Administrator Altostrata Posted November 17, 2022 Administrator Share Posted November 17, 2022 Please review The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization 1 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
conkaia Posted December 5, 2022 Author Share Posted December 5, 2022 So I've had a week of relative stability! I feel pretty much normal and able to manage any stray intrusive thoughts that creep in. I'm praying I'm finally turning a corner after the worst six months of my life. Hang in there everyone, there is hope 1 August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted December 5, 2022 Administrator Share Posted December 5, 2022 Good to hear! Be sure to take our drugs at the same dosage and time each day, no drinking, treat your nervous system gently and let it stabilize. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Thorin Posted January 5, 2023 Share Posted January 5, 2023 On 12/5/2022 at 11:22 PM, conkaia said: So I've had a week of relative stability! I feel pretty much normal and able to manage any stray intrusive thoughts that creep in. I'm praying I'm finally turning a corner after the worst six months of my life. Hang in there everyone, there is hope This confirms the intrusive thoughts are WD and not you! 1 Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
conkaia Posted January 7, 2023 Author Share Posted January 7, 2023 On 1/5/2023 at 11:44 PM, Thorin said: This confirms the intrusive thoughts are WD and not you! Thanks @Thorin they really are the worst symptom of all this for me! August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
conkaia Posted February 12, 2023 Author Share Posted February 12, 2023 Okay so I am an absolute idiot. I've been feeling generally back to normal since the new year. Even had the odd alcoholic drink without any issues. Anyway I was out on Friday night and drank more than intended. Felt not too bad on waking yesterday morning but later on in the afternoon, was hit with a WHOOSH of a vile intrusive thought/image. Anxiety has been ripping out of me since and I can't stop crying. Back to sobriety for me for the foreseeable. These intrusive thoughts are the absolute WORST, its so frustrating. This is because of the alcohol destabilising me, right? Also I'm really stressed at work and I've been trying to gradually reduce Ashwagandha (its not doing anything anymore) so maybe that's playing a part too, its all so confusing. I thought I'd be okay to drink by now but clearly not . How long realistically can I expect it to take to stabilise completely, will I ever be back to baseline again? August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 13, 2023 Administrator Share Posted February 13, 2023 It's not like this hasn't come up before. On 9/22/2022 at 4:21 PM, Altostrata said: Drinking alcohol can set back your stabilization from withdrawal. If you've been drinking intermittently, you'd have to allow some months after you've fully stopped drinking to stabilize. If you insist on making your own problems, nothing we say here can fix that. You're going to need to choose between drinking and stabilizing from your drug and alcohol history. We can't make miracles to reverse your error, you'll have to cope with feeling awful until it goes away. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
conkaia Posted May 7, 2023 Author Share Posted May 7, 2023 Hello again. So I haven’t been drinking and have achieved several months of feeling like I’d finally healed. But in the past week the trauma of withdrawal has been triggered due to issues at work (I’m a mental health nurse). I’ve been getting intrusive memories of the horrible thoughts I was experiencing. Like they don’t come in with a whoosh, it’s more like the memories of how bad it was come into my mind. I had a nightmare on Friday night and it’s set me back a good bit. It’s all really frustrating, as I thought I’d healed. Do you think it’s common to have waves this far into recovery? August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted May 8, 2023 Administrator Share Posted May 8, 2023 Yes, waves can persist for quite a while into recovery. See Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take? "Is it always going to be like this?" The importance of recognizing you're feeling good Creating a new self after withdrawal Good to hear you've otherwise improved. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
conkaia Posted May 12, 2023 Author Share Posted May 12, 2023 @Altostrata thank you. I'm planning on going back to post grad study next year after taking this year out. I did it last year in the midst of withdrawal/reinstating and it was horrific. I had planned to start tapering again next year but I'm now thinking I might just hold until 2025. I just can't face the thought of trying to do coursework whilst feeling so bad and I'm thinking the longer I stay stable, the better chance I'll have of minimising symptoms when I do taper again. Also I'm peri menopausal (I think near the end thankfully and was doing just fine before withdrawal!) so if I wait two years hopefully my hormones will have settled down. On the other hand I want meds out of my system so badly, I feel like I'm kind of failing by staying on them. Anyway, keep up the good work 1 August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
conkaia Posted October 15, 2023 Author Share Posted October 15, 2023 @Altostrata could sea / motion sickness trigger a wave? I’ve been stable for some months now but yesterday I got sick on a ferry. I woke up this morning with severe anxiety, which is scaring the life out of me. I can’t think of any other reason for feeling like this. August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 16, 2023 Administrator Share Posted October 16, 2023 Maybe you were actually seasick? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
conkaia Posted October 17, 2023 Author Share Posted October 17, 2023 On 10/16/2023 at 1:08 AM, Altostrata said: Maybe you were actually seasick? I definitely was seasick. But the next day I woke up with severe anxiety, with no trigger whatsoever. I was wondering if the sea sickness might have triggered a mini wave (no pun intended!). Thankfully it's passed now and I feel back to normal. August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
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