Mdawg: 13 years of fluvoxamine and others

[Mdawg]

Does interdose withdrawal cause kindling?  Am I doing more harm than good by holding in that case? How would I know when to taper?

[Ariel]

@Mdawg

Maybe try tagging a mod to get their attention for your last two posts. 

I checked your thread and it looks like you were in touch with Shep in the beginning, maybe try tagging Shep? 

Or another mod you feel comfortable with. 

There's been a lot of activity in the stream and new members coming in, your questions may get lost without a direct tag. 

<3

 

 

[Mdawg]

@Shep

[Shep]

16 hours ago, Mdawg said:

Does interdose withdrawal cause kindling?  Am I doing more harm than good by holding in that case? How would I know when to taper?

 

Any sudden knocks to the nervous system can cause kindling, such as repeatedly going into interdose withdrawal. The stress from a too-soon taper can also knock the nervous system, so you'll have to weigh the pros and cons to see what is best in your particular case. 

 

I can't tell from your signature how long you've been holding. Please update it to let us know.

 

Do you feel like you've made any improvements over the course of your hold? Has anything gotten worse? 

 

What time(s) of the day are you taking your drugs? Please list the time, drug name, and dose. 

[Mdawg]

Okay, I am ordering extended release 12.5 mg capsules twice a day to match my current dose, just making it extended release.

[Shep]

On 7/11/2022 at 3:22 PM, Mdawg said:

@Shep

 

@Mdawg I saw you tagged me in this post, so I posted but I'm not sure you saw my response. Please let me know if you want any feedback. 

[Mdawg]

On 7/12/2022 at 7:21 AM, Shep said:

 

Any sudden knocks to the nervous system can cause kindling, such as repeatedly going into interdose withdrawal. The stress from a too-soon taper can also knock the nervous system, so you'll have to weigh the pros and cons to see what is best in your particular case. 

 

I can't tell from your signature how long you've been holding. Please update it to let us know.

 

Do you feel like you've made any improvements over the course of your hold? Has anything gotten worse? 

 

What time(s) of the day are you taking your drugs? Please list the time, drug name, and dose. 

Oh sorry, I do feel like I’ve been getting used to the hold.  Nothing has gotten worse except for the interdose WD.  I have been taking Fluvoxamine 12.5 mg immediate release twice a day at 11am and 9 pm.  Now switching to extended release.  
I’ve been holding this dose (without any other drugs besides occasional CBD) for about 3 months, I was holding before that since February but with the addition of THC.

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/9/2022 at 7:49 PM, Mdawg said:

A best friend of a best friend passed away violently a few weeks ago and then my grandma died peacefully last week.  I am being reminded of how time is going by and life is what happens during that time 

I am sorry for your loss. Hugs 

[Shep]

19 hours ago, Mdawg said:

Oh sorry, I do feel like I’ve been getting used to the hold.  Nothing has gotten worse except for the interdose WD.  I have been taking Fluvoxamine 12.5 mg immediate release twice a day at 11am and 9 pm.  Now switching to extended release.  
I’ve been holding this dose (without any other drugs besides occasional CBD) for about 3 months, I was holding before that since February but with the addition of THC.

 

Are you using a compounding pharmacy for the extended release and can get your decreases that way? Please let us know how you do with the switch. 

 

 

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/9/2022 at 7:45 PM, Mdawg said:

I have this specific disease where I get suddenly overcome with the overwhelming urge to move to an off-grid permaculture farm in Hawaii and work in a dive shop

Specific disease hehe love it

it does sound dreamy

[Mdawg]

Updated list of positive food items:

-açaí frozen packets have energizing and antidepressant qualities 

-pumpkin seeds are an all around unproblematic source of protein 

-coconut/almond granola with almond milk (contains calcium which is activating so best early in the day)

-dates are a great source of low glycemic carbs for those who are generally carb-averse, also have potassium and nutrients 

-same with cauliflower-infused carb products like pasta and pizza crusts

-eggs are always good

-raw almonds, pistachios

-salad with various types of lettuce, red onion, avocado, olive oil 

sorry don’t mean to make you hungry!

