Ariel: Protracted withdrawal and PAWS

[unblocktheplanet]

Thank you, @Onmyway. Ariel has such courage & such a loving heart. She's pulled so many of us up by the scruff when we were on the slide & the abyss was yawning before us.

 

You could not have expressed this level of support more beautifully. Thank you, thank you.

 

CJ

 

[Mdawg]

11 hours ago, Onmyway said:

Today I read an 'article' on 'emotional dumping' and 'trauma dumping' and it reminded me of your post about refraining from posting when you are having a hard time. 

 

I have strong views about those terms and they are not positive views. In fact, both terms make me unhappy and angry. They are a way to silence victims of trauma and people who are suffering and a way to keep us apart. People walk circles around what 'this emotional dumping' is and what it is not etc. etc. but I find it offensive, I find the existence of these terms offensive. Because it silences people. It makes them distant from each other, it locks them in their individual worlds. 

 

We need to talk about the most difficult things - we need to talk about the horrible things that happen(ed) to us, the sadness and grief that we wade in and sometimes drown in because the world is a difficult place, we need to talk about the shame of feeling responsible for our traumas even when we are not, or being labeled difficult when we are rightfully angry. We need to talk about the times when it is so hard to go on that we need the crutch of kind words, of a human hand, or a strong shoulder. And sometimes we just need the shared wallowing for a bit so that we can get out of it stronger together. 

 

I don't usually find the suffering of others to be too hard to bear. In offering support I can reach out for strength I didn't know I had. The only part I find hard is being reminded that the world is so difficult and there is so much suffering in it and the anger that comes with it. But I am also often overwhelmed with compassion and love, with the knowledge that this person and I share something sacred - the raw and, at times, excruciatingly difficult experience of being human, vulnerable and hurting together.  If I don't invite the knowledge of the sorrows and vulnerability of my fellow humans how can I invite their joy and beauty and trust that it is their full selves that I am seeing? How can I share the vastness of their experience and person if I am only open for one part of it. 

 

In her absolutely brilliant (but emotionally very hard to read) book Judith Herman talks about how recovery starts at sharing our stories. Research shows that just talking about our traumas is not enough but when we talk about it we start an important process of acknowledging that this is difficult, that life is challenging, that we sometimes don't know if we can carry on, that we are terrified so often. But most importantly, in sharing we bring out things that can take monstrous proportions in our minds into the real world where they become much smaller. We can dust off and dry the heavy coat of sadness or anger and put it back just a tad bit lighter. 

 

I can't think of one cherished friendship that I have that hasn't involved us being vulnerable and sharing things that are difficult to share. With each share/venting/'dumping' I have grown closer to these people, trust has grown, connection has deepened. 

So Ariel, please share when you are so moved. Please don't hold back. We can carry you just as you carry us. Please allow us the honor to know you -  the whole human being, not just the cheerful and always supportive part. Together we are stronger and our human connection will make the suffering fade back even if just a bit, even if for just a while. 

 

It has been a difficult day today and I want to say how much I appreciate having you here. 

I want to clap after reading this, standing ovation, tears in my eyes 

[Greatful]

Thank you both @Ariel and @Onmyway

Opening about who we are inside is a part of being vulnerable. When we shield ourselves we are  hiding ourselves from the possibility from getting hurt. But without vulnerability we cannot truly experience joy and contentment.

Sadly a lot of trauma victims share this need to protect ourselves from pain and hurt.  We don't know how to trust and feel safe.  I find that when you share, you a verbally get the thoughts and pain out in the open so it is not running around like a headless chicken in your mind.  I know when I express things they tend to loss there morphed hold over me and don't seem as powerful as they did rambling around my mind.  Sometime just talking about something will help you come to a better understanding or like I say I can get an epiphany that sheds light on things. This happens when I talk or should I say ramble  to my therapist Molly.   Trauma can make you feel alone, Withdrawal can make you feel alone, but really we are not alone if we share and reach out for the comfort of another human being .  Being validated is part of healing for trauma.   Learning to get validation from ourselves is important  but getting validation from others is important too. 

I really recommend the book Your Body Keeps the Score for any one suffering from trauma. 

 

Ariel, we or I will rephrase that, I need to hear other people struggle with the  pain of WD.  It helps to validate that we/I are all human and have up and down days.  That this is not a walk in the park.  I am normal for going through self doubt and negative self sabotage.  Together we can hold each other up.🤗

Listen to me LOL  I don't post much on my thread either😬

[Ariel]

Thank you, everyone, for your beautiful messages. I so appreciate your support. 

