the lower digestive problems? They only started in February when I was put on the Seroquel. I haven't had the abdominal pain or runs  the last two days, which is nice. Now it's the acid reflux, constant burping and pain between my shoulder blades. Zantac wasn't touching it so I started Omeprazole. I'm on the 3rd day of the 14 day treatment but no improvement. Gaviscon isn't helping much either. I'm pretty sure it's the stress and anxiety that's set it off. The pain is pretty intense and comes in kind of squeezing/waves every few seconds.  Having to  sit very still in bed with the heating pad behind me. Lord, I don't know what to eat for the best. A few days ago, I was celebrating that I'd  made it to 100lbs! Now I'm back down to 97lbs. Trying to eat bland things like white rice, banana etc. and relying on the BOOST for protein and vitamins. 

 

Will try to update the diary.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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@Altostrata

 

I just discovered some articles you posted about GERD and Omeprazole etc. Do you think I can stop taking it? It's only been 3 days.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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Monday March 30

 

06:30 am  -Awoke calm 

06:45 am - Omaprazole 20 mg

08:00 am - Thyroxine 75mcg, 

9:00am- BOOST Drink .  Propranolol 5mg, Tremors, jittery, anxious, Stayed in bed. 

11:00am- Ate fried egg.

 

1:00 pm- Online with therapist

1:15-pm Ativan 0.25mg

2:00 pm- BOOST drink, Rice with applesauce.

3:00 pm- Went to grocery store with husband. Calm

 

4:00 pm - Tremors, anxiety, feeling scared.

5:00 pm - Zantac for acid reflux 

5:30 pm - Calmer. Walked dogs 

7:30 pm Ate rice with some cut up chicken Still acid reflux 

8:15 pm- Propranolol 5mg

9:00 pm-Ativan 0.25 mg

9:30 pm - Acid reflux. Pain radiating between shoulder blades.

10:30pm-  Seroquel (0.013 scale weight, Less than 1/4 of 25mg pill )

                       Lunesta (0.037 scale weight, less than 1/2 of 1mg pill)

11:00 pm - Calm but in pain, between shoulders. Bed/sleep

 

Tuesday March 29 

08:00 am - Thyroxine 75mcg,  Slept well. Up once in night, slight anxiety. Pain in back increasing.

9:00am- BOOST Drink .  Propranolol 5mg, Tremors, jittery, anxious, 

10:30am  - Ate rice with applesauce. Anxiety, worry about son. 

11:00am  - Tried house cleaning but became overwhelmed and anxious. Crying.

!2:19pm  - Increased anxiety/panic. Called Mother in Law for prayers.

12:45pm Calmer. Went outside to keep busy. Groomed horse.

1:15pm- Ativan 0.25mg  

2:30 pm - Omepraqzole 20mg

4;50 pm Snack at store. Tremors, anxiety.

5:00 Home. Took 3 tsp Gaviscon

6:00pm - Husband left for meeting. Anxiety increased, afraid to be alone. Went over to neighbor's for a few minutes just to be near someone.

6:30 pm - Ate rice with scrambled egg. 

6:40 pm - Mother in Law called to talk and pray with me,

8:00 pm- Propranolol 5mg

9:00 pm- Ativan 0.25mg Very Anxious due to son being in the path of more tornadoes!

 

10:30pm-  Seroquel (0.013 scale weight, Less than 1/4 of 25mg pill )

                       Lunesta (0.037 scale weight, less than 1/2 of 1mg pill)

Husband reads to me before bed as I've lost the ability to read or listen to music since this all started. His reading helps calm me and get me to sleep.

11:00 pm - Calm but in pain, between shoulders. Bed/sleep

 

Thursday March 31st

 

 

06:45 am - Omaprazole 20 mg

08:00 am - Thyroxine 75mcg, Slept ok.

9:00am- BOOST Drink .  Propranolol 5mg, Pain in back, Burping a lot. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

Yes, you can stop omeprazole after only 3 days.

 

If you feel better with an non-irritating diet, such as chicken and rice, this indicates some of your symptoms are caused by something you're eating. See 

 

Hypersensitivity to drugs, foods, and supplements? 

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

 

Histamine intolerance

 

Quote

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

When was the last time you had your thyroid levels checked? When was the last time your thyroid dosage was adjusted?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Yes, you can stop omeprazole after only 3 days.

 

If you feel better with an non-irritating diet, such as chicken and rice, this indicates some of your symptoms are caused by something you're eating. See 

 

Hypersensitivity to drugs, foods, and supplements? 

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

 

Histamine intolerance

 

 

When was the last time you had your thyroid levels checked? When was the last time your thyroid dosage was adjusted?