-also the only type of meat I can tolerate is roast chicken 

-all types of fish except the bigger ones because of heavy metals 

-carrots, beets, sweet potatoes

-garlic is relaxing lowers blood pressure and inflammation

-ginger as well in small doses 

[Mdawg]

Also I live with my parents (no other options at the moment) and my mom’s friend is visiting and she asked me where I want to travel next and I said maybe Hawaii when I get the chance, and we were talking about different tropical places she had traveled that had undesirable qualities as well as the obvious positives, and I related by talking about my experience with that in the places I’ve been.  This person has known me pretty much since I was 11… and she said, about Hawaii, “you always see the dark side of things and you will probably see it there too “ as if she knows me better than I know myself.  That has been a recurring theme: I am drugged into hypnosedation by the “adults “ in my life, and then those “adults” proceed to give me unsolicited advice about how they know me better than I know myself, they know more than me, etc.  I’m assuming that my mom has not told this friend about her glorious ****-up with drugging her child, but it certainly feels like the case, with not only this person but my entire extended family on my mom’s side.  My dad did agree to drug me back then, but I’ve noticed a pattern that she does all the talking, and he does all the listening and agreeing.  I’m so sick of this.  I have a chemical aversion to my mothers voice.

anyway that’s it for the venting session today, I am tired of people who think they know anything about me.  My parents hardly even know the real me.

[Mdawg]

Like if that is true, which it probably was considering Fluvoxamine, what a ******* waste of life.

[Ariel]

@Mdawg

 

14 hours ago, Mdawg said:

This person has known me pretty much since I was 11… and she said, about Hawaii, “you always see the dark side of things and you will probably see it there too “ as if she knows me better than I know myself.

13 hours ago, Mdawg said:

I am tired of people who think they know anything about me.

 

I can relate to feeling triggered by other people's assumptions, judgments, labeling of me or anyone else. It's one of those things that irks me on a good day, and in WD can really set me off. 

 

Nobody knows anything about anyone. 

 

Your mom's friend's comment would probably have upset me, too. It's the kind of remark that functionally shuts down the possibility of connection by the speaker judging the listener via a biased generalization and prediction. This does the opposite of fostering intimacy and trust in the interaction; it distances and posits a power dynamic. It makes perfect sense for our embodied response to be alerted to a diminished sense of safety in that conversation, as psycho-socio-linguistically the speaker is indeed attempting to assert authority over us. If their utterance were a wrestling move it would be akin to pinning someone to the mat.

 

They are making you feel small; not necessarily because they believe you to be small, but because they (i.e. their ego) subconsciously feel small, which doesn't feel safe (poses a threat to the ego), so they want to escape the feeling of smallness by feeling big, and the easiest way to feel big is to feel bigger in relation to someone else, and a shortcut to getting there is by making that someone else smaller, thus positioning oneself as big/bigger than. This is usually fueled by subconscious machinations of the ego (with the ego being fed by personal trauma and pain conditioning) (although there are some people who use such manipulative tactics deliberately, consciously playing power games, which is a whole other level of destructive, abusive behavior compulsively seeking control; definitely stay away from people like that). 

 

This is not to excuse, explain, justify, or in any other way claim to understand your mom's friend (who knows why she said what she said; nobody knows anything about anyone, including your mom's friend and me). I only offer the above possible harebrained armchair analysis in an effort to convey validation of your experience.

 

14 hours ago, Mdawg said:

That has been a recurring theme: I am drugged into hypnosedation by the “adults “ in my life, and then those “adults” proceed to give me unsolicited advice about how they know me better than I know myself, they know more than me, etc.

 

We have touched on this a bit before in the excellent topic you started (I hope you know how helpful it is to people; give yourself lots of credit for your contributions). I believe that so many parents struggle with their own anxiety and fear and feelings of helplessness; instead of seeking counseling for themselves they drug their children in a misguided attempt to regain control (of their emotions, of their child, of the perceived problem). All those remarks about knowing someone better than they know themselves, knowing more, knowing what's best, etc. are the attempts of an insecure, scared ego at (re-)gaining and or maintaining an illusion of control. 

 

Bottom line: this is difficult. And it's hard to navigate and deal with this when you are living with your family and confronted by these dynamics on a daily or otherwise regular basis. Give yourself lots of credit and space around the healing work you're doing and the challenges of increased awareness and sensitivity. There is a lot to process, you're taking a lot in, and at the same time you've got your hands full with your own healing journey moving forward. I don't know what it is to be you. I do know that you're working hard and doing an amazing job getting through this. 

