Home sweet home : creating a safe, nurturing environment for yourself

[souim]

Hi,

 

I haven't seen any topic devoted to this subject, sorry if I missed it.

 

I wanted to share my experience dealing with anxiety and withdrawal by improving my home and making it more welcoming for myself.

 

I currently live alone in a smallish (two rooms) parisian appartment. I tend to spend a lot of time at home, because I'm an introvert, and well... dealing with anxiety and withdrawal. Like many people I've also been working from home for the past two years, and will probably continue to do so. Lately, it has become very apparent to me that my environment has a very direct, (if subconscious)  impact on my well being.

 

I've never particularly enjoyed cleaning, I'm naturally sort of messy, and I don't have a lot of energy because of my withdrawal symptoms and health issues. I'm also pretty broke right now. Nevertheless, I found quite a few ways of making my place nicer, and would be very happy if they could inspire / help someone else out there. It would be great if you shared your own advice as well. ☀️

 

Managing my energy and expectations

 

Home improvement projects can become, like any other project, another way to put pressure on yourself. I found in my case, what works best is to give myself small, realistics tasks that don't take too much time and effort. I list them somewhere and put them off until I feel I have enough energy and am in the right mood. Sometimes, just doing a small thing gives me motivation to do more. Some other time, I have to stop there, and that's fine too.

Another option is to do these things with friends and family. They can be bonding activities, and sometimes it's nice for people to have a more concrete way to help you, when they feel helpless watching you go through all these bad symptoms.

The great thing when I get these things done is that next time I'm in a bad place, well, at least my environment doesn't bring me down even more. Sometimes, it even helps me get better.

 

Decluttering

 

This one is free and actually saves me money. I find decluttering is awesome.

I have this friend who raved about Marie Kondo's book so I borrowed it at the library. It's a quick read, full of sound advice, even if there is nothing groundbreaking in my opinion. It did provide me a method to start decluttering. There are a lot of internet ressources on the subject though, so I don't think reading the book is really necessary.

Decluttering helps me to let go of things, to clear my mind, but also to realize what I own, so I don't buy more or waist stuff. I donate everything I can and it makes me feel good to think these objects will have another life. I don't have time or energy to devote to selling them, even if I'm broke. It's a choice I'm making, and I'm pretty happy with it.

It can be a little bit overwhelming if you put everything on the floor to sort things out, like I do, so I tend to do small amounts of it at a time. Like : today t-shirt. or today : drugs and supplements. etc.

Getting rid (or fixing) stuff that don't work, or that I don't like (I'm thinking about all these clothes I didn't wear or wore when I hadn't done laundry in way too long) made a world of difference in my everyday life. Because everytime I saw these stuff, I felt a little bit guilty or bad. Now they're gone. (Well, not all of them. It's a work in progress). 

 

Small appartment hacks

 

I don't care about having an instagram-perfect appartement, but I found small adjustments can really help. To do them, I observe things that are bothering me or getting in my way daily and try to think of a quick fix. I rent my apparment furnished so I can't make any major changes, but I have still managed to make it a  lot better (and I'm not done).

For instance : I used to pile up all my dirty clothes on this chair in my bathroom. Well, I removed the chair, so now they have to go in the laundry basket. Bought a bunch of adhesive hooks for my keys (I misplaced them all the time), and my kitchen towels. Bought a shoe rack. Bought a few kitchen utensiles that make my life easier. Got a lamp above my desk, because my eyes were always tired. I get these things very progressively, mostly on french craigslist (cheaper, greener option).

When I declutter, I'm also trying to find a better home for my items, and make them easily accessibles. I watched a bunch of organization videos on Youtube to inspire me. I actually find them kind of therapeutic.

 

Decorations

 

Like a true millenial, I barely had any physical pictures in my home, so I selected a bunch on my computer and had them printed on a website. It was pretty cheap. Now I put them around my house, especially above my desk, where I work all day. It's a small thing but it makes me smile and brings me back to happy memories. I switch it once in a while because otherwise my brain gets used to it and I don't really see it anymore. Right now it's a picture of my siblings and me, smiling big. I've found that decorating my appartment with things that are emotionnally meaningful to me makes me happier.

I also got a bunch of makers to write on glass and use them on my bedroom window, to write poems, or quotes that I like. I asked my friends to sign my window as well, it's like a nice guest fell-good book.

 

Plants

 

I started collecting plants a few years ago, and I know own a dozen small ones, placed around my appartement. I really love them. Plants are accessible to all budgets, you can even sometimes find them for free. It's great to have something beautiful to care for.

Two things :

- I don't have a green thumb, (like a true city girl) so I know that it's better for me to have low maintenance plants. Also, sometimes I'm just too tired to take care of anything. I always ask advice in the shop before buying something, because I know it'll depress me if the plants die. I find I have been getting better at getting care of them through trials and errors.

- I'm afraid I still killed a few. It's super important to not feel guilty about it, like I did. Kind of ruins the point. Also, don't be like me and let your dead plants hang around your appartement for weeks. It's so depressing.

 

Batch cooking

 

I started batch cooking a few months ago. Again, it's something I do only once in a while, when I feel good enough, but I find it great, because it really helps me to eat healthier, home cooked meals, even when I'm having a bad day. It saves money as well.

I bought a book for vegetarian batch cooking. Mine is french, but I'm sure there are plenty of good english versions out there. The one I have gives me the list of groceries to buy, and a step by step to cook all my dinners for the week in 2 hours. (In my case, I make enough so it's all my dinners and leftovers for lunch). It's quite well made, and avoids me all the decision fatigue of looking for recipes and planning. It's all easy ingredients that you can buy in the supermarket too, and the recipes are super accessible (they have to be, since you're making so many meals at once).

Sometimes two hours of cooking is too long for me so I split it in two or three time. The point is not necessarily to get everything done as efficiently as possible, but just to make my life easier and less stressful. Having a fridge filled with good food is very rewarding and helps a lot.

 

That's all of it I think, please let me know if you have other advice or tricks to make your home life better.