littlebird: tried tapering Pristiq - will try tapering Wellbutrin instead

[Fifree]

Well done @littlebird  this sounds like good practice for the wedding day

[littlebird]

Log

10am - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

12pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

2pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

4pm - 97.5 Gabapentin

6pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

8pm - 97.5 Gabapentin

10pm - Pristiq

12am - 100mg Seroquel

 

Okay, moving Gabs later in the day seems to be helping some with nerve pain.

 

Today was a bit full-on and required me going into the toolkit of coping skills. My anxiety really convinced me terrible things were happening that weren’t. Taking a minute outdoors to catch up on log and relax a little.

 

Wedding planning is kicking into high gear and the stress might be getting to me. Wanted to raise my voice at my partner, and I never usually feel that upset. I didn’t raise my voice, kept my cool. Shocked I wanted to yell at them, truly, I think I’m really on edge.

 

Got a sunburn where the shingles scars are (oops, hiked too long without reapplying SPF) and it somehow… woke the stuff up in a weird way. Swelling started there, then spread and now my joints are swollen in that leg. Wondering if the virus woke up and body is fighting it? The other leg, just as sunburnt, is not swollen.

 

Gratitude

Enjoying family time, and also enjoying balancing that out with alone time. Solitude is really helping sometimes!

 

Been walking a lot, grateful to my body for helping me amble around. Been less blue, not sure if that’s tapering Gabs or getting more walking in.

 

Had a good chat with my dad today, never know how those are gonna go and was grateful it was a good one.

 

I'm grateful to get time with my mother-in-law, she's very sweet to me.

 

My mother-in-law might have been talking about me and my partner as a duo, but I suspect she used my pronouns today. It made me feel good, so I'm gonna lean towards her getting it just to give myself a lil boost.

[littlebird]

2 hours ago, Fifree said:

Well done @littlebird  this sounds like good practice for the wedding day

 

... I'm gonna have to have a gabs bottle (on ice?) somewhere, I hadn't thought about that detail. We got a month and some change, I have time to figure it out.

 

Y'all, how refrigerated does a liquid made of pills have to be? Can it be in a beach bag on a hot day, for example? How quickly does it go off?

[Thorin]

17 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Y'all, how refrigerated does a liquid made of pills have to be? Can it be in a beach bag on a hot day, for example? How quickly does it go off?

Apparently it can go off pretty quick depending on the med. couple of days in the fridge or on ice seems to be the limit from what I’ve read on here. Can you take a cooler with ice to the beach for your meds?

[littlebird]

6 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Can you take a cooler with ice to the beach for your meds?

 

Maybe, or figure out some sort of ice pack... wedding is going to be on beach, and it might be hot, so gotta think this one out. Gonna be a long day, starts 8am goes till 1am the following day. Cuckoo bananas.

 

Dude, I saw so many gators on my walk today. Flipping dinosaurs. They evolved to this point and said, "That's good," and just stayed that way for 8 million years. 

[Thorin]

2 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Maybe, or figure out some sort of ice pack... wedding is going to be on beach, and it might be hot, so gotta think this one out. Gonna be a long day, starts 8am goes till 1am the following day. Cuckoo bananas.

Woo that’s a long wedding! Sounds like fun! I wouldn’t stress. It’s easy to stick a little cooler somewhere. That’s all you need.

 

3 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Dude, I saw so many gators on my walk today. Flipping dinosaurs. They evolved to this point and said, "That's good," and just stayed that way for 8 million years. 

That’s so freaking cool. Like you said, they got to a point an said ‘ no more evolving required. We’ve hit the jackpot bois!’ And stayed that way. Very cool!

[j1290]

9 hours ago, Thorin said:

no more evolving required. We’ve hit the jackpot bois!

This cracked me up.   Those things are so scary.   

 

9 hours ago, littlebird said:

Dude, I saw so many gators on my walk today. Flipping dinosaurs.

GTFO did you really?!?   I was in Miami for a few days and saw some lizards but that's about it.   W..what do you even do when you see a gator hanging out?  I don't think I'd leave my house.  

[littlebird]

52 minutes ago, j1290 said:

W..what do you even do when you see a gator hanging out?  I don't think I'd leave my house.  

