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Maxine: I might be over-reacting but I'm struggling


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Firstly, in the quickest of glances over other people's topics, i feel that my struggle is unworthy of any complaining and that I should just leave this site... BUT, i know that every struggle is worthy of support. My struggle and symptoms may be different to others, but it is still painful and each hour of each day is hard work.

 

My signature provides a VERY brief history, but as we all know, there is soo so sooooo much that i could tell, that we all could tell, that makes us the unique people that we are (with our unique responses and reactions). My wish is to have a place where i can share my story and then be told exactly what i need to do to end this suffering! HA!

OK, really, Im looking to this site to see if i can find some support and maybe some advice, to either normalise what i am experiencing and give me some hope, or to provide some strategies for how to cope with what i am struggling with.

 

the questions i ponder on a daily basis...

1/ is this withdrawal or relapse

2/ how long will this last

3/ is what i am doing the best thing i could be doing? or is there something else i could try?

4/ when do i give up (and go back on AD's)

23 years on Sertraline. Dosage varied from 50mg to 200mg. Mostly higher doses over the past 8 years.

12 months tapering off, without any direct guidance. Noted withdrawal symptoms at every incremental drop (dizziness, malaise, irritability and agitation, brain fog) - final dose on 25 April 2022.

The first 4 weeks were tough

the next 4 weeks were HELL

I think things are improving

 

Supplements

High dose Magnesium citrate, 5-HTP (PRN), Bottlebrush flower essence, L-Glutamine, MitoXcell 

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Maxine: I might be over-reacting but I'm struggling
  • Administrator

Welcome, @Maxine

 

Your pattern is that of withdrawal syndrome. It's very unlikely that after 23 years, you would have relapsed. Your brain and body are completely different now. 

 

How's your sleep?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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hi altostrata

My sleep is ok, its no different to normal

it was bad for about a week at the 4 week mark but has normalised again

 

i have noted a significant improvement in mood over the past 3-4 days, possibley partly due to my connection with my naturopath and integration of some energetic self management strategies?

 

Max

 

 

 

23 years on Sertraline. Dosage varied from 50mg to 200mg. Mostly higher doses over the past 8 years.

12 months tapering off, without any direct guidance. Noted withdrawal symptoms at every incremental drop (dizziness, malaise, irritability and agitation, brain fog) - final dose on 25 April 2022.

The first 4 weeks were tough

the next 4 weeks were HELL

I think things are improving

 

Supplements

High dose Magnesium citrate, 5-HTP (PRN), Bottlebrush flower essence, L-Glutamine, MitoXcell 

 

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  • Administrator

What we see here is that withdrawal syndrome very slowly fades, with lots of setbacks, over months. Since you have seen some improvement already, this is likely to continue as long as you don't upset your nervous system again. Treat it gently. You should avoid alcohol, antibiotic and steroid treatments (if you can), artificial additives, overdoing exercise, extreme heat or light; eat fresh foods, minimize sugar; keep regular hours to preserve your sleep.

 

See 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 

Creating a new self after withdrawal

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)

 

Progress! What withdrawal symptoms have gone away for you? 

 

Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement

 

Please let us know how you're doing as you recover, this helps other people!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 6/13/2022 at 11:39 AM, Maxine said:

Firstly, in the quickest of glances over other people's topics, i feel that my struggle is unworthy of any complaining and that I should just leave this site... BUT, i know that every struggle is worthy of support. My struggle and symptoms may be different to others, but it is still painful and each hour of each day is hard work.

 

My signature provides a VERY brief history, but as we all know, there is soo so sooooo much that i could tell, that we all could tell, that makes us the unique people that we are (with our unique responses and reactions). My wish is to have a place where i can share my story and then be told exactly what i need to do to end this suffering! HA!

OK, really, Im looking to this site to see if i can find some support and maybe some advice, to either normalise what i am experiencing and give me some hope, or to provide some strategies for how to cope with what i am struggling with.

