shazzak1403: my journey so far

[shazzak1403]

Hiya everyone i was diagnosed with emotional unstable personality disorder back in 2011 and was put on quietipine and venlafaxine and they were slowly increased over the years. These medications completely changed who i was as a person i found i lost myself and they simply shut off all my emotions and feelings and i lived like a zombie who did nothing buy sleep for hours of a day and then sleep all night so i decided to come off them, i wanted to live again to feel again and to find who i am againd and now im currently 6 months into stopping all my meds. I was on 225 mg of  venlafaxine and 200mg of quietipine .

I have a feeling i have tampered too quickly but the thing is i really dont want to go back onto the medication.

I started to tamper in july 2021 from both medications. i reduced by a bead on the venlafaxine every time i felt stable after a reduction.

with the quietipine i used a pill cutter and reduced that way making a reduction everytime i felt stable.

I did suffer withdrawal symptoms such as brain zaps, nausea, shakes, headaches, feeling anxious and hot and cold sweats.

Fast forward to now and all them symptoms have gone away all except one the anxiety.

Im frightened of everything even things i cant control

I wake up every morning with tightness in my chest, im getting palpitations in my heart daily, i have this knot in my stomach that flips and does summer saults over the smallest things.

I have ordered herbal tablets from holland and barrets such as ashwagandha and rhodiola as research shows that these seem to help.

 

I really dont want to have to go  back on the medication and reinstate as it makes me really angry, depressed, shuts off all my emotions and makes me like a zombie

 

I feel like im scrambling for help as i dont like feeling scared, i feel like ive gone back to being a child in an unsafe situation and i can't take back the control

Is there anything else i can do/take to get this under control .

[Frogie]

@shazzak1403

 

Welcome to SA. We are a volunteer run site helping members taper off psychiatric medications or have tapered off and are now healing.

 

This is your introduction page where you will receive information, ask questions and meet other members. We ask that you only have one introduction page so we can keep all your information in one place.

 

First can I please ask you to create a signature. Thank you.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

 

Unfortunately, you probably did taper too fast and that is why you are experiencing these withdrawal symptoms. We don't suggest more than a 10% a month taper and a lot find that too fast.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

 

Brain Remodelling

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

Tips for tapering off venlafaxine (Effexor)

 

 

Tips for tapering off quetiapine (Seroquel)

 

 

 

You could reinstate a small amount and see how you do.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

If you don't wish to reinstate, then time is the only thing that will heal you. We don't suggest supplements on here except 2 as they can be stimulating to your nervous system. If you want to try a small amount of one wait a few days before introducing the other.

 

Magnesium

Omega-3 Fish Oil

 

After you read these links, please reach out with any questions you may have. If you do wish to reinstate after reading these links, I would be happy to help you.

 

 

 

 

Edited April 14, 2022 by Frogie

[shazzak1403]

Thanks frogie for at that information. Ive soent the past 2 days having  a good read over it.

I had a feeling it was withdrawal that i was experiencing i just wasnt 100% sure 

 

Im scared to go back onto any of the medication as the withdrawal fro  the venlafaxine is horrendous even as low tampering i feel traumatised when doing it and my head is currently screaming please dont reinstate 

I know that mite sound silly and probably reinstating amd tampering at slow pace probably wont cause the reactions ive experienced but that fear is there that i will have them.

 

Will my nervous system ever repair itself?

Will this ever go away if i dont reinstate?

 

[Frogie]

@shazzak1403

 

Time is what takes you to heal. We can't predict when or how long it will take but many members have healed over time without reinstating.

 

Look around on the site under success stories and such.

 

If I can help any further, please let me know.

[shazzak1403]

Thankyou that gives me hope

[shazzak1403]

Hiya ive been reading diffeernt topics the last few days and i have taken some valuble information from them and for that im so grateful that i have rejoined this forum

Im came of all medications in September 2021

I was on 225mg venlafaxine and 200mg quetiapine 

I tampered off very quickly i know this as it was done over a period of 8 weeks

I wanted to be free of rhe drugs my life was hell i was full of rage sleeping all the time and emotionally numb i was done

 

Fast forward to now and im suffering with anxiety of a morning its the worst anxiety i have ever had and ive had it now since around about jan and every morning is the same

Ive been an got vitimin c and magnesium as suggested in another post and it does help ease 

 

Is it too late to reistate?

If not how will i work out 1mg of venlafaxine as when i open the capsual it has beads in it and ive worked out each bead i think is 12mg

 

Im battling with myself about reinstating as part of me is saying ride it out uve hot this it will get better and the other part is screaming give me the meds i cant take any more

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Another couple of questions:

 

Q:  What stage of life are you at regarding menstruation?

 

Q:  Have you had any surgeries or dental work done?

[shazzak1403]

Im 39 and im not pre menopause or at least i dont think i am i wouldn't know to be fair as ive never thought to look into it 

Ive had no dental work or surgeries done in the past 5 years 

 

This onset of symptoms started 4 months after stopping all medicines i feel lile im climbing the walls of a morning waiting for the feeling of fear amd dispare and negative rapid thoughts to pass, once this passes im left either feeling pretty ok or drained and exhausted and feeling sorry for myself 

 

If i knew then about how the medication makes u feel on or off it i would never have taken it 

[ChessieCat]

9 minutes ago, shazzak1403 said:

i feel lile im climbing the walls of a morning

 

It sounds like it might be due to cortisol.

