Ninabird: Effexor withdrawal?

[Ninabird]

Hi Everyone,

I am just going to jump right into this.

I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance.

 

I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal.  I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess.

 

I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc

 

I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. 

 

For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. 

 

Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you. 

 

 

Edited May 5, 2022 by manymoretodays
retititled topic after mismerging

[Ninabird]

Just now, Ninabird said:

Hi Everyone,

I am just going to jump right into this.

I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance.

 

I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal.  I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess.

 

I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc

 

I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. 

 

For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. 

 

Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you. 

 

 

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14

[Ninabird]

Hi Mods,

 

I submitted an introductory letter a few days ago and haven't had a response. I am wondering if getting an answer takes time or if I missed a step in the submission? 

[manymoretodays]

Yes, it can take 1-3 days Ninabird.  Thanks for your patience.

Meantime see how you do with doing a signature:

How to Summarize Your Drug History in Your Signature

(this ^ will then appear below your posts and is different from the information you gave at registration)

[Ninabird]

Signature

 

Hi

i think I did it correctly? It still says “save,” after I depress the save button. 

Edited May 5, 2022 by ChessieCat
added Intro topic title before merging with intro topic

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  It sounds like your doctors had you on quite the carousel of psychiatric medications.  There is hope however, as long as you take good care of yourself, and work patiently and slowly to get yourself off of this drug carousel.  So you are currently on Lexapro 10 mg and Cymbalta 20mg?  What you are going through is absolutely typical for so many drug changes.  You are quite fortunate that you are sleeping well - many of us get severe harsh insomnia during withdrawal from psych meds.  

 

Is your end goal to get off of the psychiatric meds?  

 

Could you possibly give us more specific information about your recent drug history, especially for the past 18-24 months?  It would be especially helpful to have the details of your drugs in a concise vertical list (no symptoms), only drug names, specific dates (as best you can say for example early March if you don't recall the day) and dosages of each medication decrease or increase.  Use this format:

 

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Drug name: date, dose, date, dose, date, dose…

Etcetera

 

Please read the link below for instructions.  This will allow us to give you the best guidance.  

 

How to List Drug History in Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing drugs and doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we generally taper by 10% of the current dose no more than once every 4 weeks, so that the reduction becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

It sounds to me as though your nervous system is destabilized from the many frequent drug changes and fast tapering in the past.  It takes a long time for the nervous system to adjust to changes in psych meds, because the drugs actually make changes to your brain.  As you taper off the drug, the brain has to change to it's predrug state, and this is a very slow, time consuming process.  That is why we suggest the slow exponential taper here.  

 

You may want to keep a daily journal to try and assess if you are also having any adverse reactions to your drugs.   If you feel worse in the 5 or 6 hours after you take your drug, this is probably an adverse reaction.  Here is an example.

 

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am stomach is upset

10:30 am ate breakfast

11:35 am got a headache, lasted one hour

12:35 ate lunch

4 pm feel a bit better

5 pm took 2.5 mg lexapro

6 pm ate dinner

9:20 pm headache 

10:00 pm took 50 mg Seroquel

10:30 pm feeling dizzy

10:30 pm fell asleep 

2:30 am woke, took 3 mg Ambien

2:45 am fell asleep

4:30 am woke, but got back to sleep 

 

I know I've given you quite a bit of information.  Take your time to go through it, and let us know if you have any questions.  My suggestion for now, is just to stay on your current drug regimen, and don't make any changes just yet.  Your system needs a break from drug changes.  Please let us know how you are doing. 

[getofflex]

Were you aware there is a major interaction between your drugs?  According to www.drugs.com, 

 

Interactions between your drugs

Major

escitalopram  DULoxetine

Applies to: Lexapro (escitalopram), Cymbalta (duloxetine)

Using escitalopram together with DULoxetine can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

[Ninabird]

Hi there! I did have the exact dates but I moved to a new house in February and I am not sure if I tossed my journal from the last year. I will look. I am so sorry. 

