Siderale : One year off meds, two months symptoms-free although I thought I'd never feel like myself again: I overcame Escitalopram withdrawal

[siderale]

Hello everyone! Here is my introduction topic.

Today marks one year I stopped antidepressants (Escitalopram). I have been completely symptom-free for 2 months as of March 2022, but the biggest improvement in symptoms came past month 6-7 into withdrawal, I would say last October (2021). I am aware that this is quite fast and that I was lucky, but nonetheless I wish to document my journey to give hope to everyone that's struggling, be it 2 weeks or 2 years in.

Because despite my WD being short, I 100% honestly started to believe I would never ever feel "normal", let alone feel like myself again.

 

My history with Escitalopram

 

I wanna preface this by stating that Escitalopram helped me immensely with my initial issues in the first place. I have always been anxious and I will always be anxious.

 

In August of 2017 however, I was put on Escitalopram 10mg when it spiraled out of control (I developed severe OCD and hypochondria (health anxiety)). Within 3 weeks, the medication allowed me to live a normal life again. As it was a success, in 2018 I stopped the medication (10mg to 5mg in june and then stopped completely). I had no withdrawal syndrome at all and spent a wonderful summer. I relapsed in October 2017 (it was OCD and not withdrawal, 100% sure), and was put back on Escitalopram 10mg in November 2018, following therapy along too.

 

I therefore followed therapy and stayed on Escitalopram 10mg for another 2 years and 2 months from Nov 2018, up until January 2021 when my psychiatrist and I both agreed to try and stop antidepressants again as I felt much more stable and able to live without its help.

From 10mg, the taper was: 5mg through Jan-Feb 2021, and then 5mg one day out of two through Feb-March, until I stopped mid-March 2021.

Through the taper, I did not notice any symptom save from fatigue, but to this day I'm unsure if it was the taper or just the season (I suffer greatly from seasonal lack of sunlight!!).

 

My withdrawal journey and symptoms

 

A few days after my last Escitalopram dose, around March 18th 2021, my anxiety ramped up for no reason. On days 7-10 I got GI symptoms, and thought I had a stomach flu (still unsure if it was the start of WD or stomach flu!). Then a couple days later, I awoke brutally a few hours after falling asleep to full-body tremors that scared me a lot, I never had this before. This moment, for me, marked the start of my WD journey, for when I woke up later again in the morning, I felt a dread I never felt before.

 

March-May of 2021 were atrocious. I believe it was the "acute" part of WD. I was feeling such a wide array of very physical and mental symptoms that I never had to deal with before, not even before medication when my mental issues were debilitating.

I woke up every single day drenched in anxiety, filled with INSANE dread the whole day. I had huge crying bouts and intrusive thoughts, feelings of very very intense despair and helplessness. Anxiety would usually alleviate in the evenings but I was exhausted due to how my body was in flight or fight mode the whole day. My "windows" lasted a few hours, or half a day at max.

 

My appetite was gone and I had nausea every single day on and off (else I would just not have any appetite) for a rough 4-6 months, which was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I'm still undoing the damage of this extreme weight loss as I type this.

 

It is in June-July of 2021 that the physical symptoms were the hardest. I had full-body exhaustion, maybe due to the severe weight loss, I remember doing my things on auto-pilot. However, this is what helped me move forwards: even at my lowest, I was able to pull through and my body helped me move forwards despite feeling so crippled. In WD it became SO important to hold on such "reminders" and remember that I could trust myself and my body.

I also developed photophobia in June-July, which lasted for 1 month and a half. It was very very weird, I had unilateral sharp eye pain upon looking at anything bright. I cannot stress enough that I never had such symptoms before ever, never had migraines etc, and it remained something isolated as I didn't have photophobia since!!

 

In Sept-December of 2021 , I mentally felt at a much better place and much more confident in my ability to heal despite symptoms still being part of my everyday life: mostly because my appetite slowly, FINALLY came back.