 

I've written a bit more but am cutting and will paste in the drugged-children topic. 

 

I'm so glad you came here to vent, M., your posts are always welcome and helpful to so many of us. 

Feeling grateful to and for you, sending you a big hug,

In solidarity and support,

A.

 

 

 

[Mdawg]

5 hours ago, Ariel said:

@Mdawg

 

 

I can relate to feeling triggered by other people's assumptions, judgments, labeling of me or anyone else. It's one of those things that irks me on a good day, and in WD can really set me off. 

 

Nobody knows anything about anyone. 

 

Your mom's friend's comment would probably have upset me, too. It's the kind of remark that functionally shuts down the possibility of connection by the speaker judging the listener via a biased generalization and prediction. This does the opposite of fostering intimacy and trust in the interaction; it distances and posits a power dynamic. It makes perfect sense for our embodied response to be alerted to a diminished sense of safety in that conversation, as psycho-socio-linguistically the speaker is indeed attempting to assert authority over us. If their utterance were a wrestling move it would be akin to pinning someone to the mat.

 

They are making you feel small; not necessarily because they believe you to be small, but because they (i.e. their ego) subconsciously feel small, which doesn't feel safe (poses a threat to the ego), so they want to escape the feeling of smallness by feeling big, and the easiest way to feel big is to feel bigger in relation to someone else, and a shortcut to getting there is by making that someone else smaller, thus positioning oneself as big/bigger than. This is usually fueled by subconscious machinations of the ego (with the ego being fed by personal trauma and pain conditioning) (although there are some people who use such manipulative tactics deliberately, consciously playing power games, which is a whole other level of destructive, abusive behavior compulsively seeking control; definitely stay away from people like that). 

 

This is not to excuse, explain, justify, or in any other way claim to understand your mom's friend (who knows why she said what she said; nobody knows anything about anyone, including your mom's friend and me). I only offer the above possible harebrained armchair analysis in an effort to convey validation of your experience.

 

 

We have touched on this a bit before in the excellent topic you started (I hope you know how helpful it is to people; give yourself lots of credit for your contributions). I believe that so many parents struggle with their own anxiety and fear and feelings of helplessness; instead of seeking counseling for themselves they drug their children in a misguided attempt to regain control (of their emotions, of their child, of the perceived problem). All those remarks about knowing someone better than they know themselves, knowing more, knowing what's best, etc. are the attempts of an insecure, scared ego at (re-)gaining and or maintaining an illusion of control. 

 

Bottom line: this is difficult. And it's hard to navigate and deal with this when you are living with your family and confronted by these dynamics on a daily or otherwise regular basis. Give yourself lots of credit and space around the healing work you're doing and the challenges of increased awareness and sensitivity. There is a lot to process, you're taking a lot in, and at the same time you've got your hands full with your own healing journey moving forward. I don't know what it is to be you. I do know that you're working hard and doing an amazing job getting through this. 

 

I've written a bit more but am cutting and will paste in the drugged-children topic. 

 

I'm so glad you came here to vent, M., your posts are always welcome and helpful to so many of us. 

Feeling grateful to and for you, sending you a big hug,

In solidarity and support,

A.

 

 

 

Thank you so much Ariel, you are so smart and helpful.

[Mirtazapine20mg]

On 7/16/2022 at 8:49 PM, Mdawg said:

“you always see the dark side of things and you will probably see it there too “

That is not a true statement. Just browsed through your posts in your in introduction and it is filled with hope (and lots of humor). I doubt your mom's friend has the capability to see the performative contradiction, she makes: To point out the dark-sidedness in you is in itself a very dark thing to do. In other words: As she speaks she is guilty of the accusation made against you. You can't make this **** up. 

[Mdawg]

3 hours ago, Mirtazapine20mg said:

That is not a true statement. Just browsed through your posts in your in introduction and it is filled with hope (and lots of humor). I doubt your mom's friend has the capability to see the performative contradiction, she makes: To point out the dark-sidedness in you is in itself a very dark thing to do. In other words: As she speaks she is guilty of the accusation made against you. You can't make this **** up. 

Aw thank you for noticing that.  That’s true, now that you say it; it’s very hard for me to be objective when the same dynamics of me as the powerless child are still present, especially in WD, but it was even worse when I was still drugged, so now that I am aware I can have power in awareness.