 

I had NO idea that Lexapro and Duoloxetine clash. I am with a new Psychiatric nurse practitioner and a GP who LISTEN and are very caring.I had very crummy insurance after my divorce and had the worst Dr's. I honestly felt that my life was in danger if I stuck with the Psychiatrist I had so I now pay out of pocket for my Nurse practitioner.  My NP is the one who has me holding until my WD calm down. I am almost 3 months into this holding pattern. If the two AD's are clashing, when should I start to taper the last 10mg of Lexapro? 

 

I wake up in the morning with morning anxiety (pretty sure it's from me needing to take my dose of Klonopin. I also take Estradiol .50mg with my Lexapro and Duoloxetine. There are days where I feel ok until around 9am. My symptoms come and go. They have definitely eased up a bit. I have windows throughout the day. Over a week ago I had a nice 5 day window of feeling decent and then back into my wave. I still function everyday. I shower, walk my dogs, clean my house, I work ( I'm a Realtor) I make dinner every night. The last week has been a little more difficult. Yesterday I had anxiety (8) pretty much from noon until 6pm.That was the first time in a long time that the anxiety was that high. I have been having persistent symptoms like the burning in my head, the brain tingles, heat sensitivity, no appetite until the eve, lack of motivation ( I really push myself to get things done) burning eyes, blurry vision, blood shot eyes, ringing in my ears, temper, sometimes I feel emotionally flat...etc I don't drink or do drugs. I don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy but do love sweets. 

 

This month is a heavy hearted one for my family. My nephew passed away 10 months ago. His birthday was today. My mom passed away a year and a half ago, her birthday is the 17th and Mothers Day is this weekend. Going through these losses and anniversaries are especially tough when your mind already feels like it's a hot mess. 

 

I have read so many articles on this site. I am in no way looking for a miracle cure. I am just looking for understanding about what I am going through and support from people who are going through or went through the same horrific thing. I am looking for hope, understanding and a soft place to land when I am in the dark.

 

Much love-

[Ninabird]

Today has been a mentally tough one. I always wake up because my body knows when my next dose of Klonopin is due (I pray to start tapering off of it at the end of the Summer once I taper off of Lexapro) 

 

6;30 Anxiety (5) took .25mg of Klonopin, .5mg Estradiol and 30mg Duoloxetine. 

7am Drank green smoothie. Feel pressure in my head

9:30 10mg Lexapro (I was out and had no idea so had to take it after the pharmacy opened.)

For the first time in the 10 months I have been taking Lexapro, they changed manufacturers.

10-3pm experiencing the same feelings in my head, burning, feeling mentally off, emotional, pressure on my chest.

Not hungry since my morning smoothie. I want to sleep but napping gives me anxiety when I wake.

Hoping to feel hungry by 6.

 

I called my PNP and shared w her that the Lexapro and Duoloxetine majorly interact w one another. She is aware but since I am having WD's from the direct taper from Effexor to Duoloxetine, she was waiting to taper until things calm down. We are almost approaching 3 months. Who is to say that the Lexapro is making my WD worse or causing problems in itself? Should I consider starting my liquid taper? She is ok w/ writing the script and reducing by 10% increments. She came into the picture AFTER the direct taper. She has been trying to put out the fires that the other Psychiatrists created. I just want to feel better. I know that starting another taper isn't going to be easy at all but just waiting is driving me bonkers. I am hoping that you all could give me some insight as to where to go from here. 

 

[getofflex]

On 5/5/2022 at 7:34 PM, Ninabird said:

My NP is the one who has me holding until my WD calm down. I am almost 3 months into this holding pattern. If the two AD's are clashing, when should I start to taper the last 10mg of Lexapro? 

 

You are very fortunate.  Your NP gave you good advice about holding until your system calms down.  

 

On 5/5/2022 at 7:34 PM, Ninabird said:

my dose of Klonopin. I also take Estradiol .50mg

Please add these to your drug sig - thank you.  You can give us approximate dates on your recent taper (last 12 months) of Lexapro.  

 

On 5/5/2022 at 7:34 PM, Ninabird said:

My symptoms come and go. They have definitely eased up a bit. I have windows throughout the day.

