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Victoria94: polydrugged and desperate - don't know what to do


Victoria94

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Original title:  polydrugged, desperate, no idea what is happening to me or what I should do

 

Hi, I am unsure of how this forum works so sorry if I get this wrong

I am terrified I am going to get put into a psychiatric ward, I have been on a cocktail of drugs since May for what was mild anxiety and mild insomnia. I now have such a wide range of symptoms, and my psychiatrist is insistent it isn't damage done from the medications or the serotonin. but I was not like this before I took the medications. So I am reluctant to try Quetiapine which he is suggesting in a few weeks. The feeling of hopelessness is really leaving me in despair.

Initial symptoms before antidepressants
Mild anxiety
Mild Insomnia
was able to work, go to the gym and socialised

May 19th - 25m Sertraline
May 27th- 50mg Sertraline,
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam, Zopiclone 7.5mg - psychiatrist suspects serotonin syndrome from this point on as all the symptoms fit
June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam, 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg valium, 7.5mg Zopiclone - increase in serotonin syndrome symptoms
July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg valium, 7.5mg Zop
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium*, stopped zop
August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium (symptoms were too much dropped down against psychiatrists recommendatio)
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium
August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.5 8mg valium (I thought I might kill myself from the thoughts so I upped the dose, I've been really disciplined so far)

Symptoms now
Extreme anxiety, persistent Insomnia, confusion, heart palpitations, constant suicidal ideation, hitting myself in the face to stop the thoughts, restless legs, no joy, spontaneous weeping spells

The venlafaxine was the most traumatising part of this with the serotonin syndrome, but the longer I am sleep deprived the more I feel I will be sectioned or do something stupid.  I also think I dropped the mirtazapine down too quickly after reading this forum. Should I up the mirtazapine again or use valium to help sleep?

Any help or input would be appreciated. I really need a solution or at least someone to talk to who understands because I can't go on like this much longer
 

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to TylerPez: polydrugged, desperate, no idea what is happening to me or what I should do
  • Administrator

Welcome, @Victoria94

 

On 8/27/2022 at 1:15 PM, TylerPez said:

May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam, Zopiclone 7.5mg - psychiatrist suspects serotonin syndrome from this point on as all the symptoms fit

 

What were the symptoms from this drug combination? Why were diazepam and zopiclone added to sertraline?

 

You're currently taking 3.5mg mirtazapine with 8mg Valium? What times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 8/28/2022 at 8:43 PM, Altostrata said:

Welcome, @Victoria94

 

 

What were the symptoms from this drug combination? Why were diazepam and zopiclone added to sertraline?

 

You're currently taking 3.5mg mirtazapine with 8mg Valium? What times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

 

Thankyou for your reply. I have spent so much money on private psychiatrists and therapists. This is an amazing space.

My symptoms from the sertraline were dilated pupils, trembling, restless legs, suicidal ideation, anxiety and insomnia. My symptoms after were confusion but I would still only sleep 3 hours a night. It was like I was wired but out of it at the same time. My doctor added the zopiclone and diazepam to deal with the symptoms of the sertraline.

 

My parents agreed and my partner did not. I was then signed off work.

 

Now, I'm splitting my doses of diazepam to morning and evening and I take the mirtazapine before bed. I upped the dose of valium voluntarily a few days ago because I was so close to doing something stupid.

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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Sorry I should add. I normally take the morning dose of diazapam (currently 3mg) at 8am and the evening dose (3mg) at 9pm. The mirtazapine at the same time at 9pm.  Late night to morning is when the symptoms are worst.

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • Administrator

If your doctor suspected serotonin syndrome, adding zopiclone and diazepam was an inappropriate treatment. The sertraline should have been reduced or discontinued immediately.

 

How do you feel in the morning, before you take diazepam?

 

How do you feel after you take 3.75mg mirtazapine at night?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

If your doctor suspected serotonin syndrome, adding zopiclone and diazepam was an inappropriate treatment. The sertraline should have been reduced or discontinued immediately.

 

How do you feel in the morning, before you take diazepam?

 

How do you feel after you take 3.75mg mirtazapine at night?

 

Highly anxious and hopeless

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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On 8/29/2022 at 11:27 PM, TylerPez said:

 

Highly anxious and hopeless

On 8/29/2022 at 5:12 PM, Altostrata said:

If your doctor suspected serotonin syndrome, adding zopiclone and diazepam was an inappropriate treatment. The sertraline should have been reduced or discontinued immediately.

 

How do you feel in the morning, before you take diazepam?

 

How do you feel after you take 3.75mg mirtazapine at night?

