DazzlingCold: 20 years on AD

[Mdawg]

1 hour ago, DazzlingCold said:

Date  June 28, 2022

 

Slept 7 hours last night

 

6am woke up

 

6:30am breakfast, 1/2cup coffee, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work, sad, depressed, green tea with turmeric, ginger & cinnamon

 

9:30am Adenosyl/Hydroxy B12

 

12:00pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg

 

5:30pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

9:30pm  mag glycinate 200mg, probiotics 10billion

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 17- follicular phase

 

Better than yesterday

Rough morning… Better evening… tired… didn’t workout but felt creative and started a paint-by-number piece at night. 

With these two reductions, I have seen exponential growth. First was the change in lifestyle to a healthier one and gaining ability to appreciate the smaller things more as well as feeling empowered and proud to act from my value system, as opposed to being a slave to dopamine rushes. Gained a lot of awareness about past experiences and choices.

This second reduction came with a big wave that has awakened sensitivity and compassion for Earth and animals. Its been painful as chewing on ground beef brings horrible animal cruelty images to my mind. So much that I could not handle eating meat today. If animals were treated with compassion, maybe I would think about consuming then for nutrition. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, and my heart just can’t continue knowing certain choices I make are causing such atrocities to other beings. 

I thought these animal thing was a wave only related thing, and maybe it was. But I was impacted to the bone and I am glad. I suffered from abuse when I was defenseless. It breaks my heart to see others in the same situation. And animals are not “just animals” for me. We share this world with each other. So many animals, even silk worms, have nervous systems similar, in  some ways, to us. 

 

I wonder if future reductions will come with more drastic changes. I feel Ive already changed so much so fast that every part of my being still needs to catch up. So hopefully, future changes will be slower and more subtle before it is time to level up again. 
 

i often wonder which factors have affected this much growth that’s happened so fast. Could it be my past psilocybin intake paired with tapering? Because I did start appreciating nature, and accepting my more human states of mind, more since medium and micro doses of it. Maybe it was overdue growth from practices I have been implementing, including heavy sessions of inner child work and somatic experiencing. Hmmm 🤔 🧐  or maybe its Maybelline 🤣 (lol, my jokes 🤦🏻‍♀️… gotta find the funny somewhere 🤷🏻‍♀️)

In my experience, tapering catalyzes a great deal of spiritual growth all at once 🌳

[DazzlingCold]

Date  June 29, 2022

 

Slept 6.5 hours last night

 

6am woke up

 

6:30am breakfast, 1/2cup coffee, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work, anxious, aprehensive, depressed, green tea with turmeric, ginger & cinnamon

 

9:30am Adenosyl/Hydroxy B12

 

12:00pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg

 

5:30pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

9:30pm  mag glycinate 300mg, probiotics 10billion, lactium 336mg, .75mg melatonin, anxious, depressed

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 17- follicular phase

 

Crying spells all day. Obsessive thoughts about living beings suffering. High anxiety, disregulated. Hygiene decreasing. Waves and slight  windows through day as if my whole being is trying to adjust. Activity decreased. Fatigue increased with appetite. Getting more than minimum things done despite it all but may need to push even less. Feel more aware of self than last reduction. 

I feel as if things that have been stuck inside are coming out and my being is trying to integrate through a lot of confusion. 

Will start to taper off coffee to avoid anxiety despite fatigue

[Ariel]

Hi @DazzlingCold

Sending you a hug <3

I'm sorry it's rough. 

 

Good to hear you plan to taper off coffee. Eliminating caffeine can help significantly. That includes green tea, by the way. 

You probably already know that B12 can be activating? 

Also, some people find probiotics and fish oil activating, too. 

 

I have not read all of your daily reports so am not familiar with your process around these, just mentioning it. On my own journey I have had high hopes and the best intentions with various supplements and have learned the hard way I'm best off sticking with magnesium only. 

 

Hang in there, Dazz, you're doing a really good job <3

[DazzlingCold]

On 6/29/2022 at 12:06 AM, Mdawg said:

In my experience, tapering catalyzes a great deal of spiritual growth all at once 🌳

Beautiful but hard right? At thia point I want it to stop. Allow my being to catch up and level up before more comes on. At least I am giving up animal products because even companies that claim to be cruelty free are not. Their pain is mine. Even silk worms have nervous systems!

the pain of the abuse to animals as if we were superior creatures when we are so barbaric has been unshakeable. Light and lots of love during the hard times for you, and also for the good ones. 

[Mdawg]

12 hours ago, DazzlingCold said:

Date  June 29, 2022

 

Slept 6.5 hours last night

 

6am woke up

 

6:30am breakfast, 1/2cup coffee, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work, anxious, aprehensive, depressed, green tea with turmeric, ginger & cinnamon

 

9:30am Adenosyl/Hydroxy B12

 

12:00pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg

 

5:30pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

9:30pm  mag glycinate 300mg, probiotics 10billion, lactium 336mg, .75mg melatonin, anxious, depressed

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 17- follicular phase

 

Crying spells all day. Obsessive thoughts about living beings suffering. High anxiety, disregulated. Hygiene decreasing. Waves and slight  windows through day as if my whole being is trying to adjust. Activity decreased. Fatigue increased with appetite. Getting more than minimum things done despite it all but may need to push even less. Feel more aware of self than last reduction. 

I feel as if things that have been stuck inside are coming out and my being is trying to integrate through a lot of confusion. 

Will start to taper off coffee to avoid anxiety despite fatigue

💜 maybe gently phasing out some of the activating supplements and especially caffeine of any kind would help?  I feel you on those things.  I have also found cinnamon to be very activating/dysregulating personally 

I hope things even out soon.  Have you tried breathwork? It could maybe replace caffeine and also relax you as there are all kinds of breathwork for controlling autonomic nervous system.  You are healing 🌳

[Mdawg]

32 minutes ago, DazzlingCold said:

Beautiful but hard right? At thia point I want it to stop. Allow my being to catch up and level up before more comes on. At least I am giving up animal products because even companies that claim to be cruelty free are not. Their pain is mine. Even silk worms have nervous systems!

the pain of the abuse to animals as if we were superior creatures when we are so barbaric has been unshakeable. Light and lots of love during the hard times for you, and also for the good ones. 