This is very good.  It means your system is healing, and indicative that your symptoms are more from withdrawal, than from the interaction between Lexapro and Cymbalta.  So there is no rush on your taper.  These links will help you to know when you are stable, and ready to resume tapering: 

 

Stability

 

WD Normal

 

On 5/5/2022 at 7:34 PM, Ninabird said:

This month is a heavy hearted one for my family. My nephew passed away 10 months ago. His birthday was today. My mom passed away a year and a half ago, her birthday is the 17th and Mothers Day is this weekend. Going through these losses and anniversaries are especially tough when your mind already feels like it's a hot mess. 

I'm very sorry for your losses.  I understand grieving and sadness - I've dealt with that, too, and am still dealing with it to some degree.  I experienced the loss of a dear friend, a very beloved pet, and empty nest syndrome all while in withdrawal, and all in the same month.  Please be aware that while our nervous system is a hot mess from psych med withdrawal, our emotions will tend to be exaggerated. 

 

Neuro Emotions

 

16 hours ago, Ninabird said:

6;30 Anxiety (5) took .25mg of Klonopin, .5mg Estradiol and 30mg Duoloxetine.

When did you increase your dose from 20 to 30 mg?  of duloxetine?  Your drug sig says 20 mg.

 

16 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I called my PNP and shared w her that the Lexapro and Duoloxetine majorly interact w one another.

 

From your one journal entry, it doesn't appear to me that you are experiencing this in any significant way.  It's good that you are taking them 3 hours apart.  I hope you take them at the same time each and every day, this helps with your stability.  

 

How are you sleeping at night?  

16 hours ago, Ninabird said:

Who is to say that the Lexapro is making my WD worse or causing problems in itself?

If you are having an adverse reaction to the Lexapro, your symptoms will be worse in the 5-6 hours following your dose of Lexapro.  That was partly why I asked you to do a daily journal.  Please continue to do so, so we can see any patterns. 

 

16 hours ago, Ninabird said:

Should I consider starting my liquid taper?

Are you currently on Lexapro tablet, or liquid?  If you are on the tablet, you could gradually switch over to the liquid.  The liquid is much easier to taper from - that is what I've been doing.  

 

Cross Over from Tablet to Liquid

[Ninabird]

Hi. 
I haven’t gotten a response from my last comment to getofflex. Am I replying correctly? 

[Ninabird]

I am currently on a tablet form of Lexapro. 
 

the last few days I’ve been feeling a lot worse. Higher anxiety. More feelings of feeling mentally off. Is this a sign that I’m getting worse? I still get small ( 20 minutes sometimes an hour) windows but the way I’ve been feeling this week is worrying me. 

[getofflex]

9 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

More feelings of feeling mentally off. Is this a sign that I’m getting worse?

No, its a sign your brain is healing.  Did you read the link I gave you in my initial post about windows and waves?  Also read this: 

 

Steps for Managing WD Symptoms

 

9 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

the way I’ve been feeling this week is worrying me. 

Yes, it is very normal and natural to be worried about our symptoms, and how we feel.  Many of us intentionally work on acceptance to reduce this worry.  See: 

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201207/radical-acceptance

Edited May 7, 2022 by getofflex

[Ninabird]

Yes, I’ve read everything. 
These new symptoms are scary. I’ll work on trying to accept them. 

[Ariel]

Hi @Ninabird

 

Welcome to SA. You've come to the right place! It is such a kind, supportive community and the mods are knowledgable and generous with their expertise. 

I'm so sorry for what has brought you here. Your history of being prescribed so many different psychiatric drugs changing so quickly in a short period of time sounds truly awful. 

 

My heart goes out to you for the loss you have suffered these past years. I cannot imagine what you are going through.  

 

It takes time to heal from iatrogenic harm, but it does happen. It does get better. You sound like a very strong person; you have already demonstrated impressive courage and fortitude in your ability to push through and "function" despite so much pain. Not least you have found your way here to ask for help, which is further proof you're on the right path. 

 

Know that you are not alone. We are in this together, holding space for each other in healing and hope.

A. 

