Emma09: Been on Zoloft for 5.5 years, had no idea withdrawal would be hard, looking for advice

[Emma09]

Hello, I'm glad I came across this forum because since I started having withdrawals after quitting Zoloft I've been looking for information about people who have been on the drug for more than a few months, all I can find are studies about people who withdrawal after a short trial period. 

 

I'll try to keep this as short as possible because I probably don't need to regurgitate my whole life story into this text box here but I'm also procrastinating homework right now so maybe I will do a bit of that...

(TW: mention of suicidal ideation)

 

I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can recall. I had severe OCD as a child along with what I was eventually told was generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I silently suffered for years until at 15 I realized I didn't think I could go on living if nothing changed so I told my parents and then one day I was sitting across from a psychiatrist prescribing me my first bottle of Zoloft. 

 

At that time for whatever reason, Zoloft was the change I needed and within about 6 months I was living in a way I wouldn't have conceived as possible beforehand because of how free and happy I felt. I had never experienced life without crippling anxiety and the depression that came with it. I thought of Zoloft as magic, I was soo thankful that I was on it. It enabled me to live a pretty normal high school life without having panic attacks in the bathroom every morning and constantly being afraid that my body was racked with parasites (a long term obsession and fear of mine). I never thought I would be able to leave home for college either, and I attributed that success to Zoloft as well. I had been on 150mg comfortably for years and eventually I decided I wanted to come off of them.

 

I made it down to 50mg over time before the pandemic hit. Then at some point my life deteriorated rather quickly. I started have horrible panic attacks again, I sunk into the worst depression of my life, was severely derealized, I could barely eat, and I was utterly terrified because at that time I felt that there was no part of me left that wanted to keep living if I didn't feel better. Thinking that this was all attributed to my medication changes, my doctor increased my dose back to where I was before. Unexpectedly, for me, there was no change. On top of this, I felt the Zoloft was giving me side effects that it had not before, like constant lightheadedness. I kept waiting for the Zoloft to kick in and do its same magic, but it never did. Instead I started going to therapy, changing my lifestyle, mediating, etc. (Very fortunate to have access to these things and a support system). Pulling myself out of that hole was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, and I didn't think I would ever feel better. But over the course of a year, I've felt progressively better and more myself again, all the while I'd been decreasing my Zoloft very slowly and for the last two months I've been at 25mg. I am certainly not anxiety free, but I feel more confident in my ability to cope with it than I ever have. I am also confident that Zoloft does absolutely nothing for me anymore. 

 

I had always been told by my old psychiatrist that I would be easily able to come off of it whenever I pleased. Once I was down to 25mg, I thought that was basically nothing so I wouldn't even notice a change when I stopped taking it. So one night I figured I'd been tapering long enough and I stopped taking pills. I knew withdrawal was possible but I figured I'm tough I can handle a couple of days of feeling weird. 

 

So here I am now, coming to this realization that Zoloft is not in fact a drug that will just leave your system without having any sort of impact...yeah...

 

I feel incredibly lost and scared right now because I can't decide if I should try to push through a couple weeks because so far the withdrawal hasn't been horrible, but it is uncomfortable. I'm very lightheaded, nauseous, can't stop crying and am having wild mood swings like I've never experienced and its only been a few days. I'm thinking what if I go back on them and all I would have needed to do was go through a few more days? But the thing is there's no way to know how long I'll be feeling like this. And based on what I am reading, for someone who's been on them for so long, my brain may need a while to reboot the systems and make new receptors and figure out how much serotonin to make after years. 

 

My main problem is that I'm a college student, I can't afford to stop doing school for however long this takes. I can barely think or comprehend what I read and I'm terrified that my grades are going to start suffering for it. But if I go back on, I'll be disappointed in myself. I feel trapped because I don't even need this medication anymore for its intended purpose, but now I need it to have brain function? I've wanted to be free from it for so long, and I'm coming to the realization that I might not be able to do this right now, in this way. I feel almost betrayed by this drug I used to consider my savior. I feel betrayed by my doctor that told my mom when she asked him if it would make any long term changes to my brain chemistry, he told her "no, it will not." 