 

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

 

[shazzak1403]

1 minute ago, ChessieCat said:

 

It sounds like it might be due to cortisol.

 

early-morning-waking-managing-the-morning-cortisol-spike

 

Ive been researching for months and ive come to the same conclusion. It was one of the posts in the forum i started to read 2 weeks ago and went through every page

I do think its this 

Ive tried darkening the room, ive tried reducing caffine, im currently taking vitamin c and magnesium and also 5htp and it keeps me calm through the day but the dreaded waking is still happening 

Its the feeling of fear and not knowing what im scared of

The loosing control an clutching at things to try and make it stop

Nothing i do seems to make it stop and it persiste for about 2 to 3 hours sometimes longer 

I have days were i will cry over the stupidest things

I have a lot of negative feeling towards people and im down on myself so much 

 

Im thinking its to late now to reinstate but i feel like there is no end to this nightmare

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

Q: Do you do any gentle exercise or relaxation?

 

If you drink caffeinated drinks then you might consider cutting them out.

 

 Because you know what it is then it can help to not add fear to it.  I suggest that you do relaxation throughout the day because stress slows recovery because the brain is busy trying to deal with the perceived threat (which is what it sees stress as) and it cannot work on both recovery and keeping your body safe from harm at the same time.

 

I found it helpful to learn to accept the situation and to "go with the flow".  It wasn't necessarily easy but it did help.

 

Acceptance

 

SA strongly encourages members to learn and use non drug coping techniques.  I have found that the non drug coping skills that I learned during my taper have become part of my life and I use them for general life and health coping.

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

I have found relaxation techniques very helpful.  With the relaxation I think it is better to do short periods of it throughout the day, regardless of whether you feel you need to do it.  Think of it like an old fashioned kettle on stove, the sort with the whistle.  If you keep turning the heat on and off the whistle will never blow because the steam won't build up.  Relaxation techniques work in a similar way.  You probably won't get rid of the stress completely but you keep bringing it down a bit so that it doesn't get to the build up.

 

I now find that I more quickly pick up when I am starting to feel "different" (tired, confused, anxious etc) and it's second nature now to do some sort of non drug technique (self talk, breathing exercise, get up and look at something different) to cope with whatever it is that is happening.

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk
 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Male voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

  

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.

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On 6/16/2022 at 2:53 AM, getofflex said:

APPLE Technique

 

I just came across a very nice technique that really helps me.  It's called APPLE. I have printed it and have it where I can see it every day and be reminded of it so I internalize this technique. 

 

A - Acknowledge Notice and acknowledge the thought or uncertainty as it comes to mind. 

 

P - Pause Don't react as you normally do.  Don't react at all.  Just pause and breathe.   

 

P - Pull Back Tell yourself this is just the thought or worry talking, and this apparent need for worry or analysis or certainty is not helpful and not necessary.  It is only a thought or feeling.  Don't believe everything you think.  Thoughts are not statements or facts.   

 

L - Let Go Let go of the thought or feeling.  It will pass.  You don't have to respond to it.  You might imagine the thought floating away in a bubble or cloud.   

 

E - Explore Explore the present moment, because right now, in this moment, you are OK.  Notice your breathing and the sensations of your breathing.  Notice the ground beneath you.  Look around and notice what you see, what you hear, what you can touch, what you can smell.  Right now.  Then shift your focus of attention to something else - on what you need to do, on what you were doing before you noticed the thought or worry, or do something else - mindfully - with your full attention.  

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[shazzak1403]

Thanks so much for the information i will have a look over it and hopefully keep moving forward and eventually heal 

 

Im just hoping and can get through all this 🙏 😌 

 

 

Edited August 21, 2022 by ChessieCat
removed blank quote

[Spenitate]

Hi shazzak I just thought I'd pop in and check how you were doing?

[shazzak1403]

Hiya thanks for checking in really appreciate it, im not doing to bad the days are getting slightly easier my anxiety hasnt been as intense thankgod.

 

I am however still bad between 5am and 8am I still wake with criplling anxiety which i know is cortisol levels increasing. Im hoping its not gonna be much Longer till this disperses im coming up to 13 months of it so im hoping the end is near.  Day by day 

How are u doing xx

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by ChessieCat
removed white space at bottom of post

[Spenitate]

25 minutes ago, shazzak1403 said:

Hiya thanks for checking in really appreciate it, im not doing to bad the days are getting slightly easier my anxiety hasnt been as intense thankgod.

 

I am however still bad between 5am and 8am I still wake with criplling anxiety which i know is cortisol levels increasing. Im hoping its not gonna be much Longer till this disperses im coming up to 13 months of it so im hoping the end is near.  Day by day 

How are u doing xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m really pleased to hear it’s easing for you. The early morning cortisol thing is totally normal and I get it too. Terrible feelings of anxiety and fear. Recently I’ve had a couple of days when it hasn’t kicked in immediately on waking so I hope that gives you hope that it will ease in time!

[shazzak1403]

Thanks im hoping so too just want to sleep past 5am hahah and wake up feeling calm and relaxed.. fingers crossed it wont ve much longer .. so glad things are getting better for you hopefully were noth nearing the end of the torture 🙏 🙌 xx

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by ChessieCat
removed white space at bottom of post