 

[Ninabird]

@Ariel

Thank you so much for your kind response. 
 

my friends have asked me to stay off Facebook sites for WD and come here. They felt other sites were too doom and gloom. 
 

This has been the hardest year of my life and I’m not done yet. I still have to taper from 10mg if Lexapro then tackle my .50mg of Klonopin. I hate taking it but it has helped. 
 

I live alone. My son is 22 and in school. I push through every day because if I don’t, I’ll lose my job, income…. I HAVE to keep pushing. 
I do go to therapy twice a week and I meet w my PNP weekly. I have a good support system. My problem is that I keep my misery to myself a lot. 
 

The last week my symptoms have changed and I think that is what scares me the most. I was so used to the symptoms that persisted for over two months that when they all of a sudden changed I became convinced I was getting worse. Funny how your mind goes to dark places so quickly. 
 

I am determined to get through this because I know there is a light on the other side. I start my liquid Lexapro next week. I’ll stay on that for a while to get adjusted and hopefully my WD will calm down enough to start the Lex taper at some point. I’m in no hurry. I welcome a slow taper. 
 

God speed to everyone who is going through this. The strength it takes to get through a single hour at times is monumental. 
 

love to all. 

[Ninabird]

@getofflex

4am woke w anxiety

back asleep

6am woke w anxiety

6:30 took all meds. 
7 am green smoothie 

8am showered

9am at a home inspection for work

anxiety (3)

feeling weird in my head like a headache is brewing 

 

today has been a better morning than yesterday. It’s so weird how it flips. 

[getofflex]

Hello, we are unpaid volunteers, and cannot always respond immediately.   We will get back to you when we can.  Did you see my detailed response from 7 hours ago? 

 

Previous post moved to your intro topic to keep your history all in one place.  Please post questions and discussion about your situation in this one thread, to avoid confusion and duplication of efforts.  Thank you.  

Edited May 7, 2022 by getofflex

[getofflex]

3 hours ago, Ninabird said:

today has been a better morning than yesterday. It’s so weird how it flips

I'm glad that this morning was better.  It sounds like you may be having a lot of anxiety about withdrawal. This is common and natural. Please be assured that you will get better, and this is normal for psych med withdrawal.  Here is some information to help with this anxiety.  This first link is especially helpful and important.  

 

Steps for Managing WD Symptoms

 

What is Happening in Your Brain? 

 

Acknowledge Accept Float

 

Music to Calm Anxiety

 

Breathing Technique for Anxiety

 

Meditation

[Ninabird]

I am sorry for all of the questions. I just want to make sure that I am responding correctly. I truly appreciate everyone who takes the time out of their day to answer my questions. 

 

I did correct the dosage of the Duoloxetine. I was put on 30mg in Febr 22. I am sorry but this last year has been such a blur. I forgot to mention that I had back surgery in August of 21 after falling off of a rock while fishing in June 21. So, it's been a fun 12 months. NO pain meds were used other than the day I came home from the hospital. I did not want another med in my system. To be truthful the pain prior to my surgery was worse pre-op. 

 

I have had a nice window today from 11am- current (it's 6pm CST) I still feel WD but not intensely as I have been. So so thankful for a break.

 

I just want to say thank you getofflex. The material you have been sending is very informative and helpful. You are almost through your Lexapro liquid taper? How has yours gone?

[getofflex]

19 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I just want to make sure that I am responding correctly.

Yes, you are.  I think yesterday, you and I just posted at the same time, so you may have missed my reply at first.  

 

19 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I forgot to mention that I had back surgery in August of 21 after falling off of a rock while fishing in June 21.

Oh my, that is no fun at all.  I'm sorry to hear this.  

 

19 hours ago, Ninabird said:

NO pain meds were used other than the day I came home from the hospital. I did not want another med in my system. To be truthful the pain prior to my surgery was worse pre-op. 

You are a warrior.  My hat is off to you for avoiding pain meds.  

 

19 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I have had a nice window today from 11am- current (it's 6pm CST) I still feel WD but not intensely as I have been. So so thankful for a break.

