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Housing alternatives / shared housing


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I didn't know where to put this topic. Please relocate if appropriate. I hope that we might expand the pool of resources bebecause a few of us are struggling to find housing for various reasons. It is a tremendous stress that makes all symptoms worse.

 

Gia has spoken of this problem in her blog - the isolation that is becoming prevalent in our drugged, childless and disabled society. I'm watching this play out in my own family. I have one sister who is also childless and unemployed with no formal assistance whatsoever. My father supports her but I have no idea what will happen to her when he passes. I've been on disability for 11+ years and have decent benefits but not a supportive living situation. I don't have long term care insurance and haven't found any resources for temporary care or housing in my area (other medical issues involved).

 

This is just one resource I found with a quick search. My thought is that there are many people living alone who would benefit from another person in the home, whether paying or not. This article states that some families feel more secure when their lived one/elderly parent has someone to act as "eyes and ears" and be there in case of emergency.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

HOMESHARE ALLOWS SENIORS TO "AGE IN PLACE"

http://nationalsharedhousing.org/

 

Though homesharing is not limited to a particular age group, the arrangement provides some important benefits for senior home providers.

 

For someone living on a fixed income, even a small rental income can mean the difference between money troubles and financial security. And since cash-strapped seniors often are the target of home equity scam artists, some additional income could be the best protection against a predator.

 

Seniors who share their homes also have the option of structuring the arrangement to include some provision of services in lieu of rent. For example, a senior who no longer can drive might offer reduced rent in exchange for rides to medical appointments and other errands. In another case, the homeowner might ask the renter to do the grocery shopping, laundry, or yard work. Every arrangement will be different because every individual has different needs.

 

Depending on his or her needs, a senior home provider can request straight rent, all services, or a combination of rent and services.

 

Of course, for some seniors--and their adult children--the greatest benefit of homesharing is companionship and peace of mind.

 

Lynne Hartnett was looking for just that when she contacted Eva Gertzfeld, a program director for the Center of Concern, a Park Ridge, Ill., multiservice nonprofit that offers a homeshare program.

 

She and her siblings wanted their mother to have a roommate--a companion who also could be the family's eyes and ears--even though they knew she was capable of living alone.

 

Their mother's new "roomie," a 50-something woman, has her own bedroom and bathroom in Barbara Terry's Des Plaines, Ill., condominium. Her work and weekend schedule meet Terry's desire for privacy and independence, while still allowing opportunities for the two to share a cup of coffee or go out and try a new restaurant now and then. And since Terry's eyesight no longer allows her to drive, her "homesharer" pitches in to take her to the hair salon, grocery store, and other places.

 

"It has just worked out so well for all of us," Hartnett says of the arrangement.

 

Nonprofits play matchmaker

 

Gertzfeld's homeshare program is one of more than a hundred in the U.S. that bring together home providers and home seekers through what is called a "match-up" service. Usually administered by a nonprofit organization, some of these programs are open to all age groups while others require that at least one of the participants qualify as a senior--62 years and older.

 

Much more than traditional roommate referral services, match-up program coordinators get to know the home provider and the home seeker individually so they can tailor every match to meet the needs of both participants. As part of the process, coordinators typically meet with the applicants, visit the home, check references, introduce prospective roommates, negotiate the written homeshare agreement, and mediate if a problem arises.

 

How often are mediation services needed? According to Jacqueline Grossmann, whose Interfaith Housing Center makes about 40 homeshare matches per year in the northern Chicago suburbs, very seldom. "Home sharing coordinators usually do so much work on the front end that mediation later is rarely required."

 

Hartnett attests to the thoroughness of the process. She recalls that in the process of arranging her mother's match, Gertzfeld did research on both her mother and the future homesharer. There also were a number of meetings, including ones with Hartnett and her sister; with Hartnett and her mother; and with Hartnett, her mother, and the prospective match.

 

"Eva asked a lot of thought-provoking questions," says Hartnett. "She really got things straight from the beginning." Terry and her roommate have been successfully sharing a home since September 2006.

 

If, despite everyone's best effort, the match does not prove to be made in heaven, either participant can withdraw by giving each other 30 days notice."

http://hffo.cuna.org/12433/article/1802/html

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I think the recession has prompted alot of home sharing and room-mates. Alot of adults had to move back home.

 

Great idea...

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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I think the recession has prompted alot of home sharing and room-mates. Alot of adults had to move back home.

 

Yes. Thanks, Nikki.

 

The problem arising in many situations is that there is no "home" to return to - no family. People in 50 -60s who have no children, nieces/nephews, and whose parents may be deceased or in senior facilities themselves. Or whose family is not a viable option..

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I think the recession has prompted alot of home sharing and room-mates. Alot of adults had to move back home.

 

 

The problem arising in many situations is that there is no "home" to return to - no family. People in 50 -60s who have no children, nieces/nephews, and whose parents may be deceased or in senior facilities themselves. Or whose family is not a viable option..

