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YWHsaveme: Nightmare, internal fights, Intrusive evil thoughts, Anxiety and strange sensations


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Hi guys!

 

After 9 years i finally stopped using zoloft, after a bumby ride of 14 months and 3 weeks i decided to make a account. for the decrease i used a tapering string with the decrease of 10% a month. my Zoloft dosage was on 150mg.

Sadly i experienced all sorts of hardships from mental pain till physical pains. My symptoms mainly go from a detached feeling from myself, intruisve Thoughts of hurting others or doing horrible acts towards either family or animals. Extreme anxiety ranging from short burst till 2 days. Strange sensations on my scalp, crawling sensations and burns on my forehead. Electric schocks included.

 

Everytime i try to feel myself with grounding or logic i get bombarded with extreme anxiety, extreme confussion. this results in thoughts of hurting someone, followed by confusion about who am i. followed by crying or scalp sensations.

Ofcourse i will never hurt someone, it's just the worst feeling especially for a religious person.

 

G-d have mercy on my soul.

150mg zoloft

9 years usage

 

10-5% decrease tapering a month. off meds 14 months and 3 weeks ago.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to YWHsaveme: Nightmare, internal fights, Intrusive evil thoughts, Anxiety and strange sensations
  • Moderator

Dear @YWHsaveme

welcome to SA. I am really sorry that you are going through such a hard time. One thing to remember is that these thoughts are not representative of who you are as a person. They are the effect of the drug on your brain. As time passes, they will go away. These are common to withdrawal in varying intensity. 

 

You may find reading through this thread helpful in order to understand the emotional havoc that withdrawal can cause

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14397-neuro-emotions/

 

You may have useful ways to deal with these emotions here: 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

 

These links will also help you understand what is happening to you

 The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

What is happening in your brain? - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

May I ask you to please fill in your drug signature so that we have your history for quick reference when we advise you? Here are instructions on how to do it: 

  How to List Drug History in Signature - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

 

We find that during withdrawal people's systems are hypersensitive to all kinds of chemicals incl other drugs (even some antibiotics) so we advise that people avoid alcohol, psychoactive substances and even supplements. However, many of our members find  magnesium and Omega-3 helpful. If you do decide to try them, please add them one at a time in small doses so that if you do have a reaction to either you can stop.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

This is your introduction topic and we would like to keep questions related to your individual case here. You can ask any questions here and usually a moderator will be available to answer. You can also look at and post at other members' threads to get and offer support. 

 

Welcome again and may you find respite soon, 

OMW

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

If you would like to get a response from me directly please type @Onmyway some place in your message so I get notified of your post. I am not able to follow all of the threads all the time.

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, 

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

 

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@onmyway

 

Today it has been another hell, waking up with cortisol spikes again.

 

Terrible anxiety all through the day. After waking up crying and having constant panic attacks. Followed by strange physical sensations. it feels as if can only feel my body but totally disconnected from my own thoughts.

I can't feel the difference anymore.. confusion is making it worse. Hypogrondria OCD is mixing with the detached meant. thoughts of losing identity, thoughts of going crazy, thoughts of despair. if there is a test of the lord then this must be it. holy sh*t. Not even minor workouts can fix it.

 

Sometimes light flashes(floaters but made out of light) with a  burning sensation on my face and the twitches. all on the day i have these muscle spasms, i don't know if this is related to anxiety or stress.

 

After 14 months of this fight i may choose to get back on the pills if this become so bad. Strange that i only have experienced it for the last 3 weeks, while the last 4 months was easy. i you would've compared it from month 1-4.

150mg zoloft

9 years usage

 

10-5% decrease tapering a month. off meds 14 months and 3 weeks ago.

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  • Moderator

Hi @YWHsaveme

it sounds like you are in a wave. Can you please fill in your signature so we can advise you on reinstatement. 

How to List Drug History in Signature - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

 

Reinstatement is definitely an option but it works best if it is done close to the time when you came off of the drugs. When your system is destabilized like it is now, it is very sensitive to new additions of drugs and reinstatement can sometimes can make things worse. And if you do decide to reinstate we would advise you to start very slow (0.5mg) so that if you get an adverse reaction you can stop quickly. 

 

Did you do something in the last week that may created a setback? Did you start a new supplement or drink alcohol (that can often make things worse) or is there a lot of stress in your life right now that can explain this setback? 

 

Your symptoms sound like typical withdrawal symptoms. Your morning exacerbation of symptoms is due to the increase in cortisol early morning and because a nervous system in withdrawal is more sensitive to cortisol. 

 

A few things may help with the morning cortisol response: 

1) sleep in as dark an environment as possible (blackout curtains, eye mask, foil on the windows, whatever gets you there) 

2) a baby aspirin the night before may help lower the cortisol response in the morning

3) Check out some other tips here: Waking with panic or anxiety -- managing the morning cortisol spike

 

Also check out this for other symptoms. 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

This will get better, hang in there, 

OMW

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

If you would like to get a response from me directly please type @Onmyway some place in your message so I get notified of your post. I am not able to follow all of the threads all the time.

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, 

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

 

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Thanks for responding @Onmyway,

 

your right. i been having stress, its like a cycle. i was stressed out because of exams, this may triggered a wave. the anxiety of the wave only made it worse.

I just woke up again with a cortisol spike. It's a strange feeling, it's as if i re-experience every single withdrawal symptom of the last 1 1/2 years almost. It feels as if a drove into me.

 

The worst part is identity, it's hard to identify with myself. as if a wall is between me and my self. this with neuro-emotions, anxiety and irrational thoughts is killing.

I may go reinstate, i slowly recognize myself and the symptoms are bad but it's as if i don't care anymore. i stop taking my supplements because it was all to painful.

 

My whole neuro/nervous system is completly blown out. Stressed and sometimes strange sensations all over the body.

 

this has been the worst wave in my entire live.

 

150mg zoloft

9 years usage

 

10-5% decrease tapering a month. off meds 14 months and 3 weeks ago.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Onmyway said:

Can you please fill in your signature so we can advise you on reinstatement. 

How to List Drug History in Signature - Introductions and updates - Surviving Antidepressants

 

As requested above by Onmyway, please click on the link for instruction on how to create your drug signature.  This is different from the drug history information you provided when you joined SA; that is only visible to staff.  We need to be able to see your drug history below every post which is where the drug signature will appear.  Thank you.

 * * * * * *   PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO   * * * * * *

Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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