 

Thank you for the links. I didn't take the Omeprazole this morning. ( I've never taken it before but was in so much pain)  Last night, my hubby made lamb stew and that seemed to settle things down a lot. I felt much better by the time I went to bed  and also this morning, but it's increasing again now. I ate some left over stew for breakfast but this time it hasn't helped much. I'm losing weight again which worries me a lot. I'm about 96lbs.

 

I usually get this problem if I've had to resort to taking a migraine pill with aspirin, but I haven't taken any for a few weeks. Usually, a day of rice and bland food sorts it out. this is the longest I've ever had this problem and the pain in my back is so intense.  But I've had such high anxiety and panic the last week or two, I don't think I'm digesting things properly. The muscles in my midsection/diaphragm are so tight. I have a hard time relaxing them and getting a deep breath. Plus, with no appetite, my diet isn't that great to begin with. 

 

Thyroid levels were checked January 7th. The doc increased my dose by an extra 25mcg. ( I was taking 50mcg per day with an extra half pill on Mondays and Thursdays. Now, with this additional extra half, I spread them out to Monday, Wednesday and Friday. My Thyroid was checked again in mid February ( a more in-depth test by a different doctor) and everything was at normal levels.

 

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me and offer advice. I very much appreciate all you do for us!

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

It appears you may be suffering from food reactions. If food intolerances are causing these symptoms, perhaps you should eat more that a day or two of bland food. Did you read 

 

Hypersensitivity to drugs, foods, and supplements? 

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

 

Histamine intolerance

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Just an update. I would welcome prayers. I'm all alone for at least a week as my husband has had to go out of state to help our son. We live in the middle of nowhere so I only have one neighbor that I can see, the therapist who I see online once a week and my mother in law who calls me a couple of times a day. She's in another state also. I really feel for all of you who are going through panic and anxiety alone. It's frightening to be alone. I don't know what I would do without my tiny network of caring people.

 

A lot has happened and it has me in an up and down rollercoaster of anxiety and worry. Since our son was almost killed in the tornado that tore apart the little  house he was renting he's been in a very stressful situation of living in temporary places while trying to find a new apartment and at the same time working. He has epilepsy and is on a special low carb, modified KETO diet - thanks to the neurologists at Johns Hopkins hospital in Baltimore - that has kept him stable for nine years now. His last seizure was five years ago after they tried raising his daily carb limit from 20 to 30 carbs per day. Needless to say, the trauma and upheaval have taken their toll on him. And this has caused me to worry and be more anxious. He's had be taken home from work a couple of times due to not feeling well and feeling like he was on the brink of having  a seizure. He also thought it was anxiety. But then he would improve and my nerves would settle down a bit. 

 

Last weekend he worked hard getting all of his belongings out of storage and moved into a beautiful new apartment complex. Finally he could relax and recuperate. I started to have some better days knowing that he was ok. But then Monday he had to leave work early again and that night when we spoke with him on Skype he was complaining of not feeling well, His hands were tingling and the back of his head, Again we put it down to anxiety of everything that had happened and the move, an extremely busy road he has to deal with. He went to work Tuesday and we had a text from him in the morning that he was doing much better. Another sigh of relief and had a much better day anxiety wise. But then later in the afternoon he called us. He was in the hospital! He'd left work to go to the store and had had a seizure while driving!! Thankfully he went off the road into a ditch and neither he nor anyone else was hurt.  

 

Since he's alone and can't drive and the truck needed to be fixed my husband had to leave and head down there ( Florida). So I'm alone here at home with all the farm animals to take care of. I would appreciate any prayers. Up until just last week I haven't been functioning very well and pretty much bedridden. I have done better this week and been able to get outside more. I've forced myself to stay out as long as possible.

 

The anhedonia lifted a little thank goodness!! I was actually able to start reading a book someone sent me. But I still can't listen to music or watch a movie, Definitely can't watch the news or even the weather. I don't know why the weather report raises the anxiety but it does. Today has been a hard day with tremors and spells of crying. It was very cold and dull outside and I was feeling claustrophobic and agitated  in the house. The sun came out around five so I went out and worked with my two donkeys. I've been teaching them to ride. It's one of the only things that I can get lost in for a short time. But thank goodness I have that. For the last six months I've been unable to find any interest or pleasure in anything. I'm normally one of those people who has so many hobbies and interests there aren't enough hours in a day. So having to face long days of nothingness has been very tough. I'm thankful for this small improvement.

 

 

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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@PollyjayYou have my prayers!  I understand how hard it is to be alone and going through this also.  Not to mention the concern for your precious son!  I will be praying for him also.   A mother's heart travels with them when they leave and hurts with them all they face.  I know it is hard to see right now but you are doing amazing with all you are facing. Praying for your peace and comfort and a strong awareness of the  Lord's presence.  Take care.