Yeah it sounds like you might want to hold for a while besides maybe limiting the supplements.  It sounds like your empathy is coming back in a flood!  It’s a beautiful thing but painful to care so much.  Animal products are high in histamine and inflammation anyway, so you would probably feel better without them.  I am personally still eating fish and eggs, but trying to slowly reduce those as well and get pasture raised eggs if at all.  Every living being feels pain, plants included… sometimes withdrawal can feel like you’re feeling the pain of all the living beings in the world!  Healing vibes 🌊🌴💜

[Mdawg]

On 6/30/2022 at 11:28 AM, Mdawg said:

Yeah it sounds like you might want to hold for a while besides maybe limiting the supplements.  It sounds like your empathy is coming back in a flood!  It’s a beautiful thing but painful to care so much.  Animal products are high in histamine and inflammation anyway, so you would probably feel better without them.  I am personally still eating fish and eggs, but trying to slowly reduce those as well and get pasture raised eggs if at all.  Every living being feels pain, plants included… sometimes withdrawal can feel like you’re feeling the pain of all the living beings in the world!  Healing vibes 🌊🌴💜

Sorry about the advicey advice… I hate when people give me unsolicited advice especially now lol 🤦‍♀️

[DazzlingCold]

Date  June 30, 2022

 

Slept 7.5 hours last night

 

6am woke up

 

6:30am breakfast, 1/4cup coffee, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work

 

12:00pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, low self esteem, negative, stuck feeling when it came to setting boundaries and feeling empowered, low energy

 

5:00pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

9:30pm  mag glycinate 300mg, probiotics 10billion, lactium 336mg, .75mg melatonin

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 20- luteal phase

 

 

Vitamin b12 was exacerbating the wave i am going through, if not causing it. I had stopped vit b complex yo avoid activating and I forgot that and started a new kind of b12 to help with mood and cognitive issues. Lesson learned.  Im always open to feedback, but at the end of the day, a lot of things we have to screw up to learn. That’s life. 

 

Still feeling for animals, all of them… even fish and crabs and silk worms. They all have nervous systems and feel pain. When it comes to what is right and wrong I now see that if I ask for respect and needed it when I was abused, why do I not respect the suffering of other beings in whatever similar or different way they feel it and perceive it. My choices of staying away from animal cruelty, and consumption (which comes with cruelty wether companies announce differently or not), and of supporting causes against animal cruelty are still strong. 

 

The apprehension of it all now feels manageable. I stopped vit b12 2 days ago and just started feeling better today and I was able to fall asleep even without melatonin last night. Now, im on a journey of learning how to live a vegan life. I struggle eating the meat in my freezer but payday is not for another week. It’s been entertaining to learn about a vegan life. There’s SO many vegan foods out there even super high in protein which is important to me as I lift weights (eventhough I am at the skinniest ive been in maybe a decade and have less muscle… but that’s ok because its part of learning to eat mindfully and listening to my body). Im still healthy though and that’s what’s important. 

 

As I go through my day, Ive been experiencing people commenting on how I can afford to eat this or that bc im so skinny and that I need to eat more and that I feel bad bc “i don’t eat” (which I do), etc… and maybe I’m just irritable but it’s been very bothersome. Why do we comment in any way on our body shapes and weights?!? Why do we body shame?? And how is to wrong to body shame someone who has some more weight, but not someone who is still in healthy weight ranges but looks skinny? Neither is right. That’s just another reflection of the “shoulds”, the expectations we have set for all humans. We “should” all look like this because this is what beauty “should” be like. Just to name 1 senseless and toxic expectation. We can be healthy being big or small. I find myself wanting to excuse my weight bow a days. No!!

 

I don’t want to avoid responsibility of my feelings when people comment because there is a narrative there I may be creating, or not… “that there is something wrong with me”. Judging from trauma Inexperienced and one negative core belief… im not sure if im being triggered a little. It still doesn’t make it right for us to comment on peoples body. Commenting on peoples weight, even if they are skinny is a little violating… as if a boundary is crossed by thinking we have the right to tell others what they “should” look like. 

 

No doubt that with these AD reductions, I am abruptly finding the things I feel strongly about at a very fast pace. Like I’ve mentioned, it’s like my being is catching up. The irony of taking AD to feel more like ourselves when it actually dissociated us. Where do we go to or sign lol to stop psychiatry from giving AD? Well, I guess in the case of suicide it may save lives. What’s the alternative to our mainstream mental healthcare? (Just wondering about these issues)

 

The past week when I felt SO bad, as if my nervous system was skinned and exposed, I was reminded of horrible WD symptoms I had in the past and realized that very likely, I thought it was depression but im now bot sure that’s how depression felt before meds. Ive thought about this plenty in the past. But as time passes by, ideas and thoughts click differently, and some more clearly or from a different angle. 

 

I wonder a lot how maybe all the changes im going through have been overdue. But i think it all happened when, and as, it needed to happen for this growth to take place. Im getting into astrology, vegan life, a healthier lifestyle with more purpose despite WD and despite the bad days (although the bad days may seem as if Life lacks purpose). Purpose through suffering… brings Victor Frankl to mind. Ironic how I, generally, feel my life is more purposeful and substantial, and how I am fitting into myself more and more since the beginning of the last tapering journey starting this past April.

[DazzlingCold]

4 hours ago, Mdawg said:

Sorry about the advicey advice… I hate when people give me unsolicited advice especially now lol 🤦‍♀️

Lol I honestly don’t mind it. Sometimes I may not like what I hear but that’s ok. If anything, I see it as a perspective and then I choose what to do so no harm! Sometimes it helps me see clearly when waves don’t allow me too. Please give advicey advice lol. 

