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In Memory of LHC


tezza

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I was living in a very small, one horse town. L... Was my best friend, I was 17, she was 14. She had skipped school and came to my house. Well, I needed to go to the Post Office to get my mail and I was out of cigarettes. L... Said, "I can't go to town, my brother, M... Is doing a repair job at the Hardware store. If I go and he sees me, he'll tell on me". So, I came up with a 'bright idea'.

 

Someone, I have no idea who or why, had given me a bag of clothes that were a size or two too big. In the bag was two wigs, they were silverfish in color but they were stylish for someone around 30 years old, I guess. One wig was sorta shag style and the other was a shorter style. There was a fad around that time for that color, which I never understood. But, that was around 1975, so go figure. We both had wire rimmed glasses that neither one of us wore like we were supposed to. We would cleverly disguise ourselves and walk (my car would be known) to the convenience store and the Post Office.

 

L... Said she couldn't go inside the store because my next door neighbor worked the day shift. He was a friend of her brother and would recognize her. (like he wasn't going to recognize me, duh...) So we put on these odd looking clothes and stuffed our bras and panties with washcloths. We applied LOTS of makeup, we needed to look at least 30 yrs old. We put on the wigs, she was a natural blonde, I was a natural brunette, so you can imagine how utterly ridiculous we looked. We put on our glasses and off to town we went a walking. It wasn't very far.

 

I went inside the convenience store to get the cigarettes. I'd already decided I couldn't get Marlboro Reds because I got those every day at that store, (FROM MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR)That might give me away....so, in my most polite 'stranger's' voice, I asked for a " pack of Camel filters". My neighbor looked at me a little funny, kinda concerned. I saw him look through the store-front glass toward L... I looked over my shoulder to see her standing with her back to the glass but looking over her shoulder at my neighbor and me finishing our transaction. I got the Camels and we went on our way, further into town.

 

We couldn't go down Main Street so we started down the back alley. The back of the Hardware store was about halfway down and we were about halfway to where it was. Guess who came out the back door and was crossing the back alley road just about 40 feet in front of us. Yep, it was her brother, M...! I had my big happy smile and walked a few more steps toward him as he was looking sideways toward us with a very odd look on his face. Suddenly I realized L.... wasn't beside me, I looked over my shoulder and she was running twenty feet behind me going back the way we came from. I turned around and started running after her. WHEW!!!! That was close! We went around another block to get to the Post Office.

 

We went back the same way to head back to my house. We got past the end of the back alley, then past the end of Main Street. Finally we were past the convenience store and on the sidewalk headed back toward the street I lived on. We thought we were home free when a car coming from behind us, going the way we were going started to pass us. A female voice called out "hey L..., hey T...." We looked at each other totally stunned! It was two girls that knew us, they were skipping school too! But, they knew us from behind and from a distance.

 

L.... Asked them the next day how they knew it was us. K...said "nobody walks like T...." I was trying to walk in a totally different way. I asked her if her brother said anything about it, she said he never did. Neither did my neighbor. I'm still not sure what my neighbor was thinking, maybe he thought we were gonna try to rob him or maybe he thought we were NUTS!!!!

 

We had a lot of fun together....part of my heart is missing :( (K... Is the one who called to give me the sad news)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear Tezza,

 

Nothing will bring two like minded souls together like Mischief! Thanks for sharing the memory of your adventure. Nothing I can say will

heal your heart but I am thinking of you. Be gentle on yourself and share when it helps

 

take care

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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You take me right back there with you. What a wonderful, fun memory! I sure do miss those kind of days.

 

Thank you for sharing, Tezza.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you Dalsaan and Barb, for letting me know you read that. Wow, I was SO naive! We both were to think we weren't gonna be recognized in a town where everyone knew everyone. Two strangers walking tthrough a town in the middle of NOWHERE! What were we thinking? Or not?

 

L.... Always said I was Lucy, thinking up crazy shenanigans and talking her, Ethel, into going along with it.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you for this, Tezza. :)

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Tezza it's bittersweet isn't it. Sorry for you loss. Takes time Tezza to heal and sticking to such memories is the way to go.

 

Sharing about your loss is healing too.

 

Lots and lots of hugs.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you so much, Nikki.

 

It really did help to share that fun memory and it makes me feel better to know other's are reading it. It's like it's keeping her alive, somehow. Though, I know she is alive in spirit but this is keeping her in this dimension in some way.

 

I hope you are feeling better, I've been thinking of you and reading your comments.

 

Love and hugs, to you Nokki,

 

Tezza

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  • Administrator

Thank you for sharing your wonderful memory. I'm sorry for your loss.

Posted Image

Karma

2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax

200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg
Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg
Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor


I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you, Karma,

 

I really appreciate all the times you've helped me.

 

Today is kinda another sad day because this is the date my Daddy passed away on.

 

I keep reading that fun memory and it brings a little cheer. I hope it can bring a smile to all who read it. It is bittersweet, like, I think it was Nikki, that said. I'm fighting this low mood with all my might.

 

You are always in my heart and thoughts, lots of love and hugs to you.

 

Thank you for always being there.

 

Love you,

 

Tezza

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