StarShopping87: Immediate adverse reaction

[Mirtazapine20mg]

49 minutes ago, StarShopping87 said:

Also, I’ve noticed this adr has made me relive traumatic experiences. Even like trauma from my childhood that never in a million years I would have thought about. So weird! 

I also have this a lot. So good to hear that I am not alone. 

[ChessieCat]

I moved your tagging post to Phoenixmama's intro topic.

[StarShopping87]

I read that lexapro is the most potent of all ssri. When it comes to adverse reactions, does it matter if it was lexapro or zoloft or Prozac? Like because lexapro is most potent will it take longer to heal from vs someone who reacted after a few low doses of zoloft or Prozac? Or is all healing the same regardless of whatever you take and reacted from? @Altostrata 

[Altostrata]

10 hours ago, StarShopping87 said:

When it comes to adverse reactions, does it matter if it was lexapro or zoloft or Prozac?

 

No

[StarShopping87]

9 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

No

Ok thank you!  After hearing that, it’s been weighing heavily on my mind. 

[Greatful]

@StarShopping87

Stopping by to see how you are doing?❤️

[StarShopping87]

3 minutes ago, Greatful said:

@StarShopping87

Stopping by to see how you are doing?❤️

Not good 😔 these brain sensations are horrid, my anxiety and fear are really bad as well. I’ve been in a wave for 4 days and im terrified. I’ve been crying for 2 days, and I’m scared this is never going to end. The brain stuff feels like it’s getting worse. 

[Greatful]

@StarShopping87 Boy oh Boy can I relate to brain sensations.  The waves can seem relentless and go on forever, but it will pass. Things will intensify and go and new symptoms will come and go and come back again.

 

Is there something you can do to distract yourself?  I know how hard it is to do when your brain is hurting, you feel awful, maybe weak, fatigue and brain disconnected but find  anything.  My therapist told me to stop asking myself why this or that and ask myself what I can do today.  It kind of helps to think of little things like, water the garden, shower, make lunch.  It will pass the time and maybe you can feel a little bit accomplishment.  If you look back  you  will see no matter how hard the days can, we somehow get through it and make it to your pillow every night.  We survive the day and we can survive more days. 

 

Somehow I have to stop the spiral of being stuck like this,  try not fight the thought, distract, watch or read things that, show us  adverse effects,  withdrawal, protracted withdrawal, is real and is happening to us and 100- 1 000's of people. We are not alone and it helps to get that validation.  

I wish I could say or do something that would help ease your pain, All I can do is validate and listen. Maybe find something to help encourage you from time to time.

 

Big hug🤗 

[StarShopping87]

Really struggling bad with this wave. So many of my old symptoms have returned for the worst. I can’t tell if I have just severe inner anxiety or if it’s akathesia so it’s freaking me out. I feel this inner restlessness and adrenaline in my chest. I don’t feel the need to pace or move but it’s a hard symptom to deal with. My brain can’t catch a break, it’s all over the place. I’ve cried for like 5 days straight. Im trying to accept and float but I feel like I’m going crazy. 

[Ariel]

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time right now @StarShopping87

Remember this is temporary and it will pass.

You are very brave, you're working hard and doing a good job getting through this.

Hang in there, Star. It gets better <3

[Greatful]

@StarShopping87

I feel and validate  your pain.  Please remind yourself that you are experiencing something that should not be.

All you can do is make  it through today be kind to yourself and tomorrow will take care of itself.♥️

  

[StarShopping87]

This is pure psychological torture

[Ariel]

Hi @StarShopping87

Have you ever tried cold showers or a cold plunge into very cold lake/sea? Or even just preparing a big mixing bowl full of ice water and sticking your face in? It can really bring relief from the worst of it when things get very challenging. 

 

I also really recommend this post, What is happening in your brain?

It describes some of the stuff going on in your body while you're healing and can help us understand why we get such bizarre uncomfortable symptoms. 

I recommend reading the whole essay, and I'll also include an excerpt below that pertains to your current situation:

 

*

NERVE REGENERATION CAN CAUSE UNPLEASANT SENSATIONS. As counterintuitive as it is,  HEALING CAN FEEL LIKE HURT. 
But it's NOT further hurt or damage. It's the REVERSAL of damage. 

Um  - yeah - okay. Great - but what do I DO about it.

[...] much the things that I have discovered that help through this healing are to "CONFUSE" the nerves as much as possible, IF possible. 
What? Confuse the nerves?

You know how you get a cut or an insect bite and you immediately press on it to make it feel less painful? What you are doing when you press or squeeze the area is "desensitizing' the entire skin region of the cut by applying pressure to ALL the nerves in the area. That way, the ONE sensation of pain from the cut isn't the only thing your brain is feeling.  The pressure from pushing down on  ALL the nerves in the area helps to send multiple sensation to the brain to "counteract" the pain sensation.  And it works.
Similarly, other things can help "confuse" nerves:
-Heat
-Cold
-[...] Pressure
- Massage
-creams like "Icy Hot" with menthol

All of these things have helped me cope in recovery.