[DazzlingCold]

On 6/30/2022 at 10:28 AM, Mdawg said:

Yeah it sounds like you might want to hold for a while besides maybe limiting the supplements.  It sounds like your empathy is coming back in a flood!  It’s a beautiful thing but painful to care so much.  Animal products are high in histamine and inflammation anyway, so you would probably feel better without them.  I am personally still eating fish and eggs, but trying to slowly reduce those as well and get pasture raised eggs if at all.  Every living being feels pain, plants included… sometimes withdrawal can feel like you’re feeling the pain of all the living beings in the world!  Healing vibes 🌊🌴💜

Yesss!!! So it’s withdrawal?? I feel like WD comes in phases that open my eyes to things. My empathy has been overflowing. Interestingly, it’s only overflowing for animals, not humans lol. So happy we are cutting down on animal products and to hear that they help with histamine issues and inflammation. I sure can use that?

[DazzlingCold]

Just now, DazzlingCold said:

Yesss!!! So it’s withdrawal?? I feel like WD comes in phases that open my eyes to things. My empathy has been overflowing. Interestingly, it’s only overflowing for animals, not humans lol. So happy we are cutting down on animal products and to hear that they help with histamine issues and inflammation. I sure can use that?

Use that!*

[DazzlingCold]

On 6/30/2022 at 10:20 AM, Mdawg said:

💜 maybe gently phasing out some of the activating supplements and especially caffeine of any kind would help?  I feel you on those things.  I have also found cinnamon to be very activating/dysregulating personally 

I hope things even out soon.  Have you tried breathwork? It could maybe replace caffeine and also relax you as there are all kinds of breathwork for controlling autonomic nervous system.  You are healing 🌳

Im definitely doing away woth caffeine. Still keeping green tea the days I feel no activation. I feel like breath work work very little helps when I feel so bad. Do you feel that way too? The only thing that kind of soothes me is self compassion and even that seems hard. In days that I feel less bad, breath work does help a lot more. 
didnt know about cinnamon. Thanks for sharing. I’ll be more mindful on how it affects me. Thank you

[DazzlingCold]

On 6/30/2022 at 1:10 AM, Ariel said:

Hi @DazzlingCold

Sending you a hug ❤️

I'm sorry it's rough. 

 

Good to hear you plan to taper off coffee. Eliminating caffeine can help significantly. That includes green tea, by the way. 

You probably already know that B12 can be activating? 

Also, some people find probiotics and fish oil activating, too. 

 

I have not read all of your daily reports so am not familiar with your process around these, just mentioning it. On my own journey I have had high hopes and the best intentions with various supplements and have learned the hard way I'm best off sticking with magnesium only. 

 

Hang in there, Dazz, you're doing a really good job ❤️

Thank you for the support. I don’t know why I restarted caffeine and vit b lol. I had done away with those but then restarted them in hopes to help woth cognitive issues. Lol but yes, i stopped vit b 2 days ago and tapering off coffee and already feeling a lot better.

im grateful for this information which i have learned through everyone in this site. Before, I wouldve though I needed to increase my AD and not remove a vitamin. 
i want to monitor how probiotics and fish oil affect me. May I ask how you found out these were activating for you? 

[DazzlingCold]

Date  July 1, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

6:30am woke up

 

7:00am breakfast, 1/4cup coffee, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work

 

11am struggling a lot cognitively

 

12:00pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, low self esteem, negative, stuck feeling when it came to setting boundaries and feeling empowered, low energy

 

5:00pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

9:45pm had a hot flash with a sensation of blood rush preceding elevated mood (more in this below)

 

10:0pm  mag glycinate 400mg, probiotics 15billion, lactium 336mg,

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 20- luteal phase

 

Elevated mood I felt was in a way that my thoughts are raising but with low negative anxiety-brain just going and going, feel chattier, able to think a lot but not necessarily clearly all the time during mood, having some insights (making connections of ideas) that I often don’t outside of this mood, feels uncomfortable and as if my brain was trying too hard to feel too happy and in trance instead of being at peace. Started to bring love and compassion to this experience. Breath work, relaxing music, compassionate and calming thoughts help as I try to calm down for bed time. Feeling strongly still but tearing up, relieving, sad and happy tears. Quite a roller coaster. 

[Ariel]

On 7/2/2022 at 3:25 AM, DazzlingCold said:

Thank you for the support. I don’t know why I restarted caffeine and vit b lol. I had done away with those but then restarted them in hopes to help woth cognitive issues. Lol but yes, i stopped vit b 2 days ago and tapering off coffee and already feeling a lot better.

im grateful for this information which i have learned through everyone in this site. Before, I wouldve though I needed to increase my AD and not remove a vitamin. 
i want to monitor how probiotics and fish oil affect me. May I ask how you found out these were activating for you? 

 

Hi @DazzlingCold

I'm glad you're getting some relief from tapering off of caffeine and Vitamin B. 

 

The way I figured out that probiotics affect me is trial and error, and sort of by accident. At some point I stopped taking them (don't remember whether maybe I forgot or ran out or something) and noticed I was feeling a bit better. When I took the probiotics again I noticed some increased agitation. It can be hard to know for sure because WD makes everything so wonky, but when I removed the probiotics a second time things seemed calmer so I just went with that. 

 

As for fish oil, I'm not entirely certain it's activating for me but I also don't know that it was helping. At some point I ran out and things felt a bit easier, which could be a coincidence, but again, I decided to just not restock. 

 

Powdered magnesium is my one go-to WD supplement. Doesn't cause me trouble. 

 

Sending you a hug <3

[DazzlingCold]

53 minutes ago, Ariel said:

 

Hi @DazzlingCold

I'm glad you're getting some relief from tapering off of caffeine and Vitamin B. 

 

The way I figured out that probiotics affect me is trial and error, and sort of by accident. At some point I stopped taking them (don't remember whether maybe I forgot or ran out or something) and noticed I was feeling a bit better. When I took the probiotics again I noticed some increased agitation. It can be hard to know for sure because WD makes everything so wonky, but when I removed the probiotics a second time things seemed calmer so I just went with that. 

 

As for fish oil, I'm not entirely certain it's activating for me but I also don't know that it was helping. At some point I ran out and things felt a bit easier, which could be a coincidence, but again, I decided to just not restock. 

 

Powdered magnesium is my one go-to WD supplement. Doesn't cause me trouble. 