 

the questions i ponder on a daily basis...

1/ is this withdrawal or relapse

2/ how long will this last

3/ is what i am doing the best thing i could be doing? or is there something else i could try?

4/ when do i give up (and go back on AD's)


just want to say your story matters, your struggle matters, and that you matter, you are very welcome here to share whatever is going on for you as you heal. I hope that connecting with others in your situation helps you.

2009-2017 - 40mg Prozac, 2mg Risperdal, 200mg Seroquel, 7.5mg Zopiclone, 1.5mg Lorazepam, 50mg Setraline, 6mg Valium, 1mg Clonzepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone 7.5mg, - Adderall 20mg, 20mg Ritalin, 1mg Clonazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone ,50mg Trazadone  40mg Citalopram, 40mg Strattera - 5mg Abilify, 250mg Trazadone, 40mg Testosterone (pills) - 100mg Seroqual, 50mg Remeron- 150mg Wellbutrin XL - Clonazepam 1mg > 5-6mg (and Bridge to Valium 40mg), Pregabalin - 300mg > 600mg, Ritalin 40mg,  0.25m>0.5mll Testosterone Entate, Adderall 30mg, Oxycodone 10mg, Loxapine 40mg, Seroquel 100mg, Lamitical 75mg, Cyclobenzaprine 15mg, Tramadol 200mg, Codeine 120mg, October - 2017 - Begin Valium taper at 40mg - 2mg every two weeks June 2018 - Rapid Detox in rehab from 200mg Tramadol, 600mg Pregabalin, 4mg Valium over 3 weeks. August 2018 Cold Turkey 70mg Lisdexamfetamine  October 2018 - 30mg Cymbalta, Feburary 2019 reinstate 70mg Lisdexamfetamine March 2019 Cold turkey Cymbalta&Lisdexamfetamine July 2019 - Reinstate 30mg Cymbalta and 70mg Lisdexamfetamine. October 2019  start taper 5-10% Cymbalta every 2-4 weeks  February 2021 2.42mg Cymbalta (15 beads) 0.4ml Testosterone Enantate IM biweekly Discontinued CT - Lisdexamfetamine 70mg
March 2021-March 2022- remove 1 bead Cymbalta per month-6 weeks - switch to Testogel 50mg then back to Enatate 0.4ml
March 2022 - Switch to Nebido 1000mg (every 12 weeks) - 2 beads Cymbalta (0.3mg
)

April 2022 - 1 bead Cymbalta (0.15mg)


May 18th 2022 - 0 Beads (0.00mg) - 100% PSYCH DRUG FREE!


Supplements - Magnesium Malate, (half teaspoon) Glycinate, L-theronate (quater teaspoon) dissolved in water 2mg Melotonin, 1000mg Omega-3 Fish Oil x3 daily
 

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thank you Dirtvoid

and congratulations for being 100% psych drug free!!!

23 years on Sertraline. Dosage varied from 50mg to 200mg. Mostly higher doses over the past 8 years.

12 months tapering off, without any direct guidance. Noted withdrawal symptoms at every incremental drop (dizziness, malaise, irritability and agitation, brain fog) - final dose on 25 April 2022.

The first 4 weeks were tough

the next 4 weeks were HELL

I think things are improving

 

Supplements

High dose Magnesium citrate, 5-HTP (PRN), Bottlebrush flower essence, L-Glutamine, MitoXcell 

 

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What we see here is that withdrawal syndrome very slowly fades, with lots of setbacks, over months. Since you have seen some improvement already, this is likely to continue as long as you don't upset your nervous system again. Treat it gently. You should avoid alcohol, antibiotic and steroid treatments (if you can), artificial additives, overdoing exercise, extreme heat or light; eat fresh foods, minimize sugar; keep regular hours to preserve your sleep.