 

I was in a park taking pictures of them hanging in the pond when the biggest one turned towards me and started swimming to shore. Didn't take any chances and skedaddled. 

[Thorin]

7 hours ago, j1290 said:

it.   W..what do you even do when you see a gator hanging out? 

😂 I do want to see one. But not too close

[littlebird]

10 minutes ago, Thorin said:

😂 I do want to see one. But not too close

 

None of my photos came out because I didn't want to get too close... they can move fast when they want to!

[littlebird]

Log

10am - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

12pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

2pm - 25mg(ish) Wellbutrin IR (fragments slipped out of case)

4pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

6pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

8pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100am Seroquel

 

Feeling a bit more blue than usual, not sure if it’s meds or life. Been crying a lot.

 

Gratitude

Grateful for my sweet partner and pup! 

 

Glad I’ve been walking more, it seems to help my mood.

[littlebird]

Pristiq is kicking in, now that I've switched up the order of things and take it after Gabapentin instead of Wellbutrin it's really amping me up late at night. Dammit! When I was taking it after Wellbutrin, I felt sleepy and relaxed. What the heck?

[Thorin]

34 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Feeling a bit more blue than usual, not sure if it’s meds or life. Been crying a lot.

Can relate. Personally I’ve found this to be transient. It comes and goes. It’s painful but also good to get things out. Hang in there!

[Thorin]

21 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Pristiq is kicking in, now that I've switched up the order of things and take it after Gabapentin instead of Wellbutrin it's really amping me up late at night. Dammit! When I was taking it after Wellbutrin, I felt sleepy and relaxed. What the heck?

Sucks that you’re on this pickle LB. I can only hope that it gets easier for you over time as you slowly drop your dosage.

[littlebird]

24 minutes ago, Thorin said:

59 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Feeling a bit more blue than usual, not sure if it’s meds or life. Been crying a lot.

Can relate. Personally I’ve found this to be transient. It comes and goes. It’s painful but also good to get things out. Hang in there!

 

When the water comes, I try to just let it flow! Oof, gone through so many tissues. After therapy I quietly split them all into different trash cans so in-laws wouldn't know I'd been crying it up so hard in the guest room. 

 

23 minutes ago, Thorin said:

Sucks that you’re on this pickle LB. I can only hope that it gets easier for you over time as you slowly drop your dosage.

 

Hopefully! Every time Pristiq causes me grief I think on the psychiatrist who said, "People cold turkey that all the time." Then again... people also come on here with massive issues after tapering too fast, let alone CTing it. Wish I could just throw it away and stop taking it without negative consequences! Ah well.

 

Hope you're doing all right, and you get to see a gator soon (but not too close). 

[Thorin]

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

After therapy I quietly split them all into different trash cans so in-laws wouldn't know I'd been crying it up so hard in the guest room. 

Nice move! I like it!

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

psychiatrist who said, "People cold turkey that all the time." Then again..

Don’t even get me started on this. I have my 6 monthly appointment with my psych tomorrow. Looking for we’d to when this is no longer a thing. Only need to see him to get my scripts

 

1 hour ago, littlebird said:

Hope you're doing all right, and you get to see a gator soon (but not too close). 

Thanks LB. Hope I get to see one too!

[j1290]

5 hours ago, littlebird said:

After therapy I quietly split them all into different trash cans so in-laws wouldn't know I'd been crying it up so hard in the guest room. 

That's a pro move right there!

[RachelSusan]

@littlebird You mentioned crying a bit. Do you think that is because of the Gabapetin reduction or do you think it is because you have changed the order of the medications?

One of the things that drives me nuts about this process is not knowing what is causing an exact symptom.

 

Gators scare the crap out of me. If I lived in Florida and had a dog I would totally flip out. I had a small dog and there were owls, and coyotes where I live. That little guy never went out in our yard alone. Never. He lived to the ripe old age of 16 and never had an issue but we had to be highly vigilant.

 

I look forward to reading your posts even though I don't respond very often.Thank you for the updates. I appreciate them.

[littlebird]

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

You mentioned crying a bit. Do you think that is because of the Gabapetin reduction or do you think it is because you have changed the order of the medications?