On a daily basis, I had to deal with headaches still, pin and needles, derealisation, tough time focusing and dizzy spells that were quite scary. I was feeling off and/or derealisation, or anxious with some intrusive thoughts.

 

Mid-January of 2022, I realised I had no symptoms at all for a week and that my last wave was probably a few weeks ago already. Maybe a couple dizzy spells through the beginning of January, but they wore off.

Another week passed. And another... and a month... and here I am now, 2 months after what I consider to be my last symptoms, and one year after my last Escitalopram dose.

 

This forum, along with the resilience I built through the past years, allowed me to brunt the force of what is to this day the hardest thing I've gone through. I kept going on because I said to myself everyday that this will pass, that healing will happen. And it did.

 

It was slow at first. I was counting the good days, and at one point I stopped paying daily attention to how I was feeling, rather noticing the days where I felt off: they were getting rarer.

I kept track of all my symptoms in a journal, and looking back I cannot believe I experienced this whole list (I haven't listed everything here else this post would be even longer lol), it sounds absolutely mental, yet here I am, at the top of a mountain I wasn't expecting to have to climb. And what a hike it was.

 

What helped me with some of the symptoms?

 

To deal with nausea, I paid great attention to eat more often but in small amounts and drink a lot. My GP prescribed me proteinated fruit juice as well. I would eat "bland" foods such as unseasoned rice or pasta as it gives you energy and sustenance still. The days (or hours) where the nausea gave me a break, I tried to eat varied foods. I kept a very balanced diet, and didn't cut anything save from caffeine for 2 months (without changing from what I usually ate, as I feared this would destabilise me further).

 

When anhedonia hit me I just let the day pass, because sometimes "existing" is enough of an effort and it's okay; and I tried to not mull over the fact that even my hobbies didn't bring me joy. I tried to focus on the absolute smallest things that felt nice: the breeze from my ajar window, the feeling of fresh water as I washed my hands, the odd birds outside in the distance... It's a great habit to take, actually, to become a bit "contemplative". A shame I had to discover this when everything else felt bad, but better late than never.

 

A warm shower would usually help my anxiety and/or crying bouts. It is the simplest yet most efficient thing honestly now that I remember it. Restorative yoga was also helpful sometimes (I never tried yoga before WD and it is one good habit I took during my journey!)

 

Repeating to myself that things come and go, including the hardships. Radical acceptance was a great read (I ought to find the link to the specific post again, I'll edit this later).

 

And now...

 

I can now drink coffee/alcohol just like before (I never abused it!). I can focus on and write my thesis, read complicated theoretical books, hold a conversation without feeling alien, hell I'm even less shy than before, I eat in great amounts and I have almost put back all the weight I lost. I just feel... profoundly normal. Back in my shoes.

 

I think my outlook on life changed a bit. It became more optimistic, more appreciative mostly because I coped with the atrocious feelings of withdrawal by focusing on the small things (when you've got nothing else...); and/or repeating to myself what people said on this forum and what I came to learn as I progressed, which is that healing eventually happens and that good days and bad days will always alternate, even if sometimes one part overpowers the others. Eventually, it evens out, and it's worth it when you look back at what you've been through.

 

Thanks everyone on SurvivingAntidepressants for making this possible - with your support, your advice, your journeys. We'll all get there and I hope from the bottom of my heart that all of you feel the relief that I got the chance to feel very soon.

If you're struggling and reading this: you're insanely strong for having soldiered on every single difficult day in your life. I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of you, and I want to promise you that better days are ahead.

Edited March 19, 2022 by Erell
Title change

[Erell]

Congratulations @siderale, I am very honored and happy to read your Success Story !
 

"Eventually, it evens out, and it's worth it when you look back at what you've been through."

 

❤️

 

[wantrelief]

Congratulations @siderale!!  You are extremely brave to have fought through all of those atrocious symptoms.  I am in awe of what you have accomplished.  All the best for your wonderful future ahead, WR.