 

Sorry Strato. To be more clear. I'm more jittery agitated and anxious in the mornings- most mornings are when I have melt downs and start trying to get the suicidal thoughts to stop by slapping myself or begging my partner to help me because I'm terrified my parents will put me in a psych ward.

 

When I go to bed I'm mostly anxious about not getting any sleep. None of my thoughts are ever positive or hopeful from am to pm. My mind tells me the only way out is to kill myself. 

 

I can't distract myself because my thoughts are so fast and I tend to zone out and get lost in them. Since the increase in diazepam not much has changed except my concentration getting worse.

 

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • Administrator

Please answer these separately: 

 

What times o'clock do you take your drugs, with their dosages?

 

How do you feel in the morning, before you take diazepam?

 

How do you feel after you take 3.75mg mirtazapine at night?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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3mg valium around 8am
3mg valium and 3.25mg mirtazapine around 10.30pm.

 

Feel rotten BEFORE taking diazepam. Really shakey, anxious, ruminating, intrusive suicidal thoughts, struggle to move. 

 

 

AFTER taking mirtazapine and diazepam at night feel calmer. Sleep for a few hours.

 

Tonight is the first night I have felt calmer before taking the diazepam and mirtazapine. Probably not relavent though.

 

Thank you for your patience 💚

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • Administrator

It is relevant. You decreased from 8mg diazepam to 6mg 4 days ago. You may have been overdoing diazepam and getting a paradoxical reaction from it. 

 

Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and after taking each drug, and your symptoms in between. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time o’clock on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can show if your symptoms are adverse effects from one of your drugs.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi im her partner. I think she underdosed yesterday. Not sure how to proceed 

 

31/08/22

 

3:30am - woke up, went to read

6am - got up ruminating, highly anxious, sweaty palms and feet, jittery, feeling hopeless

6:45am - go for walk with my friend

8:30am - got back home, feel more depressed, confused Took valium (2mg thinking it was 2.5mg)

9:10am - anxious feeling throughout body, tired jittery

10am - very anxious, irritable, funny feeling in my legs

1pm - lunch, felt slightly calmer after

3pm - mood dips feel hopeless, mum gets frustrated with me

4pm - go to gym for light cardio, anxious, felt like a brick was sat on my chest on the walk home

5:30pm - my partners brother picks me up to travel to Wales, had genuine laughter, intrusive thoughts disappate, triggers are still there

10pm - still driving, getting a bit more anxious  & low

11pm - 3.25mg mirtazapine did NOT take valium as I couldn't tell whether I took a 2mg or 5mg.

 

I can't really remember the morning from yesterday or what i took the morning before. II dont know of i took 1mg, 2mg, 2.5mg, 5mg or 10mg and this morning. I did NOT sleep last night and I was panicing telling my partner (who is in london) I think I need to go to a ward. He talked me out of it an has written this out for me because the confusion is so strong this morning

 

Given the situation, what dose would you recommend this morning? It seems to me she didn't take enough yesterday.

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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I dont know of i took 1mg, 2mg, 2.5mg, 5mg or 10mg and yesterday morning*

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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Update administered 2.5mg valium 8am 1/10/22 (this morning)

 

Seems better than a huge dip. Thanks

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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Hello, I made the experience that it's absolutely necessary to stay with the doses. Only then, the nerve system can calm down. Every day different dosages isnt good. Stay with one dose, wait enough until its getting stabalized and then reduce with 10 percent, but only one med at a time.

Sonia / Lamalein       Link:  My Intro topic

2000 for 5 months in hospital because of Anxiety & panic attacks, 2 withdrawals from benzo, left with 300 mg Quetiapin und 1000 mg Ergenyl Chrono. Reduced Quetiapine and Valproine in 6 years. Since 2006 no meds until mid 2020. After that until 9/2021 in 8 hospitals; traumatized of hospitals and meds. Cold turkey with the meds: Sertralin (got suicidal), Promethazin, Diazepam, Fluxetin, Olanzapin, Risperidon, Quetiapine, Pipamperon, Duloxetin, Agomelatin (paradox), Paroxetin. All the time in withdrawal.
Meds now:
Lorazepam 0.5mg - 0 - 0.5mg - 0  (since 6/2021)
Pregabaline 75mg - 75mg - 75mg - 0  (since 12/2020)
Quetiapine ret.   0 - 0 - 200mg - 0 (since 9/2021)
Mirtazapine        0 - 0 - 0 - 30mg  (since 5/2021)

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Hi thankyou for your help 

 

I understand. I didnt mean to miss the dose. I got confused between the tablets. I keep getting confusion as a side effect - I think an effect from the diazepam. 

 

How should I proceed based on my history? My understanding from other forums is that I need to establish a baseline to extract a pattern of symptoms, then formulate a strategy to proceed with based on that. 