[Ariel]

@Mdawg

Thinking of you ... How are you doing?

Did it work out getting the compounding pharmacy to make the extended release pills?

And if so, how's that going for you?

Sending hugs and healing vibes <3

[Mdawg]

Thanks for asking, I am able to get extended release (methocellulose) capsules of 12.5 mg twice a day.  I’ve been taking it for a week now, and I feel more activated just by the change itself, but also by the extended release, and the consistency of measurement.  I am getting used to it, and although I can still detect a difference between when the dose kicks in and when it wears off, the interdose withdrawal is definitely milder.  The fact that it is still there however is concerning considering my intentions to continue tapering in the future, so unsure of what to do about that.  It’s definitely an improvement, as I feel significantly more of a consistent self day to day.  The activation is also providing increased energy, so I’ve been working out every day again but with much less intensity than in years past.  I’ve been taking magnesium gummies every day, when I feel too activated by the onset of the extended release.  For some reason the action of a slow and sustained release feels like my nervous system is being stimulated, when the immediate release felt like my nervous system was being sedated.  I can feel that the onset is much slower and longer, but the offset is the same as before.

[Ariel]

Hi @Mdawg

Thanks for your update. 

 

8 hours ago, Mdawg said:

It’s definitely an improvement, as I feel significantly more of a consistent self day to day.

 

I'm glad you are experiencing an improvement with the extended release formulation. 

 

8 hours ago, Mdawg said:

The fact that it is still there however is concerning considering my intentions to continue tapering in the future, so unsure of what to do about that.

 

When you feel ready you can confer with Shep or another mod. 

 

Sending hugs <3

 

[Mdawg]

It’s actually an exaggeration to say that the extended release is better, because sometimes it’s actually worse, but it’s hard to tell what is good and bad

[Ariel]

@Mdawg

 

5 hours ago, Mdawg said:

It’s actually an exaggeration to say that the extended release is better, because sometimes it’s actually worse, but it’s hard to tell what is good and bad

 

This drug stuff can be so messy and opaque. 

Which way is up? 

 

Sometimes I tell myself something is getting better, because it actually feels that way for a second, and then it's like no sooner have I said that, it feels like it's getting worse. I often confuse myself with my own evaluations. Whatever I may think one moment the opposite seems true immediately. I wonder if that's what the expression "feeble-minded" means. There's no there there (here). 

 

The only thing that seems to help is trying not to think too much and steering clear of "how am I doing?" assessments (I'm sorry if my inquiry into how you're doing prompted disorientation or worse). I spend a lot of time and energy on deliberate denial and distraction, a graceless doggy paddle of keeping my head above water. It seems paradoxical sometimes, given how I believe in feeling one's feelings and not running to escape one's own mind. I just have to remember that whatever mind this is in WD, it's not really mine. I'm not trying to avoid my own thoughts and feelings, I'm (temporarily) seeking refuge from the occupying forces that have (temporarily) colonized the territory. 

I keep repeating to myself, This is temporary; this is temporary.

 

Sending hugs <3

 

 

[Mirtazapine20mg]

17 hours ago, Ariel said:

a graceless doggy paddle of keeping my head above water.

👌

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/24/2022 at 6:56 PM, Mdawg said:

Thanks for asking, I am able to get extended release (methocellulose) capsules of 12.5 mg twice a day.  I’ve been taking it for a week now, and I feel more activated just by the change itself, but also by the extended release, and the consistency of measurement.  I am getting used to it, and although I can still detect a difference between when the dose kicks in and when it wears off, the interdose withdrawal is definitely milder.  The fact that it is still there however is concerning considering my intentions to continue tapering in the future, so unsure of what to do about that.  It’s definitely an improvement, as I feel significantly more of a consistent self day to day.  The activation is also providing increased energy, so I’ve been working out every day again but with much less intensity than in years past.  I’ve been taking magnesium gummies every day, when I feel too activated by the onset of the extended release.  For some reason the action of a slow and sustained release feels like my nervous system is being stimulated, when the immediate release felt like my nervous system was being sedated.  I can feel that the onset is much slower and longer, but the offset is the same as before.

Was thinking of how you mentioned wanting to get your meds compounded and wanted to see how you were doing. Seems that the energy you feel is helpful at least in doing something you like, workout? I hope the change is more beneficial for you overall.