[Phoenixmama]

🥳🥳🥳🥳 thank you for your success story ☀️☀️☀️☀️

[eileen1111]

yay !!! this is wonderful to read. very happy for you ❤️ thank you for this post 

[getofflex]

@siderale I'm so proud of you!!  You did this!  You have learned and grown so much though this ordeal - I hear it in your story.  You maintained a positive attitude and told yourself that you would be better someday. You had hope, strength, and determination.  I hope you keep in touch now and then.  

[Jadenatalie]

@siderale amazing! you're such an inspiration! xx

[Parisien]

Hello and congratulations for your success story you had a lot of courage I am full of weaning and I know the difficulty that must be endured.  Reading you does a lot of good, I hope you will get even better with time.  You have to stay away from this drug and try to overcome it every day by being positive.  I have a few questions if you don't mind: are you a man or a woman?  How old are you, did sport help you?  Apart from yoga.  Have you had libido problems or if you are a man premature ejaculation problems?  I myself took seroplex 10mg like you think 1 year then I switched to brintellix.  I'm 3 months out of weaning I have someone symptoms that are leaving like nausea headaches dizziness and I manage to fall asleep faster.  But I wake up around 3am and can't go back to sleep or long after sometimes.  What bothers me the most is the sexual issues like death downstairs.  I also wanted to ask you because it scares me if you feel connected with people?  With reality.  I have a blank stare and very often I can stare at something for a minute elsewhere.  And I no longer have too many feelings for the people around me.  Take care and carry on with that voice again you're really brave

[siderale]

  

On 3/23/2022 at 1:00 PM, Parisien said:

are you a man or a woman?  How old are you, did sport help you?  Apart from yoga.  Have you had libido problems

I'm a woman, and I am between 25-30. I was unable to do sports but I made a point of taking a short, brisk paced walk almost everyday, even if it was only 15 minutes. I believe it helped me a lot because at times I felt like I would go out and pass out/panic because of muscle weakness and/or derealisation, but in fact it built my confidence. 

As for libido issues it is not a subject I am concerned with because I never had any libido to start with. It's been like this forever, meds or not, WD or not I did not notice any change because it is almost inexistent to start with, so, sorry I can't answer or reassure you!

 

 

On 3/23/2022 at 1:00 PM, Parisien said:

 I also wanted to ask you because it scares me if you feel connected with people?  With reality.  I have a blank stare and very often I can stare at something for a minute elsewhere.  

 

It took a lot of time to come back and I don't think it's like 100% there becase I sometimes have moments where I just feel off/disconnected still, but I pay less attention to it and I don't overthink it (at least I try not to!). Even "non WD" people have their moments like this. For me it slowly got better and better in the past 3 months or so still.

[siderale]

Now that I have replied to the previous person: I am sorry for the late reply, my life has been so hectic lately I haven't had a moment to sit down and properly write here. I don't wanna clog up all of your notifications by thanking every single one of you but know that ALL of your words go straight to my heart. I feel so lucky to be able to share my success with you and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support and kind words 💕

 

I definitely plan to log back in to check on other people, reply to this thread if needed. I don't see myself just giving up on this community, that helped me immensely.

 

My positive attitude (and the fact that it didn't leave me!!) has been a gift, though obviously some days were much much harder and man I've cried out of despair/frustration more in the past year than in... maybe my whole life before WD! 

 

Before WD, and while I was on meds, I already had a more optimistic outlook on life. It took time to shift, I used to be very pessimistic, but it did. So again, I really believe I was lucky to feel really good with the medication from the start, it helped me see this whole thing as me learning to walk by myself without a very helpful crutch. And if anything, I now see life with an even brighter outlook.

[Matata44]

You are such an inspiration! Thanks for sharing hope. 

I'm on my way to recovery. 

 

I send you a lot of good energy!

[DaBro]

Congratulations @siderale and thanks for posting your story. I know how I looked to success stories for inspiration and hope and I know many people will find comfort in your story. 