 

Also a side note my doctor recommended a fast taper. But I already feel too unstable for that. What I'm confused about is why at 4mg I didnt seem to level out. Is it because I went down from 12mg to 4mg to quickly?

 

 

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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02/09/22

- No sleep, except a little with nightmares and things that don’t make sense. Hearing random voices in my head saying random things. Confused. Dreams about being really angry. Feels like head will explode 
- 7.22am - 2.5mg valium (1/4 of 10mg pill). A little calmer after talking to Connor. Still very confused. Anxious feeling throughout body. Really sleepy
- 9.12am -  Severely anxious and confused. Suicidal thoughts every second. Burning like sensation over skin. Full of regret and extreme guilt. Unable to focus at all 
- 11.17 - same as 9.12am but with a headache and less of a burning sensation over the skin
- 11.13 - burning/ anxious feeling in legs, headache. Mental symptoms remain
- 1pm went to the gym. Still no distraction
- 3pm - Lunch. Rumination as always but no physical symptoms
- 4pm - weeping spell
- 6pm - no physical symptoms. Feeling really sad and confused 
- 8pm - the same as 6pm
- 9.20 - becoming agitated 
- 9.30 - take 2.5mg valium 3.25mg mirt
- 10.20 - mood slightly lifted but wired feeling

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • Administrator

I'm confused, too. Seems there's been a lot of inconsistency in your dosing.

 

Suggest 2.5mg diazepam doses 12 hours apart for a total of 5mg per day. It may take a couple of weeks for your symptom pattern to smooth out. 

 

On 9/1/2022 at 3:26 PM, Victoria94 said:

- 9.30 - take 2.5mg valium 3.25mg mirt
- 10.20 - mood slightly lifted but wired feeling

 

It's possible your taking Valium with mirtazapine is also causing a paradoxical ("wired") reaction. Suggest you take diazepam apart from mirtazapine at 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., with mirtazapine at 10:30.

 

As @Lamalein said, it's very important that you maintain a consistent schedule.

 

Please post your daily notes 24 hours at a time. This is a whole day and a whole night.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 8/27/2022 at 1:15 PM, Victoria94 said:



May 19th - 25m Sertraline
May 27th- 50mg Sertraline,
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam, Zopiclone 7.5mg - psychiatrist suspects serotonin syndrome from this point on as all the symptoms fit
June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam, 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg valium, 7.5mg Zopiclone - increase in serotonin syndrome symptoms
July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg valium, 7.5mg Zop
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium*, stopped zop
August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium (symptoms were too much dropped down against psychiatrists recommendatio)
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium
August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.5 8mg valium (I thought I might kill myself from the thoughts so I upped the dose, I've been really disciplined so far)
 

 

Wow, there should be like a select few highly trained psychiatrists to prescribe these medications, the above does not even make any sense, these doctors are ruining people's lives like prescribing **** in this way, it is out of control. They have no idea what they are doing at this point, the above is absolutely atrocious, i hope you can get help on here.

Klonopin Mar 2013 - Feb 2021 - used .000 gram scale to cut pills did very slowly from 2017-2021, had no issues stopping after final dose that was sub .5mg diazepam equivalent (If anyone wants advice for tapering Klonopin with a gram scale, feel free to ask!)

tapered off zyprexa twice over 2 weeks in my 20's, had little issue with that after about 3-4 years of use both times.

Prozac 40MG for 5 years - 2016 - 2021 (Total of 13 years of consecutive use)

(Most recent after last break, been on cumulatively in my life 14 years all times combined, 3 separate on/off occasions, all successful except most recent 3/4)

Recent Issue:  Tapered gradually from 40MG down to 0MG from May 7th - Aug 18th

Felt fine through Oct 5th, slowly started getting depression, panic, and anxiety (Was original thing I was treated for)

Decided to go back on SSRI Nov 1st, reacted very bad to 20mg reinstatement, day 1 was fine, day 2 had ADR. Doctor said to drop dosage.

Took 5mg for 2 weeks, 10mg for 2 weeks, still felt physically sick, could not take 20mg for more than 3 days, looking for advice going forward (ADR)

Not happy about it, but on 1.5mg 3x ativan and temazepam 15mg for sleep

(Was sleeping 2-3 hrs nightly prior to temazepam, was first thing that broke 2-3 hr then wide awake sleep cycle)

Main symptoms: headaches from certain foods and meds, sleep is broken, anxiety and agitation is extremely high, cortisol spike sensitive, bad in morning better at night, panic attacks, concentration is awful, focus is awful, anhedonia is awful, sensitive to light and noise, especially noise, extreme depression, intense bouts of fear, every looks and feels 'scary' at times, stress tolerance extremely low, have bouts of extreme anxiety, and bouts akathesia, and bouts extreme anticipatory anxiety over basic events/tasks. Nervous system is clearly crashed.