 

I don't know if I should go back on it and try a longer, smaller taper, or if I should try to push through (which is what people who have never taken antidepressants keep telling me to do of course). I'm also scared now that the longer I'm on it, the more difficult it will be to get off of it in the future. 

 

I had no idea that I would have to deal with this, and it seems that there is very limited literature on the subject. At this point I don't know what my next move is, I'm so determined to get off of it, but I also need to be a functional person right now. I don't know if these things are mutually exclusive. 

 

Edited February 20, 2022 by ChessieCat
added spacing

[getofflex]

Hello Emma, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.

 

On 2/20/2022 at 3:08 PM, Emma09 said:

Thinking that this was all attributed to my medication changes, my doctor increased my dose back to where I was before. Unexpectedly, for me, there was no change. On top of this, I felt the Zoloft was giving me side effects that it had not before, like constant lightheadedness. I kept waiting for the Zoloft to kick in and do its same magic, but it never did.

What other side effects did Zoloft give you besides light headedness, after you went back on the full dose?  

 

On 2/20/2022 at 3:08 PM, Emma09 said:

Instead I started going to therapy, changing my lifestyle, mediating, etc. (Very fortunate to have access to these things and a support system). Pulling myself out of that hole was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, and I didn't think I would ever feel better. But over the course of a year, I've felt progressively better and more myself again, all the while I'd been decreasing my Zoloft very slowly and for the last two months I've been at 25mg

It sounds like you've been doing a lot of hard work to help yourself.  It shows you have courage and determination and strength.  

 

On 2/20/2022 at 3:08 PM, Emma09 said:

I feel incredibly lost and scared right now because I can't decide if I should try to push through a couple weeks because so far the withdrawal hasn't been horrible, but it is uncomfortable. I'm very lightheaded, nauseous, can't stop crying and am having wild mood swings like I've never experienced and its only been a few days. I'm thinking what if I go back on them and all I would have needed to do was go through a few more days?

 

There is another option, which we will discuss later.  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Use this format:

 

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Etcetera

 

Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some information about how these drugs actually work.   This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

What you might consider doing is a very small reinstatement to reduce your withdrawal symptoms.  We don't suggest going back on a high dose, because there is a good chance your nervous system is sensitized, and this could make you feel even worse.  Going back on a small dose of your drug, which we call reinstatement, is best done very carefully.  This is temporary, and after stabilizing you would then taper gradually off of this.  There is some risk involved, and we need more specifics about your drug history before we can suggest a good dose at which to reinstate.  Here is some information about reinstatement.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

I can certainly understand why you feel scared.  Something that worked great for you before has turned on you, and causing problems.  However, please be reassured that you can and will heal from this, as long as you take proper care of yourself, and give yourself lots and lots of time, and be super patient.  Be aware that doctors love to put people on psych drugs, and they know very little about the bad effects and withdrawal that come with them.  You don't have to do everything a doctor tells you to do.  It's your body, and you have the right to decide what goes into your body.  Please let us know what you decide to do.  Take care, and let us know how you are doing. 

[LizzieTish]

Hi @Emma09. I've been taking Zoloft for depression for 20 years. I failed 2 previous withdrawal attempts due to tapering way too quickly. Both times I experienced intense symptoms (crying spells, irritability, brain zaps, etc.). Last April I decided to try discontinuing a third time. Third time's the charm, right?! Over 10 months I've slowly tapered from 50 mg/day down to 12.5 mg/day. In a couple of days, I'm going to taper another 10%. I expect my taper will last at least 2 years since it's harder as you get to the very low doses, especially if you've been on an SSRI for many years. I'm doing well with no symptoms.