[Knosretep]

Congratulations on your recovery, and thank you for coming back to post a success story and give encouragement for those of us still struggling. ❤️

[souim]

Hi Siderale,

 

Congratulations on your successful tapering !

 

It gives me hope, as I just started my own journey. Getofflex told me your were french just like me :). We're also about the same age. I actually find my experience is quite similar to yours. The drug also really helped me with my anxiety, and I also had a lot of symptoms related to fatigue, nausea and lack of appetite. In my case, it was actually undiagnosed GERD, so omeprazol was a huge help. Anyway, knowing that you were able to heal is great encouragement for me. And your advice on dealing with symptoms was very helpful. So thanks !

 

Hope you're doing okay with your thesis.

[siderale]

Hello @souim and thank you for your sweet message ! I am indeed french, and if you want to chat don't hesitate to message me although I may take a bit of time to answer (tunnel-visioning on my thesis indeed, but I'm seeing the end of it in the next months... I hope!)

It's good that omeprazole helped you. My mum has GERD too and it seems so awful! Good luck with it.

 

I am super glad to know that you mind my advice helpful too. We all have our own ways to cope with symptoms so of course it might not work for everyone, but as I was in the thick of WD I was willing to try any piece of advice I came across and found the "recipe" that helped me!

 

Good luck with your tapering, I hope your journey will be as smooth as it can be!

[siderale]

Hi @rebeccaannxo, I'm sorry to read you had such a strong adverse reaction. I'm sending you all the strength I can!

- I had photophobia appear brutally 4-5 months after my last dose (sharp pain around the left eye upon looking at any bright surface), as well as issues "focusing" on stuff. I never ever had to deal with it before, I never had migraines. It disappeared after a couple months.

- I had fatigue all along WD I'd say, the intensity varied between phases where I felt barely able to exit my bed to others where I was functional but feeling tired.

- Balance issues, not per se, however I had dizzy spells, a lot of them towards the end of my withdrawal (and not at the beginning!)

[StarShopping87]

@siderale congrats on your healing! I wanted to ask you as I am 3 month in, did you have the weird brain sensations? They are hard to explain but I think sensory may be making them worse as in light/sound/stimulation. I had horrible light sensitivity but I’m improving slowly. 

[Pollyjay]

Siderale, thank you so much for writing your success story. It's so encouraging to see how much you have come through. I hope you don't mind, I posted a couple of quotes to the "Best ofSA" thread.

 

I'm struggling with anhedonia and being unable to enjoy my hobbies or read a book. Your advice on anhedonia was very helpful and comforting. I do have some windows here and there but when I sink back into it I get very anxious and frightened that I'll never be able to live life again. So thank you for your reassurance. It's so much appreciated.

[siderale]

@StarShopping87 , do you mean "brain zaps"? If so, it is a very common symptom and a very scary one it seems but weirdly enough, I haven't had to deal with it at all. However even without it I was moire sensitive to a lot of stimuli.

and @Pollyjay , I am so glad to read that my words can help you a bit. Reading myself, and looking back today - I can confidently say that I am really back to normal on a daily basis *and* that at the time I confidently thought this would never happen.

I saw that you posted a few quotes in the "Best of SA" topic and consider me very honoured! 💜 I am wishing you all the best. 

 

I hope you both recover fast, hang in there!

 

As for me, as a little update. I have been stressed lately (mostly work stuff and "the unknown" of my professional future) and since yesterday I feel super nauseous, dizzy, stressed. I thought I'd pass out outside yesterday and I was barely able to eat at lunch. In three words: the postcard wave for me. I however don't think it's a wave, just a response to stress: I've been taking it slow, yet managing to see friends, I feel a bit weak and my appetite isn't there (which is a major stress factor and reminds me greatly of the hell of WD!!!) but one thing I know for sure is that whether it is a random, very late-breaking wave, or just a "stress period" as it can happen to anyone... It's temporary!