No Prozac for 249 days.

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02/09/22 

- 01.00am - wake up confused, panicking. Hot but shivering 
- 02.00am - extremely suicidal. Confused. Feeling like there’s no way out. Cannot break thought loop. Completely wired 
- 3.30am - wide awake, still ruminating & confused 
- 5.30am - still wide awake. Listening to music on repeat. Still increasingly anxious
- 7.20am - took 2.5mg valium 
- 8am - anxious, struggling to get out of bed 
- 9.40am - still unable to get out of bed. Constant rumination about being in a psych ward or suicide as per usual
- 11.00am- highly anxious, ruminating, jittery, funny breathing 
- 12 noon - highly anxious, burning sensation in palms 
- 14.30pm - Went for a hike. No improvement in mood
- 16.30pm - Slight improvement in mood and slowed rumination, probably because I’m about to see my partner 
- 8pm - Much calmer as partner is here 
- 22.30pm - Calm and very tired. May be due to my surroundings 3.25mg mirtazapine 
- 22.40pm really sleepy
- 23.30pm - slightly more awake 

- 12.00am - sleep

- 03.30am - wake up jittery, negative thought loops start, thoughts of suicide, tell my partner i can't do this every night for much longer
- 4.40am - still trembling, thought loops, 

- 5.20am - trembling calms down into jitters, suicidal thoughts 

- 6:00am - thought loops, suicidal thoughts

- 7:30am - take valium 3.25mg, ruminating
- 10am - feel no different from valium

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • Administrator

Did you take only one dose of Valium yesterday?

 

When did you take Valium the night of September 1?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Sorry alto I'm very confused atm and I'm not rushing posting this. Please bare with me. 

 

01/10/22

 

01/09/22 5mg Valium, 3.25mg Mirt

- No sleep, except a little with nightmares and things that don’t make sense. Hearing random voices in my head saying random things. Confused. Dreams about being really angry. Feels like head will explode 
- 7.22am - 2.5mg valium (1/4 of 10mg pill). A little calmer after talking to Connor. Still very confused. Anxious feeling throughout body. Really sleepy
- 9.12am -  Severely anxious and confused. Suicidal thoughts every second. Burning like sensation over skin. Full of regret and extreme guilt. Unable to focus at all 
- 11.17 - same as 9.12am but with a headache and less of a burning sensation over the skin
- 11.13 - burning/ anxious feeling in legs, headache. Mental symptoms remain
- 1pm went to the gym. Still no distraction
- 3pm - Lunch. Rumination as always but no physical symptoms
- 4pm - weeping spell
- 6pm - no physical symptoms. Feeling really sad and confused 
- 8pm - the same as 6pm
- 9.20 - becoming agitated 
- 9.30 - take 2.5mg valium 3.25mg mirt
- 10.20 - mood slightly lifted but wired feeling 
- 10.40 - feeling tired

 

02/09/22 

- 01.00am - wake up confused, panicking. Hot but shivering 
- 02.00am - extremely suicidal. Confused. Feeling like there’s no way out. Cannot break thought loop. Completely wired 
- 3.30am - wide awake, still ruminating & confused 
- 5.30am - still wide awake. Listening to music on repeat. Still increasingly anxious
- 7.20am - took 2.5mg valium 
- 8am - anxious, struggling to get out of bed 
- 9.40am - still unable to get out of bed. Constant rumination about being in a psych ward or suicide as per usual
- 11.00am- highly anxious, ruminating, jittery, funny breathing 
- 12 noon - highly anxious, burning sensation in palms 
- 14.30pm - Went for a hike. No improvement in mood
- 16.30pm - Slight improvement in mood and slowed rumination, probably because I’m about to see my partner 
- 8pm - Much calmer as partner is here 
- 22.30pm - Calm and very tired. May be due to my surroundings 3.25mg mirtazapine 
- 22.40pm really sleepy
- 23.30pm - slightly more awake 

- 12.00am - sleep

- 03.30am - wake up jittery, negative thought loops start, thoughts of suicide, tell my partner i can't do this every night for much longer
- 4.40am - still trembling, thought loops, 

- 5.20am - trembling calms down into jitters, suicidal thoughts 

- 6:00am - thought loops, suicidal thoughts

- 7:30am - take valium 3.25mg, ruminating
- 10am - feel no different from valium

 

I haven't missed a 2.5mg dose

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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Unfortunately, it looks like you have may been kindled from all the drug changes and the Adverse Drug Reaction (ADR), just as I and so many have.