 

Very glad you brought up this topic! Many things have made me aware of what you write about, and nothing like withdrawal to make a person even more acutely aware of what is involved if you don't have even minimal understanding or support from those around you.

 

I have been very interested in this subject for a long time (before w/d), and have read a lot about "intentional communities," etc. because I also see a breakdown in society that is huge, and people's needs are no longer being met in many ways that previously extended families and communities have throughout history. Also huge cultural changes. (Communities of people - on every level, not just geographic - no longer having the common bonds and common cultural institutions that were taken for granted even recently, an increasingly mobile society without roots, and much more) This is a time in history that is perhaps unprecedented in terms of the scope of cultural as well as physical (housing, city planning, etc.) changes.

 

Another (smaller scale, but important) consideration in addition to what you list above is that in many areas and for many people, housing is smaller and doesn't have separate bedrooms/baths. Or involves stairs that a person becomes unable to climb earlier than they could have anticipated. And at least in the U.S., most housing options are unaffordable for most people when changes are needed.

 

I don't mean to sound negative. I'm really alarmed at seeing how these have been problems for a while now and that people have sacrificed the important things in life to politicians and special interests, etc. But if people start really thinking through what quality of life really is, there are also new and wonderful possibilities.

 

Unfortunately, most people I meet lately have their heads up their asses.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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The problem arising in many situations is that there is no "home" to return to - no family. People in 50 -60s who have no children, nieces/nephews, and whose parents may be deceased or in senior facilities themselves. Or whose family is not a viable option..

 

Very glad you brought up this topic! Many things have made me aware of what you write about, and nothing like withdrawal to make a person even more acutely aware of what is involved if you don't have even minimal understanding or support from those around you.

 

I have been very interested in this subject for a long time (before w/d), and have read a lot about "intentional communities," etc. because I also see a breakdown in society that is huge, and people's needs are no longer being met in many ways that previously extended families and communities have throughout history. Also huge cultural changes. (Communities of people - on every level, not just geographic - no longer having the common bonds and common cultural institutions that were taken for granted even recently, an increasingly mobile society without roots, and much more) This is a time in history that is perhaps unprecedented in terms of the scope of cultural as well as physical (housing, city planning, etc.) changes.

 

Another (smaller scale, but important) consideration in addition to what you list above is that in many areas and for many people, housing is smaller and doesn't have separate bedrooms/baths. Or involves stairs that a person becomes unable to climb earlier than they could have anticipated. And at least in the U.S., most housing options are unaffordable for most people when changes are needed.

 

I don't mean to sound negative. I'm really alarmed at seeing how these have been problems for a while now and that people have sacrificed the important things in life to politicians and special interests, etc. But if people start really thinking through what quality of life really is, there are also new and wonderful possibilities.

 

Unfortunately, most people I meet lately have their heads up their asses.

 

Brandy,

 

THANK YOU very much for your input. This is something I thought about long before withdrawal because I was put on disability at 39. I do have a roof over my head and food, but FAR from a supportive relationship. I sometimes go for days and weeks talking to nobody but husband. I have many friends spread across the country, but extremely little local support.

 

I did look into intentional communities when I was feeling a bit better, but I rely on husband to get groceries, etc. My family of origin is very problematic.

 

When I was looking into moving to Nashville, the housing I could afford (shared) required employment outside the home. Many people dont want a roommate/share who will be using utilities all day. Or perhaps it's just a way of weeding out people without outside jobs. It works.

 

This is approaching crisis level in our country and, like you, I see very little acknowledgment that a problem exists. When I attempt to explain it to people, I can feel that there is no comprehension. Most people are still stressed with too much to do and people pulling at them from every direction.

 

Thanks again, Brandy. Your input is greatly valued!

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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1344991254[/url]' post='29484']

1344990314[/url]' post='29480']

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The problem arising in many situations is that there is no "home" to return to - no family. People in 50 -60s who have no children, nieces/nephews, and whose parents may be deceased or in senior facilities themselves. Or whose family is not a viable option..

 

Very glad you brought up this topic! Many things have made me aware of what you write about, and nothing like withdrawal to make a person even more acutely aware of what is involved if you don't have even minimal understanding or support from those around you.

 

I have been very interested in this subject for a long time (before w/d), and have read a lot about "intentional communities," etc. because I also see a breakdown in society that is huge, and people's needs are no longer being met in many ways that previously extended families and communities have throughout history. Also huge cultural changes. (Communities of people - on every level, not just geographic - no longer having the common bonds and common cultural institutions that were taken for granted even recently, an increasingly mobile society without roots, and much more) This is a time in history that is perhaps unprecedented in terms of the scope of cultural as well as physical (housing, city planning, etc.) changes.