[StarShopping87]

2 hours ago, siderale said:

@StarShopping87 , do you mean "brain zaps"? If so, it is a very common symptom and a very scary one it seems but weirdly enough, I haven't had to deal with it at all. However even without it I was moire sensitive to a lot of stimuli.

and @Pollyjay , I am so glad to read that my words can help you a bit. Reading myself, and looking back today - I can confidently say that I am really back to normal on a daily basis *and* that at the time I confidently thought this would never happen.

I saw that you posted a few quotes in the "Best of SA" topic and consider me very honoured! 💜 I am wishing you all the best. 

 

I hope you both recover fast, hang in there!

 

As for me, as a little update. I have been stressed lately (mostly work stuff and "the unknown" of my professional future) and since yesterday I feel super nauseous, dizzy, stressed. I thought I'd pass out outside yesterday and I was barely able to eat at lunch. In three words: the postcard wave for me. I however don't think it's a wave, just a response to stress: I've been taking it slow, yet managing to see friends, I feel a bit weak and my appetite isn't there (which is a major stress factor and reminds me greatly of the hell of WD!!!) but one thing I know for sure is that whether it is a random, very late-breaking wave, or just a "stress period" as it can happen to anyone... It's temporary!

Thanks for your response! It isn’t brain zaps so to say, more of a activated/stimulated feeling. It’s soo. Hard to describe. I’m definitely sensitive to stimulation right now. But my brain feels so weird, and there’s like a weird spinning sensation. When I lay my head back, like in a sitting position, it feels heavy and I feel like I’m spinning. But all throughout the day it’s more of a activated/stimulation feeling. 

[siderale]

4 hours ago, StarShopping87 said:

When I lay my head back, like in a sitting position, it feels heavy and I feel like I’m spinning

Oh I do relate to this BIG TIME though!! I had *exactly* this but when I went to lie down. And it lasted for a good while ad a symptom. I would sort of dreading going to bed or lying down at all because of it. But like the rest it eventually wore off. It was weird though, and I felt so much more jumpy because of light and sound too.

[Marykay157]

Congratulations. So glad you made it through.   I can relate to everything you went through.   I'm currently stable on 20 mg prozac  and 10 mg Doxepin, but in the next year or so  I would like to gradually  get off both.     I cold turkeyd  and reinstated prozac a year ago and went through horrible symptoms for about 8 months.   

[Jilla]

Thank you so much for writing this. It gives me hope. I am in the middle of the very dark and frightening days of WD.  The anxiety is crippling. I too have lost my appetite and many pounds. I have also become histamine intolerant. 
Thanks again!

[siderale]

I'm sorry to read this @Jilla it's such a jarring thing to go through. If it can be of any reassurance, it did take a few months after I considered WD to be over but I've gone back to my "normal" pre-WD weight.

Even if it does not feel like so when you are in the thick of it: your brain and body both have a surprising capacity to heal, even when it feels like you'll never feel normal or "like before" ever again. I hope my experience and the other success story can make you keep hope.

Good luck, I hope healing comes to you soon!

[peaceandlove]

Thank you so much for this post & im so happy for you. My question is throughout this journey would you say you rested more than you were active ?? Do you think resting helped you recover faster. & did you work at all? If so was it physical work or like at a computer, talking on the phone etc?

[siderale]

 

On 6/23/2022 at 8:46 PM, peaceandlove said:

My question is throughout this journey would you say you rested more than you were active ?? Do you think resting helped you recover faster. & did you work at all? If so was it physical work or like at a computer, talking on the phone etc?

 

In short, even if symptoms were sometimes debilitating, for the most part, in my case, it seems like staying active, going out everyday, helped me both gain confidence in myself and keeping the intrusive thoughts at bay (because I was busy with other stuff). I however know of course that WD is an extremely personal journey and I hope you find your way to cope with your symptoms the best.