 

Your nervous system is now destablized or crashed, so it is reacting to cortisol which spikes early in the day and descreases as the day goes on.

 

A normal person, like when we were both normal, would not notice this as it is a natural part of the circadian rythm.

https://images.app.goo.gl/4frAN71zvtQakNAR6

 

Notice the first big spike is 3 hours after you've been asleep, normally u sleep through this, but it jolts u awake and is highest in the morning which is why you feel the absolute worst in the morning and it gets better as the day goes on.

 

i bolded all the things that have also happened to me, including burning, an odd but common thing people have messaged me about, is burning, burning head burning palms, all of which i experienced, until i got off the offending agent which is almost always serotonin based.

 

 

On 9/3/2022 at 1:58 PM, Victoria94 said:

 

 

02/09/22 

- 01.00am - wake up confused, panicking. Hot but shivering 
- 02.00am - extremely suicidal. Confused. Feeling like there’s no way out. Cannot break thought loop. Completely wired 
- 3.30am - wide awake, still ruminating & confused 
- 5.30am - still wide awake. Listening to music on repeat. Still increasingly anxious
- 7.20am - took 2.5mg valium 
- 8am - anxious, struggling to get out of bed 
- 9.40am - still unable to get out of bed. Constant rumination about being in a psych ward or suicide as per usual
- 11.00am- highly anxious, ruminating, jittery, funny breathing 
- 12 noon - highly anxious, burning sensation in palms 
- 14.30pm - Went for a hike. No improvement in mood
- 16.30pm - Slight improvement in mood and slowed rumination, probably because I’m about to see my partner 
- 8pm - Much calmer as partner is here 
- 22.30pm - Calm and very tired. May be due to my surroundings 3.25mg mirtazapine 
- 22.40pm really sleepy
- 23.30pm - slightly more awake 

- 12.00am - sleep

- 03.30am - wake up jittery, negative thought loops start, thoughts of suicide, tell my partner i can't do this every night for much longer
- 4.40am - still trembling, thought loops, 

- 5.20am - trembling calms down into jitters, suicidal thoughts 

- 6:00am - thought loops, suicidal thoughts

- 7:30am - take valium 3.25mg, ruminating
- 10am - feel no different from valium

 

I haven't missed a 2.5mg dose

Let me know if anything helped.

Klonopin Mar 2013 - Feb 2021 - used .000 gram scale to cut pills did very slowly from 2017-2021, had no issues stopping after final dose that was sub .5mg diazepam equivalent (If anyone wants advice for tapering Klonopin with a gram scale, feel free to ask!)

tapered off zyprexa twice over 2 weeks in my 20's, had little issue with that after about 3-4 years of use both times.

Prozac 40MG for 5 years - 2016 - 2021 (Total of 13 years of consecutive use)

(Most recent after last break, been on cumulatively in my life 14 years all times combined, 3 separate on/off occasions, all successful except most recent 3/4)

Recent Issue:  Tapered gradually from 40MG down to 0MG from May 7th - Aug 18th

Felt fine through Oct 5th, slowly started getting depression, panic, and anxiety (Was original thing I was treated for)

Decided to go back on SSRI Nov 1st, reacted very bad to 20mg reinstatement, day 1 was fine, day 2 had ADR. Doctor said to drop dosage.

Took 5mg for 2 weeks, 10mg for 2 weeks, still felt physically sick, could not take 20mg for more than 3 days, looking for advice going forward (ADR)

Not happy about it, but on 1.5mg 3x ativan and temazepam 15mg for sleep

(Was sleeping 2-3 hrs nightly prior to temazepam, was first thing that broke 2-3 hr then wide awake sleep cycle)

Main symptoms: headaches from certain foods and meds, sleep is broken, anxiety and agitation is extremely high, cortisol spike sensitive, bad in morning better at night, panic attacks, concentration is awful, focus is awful, anhedonia is awful, sensitive to light and noise, especially noise, extreme depression, intense bouts of fear, every looks and feels 'scary' at times, stress tolerance extremely low, have bouts of extreme anxiety, and bouts akathesia, and bouts extreme anticipatory anxiety over basic events/tasks. Nervous system is clearly crashed.

No Prozac for 249 days.

Link to comment

Also, how many prior years of antidepressant use have you had in your life?

Klonopin Mar 2013 - Feb 2021 - used .000 gram scale to cut pills did very slowly from 2017-2021, had no issues stopping after final dose that was sub .5mg diazepam equivalent (If anyone wants advice for tapering Klonopin with a gram scale, feel free to ask!)

tapered off zyprexa twice over 2 weeks in my 20's, had little issue with that after about 3-4 years of use both times.