I'm very glad to hear this. 😃

 

19 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I just want to say thank you getofflex. The material you have been sending is very informative and helpful. You are almost through your Lexapro liquid taper? How has yours gone?

You're welcome.  It was pretty rocky at first, because I was tapering way too fast per doctor's bad advice, so I did a couple of big reinstatements on my own, and this may have kindled my system.  Once I found my way here, I followed the tapering advice, and have been slowly but surely getting better and better.  If things go well, I may be off by June!  I'm very excited! 

[Ninabird]

I have to say that I know I’m scared of the taper and I’m sure it brings on more anxiety. When I get new mental symptoms it does terrify me. I wonder, “ am I going bonkers…I’m I getting worse….will this ever get better…?”

I need to practice radical acceptance. This is what it is. 
 

4am woke w anxiety

6:15 woke up w anxiety

6:30 took meds

7am had green smoothie

7:30 took shower

8am took dogs on a mile walk

8:45-9-45 Anxiety (4) 

vacuumed and watered flowers

10am church

12 bbq at friends house

head tingling, anxiety comes and goes

1pm snacked on junk. Chips and dip, slice of Nuthing Bundt cake

2pm BBQ ribs, macaroni salad, lettuce salad, corn on the cob, grilled asparagus.watermelon & strawberries. 
feeling fatigued. 
 

WD was tolerable today. Anxiety was up and down a lot. Mood was ok. Ears are ringing. 
I’m ready to sit and read a book or work on a project. 

 

[Ninabird]

2 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I have to say that I know I’m scared of the taper and I’m sure it brings on more anxiety. When I get new mental symptoms it does terrify me. I wonder, “ am I going bonkers…I’m I getting worse….will this ever get better…?”

I need to practice radical acceptance. This is what it is. 
 

4am woke w anxiety

6:15 woke up w anxiety

6:30 took meds

7am had green smoothie

7:30 took shower

8am took dogs on a mile walk

8:45-9-45 Anxiety (4) 

vacuumed and watered flowers

10am church

12 bbq at friends house

head tingling, anxiety comes and goes

1pm snacked on junk. Chips and dip, slice of Nuthing Bundt cake

2pm BBQ ribs, macaroni salad, lettuce salad, corn on the cob, grilled asparagus.watermelon & strawberries. 
feeling fatigued. 
 

WD was tolerable today. Anxiety was up and down a lot. Mood was ok. Ears are ringing. 
I’m ready to sit and read a book or work on a project. 
Anxiety is up and down. Intermittent sadness and feeling DP a teeny bit.

4pm helped clean up  mostly to burn off anxious energy. It did help some.

5pm I’m home now.

feeling sadness, fatigue, mentally off.

 

2 hours ago, Ninabird said:

 

 

[Ninabird]

18 hours ago, getofflex said:

Yes, you are.  I think yesterday, you and I just posted at the same time, so you may have missed my reply at first.  

 

Oh my, that is no fun at all.  I'm sorry to hear this.  

 

You are a warrior.  My hat is off to you for avoiding pain meds.  

 

I'm very glad to hear this. 😃

 

You're welcome.  It was pretty rocky at first, because I was tapering way too fast per doctor's bad advice, so I did a couple of big reinstatements on my own, and this may have kindled my system.  Once I found my way here, I followed the tapering advice, and have been slowly but surely getting better and better.  If things go well, I may be off by June!  I'm very excited! 

Getofflex, I hope you do get to be free of Lexapro in June… it’s right around the corner! I’m excited for you. 
 