 

More details:

It was mostly by "phases": I was working part-time, going to uni for class and working on my thesis at home. My work was at the time completely remote (administrative work: phone calls, emails, excel sheets). Going to uni was sometimes very welcome because it kept my brain and body busy, but sometimes the symptoms were too debilitating and I stayed home. I had however noticed that most of the time I could go on with my days almost normally (despite the dread and nausea and fatigue etc) and pushed myself to continue doing so, except when I was too crippled.

 

Then I had a month long period of "physical rest" where I did next to nothing except work on my thesis from my computer and not leaving my room because I was super late, WD made it impossible to focus and I asked for a delay. This is where the physical symptoms were the worst. I still don't know how the hell I managed to crunch it while half of my brain felt like it was unresponsive, but it worked in the end. Then I traveled and drove a lot while having to socialise, it wasn't easy everyday and I had moments where I felt very "down" even during a window but it went well and helped me gain a lot of confidence. Then after this I have been extremely busy and almost overworked with class and work on-site every day plus lots of work in the evenings. I was on the verge of burnout to be honest but my symptoms at the time were more manageable since I was eating again. It was mostly DP/DR and crying bouts from exhaustion.

 

 

[Nypeaches89]

Hello ! I guess you won’t read this but still wanted to ask. I have a kind of similar path than you (Escitalopram for social anxiety, but then another ssri). I think we might be from the same European country as well and might be around the same age so I relate to your story even though I don’t have appetite problems during my withdrawal. Anyway just wanted to know how you’re doing now, if you’re still feeling healed? Your story gives me a lot of hope. Did you ever have depressive phases during your WD? (As in depressive feelings that feel 100% weird, chemical, unusual and you just know it’s due to withdrawal). Did you ever have akathesia ? 
Thank you for everything you wrote on this forum, I followed your journey to give me strength. 

[siderale]

Hello @Nypeaches89! I'm super sorry for the late reply. My life has been incredibly busy lately. I meant to pass by here earlier especially since I very often reflect on WD actually, in a "I can't believe I went through this" way. It feels so eerie, to have been unlike myself for so long.

So to answer your questions;

 

On 8/16/2022 at 12:10 PM, Nypeaches89 said:

Anyway just wanted to know how you’re doing now, if you’re still feeling healed?

More than ever, and I feel incredibly lucky to even be able to confidently say this. I am, simply, back to my normal self.

I do have mood swings, depending on my stress levels, menstrual cycle, and that is just how life is, but none and I mean none of those mood swings feel like WD. I can acutely remember how off I felt during the whole of WD, and 10x worse during waves.

 

On 8/16/2022 at 12:10 PM, Nypeaches89 said:

Did you ever have depressive phases during your WD? (As in depressive feelings that feel 100% weird, chemical, unusual and you just know it’s due to withdrawal). Did you ever have akathesia ? 

I have had very short but extremely intense moments where I felt despair (as opposed to dread/anxiety) and complete anhedonia. I believe it felt even worse for me because I am lucky enough not to be a depressive person, so those feelings were extremely alien to me. I cannot say if I felt they were "chemical" but they were so odd, so intense and so unlike me that I knew it was WD.

I however never had to deal with akathesia, it was more the opposite issue (feeling unable to even move a finger)

 

I hope this answers your questions, I again apologise for the very late reply. I hope by the time you read this, you feel a bit better. I ought to drop by your introduction one day! I wish you all the best and I hope that you, as well as the others who might read this, are lucky enough to feel relief from withdrawal very soon. Being able to give a bit of hope to anyone is the least I can do and a great honour. Hang in there.

[Nypeaches89]

On 9/20/2022 at 9:18 PM, siderale said:

Hello @Nypeaches89! I'm super sorry for the late reply. My life has been incredibly busy lately. I meant to pass by here earlier especially since I very often reflect on WD actually, in a "I can't believe I went through this" way. It feels so eerie, to have been unlike myself for so long.