 

See 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 

Creating a new self after withdrawal

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)

 

Progress! What withdrawal symptoms have gone away for you? 

 

Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement

 

Please let us know how you're doing as you recover, this helps other people!

 

11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What we see here is that withdrawal syndrome very slowly fades, with lots of setbacks, over months. Since you have seen some improvement already, this is likely to continue as long as you don't upset your nervous system again. Treat it gently. You should avoid alcohol, antibiotic and steroid treatments (if you can), artificial additives, overdoing exercise, extreme heat or light; eat fresh foods, minimize sugar; keep regular hours to preserve your sleep.

 

See 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 

"Is it always going to be like this?"

 

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 

Creating a new self after withdrawal

 

Protracted Withdrawal or PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome)

 

Progress! What withdrawal symptoms have gone away for you? 

 

Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement

 

Please let us know how you're doing as you recover, this helps other people!

Thanks for this Altostrata,

 

I notice these waves, mentioned in the links above. For example i had a great 3 days and now im having a really really bad day, most likely because i was too active yesterday (went for a long ride and did a gym workout in one day) and had 2 drinks (of alcohol).

This upsets me no end as i have to be so careful with every decision i make or else i will tip myself out of balance. its awful feeling like a shell of the person i once was.

 

Part of me often wonders if these waves are even anything to do with the antidepressants or withdrawal? I noticed this sensitivity before I came of the AD's, that was part of the reason i decided to come off them, because i felt so unbalanced and decided they weren't helping!

 

and now i feel like its even worse (sorry - poor me moment - when we are in a wave, it feels like we have always been unwell and always will be unwell - rings so so true!!!) 

 

What if this is just "me"? Maybe I just have a really sensitive nervous system and it will always be like this? 

Regardless, the links you have shared are helpful. It helps to see other people describing exactly what I experience. I often feel like im the only person on this lonely journey.

23 years on Sertraline. Dosage varied from 50mg to 200mg. Mostly higher doses over the past 8 years.

12 months tapering off, without any direct guidance. Noted withdrawal symptoms at every incremental drop (dizziness, malaise, irritability and agitation, brain fog) - final dose on 25 April 2022.

The first 4 weeks were tough

the next 4 weeks were HELL

I think things are improving

 

Supplements

High dose Magnesium citrate, 5-HTP (PRN), Bottlebrush flower essence, L-Glutamine, MitoXcell 

 

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Hi maxine,

 

i recommend you to stop drink alcohol.

it triggers the central nervesystem.

 

this can make the withdrawal much worse for a while.

 

 

2014-2020 Haloperidol
2017-2021 Zoloft
2018-2021 Issues zoloft so i decreased on both Haloperidol

November 2020 Taper down Haloperidol(barely any issues)
March 2021 taper down from zoloft(alot of issues)
Zoloft taperdown from march till late june
25mg was my dosage, may 10mg(from 10 too 5 was hard), 5mg in end of june every lowar dosage gave me alot of issues. clean in end of june.

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  • Moderator

@Maxine

You have the option of reinstating a small dosage of the drug to help with some of the withdrawal problems. It would be a small dose 0.5 - 1 mg but it can make a difference to your symptoms. Let me know if you'd like to know more.

 

We also advise strongly against alcohol and other psychoactive substances incl supplements and some vitamins. They can hinder recovery.

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

If you would like to get a response from me directly please type @Onmyway some place in your message so I get notified of your post. I am not able to follow all of the threads all the time.

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week, 

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

 

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  • Administrator
15 hours ago, Maxine said:

This upsets me no end as i have to be so careful with every decision i make or else i will tip myself out of balance. its awful feeling like a shell of the person i once was.

 

While your nervous system is in a vulnerable state, you will need to take care of it, which means no alcohol. This doesn't mean you're a shell of a person, but that you must learn to prioritize taking care of yourself.

 

You will need the upset from alcohol to settle over the next week before evaluating your withdrawal symptom baseline.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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