 

Another (smaller scale, but important) consideration in addition to what you list above is that in many areas and for many people, housing is smaller and doesn't have separate bedrooms/baths. Or involves stairs that a person becomes unable to climb earlier than they could have anticipated. And at least in the U.S., most housing options are unaffordable for most people when changes are needed.

 

I don't mean to sound negative. I'm really alarmed at seeing how these have been problems for a while now and that people have sacrificed the important things in life to politicians and special interests, etc. But if people start really thinking through what quality of life really is, there are also new and wonderful possibilities.

 

Unfortunately, most people I meet lately have their heads up their asses.

 

Brandy,

 

THANK YOU very much for your input. This is something I thought about long before withdrawal because I was put on disability at 39. I do have a roof over my head and food, but FAR from a supportive relationship. I sometimes go for days and weeks talking to nobody but husband. I have many friends spread across the country, but extremely little local support.

 

I did look into intentional communities when I was feeling a bit better, but I rely on husband to get groceries, etc. My family of origin is very problematic.

 

When I was looking into moving to Nashville, the housing I could afford (shared) required employment outside the home. Many people dont want a roommate/share who will be using utilities all day. Or perhaps it's just a way of weeding out people without outside jobs. It works.

 

This is approaching crisis level in our country and, like you, I see very little acknowledgment that a problem exists. When I attempt to explain it to people, I can feel that there is no comprehension. Most people are still stressed with too much to do and people pulling at them from every direction.

 

Thanks again, Brandy. Your input is greatly valued!

 

we who are homeless (and i'll end up being that on Sept 14, 2012, now that my brother who i was living with told me to get out and never to return) are the dregs of the world. Had I known 36 years ago that my brothers (save maybe one, and he is also of the opinion i am a lazy bastard), even though i have enough problems trying to sleep, let alone get out of bed most days. Lately, I have been crying my ever loving head off, since I've been totally frustrated trying to find meaningful (at least to me) work, as well as feeling unappreciated for what work i was able to do, to the best of ability. i'm a perfectionist, and sometimes i set the bar too high.

Nowadays, the only thing i hear is that money is everything. yes, i have gone on the wild spending sprees. yes, i could turn on you in an instant in my younger days. Yes, i sometimes heard voices in my head telling me not so nice things. Yes, I heard music in my head a good bit of the time. Yes, I have been taken advantage of by coworkers.Yes, I have been taken advantage of by others, since I thought they were sincere.Yes, I can be deceitful. I own up to everything i ever did wrong, and it troubled me for years. Unfortunately, no one would listen when i wanted to talk, except maybe my mother, and even then i had to be careful, since she had a temper. I do understand why she was that way, considering her father was the town drunk and quite abusive.

With Dad, I could never do anything right. It was do it his way, or get out of my house and never return. To him, to be sensitive was to be effeminite. In his world, a man had to be strong and agressive.

The classic greek meaning of autism is removed from social interaction. i really fit that description, since i have been hurt by too many people that i put my trust in. i always diverted my eyes and head downward, as a sign of respect and submission, as well as sadness. Unfortunately, that put a very large target on my back for almost every bully i ran into. Some of them, years later, realized that hey, this guy knows something, especially with music and computer support, as well as where i could find something. i may not have said much, but talk to me on something in my expertise, and i'll go to town, a la John Ratzenberg's character on the TV Show Cheers. Good luck trying to shut me up, once I get going. Funny thing is, when i talk, it is almost always fast and sort of stream of conciousness fashion. To the few friends i have, I am loyal. you cross up my friends, you also did it to me. i will forgive, but it takes a long time for me to forget.

i have always ingratiated myself to my elders, especially if they were willing to talk. if they talk, i'll talk, but not much, unless it was on one of my pet subjects. i was also one to learn from their experiences.

if you want my opinion, i'll give it to you unvarnished, and you may not like the way i express it.

 

For the last 150 years, families stayed together. it has only been since the mid 20th century that children were expected to leave the nest. The pendulum may be starting to swing back, no thanks to the current economic climate. Maybe in my lifetime, although i doubt it, we will see a multigenerational family unit come back together. In the meantime, if i can live with a semi mobile and articulate elderly person who will let me stay in their home in exchange for chores, i'll do it.

History:

1995--Prozac--Quit CT by GP

1995--Effexor--Quit per my GP

1996--Amitriphene--Quit CT when changed GP

2005--Citalopram and BusPar. Prescribed when I decompensated in my GP's office. GP referred me to behavior health. Psychiatrist prescibed these drugs. Taken off citalopram in 2011 due to FDA warning. Quit Buspar during transition to viibryd.

Viibryd--2011 to present. Had a severe reaction in March 2012. Advised both GP and Psychiatrist I was trying to get off these drugs.

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  • 2 weeks later...

The Caretaker Gazette

http://www.caretaker.org/

 

Fellowship for Intentional Communities

http://directory.ic.org/

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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