5:30am woke to anxiety (4)

back to sleep 

6:30 woke to anxiety 

took meds 

7am banana 

7:30 feel sad, a little anxious 

staying in bed later than I normally would 

8am brushed teeth and washed my face 

8am back in bed 

my eyes feel so tired, feeling sad like I want to cry, no motivation to get up today. This is not a first for me but I always in the past force myself to get up. My mind is going to dark places this morning. I’m starting to get worried that this will never end and that I’m getting worse. If I’ve been able to fight for the last year, why are some days harder to get up and out of bed? This morning I did notice that for two days, I haven’t had the usual burning in my head. That’s a nice break! I’m blessed that I’m still sleeping at least 6/7 hours a night.  Last night I went to bed early and slept for 8 hours. 
I miss looking forward to the day upon waking. I am missing ME. I miss waking up to the sounds of birds singing instead of waking up to anxiety. 
I have the last 10mg of Lexapro to taper once I stabilise. Then the Klonopin. I have come so far and made it through multiple med changes and CT’s. The last week I feel I’m losing some stamina. I need a good window so I can regroup and gather strength to keep fighting. I HAVE to keep fighting. I just can’t give in and lay in bed and let the WD wash over me. 

[getofflex]

From your journals, it doesn't seem as though you are having an adverse reaction to your drugs.  I don't see a flare up in symptoms in the 5 - 6 hours after you take them.  Correct me if I am wrong.

 

2 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I’m starting to get worried that this will never end and that I’m getting worse.

Please read that link above "Steps to Managing Withdrawal Symptoms".  It addresses this very feeling.  It may feel as if you are getting worse, because we have windows and waves, and in the waves we feel worse.  Recovery from this takes a very long time, and since there are ups and downs, its easy to feel as if we will never get getter.  But rest assured, eventually you will get better if you take proper care of yourself, and taper off as suggested.  This link helps you understand why it takes so long: 

 

What is Happening in Your Brain? (Explains why recovery takes so long)

 

2 hours ago, Ninabird said:

I have the last 10mg of Lexapro to taper once I stabilise. Then the Klonopin.

The good news is, it should be much easier, if you taper according to SA protocol, than the sudden drug changes you made in the past.  You've had quite a few drugs and drug changes in the past, so your system needs lots and lots of time to recover and stabilize. Please read this link: 

 

How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take, Factors Affecting Withdrawal

 

Have you read any of the success stories?  That will help to encourage you and give you hope.  

 

Success Stories

 

 

 

[Ninabird]

Getofflex 

Its hard to figure out if I’m having issues w the medications. I have ups and downs throughout the day. Usually the late afternoon is the easiest for me sometimes it’s mid-morning. 
Last night and this morning the depression had its hold on me. I had a therapy appointment this morning and I cried the entire hour. Mostly over losing my mom. I think I get overly emotional when the WD symptoms build up (a new wave) after a decent window. 
I think it might be a very good idea to eliminate sugar from my diet and also chips. 
I normally eat pretty healthy. Im sure diet plays a part in recovery. 
did you ever get bouts of depression from your tapering? 
when I was tapering down from Lexapro in the beginning I would get big waves of depression. I think those moments scared me a lot. I’m not a depressed person normally. I’m quite silly, laugh a lot, full of life. The last year I have seen glimpses of myself but only for short spurts. 
do you think I’m healing if I’m getting windows even though they are sometimes only short? Two weeks ago it was for 5 days. 
yesterday I had brief windows throughout the day. I still felt bad but not horrible. 

[getofflex]

6 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

Its hard to figure out if I’m having issues w the medications. I have ups and downs throughout the day. Usually the late afternoon is the easiest for me sometimes it’s mid-morning. 

I doubt you are having adverse reaction, but to be sure, pay special attention to how you feel before your meds, and then how you feel in the 5-6 hours after your meds.  If you feel significantly worse in those hours, every day, then that indicated adverse reaction.  The fact sometimes you feel best in the morning, after your meds, tells me you are just having the normal windows and waves.  

 

8 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

I think it might be a very good idea to eliminate sugar from my diet and also chips. 

Yes, this would be a good plan.  Eating healthy should help.  

 

8 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

did you ever get bouts of depression from your tapering?

I got, and still sometimes, get bouts of weeping and crying.  I attribute this to grief, and neuro emotions.  My emotions were blunted for so long on the Lexapro.  This is very typical for withdrawal.  

 

10 minutes ago, Ninabird said:

do you think I’m healing if I’m getting windows even though they are sometimes only short?