[Mdawg]

Thank you for the support.  I’m going to take a little break and will check in occasionally but probably won’t post for a while until a few weeks from now. 

[Mirtazapine20mg]

1 hour ago, Mdawg said:

I’m going to take a little break and will check in occasionally but probably won’t post for a while until a few weeks from now. 

Take care 🙂.

[Mdawg]

I’M BAAAAAAACK

 

So I switched to the compounded XR capsules 3 weeks ago and so far it’s been good and bad.  I am feeling WD lazy and foggy so I’ve copied and pasted the email I just sent to my psychiatrist who is on vacation (ironically enough guess what he told me his favorite hobby is????????scuba diving. At least big pharma money is being partially redirected towards ecotourism!!)

 

The extended release capsules from …(Boston area folks feel free to ask about the compounding pharmacy that is covered by MassHealth) are going well.  However, I would like to try increasing the dosage slightly from 12.5 mg per capsule to 13 mg per capsule, for a total increase of 1mg per day.

 

My reasoning is that when I was dividing the immediate release tablets in half, they would never be 100% equal, and I would usually air on the side of caution by selecting the slightly larger half.  I had been doing this for a while and was doing pretty well on that dose, with the only caveat being interdose withdrawal due to the immediate release.

 

Since taking the 12.5 mg extended release capsules twice a day beginning 3 weeks ago, I have noticed a significant improvement in the stability of dosing as well as a decrease in interdose withdrawal, while also noting a slight net increase in the severity of my withdrawal symptoms.  This could be partially attributed to the change itself, including the added ingredient of Methocellulose that is used by the pharmacy, in addition to increased life stressors etc, but it might also be due to the slight potential decrease in overall dose as I mentioned.  I wonder if it would be possible to flexibly try this 1 mg total increase and see how it goes.

 

so that’s what I’m thinking of doing.

my coming and going net increased symptoms are as follows:

 

Blurred vision 

eye pressure 

low blood pressure 

dark under eye circles

bloodshot eyes (haven’t even been doing THC for several months)

dizziness 

vertigo

nausea

Intolerance to heat, light, sound, smells, being in the energetic vicinity of other beings

exercise compulsion and intolerance (great combo)

headache

stomach ache

indigestion

lack of appetite 

diarrea

hyper-fixation on things

anxiety

Suicidal ideation 

hopelessness

manic type feelings 

total stress intolerance 

aggression

DYSTALGIA 

hatred/regret

anger/grudge thinking 

nerve tingling and hyper minuscule nerve sensitivities as if tiny new nerves are growing 

extreme fatigue 

heart palpitations 

brain fog

shakiness/clumsiness/loss of fine motor control 

muscle weakness 

akathisia/peripheral nerve twinges 

DP/DR

brain zaps

 

Recently I’ve also been under pressure to get a job and/or resume university courses, as well as considering getting my deviated septum fixed as it has been actively interfering with nose breathing my whole life (according to friends and family who knew me my whole life as well as memories and habits of always needing to blow my nose) and I got a consultation about it and they said it looked like it and would be covered by insurance, but I am not going to take any decisive action until I am stable and can make informed decisions

 

Also my rib never healed properly so the left side of my rib cage sticks out about an inch farther than the right, and gives me pain according to the type of use I request of that area of my body, trying to get seen for that and get that taken seriously by the medical profession, which I would not have imagined to be as difficult as it has been 

 

so these might be contributing factors

 

I’ve also recently begun online dating (began right before switching to the compounded pills, when I was feeling ~good) so this is definitely also acting as a stressor, and can be addictive dopaminergically, but it makes me feel slightly less alone, even if it’s one step forward two steps back at first 

 

 

 

 

[Ariel]

Hi @Mdawg

 

3 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

I’M BAAAAAAACK

 

So I switched to the compounded XR capsules 3 weeks ago and so far it’s been good and bad.  I am feeling WD lazy and foggy so I’ve copied and pasted the email I just sent to my psychiatrist who is on vacation (ironically enough guess what he told me his favorite hobby is????????scuba diving. At least big pharma money is being partially redirected towards ecotourism!!)

 

It's nice to "hear" your voice again. Thanks for making me smile. 

 

I'm really sorry you're dealing with all these awful WD symptoms. It's always so impressive when written out as a list. I hope you can look at your list and give yourself so much credit for your courage and strength. 