 

From lowering Gabs before, I know that the emotionality is definitely part of it. Also, I'm in kind of a perfect storm to be emotional here. The last few times I cried were about mother-in-law losing her memory/getting confused often, wedding stress, and my dad's cancer.

 

So, life circumstances are at play here... but I'm positive tapering is making me more tearful too. I usually don't cry this much. Dammit, I'm crying again just thinking about crying. Yup, Gabapentin taper emotionality is back.

 

I used to choke back tears and hold it in, or apologize for crying in front of people like I was doing something offensive. Now, when the water comes I let it flow (unless it's a totally inappropriate event, then I'll excuse myself and cry).

 

13 hours ago, Thorin said:

Hope I get to see one too!

 

1 hour ago, RachelSusan said:

Gators scare the crap out of me. If I lived in Florida and had a dog I would totally flip out.

 

I had such a close call first time I came here. I'm a californian from the midwest and had no idea gators were literally everywhere here. Fresh off the plane, I took our dog for a walk and wandered over to the pond by my in-law's condo. I got close to the water looking for turtles when a man opened his window to holler, "Get your dog away from the water! There's a gator in there who eats dogs!"

 

Bless that man! He might've saved her life that day. There are some huge hawks and eagles around here, so she's on a short leash in Florida. It's wild here!

 

9 hours ago, j1290 said:

14 hours ago, littlebird said:

After therapy I quietly split them all into different trash cans so in-laws wouldn't know I'd been crying it up so hard in the guest room. 

That's a pro move right there!

 

Not my first rodeo! 🤠

[j1290]

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Also, I'm in kind of a perfect storm to be emotional here.

FWIW, IMO you have all kinds of permission to be emotional.  Planning a wedding and visiting relatives, all on top of tapering, is a lot.  

 

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

I got close to the water looking for turtles

Turtles are cool.  I just realized I forgot to feed the ducks near my hotel.   I owe them some bread.   

 

6 hours ago, littlebird said:

Not my first rodeo! 🤠

ahhh haha no doubt!  I'm right there with you!  

[littlebird]

3 minutes ago, j1290 said:

I just realized I forgot to feed the ducks near my hotel.   I owe them some bread.

 

Hopefully you get the gig and can swing by when you move to town to hook 'em up!

 

4 minutes ago, j1290 said:

IMO you have all kinds of permission to be emotional.

 

Thank you! It's been a bit much, and we haven't even seen my parents yet. 😬 With all the childhood stuff coming to the surface, I'm gonna have to schedule in some self-care time for sure. 

[j1290]

Just now, littlebird said:

Hopefully you get the gig and can swing by when you move to town to hook 'em up!

oh, most def!  I'm a big supporter of our feathered friends.  I just got off track or I surely would have fed some hungry ducks.   

 

2 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Thank you! It's been a bit much, and we haven't even seen my parents yet. 😬 With all the childhood stuff coming to the surface, I'm gonna have to schedule in some self-care time for sure. 

I can only imagine, for so many reasons.  Just doing this interview thing, back near where I grew up, brought up so many emotions and whatnot in weird unexpected ways.  That said, I think I gotta challenge myself in order to grow, so it's well worth it.  Good on you for picking up that gauntlet, Littlebird the Brave! 

[littlebird]

11 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Just doing this interview thing, back near where I grew up, brought up so many emotions and whatnot in weird unexpected ways.

 

Oh yeah, sometimes just seeing a place that looks like where I grew up in a movie or show will get me thinking... being back there is a whole new level. I can't do the neighborhood I grew up in, weird enough to be back in the area at all.

 

13 minutes ago, j1290 said:

That said, I think I gotta challenge myself in order to grow, so it's well worth it.  Good on you for picking up that gauntlet, Littlebird the Brave! 

 

Facing challenges like champs!! Sounds like you just ran quite the gauntlet yourself. Did it feel okay to be back, or like it's not the move?

[j1290]

50 minutes ago, littlebird said:

being back there is a whole new level. I can't do the neighborhood I grew up in, weird enough to be back in the area at all.

I hear you.  Driving around in that area this weekend, so many ghosts riding in the car with me I could drive in the HOV lane LOL   Not to minimize because it was intense.  

 

51 minutes ago, littlebird said:

Did it feel okay to be back, or like it's not the move?