Prozac 40MG for 5 years - 2016 - 2021 (Total of 13 years of consecutive use)

(Most recent after last break, been on cumulatively in my life 14 years all times combined, 3 separate on/off occasions, all successful except most recent 3/4)

Recent Issue:  Tapered gradually from 40MG down to 0MG from May 7th - Aug 18th

Felt fine through Oct 5th, slowly started getting depression, panic, and anxiety (Was original thing I was treated for)

Decided to go back on SSRI Nov 1st, reacted very bad to 20mg reinstatement, day 1 was fine, day 2 had ADR. Doctor said to drop dosage.

Took 5mg for 2 weeks, 10mg for 2 weeks, still felt physically sick, could not take 20mg for more than 3 days, looking for advice going forward (ADR)

Not happy about it, but on 1.5mg 3x ativan and temazepam 15mg for sleep

(Was sleeping 2-3 hrs nightly prior to temazepam, was first thing that broke 2-3 hr then wide awake sleep cycle)

Main symptoms: headaches from certain foods and meds, sleep is broken, anxiety and agitation is extremely high, cortisol spike sensitive, bad in morning better at night, panic attacks, concentration is awful, focus is awful, anhedonia is awful, sensitive to light and noise, especially noise, extreme depression, intense bouts of fear, every looks and feels 'scary' at times, stress tolerance extremely low, have bouts of extreme anxiety, and bouts akathesia, and bouts extreme anticipatory anxiety over basic events/tasks. Nervous system is clearly crashed.

No Prozac for 249 days.

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On 9/3/2022 at 2:04 AM, UserMan1775 said:

 

Wow, there should be like a select few highly trained psychiatrists to prescribe these medications, the above does not even make any sense, these doctors are ruining people's lives like prescribing **** in this way, it is out of control. They have no idea what they are doing at this point, the above is absolutely atrocious, i hope you can get help on here.

So do I. I dont know if I can endure the taper. Seems the only option is more drugs or a psychiatric ward. Thankyou for your support 

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
On 9/4/2022 at 3:04 AM, TylerPez said:

So do I. I dont know if I can endure the taper. Seems the only option is more drugs or a psychiatric ward. Thankyou for your support 

 

I suggest you check out the Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

 

Both of these members were poly drugged for many years and have successfully managed to get off their drugs:

 

Shep - Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

GiaK - withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions. 

  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator
On 9/4/2022 at 3:04 AM, Victoria94 said:

I dont know if I can endure the taper. Seems the only option is more drugs or a psychiatric ward.

I truly believe you have other healthier options besides more drugs or a psych ward.  Please do not give up hope.  Check out those links to those success stories that Chess Cat gave you above, and they are many other good success stories besides.  The secret to a situation like yours, and many of us here, is an extremely slow, cautious taper with some hold periods when you need to.  It took my 5 years to get of Lexapro, and I was on it for 20 years, but I'm now off, and I'm feeling better and better as time goes on. 

I'm currently taking a break, and will not be moderating at this time. 

 

Do not private message me. Please do not tag me unless it's an urgent question about tapering or reinstating.

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl noon: calcium

suppl supper: calcium

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2 mg

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03/09/22 10am - 04/09/22 10pm Total 5mg Valium, 3.25mg Mirt

 

 

- 10:00 am. Forced to get up. Really depressed, suicidal thoughts on loop
- 11:00 am. Get very agitated and freaking out. Crying 
- 13:00pm. Sleepy but unable to sleep
- 13.30pm. Anxious/ sensitive feeling in legs . Really Tired
- 16:00pm. Feel a bit better after a long hike. Still constantly ruminating as always 
- 20:00pm. Calm with no physical symptoms but negative rumination continues (although not suicidal).
- 20:15pm Take 2.5mg valium
- 23:00pm. Tired 
- 00:00. Sleep
- 02:44 am. Wake up in panic feeling like life is completely over. Trembling, agitated, unable to stay still. 
- 05:21 am. Still completely freaking out to partner. Terror. Trembling and agitated
- 07:30 am. Take 2.5mg valium
- 08:30 am. Drift into sleep for around 30 mins
- 10:00am get up. Calmer physically.  but, suicidal thoughts are on repeat 

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

Link to comment
19 hours ago, UserMan1775 said:

Also, how many prior years of antidepressant use have you had in your life?

 

A total of 4/12 years on and off. 


Citalopram for approx 1 year total
2 year gap

Mirtazapine for 1 year

Sertraline for 2 years

Then a 2 year gap until now. Roughly. My memory is so sketchy. 