So to answer your questions;

 

More than ever, and I feel incredibly lucky to even be able to confidently say this. I am, simply, back to my normal self.

I do have mood swings, depending on my stress levels, menstrual cycle, and that is just how life is, but none and I mean none of those mood swings feel like WD. I can acutely remember how off I felt during the whole of WD, and 10x worse during waves.

 

I have had very short but extremely intense moments where I felt despair (as opposed to dread/anxiety) and complete anhedonia. I believe it felt even worse for me because I am lucky enough not to be a depressive person, so those feelings were extremely alien to me. I cannot say if I felt they were "chemical" but they were so odd, so intense and so unlike me that I knew it was WD.

I however never had to deal with akathesia, it was more the opposite issue (feeling unable to even move a finger)

 

I hope this answers your questions, I again apologise for the very late reply. I hope by the time you read this, you feel a bit better. I ought to drop by your introduction one day! I wish you all the best and I hope that you, as well as the others who might read this, are lucky enough to feel relief from withdrawal very soon. Being able to give a bit of hope to anyone is the least I can do and a great honour. Hang in there.

Thank you for your reply  

Well in the meantime I got much better, for no reason- just time doing it’s job. I haven’t had the short intense depressive episodes since I quit the birth control pill, I don’t have anxiety waves anymore. My last thing is clearly anhedonia, I feel “meh”. I hope it’ll pass cos it feels weird to not get excited about anything. If worries me too. Anyway thanks again for your testimony, and your answer. I’m happy to hear you’re healed. I’m on my way 🐎
best. 
 

[conkaia]

Hi thanks so much for posting your story, mine is on this thread My Introduction Story; you are giving me some hope, as I'm really struggling right now.  I'm so glad you've healed 🥰

[Bertoh]

Hello @siderale… you’re an absolute inspiration. Your success story and journey (which I fully read, wow) is absolute harrowing and difficult yet a show of super human strength and fragility. It made me feel normal for going through what I’m going through seeing your posts about getting back on lexapro months later and then holding strong and saying no. I go through a similar issue every few days/weeks where I question just giving in and taking meds for my symptoms (insane headaches and nausea) and seeing your battle gives me a sense of shared humanity and resolve.

 

I hope you still check this every once in a while since I have a few questions for you.

 

I’m  dealing with what I think is an adverse effect of Effexor (so a bit different from you) and but my recovery path and symptoms feel very similar to yours. I wanted to ask

 

- What else aside from small meals plain meals did toy do for nausea (if anything)? The abuses is driving me insane. I think it’s mostly tied to the headaches, and I can still eat ok, but feeling nausea often is killing me and nothing has really worked: eating more often smaller portions, ginger, etc

 

 

- How did you handle the headache? I have daily headaches (and nausea) and they’re killing me. It’s been 4 months of this and I’m starting to lose it. I’m trying my best to avoid meds and hope they go down in strength but after a really bad week of this I’m doubting my resolve. occasional Tylenol hasn’t helped at all and B2, acupuncture, massages haven’t seemed to kick in. This is making life beyond miserable. I’m wondering if you had any luck with headaches so I can mirror it 

 

Thanks for your time and I hope that the rest of your life is absolutely grand and that this one day is legit just a crazy ass thing you look back at with very little emphasis on it as the rest of life has been that amazing. 

[siderale]

Hello @Bertoh and my apologies for this very late reply! I do come by this forum still although it's less frequent. I care a lot about members and seeing their progress, as well as answering questions if I can!

 

Thank you so much for your sweet words. It makes me really emotional to know my journey can bring anyone a small glint of hope, it's everything I wish to be able to do because again, I still look back at that year and wonder how the hell did I soldier through! I was so firmly convinced I'd never feel like myself and here I am, 1 year and almost 9 months off and I've never felt more stable.

 

On 11/9/2022 at 5:43 AM, Bertoh said:

What else aside from small meals plain meals did toy do for nausea (if anything)?