 

Are any of these symptoms new or is it basically the same list except the intensity has increased?

 

7 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

Since taking the 12.5 mg extended release capsules twice a day beginning 3 weeks ago, I have noticed a significant improvement in the stability of dosing as well as a decrease in interdose withdrawal, while also noting a slight net increase in the severity of my withdrawal symptoms.  This could be partially attributed to the change itself, including the added ingredient of Methocellulose that is used by the pharmacy, in addition to increased life stressors etc, but it might also be due to the slight potential decrease in overall dose as I mentioned.  I wonder if it would be possible to flexibly try this 1 mg total increase and see how it goes.

 

so that’s what I’m thinking of doing.

 

I'm not a mod, you know what to do if you want a mod to weigh in before you do anything. (Hint: tag mod and re-post your question) 

 

For what it's worth, here are my non-mod, non-you thoughts (feel free to disregard if this is annoying).

Since you've been on this current dose for 3 weeks already, some physiological adaptations may already have occurred. I'd be careful with an updose, as that is also a change for the body to deal with. If it were me I think I would err on the side of holding at this current dose, in the name of stability. It seems like a good thing overall that with these new custom capsules you are getting the same dose every time. 

Also I'm not sure what you mean by "flexibly try" an increase. Do you mean try going up and if it doesn't help go back down? My impression is that the body doesn't love that kind of thing. 

 

That being said, I am not you and I am not in your body. I support you no matter how you proceed. 

 

15 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

I’ve also recently begun online dating (began right before switching to the compounded pills, when I was feeling ~good) so this is definitely also acting as a stressor, and can be addictive dopaminergically, but it makes me feel slightly less alone, even if it’s one step forward two steps back at first 

 

Talk about bravery. Wow. 

WD is hard but dating is... also hard. 

Maybe that's just me, though. Hope you're having fun with it. 

 

Sending big, big hugs <3

A.

[Mdawg]

16 minutes ago, Ariel said:

Hi @Mdawg

 

 

It's nice to "hear" your voice again. Thanks for making me smile. 

 

I'm really sorry you're dealing with all these awful WD symptoms. It's always so impressive when written out as a list. I hope you can look at your list and give yourself so much credit for your courage and strength. 

 

Are any of these symptoms new or is it basically the same list except the intensity has increased?

 

 

I'm not a mod, you know what to do if you want a mod to weigh in before you do anything. (Hint: tag mod and re-post your question) 

 

For what it's worth, here are my non-mod, non-you thoughts (feel free to disregard if this is annoying).

Since you've been on this current dose for 3 weeks already, some physiological adaptations may already have occurred. I'd be careful with an updose, as that is also a change for the body to deal with. If it were me I think I would err on the side of holding at this current dose, in the name of stability. It seems like a good thing overall that with these new custom capsules you are getting the same dose every time. 

Also I'm not sure what you mean by "flexibly try" an increase. Do you mean try going up and if it doesn't help go back down? My impression is that the body doesn't love that kind of thing. 

 

That being said, I am not you and I am not in your body. I support you no matter how you proceed. 

 

 

Talk about bravery. Wow. 

WD is hard but dating is... also hard. 

Maybe that's just me, though. Hope you're having fun with it. 

 

Sending big, big hugs ❤️

A.

Thanks for your quick response… you are right.  The body does not love that kind of thing!! Idk………. My brain is playing tricks on me I guess…..

[Mdawg]

19 minutes ago, Ariel said:

Hi @Mdawg

 

 

It's nice to "hear" your voice again. Thanks for making me smile. 

 

I'm really sorry you're dealing with all these awful WD symptoms. It's always so impressive when written out as a list. I hope you can look at your list and give yourself so much credit for your courage and strength. 

 

Are any of these symptoms new or is it basically the same list except the intensity has increased?

 

 

I'm not a mod, you know what to do if you want a mod to weigh in before you do anything. (Hint: tag mod and re-post your question) 

 

For what it's worth, here are my non-mod, non-you thoughts (feel free to disregard if this is annoying).

Since you've been on this current dose for 3 weeks already, some physiological adaptations may already have occurred. I'd be careful with an updose, as that is also a change for the body to deal with. If it were me I think I would err on the side of holding at this current dose, in the name of stability. It seems like a good thing overall that with these new custom capsules you are getting the same dose every time. 