Felt a "relapse" coming this year and tried to take them preventatively. I've never felt like this in my life. My partner says the scientific literature on this is very limited. Says there is a gap of research. Suspects the pharmaceutical industry playing a heavy role. He sends his thanks also. 

From him "what you guys are doing here is unpaid is nothing short of ******* amazing. I am so grateful"

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

Link to comment
4 hours ago, getofflex said:

I truly believe you have other healthier options besides more drugs or a psych ward.  Please do not give up hope.  Check out those links to those success stories that Chess Cat gave you above, and they are many other good success stories besides.  The secret to a situation like yours, and many of us here, is an extremely slow, cautious taper with some hold periods when you need to.  It took my 5 years to get of Lexapro, and I was on it for 20 years, but I'm now off, and I'm feeling better and better as time goes on. 

 

I know. It's just my internal monologue is in overdrive telling me to end things. I don't understand how everyone here managed to get through this.

7 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

I suggest you check out the Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal

 

Both of these members were poly drugged for many years and have successfully managed to get off their drugs:

 

Shep - Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

GiaK - withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.

 

I have a cognitive distortion I think from the withdrawals. Everything just triggers me. Could those 3 months really lead me to 2 years worth of w/d symptoms? 

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • Moderator
On 9/4/2022 at 10:59 AM, Victoria94 said:

Could those 3 months really lead me to 2 years worth of w/d symptoms? 

Yes it could.  Do a site search on how drugs remodel the brain.  It takes a Avery long time for the brain to readjust to its predrug state.  

I'm currently taking a break, and will not be moderating at this time. 

 

Do not private message me. Please do not tag me unless it's an urgent question about tapering or reinstating.

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl noon: calcium

suppl supper: calcium

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2 mg

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  • Moderator

I'm currently taking a break, and will not be moderating at this time. 

 

Do not private message me. Please do not tag me unless it's an urgent question about tapering or reinstating.

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl noon: calcium

suppl supper: calcium

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2 mg

Link to comment
38 minutes ago, getofflex said:

Yes it could.  Do a site search on how drugs remodel the brain.  It takes a Avery long time for the brain to readjust to its predrug state.  

Hi it's her partner. Thanks for your honesty. She is panicking quite badly right now. Do the symptoms ease over time?

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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On 9/4/2022 at 10:55 AM, Victoria94 said:

 

A total of 4/12 years on and off. 


Citalopram for approx 1 year total
2 year gap

Mirtazapine for 1 year

Sertraline for 2 years

Then a 2 year gap until now. Roughly. My memory is so sketchy. 


Felt a "relapse" coming this year and tried to take them preventatively. I've never felt like this in my life. My partner says the scientific literature on this is very limited. Says there is a gap of research. Suspects the pharmaceutical industry playing a heavy role. He sends his thanks also. 

From him "what you guys are doing here is unpaid is nothing short of ******* amazing. I am so grateful"

 

Thank you for this info, yes going on and off like that is not good for the brain. Had you taken the 1 year of celexa and then gotten off and stayed off, you probably would have been okay, it seems like a few things are factors the number of years taken AND going on and off and doing lots of switches, as alto has said 'these drugs are not advil', in fact, these drugs are not cigarettes, they are not coffee, they are not alcohol, they are not even heroin, or meth. SSRI, TCA, MAOI, Anti-psychotics, Mood stabilizers, all of the mood altering drugs in psychiatry that take weeks to work, no one really knows how they work, and they absolutely change your brain chemistry and alter your central nervous system. 

 

Certain people are more susceptible than others, but the number of years a drug is taken, the way it is withdrawn, and absolutely multiple fast changes will call trigger PWS, and worse can trigger PWS+Limbic Kindling, which is the worst case scenario and happened to me and so many on this forum.

 

I am better than I was and you will be too, but adding more serotonergic drugs is usually the worse thing you can do, so i would stay calm, let people on the forum help and do not let this psych make anymore wild changes.

 

 

Klonopin Mar 2013 - Feb 2021 - used .000 gram scale to cut pills did very slowly from 2017-2021, had no issues stopping after final dose that was sub .5mg diazepam equivalent (If anyone wants advice for tapering Klonopin with a gram scale, feel free to ask!)

tapered off zyprexa twice over 2 weeks in my 20's, had little issue with that after about 3-4 years of use both times.

Prozac 40MG for 5 years - 2016 - 2021 (Total of 13 years of consecutive use)

(Most recent after last break, been on cumulatively in my life 14 years all times combined, 3 separate on/off occasions, all successful except most recent 3/4)

Recent Issue:  Tapered gradually from 40MG down to 0MG from May 7th - Aug 18th

Felt fine through Oct 5th, slowly started getting depression, panic, and anxiety (Was original thing I was treated for)

Decided to go back on SSRI Nov 1st, reacted very bad to 20mg reinstatement, day 1 was fine, day 2 had ADR. Doctor said to drop dosage.