.025 Xanax 3 x daily  Start date 10-13-2013 through 8-13-2014.  Started tapering 6-2014 to 8-2014.  Some small discomfort. 25 mg Zoloft - Start date 5-1-2014.  50mg. 6-2014.  through 7-14-2014 .  Started tapering  7-14-2014, stopped tapering 10-2014.  I did 1/4 of the dose a month.  small discomfort.  These next 3 were prescribed when I made some seriously bad choices with my thyroid medication.  Was in ER twice for possible heart attack.  INTENSE anxiety, panic, fear.   Lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks.  Thyroid levels bounced to extremes for 8 months. Dr. prescribed Zoloft 50mg  9-2105.  After 2 doses had a bad reaction passed out in my bedroom. Also prescribed Xanax .025  at the same time. 3 times daily, 4 if needed.  Was only on it about 2 weeks.  Was not working.  Trip ER they gave me an Ativan IV and it worked and lasted.  switched to Ativan. 9-24-2016. 1.5 mg Ativan - .5 mg  three x daily -start date 9/24/16.  Attempted taper start 12-16-2016. Was shaving Pills and alternating tapering AM, PM and midday dose weekly.  Buspar .5mg  -2.5mg. am and 2. 5mg. pm start date 9-26-2016 .  Lexapro .10mg  start date  - 10-26-2016. Found SA and began 10/14/2017 tapering .001 gm every 4 days Held longer if there were was WD.    Was very sensitive to Ativan. 3-15-2018 Off midday dose - 7-16-2018 Off PM dose - OFF ATIVAN! 11-17-2018 10 mg. Lexapro. PM - 5 mg start date 10/11/2016 increased to 10 mg 2/2/17. 1-1-2019 Began tapering Lexapro.  .001 gm every 4 days.  Held longer if there was WD.  Last doses some I held a month.  OFF LEXAPRO! 2-21 2021 5 mg. Buspar  divided into two, 2.5 mg doses AM and PM- Start date 9/26/2016 Cold turkey on Dr. direction, PM does.  Reinstated PM dose 9-22 N.P. Desiccated Thyroid.  12-22-17 reduced  from  75 mg. to 67.5 daily,  dose now 60 mg a day. Bioidentical hormones. Bi-est/Prog cream, 1/4 tsp.  1 time daily

My intro: Moonpie:. Need help and supporting tapering off of Ativan

My benzo thread: Moonpie: Need help Ativan weight tapering

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Thank you so much Moonpie!! You worded it so well!  "A mother's heart travels with them when they leave and hurts with them all they face". I'm so glad my husband is there to help him out. He was homeschooled and then attended college locally so he was always home at night. And because of covid, his classes for the final, almost two years were all online at home. So we've been very close for 27 years. My husband was deployed a lot with the military and often times it was just the two of us for a year at a time.  While I was happy and excited that he landed a good job ( he's an ocean engineer) I never imagined that his leaving would affect me the way it has. Just constant panic attack and anxiety. Plus my husband was working away out of state a lot and  then my Dad died. This last six months have been a nightmare.  

 

I woke up with a surge of cortisol this morning but I did sleep good.  I'm still in bed. Having some tremors and anxiety  but I need to get outside and get on with the chores. We may have a new lamb.  Normally, I would be out ther in the middle of the night checking the pregnant mom, but I'm not able to do it this year.

 

It's very cold and breezy,  I'm waiting for the sun to come over the ridge, hoping it will  bring a bit of warmth. Because of the  acid reflux I was having, I dropped back down to 97lbs and really feel the cold. 

 

Prayers are are so very much appreciated!

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

Polly, one thing I've always believed since going through WD and recovery is that God always gives us what we need at the exact moment we need it--not a moment before nor a moment late.  I really didn't see this till I'd gone through recovery and looked back at all the times I thought I couldn't feel worse, and then something happened and I found the strength and determination to give it just one more day.  Its not like winning the lotto; as we know, He often whispers to us instead of shouting, but He's there to pick us up.  Listen for His message and maybe you'll be able to hear it through the storm. You and your son are in my prayers!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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On 4/9/2022 at 10:45 AM, mstimc said:

Polly, one thing I've always believed since going through WD and recovery is that God always gives us what we need at the exact moment we need it--not a moment before nor a moment late.  I really didn't see this till I'd gone through recovery and looked back at all the times I thought I couldn't feel worse, and then something happened and I found the strength and determination to give it just one more day.  Its not like winning the lotto; as we know, He often whispers to us instead of shouting, but He's there to pick us up.  Listen for His message and maybe you'll be able to hear it through the storm. You and your son are in my prayers!

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, mstimc! Your prayers are very much appreciated!