 

Sending you a hug ❤️

Thank you

[Elio]

4 hours ago, Ariel said:

 

Hi @DazzlingCold

I'm glad you're getting some relief from tapering off of caffeine and Vitamin B. 

 

The way I figured out that probiotics affect me is trial and error, and sort of by accident. At some point I stopped taking them (don't remember whether maybe I forgot or ran out or something) and noticed I was feeling a bit better. When I took the probiotics again I noticed some increased agitation. It can be hard to know for sure because WD makes everything so wonky, but when I removed the probiotics a second time things seemed calmer so I just went with that. 

 

As for fish oil, I'm not entirely certain it's activating for me but I also don't know that it was helping. At some point I ran out and things felt a bit easier, which could be a coincidence, but again, I decided to just not restock. 

 

Powdered magnesium is my one go-to WD supplement. Doesn't cause me trouble. 

 

Sending you a hug ❤️

Make I ask which magnesium you were using please? Thank you

[DazzlingCold]

Date  July 6, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

7:00am woke up

 

7:30am breakfast, 1/4cup coffee w/turmeric & cinnamon, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

8:30am work

 

12:30pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg

 

1pm crying spells, pms mood swings increasing

 

4pm workout

 

5:30pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

6pm painting 

 

10:00pm  mag glycinate 300mg, probiotics 15billion, lactium 336mg

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 25- luteal phase PMSing getting stronger

[DazzlingCold]

Date  July 8, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

7:00am woke up tired

 

7:30am breakfast, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

8:30am work, tired, green tea w/turmeric & cinnamon

 

12:30pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil

 

2:30 painting 

 

3:30pm brain tired, fatigue, nap

 

6pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

10:00pm  bed, mag glycinate 300mg, probiotics 15billion, lactium 336mg

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 26- luteal phase PMSing getting stronger

 

PMS struggle is real… being really critical and hard on myself, mood swings

[DazzlingCold]

Date  July 11, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

6:30am woke up tired

 

7:00am breakfast, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work, tired, green tea w/turmeric & cinnamon

 

8:30am want to cry, negative, depressed 

 

12:30pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, 1/5 of vit & mineral

 

 1:30pm feeling better

 

4pm errands

 

7pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil

 

10:00pm  bed, probiotics 15billion, melatonin .38mg

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 2- follicular phase PMS symptoms cleared after lunch. PMDD lasted 2-3 days before period with extreme fatigue

 

Rough weekend… did very little… prep a little for the week, paint, TV series, slept a lot. I was so desperate (PMDD) Saturday and Sunday. I hear it inly gets worse as women get closer to menopause. How?? I already feel like im suffocating in all consuming emotions, ruminations, intrusive thoughts, self criticism, crying spells, anxiety, etc…

 

Starting to implement vegan foods, more veggies and nuts in diet to make a smooth transition as I will no longer consume animal products except the ones I already have. Once those are gone, I plan on replacing them with vegan and cruelty free options, even personal, beauty and hygiene products. It’s been interesting learning all about veganism… and much more to learn

 

I have a leather jacket I got for a great price back in October 2021 which I love eventhough it breaks my heart to have participated in animal cruelty. I feel conflicted about keeping it hehe. I’d be the only vegan-to-be walking around with a leather jacket lol. I feel so very conflicted about this small, but big, thing. 

[Mdawg]

1 hour ago, DazzlingCold said:

Date  July 11, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

6:30am woke up tired

 

7:00am breakfast, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work, tired, green tea w/turmeric & cinnamon

 

8:30am want to cry, negative, depressed 

 

12:30pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, 1/5 of vit & mineral

 

 1:30pm feeling better

 

4pm errands

 

7pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil

 

10:00pm  bed, probiotics 15billion, melatonin .38mg

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 2- follicular phase PMS symptoms cleared after lunch. PMDD lasted 2-3 days before period with extreme fatigue

 

Rough weekend… did very little… prep a little for the week, paint, TV series, slept a lot. I was so desperate (PMDD) Saturday and Sunday. I hear it inly gets worse as women get closer to menopause. How?? I already feel like im suffocating in all consuming emotions, ruminations, intrusive thoughts, self criticism, crying spells, anxiety, etc…

 

Starting to implement vegan foods, more veggies and nuts in diet to make a smooth transition as I will no longer consume animal products except the ones I already have. Once those are gone, I plan on replacing them with vegan and cruelty free options, even personal, beauty and hygiene products. It’s been interesting learning all about veganism… and much more to learn

 

I have a leather jacket I got for a great price back in October 2021 which I love eventhough it breaks my heart to have participated in animal cruelty. I feel conflicted about keeping it hehe. I’d be the only vegan-to-be walking around with a leather jacket lol. I feel so very conflicted about this small, but big, thing. 

You could always sell the jacket and use the money to buy those expensive vegan products 😂

[DazzlingCold]

Date  July 11, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

6:30am woke up VERY tired 

 

8:00am breakfast, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

9:00am work, tired, green tea w/turmeric & cinnamon, moody

 

12:30pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, very tired

 

4pm errands

 

6pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil

 

10:00pm  bed, probiotics 15billion, mag glycinate 200mg, melatonin .38mg

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 4- follicular phase

[DazzlingCold]

Date  July 13, 2022

 

Slept 8 hours last night

 

6:30am woke up VERY tired 

 

7:00am breakfast, lexapro 6.8mg, Wellbutrin 37mg, nigella oil, zyrtec 10mg, singular 10mg

 

7:30am work, tired, green tea w/turmeric & cinnamon

 

12:30pm lunch, wellbutrin 37mg, very tired, i could sleep

 

4pm errands, very tired

 

6pm dinner, wellbutrin 37mg, fish oil 2600mg, nigella oil

 

9:30pm  bed, probiotics 15billion, mag glycinate 200mg, lactium 165mg

 

-Trace minerals with water all day

-Cycle day 4- follicular phase

 

Got physical results. All levels are good. I don’t know why I get episodes of debilitating fatigue outside of PMS. I can’t trace it back to food, allergies or anything. I haven’t felt like I’ve gotten a good night sleep most nights (sometimes I do), for maybe two months. Maybe that’s it, but I would get these episodes even when I did sleep well. Hmmm

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/5/2022 at 2:55 PM, Elio said:

Make I ask which magnesium you were using please? Thank you

Sure, Magnesium Glycinate 400 2 Daily from KAL.

