cooper50925: cold turky Zyprexa - I'm lost

[cooper50925]

Hello everyone,

I'm sorry for my english, it is not my native language. also, I'm very tired these days and I'm having a hard time writing this.

 

I have alot of problams in my life, but I will try to focus on my terrible journey with zyprexa and my current situation:

 

 I'm 29 years old. Before zyprexa, I had strong labido and would sleep for 8-9 hours. I did have some trouble falling asleep though.

 

I was hospitalized for 2 weeks on August 2020 and was given 10mg zyprexa, 2mg biperiden and 8mg perphenazine.
When I got out, I stopped taking them, and after 7 days I suddenly couldn't sleep. 
I mean 0 sleep. my mom gave me a sleeping pill (brotizolam, she takes it occasionally),
and it did nothing. I didn't understood what was happening to me.
We then booked an appointment to a psychiatrist.
After 5 days from hell with no sleep at all I had my appointment.
The psychiatrist told me to take back zyprexa and up the dosage to 20mg and also take 2mg biperiden. I wanted to sleep so badly that I listened to him.
I then slept for 12 hours during the night and 4 more during the day. zyprexa made me tired no matter how much I slept.
I wanted to lower the dosage but was too afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep. 
after 3 month I lowered it to 15mg. then I started to devlope sleep disturbences.
I would wake up in the middle of the night (I need to go pee once a night) and had a hard time falling back to sleep. 

In mid 2021, I started to devlop restless leg. I would walk around my room back and forth from the moment I woke up untill I gone to bed.

Sometimes I even ate while walking. Couldn't sit still for more than a few minutes at a time.

During 2021, when i tried to lower my zyprexa dosage to 12.5mg , I would wake up in the middle of the night
and stayed wide awake. 
This lasted until january 2022, when my psychiatrist prescribed me sliping pills (brotizolam). the same ones my mother gave me.
From that point up until now, I am taking brotizolam * (See bottom of post for more information).
I lowered the dosage from 15mg to 12.5mg and was able to go back to sleep after waking up.
I then lowerd it by 2.5mg every 2 weeks, and when I got down to 2.5mg, after 7 days I couldn't sleep .
So I went back to 5mg and hold it for a month.
Only around that time I did my reaserch about zyprexa. I was terrefied from what I have found online.
I then tried to taper from 5mg to 4.5 using a gemini scale but the reading was all over the place. 
It wasn't accurate. I asked for a new one and it was the same thing (I did calibrate it). I then bought expensive scale (bel engineering s303). also wasn't accurate.

I used it anyway, and after 2 weeks I beagun to only sleep for a few hours.
Knowing I probably wouldn't be able to keep it up for years to come, I decided to quit cold turky and stay only with the brotilzam.
I was sure that after 7 days I wouldn't be able to fall asleep but I somehow did.
Problem is, my sleep only last 4 hours at best. one night I did get 6 hours. but some nights I barley sleep. 
Quitting zyprexa was on May 22. It has been 5 weeks since. 
I also had some teribble nausa for a few days but that has gone away. Restless leg has also gone (most of it) two weeks after stopping zyprexa.

I can sit still most of the time now, but I'm having a hard time focusing on anything really. I have high amount of anxity and depression (and I can't seem to meditate).
Also, I lost all sexual desire after quitting zyprexa. while on zyprexa, I had very litte desire but it was something. 
Now it has gone completly. I feel completly impotent. I'm scared it won't come back. I can't see myself living without it.

I read about it, and about other people going through the same thing, and it seems hopeless.

 

*

Brotizolam is a sedative-hypnotic thienotriazolodiazepine drug which is a benzodiazepine analog. It possesses anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, hypnotic, sedative and skeletal muscle relaxant properties, and is considered to be similar in effect to other short-acting hypnotic benzodiazepines such as triazolam or midazolam.Wikipedia

 

Edited June 28, 2022 by ChessieCat
added information of drug

[cooper50925]

I want to explain myself further:

 

The reason I was hospitalized was due to not leaving my room for 3 years because of high anxity levels.

I was being highly paranoid. I thought someone hacked my phone and pc, and that I was being followed. 

That lead to hospitalization. Zyprexa didn't help me figuring out I was worng though.

That happened only by myself. I was able to come to the understanding I was worng and paranoid for no reason.

Unfortunately, I am highly sensitive to psychiatric meds, just like the rest of you on this forum.

Zyprexa has ruined my life, and people around me don't understand what I am going throgh.

They are saying it's an easy fix, just switch meds. They think those meds are safe.

Beacuse most people who takes those drugs are not hyper sensitive to them like we are.

No one hears about us, the small precentage which is condemn to suffer.

 

I have PSSD. Don't try to tell me it can sort itself out.  It is not reversible. And this is no way to live.

 

I also didn't mention above- except for insomnia and pssd, I also have headaches and heat waves.

 

 

Edited June 28, 2022 by ChessieCat
changed red text to regular

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @cooper50925

 

I am sorry you've had such difficulty with psychiatric drugs.

 

On 6/24/2022 at 7:47 AM, cooper50925 said:

Quitting zyprexa was on May 22. It has been 5 weeks since. 
I also had some teribble nausa for a few days but that has gone away. Restless leg has also gone (most of it) two weeks after stopping zyprexa.

I can sit still most of the time now, but I'm having a hard time focusing on anything really. I have high amount of anxity and depression (and I can't seem to meditate).
Also, I lost all sexual desire after quitting zyprexa. while on zyprexa, I had very litte desire but it was something. 

 

What we see is that withdrawal syndrome very slowly goes away over months, as does PSSD. You've seen some improvement in your symptoms; it's likely this will continue. 

 

What does the anxiety and depression feel like? How's your sleep now?

[Adama]

On 6/28/2022 at 12:21 PM, cooper50925 said:

I want to explain myself further:

 

The reason I was hospitalized was due to not leaving my room for 3 years because of high anxity levels.

I was being highly paranoid. I thought someone hacked my phone and pc, and that I was being followed. 

That lead to hospitalization. Zyprexa didn't help me figuring out I was worng though.

That happened only by myself. I was able to come to the understanding I was worng and paranoid for no reason.

Unfortunately, I am highly sensitive to psychiatric meds, just like the rest of you on this forum.

Zyprexa has ruined my life, and people around me don't understand what I am going throgh.

They are saying it's an easy fix, just switch meds. They think those meds are safe.

Beacuse most people who takes those drugs are not hyper sensitive to them like we are.

No one hears about us, the small precentage which is condemn to suffer.

 

I have PSSD. Don't try to tell me it can sort itself out.  It is not reversible. And this is no way to live.

 

I also didn't mention above- except for insomnia and pssd, I also have headaches and heat waves.

 

 

Hey there cooper, how are u? how is PSSD now?

I'm from Israel and looking for some peers, maybe to do a support group...

Best

Adama

[ChessieCat]

@cooper50925  If you wish to give your contact details to Adama, please do it via PM.  Do not post your phone number or email address in a public post.

[Altostrata]

Thanks for doing this, @Adama