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Feel like my life has no meaning


Tallguy1

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I was a broadcasting major and earned a degree in late 2015. I was unable to find any kind of work in that field. I've worked in a warehouse ever since. I also don't have any kind of friends, relationship or much of anything. I'm taking addiction counseling classes for maybe a job down the line. That's the work side of things. I like the exercise component of the job though. I've also been off Zoloft for a year, so I'm adapting to that new normal, so the exercise might help but I also feel kind of alone. I'm really feeling lost right now.

Zoloft December 2014-August 2021

Last dose 25 mg 

Previously mirtazapine October 2014-July 2015

Withdrawal symptoms: irritability, dizziness, lightheadedness, headache.

 

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I think it's important to develop long-term interests that make you happy. Personally, I'm a musician. Most of my happiness in life doesn't come from work or from other people, it comes from the time I spend playing an instrument or writing and recording new material. This comes with tons of various activities and goals that individually bring me joy and purpose. Practicing, researching techniques, setting and achieving long-term goals such as "write an album" or "learn how to produce this genre", "play some shows" or "learn how to play these scales". It's an entire world of passion, joy, and achievement that wouldn't exist unless I immersed myself in this particular interest. I think one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to immerse yourself in some sort of interest that gives your life some direction. It's not all about work, or love, or being somebody, sometimes you just need a simple pleasure to indulge in, preferably one that comes with a learning curve and identifiable milestones for achievement. Without something like that, of course you're going to feel lost and a little pointless. You've got to explore the world.

 

There are countless things like this. Develop a passion for rock climbing, visit local paths and start from the bottom, acquire better gear, meet partners to go with, strive for increasingly difficult climbs. Learn a martial art, start from knowing nothing and observe yourself get into increasingly better physical shape as you practice the discipline and become more skilled in it. There's also a great sense of community and commeraderie at places like boxing gyms, along with the health benefits that massively tie into your mental well-being. Achieve short- and long-term goals like mastering one technique or earning the next belt.

 

Identify things that interest you, even mildly, and take some steps into them. I recently started collecting those ~600-piece LEGO Star Wars helmets and it's a nice set of short-term goals to save up for the next one, build it, and construct a shelf for them. Even a little thing like that can push you along into exploring yourself and the things that make you happy.

 

When you immerse yourself in some sort of interest like this, that's where you'll also find a lot of the other missing pieces. You'll make friends who are likeminded that share your interest, because you'll be engaging in the community that participates in that activity. It's a lot easier to make friends when you "have a thing" and they have "that thing" too. 

 

I used to be deeply depressed and suicidal, I was on Zoloft for around 7 years and have been off of it for a year myself. From personal experience, this is the stuff that helps the most when it comes to finding a sense of direction in life. Try lots of directions. :)

2014-2015 Clonazepam (Klonopin) 2mg BID, Sertraline (Zoloft) 150mg (Discontinued Clonazepam cold turkey)

2014-2021 Sertraline (Zoloft) 150mg (Discontinued cold turkey in hospital, replaced with new regimen)

August 2021 Sodium Valproate 500mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 150mg (Seroquel)

March 2022 Sodium Valproate 500mg, (Depakote), Quetiapine 150mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

May 2022 Sodium Valproate 500mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 150mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN, Mirtazapine 15mg

July 2022 Sodium Valproate (Depakote) 500mg, Quetiapine 200mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN, Venlafaxine 75mg (roughly 10 days)

August 1 2022 Sodium Valproate 500mg (Depakote)Quetiapine 100mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN, Buspirone 10mg (5-7 days)

August 14 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 100mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

September 7 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 50mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

September 22 2022 Sodium Valproate 250mg (Depakote), Quetiapine 25mg (Seroquel), Hydroxyzine 25mg PRN

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Feel like my life has no meaning
  • 2 weeks later...

I think social isolation, and working in a field that isn't what you studied for, can make it hard to find meaning.

 

I struggle with social isolation, from not having friends in the area, and feeling like it's impossible to make new friends given how weird I am right now.

 

Are you finding meaning in the classes, and thinking about becoming an addiction counselor?

2003 - Ritalin, Vyvanse
2004 - Wellbutrin
2006 - Temazepam, possibly an antidepressant

2006 to present - testosterone cypionate, 100mg every 10 days
2008 - Clonazepam
2011 - Chantix, Adderall, Vyvanse, Lamictal 200mg
2012 - Lamictal 200mg, Wellbutrin
2013 - Lamictal 200mg, others
2014 - Lamictal 200mg, Latuda, Prozac, Clonazepam, Gabapentin, others
2015 on - Lamictal 200mg, Sapphris, Vraylar, Clonazepam, Lithium, Wellbutrin, Desipramine, Effexor, Adderall, Seroquel, Depakote, others, ECT
2018 to 2022 - medical cannabis for headaches
2022 (ended in March) - Lamictal 200mg, Wellbutrin XL 300mg, Adderall 15mg, Lexapro 5mg, Xanax 0.5mg (prn)

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