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/11/2022 at 11:57 PM, Mdawg said:

You could always sell the jacket and use the money to buy those expensive vegan products 😂

True, True!!! 😂 I love that jacket! Hehe

[DazzlingCold]

I’ve been feeling SO tired for at least 1-2 weeks. Hygiene has gone down again 😂. Find it hard to do essential things but I get most done. I have been feeling social anxiety, apprehension, depression (not sadness but the depression indifference-lack of joy, fatigue, lack of restful sleep, lethargy, heaviness, mood swings). Also, I have been catching myself getting concerned with tiny things again and feeling inpatient with myself, overwhelmed with smaller things. I try to be kind to myself to stop the wanting to rush and get things perfect. Has anyone noticed that when you feel highly disregulated, changing your state of mind is harder?

 

I did learn something that I will try applying more when I experience all-consuming feelings. I was meditating this morning (or trying to) and when I focused my attention on my body to see what sensations I felt, I felt more regulated. Grounding gained a new meaning for me today. It lasted a minute but that’s ok. It’s still relief and practice to get out of my amygdala and into my frontal lobe in hopes to increase synapses in the right place in the long run.

 

Like this neuropsychologist says…”Trauma affects the brain but so does healing”. I find this soothing.

 

Finally, I’ve noticed i write and read and interact more here when Im feeling better. When Im feeling my worse, I avoid some things due to aprehension/possible triggers.

Hugs to everyone 

[DazzlingCold]

Date: July 14, 2022

 

6:30am wake up, exhausted, depressed 

 

7am breakfast, green tea with spices, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, lexapro 6.8mg, zyrtec 10mg, montelukast 10mg

 

9am work, some energy 

 

12:30pm lunch, Wellbutrin 37mg, 1/5 dose of prenatals

 

4pm very tired, tense

 

5:30pm dinner, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil

 

9:30pm probiotics 10million, mag glycinate 300mg, lactium 167mg, melatonin 0.38mg,  crying-released some tension

 

Rough day

 

Realized my groceries have been a tad cheaper this past 2-3 weeks (considering all food prices have gone up) since I started buying only vegan things, and shrimp. 

 

Been waking up feeling my sinuses swollen and just general swelling and some tiny joint stiffness for the past month or so- around 1-2 weeks after 2nd AD reduction. Wondering if it’s a WD symptom for others.

 

So i dont want to stop taking zyrtec without having completely tapered off AD, but there’s a few days out of the year were the allergens that affect me are not out there but i got used to taking antihistamines everyday as told by a Doctor. I don’t trust them and would like to know if skipping zyrtec at times may affect WD since antihistamines are precursors to AD?

[DazzlingCold]

Date: July 18, 2022

 

6:30am wake up, exhausted, depressed 

 

7am breakfast, green tea with spices, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, lexapro 6.8mg, zyrtec 10mg, montelukast 10mg

 

7:30am work, some energy, holding in crying spells

 

12:30pm lunch, Wellbutrin 37mg, 1/5 dose of prenatals, holding in crying spells

 

4:30pm tense, workout

 

6:00pm dinner, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, tense, want to cry

 

9:30pm probiotics 15million, mag glycinate 300mg, lactium 167mg, melatonin 1.5mg,  l theanine 200mg, tense

 

Rough day

It’s like my mind wants to keep on thinking about sad things. Obsessive intrusive thoughts about animal abuse , my past wrong doings to others, my family’s pain. Breathing only works for seconds and working out helped for about an hour. I have to keep trying to regulate every minute. The wave is real.

 

There comes a point were I feel so bad that it feels better to just let it be eventhough it still hurts like hell. Last reduction felt bad for a week but I felt it more cognitively and physically. This reduction on 6/8/22 on has felt like real depression, super high anxiety. Ive been waking up not feeling rested for about 6 weeks now and it doesn’t help. Finally cracked and took l Theanine two nights ago. Im experiencing fear at night and almost crippling anxiety during the day. My muscles ache from so much tension, specially my neck and back. It’s a battle trying to come back to the present and achieve a more regulated state of mind. 

Hope that this will pass keeps me going. Keeping everyone in my prayers. 

[Ariel]

Hi @DazzlingCold

Stopping by to see how you're doing. 

It sounds like you are having a rough go of it, with numerous heavy WD symptoms. 

I'm sorry things are so hard right now. 

 

On 7/15/2022 at 5:01 AM, DazzlingCold said:

So i dont want to stop taking zyrtec without having completely tapered off AD, but there’s a few days out of the year were the allergens that affect me are not out there but i got used to taking antihistamines everyday as told by a Doctor. I don’t trust them and would like to know if skipping zyrtec at times may affect WD since antihistamines are precursors to AD?

 

Have you received a response to your question? Doesn't look like it in your thread, but maybe someone has replied by PM or elsewhere on site, so I can't tell. If you're looking for input from a moderator, I'd suggest you tag a mod when you post your question, e.g. Altostrata or Onmyway, who have previously commented on your thread. ChessieCat has also commented on your thread, you might address her by name to ask, though she requests not to be tagged, FYI. I hope you get an answer if you haven't already. 

 

Also, remember that you are welcome to ask for help/input at any time. If you're finding symptoms to be unbearable or if it becomes too hard to function, feel free to inquire as to possibilities for how to maybe make things more manageable. There might not be any obvious solutions but if we don't ask we won't know. The mods are experienced and knowledgable and generous in sharing their perspective and expertise. They may be able to point out possibilities that would never occur to us.  

 

2 hours ago, DazzlingCold said:

Rough day

It’s like my mind wants to keep on thinking about sad things. Obsessive intrusive thoughts about animal abuse , my past wrong doings to others, my family’s pain. Breathing only works for seconds and working out helped for about an hour. I have to keep trying to regulate every minute. The wave is real.

 

I'm so sorry, Dazz. What you describe sounds like classic WD.