Let me take it one by one:

Heat: I took and [...] take hot baths almost every day. In the peak of akathisia, I lived in the tub. As hot as I could stand it really helped me. All the heat was "overregistering" in my brain and I was unable to feel the akathisia as much when in the tub. It was confusing the nerve signal and it was temporary relief.  I hated those days. But I got through them.  Likewise, a heating pad for pain was my friend a lot of the time. 

-Cold -  I used a cold washcloth on burning skin - and on my face and hands - and kept dipping it in ice water and applying it.  This is an easy one, but it helped. I had a wave with 3 days of "fireface" last month and all I could do was apply the washcloth, lay there and think about how "this is healing" and keep going. But the wave passed.

[...] Pressure  I use a 15 pound weighted blanket to sleep. I have for YEARS. I ordered it online. It has many pockets with little plastic balls equally distributed to create a very heavy blanket that creates "[...] pressure". This kind of pressure is calming for anyone's nervous system. Occupational Therapists use it for children with autism, but people with anxiety can benefit from sleeping with one. And in recovery, I was glad to have it.  I used it often together with a heating pad.  It took the edge off just long enough. 

Massage This one CAN be helpful - but sometimes not.  I used to ask my husband just to "press down" on my head or my legs.  Just press there. Don't rub.  My skin hurt too much to rub, but the [...] pressure from pressing was helpful. Other times, the actual massage was a help for sore muscles.  I was too agoraphobic to schedule a REAL massage. LOL. But just this help from my family was nice to have.

Creams You're going to laugh, but there was a day that I put Vick's VapoRub on my face because my face was so HOT!  I figured if this is safe for my baby's skin, it's probably okay to try it on my face.  It worked! Oh man - my face felt SO good all day.  I used that for a few days until the wave passed.  I have also tried "Icy Hot" on my back when it was sore.  Things like this work on the same principal to "confuse the nerves".  If your nerves are too busy feeling the heat/cool of menthol, they cannot simultaneously feel "pain". So for a short time, the pain is not "felt" even though the "soreness" is technically [...] there.
 

*

 

[StarShopping87]

On 6/28/2022 at 2:43 PM, Ariel said:

Hi @StarShopping87

Have you ever tried cold showers or a cold plunge into very cold lake/sea? Or even just preparing a big mixing bowl full of ice water and sticking your face in? It can really bring relief from the worst of it when things get very challenging. 

 

I also really recommend this post, What is happening in your brain?

It describes some of the stuff going on in your body while you're healing and can help us understand why we get such bizarre uncomfortable symptoms. 

I recommend reading the whole essay, and I'll also include an excerpt below that pertains to your current situation:

 

*

NERVE REGENERATION CAN CAUSE UNPLEASANT SENSATIONS. As counterintuitive as it is,  HEALING CAN FEEL LIKE HURT. 
But it's NOT further hurt or damage. It's the REVERSAL of damage. 

Um  - yeah - okay. Great - but what do I DO about it.

[...] much the things that I have discovered that help through this healing are to "CONFUSE" the nerves as much as possible, IF possible. 
What? Confuse the nerves?

You know how you get a cut or an insect bite and you immediately press on it to make it feel less painful? What you are doing when you press or squeeze the area is "desensitizing' the entire skin region of the cut by applying pressure to ALL the nerves in the area. That way, the ONE sensation of pain from the cut isn't the only thing your brain is feeling.  The pressure from pushing down on  ALL the nerves in the area helps to send multiple sensation to the brain to "counteract" the pain sensation.  And it works.
Similarly, other things can help "confuse" nerves:
-Heat
-Cold
-[...] Pressure
- Massage
-creams like "Icy Hot" with menthol

All of these things have helped me cope in recovery.

Let me take it one by one:

Heat: I took and [...] take hot baths almost every day. In the peak of akathisia, I lived in the tub. As hot as I could stand it really helped me. All the heat was "overregistering" in my brain and I was unable to feel the akathisia as much when in the tub. It was confusing the nerve signal and it was temporary relief.  I hated those days. But I got through them.  Likewise, a heating pad for pain was my friend a lot of the time. 

-Cold -  I used a cold washcloth on burning skin - and on my face and hands - and kept dipping it in ice water and applying it.  This is an easy one, but it helped. I had a wave with 3 days of "fireface" last month and all I could do was apply the washcloth, lay there and think about how "this is healing" and keep going. But the wave passed.