 

I know I'm making improvements and God has brought me a long way. Just a couple of weeks ago I couldn't handle my husband being gone for just a couple of hours, but now he's been down in Florida since last week and I'm managing to take care of all the farm chores. I'm still having lots of tremors and anxiety and terrible crying. But compared to how I have been it's huge improvement. However I find myself gravitating back to bed a lot during the day. I can't handle sitting in a chair downstairs. I get so antsy. The anhedonia is keeping me from being able to get absorbed in my usual hobbies. I'll be so glad to be able to sit quietly and relax with a good book or some knitting. 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

I think we're much better at dealing with the reality of our situation than we are dealing with the anticipation of what might happen.  Once things become real, our thinking minds take over from our anxious thinking. 

 

I don't know if you've read "The Great Divorce" by CS Lewis, but I remember a passage when someone in Heaven is talking to the narrator about the past, and he tells the narrator "What you thought were dry salt pits in the desert were actually pools of cool water." While we're going through it, a crisis can seem like torture, but when we look back, we can see where God lifted us up and kept us going.  I went through WD and recovery while our son was in junior high, and although every day seemed like misery, I can now see I was able to enjoy his concerts with band and just being with him.  Anxiety really clouds our perception.

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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On 4/9/2022 at 10:45 AM, mstimc said:

Polly, one thing I've always believed since going through WD and recovery is that God always gives us what we need at the exact moment we need it--not a moment before nor a moment late.  I really didn't see this till I'd gone through recovery and looked back at all the times I thought I couldn't feel worse, and then something happened and I found the strength and determination to give it just one more day.  Its not like winning the lotto; as we know, He often whispers to us instead of shouting, but He's there to pick us up.  Listen for His message and maybe you'll be able to hear it through the storm. You and your son are in my prayers!

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, mstimc! Your prayers are very much appreciated!

 

I know I'm making improvements and God has brought me a long way. Just a couple of weeks ago I couldn't handle my husband being gone for just a couple of hours, but now he's been down in Florida since last week and I'm managing to take care of all the farm chores. I'm still having lots of tremors and anxiety and terrible crying. But compared to how I have been it's huge improvement. However I find myself gravitating back to bed a lot during the day. I can't handle sitting in a chair downstairs. I get so antsy. The anhedonia is keeping me from being able to get absorbed in my usual hobbies. I'll be so glad to be able to sit quietly and relax with a good book or some knitting. 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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Well I somehow managed to make the same post twice and I'm not sure how to edit or delete post on here.

 

Last night I went to bed feeling so much better. No anxiety, no fear or crying. Was hoping it would carry over into today. I woke up feeling pretty good but then, as I was out feeding the farm animals the anxiety started to creep in. At first it was like the jitters you get when going for a job interview but then it got worse and now I have the tremors and feel scared.My husband called to check on me ( he's still in Florida helping our son) and I started crying again. Yesterday I wept and cried all morning and half the afternoon. I hope I can get through today without going through the same. Is such a feeling of total loss and anguish. I'm doing a bit better right now as I write. 

 

It's a beautiful spring day. I wish I could feel the joy and enthusiasm I usually have on days like this when I'm "normal". 

 

I don't know if this will help someone else but I keep a written diary ( cheap spiral note book) to keep track of my meds and how I'm feeling or just whatever. Some days I'm too anxious to write much but I write out prayers. Prayers for my own healing a prayers for everyone here. I don't know why but it helps me to write them out rather than pray them. And writing helps to calm me down a little. So it's just something else that might help someone reading this. At least I hope it does. My heart aches for all who are going through these awful symptoms. 

 

Now I'm going to go outside and try to do something useful. Oh Lord, please bring me back to normal! I want to be able to enjoy simple things again.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

Polly, you're doing all the right things, especially keeping a journal and trying to focus on doing positive things.  Some days--some hours--will be better or worse than others, but stick with your positive practices.  Staying focused on recovery is the key.  It would be wonderful if recovery was a nice straight upward trajectory, but unfortunately, its more like a roller-coaster.  One great benefit of a journal is it will let you reference how you feel over the long term.  Day-to-day feelings will fluctuate, but if you can use your journal to look back a few months, I bet you'd see gradual improvement.  Continued prayers to you!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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16 minutes ago, mstimc said:

Polly, you're doing all the right things, especially keeping a journal and trying to focus on doing positive things.  Some days--some hours--will be better or worse than others, but stick with your positive practices.  Staying focused on recovery is the key.  It would be wonderful if recovery was a nice straight upward trajectory, but unfortunately, its more like a roller-coaster.  One great benefit of a journal is it will let you reference how you feel over the long term.  Day-to-day feelings will fluctuate, but if you can use your journal to look back a few months, I bet you'd see gradual improvement.  Continued prayers to you!

 

Thank you so much, mstimc. 