 

I am wondering about "I have to keep trying to regulate every minute". I think I know what you mean (though I can't be sure), and at the same time this sounds exhausting. Intense WD symptoms are often impossible for us to regulate our way out of; due to their chemical, physiological nature they don't respond normally to CBT and other management techniques. This is not standard anxiety, these are neuro-emotions and hardcore thought symptoms. I'm not saying that to discourage you, but rather as a means of inquiring: how's the regulating going for you? I don't know what you mean by "regulate". Whatever it is you're doing, does it help?

 

If you ever find that your "regulatory" techniques aren't yielding the results you'd like, please know that it's not your fault. You're not failing at regulating; it's just that this is WD, and the rules are different. Sometimes the best/only way to go is with non-drug coping tactics such as distract; acknowledge-accept-float (AAF); sensory confusion such as cold water; etc. I trust you know what you're doing, and you are the expert on your lived embodied experience. Holding space for that. Just empathizing with the monumental effort required to keep it together when overwhelmed with rampant WD symptoms, and you are working every day and (looks like) functioning at a high level all things considered. Give yourself lots of credit for how you are navigating this challenge and how hard you're working. 

 

I wonder whether you might inquire further into, what are the gentlest ways through the day. Perhaps you are already doing this, I see how proactive and constructive you are. Wherever you can cut down on stressors, that could be helpful. It looks like you're sleeping at night, which is very positive. You are making a lot of valuable observations and learning at a rapid pace. Is there any way to incorporate more rest breaks into your day, if you think that might be helpful? You write below about grounding. Are you able to take grounding pauses at work? even if only 5-7 minutes at a time. 

 

On 7/14/2022 at 5:14 AM, DazzlingCold said:

I’ve been feeling SO tired for at least 1-2 weeks. Hygiene has gone down again 😂. Find it hard to do essential things but I get most done. I have been feeling social anxiety, apprehension, depression (not sadness but the depression indifference-lack of joy, fatigue, lack of restful sleep, lethargy, heaviness, mood swings). Also, I have been catching myself getting concerned with tiny things again and feeling inpatient with myself, overwhelmed with smaller things. I try to be kind to myself to stop the wanting to rush and get things perfect. Has anyone noticed that when you feel highly disregulated, changing your state of mind is harder?

 

I did learn something that I will try applying more when I experience all-consuming feelings. I was meditating this morning (or trying to) and when I focused my attention on my body to see what sensations I felt, I felt more regulated. Grounding gained a new meaning for me today. It lasted a minute but that’s ok. It’s still relief and practice to get out of my amygdala and into my frontal lobe in hopes to increase synapses in the right place in the long run.

 

Like this neuropsychologist says…”Trauma affects the brain but so does healing”. I find this soothing.

 

Finally, I’ve noticed i write and read and interact more here when Im feeling better. When Im feeling my worse, I avoid some things due to aprehension/possible triggers.

Hugs to everyone 

 

2 hours ago, DazzlingCold said:

There comes a point were I feel so bad that it feels better to just let it be eventhough it still hurts like hell. Last reduction felt bad for a week but I felt it more cognitively and physically. This reduction on 6/8/22 on has felt like real depression, super high anxiety. Ive been waking up not feeling rested for about 6 weeks now and it doesn’t help. Finally cracked and took l Theanine two nights ago. Im experiencing fear at night and almost crippling anxiety during the day. My muscles ache from so much tension, specially my neck and back. It’s a battle trying to come back to the present and achieve a more regulated state of mind. 

Hope that this will pass keeps me going. Keeping everyone in my prayers. 

 

Oh Dazz. It really sounds like you are in full-blown WD.  

I am glad to read in your drug signature that you're holding. A good, long hold sounds very wise. 

 

Lest you feel discouraged about the intensity of your current symptoms, remember that you have had a lot of drug changes since March at least. Also, before that at some point you made a reduction/fast taper/CT from 20 mg lexapro to 0, right? This is not in your drug sig but you mention it in one of your early posts, the second post here in your intro topic. When was that 20 -> 0 event? I'd suggest you include it in your drug sig, as it might be significant for how long you should hold and determining future tapering strategies. Every time we go on and off a drug we are potentially sensitizing our systems and risk kindling; in addition, the stress of various changes is cumulative. The effect of reductions can also add up and be cumulative, especially with a drug like lexapro. (Do you already know that lexapro is one of the most potent SSRIs, mg for mg? It's also notorious for delayed-onset WD symptoms.)

 

All this to say, it makes sense that you are getting slammed right now. Your brain has a lot going on, it's working hard to heal. 

The good news is that this is temporary, it will pass. It gets better. Healing is happening.

The difficult part, as you probably already know, is that it may take a while. Healing happens on its own timeline, often slower than we'd wish. It seems like you are already practicing patience and acceptance, which is awesome. 

 

DazzlingCold, you're doing an amazing job getting through the days. I see you paying attention, tuning in, listening to your body, learning, taking care of yourself. I see you pushing through to do what you have to do, working and getting things done. Tracking symptoms, keeping notes. Posting here and interacting with others and offering support, too. You are so very brave, I am in awe of your strength and tenacity. Give yourself lots of credit for all your hard work. 

 

Last but not least, I'm wondering about what sort of support system you have. I am getting the feeling that you're very much alone in all this. I don't know if that's true, or if it is true, to what extent it's voluntary. Do you have the social support you want/need? There's no right or wrong, just what you feel would be appropriate/desirable in your situation. WD is so hard to go through, as is, and it is in many ways a long, lonely road we each much walk alone. But I see from reading various threads on SA that some of us have more social support available to us than others; and I know from personal experience how difficult it can be when we crave connection and it's not readily available. Just wanted to check in with you on this and extend my care in regards to where you're at with this stuff, wherever that may be. 

 

Long post, Dazz, will wrap it up. 

Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well on your healing journey. 

Healing is happening all the time, even when we don't consciously feel it. 

Sending hugs and healing vibes <3

A.

 

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/19/2022 at 1:29 AM, Ariel said:

Hi @DazzlingCold

Stopping by to see how you're doing. 