When the nausea was too much for me to even eat something super plain, I'd take a spoonful of sugar or fruit jam, eventually drank soda or syrup + water. Watch out, because some people are extremely sensitive to sugar during WD, it wasn't my case. It was sufficient sometimes to give me a small boost of energy sometimes, which sometimes lessened nausea, because as you may know, your body's reaction to hunger is... also nausea!

Dealing with nausea truly was the most jarring part of WD for me.

I don't have anything miraculous to advise. I did as I could with plain meals that still brought sustenance & stuff that you make quickly and don't need to chew on too much, for example plain semolina, mashed potatoes,creamy spinach, broths, etc.

 

For the headaches, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. I didn't deal with debilitating headaches, but it was quite anoying. Taking frequent breaks closing my eyes and massaging my temples helped a bit, as well as drinking lots and lots of water but again nothing was miraculous. I looked up Tylenol which seems to be paracetamol. I did take ibuprofen sometimes or aspirin, perhaps you could try if your health allows it (one can be allergic to those).

 

I can only with you strength during these times. I really hope all your symptoms ease off progressively, be proud of yourself for being there already, it will get better - and the thing I hope the most is that it happens soon for you! Take great care.

[siderale]

Just a little update. So today I felt weird, uneasy, nothing major but I kept noticing my jaw was clenched super tight and it lasted the whole day, for literally no reason at all.

It reminded me of the odd days of withdrawal, and it made me realise - this month marks a year since I consider myself symptom-free and fully recovered from WD.

 

I reflected a bit on how the past year, I've felt the most stable I've ever felt, maybe even more than when I was on antidepressants (as a reminder, in my case escitalopram was extremely helpful in helping me heal from things, and brought me durable relief when I needed it the most).

I still have days where I feel bad, sometimes even for absolutely no discernible reason (like today), but this is... normal. All of us have bad days, bad weeks, it's human and it does not have to have a specific cause, even if it's frustrating, it just is like that sometimes. And now that I know both that these emotions happen but are not my "normal", and that they come and go, I feel more free and serene than ever! No matter how long it takes for withdrawal to go away, in the end it is worth it.

 

Take care, all of you, there is healing for each one of us.

[Bertoh]

Ty @siderale for reminding us that when we do get through that finish line….life is still life. 
 

Good, bad, ugly, beautiful. The struggle from this though will make us so much stronger and able to handle those sad days…at least that’s what I’m taking from your post above. I’m in the middle of a big setback in my journey (now have stomach issues, my emotions are all over the place) but I’m also doing better in a big way (headaches are starting to improve some)…your message comes at just the right time for me. So thank you…you taking those few mins to check in has helped at least one person, prob will many more who lurk (in mainly a lurker lol).

 

I can’t wait to join you on the other side of the battle with hopefully your same outlook soon! 

[topcoat]

Thank you so much for your post @siderale. After reading I went through your introduction post and it made me feel hopeful. I feel like I have so many similarities with you (just finished degree, have health anxiety and ocd), and I’m constantly in the back and forth of whether or not to reinstate. I’m still pretty early in my journey, I stopped my last dose of escitalopram in early January 2023 (1.25mg—just halving multiple times from 10mg), and have been feeling so down with my WD symptoms. The weird and horrible feelings of despair (also never had this sort of thing before!), OCD flare ups, general anxiety, and feeling sooo hypersensitive. The worst is the hypersensitivity to sounds because I feel like I overreact and then feel guilty for overreacting . 
 

I also wanted to commend you and say how inspiring your strength is—your story gave me hope, thank you. I’m so glad you are feeling well now. ♥️

[Suraj]

Hey siderale

It's so nice of you to tell your story and congratulations for your success 

Can you please tell me how long (months or years) after stopping escitalopram did you feel your memory and cognitive level

Returned to normal

I'm 6 months off lexparo completely 

And suffer from memory and Sharpness in thinking along with other symptoms.