Also I'm not sure what you mean by "flexibly try" an increase. Do you mean try going up and if it doesn't help go back down? My impression is that the body doesn't love that kind of thing. 

 

That being said, I am not you and I am not in your body. I support you no matter how you proceed. 

 

 

Talk about bravery. Wow. 

WD is hard but dating is... also hard. 

Maybe that's just me, though. Hope you're having fun with it. 

 

Sending big, big hugs ❤️

A.

And you may not be a mod but you are a library of mod information… if only you could delete an email from a scuba diving psychiatrists inbox…

[Mdawg]

@Shep please see excerpt from above post… this is in fact not a good idea, right?

 

The extended release capsules from …(Boston area folks feel free to ask about the compounding pharmacy that is covered by MassHealth) are going well.  However, I would like to try increasing the dosage slightly from 12.5 mg per capsule to 13 mg per capsule, for a total increase of 1mg per day.

 

My reasoning is that when I was dividing the immediate release tablets in half, they would never be 100% equal, and I would usually air on the side of caution by selecting the slightly larger half.  I had been doing this for a while and was doing pretty well on that dose, with the only caveat being interdose withdrawal due to the immediate release.

 

Since taking the 12.5 mg extended release capsules twice a day beginning 3 weeks ago, I have noticed a significant improvement in the stability of dosing as well as a decrease in interdose withdrawal, while also noting a slight net increase in the severity of my withdrawal symptoms.  This could be partially attributed to the change itself, including the added ingredient of Methocellulose that is used by the pharmacy, in addition to increased life stressors etc, but it might also be due to the slight potential decrease in overall dose as I mentioned.  I wonder if it would be possible to flexibly try this 1 mg total increase and see how it goes.

[Ariel]

3 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

if only you could delete an email from a scuba diving psychiatrists inbox…

Lol, why do you want to delete it? 

Did you go off on a rant about his Big Pharma money paying for ecotourism? 

 

7 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

Thanks for your quick response… you are right.  The body does not love that kind of thing!! Idk………. My brain is playing tricks on me I guess…..

 

The brain playing tricks on us is part of WD. 

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with increased severity of symptoms. I understand the longing for relief. 

Is there any way you could pay special attention to the self-care for a while? Be extra gentle with yourself, whatever that means to you. 

[Ariel]

2 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

please roast me in the comments about my most recent update…. I need to be coached through this it seems 

 

this is what happens when I take a break from the wisdom of SA

 

Lol @Mdawg you're in fine form 

 

When you tag a mod, it's best to also include your questions in that same post so the mods don't have to spend time scrolling back up through your thread looking for what you're referring to. 

 

Like, @_insert mod name here_

 

- and then either quote your original post that describes the issue (e.g. your update), or re-write the specific questions you'd like help with - 

 

That way the moderator gets tagged and has all the info they need in that one post they were tagged in. 

 

[Mdawg]

15 minutes ago, Ariel said:

Lol, why do you want to delete it? 

Did you go off on a rant about his Big Pharma money paying for ecotourism? 

 

 

The brain playing tricks on us is part of WD. 

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with increased severity of symptoms. I understand the longing for relief. 

Is there any way you could pay special attention to the self-care for a while? Be extra gentle with yourself, whatever that means to you. 

I just shouldn’t have said anything about changing the dose, my intuition was telling me not to hit send but I didn’t listen 

[Mdawg]

9 minutes ago, Ariel said:

 

Lol @Mdawg you're in fine form 

 

When you tag a mod, it's best to also include your questions in that same post so the mods don't have to spend time scrolling back up through your thread looking for what you're referring to. 

 

Like, @_insert mod name here_

 

- and then either quote your original post that describes the issue (e.g. your update), or re-write the specific questions you'd like help with - 

 

That way the moderator gets tagged and has all the info they need in that one post they were tagged in. 

 

Good advice I edited 

[Ariel]

3 minutes ago, Mdawg said:

I just shouldn’t have said anything about changing the dose, my intuition was telling me not to hit send but I didn’t listen 

 

It's okay, M. 

Don't worry <3

Right now you're in process... You're taking some time to think about things and you'll see what Shep has to say, and then once you decide whether to updose or hold, you can just send a short follow-up email informing the doctor of your decision. 

No biggie. 

 

Hugs and goodnight <3