I just noticed in your signature that you were on Paxil Progress and tapered off Paxil. I really don't know where I'd be now if I hadn't found that site. You were there much earlier than I was. I tapered in 2011/2012. I'd hoped never to be in this situation again. Thankfully I'm not on an AD but will have to taper this Ativan at some point. It's just a low dose and doesn't always help much but it has brought me to a much calmer place than I was in from October to  March. -I don't even know how I made it through those months- and my appetite is much better. 

 

Can you tell me some of the CBT you use to manage your anxiety. I just came in from outside to  to sit still and try to breathe through the anxiety I'm having. I feel like my body is jerking. My husband has decided to stay down in FL until Saturday.  I'm really glad that he'll be there longer for our son but at the same time it threw me into a bit of a tailspin. I have to remember that God is with me and I'm not alone.

 

I'm going to go back out and take the little pony for a walk. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to comment, it means such a lot to know people are thinking of you.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

Hi Polly

 

Yes, PaxilProgress was great--it saved me!

 

One of the most helpful CBT practices for me is intentionally catastrophizing a situation.  Its based on the fact that anticipatory anxiety--the fear of dealing with what may be--is worse than dealing with the reality of a situation.  Basically, you sit down and start thinking about what could go wrong and you ask yourself, "And then what would I do?" You keep doing that until you realize you can handle anything that may happen, and at the same time you realize how absurd some of your worst fears are.  

 

Another is self-talk.  Try to step outside yourself for a minute and pretend you are your own best friend.  What would you say to that person in your situation? Its effective because it mixes compassion with practicality.  Its much better than the "Just get over it" approach but its also often surprising how much more kind we can be to others than ourselves, and offer helpful advice we otherwise would have never considered for ourselves. 

 

You're already doing journaling.  It has a very calming effect when you put your thoughts and fears down on paper. 

 

Finally, there's distraction.  Anxiety thrives on attention.  If it senses your attention may be focused elsewhere, it throws a ton of physical symptoms at you to make you think there's danger when there isn't. Distracting yourself, even for a few minutes, is very powerful because it robs anxiety of its own power.  I turned to my hobby of woodworking because it engages both mind and body, and activates creative thinking, which is the exact opposite of anxious thoughts.  You need to pay absolute attention when you're working with power tools and precise measurements, so there's no room for unrealistic anxious thoughts.

 

Most of all, be self-forgiving.  Sometimes the anxious thoughts will come no matter what.  It doesn't mean coping isn't working or that you're weak.  One bad day doesn't mean the next one has to be worse.  Thoughts only have the power we give them. When you're in the middle of a wave, try to tell yourself you know it'll pass and today is a day closer to recovery.

 

You can do this!

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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On 4/13/2022 at 12:40 PM, mstimc said:

Hi Polly

 

Yes, PaxilProgress was great--it saved me!

 

One of the most helpful CBT practices for me is intentionally catastrophizing a situation.  Its based on the fact that anticipatory anxiety--the fear of dealing with what may be--is worse than dealing with the reality of a situation.  Basically, you sit down and start thinking about what could go wrong and you ask yourself, "And then what would I do?" You keep doing that until you realize you can handle anything that may happen, and at the same time you realize how absurd some of your worst fears are.  

 

Another is self-talk.  Try to step outside yourself for a minute and pretend you are your own best friend.  What would you say to that person in your situation? Its effective because it mixes compassion with practicality.  Its much better than the "Just get over it" approach but its also often surprising how much more kind we can be to others than ourselves, and offer helpful advice we otherwise would have never considered for ourselves. 

 

You're already doing journaling.  It has a very calming effect when you put your thoughts and fears down on paper. 

 

Finally, there's distraction.  Anxiety thrives on attention.  If it senses your attention may be focused elsewhere, it throws a ton of physical symptoms at you to make you think there's danger when there isn't. Distracting yourself, even for a few minutes, is very powerful because it robs anxiety of its own power.  I turned to my hobby of woodworking because it engages both mind and body, and activates creative thinking, which is the exact opposite of anxious thoughts.  You need to pay absolute attention when you're working with power tools and precise measurements, so there's no room for unrealistic anxious thoughts.

 

Most of all, be self-forgiving.  Sometimes the anxious thoughts will come no matter what.  It doesn't mean coping isn't working or that you're weak.  One bad day doesn't mean the next one has to be worse.  Thoughts only have the power we give them. When you're in the middle of a wave, try to tell yourself you know it'll pass and today is a day closer to recovery.

 

You can do this!

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all that out for me! I'll implement some of them. The catastophising comes very natural to me. It's what got me into this state to begin with. So I'm not too sure about that one :) My therapist has told me to practice thinking of "what could go right?" instead of my obsession over what could go wrong.