Overall?  Felt great.  Lots of really nice, friendly people.  Did I read correctly that you were raised in the midwest, LB?  You may have told me and I forgot.  I was as well, so I enjoy being back there.   

[littlebird]

27 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Driving around in that area this weekend, so many ghosts riding in the car with me I could drive in the HOV lane LOL   Not to minimize because it was intense. 

 

Ha! This made me laugh out loud, and also nod knowingly because I so know that intense feeling.

 

28 minutes ago, j1290 said:

Lots of really nice, friendly people.  Did I read correctly that you were raised in the midwest, LB?  You may have told me and I forgot.  I was as well, so I enjoy being back there.

 

Yes! Oh man, many times if I find myself in conversation with California stranger, they also grew up in the midwest. Maybe those rough winters make you want to get to know your neighbors? Who knows, but I enjoy the friendliness of the midwest big time. Not gonna enjoy the cold while I'm there, but the warm people might make up for it.

[littlebird]

Log

10am - 25mg Wellbutrin IR (love this change, way more energy in the mornings now)

12pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin (getting good at the quick draw of liquid on the go)

2pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

2:30pm - Weirdly dizzy. Ate a big lunch, so maybe med related

4pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

6pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

8pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

11pm - AMPED, why is Pristiq not my night-time relaxing friend anymore?

12pm - 100mg Seroquel (it fights the upper of Pristiq now, there’s a moment where I waver then Seroquel knocks me out, I have restless sleep, and wake up tired)

 

So emotional! This happened last time I lowered Gabapentin too. I want hugs all the time plz.

 

Feeling nervous about the Pristiq-nervous that is coming after I take it at 10. Don’t want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy! Other than the late night activation from Pristiq, the change in schedule is making for less nerve pain (although that could also be the warm Florida weather).

 

I am flipping amped up on Pristiq! So weird this happens now. I’m as awake and tense as I'd be if I had caffeine late at night. What the actual heck is happening here?

 

Gratitude

My in-laws occasionally use my pronouns now!!! Every now and again, a lil “they/them/theirs” sneaks in. Woohoo! 99.9% of the time it’s misgendering, but that .01% makes me very happy indeed.

 

It’s chilly and windy, but the sun is so nice. Really helps my mood to have some sun.

 

My dog’s injury seems to be getting better! She wanted to go on a longer walk than she’s been able to do since it happened. Hopeful she’ll be able to get back to normal.

 

Speaking of dogs, my in-law's dog is very cuddly (something my pup isn't a fan of) and it's been good for my soul to get some cuddle time with this silly lil fluffers. I've given him so many lil kisses on this tense night in gratitude for the snuggling.

 

Walking more has been helpful for my mood! Glad to get more miles under my feet.

 

My therapist is really helpful with finding cancellations, not to mention super helpful therapeutically. Super grateful to be working with him.

 

The internet solved a (very small and silly) problem I had! Seriously love the connection we have with knowledge and each other.

[littlebird]

Oh my goodness, the way Pristiq amps me up now that it's not following Wellbutrin! I don't know if I should take this at 10pm anymore. But... where should it go in the schedule? I'm a tense little bird tonight.

[j1290]

2 hours ago, littlebird said:

Yes! Oh man, many times if I find myself in conversation with California stranger, they also grew up in the midwest. Maybe those rough winters make you want to get to know your neighbors? Who knows, but I enjoy the friendliness of the midwest big time. Not gonna enjoy the cold while I'm there, but the warm people might make up for it

I swear I just DMd you exactly this before I read it.  Same.  I was just reading that if you want to be accepted in the community in the midwest you're going to have to get used to making smalltalk.  That stuff used to baffle me lol.  I tell you what if I ever needed to ask a favor I'd bet on a midwesterner to help me out everytime.  Why am I living somewhere I don't like.  Next phase of my life is going to have more fun.

[StayHopeful]

@littlebird

 

Hey! Just wanted to stop in and say Thank you again for the support you gave me during my stint with Covid. It's the first time I'd been sick during withdrawal (and with Covid), and I was very nervous about it. Having your support, helped a lot.