 

@Onmyway @Greatful 

Thank you -- wondering whether you've seen my recent update? Posted a few days ago:

 

 

[unblocktheplanet]

5 hours ago, Greatful said:

 Sometime just talking about something will help you come to a better understanding or like I say I can get an epiphany that sheds light on things. This happens when I talk or should I say ramble  to my therapist Molly.   Trauma can make you feel alone, Withdrawal can make you feel alone, but really we are not alone if we share and reach out for the comfort of another human being . 

Funny how that 'rambling' feels healing, feeds healing. Done without a destination in mind, free of all our usual goalposts. Glad it's not just me, Greatful!

[Greatful]

@ArielStopping by to wish you a calm day🤗

 

[Greatful]

@Ariel  Hey girl, I was wondering if it was you that mentioned  you use coconut oil.  Or should I say eat coconut oil. LOL  I have been taking a spoon about 1-3 teaspoons and eating it, drinking it down with water.

Do you find any noticeable benefit?  I think I do, a little calmer, brain feels clearer and calmer.

Maybe just a coincidence?  IF you do take it, how much do you take a day?

 

Hugs🤗

 

[Ariel]

Hi @Greatful

 

15 hours ago, Greatful said:

Hey girl, I was wondering if it was you that mentioned  you use coconut oil.  Or should I say eat coconut oil. LOL  I have been taking a spoon about 1-3 teaspoons and eating it, drinking it down with water.

Do you find any noticeable benefit?  I think I do, a little calmer, brain feels clearer and calmer.

Maybe just a coincidence?  IF you do take it, how much do you take a day?

 

Wow, good memory! Give your beautiful brain lots of credit <3 

Healing is happening, dear @Greatful, and this is evidence!

 

It's true that I've posted about coconut oil before.

I was experimenting with it in late April, early May, though not in any rigorous, systematic way.

I was sort of working my way up to 1-2 tblsp. a day, but stopped before I got there. 

I'd been trying to take it on an empty stomach and found that it gave me a stomach-ache when I did that, even though it did seem to calm emotional/mental symptoms somewhat.

I then tried taking it with meals but it felt like overkill. Generally I felt like my digestive system wasn't loving too much fat, so ultimately I stopped. 

This was all in combination with a relatively low-carb diet, by the way. Not proper keto but keto-adjacent. 

Once in a while, if I feel like I want some extra fat with my greens, I'll use a teaspoon of MCT coconut oil on them. 

I still cook with coconut oil (cold-pressed virgin) when frying, which is maybe a few times a week. 

 

To answer your question, I'm not clear on any noticeable benefit. There were a few times back in May where I felt like it calmed me down.  

You know how it is in WD, it's hard to tell. 

The other thing about WD -- whatever works! 

 

I'm glad to hear you're having a positive experience, sounds like. 

I'm curious to follow along in any future observations and developments. 

 

Hugs to you <3

A.

[unblocktheplanet]

Thailand weighing in here! Big coconut fan!

 

Q: Do fats make you fat? Well, for me, jury’d out; I still have a little pot (& not the kind that was just legalised in Thailand!). Not as bad as when I was self-medicating with alcohol (though I remember that being way more fun!).

 

Common misconception about coconut oil. Never were any extra virgins! Nobody sprays coconut palms!

 

“Cold-pressed” is not exactly accurate, either. Most local cocunut oil is not expeller-pressed: too expensive. Copra—dried coconut meat—is boiled. The oil rises to the top & is skimmed off, never reaching more than 49° C (120 ° F), the health industry’s definition for cold-pressed.

 

If we take WD out of the equation, coconut oil is  still a healthy fat. You can’t go wrong. We’re ricers here. I put a tablespoon or so (along with dulse flakes & yeast flakes) on every bowl.

 

I cook with coconut oil somewhat less than with olive.

 

It’s really curious that EV coconut oil costs exactly the same here as in the US. But it’s so hot, the oil never goes solid.

 

Enjoy, but I don’t think we’re designed to be downing spoonsful of oil…unless constipated!

[arbor]

Thank you, all, for the coconut conversation.

Hugs and healing wishes,

Arbor

[unblocktheplanet]

1 hour ago, arbor said:

Thank you, all, for the coconut conversation.

Hehe, "coconuts"! I guess that says it all, eh!