 

Have you had any anhedonia? That's what's making things so difficult for me. I also do some woodworking. I love bushcraft, wooden  spoon carving and many other hobbies but I can't find any inspiration or pleasure in any of them right now. And it started even before going on any meds so I can't really blame it on them. I think it's just the grief, panic and anxiety and the worry over our son's situation that is keeping my brain from being able to turn to ordinary things.  It's so frightening. If I could just sit down with a book or become absorbed in something it would make all the difference. I keep pushing myself to do things but I'm aware all the time that I'm just going through the motions. Some things I stopped doing because I was afraid that I'd end up associating what I used to really enjoy with tremors and anxiousness and fear. Kind of creating neuroplasticity in a negative way. I don't want to do that! 

 

Anyway I do want to make a note here of something that happened last evening. I hope it brings some hope to others here.

 

It had been a very difficult day full of the usual tremors, anxiety, shaking, anhedonia, deep sadness and crying. I actually gave in and spent most of the day in bed just trying to breathe through it all. Then after going out and getting the farm chores finished, crying the whole time. I came in the house and back to bed. At around 6pm, right out of the blue, all the anxiety stopped!! It was as if someone had flipped a switch. That's never happened before. I was able to feel an interest in things again. I even watched a horse training video on you tube. I haven't been able to watch and enjoy anything for months! Everything, even the local weather report would trigger anxiety -especially if it involved rain or high winds.  I can't express the relief I felt last night. It was so wonderful and I'm thanking God for that respite. It lasted the whole evening. I hadn't taken anything any changed anything. It just happened.  It gives me so much hope that the real me is still there, inside somewhere and that I'll be able to come back to my normal self.  I'm thanking God for that brief respite. It was sheer bliss. Today I'm jittery and anxious again but not quite as bad as yesterday and so far, I've only had one fit of sadness and crying. 

 

Now I do need to get out of bed and got out. It's a beautiful spring day. Normally I would be full of energy and enthusiasm but I'm not "feeling it" at all. 

 

I know it'll come back though, like it did last night.

 

Thank you so much mistimc!!

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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Just another update. 

 

Yesterday started out a bit rocky but it did get better. I stayed out of bed and spent the afternoon working with a little pony I'm training. I haven't done much with him while I've been sick other than groom him and take him for walks.  But yesterday I got on him for a while and amazingly I was actually able to become absorbed in what we were doing. He made quite a bit of progress. I don't think he was ever trained properly. When I came in to make something to eat around 5pm I realized that I was feeling much better and was able to watch another video on you tube. 

 

Today I'm having tremors and anxiety again but it's because my husband is about to leave Florida and start the 12 hour drive back home. Our son is going to be alone again and I'm so scared for him. He says he's feeling much better and has no strange feelings. All we can do is pray that he'll stay stable and seizure free. We're going to check in with each other on Skype throughout the day but I need to get outside and try to stay busy as much as possible. It's dull and a bit chilly. After losing so much weight I feel the cold much more.

 

A couple of days ago I lowered the Lunesta to 0.030 pill weight. It's about a 1/4 of a 1 mg pill. I've been able to sleep ok so far. Just wake up to use the bathroom one time and then get back to sleep. Praying that this continues as seep was a major problem for the first three months of this mess.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
23 hours ago, Pollyjay said:

Have you had any anhedonia? That's what's making things so difficult for me.

Hi Polly'

 

Yes, I found it difficult to enjoy simple things.  But I also found once I started them, I got some of the joy back.  Sometimes I really had to force myself but I'm glad I did.  I think the more we give in the to the negative feelings by avoiding pleasant experiences, it actually makes things worse.  The more we withdraw, the harder it is to get back into positive behaviors.  Again, this is our anxious thinking trying to control us.  If we defy the thoughts, they have no power.

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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On 4/16/2022 at 12:04 PM, mstimc said:

Hi Polly'

 

Yes, I found it difficult to enjoy simple things.  But I also found once I started them, I got some of the joy back.  Sometimes I really had to force myself but I'm glad I did.  I think the more we give in the to the negative feelings by avoiding pleasant experiences, it actually makes things worse.  The more we withdraw, the harder it is to get back into positive behaviors.  Again, this is our anxious thinking trying to control us.  If we defy the thoughts, they have no power.

 

Thank you. mstimc! I appreciate your encouragement!  I'm interested to know what type of woodworking do you do? 

 

Yesterday was a lovely spring day. Sunny but a bit chilly. My husband had arrived back home safely at around midnight the night before. He went to town to return the rental car and I spent the afternoon grooming one of my horses and working with the pony. I had anxiety hovering in the background all day but I stayed outside as long as I could, keeping busy. It was a pretty good day overall. 