Oh yes, absolutely.  Recovery is so slow and gradual, often we can see improvement for a very long time.  But then one day we will look back and realize, hey, I feel better now than I did 6 months ago.  Hang in there, I think you are going to be just fine.   Don't forget to read those links I gave you in my previous post. 

[Ninabird]

getofflex, when you say the 5-6 hours after taking my morning medication, do you mean from the moment I take it UP until 5-6 hours later? I hope that doesn't sound like a stupid question. I swear, these meds make me feel like I have lost some needed brain cells. ;)-

[getofflex]

Yes

[Ninabird]

Getofflex

is depression a big part of WD? I was looking back at my latest journal. It goes back to 3/13. I see depression & anxiety as common themes. If I had to pick the one constant it would be anxiety. It’s like a 70/30 split. 
 

 

[Ninabird]

@getofflex I started my liquid Lexapro today. I’m going to hold 10mg for another week to adjust to the liquid. I just stumbled upon an admin saying to slowly switch over from tablet to liquid. Did I just sabotage myself by not acclimating to liquid????

[Ariel]

Hi @Ninabird

 

On 5/10/2022 at 2:48 AM, Ninabird said:

is depression a big part of WD?

 

Yes, it can be. (I'm not completely sure what you mean by "depression" but I'm going off of an idea of low mood, negative thinking, emotional pain, fatigue, existential discomfort, etc. -- the blues.) I think different people have different symptom combos in different proportions (and at different times -- it's all rather variable and shape-shifting), but it seems quite common. 

 

Have you had the opportunity to check out the SA help topic on Neuro-emotions? I think getofflex included it in one of her earlier posts, but I know that when we're new here it can be quite overwhelming sometimes as there's so much great information all at once. It can take a while to familiarize ourselves with the material, and even so I find myself returning to the same posts again and again, reading and re-reading. I also often discover new threads. SA is a cornucopia of resources.

 

The Neuro-emotions help topic is extremely useful in helping contextualize the many wild, overpowering, unpredictable emotions and emotional states withdrawal can grace us with. 

Here's the link again, in case you feel like revisiting it (and there are even more good links within the help topic itself):

 

 

Thinking of you, go gently,

A.

 

[Ninabird]

@Ariel

"Depression," for me are feelings of deep sadness. I am so, so thankful that it doesn't last but a few hours or a random day at a time. You are correct to say that it changes often. 

 

I have read many of the articles that Mods have sent and others that I find on my own. There is so much helpful information on here. I also love the peer support. 

 

I was just telling my girlfriend that the rollercoaster of symptoms have slowed to a baby rollercoaster ride. What I am now trying to adjust to is old symptoms fading but new ones emerging. This has been frightening for me at times. Thinking I must be getting worse...The Neuro emotion article helped calm me somewhat. 

 

I am about to restart my taper from 10mg of Lexapro. I picked up my liquid form of the drug the other day. One day I can tackle the Klonopin taper but one drug at a time.

 

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. How are YOU? 

 

Warmest,

Ninabird

[Ninabird]

Today I feel like anxiety has a grip on my biceps. Does that make sense to anyone? 

[Ariel]

@Ninabird

 

5 hours ago, Ninabird said:

Today I feel like anxiety has a grip on my biceps. Does that make sense to anyone? 

 

Sure, why not? It's withdrawal, baby. ;-)

 

 

[LunaLex]

Hey lovely human, thank you so much for your message. Your story of pushing through withdrawal is crazy, in a good way! You're so very strong. 

 

I put myself into withdrawal by mistake while still ON lexapro and had to CT and reinstate, so I can relate a lot. 

 

The fluctuations of new symptoms can be scary and feel like a step backwards. But I try to reassure myself after reading the forums that that is healing! Our brains are up there trying to rewire everything and sometimes in patching up one thing a new leak shows up further down the line. But each time things get a little more fixed. 

 

At least, thats how I try to look at it. Lots of people report a shifting of symptoms as time goes on though. The unpredictablity is part of the withdrawal wheelhouse!

 

How did you cope with moving during WD! How is the new home? I have a brother your sons age, too. 

 

I hope youre having a low depression day, maybe a window, or just a little easier day. Thank you again.