[...] Pressure  I use a 15 pound weighted blanket to sleep. I have for YEARS. I ordered it online. It has many pockets with little plastic balls equally distributed to create a very heavy blanket that creates "[...] pressure". This kind of pressure is calming for anyone's nervous system. Occupational Therapists use it for children with autism, but people with anxiety can benefit from sleeping with one. And in recovery, I was glad to have it.  I used it often together with a heating pad.  It took the edge off just long enough. 

Massage This one CAN be helpful - but sometimes not.  I used to ask my husband just to "press down" on my head or my legs.  Just press there. Don't rub.  My skin hurt too much to rub, but the [...] pressure from pressing was helpful. Other times, the actual massage was a help for sore muscles.  I was too agoraphobic to schedule a REAL massage. LOL. But just this help from my family was nice to have.

Creams You're going to laugh, but there was a day that I put Vick's VapoRub on my face because my face was so HOT!  I figured if this is safe for my baby's skin, it's probably okay to try it on my face.  It worked! Oh man - my face felt SO good all day.  I used that for a few days until the wave passed.  I have also tried "Icy Hot" on my back when it was sore.  Things like this work on the same principal to "confuse the nerves".  If your nerves are too busy feeling the heat/cool of menthol, they cannot simultaneously feel "pain". So for a short time, the pain is not "felt" even though the "soreness" is technically [...] there.
 

*

 

Thank you for this, the brain stuff is so weird and scary feeling. I don’t think what I have is aka, but severe surges of anxiety (mixed with cortisol- maybe?)  that lasts for a while, it comes and goes throughout the day. Today it has happened 2-3 times but I usually get some relief the past couple nights. I feel manic today, emotional, terrible fear, guilt. The fear of never healing is severe so every time I think about it I cry. I cry all the time now. Whether it’s thoughts, stress, fear, looking at the wall. Everything triggers me. I do sleep (if I can sleep which is not much) with a 15lbs weight blanket but dang it is soo hot!! It does help a little with the anxiety, I just wish it were heavier. 
it’s very frustrating because that drugged feeling I had bad in the first 2 months has come back and tomorrow marks my 5th month. I was hoping to see some, even if it’s just a little bit, of progress.
This wave is totally kicking my butt! I never know how tomorrow is going to be. I feel the need to constantly look for assurance which is extremely annoying. I keep coming up with every reason as to why I will not heal from this and it’s terrifying. And then the horror stories I’ve read on fb about adverse reactions keep replaying in my mind. It’s all just awful and terrifying. 

[Greatful]

@StarShopping87

Hang in there.  This wave has to lose some of it energy soon.  Oh boy stay off facebook or anything that is going to come across as hopeless.  We need to find things that will encourage  us not take us down.  Our brains do

enough of that all by itself.  In our delicate state we tend to lock on the worst stories or information, even if there was positive stories.  It could be 10 good to 1 bad and guess what the bad is going to take hold.   

 

You have a weighted blanket too.  I have 2 in the winter I drag one around with me  but sleep with both. 😁 It must come to 35 to 40 pounds together 🤣Now i leave the smaller one on the couch. So far the bed one is still there.  Sometimes I put the air on super cool at night ☺️😊 We also have a ceiling fan over the bed.  It does get warm sometimes😒

 

That's okay to keep asking for reassurance.  That's one of the many reasons we are here, to support, encourage and yep  to give reassurance ♥️

So Starshopping you can heal from this.🤗

[Ariel]

@StarShopping87

Sending you a hug <3

[Phoenixmama]

@StarShopping87 💜

[StarShopping87]

Would it be ok to try melatonin again if I had issues with it during month 1 and 2? I took it when insomnia was at its worst, and had the opposite effect (pacing, restlessness, severe anxiety, unable to relax) . I’ve heard people can tolerate stuff they weren’t able to in the beginning, however I don’t want to make things worse than they are now. I’ve come a long way since then. 

[ChessieCat]

Melatonin

 

This topic explains about taking very small doses of melatonin.

 

If you do try anything new only try one thing at a time, or make one change at a time, and try a very small amount.

 

  

On 4/7/2011 at 11:26 AM, Altostrata said:

Studies show you don't need much melatonin to get sleep started, just 0.33mg. Often you can't get melatonin in smaller than 1mg tablets; half a tablet, 0.50mg may be close enough. These are physiological doses, the level that your body ordinarily maintains, rather than medical doses. If you get no effect with 0.3-0.5mg, try a little more. (Personally, under my doctor's supervision, I worked up to 2mg melatonin at night. I've been taking it regularly every night for 3 years. I do not believe I've developed a dependency on it; I get sleepy when it gets dark anyway. Additional melatonin gives my brain a gentle reminder it's time to sleep.)

 

Large doses of melatonin do NOT aid sleep -- they might cause your oversensitive brain to wake up, instead. I found when I took more than 2mg of melatonin, I was weepy in the morning. If you get this or a paradoxical reaction (waking) or are dopey in the morning, it's a sign you're taking too much.