 

Today was dark and cold with torrential rain. I started out feeling ok except I somehow got confused and took the Ativan at 9am with the propranolol. I don't usually take it until about 1:30 in the afternoon and then at 9pm. I guess I just saw 9 o clock and took it without thinking.  It was a good thing in a way because hubby needed help with our taxes and I was able to concentrate and stay calm. Normally, I would have been overwhelmed and unable to handle the complexity. I decided not to take my usual dose at 1:30 as I don't want to add any more doses if I can help it.

 

We drove to the post office this afternoon to put the tax documents in the mail and then stopped at a little restaurant for a burger on the way home. ( thank the Lord I can now eat a little better). There was early 70s music playing in the restaurant and it set off some deep melancholy nostalgia. Memories of growing up in England and the lovely vacations we used to take, Dad and Mum and me in our travel trailer.  Then of course the grief kicked in.  When we got in the truck to leave I was hit with terrible crying and feelings of despair and loneliness. Cried and sobbed all the way home. 

 

We got all the farm chores done, animals fed. But once we came back in the house I started crying again.  It's still hanging on along with tremors. My Mother in Law called and she talked and prayed and reassured me, for the millionth time, that I'm going to be all right and that I'll get better.  I'm sure we all here know how comforting it is to keep hearing that!!! 

 

So I came to bed to check on here and read some success stories. Need to go back downstairs though as my husband is about to cut and weigh the Seroquel and Lunesta. The doctor wanted me to jump off them about three weeks ago but I'm too scared to do that even though I was only on the full dose of each for less than a couple of weeks. I wish I knew more about tapering Lunesta. I don't know if it's like the other psych drugs or not.

 

 

 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
34 minutes ago, Pollyjay said:

I wish I knew more about tapering Lunesta. I don't know if it's like the other psych drugs or not.

 

tips-for-tapering-off-z-drugs-for-sleep-ambien-lunesta-etc

 

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

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15 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Thank you ChessieCat! That helps. I think I can come down a bit faster than I thought.

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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Just a mess of anxiety today. It's freezing cold, windy and blowing snow. I want to be outside doing things but the cold is going right through me and being cooped up inside is causing me to feel claustrophobic. I took a vitamin B1. It was an unopened bottle I bought a few months ago. I heard that it lowers cortisol. I know the general consensus here is to be careful with supplements but I'm just so utterly fed up with the constant tremors and feeling like the world is about to end! 

 

Last night around 8:30, I had another experience of all the anxiety and crying suddenly melting away. I felt perfectly normal the rest of the night!! It's the most amazing feeling. All my interest in life came back and I wanted to get on with things. knit, spin some yarn, set up my sewing machine. I didn't do any of those things because I didn't want to get too involved in projects before bed.  So I just savored the moments. It was difficult to even remember what anxiety felt like! Why can't it carry over to the next day?  Does this happen to anyone else? 

64 y/o Female

Current meds:

Started:26 February, Propranolol 5 mg 8am and 8 pm

Started: 11 March 2022, Ativan : 0 .25mg 1pm and 9pm

Started: 19 February (?) Seroquel 25 mg :Now, just less than 1/4 pill ( 0.012 scale weight) 1030 pm

Started: 26 February 2022, Lunesta 1 mg: Now less than 1/4 pill (0.018 scale weight) 10:30 pm

 

Other meds: Levothyroxine 50mcg with extra 25mcg Mon. Wed. Fri.

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor

Polly, what you're experiencing is perfectly normal in recovery.  Its the familiar "windows and waves" pattern.  The good news is you recognize and appreciate the windows.  Waves will continue, but you'll find they become decreasingly intense and you'll be able to handle them better.  Stay focused on the behaviors and thought patterns that support your windows, and you'll find the fear of a wave will start to recede.  You're doing great! 

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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  • Mentor
On 4/18/2022 at 5:28 PM, Pollyjay said:

I'm interested to know what type of woodworking do you do? 

Mostly small projects like boxes and small furniture in the Craftsman style.  I need to rebuild my tool collection since we moved back to the States.

Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Pollyjay,

 

I know how you feel. I am going through similar contortions myself right now. I really want to get out in nature and recharge but as I just posted on my thread I am having a lot of hypersensitivity reactions to food and the environment and with allergy season in full swing it is hard to get out and enjoy it while overwhelmed with worry about what reaction may come next. I had big plans for this spring and they now seem to be falling apart. Winter was actually much better with allergen levels low. I have always had trouble with increased anxiety in the spring due to an overloaded immune system but this year is the worst. Seems like this year when the snow melted and the wind started blowing and buds started coming out was the same time I started getting these bad reactions. I was reading your posts last night and I too live in the 'middle of nowhere' so when things start going wrong it can be very scary especially when you are alone. I have 4 cats but they can't call for help. I am actually going to apply for a service dog through the VA so I can set things up so that if something happens the dog will be able to recognize the trouble and initiate a call for help.