 

Did you follow the recommended tapering schedule (10% decrements)? Good luck with your taper! 💗🤗🙏

[Emma09]

Hello, sorry for the late response, after my attempted cold turkey I went back on 25mg after about a week and had to step away from everything to recover and get caught up with school. I've added my drug history to my signature, and to answer @getofflex s question, my symptoms after going back on the full dose were lightheadedness and sexual side effects such as low sex drive and sensation. 

Thank you so much for the information. I recently started taking Omega 3 fish oil and magnesium. I have a new doctor to help me through the taper, but I am nervous because they seemed very keen on tapering me on a biweekly basis and I feel like that's very fast considering what I just went through with the previous withdrawal. I told them I want to be as conservative as possible. I plan to look into the 10% taper information on this site. My current plan is to stay on 25mg for another two months before trying to taper again because the cold turkey experience was very jarring honestly. I still haven't been feeling quite right since then (lightheaded, brain fog) and I can't tell if thats from any residual withdrawal or if its anxiety because the experience was scary. 

Thank you @LizzieTish for sharing your experience and for the encouragement, it is incredibly helpful to hear from other people. I did not originally do the 10% taper, I tried to quit completely after taking 25mg for a few months. 

Thanks!

Emma 

[Emma09]

I am also wondering if it is generally recommended to be sober from THC/CBD throughout this process? I'm an infrequent user so it wouldn't be a big problem. But I have noticed that my dizziness and general disconnected feeling increases after I've smoked...

Emma 

[getofflex]

Emma, can you please edit your drug signature to show about what date you went completely off the Zoloft, then what date you reinstated at 25 mg?  This is important information for the staff here.  We help many people, and cannot remember all the details of everyone's drugs, so we need this in the drug signature.  Thanks.  

 

On 3/10/2022 at 12:22 PM, Emma09 said:

I have a new doctor to help me through the taper, but I am nervous because they seemed very keen on tapering me on a biweekly basis and I feel like that's very fast considering what I just went through with the previous withdrawal. I told them I want to be as conservative as possible. I plan to look into the 10% taper information on this site.

The doctors who know how to properly taper off these drugs are very few and far between.  Please do not feel like you have to do what your doctor says about tapering.  If I had a dollar for every person who came in here with major WD because their doctor tapered them off too quickly, I could buy a tropical island.  And it can take months to years to recover from the damage caused by tapering too quickly.  Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we generally taper by 10% of the current dose no more than once every 4 weeks, so that the reduction becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Tips for Tapering Zoloft

 

On 3/10/2022 at 12:22 PM, Emma09 said:

I told them I want to be as conservative as possible. I plan to look into the 10% taper information on this site. My current plan is to stay on 25mg for another two months before trying to taper again because the cold turkey experience was very jarring honestly.

I'm glad to hear that you want to be cautious and conservative.  Yes, I would suggest staying on your reinstatement dose for months before reducing again.  Be sure and take the same dose every day, not missing a dose, at the same time each day.  You could even stay on it for longer than 2 months (4,6, or 8 months), just to allow your system to really recover and find homeostasis before you reduce again. This will increase your chances of success.  We advocate that you listen to your body, to tell you when you feel stable, and are ready to make a reduction.  Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

On 3/10/2022 at 1:24 PM, Emma09 said:

I am also wondering if it is generally recommended to be sober from THC/CBD throughout this process? I'm an infrequent user so it wouldn't be a big problem. But I have noticed that my dizziness and general disconnected feeling increases after I've smoked...

We definitely suggest to stay away from any mood altering substances, including THC/CBD during tapering and recovery from psych meds.  These drugs may further confuse and destabilize our nervous systems, leading to complications in withdrawal.  

[eileen1111]

Hi @Emma09 ! I’m sorry to read about your Zoloft struggle. Just wanted to stop by and say it was definitely a good idea to reinstate quickly and do a slow taper. I also was told 25mg was a low enough dose of this drug to just stop overnight. Have been really struggling ever since, so you’ve made the right call in coming to SA while it’s still early enough !! With the help and advice on here you’ll be able to avoid a debilitating withdrawal. Take care and look after yourself a lot in the coming months 🙂