Took 5mg for 2 weeks, 10mg for 2 weeks, still felt physically sick, could not take 20mg for more than 3 days, looking for advice going forward (ADR)

Not happy about it, but on 1.5mg 3x ativan and temazepam 15mg for sleep

(Was sleeping 2-3 hrs nightly prior to temazepam, was first thing that broke 2-3 hr then wide awake sleep cycle)

Main symptoms: headaches from certain foods and meds, sleep is broken, anxiety and agitation is extremely high, cortisol spike sensitive, bad in morning better at night, panic attacks, concentration is awful, focus is awful, anhedonia is awful, sensitive to light and noise, especially noise, extreme depression, intense bouts of fear, every looks and feels 'scary' at times, stress tolerance extremely low, have bouts of extreme anxiety, and bouts akathesia, and bouts extreme anticipatory anxiety over basic events/tasks. Nervous system is clearly crashed.

No Prozac for 249 days.

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  • Moderator

I’m sorry to hear this. Here are some links.  Have her listen to these.   Do one of the last 2 links first.   
 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

 

15 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Female voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes) Male voice - getselfhelp.co.uk

 

Edited by getofflex

I'm currently taking a break, and will not be moderating at this time. 

 

Do not private message me. Please do not tag me unless it's an urgent question about tapering or reinstating.

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 '02 - 10 mg;  Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, 3 PM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl noon: calcium

suppl supper: calcium

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, GABA 750 mg, Estroven, melatonin 2 mg

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  • Administrator
On 9/3/2022 at 1:58 PM, Victoria94 said:

- 7:30am - take valium 3.25mg, ruminating
- 10am - feel no different from valium

 

Do you mean 10 p.m. here?

 

On 9/1/2022 at 5:55 PM, Altostrata said:

Suggest you take diazepam apart from mirtazapine at 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., with mirtazapine at 10:30.

 

Did you stop taking mirtazapine? It does not appear in your daily notes.

 

It appears to me that you have been taking fairly arbitrary amounts of diazepam since August 15, starting at 3mg per day but shortly more than doubling it to 8mg. You've been taking 6-8mg since August 26. Now you're taking 6.5mg per day.

 

When you take TOO MUCH benzo, it can have a paradoxical effect, keeping you from sleeping and causing disorientation and other symptoms of activation. 

 

With diazepam's long half-life, it takes 1-2 weeks to ramp up to full effect. You may now be feeling the effects of the 8mg you took 8 days ago.

 

If I were you, I'd reduce diazepam immediately to 2.5mg at 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., for a total of 5mg per day. Please continue the daily notes.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

 

 

Do you mean 10 p.m. here?

 

 

Did you stop taking mirtazapine? It does not appear in your daily notes.

 

It appears to me that you have been taking fairly arbitrary amounts of diazepam since August 15, starting at 3mg per day but shortly more than doubling it to 8mg. You've been taking 6-8mg since August 26. Now you're taking 6.5mg per day.

 

When you take TOO MUCH benzo, it can have a paradoxical effect, keeping you from sleeping and causing disorientation and other symptoms of activation. 

 

With diazepam's long half-life, it takes 1-2 weeks to ramp up to full effect. You may now be feeling the effects of the 8mg you took 8 days ago.

 

If I were you, I'd reduce diazepam immediately to 2.5mg at 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., for a total of 5mg per day. Please continue the daily notes.

Hello alto. Yes 10pm. 

 

I meant to put 2.5mg diazepam am/pm. With 3.25mg mirtazapine. My mistake again

May 19th - 25mg Sertraline May 27th- 50mg Sertraline
May 30th - 50mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), Zopiclone 7.5mg June 10th - 25mg Sertraline, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am,pm), 15mg Zopiclone
June 15th - Stopped Sertraline, Started Venlafaxine 75mg, 12mg Diazepam (6mg am/pm), 7.5mg Zopiclone July 21st - Stopped venlafaxine cold turkey, 4mg diazepam, 7.5mg Zopiclone
July 28th - Started 7.5mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium, stopped Zopiclone August 15th - increased 15mg mirtazapine, 3mg valium
August 19th - mirtazapine 7.5mg, 3mg valium August 22nd - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 3mg valium
August 26th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 8mg valium 
August 29th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 6mg valium

September 1st - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 5mg valium  September 19th - Mirtazapine 3.75mg, 4mg valium

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to TylerPez: polydrugged and desperate - don't know what to do
  • Karma changed the title to Victoria94: polydrugged and desperate - don't know what to do

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