 

On a good note I have also had moments and even entire days when I feel almost fine. When the anxiety fades I feel so much better and can deal but when the anxiety kicks in even the simplest thought can trigger worsening anxiety. Having these reactions is the worst part because they are unpredictable with as yet unknown triggers so everything feels like a threat at times right now. It's a real bummer I must say.

 

I read that your husband was in the military as was I. Thank him for his service from one veteran to another.

 

It's very hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel without thinking that the light may be a train coming down the tunnel. However, I have read many success stories from people that were much worse off than I am right now and they were able to recover so I have to assume that at some point the same will happen for me as it will for you and everyone else here. For me right now it feels like things are getting worse and I just fell off a cliff and am trying to grab a rock on the way down. It's probably not that bad but that's what it feels like. The fact that you still get out and do chores, work with your animals, etc. are signs of toughness and resilience since you can still get out and get things done even in the face of what you are dealing with. The unknown timeline really stinks and is what makes this so hard. We will recover. You and everyone else are on my Kitty Prayer list that I keep on my fridge. 😉✌️😺😺😺😺

Current Psychiatric Medications

  1. Paxil 10mg daily (a.m.) 2017 - Present
  2. Carbamazepine 400mg daily (split half a.m. and half p.m.) 2011 - Present

Recently Stopped Psychiatric Medications

  1. Seroquel - Tapered from 700mg to 0mg From April 2018 to August 2021 - Final Dose 6.25mg - In Recovery

Past Psychiatric Medications From 1994 to April 2018 -  Depakote, Lithium, Risperidone, Xanax, Lamotrigene, Olanzapine, Lorazepam, Welbutrin, Trazodone, Oxazepam, Gabapentin, Abilify, Topiramate, Prazosin, Ambien (See Attached Spreadsheet And Seroquel Tapering And WIthdrawal Summary)

Current Non Psychiatric Medications Levothyroxine 88mcg (a.m.)-Vitamin D3 1000 IU (p.m.)-Fexofenadine 180 mg twice daily -Metoprolol 25mg (p.m.)-Azelastine Nasal Spray-Ipratropium Bromide Nasal Spray

Other - Fish Oil Twice Daily-Multi-Vitamin (a.m.)-Vitamin C 1000mg Daily (a.m.)-Saline Nasal Spray-Benadryl-Salsalate 750mg twice daily PRN, Diclofenac Gel on affected joint PRN-Alpha Stim-M electrotherapy device (TENS Pain)-Magnesium Glycinate 25mg twice daily

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On 4/15/2022 at 12:24 PM, Pollyjay said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all that out for me! I'll implement some of them. The catastophising comes very natural to me. It's what got me into this state to begin with. So I'm not too sure about that one :) My therapist has told me to practice thinking of "what could go right?" instead of my obsession over what could go wrong.

 

I tend to do this as well. With what I did in the Military everything we did and trained for was based on preparing for worst case scenarios. All of our procedures were written with this in mind. I carried that forward through the rest of my life. In many cases it worked well for me because when always ready for worst case you can handle most anything above that. However, after many years that way of thinking may finally be turning on me and contributing to my current issues and has probably played a bigger part of how I got to this point in the first place than I like to admit. I am going to try to balance that out a bit and pull things towards the center a bit more.

Current Psychiatric Medications

  1. Paxil 10mg daily (a.m.) 2017 - Present
  2. Carbamazepine 400mg daily (split half a.m. and half p.m.) 2011 - Present

Recently Stopped Psychiatric Medications

  1. Seroquel - Tapered from 700mg to 0mg From April 2018 to August 2021 - Final Dose 6.25mg - In Recovery

Past Psychiatric Medications From 1994 to April 2018 -  Depakote, Lithium, Risperidone, Xanax, Lamotrigene, Olanzapine, Lorazepam, Welbutrin, Trazodone, Oxazepam, Gabapentin, Abilify, Topiramate, Prazosin, Ambien (See Attached Spreadsheet And Seroquel Tapering And WIthdrawal Summary)

Current Non Psychiatric Medications Levothyroxine 88mcg (a.m.)-Vitamin D3 1000 IU (p.m.)-Fexofenadine 180 mg twice daily -Metoprolol 25mg (p.m.)-Azelastine Nasal Spray-Ipratropium Bromide Nasal Spray

Other - Fish Oil Twice Daily-Multi-Vitamin (a.m.)-Vitamin C 1000mg Daily (a.m.)-Saline Nasal Spray-Benadryl-Salsalate 750mg twice daily PRN, Diclofenac Gel on affected joint PRN-Alpha Stim-M electrotherapy device (TENS Pain)-Magnesium Glycinate 25mg twice daily

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Pollyjay: need support

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