 

I read you're visiting Florida. I've been there before, the humidity and the sound of all the bugs at night, always got me. I don't know where you're at there, I mostly saw the northeastern side of the state. The water ways and Spanish moss in the area I was at, made it seem swampish, which was pretty neat. Isn't it funny, how different parts of the country, with regional dialects and accents, really seem like completely different countries sometimes? I've lived on both coasts and been through a lot of the US and it always amazes me how different places can be. It's really cool.

 

Don't forget to tell those emotions to back off a bit and give you a break, maybe they'll listen... sending hugs of support!

 

I hope your visit goes well, stay safe and have a great, memorable time! 😊

 

SH

 

 

 

 

[littlebird]

21 hours ago, j1290 said:

I was just reading that if you want to be accepted in the community in the midwest you're going to have to get used to making smalltalk. 

 

Oh yeah, and no big talk. Keep up those appearances! 

[littlebird]

6 hours ago, StayHopeful said:

Just wanted to stop in and say Thank you again for the support you gave me during my stint with Covid. It's the first time I'd been sick during withdrawal (and with Covid), and I was very nervous about it. Having your support, helped a lot.

 

Happy to help! So glad to read that you're on the mend. 

 

6 hours ago, StayHopeful said:

I've been there before, the humidity and the sound of all the bugs at night, always got me. I don't know where you're at there, I mostly saw the northeastern side of the state. The water ways and Spanish moss in the area I was at, made it seem swampish, which was pretty neat.

 

The bugs are getting me big time! My legs look like I have chicken pox. While I'll miss the warm weather, I won't miss those lil stinkers eating me alive. I love all the air plants here! So cool. 

 

6 hours ago, StayHopeful said:

Don't forget to tell those emotions to back off a bit and give you a break, maybe they'll listen... sending hugs of support!

 

Tried to make myself feel better by smiling even though I didn't feel like smiling on a walk. It kinda worked! Felt like those muscles are weak and need to work out, I had to work to put one on my face, but I did feel a little lighter after awhile. Might have to make a practice of this!

 

Thank you for stopping by, you've brightened up my night! So glad you're feeling better.

[littlebird]

Log

10am - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

12pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

2pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

4pm - 97.5 Gabapentin

6pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

8pm - 97.5 Gabapentin

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

12am - 100 mg Seroquel

 

Busy day! Got some walking in, which was nice. My social battery is starting to run low. Wish I could go to bed early, gotta keep it pushing for another hour to midnight!

 

Gratitude

Got to jump in the pool today after a long walk! Loving this visit to warm weather. Off to the hinterlands tomorrow!

 

Managed meds in various situations, and have kept on top of schedule despite time change and travel and doing things other than my usual routines. 

 

Been walking a lot! Love it. Saw a gator chase another gator across a pond today, real life nature show.

 

Grateful to carve out a little quiet time for myself tonight. 

[j1290]

13 hours ago, littlebird said:

Managed meds in various situations, and have kept on top of schedule despite time change and travel and doing things other than my usual routines

Keeping that consistent, despite time zone changes, is a real feat.  You go, LB!  Nice work!   

 

13 hours ago, littlebird said:

Saw a gator chase another gator across a pond today, real life nature show.

That's really neat but from *far* away.  Yikes! 

[littlebird]

14 hours ago, j1290 said:

That's really neat but from *far* away.  Yikes! 

 

Yeah, I thought I was far enough away... then a Floridian lady walking by told me, "Watch out, they move faster than you think." 🐊

[littlebird]

Log

10am - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

12pm - 97.5mg Gabapentin

2pm - 25mg Wellbutrin IR

4pm - 97.5 Gabapentin

6pm - 25mg Wellbutrin

8pm - 100mg Gabapentin pill (on plane)

10pm - 25mg Pristiq

Bedtime - 100mg Seroquel

 

Made it to the Midwest! Ready for bed. Very tired!

 

Gratitude

Glad to have an easy trip and safe travels! Also grateful to have a cozy house and bed to sleep in tonight. It's raining, which is adding to the coziness. 

 

The flight wasn't full, and we had an empty seat in our row, so I was able to stretch out a little. On a Southwest flight, that's basically first class! 

[littlebird]

Well, had the psych med talk with my mom sooner rather than later! She mentioned her psychiatrist has her on alternating day doses of Celexa (one day higher dose, one day lower), and is recommending daily benzos to help with anxiety. Yikes.