It sounds like you are having a rough go of it, with numerous heavy WD symptoms. 

I'm sorry things are so hard right now. 

 

 

Have you received a response to your question? Doesn't look like it in your thread, but maybe someone has replied by PM or elsewhere on site, so I can't tell. If you're looking for input from a moderator, I'd suggest you tag a mod when you post your question, e.g. Altostrata or Onmyway, who have previously commented on your thread. ChessieCat has also commented on your thread, you might address her by name to ask, though she requests not to be tagged, FYI. I hope you get an answer if you haven't already. 

 

Also, remember that you are welcome to ask for help/input at any time. If you're finding symptoms to be unbearable or if it becomes too hard to function, feel free to inquire as to possibilities for how to maybe make things more manageable. There might not be any obvious solutions but if we don't ask we won't know. The mods are experienced and knowledgable and generous in sharing their perspective and expertise. They may be able to point out possibilities that would never occur to us.  

 

 

I'm so sorry, Dazz. What you describe sounds like classic WD.

 

I am wondering about "I have to keep trying to regulate every minute". I think I know what you mean (though I can't be sure), and at the same time this sounds exhausting. Intense WD symptoms are often impossible for us to regulate our way out of; due to their chemical, physiological nature they don't respond normally to CBT and other management techniques. This is not standard anxiety, these are neuro-emotions and hardcore thought symptoms. I'm not saying that to discourage you, but rather as a means of inquiring: how's the regulating going for you? I don't know what you mean by "regulate". Whatever it is you're doing, does it help?

 

If you ever find that your "regulatory" techniques aren't yielding the results you'd like, please know that it's not your fault. You're not failing at regulating; it's just that this is WD, and the rules are different. Sometimes the best/only way to go is with non-drug coping tactics such as distract; acknowledge-accept-float (AAF); sensory confusion such as cold water; etc. I trust you know what you're doing, and you are the expert on your lived embodied experience. Holding space for that. Just empathizing with the monumental effort required to keep it together when overwhelmed with rampant WD symptoms, and you are working every day and (looks like) functioning at a high level all things considered. Give yourself lots of credit for how you are navigating this challenge and how hard you're working. 

 

I wonder whether you might inquire further into, what are the gentlest ways through the day. Perhaps you are already doing this, I see how proactive and constructive you are. Wherever you can cut down on stressors, that could be helpful. It looks like you're sleeping at night, which is very positive. You are making a lot of valuable observations and learning at a rapid pace. Is there any way to incorporate more rest breaks into your day, if you think that might be helpful? You write below about grounding. Are you able to take grounding pauses at work? even if only 5-7 minutes at a time. 

 

 

 

Oh Dazz. It really sounds like you are in full-blown WD.  

I am glad to read in your drug signature that you're holding. A good, long hold sounds very wise. 

 

Lest you feel discouraged about the intensity of your current symptoms, remember that you have had a lot of drug changes since March at least. Also, before that at some point you made a reduction/fast taper/CT from 20 mg lexapro to 0, right? This is not in your drug sig but you mention it in one of your early posts, the second post here in your intro topic. When was that 20 -> 0 event? I'd suggest you include it in your drug sig, as it might be significant for how long you should hold and determining future tapering strategies. Every time we go on and off a drug we are potentially sensitizing our systems and risk kindling; in addition, the stress of various changes is cumulative. The effect of reductions can also add up and be cumulative, especially with a drug like lexapro. (Do you already know that lexapro is one of the most potent SSRIs, mg for mg? It's also notorious for delayed-onset WD symptoms.)

 

All this to say, it makes sense that you are getting slammed right now. Your brain has a lot going on, it's working hard to heal. 

The good news is that this is temporary, it will pass. It gets better. Healing is happening.

The difficult part, as you probably already know, is that it may take a while. Healing happens on its own timeline, often slower than we'd wish. It seems like you are already practicing patience and acceptance, which is awesome. 

 

DazzlingCold, you're doing an amazing job getting through the days. I see you paying attention, tuning in, listening to your body, learning, taking care of yourself. I see you pushing through to do what you have to do, working and getting things done. Tracking symptoms, keeping notes. Posting here and interacting with others and offering support, too. You are so very brave, I am in awe of your strength and tenacity. Give yourself lots of credit for all your hard work. 

 

Last but not least, I'm wondering about what sort of support system you have. I am getting the feeling that you're very much alone in all this. I don't know if that's true, or if it is true, to what extent it's voluntary. Do you have the social support you want/need? There's no right or wrong, just what you feel would be appropriate/desirable in your situation. WD is so hard to go through, as is, and it is in many ways a long, lonely road we each much walk alone. But I see from reading various threads on SA that some of us have more social support available to us than others; and I know from personal experience how difficult it can be when we crave connection and it's not readily available. Just wanted to check in with you on this and extend my care in regards to where you're at with this stuff, wherever that may be. 

 

Long post, Dazz, will wrap it up. 

Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well on your healing journey. 

Healing is happening all the time, even when we don't consciously feel it. 

Sending hugs and healing vibes ❤️

A.

 

@Ariel, your support and words are priceless. Your words in WD actually felt very soothing. I was getting frustrated about bot being able to regulate. But your words are true. It’s physiological and I want to listen to my body more. Part of me knew sometimes it’s not possible but I hear “try, try, try” so much, sometimes just my self talk, that it ends up adding stress. You reminded me to be gentle and self compassion which are the inly tools that work for me in such bad times. 
i had read about Lexapro, protracted WD and all that. Im definitely holding for a bit and even considering doing a micro taper when I’m ready to continue.

i didn’t go down from 20mg to 0, but I have done very big reductions in the past decades so I am accepting this may take longer but focusing on quality of life in the present as a priority. 
i havent talked to anyone outside of you and the peeps at the “drugged as child” thread. I have friends that I can share what I go through but don’t understand lol because they haven’t been on meds or WD. My parents and sister are supportive and my sisters dog is too

in regards to tapering allergy meds, ive decided to wait and not make any changes after all. With WD, feeling sinus pressure and inflammation every day for the past month, I wonder if its part of WD and don’t want to mess with that at this point. I will tag mods for questions though, not ChessieCat, pero her request.
I rested so well yesterday, it helps so much. It feels good. I’ve cut coffee and green tea for now. Im sipping on relaxing teas through the day. Your reminder that it is WD and it has to flow was a big relief. Im learning so much as I go. 
you are always so kind checking in us, helping and i teracting. I appreciate you. I hope you are doing well. Hugs to you. 