 

 

 

[StarShopping87]

@ChessieCat do you think it would be a bad idea to try it again though since it was too activating the first time ? I think I only took .25 of a dropper.. I just don’t want to make things worse and go backwards 

[Greatful]

@StarShopping87  I know how scary it is to make any changes, but this is something that only you can decided.

Take the bull by the horns and do it.  Then you will know. and the what should I do debate that is  swirling  around and around your brain will stop.  Just to find a new one right🙄 

Do you panic about, can I eat this or that.  This whole experience has robbed us from the ability to function as able minded adults.

 

Hang in there Starshopping ♥️

[StarShopping87]

@Greatful yes you are right. Unfortunately I will have to decide for myself. Just scared to put anything in my body. Yes, I get scared about food as well. Although, I did pig out on the 4th and all was well, no sweets though. After this last horrid wave I have felt a great change. Maybe some real windows? Idk but things just feel more different now in a positive way. As far as my sleep goes, I am sleeping whether it be 4 or 6 hrs (thanks cortisol!), I’m just having a really hard time falling asleep. I lie awake for what seems like hours.  Would love a full nights rest right about now lol 

[Phoenixmama]

@StarShopping87 💜🌞

[Altostrata]

On 7/7/2022 at 4:03 PM, StarShopping87 said:

@ChessieCat do you think it would be a bad idea to try it again though since it was too activating the first time ? I think I only took .25 of a dropper.. I just don’t want to make things worse and go backwards 

 

How many milligrams melatonin is 1/4 of a dropper?

[StarShopping87]

@Altostrata it’s zarbees kids, so the dosages are .25, .50, .75 and 1ml 

[Altostrata]

A dosage of 1/4 of a dropper doesn't mean anything. You have to figure out how many milligrams of melatonin is in a milliliter, and how many milliliters in a dropper.

[Greatful]

@StarShopping87How are you doing?🌞

[StarShopping87]

@Greatful hey! I’m doing ok, just following the usual pattern.. it’s still pretty unpredictable right now. After the last horrid wave i was in I hit a 8 day window despite some insomnia and anxiety, and some sensations. I felt amazing though! We had family fly in on vaca last weekend and that’s when the insomnia hit hard. I think it was from being over stimulated and the stress of having company… trying to clean and all the noise and commotion. However I handled it quiet well. No crying or anything. My husband said you never would’ve known! So naturally after they left, I fell into a wave but not severe like the last one.. enough to make me miserable though. Back to crying and fear, weird brain stuff and some other usual symptoms. I finally crashed the day before yesterday and got like 9 hrs of sleep, and I slept pretty good last night, another (maybe) 8 hrs. I’ll be approaching 6 months in 2 weeks so I’m praying sleep will start to improve or atleast be more consistent. I definitely feel improvements until the waves hit 😖thanks for checking in! I hope all is well your way 🥰

[Davidander]

@StarShopping87 Hey, how are you doing?  Hopefully better!  

[StarShopping87]

I’m almost 12 months out and recently had Covid over Christmas break. It has set me back severely. Insane gut wrenching terror I’ve never felt before, terrible surges, insomnia and inner agitation. I’m terrified I’m never going to heal and it’s taking every bone in my body to get through the day. My rumination is out of control and I feel like I’m spiraling back into hell. I was starting to feel so much better with decent windows and my waves were not the best but somewhat manageable compared to how I feel now. Is this normal to have such a severe setback? Do I have to restart acute all over again? I just need some guidance. I’ve been in this massive wave over a month now with no end in sight. Just feels like I’m getting worse and worse. My brain feels horrifying. 

[StarShopping87]

Has anyone experienced a setback from Covid?? 

[Walleebug]

Hello.  I'm not sure if I have covid but a virus has hit my home and now I feel terrible.   Almost as bad as the beginning of my withdrawl.   I would not be surprised at all if its covid. Have your symptoms gotten any better at all? How long has it been that you've been feeling bad?

[StarShopping87]

Since the day after Christmas things went downhill. Just keeps getting worse and worse. I started getting sick around Dec 13th but then I tested positive the day after Christmas and that’s when fever hit and all the symptoms got extremely ramped up. I was maybe sick a week or so. Only ran fever for 24hrs and that was it. 

[StarShopping87]

It was my 2nd round of Covid 

[Walleebug]

It sounds like we are going through the same thing.   If we have covid this will be my second time as well.  The anxiety is terrible.  My heart is driving me crazy.   It beats so fast.  Even my husband who's never had any anxiety said his heart is beating strangely.  

[StarShopping87]

Do you have insomnia and fear/terror or surges? Have you tested for Covid? You can pm me if you want to chat!