[DazzlingCold]

Date: July 19, 2022

 

slept 6 hours last night

 

6:30am wake up a little rested

 

7am, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, lexapro 6.8mg, zyrtec 10mg, montelukast 10mg

 

7:30am work, lots of sinus pressure, headache

 

12:30pm lunch, Wellbutrin 37mg, 1/3 dose of prenatals, tired

 

5:00pm dinner, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, tired

 

9:30pm bed, probiotics 15million, mag glycinate 300mg, lactium 167mg, melatonin 1.5mg, CBD

 

Rough day

Struggling with focus and memory. Have to redirect my mind constantly and re check my work as I am making a lot of careless mistakes. Been drinking relaxing tea throughout day as anxiety is very high.

[Ariel]

@DazzlingCold

I'm glad to hear you are resting and taking gentle care of yourself <3

 

1 hour ago, DazzlingCold said:

part of me knew sometimes it’s not possible but I hear “try, try, try” so much, sometimes just my self talk, that it ends up adding stress.

 

The pressure we put on ourselves, the critical self-talk and "try, try, try" can be seen as WD symptoms in and of themselves.

Sometimes it helps me to remember that (when I do remember). 

 

1 hour ago, DazzlingCold said:

i didn’t go down from 20mg to 0

 

The reason I thought that is because of your second post here in your intro topic: 

 

On 4/18/2022 at 12:51 AM, DazzlingCold said:

 

Hello, i have weaned of Lexapro 20mg and Wellbutrin XL 300mg before within 5 months and a month after no meds, I felt like I didn’t want to live. I have been reading a lot about super slow tapers and I’m wondering if maybe I felt that way because my taper needs to be slower?

when i started feeling like i don’t  want to live I restarted wellbutrin 150mg XL and had so much anxiety that I started Lexapro and got to 10mg. Its now week 2 of 5mg and I have felt

It but it has been manageable. 

 

 

That's what I was referring to, just FYI. 

To me this reads like a fast taper from 20 -> 0 within 5 months, which is why I thought it could be helpful to include in your drug sig.

 

1 hour ago, DazzlingCold said:

I have friends that I can share what I go through but don’t understand lol because they haven’t been on meds or WD. My parents and sister are supportive and my sisters dog is too

 

I'm relieved to hear this. Especially about the dog ;-)

 

1 hour ago, DazzlingCold said:

I am accepting this may take longer but focusing on quality of life in the present as a priority. 

 

Sounds wise, Dazz <3

You got this. 

Sending hugs and healing vibes <3

 

[DazzlingCold]

 Slept 7.5 hours last night

 

Date: July 20, 2022

 

6:30am woke up , slept good (had CBD before bed as I was desperate for restful sleep after several weeks

of waking up feeling fatigued and unrested) 

 

7am, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, lexapro 6.8mg, zyrtec 10mg, montelukast 10mg

 

7:30am work, lots of sinus pressure, headache but feeling more peace

 

12:30pm lunch, Wellbutrin 37mg, 1/5 dose of prenatals

 

5:00pm dinner, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, lots of sinus pressure, little bit of a bigger window 

 

9:30pm bed, probiotics 15million, mag glycinate 300mg, lactium 167mg, melatonin .38mg

 

Cycle day 11 folicular phase-ovulation 

 

Better day overall despite some mood wings- had to be ovulation time. Interesting how i notice my cyclical mood changes much more since I’ve been paying close attention to my cycle in general 

Struggled with focus, felt frustrated, redirected myself to kindness and slowness.

Have not had elevated mood episodes in at least 4 weeks. Trying to see if/where in my cycle they happen more often. 

I don’t want to imagine going through menopause during WD, but i got several years (hopefully) before it happens. How do women do it?

[Ariel]

4 hours ago, DazzlingCold said:

I don’t want to imagine going through menopause during WD, but i got several years (hopefully) before it happens.

 

Oh I know, right? I have had versions of this same thought many times! That I don't want to deal with perimenopause in WD, and I also don't want to have WD so long that right when it's ending, guess what, I land right in the throes of perimenopause ... 

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it, so I don't think about it (the thoughts come and go, I don't dwell on them). 

I feel relieved to hear that you have had similar thoughts, though, it's quite comforting to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing! 

 

5 hours ago, DazzlingCold said:

I’ve been paying close attention to my cycle in general 

 

Btw do you know the menstrual cycle tracker app Clue? 

I use that one, it's the best. 

[DazzlingCold]

Slept 5 hours last night

 

Date: July 22, 2022

 

6:30am woke up

 

7am, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg, lexapro 6.8mg, zyrtec 10mg, montelukast 10mg

 

7:30am work

 

12:30pm lunch, Wellbutrin 37mg, 1/5 dose of prenatals, lots of leg and hip

pain

 

4:30pm work out

 

5:00pm dinner, fish oil 1300mg, nigella oil, wellbutrin 37mg

 

9:30pm bed, probiotics 15million, mag glycinate 300mg, lactium 167mg, melatonin .38mg

 

Cycle day 11 folicular phase-ovulation 

 

Better day mentally but leg and hip pain is real! Modified workout due to pain. Maybe its sciatica but feel worse and different. But the pain travels within the same path. It gets really bad. Got me wondering if others tapering have musco-skeletal 

[DazzlingCold]

On 7/20/2022 at 1:14 PM, Ariel said:

That's what I was referring to, just FYI. 

To me this reads like a fast taper from 20 -> 0 within 5 months, which is why I thought it could be helpful to include in your drug sig.

Oh, i get you now. Then, yes. That was a fast taper to 0. Ive done tapers like that in the last decades, not knowing what I know now of course. More of a reason to be careful and go slow now. I will add to signature. Thanks for the feedback